Chapter 31 – the great lobster roll controversy
Zuko was not having a great start to his week. The scratches left on his face by Azula's nails had healed over the weekend, but the foot injury still bothered him greatly. The ER doctors had done an x-ray of his foot and while it wasn't broken and didn't require a cast, it still hurt a lot and Zuko required a walking stick to get around. It made Zuko a lot less efficient in the kitchen and forced him to rely upon On Ji more than before.
Unfortunately, it came at a time when The Blue Spirit restaurant was going through a time of turmoil and division. Zuko and Mai's relationship troubles had created factions within the workplace, with Zuko and Jet in one corner, and everyone else in the other. As a result of all this drama, communication with On Ji was breaking down at a crucial time when they really needed to be on the same page.
Zuko was aware that as the co-owner of the restaurant, it was up to him to sort out these issues, but it was easier said than done when his fellow co-owner did not appear very cooperative. Zuko didn't really know how to approach Mai when they were going through a crisis. Usually, he just laid low and waited for the drama to blow over, and then a few months later they'd just effortlessly get back together as if nothing had happened. But the reality of Zuko's current situation was that he couldn't afford to wait months for things to blow over, because if he did that, he would be handing the victory in this restaurant competition over to Azula.
And it wasn't as if Zuko wanted for the relationship with Mai to be over. He still loved Mai and wanted her. It was just that Mai often made being with her harder than it should be. With Mai, they didn't really get each other just from meaningful stares, like in some idiotic romcom. Zuko found it hard to talk about his feelings and Mai was generally not the most talkative person. Zuko often felt like he was failing to please Mai in their relationship, and the thought of asking what he should be doing differently just seemed so very embarrassing, so the struggles of communication just kept festering and festering.
It didn't help that Zuko had completely blown up after learning about the drunk orgy involving Mai and their coworkers. It hadn't been Zuko's idea to start seeing other people. Just because he had acted on it by fooling around with On Ji and Jet, and then a few more times with Jet alone, didn't mean that Zuko wasn't going to get angry and jealous when Mai had sex with their coworkers. Mai should have known that Zuko would become jealous and she should have been more respectful of his feelings.
Things became even worse when Ruon Jian blurted out about Mai accepting his marriage proposal. Zuko had fired him on the spot before chasing Ruon Jian down the main street while wielding the large industrial blender as a club. Once Mai had found out what Zuko had done, she had yelled at him before rehiring her darling Ruon Jian. Mai had also stated that she had no intentions of marrying Ruon Jian or anyone else for that matter, but that hadn't stopped Ruon from clinging on to his delusions that he and Mai were currently engaged.
With all this drama surrounding Zuko, he had decided to channel his rage in the only productive outlet that he could think of, which was to crush Azula in their restaurant competition. A few days ago, The Northern Lights had posted their menu changes for the month of June, and among the new introductions, Zuko had noticed that Azula's restaurant was now offering a roll made with fresh Mo Ce Sea lobster. This was a menu item that could prove to be a big hit, which was why Zuko had dispatched his last remaining loyal ally, Jet, to acquire said lobster roll so that Zuko could sample it.
While waiting for Jet's return, Zuko's thoughts inevitably turned to his… boyfriend? Zuko frowned when thinking about Jet in those terms, still feeling uncomfortable with the idea. He preferred to think about Jet as a friend with benefits, because at least that way he didn't have to deal with all those confusing questions regarding his sexuality. And it wasn't as if Zuko found it easier to discuss his feelings with Jet, they never did that because it would just be very embarrassing. Still, he and Jet often understood each other wordlessly, just like true bros would.
Zuko still didn't want to think of himself as bisexual, but he told himself that it wasn't because he feared his father's disapproval. Zuko simply didn't believe that this little fling with Jet proved anything, because Jet was merely an exception that confirmed the general rule that Zuko liked girls. Besides, Jet was slightly androgynous and also a bit of a submissive man slut, so in some ways there wasn't that much of a difference between sleeping with Jet or a girl like Mai. Zuko was convinced that his logic about all of this was absolutely foolproof.
Fortunately, Zuko didn't have to entertain these confusing thoughts for much longer, because shortly after Jet arrived in the kitchen, carrying a brown paper bag and sporting a broad grin. "Mission accomplished," Jet declared, placing the paper bag on the kitchen counter in front of Zuko.
Zuko nodded, opening the paper bag and fishing out half of a lobster roll, with still visible bite marks. "Where's the rest of it?" Zuko narrowed his eyes at Jet.
"Come on, I was always going to have a bite after going through all this effort," Jet winked.
"You could have always gotten another roll for yourself," Zuko sulked. "Anyway, did you have trouble getting it? Did you use a disguise with fake nose, glasses and a moustache?"
"What? No, only a complete dork would use Groucho glasses," Jet laughed. "I found a couple of college kids who agreed to go and buy me a lobster roll in exchange for a joint."
"Smart thinking," Zuko nodded. "Alright, let's give this roll a taste," he said, biting into the slightly mangled looking lobster roll.
"Pretty good, isn't it?" Jet asked. "It's certainly a lot better than the crap I remember Sokka making with the canned lobster."
"I hate to agree with you, but this is a damn delicious lobster roll," Zuko was forced to reluctantly admit the unpleasant truth. "And the lobster is definitely fresh. Azula might not even be lying about it being the authentic Mo Ce Sea lobster. Damn, I was afraid of this," Zuko cursed. "The Northern Lights could become famous for this item, it's that good."
"That's not good," Jet frowned. "Why don't we come up with a lobster roll of our own, though? We could beat them at their own game."
"I mean… I'm sure I could make a better lobster roll than this, but I don't think I could match the price Azula has set for hers," Zuko sighed. "It's the cost of this location, really. We have higher rent, higher cost of utilities, higher labor expenses. It makes it impossible to compete with items that are designed for mass appeal."
"We could offer a better price if we could get some ingredients on the cheap, right?" Jet asked.
"Yes… what are you thinking about, exactly?" Zuko asked, feeling uncertain.
"Well, I know a guy who knows another guy, and that guy knows a guy whose father is a fisherman," Jet explained. "I could cut us a deal to get fresh lobster cheaply."
"Hmm, that sounds promising," Zuko perked up. "But it would have to be the Mo Ce Sea lobster, not the inferior lobster from the local archipelago. I really have to stress how important this detail is, Jet."
"Oh, I totally get you, Zuko," Jet flashed Zuko his best winning smile. "Local lobster, who even deals with that crap, am I right? I'm totally talking about authentic Mo Ce Sea lobster and nothing else."
"Great, I knew you'd understand," Zuko nodded, suddenly feeling very excited about this lobster roll idea. "Do you think you could go and have a chat with your guy? I want to implement this new item as soon as possible."
"Right you are, Zuko," Jet flashed him finger guns and a smile, literally moon walking out of the kitchen and leaving Zuko smiling softly about the antics of his boy-… no, friend with benefits.
Ever since Kiyi's birthday, Azula had been in a lousy mood, and not just because she had been instructed by the ER doctors to wear her novelty hockey goalie mask for a whole week. Azula had somehow endured wearing it for three days before tossing the stupid thing. She was sure that the hairline fracture of her cheekbone was healing perfectly fine without wearing the mask. Both the pain and the swelling had gone down significantly, and while chewing and talking in general was still a little uncomfortable, Azula preferred to suffer a little bit of pain than go back to wearing that ridiculous mask.
Knowing that she was partly responsible for ruining Kiyi's birthday didn't improve Azula's mood. She'd spent plenty of time texting and talking with Kiyi over the weekend, and while Kiyi insisted that they were cool, being forgiven so easily didn't sit right with Azula and she felt like a bigger gesture was necessary. For now, nothing had come to her mind, but Azula was determined to set things right.
At least things at the restaurant were looking up. Katara and Sokka were both over the moon about Azula reintroducing the lobster roll that many years ago, when Hakoda Enuaraq was running the restaurant, had been the pride of The Northern Lights and the talk of the town. This new menu item had been met with very enthusiastic response from their customers, but before Azula and her coworkers could crack open a few bottles of champagne and celebrate their success, Azula had spotted something very worrying on social media, which was also the reason why she had called an emergency employee meeting on Wednesday afternoon between the services.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news I must urgently share with all of you," Azula opened the meeting, concerned faces looking up at her. "Let me show you what I mean," Azula continued, fiddling with her phone which she had connected to the large flatscreen TV in Sokka and Ty Lee's upstairs love nest. The Twitter page of The Blue Spirit restaurant appeared on the TV screen, advertising a new item on the menu of Zuko's restaurant.
"Ugh, your brother is launching his own lobster roll?" Sokka groaned. "Such a dick move!"
"Well, it is Zuko," Azula shrugged. "He's only capable of making dick moves."
"Of course, he's undercutting us by a whole dollar," Katara sighed. "How is that even possible? Azula, I thought you said that we got a great deal on the lobster!"
"We do have a great deal on the lobster," Azula frowned. "I used my personal connections and called in a favor to get a discount from the wholesaler. It makes no sense that Zuko could compete with that price."
"Could he be price dumping?" Suki wondered. "Either to just spite us, or simply to generate traffic and lure customers away from us?"
"I don't believe so," Azula shook her head. "Price dumping is too risky and Zuko would be shooting himself in the foot. I don't think he can afford to go in the red over this. After all, my father will rate the overall profitability of our restaurants."
"So, how else can you explain it?" Yue asked. "Maybe Zuko also called in some favors to get a great price on the lobster."
"Maybe he's skimping on the lobster?" Aang suggested. "We cram those rolls very generously."
"That's how it's supposed to be!" Katara argued passionately. "We're supposed to give our customers good value for their money! If Zuko is cutting back on the lobster, then we should expose him for the fraud he is."
"I like the way you think, Kat," Azula smiled appreciatively. "I also decided that in order to understand just how Zuko can offer this crazy price, we must take a closer look at his lobster rolls. Which is why I have arranged for a delivery, and it should be here any moment now," she said, briefly checking her phone for any texts from Ty Lee. Her friend had texted about leaving The Blue Spirit some ten minutes ago, so she was due to arrive any moment now, unless she had become distracted by a shiny red ball or anything with glitter, triggering Ty Lee's magpie-like instincts.
Not long after, someone entered the restaurant while singing along to a merry tune. "Hey guys, I'm here!" Ty Lee shouted as she dashed up the stairs, arriving shortly. She was wearing her sexy Blue Spirit waitress uniform which apparently made a lot of annoying male customers asking if her melons were on the dessert menu. Still, Azula appreciated the outfit, especially when imagining Katara, Yue and Suki wearing it, and these thoughts made Azula briefly retreat to a very happy place.
"Bestie, here's your order," Ty Lee spoke cheerfully, tossing a brown paper bag at Azula. It hit Azula in the chest because she had been daydreaming, and she scrambled to recover quickly as if nothing had happened. In the meantime, Ty Lee went over to Sokka and gave him a sloppy wet kiss before settling right into his lap.
"Are you helping Azula with industrial spying, Ty Lee?" Katara asked curiously as she watched Azula retrieve a couple of lobster rolls from the bag.
"Huh?" Ty Lee blinked. "I don't think that's what I was doing. I mean, everyone is free to order food at the restaurant, that doesn't really count as spying. I meant it when I said that I was staying out of this silly competition between Azula and Zuko."
"I think that's perfectly fair," Sokka shrugged, accepting one of the rolls that Azula passed over to him. He quickly unwrapped it and took a bite, afterwards looking like he was about to cry. "It's so much better than ours," Sokka exclaimed dramatically. "Our lobster roll is doomed! Doomed!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Katara snorted, grabbing the roll from Sokka. "Everyone knows you have a horrible palate, Sokka. You're probably dead wrong about how good it is," she said, taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully. Katara then shrugged. "I mean, it's not bad. But I don't think it's any better than ours," she added, passing the leftover roll to Yue.
"Interesting," Azula frowned, unwrapping the other roll and taking a closer look at it. "The lobster looks… fine, I guess? Zuko's gone way heavier on mayo than we do, though. Still, the bun hasn't become soggy, so it seems to be working out," she mused, finally allowing herself to take a bite.
"What do you think, Azula?" Yue asked, looking very curious. She had just taken a bite from the roll Katara had given her. "I think it's very good, but I like ours a little better."
"Hmm, hard to say," Azula spoke thoughtfully, having finished chewing. "I hate to say it, but Zuko has really nailed the dressing," she grumbled. "I don't think he uses tabasco to add heat to the mayo. It's a subtler, more flavorful heat. But it's the lobster that I'm most curious about. It's definitely fresh, but it tastes a little odd? I can't figure it out, has he overcooked it?" Azula asked, passing the roll over to Suki, who quickly took a bite.
"Alright, I'm pretty sure your brother uses harissa for the sauce and not tabasco," Suki spoke, once she was done sampling the roll. "It's a smart choice. We could swap to using harissa as well." Azula nodded at that. "As for the lobster… I'm not sure. It's definitely not as soft as ours, right? It could be a bit stringier because it's overcooked, I suppose."
"I'm just struggling to believe that Zuko would make such an error after nailing everything else," Azula frowned. "Lobster is hard to overcook, really." She paused for a moment, a thought suddenly occurring to her. "Unless it's… no, it couldn't be," Azula shook her head dismissively.
"Come on, spit it out," Katara gave her an intense stare.
"It's a wild theory," Azula said. "I'm not sharing it until everyone has had a taste," she added, urging Suki to pass the roll on.
"It's lobster," Aang glared at Suki after she had given him the roll.
"Yes, and I'm giving it to you so that you can pass it on to Toph, dumbass," Suki snorted.
"Yeah, hand it over, dumbass," Toph snatched the lobster roll out of Aang's hands, leaving him blushing. Toph then eagerly took a large bite and started chewing very loudly and messily. "Oh, damn… that's some good dressing," she burped a moment later. "But isn't your slimy brother selling this as a genuine Mo Ce Sea lobster roll?" Toph asked.
"That's right," Azula replied, wondering if Toph was sharing the same suspicions she was having about Zuko's roll.
"Well, that's funny because this isn't Mo Ce Sea lobster," Toph replied confidently.
"Are you absolutely certain of that?" Azula asked, wanting to make sure.
"I'm certain," Toph shrugged. "I don't really care whether you believe me or not, though, so… whatever."
"You're so frustrating," Azula sighed. At least Toph shared her suspicions, so that was something. However, Toph was someone who consumed worrying amounts of junk food and wasn't really known for having an amazing palate, so Azula wasn't sure whether she could trust the blind girl's opinion without verifying it. "Anyway, I was wondering about the same possibility," Azula mused. "Because if Zuko is cheating with the ingredients, it would explain how he's able to set this impossibly low price."
"You wouldn't know anything about what kind of lobster Zuko is using?" Katara asked, looking at Ty Lee.
"Nope, Zuko and Jet keep everything about it under the wraps," Ty Lee replied. "But even if I knew what they were using, I wouldn't tell you because I'm staying neutral in this… sorry, sweetheart," she winked at Katara.
"I respect that," Katara smiled before turning to look at Azula. "So, what do you want to do next? Should we call out Zuko for cheating with a targeted social media campaign? Or do you think we need more proof for that?"
"We definitely need more proof," Azula nodded reluctantly.
"And how do you propose we obtain said proof?" Sokka asked.
"Well, I want to take a closer look at the lobster Zuko is using," Azula mused. "That means yet again breaking and entering into my brother's restaurant. Who's with me?"
"Uh, I'll have to take a raincheck on this one," Sokka snorted. "I'm not about to break into my girlfriend's workplace."
"Aww, you're so sweet, honey bear," Ty Lee gushed, giving her boyfriend a bone-crushing hug. "Obviously, I'm not breaking into my own workplace, either."
"I wasn't really asking you to begin with, Ty Lee," Azula rolled her eyes.
"Oh, whatever, you wish you had my acrobatic skills at your disposal," Ty Lee smirked. She then glared at Azula. "And no using a copy of my keys to enter the restaurant this time! It wasn't very nice of you to do that. I've been keeping a very close eye on my new keys since then, so good luck repeating that trick."
"You're so smart for being cautious, Ty Lee. I will surely never be able to trick you like that again," Azula replied, barely managing to keep a straight face. She had already made a copy of Ty Lee's keys some two weeks ago. All it had taken was to sneak back into the restaurant in the middle of the night, fish the keys out of the back pocket of Ty Lee's jeans and then make an impression of the keys, just like she had done before. And sure, Azula had suffered some mental damage because she had become the unwilling witness to Ty Lee and Sokka having sex, but compared to all the emotional scars she carried already, this was hardly a scratch.
"Breaking in last time was so much fun," Yue smiled fondly. "I'd love to join, but I promised to watch a movie with Kya. And Suki was going to join us, but I would completely understand if you'd rather go with Azula's heist."
"What are you talking about, I'm not going to miss our movie night," Suki frowned. "I haven't seen Princess Bride since high school, and I also want to see how Kya reacts to it."
Yue grinned broadly. "Yes, that should be fun," she nodded. "I'm still a little worried that she's too young for it, but then again, I first saw it when I was four, and she's a brighter kid than I was at her age."
"How, uh… how is Kya doing?" Azula dared to ask, wincing inwardly as the painful memories resurfaced instantly.
"She's doing much better," Yue smiled softly. "Suki enticed her to pick up Pai Sho again. Even though she probably regrets it after being defeated," Yue giggled. Suki let out a long-suffering sigh. "I think it should be alright for you to visit again, Azula. In fact, you probably should, if you were serious about wanting to be a part of Kya's life."
Azula gulped audibly at the idea of facing Kya again, merely out of fear of saying or doing something that would yet again upset and break the heart of that precious little girl. "Give me another week… or two," Azula said nervously. "I don't think I'm quite ready for a visit just yet," she admitted. Yue appeared understanding about Azula's reluctance. Also, Azula wondered if she was just imagining things, but for some reason following this exchange with Yue, both Katara and Suki were giving her some uncomfortably tense stares.
"Hey, are we having an awkward moment here? The blind girl can't tell," Toph laughed after nobody had said anything for a while. "Anyway, you probably wouldn't have much use for me on a stealth mission, so needless to say, I'll pass. But maybe Twinkletoes will join you. He's probably thirsting for an adventure."
"Well, I would, but… we would be breaking the law, and I'm not comfortable with that," Aang sighed. "Also, I have a date with a hot parrot, so I'm going to be busy anyway."
"Oh, did you finally strike gold in the limited furry dating pool?" Sokka laughed, offering Aang a fist bump. "Nice!" he grinned.
"I wish," Aang sighed. "By hot parrot I just meant my own fur suit."
The explanation made Sokka groan, while everyone else just burst into laughter. "You're such a loser, buddy," Sokka sighed.
"What are you talking about, he's adorable," Suki laughed, giving an affectionate rub to the top of Aang's bald head. "Besides, everybody loves a loser."
"Oh, it's just like that song!" Yue said, breaking into a song, with Suki quickly joining her. "I think you'll find, everybody loves a loser. So, you'll be fine, you won't be lonely long," the pair sang together, their voices complementing each other very nicely in Azula's opinion.
"Great, that makes me feel so much better about myself," Aang sighed.
"Were we supposed to make you feel better?" Azula smirked, finally turning towards Katara as their eyes met. "Once again, it seems like you're my only hope, Kat."
"As if you even had to ask," Katara grinned. "I love our wild adventures, obviously. I will play the role of your shotgun riding bestie for yet another ill-considered escapade."
"Ill-considered? You wound me, Katara," Azula said, trying not to show just how delighted she was to have Katara alone with her on this upcoming adventure. "If you would follow me, I will explain to you the glorious complexity of my scheme that will leave you dazzled and astounded," Azula spoke, rising from the sofa and offering her hand to Katara.
"Alright… I guess I'm off to be dazzled and astounded," Katara laughed as she rose and took Azula's hand, leaving to hatch a dastardly plot that was sure to bring Zuko's restaurant down to its knees.
Sitting in the passenger seat of Azula's car as it sped through the nightly Caldera City, Katara was brimming with joy and excitement, very much looking forward to going on another wild caper with Azula.
Over the past week or so, Katara had been in a rather downcast mood. She was trying her best to be understanding about Azula and Yue's failed attempt at a relationship, but patience had never been one of Katara's greatest virtues and it was just so damned hard to put a pause on her attempts to pursue something more with Azula. It didn't help that she could tell how Azula was very much open to some casual fun, but she deliberately held herself back out of respect for Yue. Also, Katara was still panicking about the exchange between Azula and Yue earlier in the day, which had reawakened Katara's fears that Azula might still reconsider about wanting to be with Yue.
So, it came as a great relief to see Azula so excited for this upcoming adventure, and seemingly very happy about doing it only with Katara. Butterflies were still fluttering around in Katara's stomach after Azula had told her that she was Azula's favorite partner in crime, and how fondly she recalled their weird drunken bowling alley adventure. And now, here they were, having changed into clothes that were clearly a part of Azula's clever disguise, consisting of dark grey trench coats and matching fedoras, making them appear like some secret service agents from old timey movies.
Azula parked her car at the side of the street a short walk away from The Blue Spirit restaurant and then they were on their way, eventually slipping into an alley that led up to the back entrance of the restaurant. Once they had reached the back doors into The Blue Spirit, Azula paused and retrieved something from the pocket of her coat, passing it over to a very curious Katara. "There," Azula spoke solemnly. "The last and most crucial part of your disguise."
Katara looked at the item she had been given and blinked in surprise when she saw a pair of dark rimmed glasses. A comically large plastic nose was attached to it, together with fake moustache and bushy eyebrows. "Groucho glasses?" Katara asked.
"Yes," Azula nodded, looking dead serious. "They're a perfect fit with the trench coats and fedoras."
"I suppose," Katara said, as they put on their silly disguises. "I think they would have been an even better fit if we had dressed up like a pair of fat plumbers."
"I considered that, but at the end of the day, I just wouldn't have been able to force myself to wear a fat suit," Azula shrugged, looking at Katara.
Katara burst into giggles at Azula's appearance. "You know, these disguises are going to make it really hard for me to remain serious and focused on the break in," Katara remarked.
"I don't know what you mean, there's nothing funny about them," Azula said stiffly, facing Katara and eventually bursting into laughter herself. She quickly cut herself short, though, appearing slightly embarrassed. "Anyway, let's try and be professional about this," Azula sighed.
"Alright, professional infiltrators, that's us," Katara nodded proudly. "So, how are we getting in this time?"
"Same as before," Azula said, withdrawing a set of keys. "Getting a copy of Ty Lee's keys is way easier than stealing candy from a toddler."
"You're not worried that she'll be mad about it?" Katara winced, watching as Azula quickly unlocked the doors.
"Not particularly," Azula shrugged. "Ty Lee might be mad for a few minutes before something will distract her and she'll forget why she was supposed to be angry in the first place."
"Come on, she's not that ditzy," Katara argued, following Azula into the dark restaurant.
"Oh, she really is, but that doesn't change the fact that she's one of my closest and dearest friends," Azula said, waiting for Katara to enter and close the doors behind her. Azula then retrieved her phone and switched on the flashlight. Katara decided not to bother with her own phone, because it gave her the excuse to stick very close to Azula, the pair constantly bumping into one another.
"That's actually rather sweet," Katara smiled as they slowly made their way down the narrow hallway. "Anyway, where should we start our search?"
"The walk-in freezer," Azula replied. "At the end of the day, all the unused lobster would have been brought back there, so we should be able to find plenty of evidence. Stay close, I know the way."
Katara obviously decided to use the opportunity to stay even closer to Azula, at least until she suddenly thought of something that made her freeze. "I just thought of something," Katara gasped. "What if that demonic cat is still prowling around the restaurant?"
"Oh, don't worry about Killer, apparently he's back with his owner," Azula chuckled. "I made sure to interrogate Ty Lee about that. You're not the only one who was freaked out by that feline abomination. Anyway, we're almost at the walk-in, it's just through these doors," Azula said, leading Katara the rest of the way to the freezer.
"This brings back some ancient memories of my dad storing lobster in our old walk-in," Katara recalled fondly.
Azula paused for a moment, giving Katara a curious stare. "Just out of interest, do you remember if your father had a special method for storing them?"
"Well, before we got the lobster tank, he would wrap every live lobster in a moist paper towel and put them in the coldest parts of the fridge," Katara replied, having to think back as far as her early teen years. "That way they kept for a couple of days."
"Smart man," Azula smiled. "Let's see if Zuko knows anything at all about handling live lobster," she said, opening one of the fridges. Azula didn't get to investigate it, however, as at that moment the lights outside of the walk-in came on, startling the two girls.
"Would you look at that, a pair of thieves in my restaurant," came the drawling voice of a tall girl with an elaborate oxhorn hairstyle and an expression on her face that somehow managed to be both amused and bored at the same time. "I have to give it to you, Azula, you have really exceeded my expectations for the ridiculousness of your disguises," Mai smirked.
"Who is this Azula you speak of?" Azula tried throwing her voice, with Katara barely managing to avoid bursting into laughter. "I don't know of any Azula, but in want to hear more about her because she sounds like a completely amazing person that could do no wrong," Azula added modestly.
"It's not going to work," Mai snorted. "Seriously, Groucho glasses? Just how high or drunk were you when you came up with that idea?"
"Damn you, disguise vendor, you have advised me poorly for the last time!" Azula cried dramatically.
"Alright, are you done with the drama?" Mai glared.
"I'm done, yes," Azula agreed obediently, removing the Groucho glasses while looking a little embarrassed.
Katara did the same, offering a shy smile to Mai. "Evening, Mai," Katara said.
"Good evening, Katara," Mai replied politely.
"This is no time for pleasantries, we're here on a mission," Azula reminded them both. "There's two of us against one of her," she said, looking at Katara. "Even though Mai probably has like a dozen knives, we can still take her, so let's do this!"
"Right you are," Katara nodded, taking a few steps towards the still relaxed looking Mai. Then Katara froze, Azula's words finally registering fully. "Wait… knives?" she gasped. "She has a dozen knives on her?"
"I would say that's quite accurate," Mai nodded. She gave Azula an amused stare. "It's amazing how you can get bitches to literally do almost anything for you without thinking. Like, she was actually ready to jump me," Mai glanced at the blushing Katara. "I honestly know of no other person who has the kind of accidental rizz as you do, Azula."
"What do you mean, accidental?" Azula huffed.
"Never mind," Mai rolled her eyes. "Anyway, let me guess, you're here to investigate the lobster supply."
"That's right," Katara admitted, ignoring Azula's warning stare. It seemed as if Mai already knew everything about their plan, so while Azula still wanted to claim ignorance, Katara figured that it was best to play it straight with Mai. "How did you find out?" Katara asked.
"Do you really need to ask?" Mai smirked. "Azula, I never thought you would make such a critical mistake like discussing your plans for breaking and entering in the presence of Ty Lee."
"That little traitor," Azula hissed. "I knew she was more loyal to you than she is to me."
"Whoa, that's absolutely untrue. You're such a dumbass!" Mai snapped. "Ty Lee is actually completely earnest about her neutrality. But at the same time, you know that she can't keep a secret. She let a few words slip, and then it was easy for me to coax the entirety of your plan from her."
"Well… I suppose that was a tactical own goal, yes," Azula admitted reluctantly. "So, how do we resolve this? And I must warn you in advance, you're not taking me or Katara alive."
"Umm," Katara blinked, giving Azula a wide-eyed stare. "How about we deescalate instead of doing the opposite?" she proposed nervously.
"Yes, listen to your girlfriend, Azula," Mai smirked. "If you would just hear me out, you would realize that I'm not actually here to ruin your plans."
"Wait… you're not?" Azula exclaimed. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, but Katara couldn't focus on Azula's words, but rather on how Azula had completely failed to deny Mai's assertion that Katara was her girlfriend. Katara felt an unstoppable silly grin spreading on her face as her heart kept skipping and leaping with joy within her chest.
"It shouldn't be too hard for you to figure it out," Mai replied, looking at Azula. "If there's something fishy going on with the lobster rolls, then it's a scheme that's been cooked up solely by Zuko and Jet."
"And you have a vested interest in seeing a scheme with Jet's participation crash and burn," Azula smiled, nodding at Mai's words.
"But exposing this scheme could hurt your restaurant," Katara said, realizing what the other two were talking about. "Would you still do that only to bring down Jet?"
"Absolutely," Mai shrugged. "I am not in the difficult situation where I'm relying on the restaurant for my survival. I was interested in it mostly because I wanted to run it together with my boyfriend. I thought it was something that we could bond over with. But since it seems that Zuko would rather run the restaurant with Jet… you're damn right I'm eager to bring them down, so let's take a closer look at those lobsters, shall we?"
"Right you are," Azula said, giving Mai a look full of gratitude and understanding. Azula then dove into the freezer, retrieving a tray with several carefully wrapped lobsters. Azula grabbed one of the lobsters and began to unwrap it, with Katara coming over to help with another.
"Well, I don't know much about seafood, but even I can see that this is a lobster," Mai shrugged. "I guess there's no cheating going on after all," she sighed.
"Wait a moment," Katara spoke up. She didn't involve herself in the restaurant kitchen that much these days, mostly because it was ticking along beautifully without her interference, but even she could see that these lobsters were a little different from the ones that Suki was mass slaughtering in the kitchen of The Northern Lights. "These lobsters look a little off compared to ours."
"Very good eye, Katara," Azula grinned victoriously. "They look different from ours because these aren't authentic Mo Ce Sea lobsters. These just look weird, like they're from some kind of an illegal lobster farm."
"That's how Zuko can set such a competitive price," Katara snapped her fingers. "He must be getting these lobsters on the cheap."
"Exactly," Azula nodded. She grabbed her phone and snapped several photos of the illegal lobsters. "Zuko's lobster roll scheme will be dead in the water once I unleash a targeted social media campaign on his ass."
"That sounds good," Katara smiled. She wasn't exactly happy about contributing to the worsening relationship between Azula and her brother, but she had her restaurant to think about first and foremost. "And thank you for being a good sport about the break-in, Mai," Katara told the other girl.
"Well, if this will be as bad for Zuko as Azula thinks, then he'll probably be mad at Jet," Mai said, looking pleased. "So, it seems as if we are all getting what we wanted."
"I suppose that's one way to look at it," Katara agreed. She then looked at Azula. "Do we have all the evidence we need?" she asked.
"Oh, absolutely," Azula nodded. "I think we can be on our way." She then turned to face Mai. "We're still on for our weekly thing with Ty Lee, right?" she asked, slightly awkwardly. Mai sighed, giving Azula a bored nod. "Alright, then I'll see you on Friday."
"See you," Mai replied. "And feel free to bring your girlfriend along," she winked.
"It's kind of our thing, though," Azula shook her head. "I'm sure Katara understands."
"I completely understand," Katara nodded quickly. She was feeling absolutely ecstatic from Azula once again not protesting Mai referring to Katara as her girlfriend. "Someone needs to keep an eye on the restaurant, after all."
"Exactly," Azula smiled. "Anyway, let's go, Katara," she said, taking Katara's hand and releasing it only once they were outside the restaurant, in the dark back alley.
"That went well, even if not quite according to the plan," Katara said, smiling at Azula as they walked back to the car. "I'm sorry about the disguises not working out. I still had fun wearing the silly glasses, though."
Azula chuckled softly. "It's alright," she replied. "The disguises were never meant to fool Mai, or anyone else who knows me well. They might have been helpful while we were making our getaway, but given the way things went down, there's no real reason to use them now."
"True," Katara nodded. "We make a pretty good team, though, don't we?" she asked, grinning.
"The best," Azula agreed. "And I'm glad you had fun," Azula said, looking like she wanted to say more, but it took her a while to eventually continue. "Also, the fun doesn't have to stop. As I told Mai, my plan is to make targeted social media posts to attack Zuko and then use an army of Twitter bots to amplify the message. But if you were to help me, it would go twice as fast, and we could also crack open a couple of wine bottles and share some devil's lettuce."
"That sounds great," Katara agreed happily. As difficult as it was to keep herself in check with Azula, it seemed as if her strategy of letting Azula initiate things was starting to bear fruit. "I am in no hurry to see the night end," Katara said. "So, you may take me home with you, darling," she added in a sultrier voice that made Azula's cheeks redden. When Azula didn't say anything, Katara reached out and took Azula's hand in hers. The way their fingers interlaced so naturally, gave Katara a surge of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, she could succeed where Yue had failed at winning Azula over.
Zuko yawned as he put down the controller of his PlayStation 5 console. "I think I've squished my last bug of the evening," he said, looking over at Jet who was still spraying hordes of bugs from his portable plasma cannon.
"Give me a moment and we can do something else," Jet said hurriedly, trying to focus on completing the mission. Zuko had a pretty good idea of what Jet meant by something else, but it also reminded Zuko that he had been sitting down in a fixed position for almost three hours, and he was also about to burst and pee his pants.
"Sure," Zuko spoke before quickly making his way to the toilet to repair his bladder. Zuko was still washing his hands at the sink as the phone in the back pocket of his pants buzzed. Remembering that he had missed a lot of notifications while playing Helldivers 2, Zuko decided to finally check why his social media were blowing up at this time of night. He pulled out his phone and opened Twitter, blinking when he saw strange activity on the usually very quiet account used by The Blue Spirit restaurant. Zuko's stomach sank when he opened one of the posts, realizing that it featured a photo of very familiar lobsters. The sinking feeling turned into smoldering rage, however, when Zuko read the caption under the photo.
"Jet!" Zuko roared, charging out of the toilet. "We need to talk!" he shouted, making his way back into the living room of Jet's apartment, where a startled looking Jet rose to face him. "Have you seen the restaurant's Twitter? It's blowing up because of the lobster!" Zuko yelled.
"That's a good thing, right?" Jet shrugged. "We want positive word of mouth."
"The word of mouth is not positive, you fool!" Zuko seethed. "Someone is accusing us of using inferior lobster instead of genuine Mo Ce Sea lobster! They're calling me a cheat!"
Jet froze for a moment before responding with nervous laughter. "Zuko, buddy, that lobster is the genuine thing," he spoke, regaining his confidence quickly, but Zuko was already too suspicious to fall for it. "Remember what I told you about why they look a little off?"
"Oh, sure," Zuko rolled his eyes. "You said that they have shrunk in size and slightly changed shape and color because of all the negative aspects of the climate change, impacting the natural habitat of the Mo Ce Sea lobster."
"Yeah, exactly!" Jet nodded. "It's sad that more people aren't aware of this."
"Maybe they're not aware because it's complete bullshit?" Zuko snarled, scrolling to a photo on his Twitter and showing it to Jet. "There, a side-by-side comparison between a freshly caught Mo Ce Sea lobster, and the mutated abomination supplied by you!"
Jet gulped audibly. "Damn… but it's really not my fault! I didn't know what a real Mo Ce Sea lobster looked like, so I had no idea they were selling me a bullshit story!" Jet exclaimed dramatically. "And at the end of the day, aren't we both to blame for letting ourselves be deceived so cruelly?"
"We're both to blame?!" Zuko yelled, enraged. "You tried to take me for a ride, and I should seriously kick your ass right now!"
"But you're not going to do that, right? I mean, we're best buddies, and a little more than that," Jet shot him a crooked grin, expecting it to work, but instead it just made Zuko see nothing but red.
"Yeah, that's why it hurts so much!" Zuko shouted, throwing a punch that connected solidly with Jet's jaw. Jet instantly became completely limp and went down in an unmoving heap. "Jet?" Zuko asked, a little worriedly, after Jet hadn't moved for a good while. "Jet… you… you alright there, buddy?"
Azula stirred herself awake at the unwelcome sound of her phone ringing insistently. Azula's head was very fuzzy as a result of heavy consumption of alcohol and marijuana over the past couple of hours, and it took her a while to gather her bearings. She was very relieved that throughout this difficult process, her phone finally stopped ringing. Nobody had any right to disturb her at 4am in the morning.
It took Azula some time to realize that she was back in her apartment, lying down on her bed while still fully clothed. When she turned to her side to notice Katara splayed out on her bed, passed out and looking painfully beautiful in such a vulnerable moment, Azula instantly remembered everything that had happened during the past couple of hours. It had been a blast to create angry customer posts directed at the account of Zuko's restaurant and then unleash a swarm of bots to spam these posts with likes. It seemed as if Katara had really enjoyed this wild evening, and that meant everything to Azula.
Azula's phone suddenly rang again, which annoyingly distracted her from watching Katara sleep. Azula picked up the phone, blinking when she saw who was calling her. "Zuko?" Azula answered the call. "The fuck you are doing, calling me at this hour?"
"Shut up, Azula, this is really important," Zuko spoke, sounding very nervous for some reason. "Listen, I know we don't have a good relationship, but something terrible just happened and… and I need your help, okay? It's something that we need to keep in the family. I figured that even if you hate me, you wouldn't want your brother to end up in a prison." Azula's weed deranged mind made her burst into laughter at this ridiculous comment.
"I'm not joking, dumbass!" Zuko burst out, sounding panicked and possibly close to tears. It made Azula sober up slightly. "I need your help! And if you're not going to help me because we're siblings, then you still owe me a favor over the whole Chan thing. I'm calling it in."
"Okay, calm down, I'll help," Azula uttered quickly. "You need to tell me what you need help with, though."
"I need you to get over here stat," Zuko said, his next words shocking Azula to her core. "I… I think I just killed Jet."