"Bucky, I can't see; I'm pretty sure I've sustained damage to my eyes," I told Bucky, taking a few deep breaths.
The pain in my face made me, for a moment, truly believe that I was dying. I could feel the blood trickling down my face, making me feel even more uncomfortable. Turning my head in either direction, I couldn't see a thing.
" Alex, are you all right?" Bucky asked.
"Do you trust me?" Bucky asked.
"With my life," I replied.
"Then let me carry you," Bucky said as he gently picked me up.
I could feel the gentle movement of Bucky's body as he moved. Despite not being able to see, I knew that I was safe. I could hear other voices, chaos going on around me, and the sound of Steve's boots crunching across the pavement. The sound of the weapons on my dad's suit, the sound of Clint's arrows whizzing through the air. The sound of the Hulk's heavy footsteps shaking the earth. Natasha's tired grunts as she grows battle-weary. Everything around me was quickly becoming far too loud.
" Buck," I whimpered.
" Yeah, doll," Bucky replied.
"It's too loud, Bucky," I cried, feeling overwhelmed.
"Guys, Alex is hurt," Bucky's voice called above the noise.
"Get her back to the jet," I heard my dad snap the order to Bucky.
"Bucky, I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now," I said.
"I know, doll; I'll make sure everything is okay," Bucky whispered.
I could hear the other members of the team filing onto the jet. I could hear the heavy, armored footsteps of my father moving closer to me. I felt a damp rag against my face, cleaning up the now-dried blood from my face.
" Can you see me, Alex?" Dad asked.
"No, I can't see anything, " I said, pulling my face downwards into a frown.
"Did you get hit in the eyes, Alex?" Dad questioned.
"I honestly don't remember," I whispered sadly.
Before too long, the pain was becoming too much. I wanted to scream and cry, but I knew it would only hurt my dad and Bucky more.
"Are you in pain?" Dad asked, worry clouding his thoughts, made evident by his words.
"I'm fine," I whispered, trying not to let how much pain I was in the show through.
"You're not a fine doll. I know you're in pain and scared. Let me hold you," Bucky's soft voice was in my ear, and it was the last voice I heard before going unconscious.
When I opened my eyes, I still couldn't see a thing. I could hear the beeping of the heart monitor I was connected to. I heard the shuffle of movement in the room and recognized the smell of Dr. Banner's cologne. I knew he must have convinced my dad to go home and rest.
" Uncle Bruce?" I said, getting his attention.
"Alex, you're awake. Can you see?"
"No, I still can't see anything. This means I'm done for; I can't be part of the team anymore. Look at me; I can't see, let alone fight like this," I said, gesturing to the state I was in.
"Alex, I don't think this means the end; if I know you, you'll find a way," I could hear the smirk in Bruce's voice.
"Maybe you're right. How's my dad doing?" I asked Bruce finally, unable to keep myself from asking the million-dollar question.
"He's worried about. The doctors told him your chances of getting your vision b, ack, and he lost it," Bruce replied.
"I know he's always there to help, especially when he's worried about me," I replied.
"That he is," Bruce agreed; we sat in silence for a few moments while I contemplated my next question. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know now, but I knew I needed to know.
"How's Bucky?" I finally asked the question that had been bugging me.
" I think he may be a little worse than your dad. Bucky and Steve should be back shortly," Bruce said, and as soon as he finished speaking, Bucky and Steve came through the door.
"Bucky, Steve, thank you both for being here," I said softly.
"Alex, you do know that this means you likely never see again, right?" Steve asked.
" I know, Steve, but I'm just grateful to have walked away with my life. Others weren't quite so lucky," I replied.
" So you don't care that you can't see?" Bucky asked.
"Nope, because you see, Bucky, the most important things are seen with the heart, not the eyes," I smiled, showing everyone just how happy I still was.
"You're handling this better than any of us expected," Steve said.
"Well, there's not much I can do but accept it. I wasn't really given that choice; that Choice was taken from me, and there's no point in being sad about it," I replied. I didn't see a reason why I should sugarcoat everything.
That's when I heard my dad's footsteps enter the room. I didn't know what to say to him; it felt like there was nothing that could bridge the gap. I knew my dad was beating himself up over me getting hurt.
" How do you feel, Alex?" Dad asked, deciding to be the first one to break the silence.
" I feel fine, Dad. I'm a little sore, but I feel fine otherwise," I assured him.
"Alex, baby, you realize that you won't get your sight back," Dad said, and I could feel his worry.
"I know, Dad. I'm just grateful to be alive. Let's face it, Dad, you almost lost me. If the damage had been any worse or if I had been any weaker, I would have been dead well before anyone could have gotten me to the hospital. However, I am still alive, so I'm just grateful I didn't die on the battlefield," I said, hoping to put everyone's worries to bed.
" Alex, I don't know if you should be an Avenger anymore. At least not for a while yet," Dad said.
"I know; until we know how bad it is, I'm not to be fighting. Got it," I said, sounding a little frustrated.
"Alex, it's for your safety. You know it's not safe for you to be doing all that so soon after losing your sight," Dad replied gently.
"I know, but that doesn't mean I need to hear it. I know that without some sort of miracle, I'll never be able to see again. I've made peace with it, but that doesn't mean I want continued conversation about it." I finally snapped; I'd had enough of being treated as though I was broken just because I couldn't see.
"Alex, we need to talk about it because everything changes now," Dad pressed gently.
"So what? I can't see; that doesn't make me weak or incapable. I don't need someone to wait on me or take care of me. This changes nothing like you think it does." My anger was lit a blaze at that very moment. I wasn't going to be treated like an invalid just because I couldn't see.
"Alex is right; she's not incapable. Now, while she's still healing, she needs some extra help. Though it should be up to her who she wants to take care of her," Bucky said, finding at least a reasonable middle ground.
"What do you think of that?" My dad questioned, turning to me.
"Fine, that's a bit more reasonable," I relented and agreed.
"So, who's it gonna be a kid?" Dad asked.
I glanced around, seeing everyone standing there waiting for my choice. I knew I didn't want my dad fussing over me. That's when I knew exactly who it was going to be.
"Bucky," I whispered.
"You want me to stay with you, doll?" Bucky asked.
"Yeah," I responded quietly.
"Well, that settles it, Alex. Bucky will stay with you until you're fully healed. I'm going to get the doctor. The rest of you should probably head back to the tower and let her rest. Bucky was about to leave, but I grabbed his metal hand. He stopped and turned to look at me.
"Stay, please. I don't wanna be alone," I whispered.
"Okay, doll," Bucky replied, sitting down in the chair beside me, still holding my hand.
I felt so fucking drained; I just didn't want to exist anymore. Despite the happy front I put on, I felt incomplete without my sight. I wanted to cry, but with how damaged my eyes were, I didn't know if I could.
"How are you really feeling, doll? I know that with all the others around, you didn't want anyone to know how bad you really feel," Bucky said.
"Not good, Buck; I can't see anything. I feel so damn weak and helpless. I didn't want the others to know how bad this really is. I feel like I've lost myself." I felt the last of my composure leave me.
"You're not weak or helpless, Alex. Here, give me your hand," Bucky said. I complied and gave him my free hand. Slowly, I felt him take my free hand to his face. It felt warm, and slowly, I dragged my hand across his face, feeling every contour of his face and skin. Suddenly, I felt some kind of jolt run through me, and I saw Bucky and the room around me.
"Holy shit," I murmured just as the doctor came in with my dad. I wasn't sure what to make of what had just happened but didn't have time to really think about it.
"Ms. Stark, I'm glad to see that you're awake. I know that this must be difficult for you. However, I will say that there is a minute chance that you could regain your sight, though that is highly unlikely," the doctor said.
"I understand. I've been through this conversation multiple times today, and I just want to rest. The only question I have now is when I can be released to go home. I just want my bed and some comfy clothes," I said, cracking a tired smile.
"Well, that's where you're in for some good news: you'll be able to go home tomorrow. You'll just need to stay tonight," the doctor replied, and if I could get up and do a happy dance, I would.
The doctor exited the room and left me with my father and Bucky. I knew that Bucky wanted to know what had happened before the doctor walked in. It was so strange; it was as if I had never lost my sight. I enjoyed that feeling so much that I wanted it to happen again. Slightly, I motioned for my dad to come closer, and I heard the footsteps indicating that he listened. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit beside me. Once he was seated beside me, I did the same thing to him that I did to Bucky. That's when the same feeling returned, and I moved my head, looking around the room, and I saw Bucky and my dad.
"No fucking way," I whispered.
"What is it, Alex?" Dad asked.
"When I touched you just a moment ago. I felt this strange sensation, and then I could see a flash of you, Bucky, and the room," I said.
"Alex, I know you want to believe—" Dad started to say but was cut off.
"Dad, it happened earlier when I touched Bucky. So, I don't think I'm a delusional or daydreaming dad. I really think something strange is at play," I said, barely looking up to meet his gaze.
"Well, whatever it is, we'll figure this out," Dad replied, kissing the top of my head.
Soon, visiting hours were over, and both Bucky and Dad had to leave. As they were leaving, I wanted to cry, but again, I wasn't even sure if I could. When they both had finally made it out the door, I let my façade fall. I just couldn't cope with what I was feeling. I reached over and grabbed my phone, wishing I could look at all the pictures I had of me and the team. However, I knew that the likelihood of me ever seeing again wasn't great.