Here's a request from moonrose221 who wanted me to take a crack at what Calamity's family life would be like, preferably with him talking. Well, here it is.
Rated K Plus for Cartoon Humor throughout.
Hello fellow readers, I am Calamity Coyote, a boy genius for hire. I can do any job for a price, but my story here is anything, but business. In fact, I have a crazy personal family life so to speak. When I was born, I happen to meet Little Beeper, for whom my parents adopted as another son, since his biological mom abandoned him as an egg. Probably to get away from some hungry coyote, but who knows? All I know from that crazy story was that Little Beeper is officially my adoptive brother, and as all brothers do, we get into fights. And they always end the same way: with Little Beeper getting the victory over me again and again and again. Our parents have tried breaking up our fights, but Little Beeper is too fast for them, which means I usually take the groundings from them. My punishment? Well, "Your punishment will be to try to catch Little Beeper," said my father, "We can't do it, because he's too fast for us." "But how can I do it?" I asked, "He's too fast for me as well.", "You're smart, you figure it out," my father replied, "Now get to it!", "Yes father." I reluctantly agreed, and so without saying another word, I go looking for Little Beeper.
Little Beeper has always on the run from me ever since we were born. And since he's too fast to outrun, I have to outthink him. Luckily for me, I have my Acme Unlimited charge card, which I use to make my purchases for all things Acme. Yes, our rivalry is almost identical to Wile E Coyote's and the Roadrunner's rivalry, but it differs from that rivalry in many ways. For one, it hardly ever takes place in a desert, as Acme Acres is far from the American desert. Another reason that unlike Wile, who is always obsessed with catching the Roadrunner, I'm more reluctant to try to catch him, but I do it anyway, because that's what my father wishes for me to do, so I could take Little Beeper home for my father to discipline. And three, I can't eat Little Beeper, not because I have a difficult time catching him mind you; it's because we're family, and good families don't eat each other. Anyway, back to the story. I continued to use many Acme products to try and catch my adoptive brother, and one by one they failed due to my gross incompetence, as my failed lawsuit against Acme has proven; which we won't discuss, because it's not related to my family life. I made many more attempts at catching Little Beeper with many failed attempts using Acme products, such as a catapult, a cannon, even the old snare trap. I almost gave up trying to catch him, but unlike The Roadrunner, Little Beeper is a good sport. He decided to return home with me. As we both got home, my parents were waiting for us to get back home the entire time. "Where have you two been?!", my mother asked, "We were so worried about you two?!" I was about to speak, but my father interrupted me by yelling at us. "Your mother is worried sick about you two! For putting her through this emotional trauma you two are grounded for two weeks! Now go to your room!", we both hang our heads down in shame and head upstairs to our room.
As we got there, I sat in my bed as Little Beeper sits in his nest. "You know," I said to Little Beeper, "This wouldn't have happened if you'd stayed here and taken your punishment!" All Little Beeper could say was, "Meep meep!", which always sounds so insulting to me because it reminded me of my constant failures to catch him. Still, the grounding was worth it, because he got grounded with me. And you may say that is that, right? Wrong! Because Little Beeper never learned his lesson, and it always ended the same way again, and again. and again. It was frustrating for moreso for me than it was for Little Beeper, because he always seems to enjoy it more than I did. Oh well, I guess it is the price you pay for having an annoying adoptive brother who is faster than me and my parents. Maybe someday, I will catch him, but until that day comes, I will always promise to keep our family together, no matter how many times I get grounded for it. So now you know how my personal family life goes on. It's not perfect, but I wouldn't have it any other way that how it is now.
It may be short and sweet, but I did get the gist of what Calamity's family life is like. Hope it's to your liking moonrose221. Anyway, feel free to roast it, or toast it, and that's goes for all my readers as well. See you next chapter.