All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.

Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652

Chapter 34

Remy's POV

I am well and truly flummoxed (yesterday's Word of the Day). Recently, I've heard my Range guys talking and gleaned (that's today's Word of the Day) that Sunday, May 12 is Mother's Day. What in the name of Sweet Fanny Adams am I going to give my mom? I just know that Julie Martine will give Mom a thoughtful and heartfelt gift. Rex and my turtle Freddy think their greatest gift is that they make small poop.

Mom and her man have been discussing gifts and visits to their mothers and grandmothers this weekend. It sounds complicated. And being Mom, she always makes the effort to tell Valerie and Mary Lou what awesome moms they are.

Well, as Hippocrates said, "Desperate times call for desperate measures", so I send out a mental SOS to my Dad Diesel for some help. And his credit card would also be nice.

Until Dad pops in I will ponder gift ideas. Mom's Man likes spoiling Mom - he wants her to have nice things. Yeah, she enjoys the expensive vacations, jewelry, clothes, and cars but that's not who Mom really is. I've seen her blue eyes light up just as much from a cup of hot chocolate as from a pair of diamond and sapphire earrings!

I just got an ESP message from Dad D. to meet him in the backyard at Rangeman so I let myself out with my Hector fob. Mom and Santos are out on a sales call so we can strategize away from Mom. As long as Dad and I are just hanging out in the yard, all will be copacetic (next Tuesday's Word of the Day) with Mom's Man since the guys on monitor duty will already have told him that we're out here.

Dad D. gets his iPad out of his ratty old backpack and we start the Unmentionable mind-meld. Dad and I agree that Mom values people for who they are and not the size of their bank accounts or stock portfolios so we look at less expensive gifts that she would like. Ella cooks for Mom and her man so we eliminate a Hello Kitty waffle maker but I'll bet that Tank would like one! There are already Keurig coffee machines in the fifth floor breakroom and in their seventh floor apartment. Hmm, a foot spa bath? Mom is more apt to soak her whole body in the bathtub rather than just her feet. Oh, a lava lamp - wouldn't Mom's Man love one of those in their professionally decorated apartment? And, a Felix the Cat wall clock with moving eyes! How cool is that?

Finally, Dad swipes his finger (that's why I need his help since I don't have fingers) and the gift of my dreams appears on the screen. We both start chortling (next Thursday's Word of the Day). Dad orders it to be delivered the Friday before Mother's Day and types Rex's, Freddy's, and my name on the gift card.

Friday morning arrives. Dad is tracking the package on his phone and we meet the delivery person in the Rangeman lobby while also letting the guys on the front desk know that it's not to be run through the scanner. They can see it upstairs later if they are that curious.

Dad and I go up to the fifth floor where Mom is doing searches in her cubicle. Dad D. presents the gift and says it's from her three boys for Mother's Day. Mom is so excited as she opens the box. Her eyes light up in an electric shade of blue and her smile is blinding. My Mom is now the proud owner of a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine! Take that, Tiffany's.

~ A/N Happy Mother's Day to all. Yes, they still make Snoopy Sno-Cone Machines. Your reviews are appreciated!