Snek is a Good Boy

Part Thirty-Two: Snek Shenanigans

[A/N: This chapter commissioned by Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]

The Wizard's Apprentice

Riley was watching the boss deal with a minor incursion a century or so over along the tau axis, disguising the annihilation of the extradimensional intruders by making it look as though they'd been killed off by way of local disease vectors, when something got his attention. Raising his head slightly, he turned to her. "Kindly institute level two precautions at once. I should be finished here in short order, but Snek will be arriving before that happens, and he brings with him another one of the more intriguing parasites: one that could disarrange the equipment in this area if it is allowed to do so."

"On it, boss." Riley still wasn't up to casting even the simplest spells on her own, but she'd been instructed in how to activate the magically-infused equipment. This included the containment jars for the power-granting parasites from Bet, the teleporting doorways, all the kitchenware, and the protection wards for the work-room.

Trotting over toward where the bronze plaque was set into the wall, she laid her hand on it and concentrated on a phrase in one of the several languages she was currently learning. The plaque began to glow, and she felt the receptive query of the spell within. In response, she focused on the concept of the level-two wards until the glow of the plaque altered.

As she took her hand away from the plaque, she felt rather than saw the wards begin to engage, fields of near-impervious (and nigh-invisible) force fading into existence. One by one, each piece of apparatus and each shelf was thus protected, taking on a subtle golden sheen. Even her goggles glowed briefly, then generated a protective field around her.

Just about the time the last field powered into action, three familiar knocks sounded from the main door of the work-room. "Enter, Snek," the boss called out without looking up from his task. "A containment sphere has been arranged for your guest. Kindly place her within. I shall be with you in a moment."

The door opened, and Snek slithered into the work-room. "Thank you, Masster," he said politely. "Bad wordss lady hass a sshadow-Ssnek. May Ssnek have it?"

"A shadow-Snek?" Riley took a couple of steps closer. "Okay, this I gotta see."

"Ssnek will assk if bad wordss lady will let it come out and play." The giant snake's jaws gaped wide, his multi-branching tongue reaching back into the interdimensional space that had been incorporated into his throat. Wriggling closer to the shimmering sphere, he pulled a woman into view.

She was suffering from the usual level of stunned shock that afflicted people who had been involuntarily stuffed into Snek's 'not-eat place', but even as he shoved her into the containment sphere, her power activated anyway. Riley recognised her as Moord Nag almost immediately; not many people had access to a giant shadowy snake sporting a horse skull (or any other kind of skull) for a head. Jack had once expressed disappointment that the African warlord was an ocean away, rather than being where he could recruit her to the Nine.

Much more of interest was the fact that while she was inside the sphere, the shadowy snake—the shadow-Snek—was outside it. Rampaging outside, to be more specific. Slamming into the walls, the shelves and the heretofore delicate apparatus, it seemed to be getting more and more frustrated when nothing it did had any effect.

Finally, it charged at Riley herself with jaws wide open. She stood firm, grabbing a chair to brace herself and letting it clamp its teeth down on her arm. The golden sheen stopped it dead; all she felt was a mild pressure and tugging as it attempted to drag her off her feet and gnaw on her arm.

"Bad sshadow-Ssnek! Sshadow-Ssnek sshould not hurt Riley!" Snek left Moord Nag to her own devices within the containment sphere and launched himself at the shadowy projection. His fangs latched onto the 'neck' of the shadowy creature, and his body flexed as he hauled the thing off Riley. It tried to hold on, but horse teeth do not have a great deal of traction, and she wasn't going anywhere she didn't want to. Bereft of her arm, the teeth clashed together, then it writhed and lashed out (to no avail whatsoever) as Snek dragged it backwards.

Apparently seeking to hurt someone, its tail whipped around toward where the Master of the Castle was finalising his work in ending the invasion that was going on elsewhere and elsewhen. Riley opened her mouth to shout a warning, but the creature's appendage got there first. It struck … and a good third of the length of the creature evaporated in a puff of shadow.

"And that will be enough of that." The boss closed down the scrying globe he'd been using, looked over at where the shadow-Snek had recoiled from the impact, and gestured briefly. A second containment sphere formed, sucking the projection into it. Snek opened his jaws right on cue, releasing it. Moments later, it was as trapped as its mistress.

"That was actually fairly impressive," Riley admitted. "Though back on Bet, the Aasdier—the Scavenger—projection could suck out life force and power up that way."

"Ssnek felt sshadow-Ssnek trying to do that." Snek peered at the containment spheres. "Masster magic too sstrong."

"Though their progenitors lack imagination, the parasites themselves are impressively creative." The boss took up his staff; it flared briefly, and the golden sheen faded away as the wards were dispelled. "This one may warrant further study."

The giant snake raised his head and spoke diffidently. "Ssnek wonderss if Masster could let Ssnek play with sshadow-Ssnek, not put in little jar."

"Really?" One shaggy eyebrow rose.

"Yess, Masster. Ssnek likess playing with sshadow-Ssnek. Iss fun."

"Hm." The boss stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Well, then. I cannot promise anything, Snek, but I shall see what I can do."

"Thank you, Masster."

This, Riley decided, was definitely going to be interesting.

Shoreham Fishing Village

The Next Morning

It's going to be a good day out on the water, Sveta decided as she stepped out her front door. There were a few clouds around, illuminated by the yet-to-rise sun, but none of the high wispy ones that presaged a storm. Raising her arm without looking, she braced herself for the weight of Esmerelda as the hearth-dragon came in for a neat landing on her forearm.

"There you are," she said fondly as she gathered her dearest companion into a cuddle. "You were out all night with Ranger, you naughty girl. I hope you enjoyed yourself."

Esmerelda chirped happily as she rubbed her head alongside Sveta's jawline. While hearth-dragons were nonverbal, the impression Sveta got was along the gist of 'why yes, I enjoyed myself very much indeed, thank you'. From the smug look Esmerelda had about her (for some reason, they were past masters at doing 'smug') the two hearth-dragons had definitely made the most of their time together.

"Good, good." Sveta gave Esmerelda a skritch behind her wings, causing the little dragon to arch her back and rumble with pleasure. "We're going to be out on the boat all day. I hope you're able to handle that."

In response, Esmerelda let her head loll back and began emitting lifelike snores, her tongue hanging artistically out the side of her mouth. Sveta could only laugh and shake her head. The more time they spent together, the more they connected on every emotional and mental level it was possible to connect on.

"Good morning!" The voice was bright and energetic. Sveta and Esmerelda both looked around; Paige had just emerged from the side door of the tavern, looking unreasonably fresh for someone who had been playing and singing until the wee hours of the morning. The tavern only boasted half a dozen rooms, but neither the Travellers nor Gretz had complained. Their gold spent well and they were polite and friendly to all, which made them doubly welcome.

Overall, it had been a very pleasant evening, one that many of the fisherfolk would be talking about for months or years to come. Given that the Travellers had come to Shoreham specifically to see Sveta, this was another point in her favour as being lucky, thus raising her standing even further among the villagers. And if anyone took it amiss that she'd spent some time talking to them and sharing various experiences from back on Bet, nobody was saying a word about it.

"Good morning to you as well," she responded, and went over to give Paige a hug. Esmerelda moved up onto her shoulder in the process, and Paige gave the hearth-dragon a caress as well. "I take it you'll be moving along today?"

"That's the plan, yes." Paige responded to Esmerelda's querying chirp by holding out her hands and catching her as the hearth-dragon jumped into them. "Noelle's heard of some prime bounties farther south, so she wants to find out more before we jump in on them."

Sveta smiled as she watched Esmerelda snuggling into Paige's arms. "That's probably a good idea. It would be all too easy to assume you're tough enough to take on any comers, and get your butt handed to you."

Paige chuckled, her fingers gently smoothing out Esmerelda's wings in a way that told Sveta she was familiar with what they liked. "From what the others have told me, they've got plenty of experience with that sort of thing. Francis was the leader for the longest time while Noelle was suffering from what her powers did to her, and by all accounts—including his own—he sucked at it."

"I'm guessing she's better at it." Sveta nodded to Elmora, who had emerged from the tavern in Paige's wake. "Morning. Did you have a good time last night?"

"Surely did." Elmora stretched, working her neck and shoulders and back to elicit a series of cracking and popping noises. "Your people know how to party when they want to."

Paige snorted. "From the amount you were drinking, I'm surprised you aren't asleep under a table somewhere."

"Oh, hon." Elmora grinned crookedly, pinching Paige's cheek. "I used to drink like this on a weekly basis. Just because I'm not super durable anymore doesn't mean I can't hold my booze."

"Well, you can definitely do that," agreed Sveta. She gestured at the dock, where the boats were tied up. "As soon as everyone's up, we're going to ready the boats and sail on the ebb tide."

"You're really into the whole fishing life, aren't you?" Paige opened her hands and Esmerelda spread her wings, leaping and gliding back to Sveta. Elmora stepped up behind Paige and put her arms around the musician, resting her chin on top of Paige's head. Paige laced her fingers through Elmora's, leaning back into the archer's embrace.

"I am." Sveta gathered the hearth-dragon to her. "I spent so much time looking at the world through a keyhole with only fragmentary dreams for company. When the Master of the Castle pulled back the veil and reversed what had been done to me, I remembered my previous life. This isn't identical, but it's close enough that I don't care. And every day, I can look at the sky and breathe free air."

Elmora snorted with amusement. "And I guess it doesn't hurt that you're basically their walking, talking good luck charm."

"I didn't ask to be." Trying not to feel defensive, Sveta stroked the side of Esmerelda's neck, and got a soothing croon in response. "I bonded with her fair and square."

"Chill, chill." Elmora chuckled. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. Whatever you've got, you've earned. No, I was just gonna mention that when Esmerelda has her kids, there's gonna be hearth-dragons all over the village, and people are gonna love you more than ever."

"… kids?" Paige's eyes opened wide. "Wait, Esmerelda's pregnant?"

Elmora rubbed her cheek alongside Paige's. "Don't ever change, sweetheart. If she ain't up the duff after her and Ranger did the nasty all night, there's either something wrong with her or something wrong with him. And knowing the Master of the Castle, you think he'd let something like that fly, pun totally intended?"

Sveta tilted her head. "… no, I can't see it. Huh. I knew she was getting it on with Ranger, but I figured it was their business. Didn't think about kids."

"What do you think they'll be, anyway?" asked Paige. "Ocean like Esmerelda, or Forest like Ranger?"

"Little bit of column A, little bit of column B?" suggested Elmora.

Sveta shook her head. "I actually talked to Riley about this, after I started bonding with Esmerelda. What offspring a hearth-dragon has is partly determined by genetics and partly by magic. So it's twenty-five percent chance of the father's strain, twenty-five per cent of the mother's strain, and fifty per cent chance that it's any one of the other strains. Some strains show up more rarely than others, but it's impossible to breed any of them out, because the potential exists in all of them. Or at least, that's how she explained it."

"And given that she used to be Bonesaw," Paige said thoughtfully, "I wouldn't argue about anything like that with her."

Elmora rolled her eyes. "Because of course there's magic involved in their breeding cycle. Why the hell should that be left out of things?"

Sveta grinned. "It certainly keeps life interesting around here, doesn't it?"

"It does," agreed Paige. "So, how's it feel, now that you're going to be a grandma?"

Sveta considered that for a moment. "Different," she said eventually. "One day I might even be one for real. But this'll do for the moment." There was a hail from down by the docks and she looked over to see Bron and Karol waving to her. "Whoops, duty calls."

"Duty, hah." Elmora grinned at her. "You love it, and you know it."

"True." She let Esmerelda take flight, then gave Paige another quick hug that included Elmora as well. "Take care. Tell the others I said thanks for visiting, and I truly enjoyed meeting you all. And come back sometime, please."

"We'll tell them," Paige promised, returning the hug. "Take care yourself."

"I promise." Sveta turned and headed down the slope toward where the boat, and her crewmates, waited. Esmerelda glided overhead, arrowing in on one particular set of rigging.

It had been nice to meet other people from Bet and catch up, but already she was putting the visit to the back of her mind. As she'd said earlier, this was her life now, and she was good at it.

"Good morn to you," Karol greeted her as she stepped on board; Esmerelda was already perched on the tiller. "See your friends off well enough?"

"Well enough," she agreed. "They'll be gone by the time we're back. It was nice meeting them, though."

As the boat moved away from the dock, urged by Karol's oar, Bron stepped on board with the stern line in his hands. "It was all of that," he said. "And the coin they spent will go a long way, too."

"It will, brother. It will."

Then the sails began to fill and the boat gained way, and no more mention was made of the Travellers.

Panacea

"Hey, Ames, you have to see this!"

As Vicky darted into the living room, her feet inches above the floor, Amy looked up from the book she was reading. Twilight, who had been dozing while draped along the back of the sofa, raised her head as well with an interrogatory chirp. "What?"

Vicky grinned and held out her phone. "Director Piggot's been doing her research on the hearth-dragons. Check it out."

That actually sounded more than a little ominous, but Vicky's upbeat expression gave her hope it wouldn't be that bad. "So what is it, exactly?"

"She put out a general order. Required reading for everyone, including Protectorate and affiliated capes. That's us. You've probably got one on your phone too."

"Gimme a second." Amy pulled out her own phone and accessed her emails. Sure enough, the one at the top had a PRT header. She hesitated, then tapped it. The email unfolded into an official-looking communication. With Twilight looking over her shoulder, she began to read.

PARAHUMAN RESPONSE TEAMS GENERAL ORDER

EAST-NORTH-EAST DEPARTMENT

DATE: 06/12/11

CLEARANCE: OPEN

REQUIRED READING: ALL PERSONNEL

SUBJECT: HEARTH-DRAGONS

It has come to the attention of the office of the Director that there are no fewer than three of the scientifically anomalous creatures termed 'hearth-dragons' within the city, in the company of New Wave. These creatures have an established connection to the creature known as 'Snek' (see relevant file): the best analysis available to this office indicates that they originate from the same world.

Given a) this connection, and b) that all three hearth-dragons are closely associated with New Wave capes, and c) they have appeared in public alongside said heroes, the following orders are in place for all PRT personnel, Protectorate personnel, and affiliated capes and contractors.

Hearth-dragons are to be treated as friendly, intelligent allies whenever encountered.

If you encounter a hearth-dragon that appears to be in distress, make every effort to determine why, and to remedy the situation. Contact their human affiliates as soon as possible.

While hearth-dragons are nonverbal, they are highly empathetic and appear to have a working comprehension of the English language. Even if they don't understand what you say, keep in mind that they will understand what you mean.

It is not beyond the realms of probability that more hearth-dragons will end up on Earth Bet. Unless otherwise specified, the above orders will also apply to those.

Signed,

Director Emily Piggot

PRT ENE

Click to expand...

Amy skimmed it to get the gist, then carefully read it all the way through to make sure she hadn't missed anything important. Finally, she looked up at Vicky. "Wow. I'm actually impressed."

"I know, right?" Vicky reached over and scratched the back of Twilight's neck, eliciting a croon of enjoyment. "It's like they suddenly had an attack of common sense."

Amy cradled her arms just as Twilight chose to slide down off the back of the sofa into her embrace. "I think you'll find it's a lot simpler than that. Look at point A. They come from Snek's world, and the PRT really doesn't want to upset the big goofy snake who's already eaten two Endbringers, plus a whole bunch of other assholes. I mean, would you risk pissing him off?"

"Not on my best day," Vicky declared with finality. "I'm good, but nobody's that good."

"Thus proving that you're smarter than the Simurgh." Amy smirked as Twilight chirped in agreement, and held the little dragon close to her. "That's right, sweetie. So are you."

The Wizard's Apprentice

There were two objects on the table next to where the boss was working on Moord Nag. One was a collection jar, essentially the same as the others containing the boss' growing collection of wispy essences of parasite, while the other looked like an ordinary feather: about four inches long, blue fading to green at the tip, but otherwise unremarkable. Riley knew what the jar was for, but the feather was a mystery to her.

Using the delicate tongs, the boss unwound a delicate strand of nothingness from the warlord's head and deposited it in the jar; knowing her cue, Riley dropped the heavy stopper into place. The magic engaged, sealing the container and making it impervious to anyone but an authorised person who knew the correct opening phrase. Trapped within, the newly extracted parasite coiled back and forth like a living wisp of smoke, seeking an exit that it would never attain.

But the boss wasn't done yet. He muttered a phrase, causing a hemisphere of crackling energy to spring up over the feather, then turned back to Moord Nag. Again, the tongs slid close to her head, then pulled away more of the parasite-stuff.

"Uh, boss …" she ventured. "Didn't you already get her power?"

"I have extracted and separated the problematic aspects of her parasite," he replied urbanely. "That is what goes on the shelf. What I have here is the rest of it." As he spoke, the end of the tongs slid into the hemispherical energy field over the feather. When he released the grip and pulled them out again, the wisp of energy remained within the field, which then began to shrink down around the feather.

Riley watched with fascination as the hemispherical field reduced in size, before finally sinking into the feather and vanishing. "So, what did you do to that, and why a feather?" she asked.

He smiled enigmatically. "Snek, your hat, if you will?"

"Yess, Masster." Snek's versatile tongue reached up to the top of his head and removed the hat that had once belonged to Contessa (and hadn't Riley laughed her head off when she found out about that).

"Thank you, Snek." Taking up the feather, the boss accepted the hat and carefully tucked it into the hatband. The barest flash of magic told Riley that the feather had been given the same protective enchantments as the hat itself. "You may put it back on now."

"Thank you, Masster." Snek took the hat back and put it in the middle of his broad head. "Iss nicce feather."

"It is more than that." The boss nodded toward Snek. "Call your playmate. You will find it to be friendly and no longer a danger to others."

A hopeful look came over the giant snake's features. "Ssnek would like to play with sshadow-Ssnek now."

If Riley hadn't been watching carefully, she would've missed it. The feather glowed briefly, then shadow-stuff poured out of it and formed into the same creature that Snek had fought earlier, complete with a giant wolf skull for a head. It was over in an instant, and Snek's features broke out in a broad smile.

"Whoa, dang." Riley shook her head. "You put the shadow snake in the feather?"

"A minor enchantment, and a proof of concept." The boss gestured in an off-hand manner. "You may go and play, Snek."

"Thank you, Masster." Snek wriggled to the door and opened it; the shadow snake followed him out. It closed behind them.

Riley took up the specimen jar and carried it over toward the shelves, still mulling over what she'd just seen. She'd been right.

That had been damn interesting.

End of Part Thirty-Two