A/N Beta-read by the awesome i_will_sing_no_requiem.

Three days later, Kate and Sayid picked up the keys to a tiny, two-bedroom, furnished flat in Westlake. Compared to the shelters they had on the beach, or even to the hatch, it seemed like a palace. True, the neighborhood wasn't very nice, and some characters Kate saw on the streets didn't look very friendly, but she didn't care—they both knew how to defend themselves should the need arise. What mattered the most right now was that the place was really cheap.

"It's only temporary, after all," she commented, standing next to Sayid in the middle of a cramped living room. She wasn't exactly sure if she meant the apartment, their little agreement, or both. Nor did she know what Sayid was thinking about when he nodded in agreement.

It didn't take them long to move in, as they still had very few possessions (most of which belonged to Aaron, actually). It took only slightly longer for the media to get bored with the Oceanic Six and move on to some other story, and for their new neighbors to gradually lose interest in Kate and Sayid as well. The justice system, the immigration office or long-lost family members still did not seem to care about their existence. And thus, their life slowly started to fall into a comfortable routine.

Sayid submitted all the necessary documents, but learned that he might have to wait up to several months for a work permit. Somehow, he still managed to find a job as a tile layer helper just a few blocks away. Maybe it wasn't fully legal, but at least it paid the bills. Kate started looking for a babysitter for Aaron so that she could look for a job herself, but none of the candidates inspired trust in her so far. Sadly, she simply couldn't afford professional nannies with excellent references.

"Maybe I should get a job at a strip club, so I can work nights and we can take turns babysitting," she huffed bitterly one evening after another disappointing conversation with a potential babysitter.

Sayid looked up from a toaster he was fixing. Somehow, despite his reserved personality, he already knew at least half of their neighbors, and they in turn knew that he was good at fixing things. It brought additional income, but most of all, it kept Sayid busy. Kate had already noticed back on the island that he hated to be unproductive, and he seemed to enjoy tinkering with various appliances. Sometimes, he would even look around local waste bins for discarded appliances he could fix and sell. She glanced at a battered discman he had brought home and repaired a few days earlier. They had decided to keep it and enjoy some music when Aaron was asleep, as the previous tenants of their little apartment had left behind a few CDs.

"Don't you wish you could do this for a living instead of fixing tiles?" she asked half-jokingly to draw Sayid's attention away from her silly strip club comment.

"I would prefer that, yes. But, as I was recently told, no American will let an Arab tinker with electronics because they're afraid I might build a bomb," came a sarcastic reply.

Kate realized belatedly that the question was even more stupid than her earlier remark. Still, her curiosity took the better of her.

"And could you?"

Sayid put down his screwdriver, and eyed the toaster for a moment, as if considering its potential to be turned into a deadly weapon.

"Technically, I could," he answered seriously. "But without explosives, the mechanism wouldn't do much damage."

Kate nodded, unsure what to do with the acquired knowledge. One thing became clear to her, though: there were some things one shouldn't joke about. She let the topic drop and, instead, she reached back for the list of babysitter candidates, which consisted of three names, all of them already crossed out.

"You know you don't have to do this?" Sayid asked after a moment of silence.

Kate sent him a questioning look.

"Leave Aaron with some stranger and go to work," Sayid clarified. "I can support the three of us."

Kate frowned at him.

"I don't know how things are done in Iraq, but over here, women don't like to be dependent on their… on men," she replied. It came out harsher than she intended, but she hoped that she at least got her meaning across.

For a split second, Sayid looked hurt, but when he spoke again, there was nothing more than sincere concern in his voice.

"I did not mean that you shouldn't work, just that you do not have to. You have enough on your table right now, and Aaron needs your presence, especially after..."

"Plate," Kate interrupted him. "A lot on my plate."

She swallowed hard and averted Sayid's gaze, looking at the window instead to make it just a bit harder for him to read her mind. She wasn't really sure why she felt the sudden burst of irritation at her friend's sincere offer. But slowly, at least some of it began to dawn on her, and she needed some space to digest it.

"I'm sorry," she added in a much softer voice. Then she reached for the discman and shoved the earphones into her ears.

She loved Aaron, there was no doubt about that. Contrary to what she had always believed, she had discovered she had some motherly instinct in her, after all, and it had already started to bloom. Every time she looked at the little boy, his bright smile, big, innocent eyes, and the progress he made day over day, she felt incredible love and pride, while at the same time using it as a constant reminder that there was still so much good the world could offer. On the other hand, however, although she was fast to learn, she still knew much less about childcare than she would like, and sometimes it made her feel as if she was letting Claire down.

Even though she had been right there when Aaron was born, afterward she had only held him once or twice. When both Claire and Charlie had been busy, it had usually been Sun who had been the appointed babysitter, and Kate had never even imagined herself in that position. In fact, she had already been close to calling Sun a few times since their return. She stopped her hand each time, recalling the pain and hurt in her friend's eyes when Sun had told them she had wished to never see them again. (Kate wasn't surprised—she suspected she would have reacted the same. Still, she missed her Korean friend more and more with each passing day.)

Sayid had taken even less interest in Aaron than Kate back on the island. Still, he had a great memory, and Kate discovered he involuntarily registered and remembered a lot of baby-related things Claire and Charlie had said in his presence. However, his help ended with some seemingly random advice he would share almost as an afterthought. The household chores were divided equally between the two of them—or at least that was the deal, but seeing how much Kate was absorbed with her new motherhood duties, Sayid often did more than his share. From Aaron, however, he kept his distance.

It wasn't that Kate expected anything from him. Aaron was her responsibility, one she had voluntarily taken upon herself and one she really enjoyed. She wasn't going to burden her friend with it, especially if he showed no interest in the boy. The problem was that sometimes, she longed for just a slightest fraction of her former freedom, and no matter how it irked her and made her feel guilty, she knew that being a stay-at-home mom wasn't for her in the long run. She had made the decision to stay in one place and devote her life to raising Claire's son, and she was fully prepared to do that. She would, not because of some sense of duty, but simply because she already loved him as if he was her own. She knew, however, that sooner or later, she'd need to get out, at least for a little bit, to do something on her own, to feel just a tiny illusion of her former independence. No matter how much she hated herself for that need, she knew that otherwise, she would finally get stir-crazy, and that wouldn't be good for either of them.

And maybe that was why, irrational as it was, the thought of Sayid willing to support her so that she could spend all her days at home with Aaron upset her so much. Much more, in fact, than the idea of being financially dependent on her friend (although that didn't come easily to her either).

Having come to this conclusion, despite still not having anyone to leave Aaron with, Kate started looking for a job. She could work part-time, in the evenings or even nights, when Aaron was already asleep, she reasoned with herself. The boy was already getting better at sleeping through most of the night, so Sayid wouldn't really have that much of a problem when left alone with him, would he? She meant to ask, but decided to wait until there was a real job opportunity in front of her instead of just mere wishful thinking.

For soon it became apparent that having a baby wasn't really the biggest issue that prevented her from working. What really seemed to make Kate unhirable was the fact that she was still a murder suspect whose face had been in most of the bigger media all across the country. The only places interested in actually hiring her were those whose owners thought her presence would cause a sensation that would bring them more customers, and these were exactly the jobs Kate wanted to avoid. Her still unclear legal situation was also a problem. Local police kept track of her, and on top of everything, she received frequent visits from social workers. She needed to prove she was both an outstanding mother and an upstanding citizen. As a result, for the time being, she had to accept Sayid as the sole breadwinner for their unorthodox little household. She hoped that one day she would be able to pay him back. (She knew she would probably have to hit Sayid over the head, tie him up, and then put the money in his pocket to make him accept it. She was willing and ready to do just that.) Right now, however, she simply had no other choice but to accept his help and be grateful. What made it a bit easier at least, was the fact that Sayid was one of the few people she'd ever met where she could be sure his care came from pure intentions and had no fine-print conditions attached.

Thus, having nothing else to do but stay at home, take care of Aaron (which, on the one hand, she enjoyed, but on the other hand, she gained a new admiration for women who had more than one young child in their care), do household chores and wait for the law's next move, she gradually started to turn into a model housewife. Since Sayid was spending a lot of time at work, she took over most of the cleaning, washing, shopping and cooking, trying to show her gratitude and grant her friend at least some time in the evening to unwind. She recalled the recipes for dishes Kevin used to enjoy (she remembered to avoid those that involved pork), and she grinned like a madwoman the first time she got the apple pie just right. It was a weird change, but—just like she had for those few months she had been playing the role of 'Monica'—she quickly began to enjoy it. She knew this feeling of contentment with peaceful home life wouldn't last, but she still wondered: maybe if her life had turned out differently, she would have been happy as a wife and mother, and would have never known that deep urge to run? ("You are a mother," she reminded herself, because she realized it no longer felt like a lie.)

In the evenings, while Kate put Aaron to sleep, Sayid would do the dishes, even though she kept telling him he didn't have to. Apparently, neither of them was good at dealing with having too much free time on their hands. They weren't particularly fond of mindless flicking through TV channels, and their little apartment had a limited number of things that needed cleaning or fixing. So often, when Aaron was already in bed, they would settle together on the battered couch, open a package of cookies or potato chips, and simply talk.

Kate was surprised at how easy it was for her to talk to Sayid. Maybe it was because they had been together through so much and they had already known each other's darkest secrets, the existence (and disappearance) of the island being one of them. These made all the other, even potentially problematic, topics for conversation pale in comparison. And topics there were in abundance.

As it turned out, even though during those few months on the island they had learned a lot about each other's personality traits, they still knew virtually nothing about each other's everyday lives. Just like on that first evening in her hotel room, when Sayid had surprised her with his fondness for cream-filled sandwich cookies, over the course of the following weeks Kate discovered a lot of new and unexpected things about him, and she was sure he was learning just as much about her.

She discovered that Sayid added lots of sugar to his tea, but his coffee, he preferred bitter, black and strong. While he was very critical of American politics, he enjoyed listening to old American jazz, drumming his fingers on every available surface. He despised mayonnaise so much that Kate found it amusing when he sent her dark glares every time she added gallons of it to her sandwiches. He always folded his laundry right away and piled it into perfect stacks, which, as Kate loved to remind him, was proof that he must have been at least partially an alien. All in all, in Kate's eyes, from a brave, efficient, and loyal ex-soldier with extraordinary intelligence and, at times, a disturbing tendency towards violence, he became a fully rounded person who still managed to surprise her almost on a daily basis. Sometimes, she wondered if the other castaways she had known just as little.

At first, they tried to avoid talking about the island, but with time, it found its way into their conversations anyway. No matter how hard they tried, they still couldn't explain what had exactly happened right in front of their eyes. The only difference was that Kate could actually admit to her defeat, while Sayid still stubbornly tried to apply reason to what had obviously been far beyond anything reason could solve. In these moments, he was strangely similar to Jack, which Kate didn't like one bit. Luckily, this was where the similarities ended. Sayid was stubborn, yes, but he was not impulsive (at least not often), and he was willing to at least consider her arguments.

"And what if they're still waiting for us?" she asked one evening as she slid down the couch with a bag of animal crackers in her hand.

She was tired, sleep-deprived and irritated because Aaron had an upset stomach while she had just gotten her period. Now, when the boy had finally settled down and dozed off, she knew she should use that precious time to take care of herself, take a shower, maybe even make her bed and attempt to nap. It all, however, required energy which, at the moment, she didn't possess. Lounging on the couch and munching on animal crackers was the second-best thing she could do, she decided. And since Sayid was already there, she might as well share the snack with him and try to coax him into the conversation she knew would bring them no answers and no respite. On days like this, it was simply too hard for her mind to take control, and her emotions immediately started flowing to the surface. She wasn't looking for answers, not really; she just needed to voice her doubts, and Sayid was the only one she could safely share them with.

Her friend looked up from some technical magazine he had been flipping through and sent her a quizzical glance. Kate chose not to say anything. She knew there was no need for clarifications. Sayid's look didn't ask "What do you mean?", but rather it stated: "This conversation is pointless; why do you start it again?". They had been through it several times, and they both already knew their roles in the argument.

"Kate." Sayid finally sighed, realizing he wouldn't be able to avoid the conversation. "You saw exactly the same thing as I did. The island sank to the bottom of the ocean. None could have survived it."

He sounded like an exasperated parent after needing to explain the same thing for the thousandth time. (Would he sound the same when explaining things to Aaron? No, she was getting way ahead of herself. In a few years, maybe even months, they could be living two separate lives. They could even be in two different parts of the world… actually, she could be watching that world from behind bars.)

"And you really think it was some sort of bomb? We didn't hear an actual explosion."

Sayid nodded his head, but this time, when he answered, it sounded like a student reciting the lesson he had learned by heart.

"We were quite far away, the helicopter's engines were loud, and the explosion on the freighter could have deafened us. The charge must have been placed deep underneath the island; otherwise, it would not destroy it the way it did. And the shockwave probably rolled over us after the helicopter landed in the water."

Sayid always stopped right there, as if having reached a point when his arguments began to sound too unbelievable even to his own ears. Kate, although unconvinced, had no counterargument of her own, which usually led to a stalemate. This time, however, she wasn't yet ready to give up.

"And what if Locke really somehow moved it?" No matter how often she repeated it, the idea still sounded equally outlandish. Still, Kate raised her chin and sent Sayid a defiant look.

"We both know it is not possible."

Sayid's voice was surprisingly gentle now. Apparently, he had already learned to read her mood—and Kate wasn't sure if she found it more heartwarming or infuriating.

"Whatever Locke thought..." Sayid continued, but Kate interrupted him.

"Sentient black smoke and whispers in a jungle with no people nearby should be equally impossible," she pointed out.

Sayid closed his mouth, and Kate thought that this should have been her cue to smile triumphantly, but what would that change? Her friend was right; they had both seen the same thing. And no matter how they chose to explain it (or not explain it), the end result was still the same: the island had disappeared from the face of the earth, and there was no magic solution to miraculously make it reemerge from the depths of the ocean.

The conversation, which had been pointless from the start, ended as quickly as it started. Sayid didn't return to his magazine, though, but was still staring with an empty gaze at the animal crackers on the table in front of them. Kate could tell that her friend's mind was miles away. In fact, it wasn't hard to tell where it actually was. Still, she reached for the bag and put it right under his nose with an encouraging smile. Although they weren't his favorite Oreos, Sayid eagerly took a handful. Things were again good between them.

They rarely had arguments, even as benign as this one. In fact, Kate was surprised at how well their spontaneous arrangement had been working so far. She had expected that rather than living together, they would be leading parallel lives. After all, they were both loners through and through. But as it turned out, common experiences and common secrets—maybe even the same emptiness they both felt inside—brought them closer together. Neither of them had any family or friends, and they both had long forgotten what it had been like to have a home. But instead, as Kate had feared, soon going their separate ways like they normally would, they had been slowly starting to learn how to function in that new reality in which they were working as a weird sort of team.

Just like Jack, Sayid was a protector and a caretaker by nature. Kate had known it for a long time. With each passing day, however, she became more and more aware that this was a completely different type of care than the one Jack had accustomed her to. Sayid would offer his help, but would never try to force it upon her when she told him she would rather deal with things alone. He never tried to interfere or make decisions for her, even when he actually had some right to do so, since, after all, he was the one who paid the bills. He was a huge help for her in many ways, but he acted like it was the most natural thing in the world, putting Kate at ease without even trying. He simply knew how to offer assistance in a way that didn't undermine her independence. And when Kate tried to express her gratitude, he would simply answer that it was in fact her who did a favor to him by offering him company, a purpose, and the feeling of being needed.

The answer could have been simply a courtesy, but somehow, Kate had no doubts as to it being true. After all, she remembered Sayid's level of devotion when he had worked hard to make their little island community's life easier, not only fighting the Others and looking for ways to communicate with the outside world, but also making sure everyone had drinking water or firewood. Back then, already aware of who he had been in his previous life, Kate suspected it could have been some sort of self-imposed penance. Now, she realized it was simply a part of who he was. His personality trait, probably only enhanced by all he had been through in his life, maybe also the society and culture he had grown up in. She vaguely recalled reading some article about the differences between individual and collective societies, and the better she knew Sayid, the more she became aware of cultural differences she had never considered before. They both still had something to learn in that regard. Sayid was sometimes shocked by aspects of America that were perfectly natural to her, while she was surprised by the various things she discovered about his world. Not the big religious or political stuff the media tried to shove down people's throats, but little, seemingly unimportant, but strangely fascinating facts, for example how crazy Arabs were about tea.

Was it possible, she asked herself sometimes, that some cultural differences unknown to her were also behind the fact that Sayid still avoided any interaction with Aaron? He didn't seem nervous or awkward in the very few and far between moments when circumstances forced him to pick up the boy, hold his bottle or give him his pacifier. However, he did that only when it was obvious that Kate really needed his help. At first, she thought Sayid simply wasn't fond of children. She could understand that—in fact, there had been a time, not that long ago, when she was similarly reserved towards them. With time, however, she started to suspect that the issue wasn't really rooted in dislike. She noticed, for example, that while Sayid didn't interact with the baby himself all that much, he often watched her take care of Aaron from afar, and there was not only visible interest, but also a trace of tenderness in his eyes. He looked concerned when the boy cried, often asked Kate how Aaron was, if he slept well, and if he was in a good mood. It might have been just simple courtesy, but sometimes Kate could swear that there was something more. Still, she made sure to pretend she didn't notice. It was no business of hers, and besides, Sayid had become an important part of her life and the closest thing she had to a family. It was not worth jeopardizing it only to satisfy her curiosity, after all.