The Unicorn and the Wasp
Jack, my mom, and dad were all understanding when I explained to them where Annabelle came from. Annabelle was very accepting of them. She even started calling Jack, Dad, which made both me and Jack smile. Mom and Dad were a little uncomfortable at first when she called them Grandma and Grandpa, because she looked like she was almost the same age as me.
After introducing Annabelle to the other members of our family, we headed out on our first official trip with The Doctor. We let Annabelle step out first. She smiled and looked around, Then I walked out after her, "Ok, sweetheart… Where do you think we are?"
I wanted to test her time senses and her intelligence. She looked around, "OK… Well its Earth…" Then she took a sniff, "Grass, lemonade, and just a hint of mint… 1920s?"
I smiled, "Good Job…" as I gave her a small side hug.
"You lot can tell what year it is just by smelling?"
"Oh yeah," said the Doctor.
"That was part of it," said Annabelle, "But mostly it was that old car coming up the driveway…"
We all laughed a little as we crept forward and leaned around the side of the house to watch a smartly dressed man step out of the car while a butler walked over to him with a footman, "The Professor's luggage, Richard. Step lively," Then, he turned to the man who was driving the car, "Good afternoon, Prof. Peach."
"Hello, Greeves, old man," said Prof. Peach. We then saw a reverend riding up the driveway on his bicycle. The reverend rang the bell on his bike, "Ah, Reverend."
"Prof. Peach. Beautiful day," said the reverend as he got off his bike, "Lord's in His Heaven, all's right with the world."
"Rev. Golightly," said Greeves, "The Lady Eddison requests that you make yourselves comfortable in your rooms. Cocktails will be served on the lawn from half-past four."
"You go on up," said Prof. Peach, "I need to check something in the library."
"Oh?" asked the reverend.
"Alone."
"It's supposed to be a party. All this work will be the death of you." Then the men all went in the house.
"Never mind Planet Zog," said Donna, "A party in the 1920s—that's more like it."
"The trouble is, we haven't been invited," said The Doctor, as he reached into his coat pocket, "Oh, I forgot…" he took out the psychic paper, "Yes, we have."
"Now, we are going to the party this time?" I asked.
"Yes…"
"Because, the last time we tried to sneak into a party. You had Rose and me working as wait staff…"
"That was completely different circumstances…"
"Whatever…"
We headed back to the TARDIS and us three women made a beeline for the wardrobe. We all got dressed and were making our way back through the console room, when we heard The Doctor knocking on the door, "We'll be late for cocktails!"
I rolled my eyes as Annabelle and I stepped out first. I was wearing a black, long-sleeved dress that went to a couple of inches past my knees. I had my hair clipped back on the sides Annabelle was wearing a light green dress, thin-strapped dress that reached to her knees. Her hair was held back by a dark green head band.
"You two look great," said The Doctor.
"Thank you." said Annabelle.
"It's kind of fun to dress up once and awhile.
Then Donna stepped out in a brown and black flapper dress. Her hair was done up in an elaborate bun, "What do you think? Flapper or slapper?"
My uncle smiled, "Flapper. You look lovely." Donna closed the door as my uncle held out his arms. She linked hers through it and we headed out to the party.
We walked out to the lawn and saw tables set up and the servants were finishing setting up the food and drinks. "Look sharp!" shouted the housekeeper, "Look sharp! We have guests."
"Good afternoon!" said the Doctor, as we walked over.
A footman walked up to us and asked, "Drink, sir? Madam? Misses?"
"Lemonade," I said.
"I'll have a lemonade as well," said Annabelle.
"Sidecar, please," said Donna.
"And a lime and soda, thank you."
"May I introduce Lady Clemency Eddison," said Greeves, as a small blonde woman walked up, wearing a light blue, well-made dress.
"Lady Eddison!" said The Doctor, as he shook her hand.
"Excuse me, but who exactly might you be…and what are you doing here?" asked Lady Eddison.
"I'm the Doctor and these are my nieces from America, Theodora and Annabelle Duncan."
"Call me Teddy," I said, as I shook Lady Eddison's hand.
"A pleasure to meet you, Lady Eddison" said Annabelle, as shook Lady Eddison's hand.
"And this is Miss Donna Noble…of the Chiswick Nobles," said The Doctor.
"Good afternoon, my lady," said Donna, in a very posh tone of voice as she curtseyed, "Topping day, what? Spiffing! Top hole!"
Annabelle laughed a little at Donna's attempt to be posh, my uncle whispered to Donna, "No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. Don't." Then, he turned back to Lady Eddison and showed her the psychic paper, "We were thrilled to receive your invitation, my lady. We met at the ambassador's reception."
"Doctor, how could I forget you?" said Lady Eddison, "But one must be sure with the Unicorn on the loose."
"A unicorn? Brilliant. Where?"
"Uh, the Unicorn. The jewel thief? And nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again. Snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose."
"Funny place to wear pearls," said Donna, softly, Annabelle and I lightly chuckled, as the footman brought us our drinks.
"May I announce the Col Hugh Curbishley, the Hon Roger Curbishley," said Greeves, as a young man pushed a wheelchair-laden older man over to us.
"My husband. And my son," said Lady Eddison.
"Forgive me for no rising," said Hugh, "Never been the same since the flu epidemic back in '18."
Roger walked over to Donna, "My word! You are a super lady!"
"Oh! I like the cut of your jib. Chin-chin," beamed Donna.
"I'm the Doctor," said my uncle as he shook Roger's hand, "and these are my nieces, Teddy and Annabelle."
"How do you do?" said Roger as he shook our hands.
"Very well, thank you," said Annabelle.
Then, the footman brought Roger a drink on a tray, "Your usual, sir."
"Ah, thank you, Davenport," said Roger with a smile, as he took the drink, "Just how I like it."
Donna then asked us quietly, "How come she's an Eddison but her husband and son are Curbishleys?"
I looked at Annabelle, another chance to test her, "Want to take this one?"
Annabelle smiled, "The Eddison title descends through her. One day Roger will be a lord."
I smiled, "That's right, kiddo…"
"Look's like that knowledge transfer your mum did on you back on Messaline worked perfectly," said The Doctor, "You are without a doubt the smartest three-day old in the history of the universe."
We all laughed, then Greeves announced, "Miss Robina Redmond."
A young, dark-haired woman in a red dress walked across the lawn, "She's the absolute hit of the social season," said Lady Eddison, "A must. Miss Redmond." Then, she walked over to Robina.
"Spiffing to meet you at last, my lady," said Robina.
"Rev. Arnold Golightly," announced Greeves, as the reverend walked across the lawn.
"Ah, Reverend! How are you?" asked Lady Eddison, "I heard about the church last Thursday night, those ruffians breaking in."
"You apprehended them, I hear," said Hugh.
"As the Christian fathers taught me, we must forgive them their trespasses," said Rev. Golightly, "Quite literally."
"Some of these young boys deserve a decent thrashing," said Roger.
"Couldn't agree more, sir," said Davenport, as he brought Roger another drink.
Roger cleared his throat and then Donna said do us, "Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus."
"Or Time Lords," said The Doctor.
"Or immortal," I said with a smile.
"Now my lady," asked Rev. Golightly, "What about this special guest you promised us?"
"Here she is. A lady who needs no introduction," everyone started to applaud as a blond hair woman in a blue dress walked toward us. Whoever she was she wasn't very comfortable with all the attention she was getting.
"Oh, no. Please don't. Thank you, Lady Eddison. Honestly, there's no need," she walked over to us and as she shook mine, Annabelle's and Donna's hands, "Agatha Christie."
My eyes went big, "What about her?" asked Donna.
"That's me."
"No! You're kidding!"
"Agatha Christie!" said my uncle, as he shook her hand, "I was just talking about you the other day. I said, "I bet she's brilliant". I'm the Doctor and this is Donna, Teddy and Annabelle. Oh, I love your stuff! What a mind! You fool me every time. Well…almost every time. Well…once or twice. Well…once. But it was a good once."
I rolled my eyes, then Agatha said, "You make a rather unusual couple." I couldn't believe it. Another person who thought my uncle and Donna were together.
"Oh, no, no, no, no. We're not married," said The Doctor.
"We're not a couple," said Donna.
"Obviously not—no wedding ring," said Agatha.
"Oh…you don't miss a trick." said the Doctor with a smile.
"And I'd stay that way if I were you. The thrill is in the chase, never in the capture."
"Mrs. Christie, I'm so glad you could come," said Lady Eddison, "I'm one of your greatest followers. I've read all six of your books. Uh, is, uh, Mr. Christie not joining us?"
"Is he needed?" asked Agatha, "Can't a woman make her own way in the world?"
"Don't give my wife ideas," laughed Hugh.
"Mrs. Christie, I have a question," asked Roger, "Why a Belgian detective?"
"Excuse me, Colonel," said The Doctor, as he stepped forward and took the newspaper that was sitting on his lap.
"Belgians make such lovely buns," said Agatha.
"Where on Earth's Prof. Peach?" asked Roger, " He'd love to meet Mrs. Christie."
"Said he was going to the library," said the reverend.
Just then The Doctor motioned for us to come over to him.
" Miss Chandrakala, would you go and collect the professor?" asked Lady Eddison
"At once, my lady," said Miss Chadrakala, then she started to he to the house.
When Donna, Annabelle and I reached The Doctor, I asked, "What's up?"
"The date on this newspaper," said The Doctor as he showed us the paper.
"What about it?" asked Donna.
"It's the day Agatha Christie disappeared," said Annabelle.
The Doctor nodded, "She just discovered her husband was having an affair."
"You'd never think to look at her smiling away," said Donna.
"Well, she's British and moneyed," said The Doctor, "That's what they do—they carry on. Except for this one time. No one knows exactly what happened—she just vanished."
"Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake," I said, "Ten days later she turns up at a hotel in Harrogate."
"She said she'd lost her memory," said Annabelle, "She never spoke about the disappearance till the day she died. But whatever it was…"
"It's about to happen," said Donna.
The Doctor nodded, "Right here, right now."
Just then Ms. Chandrakal came running out of the house, "The professor! The library! Murder! Murder!"
Donna, Annabelle and I followed The Doctor into the library with Agatha right behind us. The Doctor and I went over to the body. Greeves entered the room next, "Oh, my goodness."
"Looks like he was hit on the back of the head by a blunt instrument," I said.
The Doctor tapped the professor's watch, "Watch broke as he fell, time of death was quarter past four." He stood up and started to go through some papers on the desk.
"Bit of pipe," Said Donna, as she picked up a pipe near the professor's head, "Call me Hercule Poirot but I reckon that's blunt enough."
I noticed Agatha take a bit of paper from near the fireplace, "Nothing worth killing for in that lot, dry as dust." said The Doctor.
Donna said softly, "Hold on, the body in the library? I mean, Prof Peach, in the library, with a lead piping?"
Just then we heard Lady Eddison's voice from the hall, "Let me see!"
"Out of my way!" said Hugh.
"Gerald!" gasped Lady Eddison as she and the others entered.
"Saints preserve us," said the reverend.
"Oh, how awful," said Robina
"Someone should call the police," said Agatha.
"You don't have to," said The Doctor, as he took out his psychic paper, "Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard, known as The Doctor. These three ladies," he said as pointed to Donna, Annabelle, and myself, "are the plucky young girls who help me out."
"I say," said Lady Eddison
"Mrs. Christie was right. Go into the sitting room. I will question each of you in turn."
"Come along," said Agatha, as he escorted everyone out, "Do as The Doctor says. Keep the room undisturbed."
Everyone left except for us Time Lords and our companion
"'The plucky young girls who help me out?'" quoted Donna when we were alone.
My uncle was stretched out on the floor looking for clues, "There were no policewomen in 1926." he said.
"I'll pluck you in a minute. Why don't we phone the real police?"
"The last think we want is PC Plod sticking his nose in. Especially…" we watched as he pulled something from a crack in the floor, "now that I've found this." He stood up, "Morphic residue."
"Morphic? Doesn't sound very 1926."
"It gets left behind when certain species genetically re-encode," said Annabelle.
"The murderer's an alien?" asked Donna.
"Which means that one of them is an alien in human form," I said.
"Yeah, but think about it. There's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie," said Donna.
"So?" asked The Doctor as he sniffed the residue, "Happens to me and Teddy all the time."
"But isn't that a bit weird?" asked Annabelle, "Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders like Jessica Fletcher on Murder, She Wrote."
"Right," said Donna, "That's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas."
"Well—" said The Doctor. I smiled as I thought about when Rose told me about her first trip was to the past with my uncle. She met Charles Dickens, at Christmas, and there were ghost like aliens.
"Oh come on," said Donna, "It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy's not real, is he? Tell me there's no Noddy."
"There's no Noddy," said The Doctor as he left the room, and we followed.
"Next thing you'll be telling me it's like Murder on the Orient Express and they all did it."
"Murder on the Orient Express?" asked Agatha as she was stepping out of alcove.
"Oh, yeah. One of your best." said Donna.
"But not yet," I said.
"Marvelous idea, though," said Agatha.
"Yeah, tell you what—Copyright: Donna Noble, yeah?" said Donna.
"Anyway," said The Doctor, "Teddy, Agatha and I will question suspects. Donna, you and Annabelle search the bedrooms, look for clues." he whispered, "Any more residue," then in a normal tone he said, "You'll need this." Then he pulled a large magnifying glass out of his pocket.
"Is that for real?" said Donna, as she looked like she was going to hit him.
"Go on. You're ever so plucky."
Donna took it then she and Annabelle headed upstairs.
"Be careful," I said telepathically to my daughter.
"We will, Mom… Don't worry." she replied.
"Right then. Solving a murder mystery with Agatha Christie. Brilliant!" said my uncle, with a big smile on his face.
"How like a man to have fun while there's disaster all around him."
I shook my head, "Tell me about it…"
"Sorry," said my uncle as he cleared his throat, "Yeah."
"I'll work with you, gladly, but for the sake of justice, not your own amusement."
We interviewed all the suspects one by one in the sitting room starting with Rev. Golightly. "Now then, Reverend…" asked The Doctor, "Where were you at quarter past four?"
"Let me think," said the reverend, "Why yes, I remember. I was unpacking in my room."
"No alibi then?" I asked.
"You were alone?" asked Agatha.
"With the Lord, one is never truly alone," said the reverend.
Next was Roger, "And where were you?" asked The Doctor.
"Let me think," he said, "I was, uh… Oh yes, I was taking a constitutional in the fields behind the house. Just taking a stroll, that's all."
"Alone?" I asked.
"Oh yes, all alone. Totally alone. Absolutely alone. Completely. All of the time. I wandered, lonely, as the proverbial cloud. There was no one else with me. Not at all. Not ever."
Next was Robina, "And where were you?" asked The Doctor.
"At a quarter past four…" she said, "well, I went to the toilet when I arrived, and then, Oh yes, I remember. I was preparing myself. Positively buzzing with excitement about the party and the super fun of meeting Lady Eddy."
"We've only got your word for it," I said.
"That's your problem, not mine."
Next was Hugh, "And where were you, sir?"
"Quarter past four? Let me think… Oh yes, I remember. I was sitting in me study reading through some military memoirs. Fascinating stuff. Took me back to me days in the army. Started reminiscing. Mafeking, you know. Terrible war."
I could tell that the Colonel was losing his train of thought, "Colonel, snap out of it."
"I was in me study—"
"No, no, no—right out of it." said my uncle.
"Oh, sorry. Got a bit…carried away there." said the Colonel.
Last was Lady Eddison, "And where were you at a quarter past four, my lady?"
"Now let me see…" she said, "Yes, I remember… I was sitting in the blue room taking my afternoon tea. It's a ritual of mine. I needed to gather strength for the duty of hostess. I then proceeded to the lawn where I met…you, Doctor and I said 'And who might you be and what are you doing here?' and you said, 'I'm the Doctor and these are my nieces from America, Theodora and Annabelle Duncan…'"
"Yes, you can stop now," I said, "We were there for that part."
"Of course," said Lady Eddison, then she burped, "Excuse me."
Once we were finished, the three of us remained in the sitting room to discuss what we learned. Were pacing in front of the fireplace when Agatha said, "No alibis for any of them. The secret adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive," then with a Belgian accent she said, "Use the little grey cells."
"Oh yes, little grey cells. Good old Poirot," said my uncle as he took a seat, "Y'know, I've been to Belgium. Yeah, I remember… I was deep in the Ardennes trying to find Charlemagne…he'd been kidnapped by an insane computer."
I rolled my eyes and said, "Doctor! Doctor!"
"Sorry."
"Charlemagne lived centuries ago."
"I've got a good memory."
"For such an experienced detective, you missed a big clue."
"What, that bit of paper you nicked out of the fireplace?"
"You were looking the other way!"
"Yeah, but I saw you reflected in the glass of the bookcase."
"You crafty man," said Agatha as my uncle gave her a smirk, then she took it out of her pocket, "This is all that was left."
We walked over to her and looked at it. The first letter of the word was a bit distorted but, "adien" could be seen clearly, "What's that first letter? N or M?" I asked.
"It's an M. The word is 'maiden'."
"Maiden!" shouted The Doctor, causing both Agatha and me to jump, then in a normal tone of voice he said, "What does that mean?"
Agatha sighed, "We're still no further forward. Our nemesis remains at large. Unless Miss Noble and young Miss Duncan have found something."
Just then through our telepathic link, I heard, "Mom!"
Then, we heard Donna call out, "Doctor!"
The three of us ran out of the sitting room and up the stairs. We found Donna and Annabelle standing outside of one of the rooms.
"There is a giant…wasp!" said Donna out of breath.
"What do you mean, giant wasp?" asked my uncle.
"I mean a wasp that's giant!"
"It's only a silly little insect," said Agatha.
Annabelle rolled her eyes, "When she said 'giant', she didn't mean big, She meant freaking enormous! Look at its stinger!" She pointed at the door, we looked down and saw a giant stinger sticking in the door.
"Let me see!" said The Doctor, as he rushed into the bedroom. The rest of us followed, "It's gone. Buzzed off." he went over to a broken window and looked out.
Agatha looked down at the broken stinger in the door, "But that's fascinating."
She went to touch it but The Doctor rushed over to stop her, "D-D-D-D-D-D-Don't touch it. Don't touch it. Let me."
He took out a test tube with a stopper and started to take a sample of residue off the stinger. I knelt next to him, "Giant wasp… Well, there are tons of amorphous insectivorous lifeforms but…none in this galactic vector."
"I think I understood some of those words. Enough to know that you're completely potty," said Agatha.
"Lost its sting, though. That makes it defenseless." said Donna.
"A creature that size?" said Annabelle, "It's got to be able to grow a new one."
"Uh, can we return to sanity?" asked Agatha, "There are no such things as giant wasps."
"Exactly!" said The Doctor, "So… The question is, what's it doing here?"
We headed back downstairs when we heard a scream. We ran down the stairs and outside and found Miss Chandrakala with a large stone gargoyle on top of her. We all crouched around her as she said, "The poor, little…child." then she died.
We then heard a loud buzzing sound and looked up and there flying overhead was a giant wasp! "There!" shouted The Doctor, "Come on!" We all ran inside at started up the stairs.
"Well, this makes a change. There's a monster and we're chasing it," said Donna.
"Can't be a monster," said Agatha, "It's a trick. They do it with mirrors." We reached the top of the stairs and found ourselves practically face to face with the wasp, "By all that's holy…"
"Oh, but you are wonderful!" said The Doctor. Then, the wasp started to take aim at us, "Now, just stop there."
Then it rushed toward us stinger first, we ducked at it passed, "Oi! Flyboy!" said Donna, as he held up the magnifying glass my doctor gave her. It was startled by it and it flew away.
"Don't let it get away!" said Annabelle, as we got up, "Hurry! Before it reverts to human form!" We chased after it, into the hallway where the guests' bedrooms were. "Where are you?" she said, "Come on! There's nowhere to run… Show yourself!" The doors opened all long the hallway opened and everyone walked out and starred at us, "Aw man…That's cheating…."
I smiled and gave her a little side hug, "You get used to it…"
We all went to the sitting room to discuss what happened Miss Chandrakala. "My faithful companion!" said Lady Eddison, in tears, "This is terrible!"
"Excuse me, my lady," said Davenport, "She was on her way to tell you something."
"She never found me. She had an appointment with death instead."
"She said, 'the poor little child.'. Does that mean anything to anyone?" asked The Doctor.
"No children in this house for years," said Hugh. Then he glanced at Roger, "Highly unlikely there will be."
"Mrs. Christie, you must have twigged something," said Lady Eddison, "You've written simply the best detective stories."
"Tell us…what would Poirot do?" asked the reverend.
"Heaven's sake! Cards on the table, woman! You should be helping us!"
"But… I'm merely a writer." said Agatha.
" But surely you can crack it," said Robina, "These events, they're exactly like one of your plots."
"That's what I've been saying," said Donna, "Agatha, that's got to mean something."
"But what? I've no answers," said Agatha, "None. I'm sorry, all of you, I'm truly sorry, but I've failed. If anyone can help us, it's the Doctor, not me."
Then everyone in the room turned to look at my uncle as Agatha got up and walked out of the room. After a little bit, Donna went to go check on her.
A little while later, us three Time Lords, Donna, and Agatha were in sitting room. Donna and Agatha came back to the sitting room and Agatha was holding a small box. The Doctor opened it up and found all sorts of tools inside, "Ooh…someone came tooled up…the sort of stuff a thief would use."
"The Unicorn—he's here!" said Agatha.
"The Unicorn and the wasp."
Greeves entered with a tray of drinks, "Your drinks, ladies, Doctor."
"Very good, Greeves," said The Doctor as we took our drinks.
"What about the science stuff? What did you find?" asked Donna.
"It is a Vespiform stinger." I said.
"Vespiforms have got hives in the Silifax Galaxy," said Annabelle.
"Again you all talk like Edward Lear," said Agatha.
"For some reason, this one's behaving like a character in one of your books," said The
"Come on, Agatha. What would Miss Marple do?" asked Donna, "She'd've overheard something vital by now because the murderer thinks she's just a harmless old lady."
"Clever idea. Miss Marple," said Agatha, "Who writes those?"
"Um, copyright: Donna Noble. Add it to the list."
"Donna." said the Doctor.
"OK, we could split the copyright."
"No… something's inhibiting my enzymes…" he jerked forward, "Aaahh!" we all rushed over, "I've been poisoned!" Then he started to convulse.
"What do we do? What do we do?" said Donna.
Annabelle picked up the glass, "Bitter almonds…it's cyanide. Sparkling cyanide!"
"Come on! We've got to get the kitchen!" I said as I pulled my uncle out of the room.
We ran into the kitchen, The Doctor grabbed Davenport by the lapel, "Ginger beer."
"I beg your pardon?" said Davenport.
"I need ginger beer."
"Doctor!" I shouted, "Over here!" He ran over to me.
"They've gone mad!" said one of the cooks.
I handed him the bottle. He opened it up and poured the rest of it over his head.
"I'm an expert in poisons, Doctor. It's fatal! There's no cure!" said Agatha.
The Doctor spit out the ginger beer, "Not for me! I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal. Protein! I need protein!"
We all started to search the kitchen, "Walnuts!" said Annabelle, as she brought him a big jar.
"Brilliant!" he said as he shoved them into his mouth and tried to talk.
"I can't understand you!" said Donna. The Doctor started to shake one of his hands as though he was pouring something. "How many words?" he held up one finger. "One. One word. Shake? Milk? Shake? Milk? Milk! No, not milk. U, shake, shake, shake—cocktail shaker! What do you want, a Harvey Wallbanger?"
"Harvey Wallbanger?!" he shouted as he swallowed.
"Well, I don't know!"
"How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?"
"What do you need, Doctor?" asked Agatha.
"Salt!" shouted my uncle as we started to look for something salty, "I was miming salt! Salt! I need something salty!"
Donna showed him a brown bag, "What about this?"
"What is it?"
"It's salt."
"That's too salty!"
"Oh, that's too salty."
"What about this?" asked Agatha as she held out a jar to him.
"Hmm," he grabbed the jar, opened it, and downed the contents.
"What's that?" asked Donna.
"Anchovies," said Agatha.
Then, my uncle started to gesture again, his hands up and his palms out, "What is it?" asked Donna, "What else? It's a song. 'Mammy'. I don't know, 'Camptown Races'?"
"'Camptown Races'?!" asked The Doctor.
"Well, all right then. 'Towering Inferno'."
"It's a shock! Look! Shock! I need a shock!"
"All right, then, big shock coming up." Donna grabbed him and gave him a big kiss on the lips. Believe me The Doctor wasn't the only one who was shocked by that.
When the kiss was over, my uncle threw his head back and black smoke came pouring out of his mouth. "Ah!" he groaned, "Detox," then wiped his mouth, "I must do that more often." He looked at Donna, "I mean the-the detox."
"Doctor you are impossible!" said Agatha. My uncle clicked his tongue and Agatha said, "Who are you?"
That night, as we were sitting down for dinner a thunderstorm started outside.
"A terrible day for all of us," said The Doctor, "The professor struck down, Miss Chandrakala cruelly taken from us, and yet, we still take dinner."
"We are British, Doctor," said Lady Eddison, "What else must we do?"
"And then someone tried to poison me… Any one of you had the chance to put cyanide in my drink. But it gave my youngest niece, Annabelle, a rather brilliant idea." Annabelle smiled and I did as well. I was quite proud of the idea my daughter thought up.
"And what would that be?" asked the reverend.
"Well, poison," said Annabelle. Everyone else stopped eating, "Bon appétit…" she started eating her soup. The Doctor, Donna, and I jointed in, Then she continued, "I've laced the soup with pepper."
"Ah, I thought it was jolly spicy," said Hugh.
"But the active ingredient of pepper is piperine. Traditionally used as an insecticide."
Just then, there was a crack of thunder, "Oh, anyone got the shivers?" asked The Doctor.
There was another crash of thunder and the lights went out. One of the windows flew open and the wind snuffed out the candles.
"What the deuce is that?" asked Hugh.
" Listen! Listen! Listen! Listen!" said The Doctor as he stood up.
There was a loud buzzing. "No…no, it can't be!" said Lady Eddison.
Agatha stood up, "Show yourself, demon!"
"Nobody move!" said The Doctor, "No, don't! Stay where you are!"
Then the Vespoform showed itself. Greeves ushered Donna out of the room, I took Annabelle out, and The Doctor grabbed Agatha's arm, "Out! Out! Out! Out! Out!" said my uncle.
We walked into the hall outside the dining room. Greeves and Donna were already there. "Not you, Agatha," said The Doctor as he grabbed a sword off the wall, "You've got a long life to lead yet."
"Well we know the butler didn't do it," said Donna.
"Then who did?" asked The Doctor as we rushed back into dining room.
When we went back in the Vespiform was gone and the lights came back on. "My jewelry," said Lady Eddison, "the Firestone—it's gone! Stolen!"
"Roger," said Davenport sadly.
Robina screamed at the sight of Roger, slumped over, his head in his soup bowl and a knife in his back. Lady Eddison got up and walked around to the table to him, "My son…my child!"
A short time later, Donna and Annabelle walked into the sitting room. The Doctor was standing by the fireplace while Agatha sat on one sofa and I sat on the other. Donna sat next to Agatha and Annabelle sat next to me. "That poor footman," said Donna, "Roger's dead and he can't even mourn him. 1926. It's more like the dark ages."
"Did you enquire about the necklace?"
Annabelle nodded, "Lady Eddison brought it back from India. It's worth thousands."
"This thing can sting, it can fly… " I said, "It could wipe us all out in seconds—why is it playing this game?"
"Every murder is essentially the same," said Agatha, "they are committed because somebody wants something."
"What does a Vespiform want?" asked The Doctor.
"Doctor, stop it. The murderer is as human as you or I."
"You're right," The Doctor realized, "We've been so caught up with giant wasps, we've forgotten." He sat down on the couch next to me and Annabelle. Then he looked at Agatha, "You're the expert."
"Look, I told you. I'm just a…purveyor of nonsense."
"Oh, no, no, no, no, 'cause plenty of people write detective stories, but yours are the best. And why? Why are you so good, Agatha Christie? Because you understand. You've lived…you've fought…you've had your heart-broken. You know about people—their passions, their hope and despair and anger, all of those. Tiny huge things can turn the most ordinary person into a killer. Just think, Agatha. If anyone can solve this, it's you."
A short time, later we gathered everyone else in the sitting room. The Doctor was standing in front of the fireplace and addressed the group, "I've called you here on this endless night because we have a murderer in our midst. And when it comes to detection, there's none finer… Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Agatha Christie." My uncle had a seat on a cushioned bench, next to Donna, Annabelle, and myself.
Agatha took my uncles place in front of the fireplace," This is a crooked house…a house of secrets. To understand the solution, we must examine them all. Starting with you…Miss Redmond."
"But I'm innocent, surely," said Robina
"You've never met these people and these people never met you. I think the real Robina Redmond never left London. You're impersonating her!"
" How silly. What proof do you have?"
"You said you'd been to the toilet…"
"Oh, I know this," said Donna, "if she was really posh, she'd say 'loo'."
"Earlier today, Miss Noble and I found this on the lawn," said Agatha, as she picked up the tool case, "right beneath your bathroom window. You must have heard Miss Noble and young Miss Duncan were searching the bedrooms and you panicked. You ran upstairs and disposed of the evidence."
"I've never seen that thing before in my life," said Robina.
"What's inside it?" asked Lady Eddison.
"The tools of your trade, Miss Redmond, or should I say…the Unicorn," said Agatha, as she opened the case to show everyone what was inside, "You came to this house with one sole intention—to steal the Firestone!"
"Oh, all right then. It's a fair cop," said Robina, in a Cockney accent. "Yes, I'm the bleedin' Unicorn." She stood up and walked over toward Hugh, The Doctor got up and stood next to Agatha, "Ever so nice to meet you, I don't think. I took my chance in the dark and nabbed it." She reached into her dress and pulled out the necklace, "Go on then, ya nobs, arrest me. Sling me in jail." She threw the necklace at my uncle. He caught it and sat back down.
"So, is she the murderer?" asked Donna.
"Don't be so thick. I might be a thief but I ain't no killer." said The Unicorn. Then she went and sat back down.
"Quite," said Agatha, "There are darker motives at work, and, in examining this household…we come to you…Colonel."
"Damn it, woman! You with your perspicacity! You've rumbled me!" said Hugh then to the shock of everyone in the room, human and Time Lord alike, Hugh stood up.
"You—you can walk?" asked Lady Eddison, "But why?"
"My darling, how else could I be certain of keeping you by my side?"
" I don't understand."
"You're still a beautiful woman, Clemency. Sooner or later, some chap will turn your head. I couldn't bear that. Staying in the chair was the only way I could be certain of keeping you. Confound it, Mrs. Christie! How did you discover the truth?"
"Um, actually, I had no idea," said Agatha, "I was just going to say you were completely innocent."
"Ah… Oh," said Hugh.
"Sorry."
"Well, shall I sit down then?"
"I think you better had."
"So he's not the murderer?" asked Donna.
"Indeed not," said Agatha, "To find the truth…let's return…" The Doctor handed her Firestone and she continued, "…to this—far more than the Unicorn's object of desire. The Firestone has quite a history. Lady Eddison."
"I've done nothing!" said Lady Eddison.
"You brought it back from India, did you not? Before you met the Colonel. You came home with malaria and confined yourself to this house for six months, in a room that has been locked ever since, which I rather think means…"
"Stop, please!"
"I'm so sorry. But you had fallen pregnant in India…unmarried and ashamed, you hurried back to England with your confidante, a young maid, later to become housekeeper, Miss Chandrakala."
"Clemency! Is this true?" asked Hugh.
"My poor baby," said Lady Eddison, "I had to give him away. Oh, the shame of it."
"But you've never said a word!"
"I had no choice. Imagine the scandal, the family name. I'm British… I carry on."
"And it was no ordinary pregnancy," I said.
"How can you know that?" asked Lady Eddison.
"Excuse me, Agatha, but this is my territory. But when you heard that buzzing sound in the dining room, you said, 'It can't be'. Why did you say that?
"You'd never believe it."
"The Doctor, Teddy, and Annabelle have opened my mind to believe…many things," said Agatha as she had a seat.
"It was forty years ago," began Lady Eddison, "In the heat of Delhi one night. I was alone and that's when I saw it—a dazzling light in the sky. The next day, he came to the house—Christopher, the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Our love blazed like a wildfire and I held nothing back. And in return, he showed me the incredible truth about himself. He made himself human to learn about us. The wasp was his true shape. I loved him so much it didn't matter. But he was stolen from me. 1885, the year of the Great Monsoon. The River Jumna rose up and broke its banks. He was taken at the flood. But Christopher left me a parting gift—a jewel like no other. I wore it always. Part of me never forgot. I keep it close. Always."
"Just like a man," said The Unicorn, "flashes his family jewels and you end up with a bun in the oven."
"A 'poor little child'," said Agatha, "Forty years ago, Miss Chandrakala took that newborn babe to an orphanage. But Prof. Peach worked it out. He found the birth certificate."
"Oh, that's 'maiden'—maiden name." said Donna.
"Precisely."
"So she killed him."
"I did not!" said Lady Eddison.
"Miss Chandrakala feared that the professor had unearthed your secret," said Agatha, "She was coming to warn you."
"So she killed her," said Donna.
"I did not!" said Lady Eddison.
"Lady Eddison is innocent," said Agatha, "Because at this point… Doctor?"
"Thank you," said The Doctor, as he stood, "Teddy? Annabelle?" We joined my uncle at the front of the room. "Because at this point when we consider the lies and secrets and the key to these events, then we have to consider…it was you, Donna Noble…" He pointed at Donna.
"What? Who did I kill?" asked Donna.
"No one," said Annabelle, "But you said it all along, the vital clue—that this whole thing is being acted out like a murder mystery. Which means…it was you, Agatha Christie." She pointed at Agatha.
"I beg your pardon," said Agatha.
"So she killed them," said Donna.
"No," I Said, " but she wrote those brilliant books. And who's her greatest admirer? The moving finger points…at you, Lady Eddison,"
"Leave me alone!" said Lady Eddison.
"So she did kill them," said Donna.
"No!" said The Doctor. He turned to Lady Eddison, "but just think…last Thursday night, what were you doing?"
"Uh, I was uh…I was in the library," said Lady Eddison, "I was reading my favorite Agatha Christie thinking about her plots, and how clever she must be. How is that relevant?"
"Just think—what happened Thursday night?" I turned to the reverend.
"I'm sorry?" he said.
"You said on the lawn this afternoon, last Thursday, those boys broke into your church."
"That's correct…they did. I discovered the two of them—thieves in the night. I was most perturbed. But I apprehended them."
"Really? A man of God against two strong boys? A man in his forties? Or, should I say, forty years old…exactly."
"Oh, my God!" said Lady Eddison as she made a startling realization.
"Lady Eddison," said Annabelle, "Your child—how old would he be now?"
"Forty. He's…forty."
"Your child has come home."
"Ha! This is poppycock!" said the reverend.
"Oh?" said The Doctor, "You said you were taught by the Christian fathers, meaning, raised in an orphanage."
"My son! Can it be?" asked Lady Eddison.
"You found those thieves, Reverend, and you got angry," said Annabelle, "A deep anger for the first time in your life and it broke the genetic code. You changed. You realized your inheritance. After all these years…you knew who you were."
"Then it all kicks off because this…" I held up the Firestone, "…isn't just a jewel—it's a Vespiform telepathic recorder. It's part of you—your brain, your very essence. And when you activated so did the Firestone. It beamed your full identity directly into your mind. And, at the same time, it absorbed the works of Agatha Christie directly from Lady Eddison. It all became part of you."
"The mechanics of those novels formed a template in your brain," said The Doctor, "You killed in this pattern because that's what you think the world is. Turns out we are in the middle of a murder mystery. One of yours, Dame Agatha." Then, The Doctor sat on the arm of the sofa.
"'Dame'?" asked Agatha as she looked up at The Doctor.
"Oh, sorry, not yet."
"So he killed them? Yes? Definitely?" asked Donna.
"Yes."
"Well, this has certainly been a most entertaining evening," said the reverend, " Really, you can't believe any of this, surely, Lady Eddizzz—"
"Lady who?" asked The Doctor.
"Lady Eddizzzon…" struggled the reverend.
"Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar?"
" Don't make me angry," said the reverend as he stood.
"Why? What happens then?" asked The Doctor.
"I bet we won't like him when he's angry," I said.
"Damn it!" said the reverend, "You humanzzz! Worshipping your tribal sky godzzz! I am so much more! That night, the universe exploded in my mind! I wanted to take what wazz mine. And you, Agatha Christie, with your railway station bookstall romancezzz… What'zzz to stop me killing you?"
"Oh, my dear God!" said Lady Eddison, as she reached out to him, "My child!"
"What'zzz to stop me killing you all?" then the reverend transformed into the Vespiform.
"Forgive me!"
"No, Clemency!" said Hugh as him and Greeves pulled Lady Eddison away, "Keep away! Keep away, my darling!"
Agatha held up the Firestone, "No! No more murder! If my imagination made you kill, then my imagination will find a way to stop you, foul creature!" Then she ran out of the room.
Donna, myself, Annabelle, and The Doctor followed, "Wait! Now it's chasing us!" said Donna as we ran.
We ran out the door and closed the doors behind us. Just then, we heard a car horn honk, we turned and saw Agatha pulling up in her car. "Come on," I said, as we ran to her.
The Vespiform smashed through the front door, and Agatha said, "Over here! Come and get me, Reverend!"
"Agatha, what are you doing?" asked The Doctor.
"If I started this, Doctor, then I must stop it!" then Agatha drove off.
"Come on!" said my uncle as we ran to another car. My uncle got behind the wheel. Donna sat next to him while Annabelle and I got in the backset. Then we started to follow.
"Annabelle said this is the night Agatha Christie looses her memory," said Donna.
"Time is in flux, Donna!" said my daughter, "For all we know, this is the night Agatha Christie looses her life and history gets changed!"
"But where is she going?!" asked Donna.
We saw a sign at the side of the road that said, "Silent Pool".
"The lake! She's heading for the lake! What's she doing?" asked The Doctor.
Agatha stopped beside the lake and got out of the car just as we pulled up. She held up the Firestone and shouted, "Here I am! The honey in the trap. Come to me, Vespiform."
"She's controlling it." said Donna
We got out of the car and Annabelle said, "It's mind is based on her thought processes. They're linked."
"Quite so, Miss Duncan," said Agatha, "If I die, then this creature might die with me."
The Doctor looked up at the Vespiform, "Don't hurt her! You're not meant to be like this. You've got the wrong template in your mind."
"He's not listening," said Donna. She grabbed the Firestone from Agatha's hand and threw it in the lake. The Vespiform dove in the water after it. The water bubbled and glowed purple, "How do you kill a wasp? Drown it. Just like its father."
"Donna, that thing couldn't help itself," I said.
"Neither could I."
"Death comes as the end," said Agatha, "And justice is served."
"Murder at the vicar's rage," said The Doctor, I rolled my eyes, "Needs a bit of work."
"Just one mystery left, Doctor" said Agatha, as she looked at us three Time Lords, "Who exactly are you and your nieces? They seem closer than cousins… even closer than sisters…" But then before we could even start to answer Agatha doubled over in pain.
The Doctor reached out and lowered her to the ground, "Oh! It's the Firestone! It's part of the Vespiform's mind! It's dying and it's connected to Agatha!"
Agatha glowed with a purple light that soon faded and she fell unconscious, "It let her go," I said, "Right at the end, the Vespiform chose to safe someone's life."
"Is she all right, though?" asked Donna.
"Of course!" said Annabelle, "That explains the amnesia! It wiped her mind of everything that happened. The wasp, the murders…"
"And us," said Donna, "She'll forget about us."
"Yeah, but we solved another riddle," said The Doctor, "The mystery of Agatha Christie. And tomorrow morning, her car gets found by the side of the lake. A few days later, she turns up at a hotel in Harrogate…with no idea of what just happened." We stood outside the TARDIS and watched as Agatha paused at the steps leading to The Harrogate Hotel, "No one'll ever know." Then she headed toward the hotel.
"Lady Eddison, the colonel, and all the staff—what about them?" asked Donna.
"A shameful story. They'd never talk of it—too British," I said.
"While the Unicorn does a bunk back to London Town," said my uncle, "She can never say she was there."
"But what happens to Agatha?" asked Donna.
I looked at Annabelle, one more chance to test her, "What did happen to her, Annabelle?"
My daughter smiled, "She lived a great life! Met another man, married again. Saw the world. And Wrote and wrote and wrote." I gave Annabelle a little side hug.
"She never thought her books were any good, though," said Donna, "And she must have spent all those years wondering."
We headed back in the TARDIS, and I said "The thing is, I don't think she ever quite forgot. A Great mind like that, some of the details kept bleeding through. All the stuff her imagination could use. Like Miss Marple!"
"I should have made her sign a contract."
"And—where is it?" said my uncle as he headed over to the console, "Hold on… Here we go." He lifted a section of the grating and pulled out a chest, " 'C'." he opened it. "That is 'C' for Cyberman." he pulled out an old Cyberman chest plate, "'C' for Carrionites." he pulled out the globe they were imprisoned in, as well as a bust of Caesar. "And…" he pulled out a paperback copy of Death in the Clouds by Agatha Christie, "Christie, Agatha. Look at that." he showed it to Donna on the cover was a large wasp.
"Somewhere at the back of her mind, it all lingered," I said.
"And that's not all. Look at the copyright page" said Annabelle.
Donna took the book and looked inside," 'Facsimile edition published in the year…5 billion!?'"
"People never stop reading them. She is the best-selling novelist of all time."
Donna sighed, "But she never knew."
"Well, no one knows how they're gonna be remembered," said The Doctor, "We can only hope for the best. Maybe that's what kept her writing. The same thing that keeps me traveling. Onwards?"
"Onwards," said Donna.
We all got up and The Doctor started the TARDIS on its way. We stood there and watched the central rotor rise and fall as we headed out on our next adventure.
A/N: Thank you everyone who has reviewed and said such nice things about this story. I've been working hard and I really have been enjoying it. Please keep up the reviews and keep reading. I have to say that I'm starting to come to a final idea on if Teddy is going to regenerate or not. Send me your thoughts as either a PM or as a review.