I can explain myself. Sorta. The circle of life happened.

After decades of obsessing over Deidara and Naruto I moved on to a different fandom and learned that disappearing is a bad habit of mine. But I know the pain of a un-updated and abandoned fic where the author disappears without a word. Whether there is a few, one, or none of you still out there that remembers this story and everything I've written, I'm here to provide some sort of closure.

No, I won't be writing more chapters and updating more.

But I did have lil visions that I still remember almost a decade later lol so I'm going to summarize what I had in mind when I started my fics. Not gonna lie, my writing did not improve (probably the opposite) and when I re-read my stuff I do cringe a bit inside. I was a high schooler when I started the first version of Revival's End and now I graduated college and am a starving artist doing his very best.

The end of Revivals end, wow, okay here we go.

It was supposed to be a comedic rom-com with some angst/hurt/comfort with a bittersweet ending.

As you guys could tell Tsunade is the very enthusiastic matchmaker whose inner mom vibes are in full bloom and she wants grand-children like right now.

Inner is the thirsty bitch inside Sakura who is at this point desperate because Sakura in this universe never dated, never had a boyfriend, is a extreme workaholic, and inner wants to get laid. Sakura is honestly more interested in her intense need to become stronger and better to catch up with the ridiculously overpowered main characters of Naruto than getting laid. Inner may be horny but Sakura is a demi-sexual and with being busy all the time she doesn't have time to have an emotional connection with other people to appease horny Inner.

Deidara is just as confused as everyone else why he is still undead. He still looks undead with the black eyes and blue rings and semi-grey skin complexion. He is a bit sexist and self-centered for a while and annoys the fuck out of Sakura. At some point they are almost at each other's throats, but Sakura is trying to be more mature as her promotion depends on this mission. Turns out the lack of stimulus, ban of making art, and lack of expelling his bombastic boom baby chakra is making him more irritable than he usually is. Sakura and Deidara finds the solution of just chaotic beating the shit out of each other but in a sparring environment that helps with the pent up-ness. Deidara insists that despite the fact he can't use his chakra Sakura should go full throttle, it helps with the adrenaline junkie in him. "I heal up immediately anyways" is Deidara's convincing argument. Also the fact that he is just really good at dodging, brings up how he escaped Kakashi, Naruto, and woodman with both arms. Sakura reluctantly agrees and they find it fun but she never aims to kill whenever she uses her chakura. Deidara starts respecting her and Sakura starts finding Deidara fun.

At some point Sakura apologize about Sasori but doesn't regret it. Deidara is chill about it, he says in the end he lived longer than a master artist who spouts about eternity. And that he is used to people leaving him and him leaving people as well. Nothing lasts forever and all y'know? It's a calm, insightful conversation.

For some reason I wanted Teuchi, ramen man, to kind of become a mild parental figure to Deidara. He is just so normal, a civilian, a father, and just overall a good guy that Deidara unconsciously finds him unthreatening and finds himself listening to him. At some point in the story Deidara slips away from everyone and comes to realize he doesn't want to leave Konoha while everyone is going crazy over his disappearance. They find him chilling at Ichiraku chatting with Teuchi and Ayame like he did nothing wrong. Teuchi totally adopted him and is determined to beat this terrorist teenager with stern kindness and make him into a better mannered man.

After lots of infighting, comedic rivalry, and very complicated feelings over the fact they (the Sakura's friends squad) are starting to feel fond of a man their age who has killed hundreds and hundreds of people for his art they become wary friends. Kinda like a slap of wow some people grew up in fcked up ways and turned out fcked up no matter how young they are, flashback of other villains they encountered who were mistreated in the past (gaara included). Kinda sad that this guy didn't even reach 20 and died. They all get drunk at some point and crash at Sakura's place. There's a scene where Sakura wakes up and sees the sun shine through the windows on the mess of passed out bodies in her living room. It's a familiar and fond sight and seeing Deidara included in this scene with her friends gets her feeling soft. When they wake up Deidara complains how he can apparently heal from anything but can't escape hangovers.

Throughout the fic as Deidara gets more comfortable and happy his skin gains back its original color and his eyes get a bit lighter and brighter.

The angst part.

Deidara comes from an extinct clan that has the explosive chakra, there was a massacre done through betrayal and in utmost secrecy. Secret part is not only because its a assassination of a whole clan but because its actually the real first time the great shinobi nations got together as one to commit this massacre. The clan was growing too strong and Iwa was losing control of them, the clan was entertaining the idea of breaking off of Iwa and being their own small village. Nobody liked that and they posed a danger with their strength and famed fearlessness. Everyone agreed the clan needed to be wiped out, Deidara is one of very few surviving very young children that survived. As the one with the most potential of being a strong shinobi, Deidara was taken in by the kage to train and keep an eye on him. Deidara grew up to be a free spirited and powerful ninja and the elders starts arguing that he should've been assassinated as it's hard to control him. Thus how Deidara overheard one of these arguments and thought the one adult that he trusted agreed to his assassination. Onoki just wanted to appease the insistent nagging and had replied 'I'll think about it' which in Deidara's book is a yes. It was the final nudge he needed to leave the village.

I like to view Deidara as the kind of character that doesn't really hold a grudge against people, he got better things to do. Like if you wronged him then disappeared he would get pissed for a bit but forget your existence. But if you reappeared before him he would remember and be like 'hey, it's you, you bastard!' then attack. His biggest grudge though is his rivalry/obsession with beating the Sharingan though lol. It's not like he can totally avoid Itachi when you're in the same organization.

This being said, Deidara does not remember what happened as his brain decided to seal his traumatic childhood memories away. He is aware though, he knows something bad happened and that his brain sealed it away and shrugs that it is what it is. If he doesn't remember it he isnt bothered enough to try. Again, he has other priorities; being bombastic. I don't know if I was going to reveal this to Sakura or to other characters or only to the readers. A 'you know something the characters will never know' aka 'I got a jar of dirt, guess what is inside it' boom they can't cause amnesia.

Onoki never apologizes in the end but looks away when the one year agreement is complete and Deidara is still existing as a way of attempting to give something back to him. Deidara never ends up forgiving Onoki but out of sight out of mind. (The agreement being that Konoha takes Deidara in as a civilian for a year and if he hasn't faded by then then Iwa takes him back as a prisoner)

Tsunade, despite all her matchmaking, didn't realize it would get so serious nor what would happen to Deidara in the end.

The fic goes through a year of Sakura and Deidara going through the Enemies to Respect to Friends to Lovers trope. Deidara has a sense of calm and belonging for the first time in his life as he is with Sakura as romantic partners. He finds his art muse in Sakura as he meets her fist to the face (many times) and meets Inner Sakura, very explosive. And his physical appearance is almost completely normal now except for his eyes.

It's been over a year and Sakura has told Deidara "I love you" several times but he only looks at her fondly and shows his love through actions, never with words. She has her suspicion of why he won't say the words back.

So the end scene goes with a domestic and peaceful day going by with a light swirling of questions about their future together. But overall, they are both happy and very in love with each other. As the two are walking back home at night with the stars out and a refreshing breeze Deidara stops Sakura and talks about everything he loves about her, it starts sounding like a goodbye. Sakura starts tearing up as she senses what is coming and holds him pleading him to not say the words, that it's okay if he never says it as she already knows. That she can tell from his actions and his affections that she doesn't need the words. But Deidara just smiles, telling her that she will be okay and how strong and amazing she is. That he has to say it as he never in his life felt this way and needs to tell her. It's a quiet scene as they talk quietly to each other before he finally tells her "I love you" and his eyes lose the black as he confesses. Before he fades away, he gives her a kiss, another confession and Sakura sees his fully restored bright blue on white eyes as he disappears.

It's supposed to be a bittersweet, no regrets ending. Sakura vows to live life with more fun and time set aside to do creative work that sparks joy inspired by Deidara's 'live your life in a way you feel no regrets when facing death'.

I hope I wrote it in an understandable way? If there are questions I may be willing to answer them. I'm going to try to do this with other fics I wrote as I squirm while rereading them hehe

Thanks to everyone years ago who read, kudo-ed, and commented! It's really hard when one has so many ideas but lack the skills and attention span to complete and even start on anything. Yes, I have ADHD and the big sad. I have a couple more stories I started in my files that I never published that I may release into the public/wild then disappear again.

Naruto has been my childhood, teenage-hood, and more into my early 20s. When it ended I was sad but also about damn time. I refuse to acknowledge Boruto's existence and how offended I was when I accidentally came upon the villain that supposedly was inspired by Deidara. Disgusting. Also, Sakura deserved better.

But anyways thank you to the Naruto community and its authors/readers!

I have moved on to more older and hunkier things *cough* Hanzo from overwatch *cough* I hope all of you the best and wow we survived a pandemic.