Bourges had undergone incredible advancements and changed over the years since I last walked these cobblestoned streets. The buildings, once familiar, had aged gracefully, some torn down and rebuilt anew. The fading colors of the facades retained a splendor all their own, like aged wine, rich with history and character. The air was filled with a blend of old-world charm and modern vibrancy, the scent of fresh pastries mingling with the earthy aroma of ancient stone.
Trae was the most talkative boy I could ever imagine. His childhood alongside Solomon and Diva's other chevalier was strange to listen to at first. His experiences growing up, discovering himself and his capabilities, were ventures none had experienced before. As he spoke of his childhood with such vivid detail, I could almost see the scenes unfold before me: a young Trae running through sun-dappled forests, his laughter echoing through the trees; the intense training sessions with Solomon, each movement precise and powerful; the quiet moments of reflection by the river, where he pondered his place in the world.
Hearing him recount these memories, it was hard to believe that the little boy I once held in my arms had stopped aging at the tender age of 24. His youth was forever locked in place, a stark contrast to the ever-changing world around us. Time would continue forward, but for Trae, it seemed to stand still, preserving his vitality and innocence in a way that was both beautiful and heartbreaking. But I could say it's the same for both of us. We were timeless pieces in an ever-changing world.
"So much has happened… I've missed so much of your life…" unable to swallow the harsh truth of it all, his hand grabbed my own and squeezed it tight. "You look so much like your father…" smiling as I fixated his hair, he said nothing to me for a moment before stopping briefly on the bridge.
"And here I've been told I look more like you, Mère." His delighted tone making my heart swell with pride, he stepped forward, his long stride making our hands separate, he swung on the lamp post like a giddy child as he smiled at me. "Tell me more of your journey with Haji, Mère." He asked whimsically.
I looked around the bustling streets, hearing the cafés and the vendors selling their wares so freely. It didn't occur to me Trae was staring right at me waiting for my own tales. The years he missed of my life just as I missed his. "You can start when you first met him…or how you came to be, anything really." As though reading my mind, it was cute.
"Well, it's not all pleasant… but if you are willing to listen, I will start from when I awoke." We came across a small stone bridge, slowing our pace as I gave thought to how to begin. A mix of emotions swirled within me—pain from the memories that still haunted me, but also a bittersweet sense of reminiscence. The past was a part of me, no matter how much it hurt.
"I would like to hear it." He leaned against the stone arch and waved to passing girls giggling in the distance. Seeing him as such a charmer made me laugh at the spectacle.
"What?"
"Who would have thought my son would be a womanizer."
"I am not!" He burst out without any mannerisms and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep himself composed. "Don't rile me up, Mère, it's unfair."
"Hehe. Let's take a seat then, and I will tell you about my awakening and how I met Haji."
Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to delve into the memories. The pain was still there, sharp and raw, but so was the warmth of the moments that followed. It was a strange duality, feeling both anguish and a sense of longing for the past.
"Before meeting Haji, there was nothing but a quiet darkness that engulfed me. The cold was pervasive, seeping into my bones, and the only sound was the echo of my own misguided thoughts. Time seemed to lose all meaning in that realm. No matter how hard I tried to move, I felt myself breaking into pieces, little by little. The cause of my state was alien and frightening. The last thing I felt before being trapped in that place was my heart being clutched, a sensation I couldn't fully grasp as I choked for air. Yet, I held onto something far stronger than death.
A warmth began to thaw me, spreading slowly through my frozen limbs. It was like the first rays of sunlight after a long, dark winter. As my body began to respond, a ravenous hunger hit me with a force that was almost painful.
I was starving.
When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was an orange glow, flickering like a distant flame. The smell hit me next—rich, metallic, and intoxicating. It curved my appetite, drawing me in. I saw a figure, but my focus was solely on the smell. Lunging at an arm, I drank my fill, feeling the fogginess in my mind dissipate with each gulp. The warmth of the blood coursed through me, bringing clarity and strength. Before I could fully comprehend what I was doing, my mind slowly emptied itself, and then there was nothing."
Trae took a long time collecting his thoughts and forming the words he wished to say after hearing this. He seemed pained and broken, wishing to erase the experience I'd gone through. But no matter how one desires it to change, we must come to accept it.
"Mère that's so lonely to hear." Trae took hold of my hand and slowly brushed his thumb across my fingers. A gentle touch. "Such heartbreaking words thinking you were alone in the dark."
"At the time there was only the thought of food and survival. The moment I drank Haji's blood I felt that darkness go away and didn't feel so cold anymore." I say with a little more charm and warmth behind it.
"Then the memory loss?" His eyes searched mine and I had to admit it was sad to think about it.
"It happened the moment I stopped drinking his blood I believe. When my eyes became focused, and it happened so quickly, there wasn't even a chance for me to gather any thought other than to quench my thirst and ease the hunger pains."
I waited until he was ready for more, and when he assured me he was I continued my tale.
"As my lips parted from the arm and seeing a man with a disheveled and surprised look on his face to what transpired, everything began to clear up in my vision and the hunger sated. Haji was clearly on guard for he was ready to attack me if I went after his life, but when he saw how confused and scared I was, he softened and instead just looked after me.
Haji was a kind man who didn't force anything onto me. As he asked for information to who I was I could only recall my own name."
Trae stopped me and seemed to be holding back tears. Several passersby looked at us, but with a simple wave of a hand and an aloof smile, they didn't bother us.
"Your name…that was truly all you could recall? Nothing before that?"
Shaking my head as I looked up at the clear sky, I too found it incredibly pathetic. Out of everything, my entire existence was erased from my own mind.
"Konella was all I could remember being and that was it. Everything else about myself was more questions and confusing dreams for years. Honestly if it wasn't for Haji, I probably would have died in that darkness… buried in snow."
"Mère that is so sad to hear…to think all this time you've been fighting such a loss in your own heart all this time without understanding what it was you were missing." He was beside himself. Figuring it would be best to end the discussion here, he seemed adamant to stop now.
"My travels were not all bad Trae. I traveled the world and saw a great deal of culture and experienced great wonders around the world thanks to him. Though it was a wonderful journey there was always a nagging feeling that I was not where I was supposed to be. Haji was benevolent to me and even trained me to defend myself against the chiropterans. Spoke of Saya and his duty of servitude. Where he came from and how he came to be. Sure, the void was there always reminding me there was something missing, but I never dwelled too hard on it to disrupt what I was living. My journey and all that I've seen is what made me stronger and who I am today right now."
"You are so very strong, Mère. The years you've been gone, you were always on my mind, and not once did I think you were truly dead. Père never gave up. Somehow, we knew you were still alive but could never venture out to search for you."
"What stopped you from trying?" He hesitated in answering, which caught my full attention. I straightened to look at him properly. "Trae, what stopped him?" He sighed and swept his hair back, reluctant to speak further. "Trae, answer me." My tone was demanding now, and he flinched before caving in without much choice.
"As chevaliers, we are bound to our queen, forever loyal to protect them and to never stray far from them either. Our love is meant for only one queen."
Something in the way he phrased his words felt wrong. He was hiding something. I felt it. Repeating "one queen" was his way of hinting at something without truly vocalizing it.
"Père was brave at one point when he thought there was a trace of you found in Russia. He confronted Diva and fervently asked to search for you himself…"
"What happened? Why stop?" Trae shut his eyes. I took hold of his hands, needing to know what happened between him and Diva. I wasn't sure what I would hear.
"She lost her temper and forced him to transform," he looked down, his voice trembling with suppressed rage. I tightened my grip on his hands, urging him to continue. "She ripped his wings and arm off as a warning never to defy her again to search for you."
"What?!" The shock hit me like a physical blow.
He looked away, and I took hold of his face, forcing him to look back at me. "Why would she harm him?! Her own chevalier!" A ringing in my ears began to erupt, but I shoved it back and continued. I had to know the reasoning for her actions. Simple jealousy? No, it had to be more than that to be so extreme. "That doesn't make any sense, Trae… Why would she refuse to allow him to search for me if he felt I was alive? That would mean she—"
The ringing intensified; my head swelled with pain, dropping me to my knees. Images overfilled my vision like a swarm of bees, buzzing and chaotic. I couldn't focus my eyes on anything.
"Mère!"
Between Trae calling out for me and the ringing in my ears drowning all other sound, the images kept barging through until there was nothing but the snow I'd always dreamt of. The scenery that haunted my dreams for years. Then the forest came rushing at me, the trees closing in, their shadows long and menacing. I had always avoided that place because it terrified me, and now I was being forced into the thicket, which made me scream.
"Mère?!" Trae's voice barely cut through the chaos. I could feel him taking hold of me, lifting me in his arms in panic as I curled into a ball against him, trying to flee from the pain.
As his voice faded, the forest returned, the snowy landscape playing out in my head like a film. The cold bit into my skin, the crunch of snow underfoot echoing in the silence. Musical instruments played gently in the background as Solomon took my hand to dance, gently pulling me into the center to swirl me around the snow. Light dustings of snow swished beneath our feet as we laughed, our breath visible in the crisp air, taking in everything around us in absolute bliss. An operatic voice, so beautifully strong, hung in the air as I looked to see Diva singing. Amshel enjoyed his glass of wine, admiring the delicate setting of the wedding and listening to their Queen sing. Nathan conducted the symphony for Diva as she danced to his instruction, her movements graceful and ethereal.
"My head is…splitting…!" The pain was overwhelming as the images did not let up. It shifted to another part of the same day, but there was no music, only the sensation of someone stabbing me in the back and clutching my heart. I choked for air, feeling the memory as though it were happening right now, unable to retain my sanity. Trae's hands held onto me, perhaps picking me up and carrying me back to the facility, but as I felt my heartbeat slowing, my words rolled off my tongue, desperate to understand what had happened that day.
"Who…stabbed me?"
"Mère?"
Trae
Questions rolled through his mind as he held his mother in his arms, her body limp and unresponsive. The weight of her frail form was a stark contrast to the strength he knew she possessed. Quickly taking her back to the facility to administer the medication, Konella's words echoed in his mind: "Who…stabbed me?" Panic settled in as he heard her heart slowing, each beat a terrifying reminder of how fragile she was. Bursting through the door, he found Van beside his workbench.
"Monsieur Trae, what has happened?" Van asked quickly, alarmed by the spectacle. "Did she not take the medicine I gave her?"
"It was sudden, I couldn't react quickly enough. We need to administer the medicine now before she goes into shock!" Trae's voice was frantic, his hands trembling as he laid her on a gurney. Van quickly began his procedure but noticed something was amiss with Konella.
"I need the scanner, monsieur, and quickly!"
Doing as instructed, Trae hooked up the monitors. They screamed to life, showing her BPM spiking erratically. Van panicked, trying to administer the medicine quickly through her veins. The needles broke against her skin as she wailed in pain, thrashing about violently.
"Monsieur!"
"Why is this happening?" Trae's voice was desperate as he held her down, wondering what was different about this attack. Van grabbed some restraints, tying her down to try again.
"If this keeps up, she will slip into a coma or die on the spot! I can't pierce her skin, monsieur, I need you to do it."
Trae took another dose, his hands shaking as he managed to inject it safely into Konella's arm. The medicine took immediate effect, her heart rate steadying as things began to regulate. Trae looked to Van, his mind racing with questions about this immense attack.
"What would cause her to have such a seizure? Amnesia cannot cause these kinds of symptoms."
Van hesitated, his eyes darting nervously as he stepped away and grabbed his notes. "…Having studied her for a while now, I don't think amnesia is the only cause." His voice wavered, betraying his uncertainty. "Several times during her blackouts, I noticed she would go into a dream-like state and speak during those times. I've recorded each instance and heard some disturbing words leave her lips…"
"What do you mean?" Trae pressed, sensing Van's reluctance.
"Monsieur, it is most likely that the true cause of her amnesia, for everything she's experienced, is in fact trauma-related." Van's hands shook slightly as he handed over his notes, his face pale with worry.
"Trauma…" Trae murmured quietly, looking at Konella with quiet worry. "She mentioned something before the seizure. Someone stabbing her… Do you think it could be related then?"
"I'm certain of it," Van replied, though his voice lacked conviction, as if he were still grappling with the implications of his findings.
"…I need to report this to my father, Van. Monitor her carefully and be sure she stays stable during my absence."
"I will do everything in my power to make it so," Van said, his voice steadying as he focused on the task at hand.