Coming home, everything was different, and I knew that this was because people insisted on treating me as though I was glass. I didn't want to be the one that everyone was babying. I just wanted to be me and do what I loved most. However, there was still one thing on my mind. I wanted to know where those flashes came from. I wanted to know why, in those moments, I could see with perfect clarity.
"Welcome home, Alex," Natasha said, hugging me.
"Thanks, Nat," I smiled, trying to feel something like I did before the battle.
"Alex, how are you feeling?" Clint asked.
"I'm fine. I'm a little tired and just all-around sore, but I'll live," I said, smiling.
"I think I should get her to bed; she's still awfully tired." Bucky's voice rose above the noise.
"Yeah, we should let her sleep," Steve chimed in agreement, though I could feel his stare on me. I cautiously took a step towards Steve, hearing everyone react quickly except for Bucky. He moved slowly and cautiously right beside me, a careful distance away but close enough if I needed help. I continued to walk in the direction that Steve's gaze had come from. Unbeknownst to me, I was moving in a straight line towards Steve.
"Alex?" Steve asked carefully as I positioned myself in his arms, which had wrapped around me.
"I need to see something," I said quietly as I put my hand on his face. That's when the feeling returned. Soon after, I saw the flash of the image of the tower and Steve's khakis and blue polo shirt. "Steve, I need you to answer a question for me. Are you wearing a blue polo and khakis?" I asked.
"How did you know that?" Steve asked, startled.
"When I touched your face, I could see you and the room and people surrounding you. For a moment, one singular heart-stopping moment, it was like I had never lost my sight," I told Steve and the rest of the Avengers, who were no doubt hanging onto my every word.
"How is that possible?" Steve asked.
"I don't know, Steve, but I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me. This has happened three times since I lost my sight," I told them.
I felt arms encircle me, and I knew they weren't Steve's because of the way that they held me. I could tell Bucky's hold anywhere. I wasn't even entirely sure how I knew it was him; I just did.
"Let's get you to bed, doll," Bucky whispered in my ear.
"Okay," I whispered.
Bucky led me away from everyone, and as tired as I was, I still had to find answers to what was going on with me. I didn't know how this happened, but I felt like a freak. That's when I lost it. I finally broke and cried. Surprisingly, my badly damaged eyes could still produce tears. I was beside myself, and I was able to cry, so I cried even harder. We had finally made it to my room, and I wished that none of this had ever happened.
"Doll, what's wrong?" Bucky asked.
"Am I a freak?" I asked quietly.
"No, now why would you think that doll?" Bucky questioned, sounding confused.
"I go blind and then suddenly have special powers, which makes me feel a lot like a freak," I laughed bitterly.
"You are not a freak, Alexandra. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone," Bucky whispered the last part.
"You really mean all that, Buck?" I asked him.
"Of course, I do, doll," Bucky replied.
"I love you too, James; I've felt this way for a long time," I whispered.
"Why did you act so afraid of me all this time?" Bucky asked.
"Because Buck, you made me feel things I didn't know were possible. Those feelings were something I didn't understand, and that scared me," I whispered.
"Alex, I don't ever want you to be afraid of me or to tell me anything," Bucky responded quietly.
"Stay with me? I don't really want to be alone. It's hard to sleep anymore, despite how tired I am." I didn't meet his gaze, but I knew that he knew how out of place I was feeling.
"Of course, Alex," Bucky's voice was soft as he climbed into bed with me. I casually touched his face and felt the sensation of the feeling coming about. I could then see Bucky's face from what I remembered to be my bleary eyes when I was tired. This was too much like having my eyes back without being able to see.
"I love you," I said while still touching his face so I could see him clearly.
"I love you too," he replied, and I saw his eyes light up with a smile. That was the best feeling in the world, seeing his reaction to the words I love you. My little experiment with Steve had been a success. That meant I was seeing the real thing, and that meant that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't completely blind. I fell asleep before I had much time to think of much else.
Waking up in the morning was the hardest thing to do; I felt like I hadn't slept for a thousand years. We slept through the day and night. I just wanted to get up and do something, but my useless eyeballs were hurting like hell. I just wanted the pain to go away; I hated it so much. Bucky was still asleep, but I needed a shower. I felt like Night of the Living Dead, almost like I had a hangover but worse.
"How are you feeling, Alex?" Bruce asked, poking his head through the door.
"Like shit, could you get me some painkillers from the bathroom?" I asked him quietly so as not to wake Bucky.
" Sure," Bruce said as he walked into the room, closing the door gently. A few moments later, Bruce returns with the painkillers.
"Thanks," I mumbled weakly, grabbing the water I had left at my bedside.
"So Alex, after what you told me, I wanted to ask you if you would consent to some tests to see if we can figure out what happened to you," Bruce replied.
"Yeah, I need to know what's going on and what it means for me. If this is something dangerous, I need to deal with it. I'm not going to put my dad or Bucky through that again. It's bad enough that things will never be normal ever again," I said quietly, and Bruce walked close enough that I could touch his face, so I caught a glimpse of him and the room around me.
"Do you see me right now?" Bruce asked, still holding my hand on his face.
"Yes," I replied calmly.
"Come down to the lab when Bucky wakes up, and we'll run a few other tests," Bruce replied.
"Okay," I whispered.
Bruce nodded and walked back to the door, leaving and shutting it softly. Bucky was still sleeping soundly beside me. The painkillers were starting to take effect because the pain in my useless eyes was subsiding some. I still wanted to shower, so cautiously, I slid out of bed and made my way through my room to the bathroom by memory. Once inside the bathroom, I turned on the water and carefully stepped in; I was just glad that the tower had been my home for so long that I didn't need much of a guide around the tower. The shower felt good on my aching muscles. I knew that I shouldn't be moving and doing a whole lot of activity, but I hated being a bother to people. Slowly but surely, I cleaned myself and somehow managed my entire shower routine without sight. The more I gently washed my body, the better I felt, and soon I was in this meditative state, and I realized that I could see as long as I didn't lose touch with a certain part of my mind. That's when I discovered that it was magic and not some virus or disease. I was completely different, and that was music that was playing in my ears. I went about the rest of my shower and getting dressed in this state and realized it was so much easier to see this way. I could see from many different angles. I could see from every viewpoint in the room all at once.
"Alex, where are you?" Bucky called through the room.
"In the bathroom getting dressed," I was surprised that talking to Bucky didn't disrupt my ability to see. Maybe it was because I finally understood what I was dealing with.
"Why didn't you ask for help?" Bucky asked.
"Because Buck, this has been my room and bathroom for ages. I know exactly where everything is. That was one area where I really didn't need any help. I promise," I assured Bucky.
"All right, we should probably get you down to the lab so Bruce can run those tests mentioned last night," Bucky said, getting up and fully redressing himself.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said, feeling a little sad, and that's when it all went dark again. I quickly made the connection that if I got upset or worked up, it blocked my sight.
The elevator ride down to the lab seemed to last a million light years because I couldn't see, and I couldn't calm down enough to see. When we got to Bruce, my dad was standing there talking to him. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, and that's when my connection to that power returned. When it did, I couldn't help myself; I just surged forward and hugged my dad. Everyone was shocked that I knew exactly where to go to get to him.