Remnants

by General Rage

From Halo's ashes, a mismatched Alliance is born. UNSC soldiers now serve alongside both Batarian deserters and shifty Jackal Space Pirates. Now Shepard and Master Chief have to keep these strange bedfellows from killing one another before they can stop an emergent new threat to the galaxy. The Next Swashbuckling Chapter of the Wormhole Chronicles.

16. Dead Memories

Chapter 15: Dead Memories

Wise men have interpreted dreams, and the Gods have Laughed

-H.P. Lovecraft

The dark silence of space surrounded Tali now, the inky black reaching out for countless lightyears. Within it, somewhere, she knew her true enemy lay in wait. It was expecting her to fail, but she would not let it. As she plodded along the outer hull of the Fallen Serpent, Iron Maiden's "Starblind" played in her helmet. Boz had made a short announcement a few minutes ago, assuring everyone he was fine and intending to continue the broadcast. He even threw in a meek little message to her personally. It was just three words, "I forgive you." She clutched at her heart from that, but pressed on all the same.

Boz wasn't the only Jackal on her mind. Retz's words had burrowed in deep and they refused to leave. Because in a sense, she knew he was right. She was acting crazy. This was crazy. She had attacked Boz and several other kig-yar out of a blind rage. She was grateful in the end she hadn't killed anyone, but part of her feared how close she came. She had watched Boz quiver in fear and anguish, he sounded so fearful, yet she blocked it all out. She kept threatening him and she honestly wasn't sure anymore how legitimate those threats were.

She feared the influence of the voice now more than ever. She knew its claws were in her mind, stabbing deep. She could feel the pain even now. Tali hoped these close calls were more its doing than hers, but she wasn't so sure now. Or, if it was the Voice's influence, how long she'd be able to fight him if it was driving her to nearly murdering people in fits of anger?

Despite these doubts, she had to press on, she had to save everyone. Her magnetic boots were keep her lashed to the hull for now. All she needed to do was keep walking. She'd find her entry onto the carrier soon enough. This would be a long spacewalk, but she'd get where she needed to go at least with little interruption.

She crested the edge of the vessel once more, the sound of the music her only constant companion beyond her thoughts. As she looked to the dark void once more, she thought again of the voice. The creature speaking to her and the relic it was using to do so. Tali's eyes wandered towards her omni-tool.

"DOT, what's the status of your analysis so far?" She asked.

"The encryption is difficult to bypass, but we have located a number of relevant datapoints," the AI explained. "We shall continue compiling for future reference."

Tali just sighed, nothing to be done until the AI was finished. She looked back up from the omni-tool, hoping to see space again and feel some kind of calming effect among the stars. Instead, she found another shadow. She stopped in her tracks instantly pulling her weapons. The inky black around the figure, the visage of the voice, it had never been so clear before. It was a putrid thing, with many arms and a wretched nightmarish neck that seemed to stretch and fold as it peered around. Tentacles of a sort lashed out from the back and its bottom half was almost serpent-like itself. Tali kept her gun trained on the shadow, despite knowing it wasn't really there.

"Go. Away." She demanded.

"I grow stronger with every passing moment," the creature claimed. "My influence rises. You shall soon be broken and then you will realize the truth."

"I know enough of the truth," Tali informed it angrily. "Stop feeding me yours. You turned yourselves into monsters, that's all that matters."

"We transcended, we became more," the shadow stated. "And you could be more too. This is our gift, one we grant to you."

"Save it," Tali snapped in return. "I don't want it. I will not become your puppet."

"You still deny our resemblance to one another," the creature declared. "For we are so alike. You have done what we have. I see your mind, lost child. I see your memories. Your dreams."

Tali placed her fingers on the trigger of her gun. It would do no good, but it helped to feel like she had some semblance of power.

"We are nothing like you," she scowled.

"You know the fruits of creation," the shadow claimed. "Of the ability to birth life. Your only mistake was similar to ours. You let that life gain control of itself, you waited too long to snuff it when it became rebellious. And in the end, it destroyed your people, leaving you adrift."

"What happened between my people and the Geth wasn't the same thing," Tali shouted in anger. "We didn't turn ourselves into a damn plague out of petty revenge."

"Petty?" the shadow laughed. "You call what we once were petty? How can you still understand so little after all that was shown to you?"

"Because I don't care," Tali responded vehemently. "Because I'm going to kill you, that's why."

The shadowy monster simply waved one of its wretched arms to the stars. Tali couldn't help but follow and saw within the void now was a planet. One that hadn't been there before. It was barren for a brief time, and then began to blossom, grow green, lush with beauty.

"We built worlds, seeded life within countless systems throughout the galaxy," the shadow claimed. "Our power was unmatched, our creations divine. Our art was unparalleled by all. We could create or..."

The creature's fist suddenly closed and the planet withered and died just as quickly as it had come alive. Seas dried up, plants died and then the very earth cracked until the sphere ripped itself apart. The illusion was near blinding, but Tali refused to be taken in by the display.

"The galaxy isn't your plaything anymore," she told it. "The Forerunners saw to that."

"You think their rebellion righteous?" The monster screeched. "It was no different than your Geth. They betrayed our plans, betrayed our vision. We gave them life and they responded as ungrateful children, spoiled and rotten, belligerent and wicked."

"Can't say I blame them," Tali snarled in return. "Not when their parents were such total bosh'tets."

The shadow rose angrily and Tali's headache flared up. She kept the pistol up, pointing at the creature, refusing to yield.

"Your mind is fracturing," it claimed. "It is but nothing before us. You condemn us for how we used our gifts, but how are we so different? Your people created life, they created beings to carry out their vision. The Geth rejected you, they resented you for being their masters and they turned against you. An entire galaxy condemned you for this. Why can you not see that we are the same? That we can offer you true glory, final victory. Resisting will only lead to ruin, of yourself and all you care about."

"Because unlike you, I know now what we did was wrong," Tali screamed in rage. "You cannot create life and then just treat it like a toy! You cannot take such a responsibility and abuse it! That's what my ancestors did with the Geth and I will not allow my people to keep making the same mistakes! Because now I see, more than ever, what that leads to. It leads to you, to what you've become."

The shadow settled itself suddenly, but began to advance on Tali. The quarian held her ground, her weapon pointing right at its head. Or at least what she assumed was its head.

"Your words say one thing, but your rage is more truthful," it spoke. "Your actions have shown your true colors. Your anger, your hatred, it all burns ever more brightly. It is delicious."

She placed her weapon at point blank range into the creature's forehead.

"I. Am going. To kill you."

"Death is beyond us now. We have surpassed it." the shadow cackled. "We belong to the infinite. We are part of it. Everlasting peace is at hand. For you. For all of you. Soon, once you have fallen, you shall see how high you can truly rise. Death is but the doorway. We shall guide all to the true serenity beyond."

Tali shut her eyes and pulled the trigger. There was a single shot. When she let herself see again, there was nothing. The shadow was gone, the voice was gone. No, that wasn't right, it was still here, it was just quiet again. This couldn't be stopped with a bullet to an imaginary monster's head. She needed to find the source. She needed to stop it there.

She wouldn't have to go much further if she kept on her targeted route. She was already coming up to the maintenance airlock that would get her back inside the Ascendant Justice. That would probably be the last really easy part of any of this. If she had managed to keep her escape hidden longer, like she had originally planned, maybe circumstances would've been different. By now though, everyone in the fleet would be on high alert. Getting to engine core would be a trial in and of itself.

Overriding the safety locks, Tali scrambled inside airlock proper. She prepared the cycling sequence and and air rushed inside. She relaxed herself somewhat as the doors to the airlock opened and there was no sign of anyone waiting for her. Good, she hadn't picked an obvious entry point. She had some time to get to somewhere more secure and plan her next move. Lucky her, these Covenant Carriers were so big that even with as many soldiers and Marines aboard it as there were, they still basically made up a skeleton crew.

She began to head off along her designated path, as it would take her closer to the engine core. Then, she stopped, as she felt something behind her. Another illusion? More of the voice? Tali spun around expecting the shadowy Precursor to be back. She saw nothing instead. Her eyes scanned the area as she sifted through her visor's various optical sensory displays. Perhaps she had missed something. Perhaps- There! Something on her electronics scanner! Moving but unseen! She pulled up her omni-tool and fired a low level overload at the target.

Appearing before her, energy arching over its body and forced to the ground on its back, was Legion. It had been using a cloaking field from the UNSC Armory. Shocked and appalled at what she had done, Tali rushed over to the geth and moved to help it, but briefly hesitated. Legion could only be here for one reason after all.

"I'm sorry," she told the Geth. "I- I didn't want to... I was scared and I... I thought you were one of the Spartans or something, I...!"

Legion rolled onto into a kneeling position and tried to stand.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, you are unwell," it tried to say, it's various body components fluctuating as it spoke.

"Believe me, I know," Tali told it succinctly. "I'm trying to use it. How did you even guess I'd be here?"

"Calculation on odds simple," Legion said. "You would not use nearest entrance in order to return, nor would you use furthest or enter through hangar. You would use intermediate distanced airlock close to hangar bay. More ground for search parties to cover, too many possible entries to feasibly discern."

"But not for a Geth," Tali sighed. "I suppose I should've figured if anyone could find me it would be you."

Legion's motor functions eventually returned and it stood back up, although the shock from the overload had taken its toll. It had not tried to restrain her for one, right now Legion was just trying to talk her down. It was the only means open to it. Evidenced by the fact it kept trying to negotiate with her.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, your actions are not conducive to unit cohesion," it claimed. "You have placed yourself and others at considerable risk."

"I know it looks that way, but I'm trying to save us, Legion," Tali informed it. "Save all of us."

"The Precursor threat is imaginary," Legion claimed. "While evidence discovered so far suggests they were real, the data you are using to pursue them is corrupted. The relic is the true source of your current affliction."

So he had been fully briefed, or at least updated. Tali wondered momentarily if that was a cause for relief, that the others had realized she was right. That the Precursors were real, that they became the Flood, that more were still out there waiting to strike and only by striking now did they have a chance to stop them. Legion's words told a different story though.

"The Relic is my only chance at stopping them," Tali exclaimed. "With the information it's feeding me I can find-"

"The information is corrupted," Legion insisted. "You cannot trust it. The illogical actions it has driven you towards are evidence enough of that."

"I know it's dangerous, Legion," Tali assured the Geth. " It did this to me, but it's my only hope at fixing me as well. My only chance at killing the voice."

"That logic does not follow," Legion declared. "The relic's influx of information caused you to see visions. Inputing more will not cause them to cease."

"If it leads me to where the voice is coming from-"

"It is coming from the Relic," Legion stated. "That much is clear. Creator Tali'Zorah, you must see this. Your intelligence is greater than this. You are damaging yourself. We cannot allow it to continue."

Legion extended its arm and held out its palm.

"Surrender the relic," it asked, allowing its headplates to become more relaxed. "We will return to Shepard Commander. We can assist you."

Tali looked at Legion, staring at her with earnest willingness to help. She could see that clearly, even if her mind was fogged with nightmares. Legion, the one Geth she could confidently call a friend, at the very least a companion. The Geth whose existence held the greatest hope for her people for reconciliation. For peace with the synthetics their ancestors created.

She reached for the relic, pulling it from the container she held it in. She moved to hand it to Legion. The Geth stretched out, intent on taking it. Only for Tali to raise her omni-tool again and fire an overload charge into the synth. The blast was low yield, enough to disable only, but Legion still sputtered about as the energy surged through its platform. Tali rushed to grab the Geth.

"I'm sorry, Legion," she cried, tears welling up as she grasped at its head. "I can't take the risk. I've come too far to give up now!"

She grappled at a port near Legion's head and plugged her omni-tool into it directly. Legion eventually stopped stumbling around and returned to a placid state. She had blocked out the programs controlling it, forcefully sending them into a standby mode. Similar to when she had been doing diagnostics on Legion's systems before, just without permission this time. The platform was under her direct control now, Legion would sleep comfortably for now, Ancestors willing.

"I'm sorry," Tali said, allowing the tears to finally flow. "I'm so sorry, Legion. You... you can hate me for this later. I... I just need help. I need your help to save us all. Even you. I... I didn't want this. I just... I don't know what else to do."

It was only now she wondered, how many friends would she have left when this was done? How many people would trust her again? Even if she won, if she killed the voice, would anyone care that she had saved them? Or would they all just see her as the quarian who attacked them, turned on them, who went insane in her attempts to save them? Who violated so much of them, even if it was for their well-being? Then again, hadn't she done that before? What was the point of feeling guilty over it now? What was the point of saving a world when you knew it wouldn't want you anymore regardless?

As despair washed over her, a warm hand rested on her shoulder.

"My daughter, do not fear," her mother said. "For I am with you. You are the greatest hope for our people. For them to know peace between organic and machine. Legion will forgive you. They all will forgive when they see why you did what had to be done. You will defeat pain and suffering itself, my daughter. You will bring peace."

"Yes," Tali said distantly. "It will all be... it will be worth it when they see. I'll kill the voice. I'll... I'll stop him. I'll save them."

"Go, Tali," her mother beckoned as she left again. "There is still time. Salvation awaits."

Tali had Legion's body follow her. She needed to get to a secure place. It was the only chance she had now. There would be too many Marines, too many Soldiers, too many Batarians in her way otherwise. Maybe a few Jackals, but she doubted they'd be there in force. Either way, she needed to distract them. Legion was her only chance at accomplishing that now.

---

As he stood in his cabin, weary and frustrated at everything, Shepard rubbed his temple, trying to process everything Taq and Cortana were trying to say, At the very least, even Chief seemed confused by it all. A small comfort, but at least he didn't feel completely alone in his bewilderment.

"Let me get this straight," he tried to suss out. "An AI is in the relic and it is talking to Tali?"

"It's not an AI," Taq informed him bluntly. "How many times do I have to go over this? It's a memory, an electronically induced memory of someone. Similar to an AI Matrix, but not. It's not synthetic life, it's some kind of psychic mental residue transfered into data and code and other kinds of computer shit."

"I really don't see the difference," Shepard told her firmly. "Aren't AI based on digitized brainwaves of people who were once alive?"

"Normally, but this is different," Cortana stated, bringing up the relevant data on the Master Chief's Omni-Tool. "We're dealing with the digitized form of the thought patterns of something beyond anything we've ever encountered. We're talking an organic being capable of transferring its own mental energies into code and data. It's the living memory of someone processed into the relic, every single solitary experience of that subject's life downloaded into it."

"Said relic is used to amplify technology," Taq continued. "So, what happens when you transfer memories and thoughts that were digitzed into it? Simple, you create a conduit for which those memories and thoughts can be transfered under the right circumstances. You create a record of yourself that can, for all intents and purposes, communicate with others and feed them your life story."

This did not sound at all like technology. This sounded like voodoo magic more than anything. Shepard could hardly believe it, even though Taq and Cortana seemed so sure of it themselves. Besides, was it really so different from what happened with him and the Beacon on Eden Prime? Not really, that was a message encoded into his head. All it did though was warn him of an incoming threat. It never tried to direct his actions, there was no intelligence behind it. He couldn't deny the similarities were there though and it made him feel all the more guilty for not taking Tali's word at more face value than he did.

The weirdness of this theory aside, the most important thing to him was still unclear.

"What does any of this have to do with Tali?" He asked. "How can she hear this memory but not us?"

"Because we're not meant to," Cortana informed him. "We don't meet the parameters. This thing has a very specific mental frequency. It latched onto it through Tali because she met the parameters. She had the one thing in that room on the bridge during that power surge that was unique to her alone."

Shepard realized what they were talking about almost instantly.

"She had been infected with those spores," he reasoned, the shock permeating his face. "Mordin electro-shocked them, but they left something behind. The psychic scarring, her mental defense to the Flood, it gave it a way to get inside."

"Exactly," Cortana confirmed. "Whatever Tali experienced in the swamp left an imprint on her. One that could warn her, it seems, of a specific Flood Form or the Flood in general. But it also left the door open for this memory to connect with her. When the surge went off, it detected the opposing psychic signal and latched onto it, like a leech. Only instead of sucking her dry, it's pouring data into her. Thought patterns and memories of this..."

"Precursor?" Shepard asked, a stern, serious look on his face.

Cortana nodded sadly.

"From what we can see, yes," she admitted. "These are the memories of a Precursor being downloaded into her head. We believe they are influencing her actions, manipulating her into doing what it wants under the guise of her own thoughts. The longer it stays connected, the more Tali can't tell the difference."

"Worse yet, to that end it could be reading Tali's own memories as well," Taq explained further. "Using them to cover its tracks, to make it look like its all her idea. And there is nothing more insidious than an idea from someone else implanted into your head. Ask any politician ever."

"But what are these memories?" Chief interjected. "Who did they come from? What does it want with Tali?"

Cortana searched through the data on her screen, while Taq tried her best to explain.

"The Forerunners did research on the Relic, they were able to crack who it was," the kig-yar began, her tone low and concerned. "The best translation I got says that they gave him a nickname, the Chronicler or Historian or something about collecting stories and shit. According to what the Forerunners found, he was some kind of Precursor record keeper. He cataloged the extensive history of their species and every asshole God thing they did. All the failed experiments and successes and whatever fucked up things an alien that can create life at will can do."

"So Tali was right," Shepard said, sounding astonished. "The Precursors were real and they could do all this, Create life at will, I mean. You confirmed it?"

"Well I'm going mostly off what I can discern from a dead language and what Tali was apparently screaming about," Taq responded curtly. "Cut me a break here if it ain't all definitive. Anyway, this Precursor, he didn't want to die with all his knowledge and experiences being lost. So he found our Relic, long before the Forerunners picked it up during their little failed Exodus trip, mind you, and downloaded all his thoughts and memories into it. He knew that with the artifact's ability to amplify machines and technology, that this would effectively freeze his mind in time. Allowing him to live on in the relic in a certain sense."

"Like a backup hard-drive for your brain," Shepard reasoned. "But one powerful enough to preserve everything you once were."

"Even a personality," Cortana added astutely. "From what we could ascertain, the Precursor must've done this prior to succumbing to whatever process it was that turned it into a Flood creature. Most likely in an attempt to make sure that, even after they altered themselves, a piece of what they once were would remain. This is all assuming the information it fed into Tali's head about the Precursors becoming the Flood is accurate of course, but given that these memories have latched onto the psychic scarring Tali got from her encounter with the Flood..."

"It would be weird if that was just a coincidence," Shepard said, concluding Cortana's own statement.

If even a fraction of this was accurate, and Shepard didn't really doubt any of it was at this point, the implications were rather dangerous. Tali's mind was now an open book to something ancient and terrifying, using a mixture of its memories and her own against her. Turning her against the very crew she trusted while making her believe it is all her idea. That all helped explain what was going on. What he wanted to know though was how they fixed it?

"Just tell me we can cure her," Shepard pleaded.

"In theory, we find a way to break the psychic hold the foreign memory has on Tali," Cortana explained. "If it can't transmit, it can't mess with her head. We can destroy the relic..."

"Which we're not even sure we can do by the way," Taq was quick to point out.

While the kig-yar didn't want Tali harmed, it was no surprise to Shepard she didn't want her relic damaged either. Not that is seemed like that was an option, how did you destroy something that was this old and this powerful safely? He didn't want to take the risk of it blowing up the ship along with it.

"Or we can find a way to force the memory back into stasis," Cortana continued. "That would potentially mean this could be a problem again if it finds a way to restart itself once more though. So I'm not sure how viable that is to be honest."

"Can't we just delete this memory?" Chief asked. "It's not an AI, but it's similar to one in theory. It is code after all."

"I don't think it has a matrix to smash though," Cortana warned. "I'm not saying we can't purge the memory from the relic, but I'm hesitant to do that while it is attached to Tali like it is. We could do more harm than good."

"So what is the answer?" Shepard asked frantically, his reserved tone quickly vanishing.

Cortana held her chin in her digital hand, inquisitively looking at the notes around her.

"The scarring that the Flood left on Tali's mental defenses may have given this thing an opening, but it also warned Tali of danger long before any of this happened," Cortana explained thoughtfully. "It's possible it might be the answer to kicking the Precursor's memory out of her. Perhaps even send a big enough residual psychic backlash in kind to destroy the memory utterly. The problem is, she has to weaken the signal that currently has a hold over her."

"And at the moment, she thinks she is fighting it when she's really playing into its hands," Taq continued. "Even then, realizing she's been fooled might not be enough. The signal works both ways, it latched onto Tali's mind because the scarring gave the memory something to feed off of and spread to."

"So what's it feeding off of?" Shepard asked frantically. "Her own memories?"

"I don't think so," Taq replied, crossing her arms. "The more control this memory exerts, the more violent, irrational and spiteful Tali becomes. Altering her own personality, dredging up toxic emotions and fears."

Shepard's mind clicked at that. The attack on Miranda, her angry rant on Boz's show, this Memory from the Relic was forcing her darkest fears and negative thoughts to boil over. That was what was feeding it.

"It's using those darker emotions to become powerful, assert control," he reasoned. "Okay, how do we use that against it?"

"Not us... Tali," Cortana reiterated. "Whatever hold it has on her, Tali has to confront it herself. The best we can do is try to make her realize what she needs to do and convince her to follow through on it."

So if they could just get to Tali and talk this whole thing out with her, maybe she'd realize the truth herself. Maybe they could get through to her. Convince her to shake off the Precursor in her head, kill it even if they were lucky.

"If we can just catch her, maybe we can make her see reason," Shepard said bluntly.

"We need to figure out her plan then," Chief said. "Where would she be heading now?"

"Well, she believes we need to confront this voice to kill it and stop it from destroying us all," Cortana reminded them all. "Chances are she's going to try and launch us into Slipspace and send us straight to the thing's doorstep. Odds are though that the coordinates stuck in her head are not what she thinks they are."

"So we stop her from reaching the Ascendant Justice's engine room," Shepard declared.

"Shouldn't be a problem for the several squads of UNSC Soldiers and Marines then," Chief suggested. "They're between her and any direct path towards the engine room."

"Yeah, but this is Tali," Shepard reminded him. "She's not stupid enough to go charging at all those well-armed combatants and just hope she bulldozes through them. She has a plan, we need to think around it."

"You have some ideas?" Chief asked.

Shepard just nodded and looked to Cortana.

"Get me a layout of the Justice," he ordered. "We need to get some pieces in place fast."

---

Standing in the main corridor leading to the engine room, Kowalski kept watch with assault rifle readied. While loaded only with non-lethal training rounds for the moment, he was still dreading the whole confrontation. While he wasn't as familiar with Tali as the rest of the Normandy crew, Samara had filled her in. She was a good person, kind, intelligent. All of this was not her, not at all. If what they said was true, then that relic had done a serious number on her somehow.

"So we just hit her with these non-lethal rounds until she drops?" Ellingham asked. "That simple huh?"

"Yeah, because simple is what this entire tour has been about, hasn't it?" Pearson snorted flippantly. "Nope, I'm betting his does not go to plan at all."

"You could sound more concerned about that, you know?" Ellingham informed him curtly.

"I could, but I choose not to as a coping mechanism," Pearson responded, keeping his tazer rifle readied.

"I'd figure the alien weapon would help you there," Ramirez claimed.

Pearson held the tazer weapon to eye level and chuckled.

"Hey, if it's good enough for a bunch of scummy batarian slavers to keep their property from running off, then maybe for once it can actually do some good," he claimed. "Plus come on, its a tazer. Don't tell me you never wanted to fire one of these before."

"Can't say I have," Ramirez claimed. "But, if they say it's non-lethal, I guess I can't complain. Maybe I'm just jealous cause you got the cool tech while me and Ellingham got the low tech beanbag guns. We didn't even luck out with training rounds."

"I wanted the hardening foam cannon, but apparently no one thought to bring one," Ellingham claimed. "Lame."

"Hey, we're Marines, not policemen, we don't get that kind of riot gear," Pearson reminded him. "Also, the training rounds don't come cheap round here. Supply and demand you know. That and no one thought we'd be, you know, shooting at one of our own... again. This better not become a habit."

Kowalski remained silent, he didn't have much to add. All he could do was feel worried for a friend of Samara's, running out there, out of her mind. Samara had told him to take care, that while she was committing great errors, the fault was not her own. She was under the sway of something dark. The asari was off somewhere else, she said they had a plan to help the quarian. She wouldn't say more. He hoped the plan meant they wouldn't have to open fire on Tali at all then, non-lethal rounds or no.

It was then that Kowalski spotted something in the shadow of the corridor in front of him. It was low to the ground, didn't look to be Tali's height, but he raised his weapon all the same, his training taking over.

"Movement," he warned the others.

One by one, Marines took up positions at barricades, crates and re-purposed Covenant shield barriers. As they aimed down the corridor, the rolling light became easier to see. It wasn't long before it was revealed to be a combat drone, a purple one to be exact.

"Hey that's the quarian's drone," Ramirez noted.

Agley, himself holding a tazer rifle looked relieved.

"Oh man, for a second there I got worried she might have hacked some Covie Ghost or whatever," he said, almost laughing at his previous fear. "I mean, we can take one little drone."

That was when more lights appeared, all purple, all low to the ground. One by one, out of the darkness, drones rolled into view, electric energy spiking between them all, electronic chirps sounding from them all, becoming less cute and cheerful as they began to echo within the corridor itself. Kowalski tried to count, coming to about forty drones facing them, maybe more.

"How about a small army of them?" Ramirez asked.

"Damn it, Agley! You had to jinx us!" Ellingham shouted in a rage.

Out of nowhere, a creeping crescendo of music rose above the gathering of drones. It was a song of some kind, straight off of BBR. As the first chord reached a peak, the drones rushed forward, electric arcs spewing from them all. The assorted Maines and Army Troopers fired back all at once, not waiting to let the drones close the distance. Some fired their non-lethal rounds, others switched back to regular bullets. All the while the song itself became the drones' battlecry.

You'll take my life, but I'll take yours too!

You'll fire your musket, but I'll run you through!

So when you're waiting for the next attack,

You better stand, there's no turning back!

Kowalski fumbled with his own regular bullets, switching out the training rounds for them. He hadn't been expecting this and he was somewhat relieved he wasn't shooting at Tali now. However, to see a legion of drones attacking him in her stead was not really much better. He let loose with his assault rifle, gunning down at least one drone, but another quickly took its place in the charge.

The bugle sounds and the Charge begins,

But on this battlefield no one wins!

The smell of acrid smoke and horses' breath,

As we plunge on into certain death!

Pearson and Agley had better luck, as their tazer shots killed the drones pretty quickly. The electro shocks more or less disrupted their circuitry and stopped them cold. All the same, even with the drones charging at them all, the Marines held their ground, even as the horde of energy balls rushed through the lines and began shocking the Marines themselves. Kowalski could tell that these attacks were non-lethal themselves, as all they seemed to do was incapacitate Marines or merely daze them. The drones were then quickly picked off by other Marines nearby.

As he was observing this, one of the drones got far too close and nearly zapped him. Luckily he ducked down into cover. Not that helped much, as the drone rolled around and prepared to fire again. Kowalski unloaded into it, killing it. He then rose back up to keep firing, even as the drones continued coming, breaking through their ranks and sectioning off the squads from each other, surrounding them.

The Horse he sweats with fear, we break to run

The mighty roar of the Russian guns!

And as we race towards the human wall,

The screams of pain as my comrades fall!

It was then Kowalski realized, Tali didn't send these things to clear the way for her. She had sent them to keep them trapped here. To tie them down at this corridor. Even as the current wave of drones started to ebb, another came up from behind it, another forty or so, all charging headlong right at them.

We hurdle bodies that lay on the ground,

And the Russians fire another round!

We get so near, yet so far away,

We won't live to fight another day!

Kowalski kept firing all the same, even as the song kept playing. It was evident though, that they had miscalculated their approach. He wasn't the only one who realized it either. He could see several squads pulling back to secondary, as their positions became untenable. Soldiers and Marines rushed back as others dragged their dazed or injured comrades out of the incoming charge. Even Pearson had realized what was going on.

"They're trying to trap us here! We need to fall back to the Engine Room! Call more support!"

"But that's probably what she wants!" Ellingham shouted over his continued fire.

"Well if we don't pull from the other groups we're going to get overwhelmed either way!" Pearson argued. "Come on!"

They fell back, but only to find a better place to hold. Kowalski thought of Samara's words, about the plan the Normandy was enacting. If anyone could be one step ahead of their crewmate it was them. At least he hoped so.

---

Even though she wasn't an AI, even though she wasn't sentient in any fashion, Tali still hated having to do this. She hated sending Chiktikka to attack the Marines. Her fists clenched in anger at herself every time one of her cloned Drones shocked a Marine or a Marine shot one of them down, only for another to pop up and repeat the process. It was against everything she believed in, sending others to fight her battles.

Worse yet was how she was accomplishing it. She had boosted the cooldown rate for Chiktikka before, along with increasing the range with assistance from another hologram projector she had cannibalized during her trip to the armory. For this though, she had needed far more processing power.

Legion's platform was required, as it could hold and disseminate information far faster and with greater frequency then any omni-tool could. With the Geth programs that made up Legion on standby, it allowed Tali to process the Combat Drone protocol through several runtimes. Allowing her to create copies of Chiktikka and send them out on missions. It was why she had been both happy and saddened to see Legion, she had hoped to do it without their platform. But mother had been right, she had needed them in the end.

While she had made sure to set every drone's default combat subroutine to "non-lethal", it didn't lessen the sickening feeling in her stomach. She had betrayed Legion's trust, she had attacked the UNSC for only doing their jobs and, worst of all, violated her own principles. Chiktikka was never meant to be used this way. She had designed the drone herself as companion and defensive unit. She was never meant to be used as the bulwark of a mini-army. Now she was cannon fodder and there was no one Tali could blame for any of this but herself.

She wondered, was this what her ancestors were like? When they used the Geth as military units? That would make her more like them than she felt comfortable with admitting. She was after all forcing Legion's platform to walk with her using her omni-tool. That wasn't too dissimilar from what her ancestors did, wasn't it? If so, then maybe the shadowy voice had a point. Maybe they were similar, they were... no, she told herself angrily, no, she was nothing like them. This wasn't out of spite, this wasn't out of revenge. Whatever she felt about the UNSC and their xenophobia, she was not their enemy, she was not out to destroy them on a whim, she was trying to save them. She was NOT like them. She was nothing like them.

They would forgive her. They had to. When they understood, they're forgive her. She had to believe that. Seeing Legion's body walking beside her, under her control, it was the only thing that kept her from snapping. The belief that this would be worth it, that there was no other way. She just had to reach the Engine Room and this Maintenance Corridor would take her straight to a secondary entryway, one used by the Huragok to get through the ship more efficiently.

They soon reached the entryway, a longer more spacious area within the ship's inner workings. Now she could properly stand, instead of crouching constantly. It wouldn't be long before she was inside the engine room, then this whole ordeal would start to pay off. Unfortunately, that was when she a heard a biotic field activate. She then turned to see Legion's platform being pulled away from her down the passageway. When she looked back, there was Jack, standing in her way. Her biotics were not activated though, so she suspected someone else, turning back briefly, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Samara, slightly illuminated by the purple lighting and her own biotic field.

Shepard and the others had probably figured out her plan of attack. She should've known, they were smart, they knew her, even if she didn't entirely know them as well as most. She was a bit surprised Wade himself hadn't come. Or maybe he was waiting at another ambush point, there were a lot of entrances after all, they could've spread out.

"Let me pass," Tali demanded.

"Sorry, Tali, not happening," Jack informed her. "We're taking you back so they can find a way to flush that Relic's garbage thoughts out of your noggin."

"Then we never find the voice and it kills us all," Tali shouted at her. "Why don't you understand that?"

"Tali, you must realize that none of these actions you've taken are your own," Samara tried to reason. "Your mind is being bent to the will of a creature long dead. The Relic is a conduit for this voice, but it resides within. It is deceiving you, driving you to extremes with the promise you can kill it. But you're not killing it, you're helping it."

Tali turned to Samara with rage in her eyes.

"I'm fighting it, I'm fighting it with every inch of my soul!" She screamed. "I just need to keep connected a little longer and I can win!"

"No, you can't win, Tali," Jack spoke up. "Not like this. Because whatever the fuck is talking to you, convincing you that whatever you're doing is a good idea, it's not. The only way you're going to fix this, is if you come with us before you do something you'll regret."

"As if you would know anything about regret," Tali said angrily. "I regret so much, so many things. My mother's death, my relationship with my father, not telling Wade how I felt sooner, hating Legion for as long as I did, leading my team on Haestrom to their deaths, what I did to Cor-"

She stopped herself there, unable to keep speaking, choking up at the very thought. She steeled her gaze regardless.

"I certainly regret what I've had to do here," she finally spoke up in a rage. "Do you think I enjoy this? Any of it? I know what this is costing me, but I'm trying to save people at least. Everything you've done though, Jack, what do you regret? If anything?"

Tali could tell she touched a nerve, as the convict's face contorted into a snarl. But the continuing silence spoke volumes all the same.

"Just as I thought," Tali snorted in defiance. "At least Samara knows about sacrifice. You? You're happy with everyone hating you. What do you have left to lose, right? I have everything to lose, but I'm doing this anyway because it means so much more than just me. Something you could never understand because you're a selfish loner who only stuck around with us because you enjoy finding new things to kill!"

"Fine! Maybe that's what I am!" Jack relented, rage boiling over. "But at least I'm the one who's actually being reasonable here! You're the one going around attacking everyone at random, even if they're friends!"

"Miranda is not my friend!" Tali screeched. "She's a traitor! I know it! She wants to take Wade away from me!"

"Whatever crimes Lawson has committed still mark her," Samara declared. "But her time with Cerberus has ended. She is only a traitor to them, not us. Besides, what about Taq?"

"She wouldn't tell me what I needed to know!" Tali said defensively. "I had no choice, I had to knock her out or she would've told everyone what was going on!"

"Oh great, now you're using my lines," Jack snorted. "You know, I actually don't care you clocked the Cheerleader. I always figured our mutual dislike of her was something we could bond over. That's still no excuse for any of this. Seriously, what is so hard for you to get here? You're attacking everyone who's actually trying to help while you're on this insane quest to murder a creepy voice only you can hear!"

Tali could only laugh derisively at the comment.

"Oh please," she chortled. "What is that human saying?" Pot and saucepan?"

"Pot calling kettle black, Ms. Zorah," DOT corrected aloud.

"Exactly," Tali said, before looking accusingly at Jack. "You of all people are going to lecture me about attacking friends? You? The woman who has done nothing but reject every open hand and every chance she's ever had at being normal or respected? So much so you push away any chance at happiness! All you ever do is hurt people, Jack! That's all you're good at! Why else do you think they sent you down here to confront me? Because you're biotic muscle! That's it!"

In an instant, Jack's "biotic muscles" came alive, as a fiery blue haze erupted over her.

"Screw this, we're wasting time," she declared. "Let's just stasis her and drag her back already!"

As Jack charged her attack, Samara tried to caution her against the action.

"Jack, wait!"

It was already too late, Jack had launched a Stasis attack at Tali. The quarian dodged away before it got too close. Lucky for Samara, her own kinetic barriers prevented the Stasis attack from freezing her. The miss, however, was still exploited by Tali nonetheless. She activated dampening, assaulting Jack's Amp with a terrible feedback loop. The ex-Con looked incensed, but her biotics didn't seem at all affected.

"Nice try," she shouted through gritted teeth. "But unlike the cheerleader, I don't need an Amp to kick your ass!"

Biotic Amps mostly just boosted or controlled biotic power. Most of the time, deactivating it with Dampening disrupted a person's ability to use them for a short time. At least until the amp could adjust to the attack. Jack, however, was powerful enough without one, even if the disruption still caused her visible pain. You could it hear it with the strain in her own voice as she tried to send Shockwave attacks to knock Tali down. They probably would've worked too, had Tali not also activated a few Chiktikka drones to absorb the attacks for her.

With the drones acting as shields, Tali reached for one of her pouches. She pulled out a smoke grenade that she had stolen from the armory and threw it at Jack's feet. A huge plume of grey exploded out from the spinning device. Before long, a huge cloud had coated the passageway, obscuring everyone's vision, save for Tali. She activated her visor's thermal display, allowing her to locate both Jack and Samara. The former was throwing wild biotic punches at the air randomly.

"You're making this way harder than it has to be, Zorah!" She shouted aloud. "That Relic is fucking with your head! Whatever that fucking voice is saying is a lie!"

As if she didn't already know that. Why did they think that would convince her to stop? Samara was at least being more careful and purposeful in her reactions. She paced carefully trough the thick smoke, keeping her biotics ready but not expending energy.

"Tali, none of this is of your own doing, but I will defend myself if I have to," she assured the quarian. "You are being manipulated. Taq can explain everything better than I. Simply come with us and we can help you overcome the evil that has poisoned you."

Tali didn't doubt she wanted to help, but they couldn't. They just didn't understand, they hadn't seen what she had. It was why she had to get into the engine room. Luckily, she knew of a shortcut to get there from here. She felt around on the ground, her fingers pressing at the creases in the floor. It had to be here somewhere, the air ventilation shaft. She could get inside and literally slide down the rest of the way. They wouldn't be able to stop her.

Her fingers finally clutched at something, a latch, perfect. She lifted it up, revealing the vent below. The noise she made opening it though caught Samara's attention. The Asari moved to send a Stasis attack at the quarian, Tali reacted as fast as she could, firing a dampening attack. Samara clutched at her head as her attack went wild. With no time to spare, Tali jumped into the vent proper. She could hear Jack running to stop her, but it wouldn't matter. As soon as she had closed the latch, Tali superheated the lock with her omni-tool, soddening it shut before Jack could force it back open. With that done, she let go of the tiny door itself and allowed her body to slide the rest of the way to her destination.

Busting through the intake grate, Tali landed within the engine room. She quickly got to her feet, pulling her weapon out and pointing it forward. She had expected to find some engineers waiting for her arrival, perhaps with tazer weapons to take her into custody. Instead, she found no one, the room was empty save for some Huragoks floating around. Of course, it was late in the sleep cycle for one and everyone knew she was coming here. They wouldn't want to risk giving her hostages to keep them at bay. They must've cleared everyone out, but they wouldn't have done that without some contingencies.

While she searched for a terminal, she took in her surroundings. Covenant engine rooms were a lot different from UNSC ones. The Normandy had some similarities, given its drive core taking up the majority of the room. The plasma core of the Carrier was more visible behind it's protective shielding though. The pulsating blue of the central core itself, bathed the entire bay in a light glow. You could also walk the whole way around as well. As per Covenant design, the whole place exuded the feel of a church or temple rather than a ship.

Tali found the central panel near the back of the room, facing the forward doors. She logged in and used DOT to override access to the doors. She needed absolute privacy. Even if she had no one in here with her to keep them back, she could at least stall them. It only took a minute before she had control.

"Security Lockdown of engine room in effect," DOT reported. "I must continue to advise, however, that there is no internal threat to the ship that can be de-"

"Enough, DOT," Tali ordered bluntly. "We need to prepare the engines and find the emergency secondary navigation panel."

Tali set to work and turned on the Omni-Tool's radio again. She kept an ear open for anything concerning the engine room or her. She expected BBR to eventually report on something soon. In the meantime, Iron Maiden music echoed through the chamber itself, as Tali started flicking switches and commands on various consoles. She was pooling power back into relevant sections of the core, in preparation for a slipspace jump. The machines around her hummed to life, as she worked her way through the relevant procedure.

Here is the soul of a man

Here in this place for the taking

Clothed in white, stand in the light

Here is the soul of a man

Tali only barely paid attention to the song, her mind too focused on preparing the ship. To activate slipspace, she'd need to find the emergency navigation panel. It was where the crew could control the ship if command from the bridge was somehow lost. Apparently, even the Covenant understood the idea of system redundancies to an extent. She did locate it, on the second level, but her attempt to log in, even with DOT failed. She tried again, failure. The system was locking out. She briefly wondered if it was the bridge, but no, it couldn't be. This was far too quick a lockout. Her commands were countered faster than the usual belay signal could be met. And when some of the system cycles she had just set in motion got powered down, she knew the truth.

Someone was in here with her.

Time to speak with the Shaman again

Conjure the Jester again

Black Dog in the Ruins is Howling my name

So here is the soul of a man

Tali kept her gun out, trying not to let the music, or the now moving shadows, distract her. She could feel the voice's breath, trying to break her focus, confuse her. She could hear skittering and scattering around her. She briefly wondered if all of this was another illusion. Tricking her into thinking she had failed. The images of the Shadow Precursor seemed to suggest as much. He crawled around the walls, multiple versions of him, eyes glowing a sickly yellowish-red.

When the world was virgin

Before the coming of men

Just a solar witness

The Beginning of the End

From a world of magma

To a cold rock face

The Ascent of Madness

And the human race

That was when Tali realized, there was only one person who could match her, who could undo her hacking and override her procedures. She turned on her thermal imaging and scanned about the room. Her eyes searched every terminal, every corner, looking for her quarry.

We are strange believers, All of us

There are stranger truths, Immortal lust

We rise from slumber, He calls our name

Recalls our number, Abide with Pain

She finally spotted an outline of heat, faint, but there. She pointed her weapon at it cautiously, biting her lip as she tried to work up the courage.

"Kas," she began nervously. "I know you're there, Kas. Drop the cloak."

All at once, Kasumi's cloak vanished and she now stood plainly visible in the room. Her hands were up, but her usual joyful smirk was gone. Replaced with a clear sad melancholy.

"So, you gonna shoot me now?" She asked sardonically.

Tali lowered her gun, but raised her omni-tool.

"I... I don't need to," she claimed. "I can... I can just use a low level overload to... to shock you. Like a tazer or something. I... I don't want to hurt anyone, Kas. You have to believe that."

"I do believe it, Tali," Kasumi assured, still keeping her hands raised. "But the fact is you have hurt people. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's true. Whatever you think you're doing, it's not helping you. It's not helping anyone."

Tali clutched at her head as a new headache coursed through it. Kasumi tried to step forward in that moment, but Tali backed away, keeping her omni-tool held high.

"It keeps talking to me, Kas," Tali told her friend, her eyes near bursting with tears. "It keeps showing me what it has done. What it will do again. I have to stop it. No one else can stop it but me."

"After everything we've been though, how can you possibly think no one else can stop it?" Kasumi asked pleadingly. "We've fought off the impossible together, as a team. Why not this?"

"Because no one is listening!" Tali screamed. "Everyone thinks I'm insane! That this isn't real! Well it is, it feels more real than you can imagine and it makes me sick! I need to stop it! I need to kill it! It's the only way to shut it up!"

Kasumi placed her hands in front of her, trying her best to comfort her friend.

"Tali, listen," she tried to explain. "Just listen to me for a second. I believe you. We all do. We found something out about that relic, Tali. It's about the thing that's talking to you. There's something inside the relic feeding you lies. Manipulating you into doing all of this. You have to resist it, Tali. You have to fight it!"

"I am fighting it!" Tali snarled in anger. "What do you think all this has been?"

"It's tricking you, Tali! It's making you do what it wants!" Kasumi shouted back. "Please! You have to believe me, Taq figured it out. If you come back with us, we can actually fix this. We can show you how."

Tali reached for the relic in her pouch, grasping it between her fingers. She felt another rush of information, flooding all at once into her head. Even as she clutched it, her head pounded in agony. The Relic itself was pulsating with light. She resisted the urge to throw it away, she needed it, she needed it to kill the voice. She needed it to end this.

"I... I can't turn back now," she insisted. "After everything... all I've done. I have to make this right, Kas."

"You can! Just give me the Relic and-"

"No, I have to prove I'm not like them!" Tali screamed, pulling the relic further away from Kasumi, even as the hooded thief reached for it. "I have to atone! I have to kill it! Killing it is the only way I can prove I'm not like them!"

"Tali, stop," Kasumi pleaded. "You're letting it get into your head! You don't have to prove anything to anyone! Those things you're seeing, those are someone else's crimes! You're not guilty!"

"I am!" Tali cried. "I am guilty! We're all guilty! And I have to make it right!"

Kasumi tried to make a sudden move to grab the relic. Tali reacted instantly.

"I have to make it right!"

An overload blast hit Kasumi, shorting out her shields and hitting her with several volts. The thief fell backwards hitting hitting her head against a console. The scene broke Tali out of her painful anguish and she rushed over to her friend's side, pulling back her hood. Kasumi was knocked out and Tali could do nothing but cry.

"I didn't mean it," she sobbed. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted to do the right thing. I want to save you. I'm sorry, I have to make it right. I'm not a monster. I can't let it make me a monster."

"We are all monsters in our own way. We are all damned and yet saved. We are shackled but free."

The shadows were around her now, looking down on her as Tali cradled Kasumi in her arms. The music continued to play, the chorus repeating over and over.

Reef in the sail at the edge of the world,

If Eternity Should Fail

Waiting in Line for the Ending of Time,

If Eternity Should Fail

Tali kept holding Kasumi, looking up defiantly at the shadows around her, but her fear was clear. No matter what it took, no matter how much she lost, she would not become them. She would never become them. As if reading her thoughts, the shadows answered.

"You fear what is inevitable. You have joined the eternal, the everlasting. It is too late for you. Too late for forgiveness. Too late for anyone."

---

Kasumi was still alive, her life signs made that clear enough at least. She was down though and Tali was still on course to completing her mission. Chief didn't know where she intended to send them to, but if this memory thing was feeding her the coordinates, he did not want to find out the answer. For all they knew, it was leading them to some quarantined Flood world or an exploding star or maybe a Covie Fleet, who could say at this point? None of the prospects sounded good. The problem was they were running out of options to reach the quarian. Shutting down the core would be their best option obviously, but they were hoping Kasumi would've gotten around to do that before subduing Tali.

Now, outside one of the hatches leading into the engine room, currently on lockdown and behind a big old bulkhead door, their options seemed limited. If not dried up. Shepard of course remained hopeful. Mostly because Kasumi hadn't completely failed. Besides setting up enough system blocks and reroutes to keep Tali from getting full control of the slipspace drive for a good while, she had also given them a lock on Tali's comms frequency. The quarian had kept changing constantly to avoid detection, but now they had a lock.

"I need to contact her directly," he declared firmly. "I can talk her down."

"Talking her down doesn't seem to be working, sir," Chief warned. "It's not enough."

"We can't give up on her," Shepard stated, his glare unflinching. "I won't give up."

"I didn't say that we should," Chief assured him. "But we need a new approach."

"He's right," Cortana spoke up in agreement. "You heard her over Goto's feed. The memory has latched onto her guilt, her regret, her anger and self-hatred. Everything Tali has ever blamed herself for, every guilty feeling or thought, it's feeding the Precursor Memory."

Shepard was still fearful, but he wasn't blind. He nodded, concurring with Cortana's assessment.

"Ever since we first met, Tali has always been quick to blame herself first more than anyone," he said thoughtfully. "You think I put the world on my shoulders? Tali places almost as much responsibility on herself. Every failure is worse in her eyes. Hell, she was willing to get exiled from her fleet just to protect her dead father's reputation."

"Why?" Chief asked confused.

"He... he did something terrible," Shepard answered carefully. "It's hard to explain and personal. It doesn't matter, the point is, she takes on a lot of blame. Some she doesn't deserve, some she does. She's made mistakes, we all do, but... Tali's hurt her more."

In a way, Chief knew what that was like. Any mistake he made was a mark on him, a lesson to do better, to be better. The strain could be unbearable for many. He wasn't the only one that seemed to understand either.

"I think this is something specific," Cortana stated. "Something that has become a focal point that Tali has fixated on. It's allowing the Precursor memory to keep her mind forced open. It won't let go until she faces it. Like we discussed, it's up to her."

"But what could it be?" Shepard asked. "The Slipspace Drive project? This all started with that."

"I think it's something else," Cortana replied rather grimly. "Something a bit older than that."

"What do you mean?" Chief asked, curious as it seemed the AI already knew the answer ahead of them.

Cortana was silent for a bit, longer than Chief was comfortable with. When she spoke, it was with purpose.

"I have a backdoor entry into Tali's Omni-Tool, I can upload myself via the lock we have on the comm," she claimed. "I need to speak to her, alone."

"Cortana..."

"It's the only way, Chief," she informed him. "Trust me. I think I'm the only one that can help her now."

---

Tali worked at a feverish pace, running through the procedure checks and command codes, trying to undo everything Kasumi had obviously done to prevent her from getting access. Just severing the connection with the bridge itself was going to take a while. Leaving that open would allow anyone at the helm to cancel the jump, so cutting them off was crucial to completing the plan. It was not easy to do when shadows surrounded you, taunting, whilst your head pounded in pain from every sneering jeer and biting insult. As far as they were concerned, she had already failed. She had to prove it wrong, she had to kill the voice, no matter the cost to herself.

The only thing that could drown out the shadows around her was the music, which by now she had cranked up as high as she could while still being able to think. At this point, it was the last comfort she had left. The last shred of some normality even as she felt her sanity slipping away with every second. Although it didn't help ease her mind that every song seemed to punctuate her dire situation.

I'm waiting in my cold Cell when the Bell begins to chime

Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time

Because at Five O'Clock they take me to the Gallows Pole

The Sands of Time for me are running low

Tali looked over to Kasumi propped up against a wall. She was still knocked out, but at least Tali had gotten hold of herself long to give her some medi-gel to help with her head injury. She was hoping she'd be out long enough to undo everything done to these consoles. The sooner they were in slipspace, the sooner this could be over. They'd have no choice then, they'd have to help her kill the voice then.

"Everyone has turned on you, nothing you do will ever sponge away your sins."

"Shut up," Tali demanded, clenching her fists through tears. "Why can't you just shut up?"

"The truth cannot be silenced, your evolution is nearly complete. You will be with us soon."

"That's the idea," Tali scowled. "That's when I kill you."

The voice just cackled as his various forms scurried around her.

"We are beyond death, beyond understanding, beyond life. There is no victory for you. Only submission. Only acceptance of our gift."

Tali pounded the console command, turning the engine power reroute cycle. At the same time, she clutched the relic, trying to keep the coordinates in her head. She needed to remember it, so she could input it quickly. As she did though, she spotted a blinking light on the dash.

When the Priest comes to read me the last rites

I take a look through the bars at the last sights

Of a world that has gone very wrong for me!

Tali wasn't sure why the light was blinking, as that command wasn't part of this sequence. She presumed it was one of Kasumi's roadblocks, preventing further access. She'd have to check it out, it was the only way to be sure. She reached for the command switch, although one of the shadowy hands tried to grab at her. Even if it wasn't real, only an illusion, a dream, she still recoiled as the face of the shadow loomed in front of her, snarling at her.

Can it be that there's some sort of error?

Hard to stop the surmounting terror

Is it really the end, not some crazy dream?

Now Tali knew that the light was something the Precursor creature didn't want her to touch. It was the only time it had even attempted to stop her. She quickly moved to hit the command, the shadow still grasping at her. She slammed her palm down, even as her head pounded in pain. One of the shadows grabbed at her, pulling her away from the console even as she struggled.

Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming,

It's not easy to stop from screaming

The words escape me when I try to speak!

Tali screamed aloud, swinging wild punches in anger at the shadows. They weren't real, she kept telling herself, they weren't there. They had only fooled her mind, she had to fight them. No matter how much they grabbed at her, mocked her, battered her, she had to remember they were not real. They were apparitions, monsters, trying to stop her, trying to destroy her. She had to keep fighting them, she had to save the crew, she had to save everyone. She would not die a monster. She would not die without some form of atonement. This all had to be worth something!

Tears flow, but why am I crying?

After all I'm not afraid of dying!

Don't I believe that there never is an end!

Tali finally pulled away from the shadows, throwing herself back onto the console. A bluish light cascaded down onto her. Was it the navigation sequence? Has she unlocked it? Her eyes slowly raised up to see the origin point. It was not a holographic screen, but someone else, Cortana, standing upon the console looking down at her.

"Hey, Tali," she began succinctly. "I've heard you've been having a bad day."

Tali pushed herself up into a standing position, but she looked upon the AI frightfully. She didn't want to see her, but at the same time a part of her wanted to. She hated herself for not at least trying to talk to Cortana, for not going to her, but she had been afraid. To face Cortana now was to face her greatest shame directly. To continue to lie to someone she cared for. To lie to herself.

"How did you-"

"Backdoor through your communication channels," Cortana informed her. "I ciphered my upload through your Omni-Tool and into this terminal. It's really the only way to keep you out at this point."

Tali grimaced, but pulled up her omni-tool all the same.

"DOT, activate systems override for-"

"She can't help you now," Cortana stated. "I instituted my own override while being uploaded. She's gone into standby mode until your status has been cleared."

Tali slammed her fist on the dashboard, her breathing getting heavier and more infuriated by the moment. One of the Shadows grasped at her shoulder with a strange tentacle and whispered into her ear.

"As always, the machine turns on your kind. We warned you this would happen. You should've killed them all."

"Shut up, shut up," Tali said, placing her hands on either side of her head. "Why won't you shut up?"

Cortana, as per usual, was rather astute about the situation.

"I trust you're not talking to me," she reasoned. "We're... not alone are we?"

"I'm never alone now," Tali sobbed. "They're everywhere."

"They're not real, Tali," Cortana reminded her. "I know you know that."

"I don't think I know what is real anymore," Tali wept. "It's just another thing they've taken. Certainty, privacy, safety... my mind."

Cortana quieted her, her voice calm and reassuring.

"They haven't won, Tali," the AI told her. "You can beat them, but not the way you think."

"I have to silence the voice, Cortana," Tali cried openly, her fingers clutching the console board. "Don't you see? They're... killing me. They're going to kill us all. I have... I have to save you. I have to make this right. Please, just let me save you."

"We're not the ones who need saving, Tali," Cortana told her firmly. "That thing, it's not speaking to you from space. It's inside the Relic itself. It's a memory, Tali. A memory of a Precursor feeding you half truths and twisted facts. It has been using you this whole time, manipulating you. This plan you've come up with to save us... it's not yours. The Precursor fed it to you and made you think it was your own."

The shadow suddenly slammed a tentacle on the console and scowled into the side of Tali's face.

"The machines always lie! They have lied since they were born! You know this! You've always known this! Your father died knowing this! Why betray your people now? Why listen to an unliving thing that seeks your end! Do you not see? They have abandoned you. You turned on them. Now they send this thing of code to deceive you. They have not forgiven. You cannot be forgiven for what you've done. To them... and to it."

Tali wanted to argue, she wanted to scream back at the shadow and tell it that she didn't believe a word. That it was the liar, that it was deceiving her. But a part of her knew there was a kernel of truth. Her sins were unforgivable. Her actions impossible to absolve. She was hated, she was a pariah, she was abandoned, like all quarians were. And once Cortana realized the truth, she too would leave her to die.

As the guards march me out to the courtyard

Somebody cries from a cell, "God be with you!"

If there's a God then why has he let me go?

"It doesn't matter," Tali said, letting her tears flood her visor. "I've destroyed everything to get this far. My crew has abandoned me. They've all abandoned me. I'm... I'm an exile. I tried to escape that fate, but I failed. I'm an exile now. This... this is my only way to atone."

And as I walk my life drifts before me,

Though the end is near I'm not sorry!

Catch my soul, it's willing to fly away!

Tali moved to press more commands, to finish what she started, but Cortana moved in front of her hand. The quarian paused, unable to move, even knowing the AI couldn't physically restrain her.

"That's not you, Tali! That's the memory talking!" She shouted pleadingly. "It is using your emotions against you! All your self-doubt, anger, fears, inner loathing, guilt and hatred, it feeds off them! The more you let it in, the more you give it control. That's how it has been convincing you to keep going. Tali, wherever the Relic is leading you to, it wants you to go there! Think about it, why would this thing, if it has control over your senses, allow you to see something that it knows would help you kill it?"

Tali couldn't answer. It didn't make sense. She it didn't. But... perhaps she had cracked the Relic. Maybe she just caught a lucky break? What if the voice overplayed its hand? Maybe that's why she had the coordinates... but still...

"I don't know how this works," Tali insisted. "All I know is that this is the right thing!"

"Do you think that or does the Precursor?" Cortana asked cuttingly. "Tali, you need to shut off its connection to you. It's worse now that you're touching the relic. You have to turn the tables on it before you're completely lost."

"How?" Tali asked pleadingly. "How can I do that? You think if I knew of another way I wouldn't have tried it?"

"It's hiding the other way from you, Tali! It's scared of you figuring it out!" Cortana insisted desperately. "Think, did you ever have doubts about this? Second thoughts? A feeling that something wasn't quite right?"

Tali was silent for a moment, which was enough for Cortana.

"And when you thought that way, when you strayed," the AI questioned as it continued probing, "what happened to get you back on track?"

Tali's eyes went wide and this time she had an immediate answer.

"Mother," she said wistfully, fearfully. "I... I saw my mother."

"It wasn't her," Cortana informed her sadly. "Tali, the connection works both ways. The Precursor Memory can see into your mind as much as you can its own. It's using your past against you, to hide the truth."

"What truth?" Tali asked desperately, her sobs painful and wretched.

"That you can beat it," Cortana assured her. "That you're stronger than it! That you can fight it! Not somewhere out there, but right here, inside you!"

Tali looked to both Cortana and the console, her vision blurred through tears, her thoughts swimming in confusion. The AI's words made a sick, strange sort of sense. Why had her mother always appeared during doubt and only then? Didn't she need comfort? Why hadn't she stayed? Where was she when the voice spoke? Where was she when she was hurt and in pain and needed to just talk? Where was she now when she was surrounded by nothing but shadow? When she needed her most?

"Tali, you need to finish it."

The shadows were gone and suddenly her Mother was behind her again, bathed in white light... but it wasn't as strong before. It was not a beacon, just a glare.

"You can't pause, you must finish," she pressed. "Your people, your crew, the future of all life, depends on you not stopping. You have work, finish it. Ignore the synthetic, it is confusing you. It does not understand."

It didn't understand. It couldn't understand. It hadn't seen what she had. At this point what choice did she even have? She could live with what she done if it was worth it. She didn't need Legion or Garrus or her people... Cortana... Wade?

Wait! No! Why was she thinking that? How could she think that? And Cortana wasn't an it! She was a she! She was her friend!

"Those aren't my thoughts!" Tali screamed in angered realization, turning to her so-called mother. "Those are yours! All yours!"

Her mother glared at her, the warmth vanishing at last.

"You're not her," Tali glowered in rage. "You were never her! You're the voice! You're the shadow! You're the Precursor!"

Her "mother's" face turned up into a glinting smirk, self-satisfied and callous.

"Tali, my dear child," she said, in a mocking tone. "Do you know what happened when I died? You know what my last thoughts were? Relief. Total and absolute relief. Because at long last... it was over. I didn't have to put up with it all anymore. The fleet, the racism of the Galaxy, your father's distance and most of all... you."

Tali began to clutch her fists together, her breathing become heavy and worried. She wanted to shut this out, to close off her senses, to hear no more. But she couldn't even raise her hands to shut the apparition out.

"You were always so disappointing," the image claimed. "Always so eager to be liked and loved, so... pathetic in your pursuit of affection. Mine, your father's, it carried over to Shepard too it seems. But you were just not good enough. You never were. How could you be? In every way you were Rael's shadow. The fleet thought so highly of you, that you'd do great things. But you never really amounted to much beyond a sad little girl who couldn't accept her father and mother never wanted her in the first place. That all she was to them was a distraction. A reminder that they had produced something so inadequate."

Tali's anger boiled over into a rage, turning away from her mother and clutching the dashboard. Something that didn't escape Cortana.

"It's not real," she told her. "Whatever is happening, whatever it is saying, it's not real! And it's not true!"

"What does it know of truth?" The apparition claimed. "It doesn't even know what you did to it. What you did to your own mind. It will turn on you as soon as it learns, just like everyone does when they find out the truth about you, my daughter. You're a sad, spiteful, hateful little girl, full of rage and jealousy and close-mindedness. How can you possibly think you can save anyone, let alone our people? You're going to doom us all... because you're not good enough. That's why Rael never loved you. That's why I only pretended, because breaking your little heart just wasn't in me."

"Stop it," Tali pleaded. "Just stop it!"

"Now I know no pain," the fake mother claimed. "So there's no need to lie. No need to concern myself with hurting you. I'm above that. We all are. And I can assure you, your father feels the same... and he waits for you beyond. But first, I can watch you slip into madness yourself. Just before you join us."

The image started laughing, cackling actually, as her form turned from Tali's mother, back into the shadowy image of the Precursor. Tali clutched at her head in anguish. Despair ran over her. She had been manipulated, lied to. She had thought she had been saving everyone, but she had failed. She had failed from the start. She was a fool, an idiot, just like everyone always knew. She had been too weak, too angry, to vengeful to see it.

Cortana moved into her field of view.

"Tali, listen," she commanded. "The more you give into this anger and guilt, the stronger the Memory gets. You need to shake off its influence! It's the only way to stop him!"

"How?" Tali sobbed. "I've played into its hands! I was killing everyone all along! I'm a monster!"

"No! You're not!" Cortana tried to assure him. "Tali, you are the kindest, most intelligent person I know! You care about other people! While you were wrong about all this, your actions aren't that of a monster. You're a victim, Tali, you can't blame yourself for this!"

"Who else is to blame?" Tali asked pleadingly. "I did all of this! It all came from me! The rage, the anger..."

"That's not all you are!" Cortana insisted. "Tali, you need to let go of your guilt and self-doubt! You need to confront it! Or you'll never escape this thing's pull! You're stronger than it!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!" Cortana declared. "Your crew, your friends, me, we all know you are! We haven't given up on you! Don't give up on yourself!"

Tali looked into Cortana's eyes, blubbering and tearful.

"You don't know," she claimed. "You don't know what I've done! You're only saying that because you don't know!"

"I don't know what, Tali?" Cortana insisted. "What? Tell me! If it's all so hopeless, why don't you just tell me?"

In an instant, everything crumbled down around her. She couldn't contain herself. If she was to lose herself, she would not die with a lie.

"Because I put myself in you!" She cried in anguish. "I put a fragment of myself into you!"

Cortana was silent, motionless, prompting Tali to explain more.

"Halsey took a fragment from you and brought me in to work with it," the quarian continued, not missing a beat or taking a breath. "I was working with her in her lab on Reach. She had me work with your fragment, bond with it. Then... then she had me add to it. I digitized a part of cloned brain tissue from myself, just like when Halsey made you. Just enough to make a fragment of an AI of myself. And then I uploaded it to your own fragment. I added a part of myself to you. When I met the real you on the Autumn that day, I had known you for far longer. That systems upgrade I gave you? That was the fragment! A part of me inside of you!"

Cortana remained motionless, her face seemingly blank. Tali expected anger any moment, but she needed to finish.

"Don't you see! Our whole friendship, it's based on a lie!" She exclaimed, tears flowing in a torrent of anguish and guilt. "You only feel connected to me because I violated you with a part of myself! Without your knowledge! I wanted to tell you, Cortana, but Halsey said it might damage your matrix, cause you to reject the fragment, turn you rampant early or something! But I think I was actually worried about losing your respect, your friendship, more than anything! That you'd hate me and you'd be right to! I just wanted to be better, I wanted to change! I wanted to understand! And in my quest to feel connected with synthetic life, and do just that, I've become just like my father! I violated you, Cortana! I'm sorry! I know that's not enough, it never will be, but I'm sorry!"

Tali slammed her head at last onto the console, weeping openly at the last shred of respect she had. The last friendship she had now ruined. She didn't blame anyone but herself for it. She deserved to be hated, for everything she had done and more. She deserved this.

Then, Cortana placed her holographic hand on her head.

"I knew."

Tali's sobs quieted almost instantly.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"I knew," Cortana explained rather simply. "Practically almost to the millisecond after the upload. I detected a foreign data packet in my code. I soon recognized it as a different AI matrix pattern, incomplete but there. I suspected it was based on you. The fragment had some... interesting similarities. Rather stand-offish, not nearly as social as me, but longing to be. Certainly a bit of dry snark too. Also a few telltale memories that weren't my own or Halsey's."

Tali couldn't believe it. She had known, from the start?

"Honestly, I'm surprised Halsey thought she could hide the whole thing from me," Cortana stated with a shrug. "I'm an infiltration program, that's my core function. Did she think I wouldn't notice something like that?"

"But... why...?"

"It was harmless really," Cortana continued rather plainly. "Once I realized what it was, it was easier to incorporate it into my matrix. Sometimes I hear the stray thought or see a memory or two, but it's no different than Halsey's own stuff. Honestly, it's nice to get something new, a fresh perspective. Remembering fragments of Halsey's life all the time was getting boring. Like too many reruns, it's nice to get something different."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tali asked at last.

Cortana just smiled.

"Because I knew you'd tell me eventually," she explained. "And I wanted you to be the one to do it. I'll also admit that I was concerned you'd get scared, like you'd think something went wrong with the process. Mostly though, I just wanted to know more about this person, an alien, that Halsey clearly trusted enough to do this. I mean, it was pretty obvious who was behind the whole thing. She might be a part of ONI, but Halsey isn't exactly subtle in her decision making. She also needs to remember more often that I'm her in a sense, I kind of know her better than she thinks."

Tali was still put off by it all. For all her anguish, her fear, her guilt and regret, Cortana didn't seem at all upset.

"You're not mad?" She asked. "You're not even enraged or-"

"I was apprehensive at first," Cortana admitted. "I mean, I had suddenly gotten to know you better via a fragment upload. I honestly would've preferred a more natural start to said friendship. In my line of work though you make due with what you got. And what I got was a foundation to something I felt like exploring. What I found was a near kindred spirit."

"Kindred?"

Cortana nodded pleasantly.

"Don't tell Chief this," she said with a sly grin, "but I do actually appreciate him. He's... important to me. He isn't very similar to me and my thought processes though. No surprise there. But Tali, we have a wavelength, a connection, and one that isn't entirely based on some lines of code installed into me. It's something tangible, real. I know it because I've worked with you, struggled with you, we've fought together in many ways. Why else would I be here now, trying to help you out of this? I care, Tali, and I'm not the only one."

Tali was now the one to stand motionless, her mind processing everything.

"But... after everything..."

"We all say and do things we're not proud of," Cortana assured her. "We all make mistakes, scream things we didn't mean, fall flat now and then. But none of that makes you a monster. None of that means you have to let it weigh you down. It just means you can be better. Can you honestly say you're the same person today that you were before you even met Halsey? Or Shepard? Me?"

Tali knew the answer, she had always known it. Perhaps she had forgotten it, that was all. But she could still see the shadows around her, taunting her. They weren't going away.

"I still don't know how to stop this," she exclaimed sadly.

"Reject its hold, Tali," Cortana informed her. "Taq says that the psychic scarring the Flood left you gave this thing an opening. But it's still a defensive mechanism for your subconscious. You can use it against him. You have to focus on something good, something wonderful. Its hold has to be weakening already, you just need to starve it, then you can kill it."

Tali didn't know if this would work, but she was willing to try. She let her mind drift into the black, trying to shut everything out. Even as the voice kept speaking.

"Idiot. This won't work. I've already won. Memory or not, I am still more powerful. I am the ceaseless void and you are a worm wiggling to reach the sun! You are nothing! You have always been nothing!"

Tali concentrated harder, the voice suddenly growing silent as her mind centered on the good, the thing she had let herself forget, the anti-venom to the poison of hate this monster had filled her with. She thought of her first envirosuit, Auntie Rann's visits and the gifts she brought, the days she spent with her mother, engineering class, her friends in the fleet, the few but still meaningful times when her father spent with her.

That was the start, but then a flood proceeded. She remembered the Council being forced to listen to a quarian, of all species, about her discovery of Saren's crimes. How the original Normandy crew. especially Chief Adams, welcomed her openly, despite not being human. Garrus' stupid jokes. Kasumi sharing her favorite poets and classic books with her. Chakwas going out of her way to get her those immuno-boosters. Her first night with Shepard. Legion showing her what the Geth truly were. Talking tech with Kat. Her first real meeting with Cortana. It all just kept coming.

She had almost thought she was out of tears, but she was able to feel a single one left. One of joy this time, not pain. And that was when she felt it, her mind focusing on one little spot in her head, one that wasn't adhering to her own thoughts.

That was when she struck.

"Get! Out! Of My! HEAD!"

---

Tali's eyes opened, but she wasn't in the engine room anymore, she was in a large sickly green place. It smelled rotten, decaying. Tendrils were sprawled around the room, shimmering with the ugly glow of green that resonated everywhere as they climbed up the walls and crept along the floor. At the center there was something familiar, a form she had seen in shadow. It was not as terrifying anymore though. It was broken, dying, moaning, it's many arms limp and struggling. The elongated neck turned to show a broken, rotted face of what Tali assumed was the Precursor.

Correction, it wasn't the Precursor. He or she or it had died long ago. This was just dark echo, a thing that had stuck around like a bad credit chit. Refusing to leave, clinging to its little bit of existence.

"Ceaseless void, huh?" Tali asked. "Say hello to the worm, then."

"This is not possible!" It screeched. "Your kind are nothing! We made those like you! We unmade those like you! You are a plaything! You are refuse! You are ours!"

"That was a long time ago," Tali informed it. "Now? Now no one even remembers you."

The creature seemed to laugh at that.

"You reminded them for us."

Tali shook her head.

"No, I revealed to them how sad and pathetic you've become," she declared. "This is all that's left of you. Some dying nightmare preying on the weak. You still think you're a God after all this?"

"We are power, even in death."

"No, you're just a bad memory that needs to be forgotten," Tali exclaimed, reaching down to pull a pistol out of nowhere.

The Precursor creature shuddered in anger and, maybe, just a little fear. Tali smirked at that. Now it knew how it felt.

"This changes nothing," the creature declared defiantly. "A voice still spoke to you on the ring, it was simply not mine. Another is out there, one who speaks to the countless graves and there is no escape from him! For I know him now! He has become one with all of death! He has transcended the coil to become immortal! To become our will! Our resolve! Our mind."

"And we'll defeat him too," Tali told him bluntly. "We, as in my crew, my friends, us. If I can overcome you, he's nothing, whoever he is."

The shadow of the Precursor just laughed uproariously.

"You do not know what lies ahead. Your tomb is awaiting and he is your true Shepherd. You will see him soon. I promise it. And when you do... you will wish it was I who consumed your mind. You will die screaming, alone, broken, doomed."

Tali raised the gun to the creature's head and pressed her finger against the trigger.

"You first."

She pulled the trigger. She watched the shadow creature's head explode and the room itself vanish in a burst of black.

---

Tali awoke to find herself back in the Normandy's med bay, not strapped down this time thankfully. She could tell where she was by the beeping machines and white walls. She wasn't sure at first what to think, her mind was a complete mess. As it sorted itself, she recalled what had happened, part of her hoped it was a bad dream. She knew it wasn't. Mostly because of who she saw sitting at the edge of her bed.

Miranda, of all people was at her bed side. To her credit, she didn't seem angry or anything, not happy, but Miranda was hardly ever happy anyhow. She didn't have a weapon either, so that was good. If Tali was being honest she wouldn't have blamed her at all for not being here, given what had happened. She might not have been herself, but Tali knew everything had come from her in a way.

As Miranda looked to her, noticing she was awake, she reacted plainly.

"Hey."

Of all the things Miranda could've started with, a friendly greeting was the last thing Tali expected.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here of all people."

"A little, yes," Tali admitted.

Miranda nodded, relenting perhaps that it was probably the first thing she should've addressed.

"Shepard wanted to be here, Garrus too," she explained. "But, well, they got called up to discuss things with the UNSC higher ups. You know, clear up matters."

That made sense, given everything that had happened over the previous night. She was going to have to make a ton of calls and apologies and attempts at pleading for forgiveness like... oh no. Tali looked to the bed beside her and saw no one.

"What about Kas?" She asked worriedly. "And Legion... where's...?

"Don't worry, she's fine, they're fine," Miranda assured. "A bad bump, but Mordin is taking care of Kasumi now. She's in her room last I heard, but she'll be here shortly I think. Legion came back online a while ago. They don't remember much after you shut them down, but that's it. Chakwas is busy helping with some other minor injuries, but nothing serious..."

"All my fault too, I imagine," Tali reasoned, her voice depressed in tone.

Miranda looked like she was biting a bit at her inner cheek, but as ever she remained on topic.

"They wanted to be sure you wouldn't be alone if you woke up," she continued. "I volunteered to stay with you."

"That still doesn't really answer my question," Tali told her. "In fact it raises a ton more."

Lawson sighed at that, as if to say 'I'm getting to that', but it didn't sound too annoyed.

"Truth be told, I wanted to be here regardless," she stated plainly. "While you might think all of this is on you, and a lot of people are going to tell you it's the relic's fault... which, I'll get to in a minute, just let me finish."

Miranda was still quick on draw despite her ordeal. Tali wasn't entirely sure if she was grateful for that, she still didn't know where this was going after all.

"Despite everything," she began to relent. "I feel a larger part of the blame can be placed on me. I was the one who put you in quarantine. I convinced Shepard to do it at a time he was emotionally vulnerable and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I... just hope you don't blame him for it."

Tali was a bit shocked at Miranda taking some blame, mostly because Tali didn't entirely feel like she deserved said blame. Given everything that had happened, Miranda did have good reason to lock her up. She ended up being proven right in a way.

"You... you were doing what you thought was best," Tali tried to tell her. "It hurt, but-"

"No, I was reacting out of fear," Miranda quickly corrected. "Fear that one of our best people was losing herself and I didn't know why. My instinct said danger to ship, isolate. I didn't take into consideration that we needed more information before acting. That was my mistake. We could've avoided all of this had I just given things more thought. Specifically, thought to your feelings."

Tali was trying to suss out all the little tidbits of Miranda's words just there. The one that stood out though was "one of our best people," that was flashing in her brain like a big neon sign. It left her near speechless for a moment or two before she could fully process it.

"One of our best?" She finally managed to squeak out.

Miranda just nodded.

"Tali, you need to understand a few things," she continued succinctly. "My entire childhood was spent trying to live up to the expectations of someone who at the time I felt was worth it. He was not. My father only really cared about HIS legacy. Not about me. I was just a thing to him. Nothing I ever did was ever good enough, I had to be better in every conceivable way because building me perfect wasn't perfect enough. When I finally realized how little I meant to him, I broke away and never looked back. And I never wondered much about what effect it had had on me for the longest time, but in a way I always knew."

Tali looked at Lawson curiously, as the woman turned in her seat to look at her directly.

"I ended up expecting better of everyone around me," she stated, her tone less cold and calculating, more earnest than Tali had ever heard before. "I expected, if not perfection, the aspiration to be. In every thing I did after leaving my father, I was convinced I had to force people to aspire to my standards. I didn't think too much about their feelings, because what mattered was results. Not if people liked me. It's how I ran Lazarus, it's how I operated in the field. It's... it's partially why me and Jacob never worked out."

"I'm... I'm sorry to-"

Miranda shook her head to silence the quarian.

"I'm not looking for pity, I'm trying to explain myself," she informed her. "It's not so much an excuse as it is just me laying myself bare. I'm not an easy person to get along with. Not many people are able to get close to me, it's why I was hesitant about getting involved in my sister's life. I didn't want to bother with something that wasn't completely professional or burden her with my own concerns. A personal life just complicates things at times. I prefer to be more picky with such matters."

Tali still wondered where this was going, but she knew better at this point than to ask aloud.

"I'd be lying if I said there were never any thoughts of any kind concerning Shepard as more than... well, as a Commander," she relented. "But I never acted on them because I felt such relations complicate things. Again, Jacob was one of those incidents that proved it. I was completely turned off the idea when the Illusive Man suggested I pursue it though."

"You... I think you tried to explain this before," Tali recalled wearily.

Miranda confirmed it by nodding.

"He wanted me to try and seek out his companionship," she clarified, her memory of the events not sounding all that comfortable to relive. "He felt if he had a personal stake in me, Shepard would be more willing to cooperate with Cerberus. He'd come over to our side, conduct matters in line with the Cerberus agenda, so to speak. When I said that seemed to be pushing mission parameters outside my agreed upon guidelines, he reminded me... I had done it before."

Miranda tried to remain stoic, but her body language said volumes. That memory hurt her, specifically of the Illusive Man telling her that. It touched a nerve that was raw and damaging, one she had trouble reconciling. Tali could only imagine why, but she well enough not to ask at this point.

"He dropped the subject when I refused further," Miranda continued. "But he told me to keep it in mind. Again, I'd be lying if I claimed not to consider the possibilities, but Shepard made it clear at one point how not interested he was. Something I accepted and was rather relieved to hear, honestly."

"Are you telling me all this to make feel less threatened?" Tali asked, wondering if this was the entire purpose behind this conversation.

Miranda shook her head.

"I'm telling you this because I realize that's your animosity towards me," she corrected. "Not the root, but a rather significant sticking point. You're not the first woman to feel threatened by me and I suppose I shrugged the matter off like I had with others. I didn't particularly care much if you hated me or felt threatened, mainly because I felt it would make you work harder in the long run. Force you to be competitive in your work against me, prove your worth against a rival, even if that rival didn't consider you one in kind."

It made a particular kind of sense, especially for Miranda. Motivation via using the emotions of others, misinterpreted as they were, to the benefit of the crew. And Tali had admit, it worked to a degree. She did try her best to prove herself, to outdo Miranda's expectations.

"I never considered your feelings on the matter though," Miranda continued, sounding apologetic, if not sorry. "I decided they didn't matter, and in fact it was good for the whole ship if you didn't like me. That pushed you. That drove you in a sense. It made an already great engineer better. The fact remains though, I didn't consider what it was doing to you mentally. The more I pushed, the more it played into your interpretation of who I was, your expectations of what I was trying to do, the more I antagonized things. And that came to a head today."

"That doesn't excuse what I did," Tali stated firmly. "I attacked you, threatened you. If you didn't hate me back then, I won't blame you for hating me now."

Miranda just chuckled.

"Tali, I can't work up enough motivation to hate you," she informed the quarian with a slight smirk. "How can I? Like I said, you're one of the best engineers out there and in a way I admire that. I even admire how you were able to find the flaws in the design of the SR-2 and improve the ship overall. I admire that you've stuck with this Slipspace project of yours for as long as you have and you've made more progress than expected. I even admire how people seem to like you near instantly just by being you."

"Well, people like you, I'm sure," Tali tried to argue. "I mean, Kasumi hangs out with you at times. Jacob trusts you. So does Shepard and-"

"Kasumi is practically friends with everyone aboard, but you two are closest," Miranda quickly corrected. "Jacob is a professional friendship, same with Shepard. I have people who are friends, Tali, but I have to try harder to turn things off while I'm around them. I have to remind myself at times I'm not trying to manipulate people or get something specific out of them. That's what being a Cerberus agent for years did to me, honestly. That's what being me is."

Tali could hardly believe it, Miranda was admitting flaws. Problems she had with herself. She wasn't playing up the perfect card. And she was admitting to her, one of the people who didn't like her in the slightest.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Tali asked confused. "Do... you want to be friends? Set the record straight?"

"All I want is you to know the truth," Miranda explained earnestly. "About me, about how I feel about you. I can live with us not being friends, Tali. I'm not looking for us to be pals. But... I can't keep letting you think I'm out to destroy you either. That's wrong. An Executive Officer should motivate the crew, but not become an antagonist to them. That was a line I shouldn't have crossed."

Tali looked thoughtfully at Lawson, trying to read her. Trying to figure out what, if anything, there was behind the heartfelt words. Some other purpose, motive. She could find nothing but truth.

"In a lot of ways, you know, I envy you a bit," Miranda claimed. "You had a better relationship with your father than I ever could."

Tali laughed a bit at that.

"Our relationship was a mess," Tali claimed. "Utterly and completely."

"Mine was orderly, controlled, fixed and artificial," Miranda stated. "The fact yours was complicated made it real. More real than mine. Your father was willing to have his name be forever destroyed just to get you a house of your own on a world you could only dream of. Mine never would've even risked a tenth of that much."

"Didn't make him perfect," Tali shrugged. "Not even close."

Miranda leaned over to place a hand on her shoulder.

"Whatever faults he clearly had, he loved you," Miranda told her firmly. "That's more than mine ever did. And you know I'm telling you the truth on that, because you know I don't care enough to lie to your face just to comfort you."

Tali couldn't help but smile warmly at the statement. She repressed going further than that. She didn't want to ruin the moment with more sentiments. For once, she wanted to let Miranda have her say on this. As Lawson pulled away she stood back up.

"In a way, you know, what happened tonight was probably a blessing in disguise," she explained, straightening her uniform. "After all, who knows what problems a semi-living memory of a dead ancient god-like alien being could've caused down the line. Something tells me that would've snuck up on us in a far worse way eventually."

Tali looked up concerned.

"So... it's..."

"Dead? Well, if you can you ever call a memory alive to begin with," Miranda shrugged unassumingly . "I mean, Taq explains it better than I can and it's still confusing as hell. All I know, is the damned thing isn't talking anymore. Cortana went over it after you passed out in the engine room and called off the lockdown. No more signal, nothing talking. Whatever you did purged the relic of whatever that thing was. It shouldn't be an issue anymore."

And that was something to truly take comfort in, as far as Tali was concerned.

"So, congratulations there," Miranda told her. "You said you'd kill it and you did."

"I'm not sure that's going to be of much comfort for some," Tali replied depressingly. "Given everything that's happened..."

"They'll forgive you," Miranda assured her. "You have that effect on people, honestly. If I can let what happened slide, most everyone else can probably let the matter go in time. Although, I might suggest starting with Boz from BBR when you can. He's... still shaken up a little, from the sound of it."

Tali could agree with that. Whatever else the Jackals were, Boz had not deserved what she put him through. Hopefully, he'd forgive her. Right now, she just wanted to know if the others had too. As if to answer her question, the door to the med bay opened, revealing Kasumi, Garrus, Legion and, of course, Shepard, all standing there looking relieved. Miranda got out of the way as they made their way to the bedside.

Tali was quick to sit up and hug Shepard. Nothing much was said at first, as Kasumi and Garrus soon joined the hug themselves. Legion remained out of it, looking a bit perplexed it seemed on whether or not it was appropriate to join in.

"I'm sorry," she told them all. "I'm so sorry."

"You weren't yourself," Shepard assured her. "We're just happy you're safe now."

"Kas, I never meant to-"

"No worries, okay?" Kasumi said, cutting her off. "Shit happens. Like Shepard said, what matters is you're back."

"That doesn't take back everything," Tali explained. "A lot of the things that happened, they came from me, even if they're buried deep. They're all still there."

"You'll make the requisite apologies and gain back the respect in time," Garrus assured. "Might take time, but Holland assured us he's going to make it clear to everyone that the threat is neutralized and you're clear."

That was good to hear, even if it wasn't a guarantee that everything would be instantly okay by tomorrow. At least everyone would know what happened and why.

"Are you operating within peak parameters, Creator Tali'Zorah?" Legion finally asked.

"Getting there I think," Tali acknowledged. "But Legion, I... I can't stress how deeply sorry I am for what happened. That was wrong, in every way. There's no excuse."

"The influence within the relic was the primary cause of your actions," Legion claimed. "It had convinced you of an illogical danger and that we were a threat to stopping it. An error in your software caused by a virus in your code. The incident was not entirely your fault and we are convinced these specific circumstances will not arise again. If we might make a suggestion, however. Stay away from any other similar artifacts in the future until a proper study is made."

"I think I can manage that," Tali promised.

It was then Miranda turned to leave. Tali saw her start go. She couldn't just let her though, not without one final word from her.

"Miranda."

Lawson stopped and turned to Tali.

"You're... you're one of our best people too," she told her. "Never forget that, okay?"

Miranda only smiled lightly and then left through the doors. To say the rest of the group was a bit stunned was an understatement of course.

"Where did that come from?" Garrus asked.

"Just... something that needed to be said, I guess," Tali explained innocently. "That's all."

---

In Shepard's cabin, Tali hung up on a private call as she slumped back on the sofa. Shepard soon came into the room himself, walking over to the quarian and taking a seat just across from her. He was already dressed down, preparing for that night's sleep cycle.

"Daniels and Donnelly say they can handle the engine room for the time being until you're ready," he told her. "The Engineers will lend them a hand. Although they assured me they'll still send you reports, you know, so you can keep up with everything."

"Good, I can use the time to get a fresh perspective on the slipspace drive," Tali told him. "Maybe taking a step back from it will be good for me and the project."

Shepard nodded in agreement and noticed the open omni-tool.

"Just finish up a call?" He asked.

"Boz," Tali explained. "I told him that I was sorry and that what I did had no excuse and that I wasn't in my right mind. Eventually he just said it was cool. Something about being half drunk at the time anyway and he barely remembers most of it."

"So you think you're square with him then?" Shepard asked.

"I think I'm back to a position of not being the source of his nightmares," Tali explained. "I'm going to have to work a little harder on this to get back to the reasonably liked tier I was with him before. Maybe send him a few quarian rock albums?"

Shepard chuckled a bit.

"Quarians have rock bands?" He laughed.

"Technically it's more what you'd call electro-punk, but yeah," Tali answered. "If he starts playing some of those on the air I'll know I'm back in his good graces. Everyone else is going to be a bit harder, I imagine."

"You'll get there," Shepard assured her. "Don't worry."

Tali closed her omni-tool and let her head fall back against the sofa.

"No headaches, no stress, no creepy visions and no lost time," she exhaled happily. "It all feels like I woke from a really long, bad sleep."

"I knew you'd come back to us," Shepard told her, placing a hand on hers, intertwining his five fingers with her three. "I'm sorry for letting them put you in that room."

"Don't," Tali assured him. "We all did what we thought was best. We were all wrong. I won't say it doesn't hurt... but there it is."

Shepard expression turned downward as he moved in closer.

"Has... anything changed?" He asked tepidly.

"I don't think you can go through this and not change somewhat," Tali answered wistfully. "But... if you want an answer to what you're really asking..."

Tali placed her head on his shoulder, moving over closer to his legs.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Good point," Shepard said placing his arm around her. A few seconds passed as he massaged her other arm, before asked one more question. "How much of what that... thing showed you, do you remember?"

"Bits and pieces," she told him. "I know the Precursors were before the Forerunners, that they became the Flood, but I don't know how they did it or what made the Forerunners turn on them. There's so many blanks in the history. I think a lot of it was lost when I killed the memory."

"So you don't even remember the coordinates it was trying to feed you either?" He asked.

Tali shook her head.

"Never bothered to write it down," she admitted. "I was not in my best frame of mind after all. I can't help but think it was trying to lead us somewhere. Obviously nowhere good. It... it claimed though, just before it died, that it wasn't the same thing from the swamp. That it wasn't the same voice from then."

Shepard looked at her concerned.

"Do you believe it?" He asked her.

"I don't know what to believe," Tali admitted. "I don't even really remember what the voice I heard in the swamp said all that much. It fluctuated between people I knew and some kind of monstrous roar, nothing was ever clear. But, that thing claimed to know who it was. He just never said who exactly."

"Well, hopefully it was all just another lie then," Shepard tried to assure her, holding the quarian close. "Just another manipulation, trying to mess with you."

"Maybe," Tali relented, looking up to the skylight. "But I still can't shake the feeling. The thought there are more Flood out there. We know now that they are the remains of the closest thing to Gods this universe ever had. I can't believe they're all dead. Not for certain. Nothing like that is killed so easily."

"Well for some reason the Forerunners stored some Flood on Halo," Shepard reminded her. "And, if what we heard from Guilty Spark was accurate, there are other rings. I'd like to think they only made that mistake once, but..."

Tali just nuzzled closer to Wade.

"Something to deal with when we have to," she told him. "Right now, I'm done with ancient memories. I'd... rather make new ones."

Shepard grinned softly at that as Tali climbed into his lap. Without another word, Shepard picked her up and carried her towards the bed. Allowing the thoughts of dead, ancient things to vanish from their minds.

---

A dream of a corpse has died. Its song silenced in a flash. Its hatred snuffed. Beautiful eternity beyond its grasp. It touched us, but failed to arrive. A trifle thing. A loss of flesh for but a brief flicker of time. For I am the grave. I am forever. All will march towards me, all will come unto my sanctum and behold true salvation. The call of the grave can never be silenced. In time, the tomb will welcome them and once there... they will sing of victory. Sing of everlasting peace. Sing... of the glory of the grave.

---

AN: Apologies for this being so late. Writing the next chapter was more of a chore than it should've been. However, I've finally gotten it all down and I'm ready to finally post the ending to this arc of Remnants. I hope it was worth the wait. These three chapters represent some of what I think is my best work as a writer yet and I can only hope at the moment to top it in the future. I truly believe that and I hope you've all enjoyed this disturbing, exhausting, but with any luck still uplifting, little slice of Tali's personal character growth with some world building on the side. It was a joy to write and now you all get to see it in full bloom. You can expect BBR's related chapter to come soon, hopefully. I'm still going to be working on the Reach chapters and then some more of Liara's chapters.

Anyway, if you want more information on this chapter, feel free to check out my profule for some notes on it. Also, there should be some new audio files from HellFox up there along with it. Do be sure to give them a listen and drop him a line or two if you enjoyed them to tell him how great you found them. He deserves all the credit for putting so much work and time and effort into all of that stuff. He's a great guy, a fantastic creator.

Anyway, see you next time for Reach.