This is my first completely original fanfiction idea that has been in the works for like over a year now. I hope you all enjoy it!

It was just after midnight when Naruto opened the door to his home, the small apartment staying dark as he entered as he couldn't bring himself to flip the switch near the door. Naruto sighed heavily and slipped off his sandals from pure muscle memory, then let his supply pack slide off his shoulders. It fell straight to the floor with a dull thud on the doorway mat. He raised a hand and rubbed his eye with his palm, and then his other hand joined in on rubbing his other eye as his rubbing got more aggressive. Unfortunately, it did little to reduce the tired, worn out feeling in them, or clear his mind from his troubles.

He had just returned to the Konoha after almost a month being out on a mission with Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji to act as a security detail for his friend Garaa's trip back to his village. It was completely unnecessary in his opinion. He knew that Garaa was still insanely strong even without his tailed beast Shukaku. But, it was done as a gesture of good will between their villages. That, and Granny Tsunade thought he should tag along to enjoy catching up with his friend after so long, which he did. Shikamaru also seemed to be a bit more enthusiastic than his usual lazy-self to be on the mission as well when they met up with Temari halfway.

Overall, it should have been a really easy mission. And it was... but something happened that Naruto definitely wasn't expecting. Nor expected it to really ever happen honestly.

Naruto groaned, dropping his hands to his sides limply as he walked deeper into his apartment. He just wanted to go to sleep to forget everything about his mission. Forget everything about it. Only problem is that sleep has been rather hard to achieve for him recently…

Naruto shuffled out of his apartment's entryway, making his way towards his kitchen. He thought maybe some water or food would help just get him to feel normal again, even though he didn't really want any. He made it all the way to his fridge, but as he reached for the handle he froze. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck and arms stand up. His gut was telling him that something was wrong. He instinctively tried to follow his gut's warning and leap out of the way. Unfortunately it had warned him too late and his reaction was a second too slow. He saw a flash of movement from what looked like a pair of arms in front of his face before he was put in a rear naked choke instantly.

Naruto reached up to the arm to try and pull them away from his neck, only to make little headway with it. The assailant behind him wasn't necessarily stronger than him, but they had the hold locked in. The arm squeezing his neck had gripped onto the bicep of their other arm and they were not letting go anytime soon. He did however get it to squeeze down on his throat less and he could breathe easier. And now that the moment of surprise had passed, he knew to fight back.

Naruto first threw his upper body forward, and as he felt his assailant being lifted up onto his back, Naruto fired his right elbow backwards at them. Their arms loosened and they rolled to the left, sliding off Naruto's back to avoid the blow, though Naruto still felt them block his strike with probably their hand. Now free of the hold, Naruto lashed with a backhanded, closed fist out to his left, ready to go on the offensive. Unfortunately for him, he didn't connect with anything. However, something did connect with his legs and they were swept out from under him. Naruto landed on his side and before he could register his new position, the weight of his assailant was back on top of him. This time, on his stomach. Hands reached out and pinned Naruto's wrists to the floor in an iron strong grip.

Naruto was about to attempt to break free, but the sound of excited laughter filling his apartment made him freeze. The thing that made him freeze is that the laugh was familiar to him. VERY familiar. "ANKO?!"

"Hahaha yup! Ya got it in one gaki~, good job!"

Now with a moment to focus, Naruto's eyes locked onto the dark shape sitting on him and pinning him down. In the dark room, he could finally make out some details. Yup, there was no definitely no mistaking it now. The purple hair in the usual spiky ponytail, the tan overcoat and orange skirt, the wicked smirk, the teasing voice. It was definitely Anko Mitarashi. Only thing that was missing was the mesh she usually wore underneath and her shin guard sandals. Instead she had on just a plan black tank top on that did a great job of hugging her upper body.

"What are you doing?!" Naruto still continued to struggle, but it was no longer with the ferocity of a fight for his life. Now it was solely out of annoyance.

"Well what does it look like? I'm pinning you, so it seems I won."

"Won what?"

"Our little exercise just now. You did good breaking out of that first hold quickly, but still too slow on the follow up. Looks like I need to push you harder in your training. Did you get all rusty on your little sandy vacation?"

Naruto stopped his fidgeting and fell still. "No, I didn't."

"No? You sure? I was really looking forward to… polishing you off tonight~." Anko's hands released their grip on Naruto's wrist to slide down his arms and to his chest. She started rubbing her fingertips in tiny circles on his chest while making her lower half softly grind down on his abs, scooting backwards as she did to get closer to his waist. "Really rub away all that dirt and crap you got on you in Suna~? Huh, does that sound good?"

Despite her motions, Naruto didn't look her in the eye. He felt like he couldn't. "Not tonight Anko."

Anko absolutely did NOT whine at hearing Naruto mumble out those words, but she clearly wasn't thrilled about them. "Awwww come on Naru-chan! I've been pent up all month since you left! It'll help us both unwind! Do I need to beg for you?" She bent her upper half down and pressed her large chest into Naruto's. She made sure to push down a good bit to give a nice squish to them before whispering in a sultry tone for Naruto to hear, "Cause if that's the case, let's go to the bedroom first so I can at least make it sexier for you~."

Naruto lightly moving his hands to hers to get them to stop their rubbing made her freeze. They were… almost frail with how gentle they gripped her own hands. "Anko please, just… not tonight. I'm not in the mood…"

Naruto's grip on her hands wasn't forceful. It could barely even be considered a grip honestly. But the defeated tone in his voice still made Anko stop what she was doing. It almost sounded… broken. And that was something that she never thought could ever describe the optimistic ray sunshine that was always seeing the best in people and never giving up. Something wasn't right.

"Hey… gaki, what's the deal?" With her frisky and sexual tone completely gone, Anko dismounted from Naruto's waist, going from straddling him to kneeling beside him, but she didn't take her hands away from his own. "You seem off. Did something happen on your mission?"

Naruto slowly started sitting up. Anko helped him with it as soon as she realized what he was doing. She let go with one hand and rested it on his shoulder. But Naruto didn't speak. He just hung his head and kept looking at the floor between his legs.

"Hey… Okay, now I know something is definitely wrong. What is it?" Silence met her, so she continued. "Naruto, you're seriously starting to worry me… What happened? Why do you seem so depressed?"

Naruto mumbled his response, hanging his head even lower as he did. In the complete stillness of the apartment however, Anko could easily make out what he said.

"I killed someone."

Anko hadn't been expecting something like that to make Naruto this upset, but she also hadn't been expecting that. It didn't make much sense to her at all. Why would something like that affect him so much? They were shinobi, killing was basically an unspoken occupational requirement…

…

…wait.

"Naruto, have you neve-" A brisk shake of his answered her question before she even finished it. Now, that actually did shock the snake mistress. To be a shinobi for as long as Naruto had been, not to mention all the things he'd been through specifically and to NOT have taken a life yet? Anko had never heard of something like this happening before. Usually, a shinobi's first kills were gotten within a team's first few C or B rank missions. But she pushed all of those thoughts aside for now, she had other things to focus on currently. "Naruto… please tell me what happened. I know you don't want to, but I can't help you much if you don't…"

Naruto looked over to her after she said that, and Anko saw his eyes thankfully weren't void of emotion like his voice, but they definitely held a lot of sadness. Sadness and guilt, something she had seen a lot of in her fellow leaf shinobi's eyes through the years. The blonde exhaled loudly through his nose and moved a bit to sit back against the nearest wall, and Anko quickly joined him on his right. He brought his knees in a little more and rested his forearms on them. Then he began to speak.

"It was when we were almost to Suna. We had been taking the trip easy, so the trip was taking like an extra day or two. We were almost out of the land of fire when some bandits tried to rob us. There were a lot of them, but they weren't really that threatening. None of them looked that dangerous, at least not for any of us…" Naruto lifted his head back up to look at the opposite wall instead of the floor. "We tried to warn them. That they should just walk away. Any one of us could have taken them all, let alone all four of us. They… didn't listen."

Anko took this moment to actually put her arm around Naruto's shoulder, trying to give him comfort as he fell silent. After a moment of that silence, he continued. "They attacked, we fought, and we were immediately knocking them down and out. They had like 30, maybe 40 people or something, but they were all going down in like one or two hits. Only a few of them seemed to even know any kind of jutsu. Then… this guy tried to attack Choji from behind with a sword, so I stopped him by kicking him away and… I-I don't know. I don't think I hit him that hard, b-but I wasn't really paying attention either. He flew into a tree a-and…" Naruto's voice broke a little bit, but he just swallowed and continued. "T-there was this loud c-crack, and I-I think he tried to scream, but it was only this like wheeze. When he hit the ground, he just laid there… twitching. It was like he was trying to move, but just… couldn't. Then h-he looked at me and I saw his eyes. They looked scared, like he didn't know what was happening. I watched him, twitching and wheezing until blood came out of his mouth. He looked me in the eyes the whole time. Then he just stopped. He died. Maybe I could have helped him, but I couldn't move. All I did was watch him as he kept twitching. All I did was watch him… die."

Anko was holding Naruto tighter now. She could feel each shake of his breath rattle his chest. The shaking in his voice made it worse. The more he talked, the more it seemed like he was just folding into himself, like he was trying to make himself smaller. She kept her arm around his shoulders and reached over with her free right hand and lightly placed it on his. "What happened after the fight?"

"I-I'm not too sure. I was just frozen there, staring at him for the rest of it I guess. Gaara and Shikamaru actually had to cover my back when some of the last bandits tried to attack me. A-after that, the rest just ran off. And that was it. After things settled down, I asked Ino to look at the bandit. I don't know, maybe there was still a way to help him. She tried, but there was no use. I'm not sure if it was from my kick or from hitting the tree, but she said his spine was broken and his ribs had been crushed into his lungs. He was gone. We just… went on our way after that. We got to Suna by the next day. While we were in Suna, I was eventually able to stay focused on other things during the day, but every night I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was a long two weeks…"

Naruto stopped, trying to see if Anko was going to join in. However, she just kept hugging him, rubbing his shoulder slowly while waiting patiently for him to continue whenever he was ready. After a few more minutes of silence and thinking about what he wanted to say, he did continue. "Then on the way back… we were passing by where we were ambushed before, and all the unconscious people we left behind were gone… but that guy's body was still there. They didn't bother to move him. He was still just laying there. Some animals or something probably had gotten to him since parts of him were gone or ripped up, but he was still there. A-and… t-that really messed with me." Naruto felt the same sick feeling he had when he saw the body in his stomach return. "Why was he just left there? Is that really how his life was supposed to go? To be left dead on the side of a path in some random forest? What life did he have? What did I take away from him, or take him away from? And then we just kept going, again! Like we were too good to waste any time on the guy that I… that I… killed…"

Naruto's shoulders started shaking all over again as he felt guilt flood his body. He felt sick. Sick with himself for what he did. Then also sick and angry for feeling like he was making this all about himself when a man was dead because of him! He was sick, angry, tired, and just so… so…!

Anko, almost being able to sense the downward spiral Naruto was taking, interjected. "Naruto, I know you feel guilty, but you can't blame yourself for this… You probably did everything someone in your place could have done. You gave them a warning, you were trying to hold back. But killing… it's not something that can be avoided with what we do for our village."

Naruto snapped his head up and locked eyes with her, a glare burning through the emotionless stare on his face. "So I'm just supposed to be okay with this then?!"

Anko wasn't fazed in the slightest by him snapping at her or the anger in his glare. "No. I didn't say that. But you can't break yourself down whenever this does happen. There isn't always another option. And sometimes it's the option you choose by accident. Would you rather have had your friend Choji die instead?

"Of course not!"

"Then what about yourself? Do you wish he killed you instead?"

"N-no!"

Anko grabbed Naruto's shoulders and forced him to turn his upper body completely to fully face her. She let go with her right hand and moved it to grab his jaw with her thumb and two fingers. It wasn't rough, but it definitely forced Naruto to look directly at her. "Well I guarantee you that those bandit shits thought the same thing, but about themselves. However, they probably weren't holding back and were absolutely trying to kill you. At the very least they thought that your stuff was worth attacking you over. That's a choice they made, and then they got to face the consequences for it. They chose the wrong target, but they had probably chosen plenty of easy ones before they got to you. And the ones that got away will probably attack even more people. Could that guy maybe have had a family waiting for him? Sure. But how many people or families had he hurt himself? He was a bandit trying to steal and attack you and you chose to defend yourselves. You didn't start the fight, you just won it. Will some people that knew the guy hold it against you for killing him? Probably. They'll probably blame you for as long as they live. But I guarantee you that I would feel the exact same way if someone managed to take you away from me. It's just how people are. I know you believe in forgiveness. Giving out second chances and seeing the good in everyone you meet, but the world doesn't always agree with that, and people definitely don't."

Anko let go of his jaw and softly slid her hand back to cup the base of his head behind his neck. "But you didn't want to hurt them. You are still a good person. You just made a decision to protect the people you care about over the people trying to hurt them, and there isn't anything wrong with that. You feel guilty because of how good of a person you are. I won't tell you to stop feeling sorry, I know you better than that. But I won't let you think that you're some kind of monster because of what you had to do, especially when it was an accident ."

Naruto did hear what she was saying, and her words did help him put the whole thing into perspective. He obviously knew protecting his friends mattered more to him than the guy trying to hurt them. But that didn't mean he felt any better. How could he? Would he? Would he ever feel the way he used to before the mission?

"Okay, come on you cute, brooding mess. Up, up, up." Naruto didn't have any chance to argue or question what Anko meant before she pulled him straight up to his feet and practically dragged him through his apartment by his hand. In seconds, she had navigated them both through the apartment into Naruto's bedroom. Despite the darkness, she didn't bump them into anything, attesting to how much time she had spent at the Uzumaki residence. "Okay gaki, strip down to get comfortable and get in the bed."

Naruto almost scowled, but kept his annoyance down to just a sharp tone. "Anko, I already told you I'm not in the mood!"

Anko didn't seem bothered by his tone at all as she slipped off her overcoat. "And neither am I! At least not now. That's why I said get 'comfortable', not naked. Get down to just some shorts and topless or in a tee with no bottoms, whatever. Just get that dirty old sweatsuit off and get in the bed." She walked over to Naruto's dresser and slid open a drawer. Without asking, she started rifling through Naruto's clothes. She began digging through all of the garments in the drawer, tossing things aside and out of the dresser, until she pulled out one of his black shirts with the leaf village flame on it. She gave it a quick sniff and nodded when she decided it was clean. She blindly tossed it over her shoulder at Naruto, hitting him in the face softly.

"Anko what the hell!? Why are you going through my clothes!?"

"I'm trying to find some comfier clothes for us."

"Wait, us?!"

"Well yeah. I'm not leaving you alone like this, I got a plan to get your mind off things. And trust me, while I know that this outfit rocks, especially on me, it isn't exactly what I prefer to sleep in." Anko bent over and pulled up a pair of Naruto's shorts under her skirt before she undid its buckle and let the orange fabric slip off her waist to the floor. "And since we won't be messing around tonight, I'm not going nude. Now should I say 'you're welcome' or 'you're loss' since you know you're missing out~?"

Naruto just sighed and gave in, then started to slip out of his clothes and into the shirt and shorts that had been tossed to (or rather on) him. He knew arguing would just make the night last longer and he honestly did just want to sleep.

After he finished pulling down his shirt, he heard Anko groan quietly. He looked up to see Anko already changed and leaning backwards in a deep stretch. She was likely doing it purposefully as it caused her form to stretch out his shirt that she was "borrowing". It was already a bit short on her, being that her boobs pushed it out a good amount, but her bending backwards caused it to lift up past her navel, showing a tease of her toned stomach. And she knew what she was doing from the brief smirk he saw before her head tipped back as well.

"Aaaaalright, time for some shuteye!" The woman swiftly hopped into Naruto's bed in just two long strides, plopping down on the sheet before squirming underneath them. She sighed and sat back up, hands behind her head while she looked over to Naruto. "Come on Naruto. You need to get some sleep too."

Naruto's feet padded over the wooden floor much more slowly than Anko's to crawl into the bed. He lifted one edge of the blanket up, just to be yanked into them by Anko grabbing the collar of his shirt. During a brief struggle, Naruto whispered sharply, "Anko! What was that for!?"

"You were taking too long! Now, don't fight. Just lay down and relax right here on me." Anko firmly guided him next to her. She guided his left arm behind her back and his right hand to her stomach looking at him expectantly as she did. Naruto easily went along with what she was doing now that he could see what she was getting at. It… it sounded really nice right now.

Naruto was about to lower the rest of his body down to the mattress, sliding the arm she put behind her up and under his pillow to be more comfortable, but then stopped when a thought crossed his mind. "I only have one pillow…"

"No you don't. Come here." Anko's hands rested on Naruto's head and laid down completely. Before Naruto could even get a word out, he found his head resting right on top of Anko's chest. 'Soft', was the first thought that went through his mind, like it usually was whenever he touched her boobs.

"As comfy as always right~? No copping a feel tonight though. I don't need you getting me all worked up again after I've already had to reel myself in once. And no arguing about this either. Just be quiet and get comfortable. You had… you deserve some rest Naruto."

The tone in Anko's voice gave Naruto the impression that he was to agree and leave it at that. And he decided he would.

…

…

For about ten seconds before he spoke up, "Can you at least get off my arm a bit so I don't wake up with a dead limb?"

"Oops. Sure."

After a little rearranging, the two were finally settled in, now in both as comfortable as they could get. Naruto's head was still resting on Anko's chest, which was non-negotiable, but his left arm that she had accidentally laid down on was now tucked up under the pillow that she was using. His right hand was still resting on Anko's stomach, which had her left hand resting on top of it. And as for her other hand? Well, that was caressing Naruto's head as it laid on her chest and was slowly playing with his hair. Anko had also started listing off all the good things about him that she could at some point, probably.

"And your pranks make me laugh like nothing else. That shit you did to Hatake a few months ago? Freaking inspired."

Naruto chuckled as he remembered how he had pranked Kakashi-sensei. He had dyed all of his masks and for one glorious hour, Kakashi Hatake walked around the village with a bright, eye burning shade of green mask. All without a single clue about thanks to the dissolving dye he covered them up with to make them look normal before putting them back. It was made even better because he went through the shopping district to get to the hokage's office! It wasn't until Shizune said something about his style change that he finally noticed! It was totally worth the 100 laps he had to run around the training grounds.

"So is this you finally admitting that I'm the better prankster?"

Anko playfully pulled on a small tuff of Naruto's hair at that."Don't put words in my mouth Gaki, or I'll kick you out of this bed."

"But this is my bed!"

"Not if I kick you out of it. Then it's mine. But if you behave, you won't have to worry about it will you?"

"Yes ma'am."

Anko chuckled to herself and went back to playing with his hair in small circles with her fingers. She was really glad trying to distract him seemed to be working. She hoped it was enough to keep the nightmares away for a night. She had become so jaded to the idea of having to kill someone that it was hard for her to remember how it felt at her first kill, but she knew it wasn't easy for Naruto. He loved and cherished every life. But this was a harsh reality that was likely inevitable for people like them. She just hoped she could help him get through it.

"Anko… love you."

The quietest whisper roared through the silence of Naruto's room. Anko heard it loud and clear as it also made goosebumps form on her arms and heat rise to her face that she fought down quickly. She quickly glanced down at her man, only to see him steadily breathing and not even remotely paying attention to her. After a minute of just watching him, she realized he was asleep!

'What th- You asshole! Saying something like that for the first time in your sleep! What am I supposed to do with that infonow?!' After a pause and deep breath to collect herself, Anko sighed. She'd let it slide only so that he could get caught up on some needed rest, but she was going to prank him to the five elemental nations and back for that heart attack he gave her WHILE ASLEEP! So, with the lightest dusting of pink on her cheeks, she whispered down to Naruto in a soft whisper, "Rest up Gaki, tomorrow I'm taking you to old man Yamanaka to get yourself looked over properly."

…

…

And then she followed it up with an even quieter whisper, so quiet Anko wasn't completely sure if she actually said anything audible or if she was just thinking it, "And I love you too gaki."

A/N: Sooooo I've had this idea for a fanfic for a long time, AND I FINALLY FINISHED IT! I have struggled a lot getting this written, but recently I said screw my lack of motivation, I'm going to work on this little by little! And I did it! It took weeks of doing it just a few sentences at a time and then back tracking, but one huge push last night got me to the finish line finally! I hope you all enjoyed this sweet story idea I had.

This story will also be up on my Archive of our Own and Tumblr accounts as well soon under the same title in case you want to save it on there as well. Those account links are below.

Archive of Our Own: /users/JustinEverything

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