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X
There was still some time before dinner when the two of them had aimlessly made their way past Baden-Baden's fashion district, ascending the limestone stairs, and found themselves in front of what appeared to be a palace.
Shirou stood before it for a moment, baffled.
Huh.
So this was the Friedrichsbad: a bathhouse acting as a foremost attraction of Baden Baden. Renovated shortly after the national ban on gambling threatened the income of the town in the 1800s, what was touted as the most sophisticated and state-of-the-art in bathing amenities was now also a pristine example of Neo-Renaissance architecture, a place where people from around the globe congregated to appreciate its history and amenities.
And of course, take a bath.
Shirou and Chifuyu shared a look.
"We can give it a shot," he suggested. "I haven't had a proper soak since leaving Japan."
Her face scrunched up before dropping along with her shoulders, as if in resignation. She looked ready to argue against it, but…
"... Fine."
She was in the same boat, probably.
The spandrel above the entrance bore a bust of Asclepius, Shirou noted as he held the door open for his companion. Walking inside, it certainly was something to behold. Clearly taking inspiration from the baths in Rome, it didn't look like it was meant to exist as an operating business in the modern era, and yet the caldaria did nonetheless. It gave the impression of standing within a snapshot of a time long past; like they were themselves transported.
History came to life here - a place where past and present merged.
They approached the entrance hall, soaking it all in. Locals came and went, smooth-pored and clean, making their way to and from an ornate marble staircase – Shirou likened it to the one on the Titanic – that stood behind the reception desk.
"Welcome," the receptionist greeted them in english. They definitely looked like foreigners, so the woman defaulted to a more universally understood language. "Do you have a reservation for a private bath?"
The pair blinked. Shirou scratched his ear sheepishly.
"Ah. No—"
The receptionist clasped her hands together.
"The Roman-Irish bath it is, then." She declared briskly. "You can stay for as long as you like, though we would recommend a stay of at least three hours and a few cycles of our seventeen-step process."
Orimura blinked. "Seventeen..?"
"Our attendants will explain inside. Every step is essential," she explained, not letting either one of them get a word in. "The price per admission would be thirty-five Euro, though if you wish to add on the soap and brush massage, it'd be nineteen Euro extra."
The redhead looked over to his companion, uncertain. Unhelpfully, she just shrugged her shoulders.
Why not, then.
"We'll take it," he relented.
"I'm glad to hear it. Please give me a moment while I print your entrance tickets and issue you your locker keys." She typed away at the computer behind the desk. "A sheet will be provided inside; the men's locker room is to the left upstairs, the women's to the right. The first seven steps of the bathing process are segregated by gender, and the rest of the process will be mixed. Heated towels will be provided near the exit once you are done, and tea will be provided in the reading room."
Shirou nodded absently. "And where can we get our bathing suits?"
"Bathing–" The receptionist looked up sharply, offended. "Friedrichsbad is a textile-free bathhouse."
Textile-free? That meant…
Oh.
Sparing himself, Shirou made sure to keep Orimura out of his line of sight.
"Hahaha…" he laughed awkwardly, doing his best to keep his smile in place. "I see. That's alright, then. We've changed our mind. We'll just take a look around for a little bit—maybe see the ruins downstairs—before heading out. I don't think—"
"That's fine."
He froze, his neck slowly swivelling toward the unabashed Japanese woman accompanying him. Noticing his look, she crossed her arms and looked away with a huff.
"I've had nothing but military cold showers for months on end," she grumbled in Japanese. "I'm not letting you take this from me."
Didn't she see the bigger issue here?
"What about—" he cut himself off, looking to the receptionist for help. The woman was just smiling blankly, uncaring or unaware of the issue at hand. "Don't you think it might be awkward?" he tried.
"It's a bathhouse." She scoffed. "We're not going to be the only ones naked. It's normal."
"That's not what I–" Shirou ran a palm down his face, frowning, "Don't you think, considering the events of the past few days, that us doing this together is a little…"
He left the word unspoken, but it seemed to reach the woman all the same, if the light dusting of pink on her cheeks were any indication.
"'Weird'? Are you a child?" Orimura goaded him, full of bravado. "It's only weird if you make it weird."
That got under his skin. Gritting his teeth, Shirou retrieved his wallet before he set down three Fifty-Euro bills onto the counter.
"We'll take it."
The lady looked quite pleased with herself.
"Great! Here are your locker keys. Please make your way upstairs at once. We hope you enjoy your stay."
X
X
"I got it!'
Ichika's expression hardened, his stance widening, as the volleyball came torpedoing toward him. His legs wobbled a little but he had successfully received his classmate's serve, bumping it towards Charlotte—Charl—before the girl set it high for Rin to leap, arms raised–
SMASH
The ball rocketed behind Cecilia and Laura, cratering itself with a cloud of sand.
Hell yeah!
"Nice one, Rin!"
"Ha! Too easy!"
"Kyah!"
This was fun.
Today was a day that he was looking forward to, actually, but he didn't know how much he needed this opportunity to just—turn his brain off, until the day actually came. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, obviously—the girls gave him about as much grief as they usually did—but it just felt like there was less on his shoulders today. Like he wasn't being evaluated.
Laura huffed.
"What are you celebrating for? That was clearly an out."
"Huh?" Lingyin looked indignant. "No way. It's in!"
"The ball's more than halfway out the boundary. Are you blind?"
"I'm not the one wearing an eyepatch all the time! And just look at the crater, the ball clearly was in upon impact! Are you stupid?"
"You—"
His smile unmoved, the boy completely tuned out the squabble between Rin and Laura, who were holding up the dead ball over—actually, he didn't care.
Today was a good day.
That would be his mantra. If he spoke it into existence then without question the rest of the trip would be smooth sailing.
Nevermind that little fiasco in the morning when Cecilia wanted him to apply sunscreen on her, and the frankly bizarre argument it caused between the others.
…Today was a good day.
"Ichika."
He turned around.
"Here, it's your half." Charl held out half of an orange popsicle with a smile.
"Huh, thanks a bunch!" Gratefully, he accepted the sweet treat and immediately took a big bite, wincing slightly at the icy numbness spreading across his cheeks.
At least Charl was still nice. For the most part. Sure, it was a bit of a shock to discover Charles was actually a Charlotte after walking in on her in the shower, but she was still the gentle, patient friend under it all. It was almost a shame that after she chose to out herself, Charl was reassigned to bunk with Laura, but at least he had a room all to himself.
… That was good, right?
He glanced at his first roommate from the corner of his eyes.
Houki had observed the little exchange with a sullen glower before turning away in a huff.
He understood her annoyance. She was told to move out of Ichika's dormitory to make room for Charles—it'd make sense for the two male students to be together, after all—only for Charles to turn out to be a crossdresser forced to spy on him by her dirtbag father. He'd feel annoyed, too.
But a small part of him wished Houki and the rest of his friends understood that it wasn't about them.
"Everyone!" Yamada-sensei called out to them, cupping her mouth so that her small voice could travel a little further from where she was lazing about next to his sister. "Time to wash up for dinner!"
Her words were met with groans, of course—everyone else was having fun, too—but everyone did as they were told. Maybe for the best, Ichika thought. His classmates were behaving themselves currently, but who really knew with these psychos.
"Come on, Cecilia," Ichika called. "Let's start dismantling the net quickly. I heard dinner's gonna be sashimi, after all!"
"Eh?" Cecilia blinked, a little nonplussed. "Oh. Right. Raw fish. How…" She had a faraway look in her eyes as she followed Ichika's guidance in stowing the net and antennae away. "How nice."
As he followed the crowd slowly making its way back toward the ryokan, he looked over his shoulder and soaked in the sight of the setting sun hitting the horizon at sea. The light glimmered across the waves, turning each crest into a shimmering ribbon of molten amber, turning the ocean from a roiling cerulean to a tapestry with occasional splashes of liquid gold.
It really was a beautiful beach.
With everyone leaving, the sandy shore was completely vacated aside from a single person.
Chifuyu's umbrella was on its lonesome on the far end of the property, noticeably secluded from the rest of them despite being their supervisor. Ichika knew not to take it personally, having known his sister and her lone wolf-type personality his whole life.
She stood out from under the shade, making her way down to the water in her white swimsuit now that everyone had already left.
Hah. That was just like her.
Strong… Solitary… Beautiful…
"Ichika?" Charl called out to him questioningly. He was snapped out of his thoughts.
"Sorry. Coming."
The two collected their groundsheets and the red cooler Charl had wisely brought along, and started the trek back towards the hotel.
She sighed.
"There's so many enemies…" she murmured, "and they're all so strong. It'll be even tougher with Orimura-sensei in the mix."
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Ichika blinked.
"N-Nothing. Nevermind." Charl smiled resignedly. "The strongest enemy is still Ichika, after all."
Before he could even start deciphering whatever that meant, Laura and Rin had grabbed onto each of his arms. He barely reacted.
"You'll sit next to me at dinner, right Ichika?"
"A bride's place is next to his Lover. Cease your attempts at adultery, wicked witch of the orient."
"Wicked—you're not even married!"
"Leck mich."
"You—"
He smiled placidly as he did his best to tune out their bickering once more.
… Today was a good day.
Today was a good day.
It was a shame he wasn't rooming with Chifuyu tonight.
At least then, he knew he'd be left alone until the morning.
X
Shirou helped himself to another bite of melon—Ibara King, the dark-green flesh sweet and refreshingly juicy, compliments of the Ryokan as a welcoming gift—as he kept his eyes trained towards the sliding doors.
He was on high alert.
More so than some would say was warranted by the current situation—alone in a ryokan's luxury suite—but those people simply didn't know or didn't understand what it was like to deal with Shinonono Tabane.
Left alone in the large suite for now until his wife returned from her day at the beach, he tried to keep his mind off what was to come, whatever that could be. Their suitcases were laid open besides the futon and he took it upon himself to sort their laundry and sundries ahead of time. A half-used bottle of sunscreen laid on its side to his right.
His ears perked up.
He heard the floorboards creaking outside the room.
The man froze and began channelling magical energy the moment someone knocked on the door.
"Good evening, Sir! Would you like us to bring dinner to the suite?"
Shirou visibly deflated.
Of course. It was just one of the Ryokan attendants.
What was he thinking? Tabane wasn't the kind of person that would just knock.
…Or would she?
He tried to disperse those thoughts. He was in his own head right now.
"No, thank you," he responded calmly. "I'll wait for my wife to get back and eat together with her. I'll give you a call when we're ready."
"It's no problem!" the woman assured him. "I'll take my leave now."
He heard her footfalls getting softer and softer before he relaxed.
Like all ryokans, the service was flawless, with the attendants striking a good balance between being friendly and intuitively helpful without being intrusive.
The last time Shirou had stayed somewhere like this was the 3rd Year class trip to Kyoto.
Of course, back then he and his fellow classmates hadn't been served matcha, wagashi and melon upon their arrival. Or even stayed in a room nearly half as big as this one.
Left alone, Shirou allowed himself to indulge his thoughts of halcyon days a moment longer before he stood up, depositing what was left of the melon into the mini-fridge for his wife later, before sliding open the shoji leading to the backyard, sinking into one of the nearby chairs with a huff.
The veranda overlooked the garden, artfully partitioned by tall bamboo for privacy. A stream flowed serenely nearby; lined with rocks awash with lush moss. Despite the suite facing the mountain instead of the sea, a sea breeze wafted and intermingled with the scent of freshly cut grass.
Shirou allowed himself to sink deeper, gently rocking his chair back and forth, like a rowboat tied to the dock, sipping away at a cup of buckwheat tea all the while.
From the corner of his eye, he noticed the room's decently-sized private onsen from where it was situated right outside the sliding door.
He thought about it for a moment.
Why not?
He didn't know when Chifuyu would be coming back, but he figured he might as well relax while he waited for her.
He stood up, changing out of his clothes, draping them in a neat pile over the armrest. Grabbing the little bucket, he scooped some of the onsen water, using a small towel to perfunctorily scrub wherever was within his arm's reach before upending the hot water all over himself.
Now ready, Shirou gingerly eased himself into the hot water and let out a sigh of relief.
He needed this.
Already he could imagine the water leaching away the aches borne from the doldrums of daily life. His mind felt clear. Closing his eyes, arms resting on the bath's edges, he tipped his head back; his senses were deadened to everything but the sound of rustling leaves and chirping cicadas, the wooden tap running gently beside him.
At that moment, for all he knew, Shirou might as well have been alone in the world.
He stayed there, soaking, dead to the world, for a good quarter of an hour when he heard the shoji doors slide open.
Looking over his shoulder, he saw his wife standing over him, towel wrapped around her waist.
"Ah. How did it go?" He smiled, watching her as she grabbed the same bucket to rinse herself off.
"Well enough," she answered, loofah in hand. She dropped her towel and folded it over her lap; Shirou's eyes traced her naked back. "The kids will be done with dinner soon, so I wanted to make sure I was back before they headed to their rooms. Maya was kind enough to take over for me this evening."
Shirou hummed in acknowledgment. That reminded him…
"You didn't tell her anything… weird, about me, did you?" He asked.
Chifuyu paused mid-scrub.
"What do you mean?"
He scratched his cheek. "I had the strangest feeling that I didn't look anything like she expected when you introduced us this morning."
"I can't imagine why." His wife snorted, continuing to scrub away under her arms. "I told her you were a softie, I guess?"
He blinked. "Maybe she expected someone smaller."
"Maybe she did."
Shirou chuckled, watching as she dumped the contents of the bucket over herself with little hesitation.
"Any sign of Tabane?"
"No. I doubt she'd be showing up until tomorrow. Her 'grand entrance' will probably be… observed," she tried, lacking for a better word. "She does love an audience, after all."
He snorted, understanding what she meant nonetheless.
Chifuyu quickly finished washing up and made her way over to him.
He smiled up at her.
"Welcome back."
Chifuyu dipped her foot in first, so he scooched a little to the side to give her room. The woman sank down and dropped her head against his shoulder.
"Good to be back," she uttered in response, her voice nary a whisper. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in closer to him, basking in the feeling of her supple skin touching his.
Shirou was struck – not for the first time – with the sudden realisation that this was his wife. His hand roamed, rough and tender as he squeezed gently, as if to confirm to himself that she was truly there, and not some apparition conjured by his mind. He was hers just as she was his, with fading ideas of bruises and bites to prove it, if anyone knew where to look.
His wife.
He always liked the sound of it.
"... This is nice." Chifuyu commented, head still resting upon his shoulder.
Shirou hummed in acknowledgment. "Nicer than Baden-Baden?"
"Eh…" She raised a hand in a so-so gesture. "I don't think the two are in the same ballpark, are they?"
Her head tilted up to look at him, coy.
"Besides," she murmured, "there's something to be said about privacy here, isn't there?"
She shifted slightly, and Shirou tensed.
… Oh?
He looked down; her hand was pretty far up his lap.
"Frisky, aren't we?" he whispered teasingly, his own arm tracing her waist as it trailed south. "I thought you were tired."
Chifuyu scoffed. "I lazed about on the beach for the greater part of the day. If anything, I'm bored."
"Certainly words to put one in the mood."
"Would you rather I get to the point?" She pouted. "Goodness, Shirou. Whatever happened to the concept of foreplay?"
He raised a brow mischievously.
"Foreplay, huh?"His hands moved lower, readying for his opportunity to strike.
"Maybe after being together for so long, it's unnecessary." he mused, pretending to be deep in thought.
Chifuyu smirked.
"Oh? Really?" Her hand trailed higher. "Are you saying you no longer feel the desire for me to—-eep!""
A shriek escaped her, quickly turning into a giggle, as he swiftly pulled her off her bum and dropped her right on top of him. His arms were wrapped tightly around hers, strapping them down to her sides, while his head was buried in her chest. She could see nothing but his eyes staring up at her over her cleavage, brows raised; she laughed even harder.
Shirou braced, and stood, the water splashing as their bodies breached the surface, his arms full of Chifuyu, as he turned around, gently laying her onto the warm wooden deck. He crawled, sea breeze tinged with freshly cut grass lightly cool against his skin, until he was face-to-face with a smiling Chifuyu, her hands cupping his face as he kissed her thoroughly, a hand upon the deck and a hand upon her ample chest, her tongue tracing the shape of his lips.
"Tell me the truth." Chifuyu murmured, as their lips parted, panting the same breaths. "Back in the Friedrichsbad, can you honestly say you never imagined this between us?"
Shirou blinked.
"Actually, considering where the conversation took us back then," and at this his smile was suddenly devoid of lust, replaced with something immense, "I can't say that seeing you naked was the foremost thing on my mind."
His wife flushed, glancing away, and something deeply primal and possessive within him felt profoundly triumphant all over again.
"And now?" She smiled.
Shirou smirked, crawling back down, legs submerging back into the hot water inch by inch.
"You know," he murmured, laying a kiss on her navel as he slowly approached his target, "I heard we're going to be served oysters as one of the dinner courses today."
"I don't like oysters." She pouted.
"No? Well that's a shame."
The water reached his shoulders, and as Shirou reached his destination her legs parted, lifted, thighs resting upon his broad shoulders and legs trailing down his back.
Chifuyu had propped herself on her elbows, brown eyes burnt black with arousal and amusement.
"It's alright." She squeezed his head gently with her thighs, still smirking. "You can have mine."
That was all the invitation he needed.
His lips closed the distance, and Chifuyu threw her head back in a soundless cry of pleasure.
X
"Oh~! Right there!"
"Like this?"
"Oh—mm!"
"You're very tense. What if I do this?"
"A-AH!"
Charlotte, Rin and Laura had their ears pressed to the door so tightly that it was a wonder it didn't just give out. Their faces went through some ranges of embarrassment and annoyance.
Were they eavesdropping? No! Well—yes. But it wasn't as if they intended to! Charlotte had brought a board game hoping to spend some time teaching it to Ichika. Rin had brought cards, hoping to play dai di like they used to. Laura had tagged along just for the principle of it.
They just didn't expect Cecilia of all people to have beaten them to the punch.
And from the sounds of things, the worst had come.
"Enough!" Laura growled, reaching the end of her wits.
"Wait—"
"Hold on—"
CRASH!
The pleas of the other two girls fell on deaf ears as the tiny German girl kicked the door in.
Ichika and Cecilia both froze, staring shell-shocked at the mess made of the entranceway. The boy was kneeling over the girl with his thumbs pressed into her legs.
None of the other three knew how to react. He was clearly doing something with her and their position was suspicious…
"Wait!" he shouted. "Calm down!"
They didn't calm down. An awful start from Ichika.
"Cecilia's legs were hurting because she wasn't used to being in seiza for so long. I used to give my sister massages all the time growing up, so I invited her here after dinner to give her one to help with the soreness!"
… That was better.
Still suspicious, the girls turned to Cecilia.
"Yeah. Just a massage. That's right," she confirmed. Strangely—or not-so-strangely—she didn't seem too thrilled about that. Disappointed, even.
Charlotte sighed. "I see. That makes a little more sense."
Tensions dropped.
"Well then, how about me?" Rin asked, hands on her hips. "I want a massage, too, Ichika!"
Tensions rose.
"If you're going to be giving them out, I want one too!"
"Laura—"
Panicking, Ichika threw his hands out in front of him and tried to laugh it off. In the end, it was something between a pained cry and a sob. If only there was something he could say—
Wait. There was something.
"Well actually, I was gonna stop by Chifuyu's room! She's, uhm—she could certainly use a massage. After such a long day! I worry about her, you know. Always on her lonesome, that sister of mine."
Take the hint. Take the hint. Take the hint.
Charlotte sighed.
"I suppose that makes sense," she acquiesced. "Miss Orimura's loneliness has led to quite the depression."
The others were taken aback. Even Cecilia scooted out from under him and looked inquisitive.
"Instructor…?"
"Orimura-sensei?"
Ichika's shoulders slumped.
"Ah. Right. You see, she's—" The explanation stopped abruptly. He didn't really know how to broach the topic, given current circumstances.
… There really wasn't a good way to phrase it, was there?
Twiddling with his thumbs for a moment, he tried again. "My sister has a tough time with other people, which you've probably all noticed by now. She's reached a certain age, and to make up for her lack of a love life, I think she's gone as far as to… pretend that she has a relationship."
The others didn't know what to say, but Laura gasped almost immediately.
"No! I don't believe it! Meine lehrerin wouldn't stoop to that level! The idea that she would need anyone!"
"Hold your horses, Kraut." Rin muttered, rubbing her chin. "This actually would explain a few things I've noticed…"
Cecilia huffed.
"We should speak to her, then."
All eyes were on her right away.
"Absolutely not," Ichika snapped back, wanting to bury the idea six feet under. "She'll kill us!"
"An intervention is important!" the blonde insisted. "She won't like it, but we should do it because we care. Because you care."
"When you put it that way," Rin mumbled thoughtfully.
Oh no.
"L-Look," he stammered, "if we're really gonna do this, isn't it better if it just comes from me? From family? You guys don't need to tag along, right? You should just stay here!"
"A-ah," Cecilia scratched her cheek, "well that's…"
"Moral support, Ichika!" Lingyin declared.
"Yeah!" Cecilia eagerly agreed. "We'll be there and support you!"
"If meine lehrerin and sister-in-law needs a heart-to-heart," Laura declared, "I will be there for her!"
"That's right! We should– wait, what do you mean, sister-in-law?" Rin shrieked. "Don't get ahead of yourself, you little–"
This was going to be like the threat of nuclear war, wasn't it? Never fully gone, ready to be ignited at a moment's notice. Years of side-skirting, trying to spare his sister's feelings… Was it all going to be torn apart because of a bunch of sociopathic schoolgirls?
Grabbed by the arm by both Laura and Cecilia, he was dragged out of the room. He looked to Charlotte, hoping the girl would say something, but all he got in return was a sheepish smile.
Enemies on all sides. He was never safe.
By the time they got to the end of the hallway, the boy had given up. He had stopped kicking and dragging his feet and just followed along despondently.
They made their way down the stairs, into a wing which appeared to be where the fancier rooms were situated, making their way through the open walkway that cut through the gardens and to where a standalone suite was located when they stopped.
Ichika blinked.
Houki was there.
… In front of Chifuyu's door, rather. With her ear pressed up against it, face beet-red.
She didn't notice them at all at first, actually. Once she finally did, she didn't bother questioning their presence. Instead, she pointed a trembling finger at the door.
It didn't take them long to understand what she was worried about. They didn't even have to get that close to hear the noises coming from the other side.
In direct contrast to the dainty sighs and cries Cecilia made mid-massage, the noises coming from behind the door could only be described as… animalistic.
"O–oooh~!"
"Hn! Hn! Hn!"
"Haah~ Haah~ Haah~ Haaaah~"
"Harder! I—hnnnnn!"
Ichika furrowed his brow.
"Is she… already getting a massage?"
The look he received from the girls wasn't quite describable. They all wore some sort of pale, consternated expression that sat somewhere between baffled and pitying.
"That sounds like a little more than a massage," Rin tried to tell him, unable to hide a wince as a particularly loud slap resonated through the walls.
"Yeah, that's one way of putting it," Cecilia added, unable to look up from her feet.
"I-instructor…"
Laura was in her own little world. She kept motioning to grab at the door but pulled back as if it were Pandora's box. What was up with her?
Ichika frowned, but before he could even voice the question in his mind the noises changed from grunts and bumps to what could only be described as slurps and—
He blinked.
"Is Chifuyu-nee… choking?"
Cecilia went even redder.
Lingyin let out a low whistle, even as she pressed her ear closer towards the door, face flushed.
Charlotte grabbed him gently by the arm.
"Ichika," her face similarly crimson, "maybe we should leave."
"Can someone please explain—"
"Shh!" Houki glared at them and brought her finger up to her lips. "Do you want her to hear us?"
Too late.
The noises coming from his sister's room came to an abrupt stop.
They could all hear footsteps approaching them until…
"Shit!" Cecilia cursed. "We have to—"
WHAM!
The sliding door flew open.
Standing before them was Chifuyu wearing her yukata that was clearly thrown on in great haste. Her hair was dishevelled, marks littered her neck, and her face was flushed. A little voice in the back of their heads told them that her appearance had little to no relation to how angry she was.
That wasn't to say she wasn't angry.
"What. The FUCK." She ground out, incandescent with rage.
"Ah, Orimura-sensei." Rin muttered absentmindedly. "We were just… um… in the area. Watching the moon. We'll just go— EVERY MAN FOR HIMS— hurrghk"
Chifuyu grabbed the poor girl by the collar before she could run off. No one else had the balls to try anything funny.
"Do none of you understand the concept of a curfew?" the older woman uttered through clenched teeth. "You're supposed to go to your rooms, stay there, and not go around spying on people—your teacher especially—in the middle of the night like a bunch of goddamn DEGENERATES."
Ichika was at a total loss for words. Seeing Chifuyu like this… he was starting to get a sneaking suspicion.
"Chifuyu-nee, what's going on, exactly?"
His sister stared at him as if he grew a second head.
"The fuck do you think?!"
And then he appeared.
As if on cue, a real brick shithouse of a Japanese man walked up to the door behind Chifuyu, yukata similarly thrown on in a hurried fashion. A half-empty bottle of Pocari Sweat was switched over to his other hand as he brought his arm up to wipe his glistening brow.
The eyes of the man in question widened perceptibly upon noticing the group.
Laura was as pale as a ghost.
Houki's mouth was flapping like a fish out of water.
Charlotte and Cecilia grabbed onto each other as if startled by something terrifying.
Rin stared at him in shock, then as if being hit by a sudden sense of recognition, did a double-take and pointed at him, hand shaking and open-mouthed.
"Oh! Hello," he greeted them in a fashion that was considerably more laid back than his partner's response. He scratched the back of his head, smiling, though there was a light dusting of pink on his cheeks; he was somewhat embarrassed. "It's nice to meet you all… although I didn't expect it to be under these… regrettable circumstances."
He stepped in front of a petrified Ichika, hand outstretched.
"I'm Orimura Shirou. Chifuyu's husband," he smiled warmly. "I'm here to—oh."
His little speech met an abrupt end as Ichika fainted and dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes. None of the girls bothered to catch him, catatonic as they were.
His wife shot him a stink-eye.
Well, that probably could have gone better.