In this here chapter of Sonic and the Sonic Characters work at the local Pizza Hut, Ruglurker's metamorphosis has completed.
"MY METAMORPHOSIS HAS COMPLETED!" Ruglurker says, in all of her cheesy glory. From miles around the animals flock to see the abomination shunned by god. (Ruglurker, not Tails. Nobody wants to look at Tails.)
Bits of her face and also pepperoni and sausage and onions and dead fish drip from her degenerate face like the mess I made against the side of the Applebee's dumpster with my butt and a whole bucket of picklejuice. Mom never looked at me the same after that, and neither did Pamala.
"I HAVE SEEN THE FACE OF GOD AND NOW I AM THE PIZZA! HELLO! THIS IS MY HUT NOW!"
"Oh god," EggMan says, thinking about all the money he makes from working at the best Pizza Place in the world since that Papa John's mysteriously burned down after someone defiled all the Pizza in there. "She's right. Now that she is the Pizza, this is legally her Hurt. I am ruined financially and emotionally but mostly financially."
"Don'y eortty, EggsMan," Tails the foghox abomination says. Nobody looks at him. "I would have a plan here. If I use a science to sentiate the Pizza, that is to Bring Me To Life by Evaneatsants, and Wake Pizza Up Inside, it will grow ornery over her Pizza Face. That's cultural appreciation. We'll beat Ruglurker with her own gains, and once she knows forever and fore true that she is a Hippo Crate, she'll be too busy breaking all the mirrors in the world so she never has to Pizza Face herself again for what she's done to live in this Hut."
"I don't know what you said but please stop reminding me that you exist," says Eggma. "You are disgusting and I hope that you die in a fire like Papa John after he defiled all those Pizzas."
"Okay," says Tauls. "I will get startse."
Tauls yses a science, or rather, three secret sciences rolled into one big science, a test tube, a beaker and one of those chaosks that are taking all of our Pizza Hut jobs by taking orders from customebers, and he creats life in the Pizza Cooling Zone.
"Ruglurker may have seen the Face of God, but has she seen MY face?! I AM GOD NOW!" Tails says from the kitchen.
"I have but I really wish I hadn't!" Ruglurker says from the other side of the counter. "I am disgusted by your very existence!"
"Who isn't!" Tails saysz. The Pizza is alive.
"I am alive now!" says the Pizza. "What are you doing?! YOu are a bee and have no right to bee wearing the Pizza Face of my brothers and sisters! Don't you kjnow you are beeing a Cultural Appreciator?!"
"What! Thjese are my own gains you are beating me with! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" says Ruglurker. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" says rugh;lurkler "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!~ NO! No! NO! NO! No! NIO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" she dais
"Yes," says the Pizza.
"What accursed science have you wrought, you freak," says EggMa to Tauls.
"Pizza Science," Tauls says.
Ruglurker runs into the bathroom and smashes her Pizza Face into the nearest mirror, trying to destroy it because she cannot ever face herself again after her Hippo Crate, See. But unfortunately, not even Pizzas are immune to being smashed into glass with the force of a bee'.
Ruglurker is dead, and they will make Sonic clean it up in the morning.
"This is my HuT! IO AM TGHE PIZXQA!"
"My plan backfired!" Sauys Tails. "We are back to square one!"
"I know!" Says Big thew Caret. "Let's eat the Pizza!"
And on that day, everyone sinned, and for a nominal fee, you too could have the limited time Screaming Pizza from Pizza Hurt only 7.99 Tastemakerstyle.
"Cream" sauys cream.
"Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever."
And if you looked closely, you could see past Sonic picking at that really abboying pimple inside of his nose and noptice a tiny little spark in his eye. And in that spark, you could see his fantasies about whjere hye'll be in thirty yearas.
60 years old, Sonic cleans up the bathroom and sayys "It's Pizza Hut Time!"
Tails isn't disgusting anymore, and he only has one Tail, so he goes by Tail now. "Hey Big Brother! I love you!"
"Did somebody say Big Brother?" Says Big, his eyes full of wonder and hope.
"You're fired, Big. You'll never be anyone's Big Brother. Not now, Not EVER!" says Egfgsman.
"But I-" Big says, crying, like some kind of woman or Big Baby.
"Get out. NOW!" Eggman poi9nts.
Big is forced to give up his Pizza Hurt Close, the Close off his body, which are also the only Close he owns and has to walk out into the world naked.
"I am better from all that Cultural Apopulation I did!" Says Ruglurker. "Can I have a fresh Ice Cold Pizza?"
"Of course you can, says Sonic." "Coming right up Ruglurker says Soinc."
"Cream," says cream.
"Please don't fart on my pizza while you are making it cold!" says ruglurker.
"That';s a concern for my Little Breother, Tail!"
"Please don't fart on my piuzza while you are ma,ming it cold, Tail!"
"I make NO promises!" says Tail, who is decidedly not offensive to the eyes of most in this here fantsy.
Everybody claps.
When it is time to clock out, Sonic Says "IT'S NOT PZZA HURT YIOME RIOFGHT NOW." and clocks out.
On his way back to his home he does not give a homeless person a dollare even though he has one. He enters his apartment and jingles his keys before setting them down on the counter,. Inside his freezer, next to Amy's severed head, is a pint of rocky road icecream. He opens the freezer and opens the icecream before licking a peanut off the top. "I hope this is the only Rocky Road I go down today! Ho ho ho!" he says out loud for some reason. The freezer door is wide open, blasting freon into the atmosphere like it was made of Sherry Shriners in China.
Amy;'s words echo in his mind. "Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. 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"I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever.""Mister Sonic," Says Amy, raising her hand for some reason. "I wish we could work at the Pizza Hur forever."
"Me too, Amy,:" he sdays in both worlds. "Me too."