The kid Is All Right Another politics episode. Yawn! Lisa befriends a new girl called Isabel but she's a Republican. Also the opening short gives Oscar some zany ideas...
Plot
The Land of Springfield is a magical, musical land where the town and all of its citizens are musical instruments, who all happily play all kinds of music.
Of course this gives Oscar some very insane ideas... Oz no! Not this animated short! Please!
Oscar laughing as he decides his instrument form...
Bart and Lisa go about the magical, musical land where the town's people are musical instruments. The Simpsons (with Homer as a tuba, Marge as a trombone, Bart as a trumpet, Lisa as a saxophone, and Maggie as a French horn) are driving home in their car (depicted as a grand piano). When they stop for a moment at a music note shaped traffic light, Lisa jumps out and sees a sign telling about a jazz festival. When she sees the fun that's going on in the distance, she gets excited and heads to it, but then Mr. Burns (as a bassoon) and Smithers (as an oboe) appear, and when Burns sees the sign for the jazz festival and then Lisa happily heading towards it, he gets cross and has Smithers put up a sign reading "Classical Music ONLY!"
We pan across Musicville. As you know all the Simpsons are brass instruments. Tubas, trombones, trumpets etc.
The teachers are all String instruments. Mostly Cellos and violins.
Wiggum and Ralph are drums. Amusingly Ralph's head is not attached to him in drum form and he can bounce it up and down on him.
Bart is dropped off at school where he encounters Milhouse as a French horn. Then Oscar um... Oh god no!
Oscar decided in instrument form, in Musicville he is a blue piano like uh Oscar from Oscar's orchestra...
Bart face palms.
Lisa is then seen happily walking (and playing herself) along up the street, passing Apu (as a sitar), Moe (as a cello) and Barney (as a tuba) along the way, but then Burns and Smithers appear behind her and they release his hounds (as xylophones) after Lisa. Lisa runs for her life and then turns into an alleyway, but is cornered and trapped by the hounds and Mr. Burns then captured. She and the rest of her family are taken to the Nuclear Plant (with it's two large chimneys depicted as two large organ pipes), where they are bound to the wall with chains and guarded by Eddie and Lou (as cellos). Mr. Burns had also brought everyone else in Springfield there as well, then he steps up onto a podium and conducts everyone to start playing, forcing them all to play classical music in a symphony. Basically he's Thaddeus Vent...
"Author you are not helping..." said Trumpet Bart annoyed.
Lisa, upset and angry at how Burns will not allow any other kind of music and how he is forcing everyone to unhappily play only classical, (Which strangely Sideshow Bob with bells on his dreadlocks is unhappy about...) decides to take a stand and starts to play jazz music, which makes her chains release from her. Bart starts to play as well, which also breaks his bonds, and plays along with Liza. Then the rest of the Simpson family start to play and break themselves free as well, then everybody else in the symphony begins to happily play jazz along with them. Milhouse blows himself or plays himself and something uh gross comes out his spit valve. Matt what is wrong with you?! He's a kid!
Cousin Hank seethed.
Mr. Burns is extremely cross at how everyone is playing jazz instead of classical music, but everyone soon starts to gang up on him, then his Nuclear Plant explodes and Burns is sent flying towards Metalville, where Nelson Muntz, Dolph Starbeam, Kearney Zzyzwicz, and Jimbo Jones (all as electric guitars) gang up on him and start to play a brief rock version of the Simpsons Theme, much to Burns' dismay.
After Burns is defeated, Lisa puts a sign that reads "All Music Welcome" over the one Burns had put up, and she, her whole family, and everyone else in Springfield, head to the jazz festival where they happily play jazz techno, country hillbilly, rock (which Burns is now bound in chains himself and forced to listen to), and old folks' music, and then finally they end playing a jazz version of the Simpsons Theme.
...
The actual episode.
(bell ringing, kids cheering)
Lisa is singing One is the loneliest number and is miserable again...
Oscar rolls his eyes.
"Oh for crying out loud..." Teddy face palmed, Little Miss Gloomypants is bringing us all down again..."
A dog ate Ralph's ice cream. Why he has an ice cream at school I don't know...
"Ralph, I wouldn't lick that ice cream after that mutt licked it.,." Bart grimaced in disgust.
Willie is making out with a lady scarecrow.
Oscar winced.
Lisa passes under a teeter totter/See saw with kids riding it and through the swings as Nelson and Kearney yard riding them. She gets through unharmed but still singing depressed.
(grunts) Milhouse tried to follow her as he ran after her in love but Nelson kicked him flying.
"Haw haw!"
Oscar wrote with a marker on a sign. It read "Smile! The world isn't that glum..."
Teddy, his living teddy bear creature smiled a big happy smile showing his buck teeth.
Lisa sighed.
"Yeah cheer up Lis... depressed about the planet again..." Bart remarked in a dry tone.
Lisa sings One is the Loneliest Number in a melancholic tone.
"Melon collie?" Teddy was thinking about the melon collie...
"You know, I really think I've made my point." said Lisa.
"Good now cheer up..." said Oscar.
"Oz, I have a reason to be unhappy..." Lisa sighed.
"No you don't..." Oscar said sharply under his breath.
Lisa started to sing depressing songs about loneliness again.
Oscar quickly drowned her out by singing Smile by Nat King Cole loudly.
Lisa frowned at him. She walks off simmering.
"At last..." Bart sighed.
(thunder crashes)
Willie's equipment shed was destroyed by lightning.
"Oh, the rain has washed away the playground shed!" He lamented.
"I'm being chased by sports!" Mr Largo yelled as balls and sports equipment rolled after him.
"It's called "precipitation," 'cause it never fails to precipitate unruly behavior." said Skinner in his office.
Miss Hoover and a Male teacher were pouring rain water from a gutter into Skinner's car. Um... okay...
(thunder crashes)
"Chocolate Thun-da!" Oscar yelled.
Teddy face palmed.
Everyone heads inside to get out of the rain.
"And saddest of all, those who do not have a friend to play with in the rain, doomed to get only single pneumonia." said Skinner as Lisa was the last kid to come in from the rain. All alone.
Lisa walked the corridors alone when someone spat a spit wad at her.
"A spit wad? Well, at least I'm getting some attention." said Lisa.
"And the best part is I'm bombarding her with her own homework." said Bart laughing as he tore bits off of her homework he somehow got ahold of and chewed up the bits and spat them out through his peashooter. (laughs)
Lisa noticing a bombardment of spit wads hitting her and fled down the corridor.
Bart followed her jumping from the lights he was perched on. He jumped from light to light, passing a sack of Letters to Santa and a sack of presents from Santa.
Lisa fled into the library.
(sighs) She sighed with relief but Bart was smooshed up at the door making demented faces. (screams) Lisa screamed.
(Bart jabbering.) Bart making weird faces and noises. I have no idea why...
"Begone!" Lisa pointed a book, Little Women, at him.
(hisses) He hissed like a vampire and fled.
(chuckles) Lisa chuckled. "Well, you're never alone surrounded by... The Autobiography of Charles Manson?!" (screams) She screamed because she picked up a book about Charles Manson, by Charles Manson because it was his autobiography! Well he's a deranged murderer you see.
...
Lisa found herself in the fantasy section she didn't notice Macaulay Caukin from The Pagemaster in the background talking to Fantasy, Adventure and Horror.
"You guys are the only friends I've ever had.' said his character from The Pagemaster.
That's just sad...
Lisa sighed.
"Now to enjoy a good-Yeeeow!" Lisa sighed calmly but Hugo jabbed her with his sewing needle. "Hugo!"
Hugo laughed.
"Nngh! Not even the library is a sanctuary from you!" Lisa ranted.
"Nope!" said Hugo in the Adventure books section. He took out a copy of Gulliver's Travels, made an interested mumble and sat down to read.
Lisa sighed and passed a section on books a out ponies and picked up a book about ponies she seemed interested in. "Hmmmmmmm..." A girl was on the other side of the shelf.
"Huh?" said Lisa.
"Hi. New kid, second grade." said the Hispanic girl. "Don't you love the rain?"
"No I melt in the rain and um die." said Ace.
Oscar laughed.
(gasps) "New kid? Uh, have you made any friends?" Lisa asked.
"Just Charlotte, Emily and Anne." said the Hispanic girl.
(gasps) "That's a reference to the Bronte sisters!" said Lisa.
(gasps) "You got my reference to the Bronte sisters?!" The girl gasped. "Nice to meet you, Lisa Simpson."
"How do you know my name?" Lisa gasped.
"I deciphered the anagrams on your notebook." said the girl. There were anagrams on Lisa's book. They are: "Alps Mission, pails in moss. Plain miss, so?"
"Oh. Be Lisa? (gasps) Isabel!" Lisa guessed the girl was called Isabel
(both giggle) They both giggled.
Bart hacked into the library computers so they broadcast a live web video of him being silly making faces and mooning.
"Um... That's my brother..." Lisa winced embarrassed by Bart's antics.
Isabel chewed her lip embarrassed to be seeing Bart on all the library computers pulling faces.
"I'm her other brother..." said Hugo.
...
At home in the kitchen.
Maggie made a sculpture of Gerald out of play doh and smashed it with a hammer.
(Eric jabbering and gurgling) His subtitles read, "So, this Hoju is picking on you now..."
Maggie sucked her pacifier. Her subtitles read "Yes Eric..."
"Oooooooh! Spaghetti!" said Homer finding spaghetti in the fridge.
"No Homer! That's Hugo's spaghetti!" said Marge.
Homer groaned.
The kitchen phone rang. Homer answered it.
"Y'ello!" said Homer. "Lisa, you got a call from someone named lsabel."
(gasps) Lisa gasped happily and got up but Homer was asking Isabel annoying questions.
"May I ask what this is regarding? Ooh! A budding new friendship? Oh!" said Homer as Lisa danced about eagerly waiting and doing gimme gimme! Gestures. Homer gave her the phone.
"Boy, how come you can't get a new friend?" asked Homer sharply.
"What's wrong with the one I got?" Bart asked.
Milhouse came in. "I finally got that M&M out of my inner ear. I remembered correctly; it was a green one!" said Milhouse he had a green M&M on a Q Tip.
"Don't eat it. It's been in his ear. Don't eat 's been in his ear." said Homer's brain as Homer stared at the M&M.
The dog ate it. But he actually kept it on his tongue to taunt Homer.
"Don't eat it. It's been in the boy's ear and the dog's mouth. Don't eat it." said Homer's Brain.
Homer had the M&M on his tongue about to eat it...
"Oh, for God's sake!" Marge sighed taking the M&M and stuffing it back in Milhouse's ear.
"And don't you hate being the middle child?" Lisa asked. She was in her room on her Myphone she suddenly had...
"Yeah. In the car, I always have to sit on the hump. It makes reading impossible." said Isabel.
,Lisa, your food's getting cold!" Marge called.
"It's raw veggies. They're supposed to be cold!" said Lisa. Some are cooked!
"Well, someone who loves you put melted butter on them! Thank you, Mr. Bergstrom. I'll tell Lisa you dropped by." said Marge calling up to Lisa. Mr Bergstrom returned from his train ride out of Springfield! It's a miracle!
"I better go." Lisa sighed.
"Okay, but one more thing: I noticed we're both doing presentations on Franklin Roosevelt at school. Why don't we do them together?" Isabel asked.
(quietly): "Oh, my God. Someone wants to be my partner." Lisa gasped. "Can't screw this up. Uh I mean sure!"
"Downloading, downloading, downloading, downloading, downloading..." Isabel emailed something to Lisa or downloaded something from her.
(computer chimes, electronic fanfare plays) Lisa was on her computer dancing...
"Whoo-hoo!" Isabel cheered.
...
At school in assembly. Lisa and Isabel are on stage talking about Franklin D Roosevelt.
(clears throat) "Franklin Roosevelt bravely instituted a series of reforms called the New Deal." said Lisa.
"Which ran totally counter to America's tradition of limited government. P.S. It was also unconstitutional." said Isabel.
Lisa gasped, astonished Isabel was clashing with her by countering each point.
"Oh? Um, FDR's steadfast leadership also helped America win World War Two." said Lisa.
"By ruthlessly murdering millions by dropping a weapon of mass destruction on Japan..." said Isabel. "And until the weak-kneed Democrats sold us out at Yalta." Lisa looked forlorn. "If you haven't guessed, Lisa, I'm a Republican."
Lisa gasped.
"A Lincoln Republican?" She asked.
"Not really." said Isabel.
"A Reagan Republican?" Lisa asked.
"Keep going." said Isabel.
"First President Bush?" Lisa asked worried.
"Getting there." said Isabel.
"Oh no! Not Second President Bush..." Lisa whined.
"Almost..." said Isabel.
"Oh, dear God." Lisa gasped.
(chuckles) Skinner laughed. "I must say, Lisa, it was amusing to see you thoroughly de-high-horsed."
"That isn't a word." Lisa muttered annoyed as she left the stage.
"Ooh, back on the saddle she climbs." said Skinner.
"Enough of the horse analogies, Sir! Yeah I like horses!" said Lisa annoyed.
Later as they packed up.
"I just can't believe someone like you would be a Republican. I mean, isn't your last name Gutiérrez?" Lisa whined to Isabel.
"Just what exactly are you saying?" Isabel said frowning at Lisa.
"I'm just saying that people of your heritage- which could be any one of many heritages, I'm not pigeonholing..." Lisa stammered. Isabel glared at her. "Is it a Catholic thing?"
"I'm a non-observant Jew from Argentina." said Isabel.
"Oh! Oh! Will you go out with me?" Jurkle, the extremely Jewish kid asked.
"No..." said Isabel.
"Aw nuts..." said Jurkle.
When he heard Isabel was Jewish, this was Bart's response. "Ay, caramba!"
"Do you even know what that means?" Isabel asked.
"Uh, there-there's a caramba in my eye?" Bart asked.
"It's the Spanish version of "hot damn."" Isabel explained, annoyed.
"Ay, caramba!" Bart yelled.
...
In her room. Lisa reads her books miserable.
"Hmm?" asked Marge. "Lisa, is everything okay?"
"Yes. Why?" Lisa sighed annoyed.
"Because you're doing your homework and you don't look happy." said Marge.
(groans) "My new best friend isn't what I thought. She's a... Republican!" said Lisa unhappy.
(laughs) Marge laughed.
"What is so funny? They're destroying the world!" said Lisa.
"No they're not..." said Oscar glaring at her.
"How do you know?! BP just dumped a tanker of crude oil in the ocean! Mr Burns is poisoning our air!" Lisa whined.
"Lis, Mr Burns is poisoning us with radiation because his an evil monster! Not because he's Republican. I'm conservative and I hate his guts..."
"They are, huh?" said Marge smugly.
Plot 2
Marge and Lisa are in the attic looking through stuff.
"I thought I'd show you this when you were older, but..." said Marge getting out a photo album.
(gasps) You voted for Reagan?!" Lisa asked gasping.
"It was a crazy time, the '80s." said Marge. They were crazy times alright. There was a photo of Nancy Reagan with Mr T! I pity da foo! And a photo of Ronald Reagan with ALF the alien... "You don't hear me listening to the Thompson Twins anymore." Marge continued. "Although..." She put a tape in a radio.
(tape warbles)
The Thompson Twins sing Hold Ne Now.
(humming along)
"Thank god she didn't put on Young at Heart by the Bluebells..." Oscar sighed.
"So, you were going through a phase?" Lisa asked.
"Mm-hmm." Marge replied. "The thing is dear, is not all Republicans are warmongering maniacs like George Bush Jr! Honest Abe Lincoln was a Republican. And he ended slavery. Didn't he?"
"Yes! And I suppose I have to acknowledge that not every democrat president is an angel. I mean look at Bill Clinton..." said Lisa.
"I was impeached for having an affair with my secretary! How is that grounds for impeachment! Now really?!" Bill ranted.
Meanwhile as Lisa and Marge spoke, Hugo was annoyed at them as he read in his sleeping area of the attic.
"Do you mind?! Grrrrrrr! Bleeeeee gaaaah!" He slipped into gibberish.
"Marge! Lisa! Stop bothering the mutant in the attic!" Homer yelled.
"Homer stop calling him that! And I'm showing Lisa something..." said Marge taking out some 80s stuff.
Hugo frowned and chewed a fish head.
Homer came up to badger them to come down out of Hugo's space.
"All right, '80s party!" Homer cheered hearing 80s music. "Where's the beef? Tear down that wall! Because I think the beef is behind that wall!" um... Homer that's not how references work...
Oscar winced at Homer.
"Hmm. Hmm." Marge hummer along to the music.
The Thompson Twins are still singing.
"Now get up here, boy!" Homer said to Bart. He came up to the attic. "We're gonna do "The Super Bowl Shuffle.""
"No! The Truffle Shuffle!" said Oscar.
Homer face palmed.
"No! You never let me be Mike Singletary!" Bart whined.
"Fine. You're Mike Singletary. Enjoy your mediocre coaching career." Homer sighed.
"Can I be Mike Singularity?" Hugo asked smirking.
"That's not even a thing! Freak!" Homer snapped.
Bart was singing this.
My name is Homer, I'm a real fullback
Gonna run that ball, don't want no flack
If you try to run, you'll get a heart attack
"Why you little...!" Homer growled at Bart about to throttle him.
Hey, big man, don't want no trouble
I'm just here to do "The Super Bowl...
Shuffle..."
Homer caught him and throttled him. However this time he throttled him so much he fell unconscious.
"Homer! You monster!" Oscar snapped.
"Excuse me. " said Homer going down the ladder holding Bart by his neck.(grunting)
"Me too. I have to call the authorities on your husband." said Oscar. He was calling someone on his phone.
"People's views change. Bobby Kennedy worked for Joe McCarthy. Larry David was on Fridays." said Marge.
"Now he's on Thursdays..." said Oscar.
"What are you trying to say?" Lisa asked.
"Isabel's only eight. As she grows up, surprising things will happen to her body... of beliefs. But she could always use a friend like you." said Marge.
"Hmm. Hmm." Lisa felt a bit better.
...
At School.
"Isabel?" Lisa came across Isabel at school as she was putting a book in her locker.
"Lisa?" Isabel asked.
"Listen, I'm really sorry about..." Lisa apologised as they walked to the library.
"No, it's okay. My mom says you're just going through a liberal phase." said Isabel.
"What?!" Lisa gasped. "My mom says you're going through a conservative phase."
"There's no such thing. Conservatives only get more conservative. Because every year, they get a little further through Atlas Shrugged." said Isabel.
"Okay now you're just insane... Only far right nut jobs quote that book..." said Oscar.
"Listen, we're both eight years old. Can't we just play Monopoly or something?" Lisa asked.
"My father owns a monopoly!" said Isabel.
Lisa groaned.
A hidden camera in the hamster's water bottle whirred. For some reason Nibbles was in the library.
It turns out the evil Springfield Republicans were planning something evil! Something so evil they wanted Isabel on their side to do their bidding!
"We have got to get that fiery Latina on our side! Otherwise Texas will turn blue!" said Rich Texan.
"We have got to take her in so I can groom her..." said Mr Burns.
"Eeeeeeew!" Oscar groaned in disgust.
"What do you mean, Eeeeeeew!?" Mr Burns sighed.
"You know full well what you meant by grooming..." said Oscar.
Jimmy Saville laughed maniacally.
"Yeah, we must reach her and groom her before she fattens up like Chris Christie. He thinks GOP stands for "Gravy on Pancakes."" said George Bush Sr.
"Mmmmmmmmm! Gravy on pancakes..." said Homer moaning with delight and drooling.
"Homer why are you here..." Oscar sighed.
"Because someone mentioned food... Why are you here?" Homer asked.
"Because I am the author! I have to be here! To write the story!" said Oscar.
"Anyway, what other business to attend to my brothers? How about we poison a few lakes?" asked Mr Burns.
"I know! How about we destroy the world?" Zorc Necrophades asked. There was awkward silence and everyone glared at him. "People usually laugh when I say that."
"Well no one is la- Holy Macaroni! What the hell is that dragon thing?!" Oscar replied but screamed when he saw Zorc's lower dragon thing.
"Oh that's just my willy!" said Zorc.
"Geez! Put some pants on!" Homer yelled.
...
Lisa was checking the candidate list.
"Oh, looks like I'll be running against lsabel. And Ralph?" Lisa asked.
"Just call me Ralph Nader. I don't know why." said Ralph.
Lisa winced.
"I am dreading his campaign..." Oscar groaned.
"My policies are to replace the pocket money of America with jelly beans." said Ralph.
"Uh..." said Lisa baffled.
"But no black jelly beans..." Ralph frowned.
Oscar face palmed.
Isabel arrived.
"Isabel! I want this campaign to be about the issues: same-sex field trip buddies, providing class pets with a path to citizenship... And no digging up past relationships." said Lisa.
Yeah sure Isabel's gonna keep to that Lis...
"Sure, Lisa and I dated. Sure, she broke my heart. I'm sure your researchers know all about it." said Nelson being interviewed by Isabel.
"This is the first I've heard of it." said Lisa. "And Isabel I said-"
"Really? But I got this!" Nelson tattooed his belly. The tattoo was of him on a cross like Jesus.
"Ew. How long has it been since you washed your stomach?" Lisa groaned.
"You can't ask that anymore!" said Nelson. (chuckles nervously)
"Yes she can... just like I can ask Milhouse the gender of his life guard..." said Oscar.
"No you can't! That's misgendering or forcing someone into the binary gendered system! Some people are non binary!" Milhouse replied.
"Yes I can! Tell me their gender now!" Oscar yelled putting Milhouse in an arm lock.
"Ow! Okay! She's female!" said Milhouse.
Hank seethed at Oscar.
Lisa chuckled nervously and went off with Nelson pushing him off somewhere embarrassed.
"Quit shoving!" Nelson whined.
Isabel shrugged.
...
Isabel opened her locker.
"I'd like a word with you, young lady." Mr Burns was in her locker.
"How did you get in there?" Isabel asked suspicious.
"Slid in through the grates." said Mr Burns.
He took her to an ice cream parlour to groom her... Eeeeeeeeew!
"Here's the scoop." said Mr Burns as Isabel ate ice cream. "You're our future, so we can't afford to have you lose. And I love the Spanish- from the lnquisition to the delightful Franco years"
"What are you talking about?! I'm from El Salvador!" said Isabel.
"Move over! I know how to talk to kids." said Jimmy Saville. Oh god no! "We want to give you a little present."
Oscar screamed.
"A tainted victory that will haunt you forever." Mr Burns added.
"Uh... That wasn't what I had in mind Monty..." said Jimmy Saville.
"I know what you had in mind... you sick perverted monster!" Oscar snapped.
"I'd rather do this myself." said Isabel.
"But who'd own you then?" said Mr Burns annoyed.
"You couldn't buy me with a wheelbarrow full of ice cream." said Isabel going off back to school.
"Whoa, nicely done. You've charmed another one right into the arms of the Libertarian Party." said Rich Texan annoyed.
"Maybe we can help her without her knowing we're helping her." said Krusty.
"No one says I can't buy a second grade election. Why, I had enough money to fix People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive." said Mr Burns. "Most of the money went to convincing them that I was alive."
"Who ordered the Yumboni?" Squeaky Voiced Teen asked pushing a wheelbarrow full of different flavours of ice cream.
"I did!" said Oscar. Squeaky Voiced Teen parked the wheelbarrow of ice cream near him and he started eating it.
"Smithers! Help this urchin finish this frozen dessert!" said Mr Burns.
"Sir, I'm lactose intolerant..." Smithers explained.
"And I'm intolerant of lackeys questioning my orders!" Mr Burns snapped. "I'm also intolerant of several ethnic minorities..."
Oscar glared at him while eating ice cream.
...
Later at school.
"Hey Isabel where did you go during geography?" Lisa asked.
"Your local Nuclear Power Plant Tycoon absconded with me to the Gelato store and tried to bribe me to do the bidding of The Springfield Republican Party..." said Isabel.
"Oh no!" Lisa gasped. "What did you do? What did you say?"
"Lis, I am a Republican. But I'm my own Republican..." said Isabel.
Lisa sighed with relief. "That's a relief. But is there anyway that I can get you to see things from a Democrat's point of view?"
"No. But let's have a friendly debate as rivals in the student body election. Watch out Lisa, as I will not be soft on you!" said Isabel.
Lisa sighed. She seemed nice but why does she have to be Republican?!
In the school library Lisa picked up a book titled "Conservative women throughout history. From Queen Victoria to Victoria Jackson." Victoria Jackson is an actress, singer and comedian on Saturday Night Live.
Lisa put the book back in disgust.
Oscar picked it up and skimmed through it to the section on Victoria Jackson. He was disappointed there were no jokes and groaned as he put the book back.
"Come on... one of these books holds the exit..." said Macaulay Caukin's character from The Pagemaster messing up the books.
Lisa and Isabel were debating. Oscar waited for them to start fighting. But they didn't. To his annoyance they were civilised. So he asked them a dumb knock knock joke.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there..." Isabel sighed.
"Isabel."
"Isabel who?"
"Isabella Ringing? (Is a bell-ah ringing?) Nyahahahaha!" Oscar laughed hysterically and went off tearful with laughter.
Isabel sighed.
"Well Lisa, even though we're sworn enemies in the ballot, doesn't mean we have to be when we're not campaigning..." said Isabel. They hugged. Awwwww!
"Pull her hair... use your nails..." Oscar whined.
Lisa frowned at him.
Plot 3
Meanwhile at the evil Springfield Republican Party castle. An evil haunted castle you see in old horror movies. The sign reading "Springfield Republican Party Headquarters" read a new sub heading underneath as a funny marquee gag. It read: "Now with 28% less wackos."
"No way! Spoilsports!" said Wakko from Animaniacs. He ran off to the spooky castle carrying his mallet.
"No Oz..." Bart groaned.
Wakko annoyed Mr Burns and the Springfield Republican cronies by going "Fabbo!" At everything someone said. Oh, and clobbering MR Burns with his mallet.
"I'm not wearing any pants..." said Wakko. Neither are you wearing any underwear...
...
Marge is sending the kids to school one morning.
"Have a great day, kids." said Marge. "And, Bart, I'll pick you up after school to take you to karate lessons." said Marge.
"Coooool!" said Oscar.
"Mom, after six weeks, I figured out that Sensei Weinstein is really my psychiatrist." said Bart.
"Or Mom accidentally signed you up for Krav Maga..." said Hugo. "Weinstein is a Jewish name..."
"No... My psychiatrist Hugo..." said Bart.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! No Bart's karate Sensei is Harvey Weinstein and he is groping all the women!" said Oscar.
Bart face palmed.
"Either way, for 45 minutes, you're not my problem, sweetie." said Marge to Bart.
(horn honking) The kids went to the bus... (gasps) But a banner on it read: "Vote Isabel."
"Don't worry, Lisa, despite the paid ad, I am strictly middle of the road." said Otto as the Simpson kids and Oscar got on. He then literally drove down the middle of the road. Annoying the other drivers...
"Idiot!" a guy yelled.
(horns honking)
"Pick a lane!"
(tires screech)
"Wha...?!" Lisa gasped when she arrived at school because there was a flag saying: "Viva Isabel!" With those stupid Hispanic upside down explanation marks!
Lisa found Isabel at her locker putting books away. "What are you doing?!" Lisa asked upset.
"I'm as bewildered as you are. I don't know why, but the Springfield Republican Party is grooming me." said Isabel.
"Grooming? Yuck!" said Pig Pen from Peanuts comics. Yes Pig Pen... it's canon...
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Oz enough!" Bart yelled.
"That was canon Bart... blame Matt." said Lisa.
Bart stormed off to have a few angry words with Matt over the dumb Pig Pen cameo.
Oscar smirked.
...
"Unfortunately, I can't stop it. The Supreme Court says spending money is free speech." said Isabel as if everything was normal and Pig Pen did not just cameo!
"Well, then you could use your free speech to denounce this intrusion of big money into our election." said Lisa annoyed.
"Mm, I'll think about it while I'm on my listening tour of the cafeteria." said Isabel as Smithers took her in a toddler's block cart. It too said Vote Isabel.
Maggie's room.
Maggie had set up a tavern with her dolls and plushies. She's been seeing too much of Moe's...
Lisa was there drinking imaginary booze...
(slurring): "Pour me another."
Maggie took the pretend bottle of vodka. It was just a bottle of talcum powder with the word vodka wrote on it. She shook her head.
"What are you doing? It's imaginary." said Lisa.
Maggie shook her head.
"Fine. I got to go. I'll see you later." said Lisa drunk. She left.
(Maggie sucking her pacifier.) Maggie put up a picture of Lisa on the Do not serve poster to remind herself that Lisa was barred.
(humming a tune) Bart was humming in his sleep as he slept. Someone fired spit wads at him. (grunting) They continued. "Ay, caramba!" Bart yelled waking up. "Oz! I said quit it! Lisa?!" He woke up to find Lisa was holding his pea shooter.
"Bart, I need you to help me win the election." said Lisa.
"What makes you think I'm any help in a student body election..." Bart yawned.
"Because you won when you became student body president in BlueKraid's canon. Then you got impeached by the teachers because you kept driving everyone nuts going on about asbestos..." said Lisa.
"Yeah but I lost to Martin in canon. And the library got Sci fi novels." said Bart.
"Matt says you have to help." said Lisa as Matt Groening sat in a director's chair in Bart's bedroom.
"I can help, but it's gonna get rough." said Bart sat on his bed.
"I'm fine with rough." said Lisa determined.
"You don't know what rough is." said Bart. Lisa slapped him. "That ain't rough." She slapped him again. "More like a gentle breeze." She punched him hard. "Maggie hits harder." She kicked him in the face. "Did the good night pixie just kiss my cheek?" Lisa shot a blue yo-yo at him with Betsy the slingshot.
"Ow! Okay, you got my attention. You want to win this election? Then from now on, you do exactly what I say." said Bart pacing up and down his room.
"You got it." said Lisa.
"First, go make me five pans of brownies." said Bart. He wanted brownies for some reason.
"You're just taking advantage of the situation." said Lisa annoyed.
"Hmm, maybe lsabel likes baking." said Bart leaving his room.
"Fine... Cakey or gooey?" Lisa asked. Bart came back in and frowned. "I'll make both."
Bart went off somewhere satisfied.
"Oscar, I can't just go down to the kitchen at this time of night and make some brownies..." said Lisa.
"I'll solve this, but I'll get Bart back for you too." said Oscar.
She wondered what he meant.
Later Bart was back in bed sleeping in his darkened room. Lisa was obviously back in her room asleep.
Bart's bedroom door creaked open. Bart got up rubbing his eyes.
Homer bursted in as a scary purple figure with glowing yellow eyes carrying a sharp knife yelling "BARTDOYOUWANNABROWNIEBEFOREYOUGOTOBED?!"
Bart screamed bloody murder.
Lisa in her room heard all this and giggled.
"Okay Oz, now that's fifty dollars..." said Homer in Bart's room to Oscar as Oscar paid him money and Bart sat up in bed petrified and clutching his chest trembling.
...
School hall.
Bart and Lisa were handing out brownies in return for votes for Lisa.
"First, we reel them in. Then, we scare the hell out of them." said Bart as Uter kept taking brownies.
"By discussing the school's budget crisis?" Lisa asked.
"No, with balls to the head." said Bart. "Uter enough! Those brownies are for everyone!"
The gym.
(blows whistle) "Bombardment!" Coach Krupt ordered the bullies to toss dodge balls with Isabel's face on them at the nerds.
"I associate lsabel with a pain in my tummy." Database groaned after a ball hit him hard in the stomach.
"Bombardment?" Coach Krupt asked confused as he picked up a ball and looked at it.
(groans) Database groaned.
Homer's garage.
"Miss Simpson, your platform calls for the creation of a student-run garden." said Milhouse sat at a desk.
"Organic gardening is an essential part of 21st century education, teaching both hands-on..." Lisa went on and on.
"And what programs would you cut to pay for this precious garden of yours?" Bart sharply interrogated Lisa while wearing a brown wig pretending to be Isabel. "The new Wiffle bats? Pizza Friday?"
(gasps) "Not Pizza Friday!" Lisa gasped. Mmmmmmm! Pizza...
"Sorry, Lisa, you lose again." said Milhouse.
(air horn blares) Homer blasted an air horn in Bart's ear.
"Ow! Dad!" Bart groaned.
"You got to get on your game, sister. You think I'm tough? Wait till Gutiérrez sinks her teeth into you." said Bart taking off the wig. He had hair clips in his spikes. "Remember, you got an ace in the hole: chocolate milk in the water fountains."
Oscar winced. He smiled dementedly. "Chocolate milk!"
"That's impossible. We've already had the best plumbers in the city look into it." said Lisa exasperated.
"CHOCOLATE MIIIIIIIILLLK!" Oscar screamed.
Lisa groaned.
"Oh for the love of limpet..." Bart face palmed.
"I like chocolate milk!" Oscar yelled like Cheese from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
Bart glared at him.
...
In her bedroom.
(whistling) Bart was whistling and seemed happy.
"What are you so happy about?" Lisa asked. Sat on her bed.
"It's in the bag, Lis. Once everybody sees this." said Bart showing Lisa his Myphone. "Training wheels. She still uses training wheels." said Bart showing a picture of Isabel riding a bike with training wheels. (snickers) Bart laughed.
"And...? Oscar still uses training wheels." said Lisa.
"Yeah, because he's a big dumb baby..." said Bart.
Oscar punched him.
"Ow!" Bart groaned in pain.
"And watch this." said Bart playing a video.
Isabel in a video recording fell off her bike and cried. (crying)
"Excellent. Mwuhahahaha!" Lisa laughed evilly.
"Oh God she's evil!" Oscar screamed.
Bart face palmed.
...
At school, in a corridor. The three candidates for student body president. Lisa, Ralph and Isabel were canvassing votes.
Lisa preached democratic views.
Isabel retorted with Republican views.
"I'm Ralph Wiggum and I approve of this mess." said Ralph.
"Eeeeeeew!" Everyone groaned as he had obviously soiled his pants.
However up first in the debates were candidates for the kindergarten student body president.
"First up in one of many debates is the kindergarten candidates Joey and Dylan." said Skinner. Kindergarteners were on the assembly stage.
"You're a booger head!" A blond kindergarten boy yelled.
"And I say we move beyond name-calling to solve our real problems." a fat kindergarten boy replied.
(all booing)
"Booger head!" the blond kindergarten boy yelled.
"Did your mommy nurse that mouth..." The kindergarten teacher sighed.
"Bum Bum!" said the fat kindergartener boy.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"This is exactly like the election debates between George Bush Jr and John Kerry..." Lisa sighed embarrassed.
At Maggie's bar before nap time.
Bart was drunk on pretend alcohol.
"Leave the bottle." said Bart as Maggie poured him imaginary vodka. "I bet by the end of the night, you're gonna look pretty good." Bart said to a pig plush that looks exactly like Plopper/Spider Pig.
Spider Pig Oinked confused. (Pig screeching)
Lisa stumbles in Role playing she was drunk.
Maggie frowned and silently pointed to her banned customers board while sucking her pacifier.
"Fine... I don't need you... I don't need any of you..." Lisa said, slurring. She hiccuped and left.
Oscar passing her in the hall winced.
Meanwhile Homer and Marge listened to Homer's silly Rapping Ronald Reagan tape.
"Well? Well? Well?" went the tape.
Marge winced.
"Hehehe! He did say well a lot..." said Homer chuckling.
Elsewhere in the 80s because they were a crazy time, Nancy and Ronald took photos with odd celebrities or characters like Mr T and ALF.
"I pity the foo who doesn't like Nancy!" said Mr T.
ALF had his face on POGs until someone decided a Captain Caveman rip off with a big shiny purple nose like Stimpy's blue nose would be a better mascot.
The bootleg Captain Caveman thing with a purple shiny wet nose held a baby a loft and sniffed his diaper. The baby wriggled and sweated.
Hank seethed.
"Why did they get rid of ALF?" Bart asked.
"He ate cats..." said Oscar.
Plot 4
Lisa that night dreamt of Democrats such as John Kerry, Michael Dukakis, Walter Mondale and Bill Clinton.
"Ooooh! That Greek salad must have had expired olives in it..." Lisa in her dream groaned.
Bill bored her in her dream so she fell asleep and snores.
"Hey you can't fall asleep in a dream!" said Bill Clinton.
Yes you can... Ask Leonardo Di Caprio in Inception.
Meanwhile Homer also dreamt about Bill Clinton.
Bill going on about politics.
"Oh you're not fun anymore!" Homer whined.
"Kevin Costner used to be a movie star. Get over it." said Bill Clinton.
And Oscar dreamt of Bill Clinton too.
However in his dream Bill pulled off his face to reveal he was Kang the alien in a body suit.
"Fear the call back! Fear it!" said Kang.
Oscar screamed.
...
At school, Fourth Grade's candidates Martin and Bart were debating.
"Vote for me my chums and I'll guarantee a sci-fi section in the library of our finest science fiction writers! Asimov! Bester! Clarke!"
"What about Bradbury?" Wendell asked.
"I am aware of his work..." said Martin dismissing him.
Bart interrupted.
"Hey vote for me dudes and I'll promise more asbestos! More asbestos! More asbestos! More asbestos!"
He started a chant among the whole school.
Skinner sighed and face palmed.
...
A mid morning 3rd grade lesson. Skinner was announcing something.
"Good morning. We have completed the tally of the votes for class representative. One brief announcement: the tainted Greek salad has given several students nightmares involving Michael Dukakis. (Aaaaaaaagh!) It may recur tonight, so if possible, have your parents strap you to the bed." said Skinner.
Oscar who was sleeping in class slumped over his desk drooling woke up screaming. "Aaaaaaaaaaagh! Michael Dukakis!"
Ace winced.
Oscar was then reading Wikisimpsons in assembly. "You're Argentinian?!" He asked Isabel because I thought she was El Salvador or something.
"Yes..." said Isabel.
"Gimme back my Falkland Islands!" Oscar yelled.
"You have them back! If anything they're mine!" Isabel yelled.
"Izzy! Oz! Let the Falkland people decide for themselves!" Lisa yelled.
"No! And Madonna stop singing about Argentina!" Oscar yelled at Madonna.
"I like Madonna singing about my country!" Isabel yelled.
Lisa face palmed.
And the ice cream parlour Isabel went to is called Phineas Q. Butterfat's. It's the same one Bart went to on his birthday when he fell down a well.
Hugo picking the ice cream flavours saw two boxes of ice cream named Cone, the Barbarian and Thriller in Vanilla. Which hopefully contains dancing zombies.
Hugo winced. "I think I'll just stick with fish flavour or Rocky Road."
Fred FredBurger annoyed Squeaky Voiced Teen by constantly asking what two flavours were.
"What flavour is the brown one?"
"That's chocolate..."
"Mmmmmm! I like chocolate! What flavour is that green one?"
"That's mint flavoured." said Squeaky Voiced Teen.
"Mmmmm! I like mint! What flavour is that brown one again?" Fred FredBurger asked.