Chapter 12 - The wolf's lament
"Where were you for the past few days?" Sirius asked, and Remus noticed James eyeing the fresh wounds on his body.
"And what happened to you?" James asked, fixing the glasses perched upon his nose.
"Did someone hurt you!?" Peter squeaked, concern for his friend evident in his voice. The three of them came closer to Remus, making him uncomfortable and desperate for an excuse.
"Erm…" Remus said quietly, shuffling his feet awkwardly, "My Mum is still sick…" Sirius, James, and Peter looked at Remus with a disbelieving look on their faces. "She got more sick… so sick actually I don't know if I'll see her again…"
"I don't think so… You're hiding something!" screeched Sirius, walking uncomfortably close to Remus.
"W-what? I don't know what you're talking about… My mum's just really sick, that's all…"
"Sure Remus… Sure…" James said, his expression one of anger, and a bit of confusion as well. Remus backed up, his heart hammering against his chest.
Suddenly, Sirius ripped Remus' sleeve, revealing a large set of scars that he had done to himself. He couldn't help but stifle back a wail.
"Did your Mom do that to you?" Peter cried out, coming really close to observe the horrid scars across Remus' arm.
"What! Um.. Actually… well…" Remus said, now extremely desperate for a reasonable excuse. My friends are going to find out! Remus thought, and his heart began beating so fast that Remus thought his heart would jump out of his chest, and run away.
"Actually…" Sirius began, a hint of mockery in his voice, "I think I know how you got those…"
"Yeah! I just…" Remus began but Sirius cut him off.
"You did that to yourself…"
"Wait, what? No, your mistaken-"
"With your teeth… With your fangs…"
Remus couldn't help but wail in horror as his three friends pulled out their wands, pointing the tips of them towards Remus.
"Werewolf!" James screeched, a look of betrayal in his face. He edged towards Remus, his teeth clenched.
"Please! I can explain!" Remus cried, and hot tears began streaming down his face as his friends edged closer and closer.
"No," said Sirius, his gray gaze cold and dark. "You're a werewolf… I can't believe we were ever friends with you!"
"Peter?" Remus said desperately, looking his friend in the eye and hoping for at least one person on his side, but Peter shook his head.
Suddenly, Remus felt the urge to run, he sprang up, and bolted out the door, and ran into the empty corridors. He wasn't surprised to see Sirius, James, and Peter chasing closely behind him.
Remus had to stop running when he ran into a dead end. He turned around and Sirius was in the lead, his eyes full of hatred.
"You can't run now, werewolf…" Remus' stomach clenched, and he felt as though he just wanted to disappear and never come back.
Sirius, James, and Peter lifted their wands towards Remus, and he huddled against the wall, pleading with them to stop… Suddenly, James whispered something, and a sudden pain shot through Remus…
Remus sat bolt upright, panting and feeling the hammering of his heart against his chest. He looked down and saw his fingers violently trembling, and his bed was wet, probably a mix of tears and sweat…
"Remus?" Sirius whispered from somewhere in the room, an edge of concern to his voice. Remus heard him walking towards the bed, though Remus couldn't really see him because it was so dark.
"Hmm?" Remus grunted, trying to keep his voice steady.
"You ok?" James said and Remus turned and saw him standing next to Remus' bed, and soon Peter was sitting up in his bed.
"Fine, everythings fine…" Remus lied, and quickly rubbed his face to remove any traces of a problem.
"You sure?" James asked gently, and Remus knew that there was no hiding from his friends.
"Oh… Erm… Just a little nightmare…"
"Sounds about right," Sirius said, "you were thrashing in your sleep…"
"What were you dreaming about anyways?" James asked and Remus tried to think of some common nightmare people had so his friends wouldn't judge him.
"I was… Erm… Drowning?" Remus said, and was surprised to see sympathetic looks coming from his three friends.
"Common nightmare," James agreed, nodding his agreement.
"Yeah," said Sirius, "My brother Regulus gets those dreams a lot,".
"Wait!" Peter squeaked from his bed, "You have a brother!?" Remus looked at him and realized that he didn't really realize that Sirius had a brother.
"Yeah? I never told you guys?" Sirius said, as though he were surprised his best friends didn't know about his brother.
"Nope!" exclaimed Peter, and Sirius began explaining how his brother was going to be in Hogwarts next year, and how he was "a brat".
After a while of talking about Regulus, the clock bell rang, signaling the start of breakfast. Remus quickly changed out of his night wear, and hurried down to breakfast.
When there he spotted Kinglsey Shacklebolt at the side of the room, and Remus realized he didn't sit with him in forever, and he couldn't help feeling bad about abandoning his friend.
Just when he was going to walk to sit with Kinglsey, Sirius tugged him by his arm, leading him to a different table.
Remus and his three friends ate eggs and toast, which Peter gobbled down like a wolf eating its prey.
Suddenly, a shrill scream came from somewhere, and everyone turned around, wondering where the noise was coming from. Remus quickly realized that someone was screaming in excitement. What's so exciting? He thought.
Suddenly, a short boy came running into the room, waving his arms. "It's snowing!" he exclaimed, clearly out of breath, "come see!"
Right away everyone shot out of their seats, running outside to see the snow.
Remus hurried out as well, staring in awe at the soft looking floor of white. Everyone started jumping into the snow, rolling around, and began making snowballs.
"Come on!" exclaimed James, excitement gleaming in his amber gaze, "Let's go join them!"
"But we're not wearing jackets or anything… We're going to get a cold…" Peter noted, shuffling his feet a bit.
"Let's not waste our time on that," argued Sirius, and Remus could see he was shivering a little bit, and crossing his arms.
Peter just mumbled as Sirius and James took off, running through the luxurious snow, and laughing as though they'd never seen anything greater.
"Come on!" James exclaimed, throwing a snowball at Remus, "Join us!"
Remus had to admit, it was extremely tempting, seeing his friends frolicing in the snow. He couldn't help but join in on the fun.
Remus turned around and saw Lily and her friends building some detailed snow sculptures, covered with intricate detail.
Sirius was now looking at one of the girls, though Remus couldn't pinpoint which one, and he had a strange look on his face…
"Come on Sirius!" called James, who had already made an impressive pile of snowballs, "come on!"
Sirius hurried over, and began making snow balls as well. Remus began helping, though the snow was freezing, and Remus felt his fingers beginning to go numb.
"I'm cold…" Peter said, his teeth chattering. He began rubbing his body with his hands.
"We just got out!" Sirius exclaimed, an edge of annoyance in his voice. "Come on, we got enough snow balls, let's split up into two teams."
Peter agreed reluctantly, and quickly finished up rolling his last snowball.
"Remus!? Want to be on my team?" James offered and Remus agreed. Sirius got paired up with Peter, which caused a lot of angry grumbles from Sirius.
Suddenly, Sirius threw a snowball, which nearly hit Remus in the head, but Remus luckily dodged in time.
"Come on!" James exclaimed, excitement flashing in his eyes, "Let's destroy them!"
James picked up two snowballs, and threw them. He hit Peter with one of them, but as soon as James threw the second on, Peter fell to the ground.
"Good job," Remus praised, shooting James an approving look. He noticed that as Peter stood up, he was shivering more now, but Sirius and James didn't seem to care.
Remus bent down to pick up a couple of the snowballs, surprised to see that Sirius was no longer in view.
"Where did he go…" Remus muttered, scanning the whole area, but he didn't seem to be anywhere.
He began walking, and was surprised when he felt an icy chill hit him. Suddenly, another snowball hit him, and he turned and saw that Sirius was hiding behind a fallen log.
"You caught me!" Sirius laughed, throwing another snow ball, which Remus easily dodged.
"Hey guys! Look!" called James and everyone turned to see what he was pointing at, "the shrieking shack!"
Remus' heart dropped, he didn't know that people paid attention to the building, and he was even more surprised when he heard it had a name.
"It has a name?" he croaked, barely managing to get the words out.
"Yeah!" said Sirius excitedly, "It's like the most haunted building in all of Britain!"
"Why is it called "the shrieking shack"?" Remus asked warily, trying to act as though he never knew anything about it.
"Oh! Like once a month, everyone hears ghosts screaming, or sometimes even howling! It's so scary!" James explained and Remus' heart sank because he knew the sounds from the shack were from him.
"Should we get closer?!" Sirius quired and James nodded immediately, and Peter did so as well after a bit of hesitation.
"Remus?" Peter squeaked, turning towards him.
"Erm… Why don't we just continue having a snowball fight instead…" Remus asserted, hoping his friends would agree.
"Don't be like Peter!" Sirius argued, causing a grumble from Peter. "It's not like we're going inside!"
Remus agreed reluctantly, his heart hammering louder with every step. His heart was beating so loudly that his friends probably heard it.
Finally, they got really close to the building, and Remus' stomach cramped as he looked at it. He began to feel dizzy, so he leaned against a tree, trying to get the feeling to pass.
"James!" Sirius called, "Help me reach that window!" Remus then noticed that there was a small window near the top.
"Erm… That's probably not a good idea… Besides, you can't reach that…" Remus reasoned but Sirius wouldn't listen and just shot him an annoyed look.
Sirius clambered up onto James' back, which made him wobble a bit. Sirius tried standing, and was surprisingly able to almost reach the window.
"Hey! I can see the inside!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly.
"Make it quick," James grunted through gritted teeth, "I can't hold you for much longer…"
"I see…" Sirius began, narrowing his eyes, "Scratch marks? How did they get there?"
"Sounds scary!" Peter whimpered, backing away from the shack, "I knew it was haunted, I just knew it!"
Suddenly, James leaned forward, causing Sirius to fall face forward into the snow.
"What did you see?" Remus asked listlessly.
"Oh it was terrifying!" Sirius beamed, pacing around, "there were scratch marks… Everywhere! And, and I think blood?"
Peter cowered behind a tree, "Scary!" he exclaimed. He was trembling, probably partly because he was scared and probably because he was cold as well.
"Let's try to find a way in!" James suggested and Sirius nodded enthusiastically, and the two of them began searching for an entrance.
Suddenly, Remus' vision began flooding with multiple black spots, and he felt extremely dizzy. He clutched onto the tree he was standing next to and tried so hard not to collapse.
Suddenly, memories came back to him… And they were memories from the wolf… He normally never remembered what happened during full moons because Madame Pomfrey made sure he forgot about it because of how traumatizing the experiences were…
Remus saw himself in werewolf form scratching at the walls, howling in agony, wanting to get out of the shack…
He saw wood splinter from the wall, causing hot blood to trickle down his foreleg, staining it bright, flaming, red.
Then, he saw himself howling in rage, throwing himself against the wall, in another desperate attempt to get out but it wasn't working.
"Remus!" he heard a voice call, and he quickly snapped back to reality, and he saw Peter standing next to him, concern in his eyes. "You were staring out in the distance… And you seemed to be bothered by something…"
Remus couldn't breath, he couldn't talk, he couldn't do anything. His heart was beating faster than a hummingbird flying, he fell to his knees, panting.
"Remus! Are you ok!" Peter exclaimed, leaning down to help him stand up.
"I, I, I need to get out of here," Remus whimpered, and it seemed he couldn't snap back to reality. More memories came flying in, and Remus couldn't just focus on Peter.
He grasped his head, his thoughts and memories whirling like a hurricane. His breathing was labored now, and he felt as though he'd collapse.
"Remus! Respond to me!" Peter wailed and Remus suddenly snapped back into reality again, staring at Peter.
"I n-need to get away…" he stuttered, and Peter shot him a confused look, but Remus knew he couldn't explain, he just needed to get away.
Remus hurried off, ignoring the glares and whispers of the other people playing in the snow. He flung the doors of the school open and hurried in, and began leaning against the wall, trying to calm himself.
"Are you ok?" a gentle voice said, and Remus turned around to see Lily Evans standing with her friends.
"Oh, I'm fine!" Remus said, trying to act cheerful, "why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem a bit… Off…" Lily observed, and Remus just dismissed her.
"I'm fine! Perfectly fine…" Remus declared and Lily's friends began whispering amongst themselves, which made Remus feel uncomfortable.
"If you say so…" Lily said reluctantly, gathering her three other friends and walked away, leaving Remus alone.
"What's going on…" he whispered to himself, realizing that he almost never remembered anything from the full moon. Am I becoming more like the wolf? Remus thought, and it made him feel sick to the stomach…
After note : Thank you so much for reading this chapter! I know this chapter was much longer than most but I'm pretty proud of it. By the way, if you didn't really understand what was going on in the end, Remus had an extreme panic attack. So one comment is one chocolate bar for Remus :) Anyways, have a great day! And I hope you enjoy the chapters that are to come! :)