A/N: I do not own any character references by JK Rowling in the Harry Potter series. This story is a product of my pure imagination.

I said, "Leave", but, baby, all I want is you.
To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles
Screaming, "I'm in love with you."
Wait there in the pourin' rain, come back for more.
And don't you leave, 'cause I know
All I need is on the other side of the door

With your face and the beautiful eyes
And the conversation with the little white lies
And the faded picture of a beautiful night

~Other Side of the Door by Taylor Swift

*~*~* December 25, 1999 *~*~*

"I have a gift I have to give," Ron said as he pushed his chair back.

"Ron," Harry warned.

"Hermione, sunshine daisies, butter mellow," Ron said as he dropped to one knee, and the room fell silent, "Will you marry this fellow?"

Gasps echoed around the table, and Molly walked in with the Christmas pudding, dropping it to the floor as she saw Ron with a ring box in hand beside Hermione.

Time seemed to stand still as Hermione felt the weight of Ron's words fracture the divide between them even more. Before she could respond, Molly put her hands to her face, "Oh, I have so many plans!"

"Ron," Hermione whispered as she closed the box, "I can't."

Her heart broke as hurt and confusion covered his face, "I can't, Ron, not now. We need to talk."

"It's someone else, isn't it?" Ron asked bitterly.

"No! God no, let's not talk about this in front of everyone," Hermione said as she stood up and grabbed his hand.

He set the ring box on the table and followed her outside.

Ginny reached over and grabbed the box, opening it up, "Oh come on, Ron, even an Auror has to make enough money to buy a ring better than this."

"He bought it last night, last minute before the ring shoppe closed," Harry sighed as he sat back in his chair, "He put no thought into it and didn't think it through. I told him upstairs it was stupid, and she would say no, and he still did it."

Outside, Hermione led Ron through the chilled air and cast a privacy bubble around them, "Ron, what the hell were you thinking?"

"That I love you, and you love me, so why can't we get married?" Ron asked, exasperated.

Hermione ran her hands through her hair, "Seriously, Ron? Is this love? Does love make you have to fight with the other person just so you can both get turned on enough to fuck? NO!" Hermione paced, "God, Ron, yes, we are good together, but I'm so tired of not being enough!"

Ron frowned, "When did I ever tell you that you aren't enough? I've never told you that you aren't enough."

"I just… I can't, Ron," Hermione whispered.

"But why, Hermione?" Ron pleaded as he took her hands.

Hermione sat down on the large garden rock as tears started falling from her eyes, "It's not that I don't care for you, Ron," She said softly, "But love isn't just about wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone, for them to wait on you hand and foot. It's about understanding, compromise, and being there for each other when needed."

Ron's brow furrowed, "But we've already been through so much together. We've fought for our lives, laughed, and cried together. Isn't that love?"

Hermione shook her head, frustrated, "Love is more than shared experiences, Ron. It's about having respect for each other and acceptance. Lately, I feel like you're always trying to change and mold me into someone I'm not. Into a version of your Mum."

Ron sat beside her and stared at the snow, "I'm sorry, Hermione. I never meant for you to feel that way. I just… wanted us to be happy and build a future together because I can't see my future without you."

Hermione sighed as she took his hand, "I want that too, Ron. Even if, for some reason, we don't make it. I don't want to lose you. Your friendship, Harry's friendship, are too important to me. But we need to work on our relationship to communicate better and more honestly. The gaps separating us seem to grow, and I hate it."

Ron nodded, "I promise, Hermione. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, to show you how much you mean to me. You and Harry gave me that phone. I'm going to call you. I'll put the work in."

Hermione smiled, "Then let's take it one step at a time, and maybe we will get to that point where I'll say yes. Also, I cannot believe you remembered that spell the twins gave you all those years ago."

*~*~* December 31, 1999 *~*~*

Hermione lay on the living room floor at her parents' house, shooting rainbows of light out of her wand as Teddy sat on her back. Harry was making bubbles with his wand, and the light would streak into the bubbles, fragmenting through the room in thousands of sparkling rainbows of color. Every time the light hit, Teddy would giggle harder.

"Well, I'll be off," Andromeda said as she appeared at the door, "Teddy is all set up in your room, Hermione."

Harry looked up at her, "You look very nice."

"Well, thank you. My friends and I decided to go to London to celebrate at midnight. Thought it was fitting to dress appropriately. If you need me, just send me a patronus, but I think you have it covered," Andromeda said with a smile, "Have a wonderful evening."

"Think Y2K will happen?" Hermione asked Andromeda.

Andromeda laughed, "Not that it would affect the wizarding world, but no. I think Muggles underestimate themselves and don't completely understand the technology they have. I don't think any monumental changes will happen when it becomes the year 2000. Anyways, goodnight."

"Goodnight," Hermione said as Andromeda disapparated and Teddy toppled over onto Hermione's behind, "At least I have a big bottom to give him a cushion."

"Your arse isn't big at all, Hermione… not that I've looked," Harry clarified as he picked Teddy up. Hermione rolled onto her back to sit up, "I just noticed your jumper. Is that a Weasley jumper? Did Molly finally make you one?"

Hermione scoffed, "I got one last year that didn't fit right, but she definitely wouldn't now that I said no to her baby boy. No, Ron hates maroon, and she made him a maroon jumper this year, so he gave it to me."

Harry pulled Teddy into his lap, "How are you two?"

Hermione bit her lip, "He at least is attempting to make an effort now. We have gone out, you know, twice this week. The cell phone has helped, too."

Harry bounced Teddy, "Is he seriously using it?"

"He has called me twice, but I also walked him through how to use it on Christmas Eve," Hermione told him as she pulled her knees up to her chest, "It's still been weird since Christmas. I know it's only been a week, but it's just awkward between us still."

Harry set Teddy down with his toys, shaking his head, "I thought he would listen to me when I told him he was stupid for thinking about it. I still can't believe he was stupid enough to think you'd say yes."

Hermione sighed, "He had good intentions, but as always with Ron, he acts first, then thinks things through later."

"Is he coming over for the New Year?" Harry asked.

Hermione shook her head, "No, not that he mentioned. Is Ginny?"

Harry shook his head, "She is going out with friends to a bar. Not my scene, so I told her I'd stay here with Teddy and you instead."

"We are just like an old married couple," Hermione joked.

"I told that boy the other day to get off your lawn," Harry told her, "I guess it fits."

Hermione just laughed.

"10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1… Happy New Year!"

Hermione looked around as the house stayed lit and the television stayed on, "Y2K, what a joke."

Harry leaned over and kissed Hermione's cheek, "Happy New Year, Hermione."

Hermione kissed his cheek back, "Happy New Year, Harry. Cheers!" They clinked their glasses and then sat back on the couch, "What do you think this year will be like?"

"If anything like these last four months, refreshing," Harry admitted, looking over at her as he sipped his champagne, "I'm glad you found this program. I think it's helping my confidence a bit, and not being THE Harry Potter there helps. I can just be Harry, the student."

Hermione squeezed his hand, "I'm happy for you."

*~*~* January 7, 2000 *~*~*

Pulling her button-up blouse over her floral shirt, Hermione put her jean jacket on with a warming charm. Pulling her hair from her coat, she walked to Grimmauld Place's stairs. "Hey, Harry?" Hermione yelled up the stairs.

"Yeah?" Harry's voice replied from somewhere on the fourth floor.

"I'm going to stop by and see Ron. He is staying at George's flat while he is traveling," Hermione told him glancing over where Mrs. Black's portrait had finally been removed with the help of Andromeda and her family's magic.

"See you later!"

Hermione stepped out on the front step and disapparated to Diagon Alley. Putting her hood up as it started to sprinkle, she quickly walked through the alley to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, thankful that the January evening was not too cold. Walking inside, she looked around the busy shoppe filled with many people she recognized from Hogwarts from years beneath her, trying to see anyone she knew working. Seamus and Lee must not be working, and all the other employees she was unfamiliar with, so she headed to the stairs to the flat on the top floor. Reaching the landing, Hermione opened the door to the flat.

As the door swung open, Hermione stepped in and saw Ron on the bed, his naked back to her under the covers.

"Oh Ron," A female voice moaned as Ron leaned over to kiss the woman that he was thrusting into her with definitely more force than he had ever had with her.

Hermione gasped, and Ron's eyes met hers as she slammed the door. Her heart plummeted to her stomach as realization dawned upon her. The door opened behind her, and Ron walked out in just boxers, which were inside out, "Hermione."

Hermione turned towards him with tears falling down her face, "No! I trusted you, Ron," her voice barely above a whisper, "I thought, while I said no, we have…had something real. How long has this been going on?"

Ron closed his eyes, "For two months. I'm sorry, Hermione. This is only the second time I slept with her, the first time we were drunk, and I was just-" Ron said as she held up her hand, "Don't bother, Ron. I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone."

"I will fix it, I swear!" Ron pleaded as he grabbed her arm as she turned back down the steps.

Ron yelped, letting go of her arm as her magic reached out and shocked him, "I can't forgive this, Ron! I told you how I felt, and you still slept with her! You have been seeing her behind my back!" Hermione yelled, her voice breaking through the tears.

"So this is it? You throw everything away because I screwed up," Ron said angrily.

Hermione shook her head, "You more than screwed up, Ron. You screwed her!" Hermione told him.

"I take that as a yes, that we are over," Ron said.

"Grow the fuck up, Ron," Hermione said as she turned and fled down the stairs ignoring Ron's pleas as she fled down to the store floor, pulling her hood up. Stepping out into the rain, it had become a torrential downpour that instantly soaked her, numbing her body even more as she walked out into Diagon Alley. Knowing there was no way she could disapparate, she started walking back to Grimmauld Place.

The sun had set below the horizon and gave the sky a blood-red look as she turned onto Grimmauld Place. Walking past the rod iron fence, she grabbed onto it as she stumbled on a loose stone.

"Hermione? Hermione!" Harry's voice echoed in her head as her knees went to the ground. Harry's feet were in front of her, catching her, "Are you hurt? What happened?"

"Ron," Hermione gasped out.

Suddenly, she was in Harry's arms as he carried her inside Grimmauld Place and into the study. Setting her down on the couch, he touched her face, "What happened?"

Hermione gasped through her teeth, chattering, "Ron cheated on me."

Harry sat back, "He did what?"

Hermione sobbed, "I went to see him, and I found him with a woman fucking in George's flat. He said it's the second time they were together."

Harry's eyes seemed to glow as he stood up and kissed the top of her head, "Winky!"

Winky appeared, "Mister Harry Potter, sir, a friend of Dobby. Yous called Winky?

"Take care of Hermione," Harry said as he disapparated with a crack.

Winky turned towards her, "Miss Grangy, we needs to get you out of those wet clothes. Yous will catch your death soaked to the bone like this."

Hermione robotically stood up and led Winky up to the working bathroom in the house. Winky started the tub and prepared her a warm bath, "Winky will be back, Miss Grangy."

Sitting on the toilet, Hermione put her head between her knees as she tried to catch her breath. She jumped as Winky reappeared and put stuff into the bath. The warmth of the bathroom seemed to seep into her bones as she attempted to peel the clothes plastered to her skin away from her body as it trembled from the cold.

Winky snapped her fingers, and her clothing disappeared from her body. Sinking into the bath with Winky's help, the warmth from the water finally seemed to chase away from the chill of the icy rain, but she couldn't remove the chill that had set into her heart. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she closed them and took a breath as she submerged herself in the water. Holding her breath until she could no more, she emerged from the water, gasping as sobs took over her body.

After thirty minutes, Winky pulled her out of the tub and dressed her in a large oversized sweater and tracksuit bottoms. As the door to the bathroom opened, Harry was sitting on the floor on the other side. He looked up at her with broken glasses, his eye already swelling and black and blue, his lip was busted, and so were his bloody knuckles. Standing up, he pulled her into his arms, "I'm so sorry."

Hermione stepped back and looked at him. Touching his glasses, they repaired themselves, and then she fell back into his embrace, closing her eyes in exhaustion.

The next time Hermione opened her eyes, she was back in her house in bed. Harry was asleep on the bed next to her, holding her hand.

Getting up to use the bathroom, she returned to see Harry leaning against the wall, "I'm okay."

Harry hugged her, "It's okay if you aren't."

Hermione buried her head into his chest, breathing in the comforting smell of pure Harry, "How could he do this, Harry? How could he do this to me?" Grabbing his hand, she ran her thumb over his knuckles, "What did you do?"

"I went to George's and confronted him. She was still there," Harry spit out, "I couldn't believe him and I went off. Things were shouted between the both of us, his insecurities and accusations. I said some things that have been bothering me for years." Harry sighed, "It will probably get back to Ginny, and she will be mad at me."

"Harry, I don't want you to ruin your relationship and your friendship with Ron because of me," Hermione told him sadly.

"We had some things to hash out that we've swept under the rug for years. Hermione, I love Ron. He is my best friend besides you, but he needed a reality check on how he treats you and me. I'm tired of the jealousy and the immaturity he tends to have, and I told him that. He didn't like it, so he threw the first punch. He knew he was wrong, but maybe it will sink in," Harry said, rubbing her back.

*~*~* January 27, 2000 *~*~*

"So, how was your winter break?" Josh asked as he sat backward on Harry's desk chair.

Harry looked over at Hermione, who was under his covers in one of his Quidditch jerseys, then back at Josh, "It could have been better. Positive, we spent a lot of time with our godson."

Hermione moved her face out of the covers, "I caught my boyfriend fucking one of his coworkers, and we broke up, then he and Harry got into a fistfight. None of us have talked since."

Josh looked at them, surprised, "Seriously?"

Harry nodded, "At least his family thinks he is stupid too. Ginny cursed him when she found out from what she told me."

"What courses are you taking this semester?" Josh asked them.

"Colloquium on Law," Hermione said, looking at Harry. "Same," Harry nodded. "Economics and Politics, and British Politics," Hermione told him as she looked at Harry, "He is in those too."

"Yep," Harry said as he leaned back against the wall.

"I'm also taking Animal Law and Professional Responsibility in Criminal Practice," Hermione told Josh, "No Wizarding classes this semester. Just a seminar later in the semester."

"I'm taking Criminal Law too," Harry informed him as Hermione put her legs in his lap.

"I'm sorry that your boyfriend cheated on you, though. That's messed up," Josh told her.

Hermione sighed as Harry kneaded her tense muscles, "He isn't ready to grow up, and we've had a lot of fights about that. One day, he will realize it." Hermione sighed, "I just, at this point in my life, as much as I love Ron, don't think I'm the witch for him to grow up for."

*~*~* February 10, 2000 *~*~*

Hermione sighed as she ran her hands through her hair in frustration. Harry looked up from his textbook, "What's wrong?"

"None of the texts in our library have what I am looking for!" Hermione said, frustrated.

Harry closed his book, "Not even the law library?"

"No, but one of the other student assistants suggested going to the New York Public Library. Looks like I will have to do that," Hermione sighed.

Harry sat up, "I'll go with you."

Hermione looked at him, surprised, "Really?"

"Sure, we can go sightseeing a bit uptown too. We haven't done that much," Harry suggested.

Walking down the sidewalk, the New York Public Library loomed before Hermione and Harry. Hermione adjusted her backpack and looked up at the large building, "Isn't it magnificent, Harry?" Hermione stated in awe, "This large building is filled with so much knowledge."

Harry nodded, "It's something alright. I don't think I've seen anything like it."

As they started climbing the stairs, past the Greek-inspired architecture, Harry's foot caught on the edge of a stair, sending him stumbling forward onto the ground.

Hermione tried not to laugh as she looked down at him, offering a hand. "What an icon, nearly defeated by steps and not by Voldemort," she teased as he took her hand and pulled her down onto his lap.

Harry chuckled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I suppose even the Boy Who Lived can't conquer everything, Hermione. Even if it is stairs."

Hermione stood up, pulling down her coat as they finally reached the top of the stairs. The doors swung open, inviting them into the world of knowledge within. After a bag check, Hermione looked around, "This reminds me of the castle. Just with marble and not stone."

"Where to first?" Harry asked her.

Hermione laughed quietly, "I have no clue where to start."

After visiting a few galleries, Hermione grabbed Harry's arm, "Why do I feel a bit disappointed? It's books, but it is more like an art gallery of books than a library."

Walking down a hallway, Hermione felt a chill, reminding her of the Ministry. Opening the door, she took in the tables and the information desk, "So wait, all the periodicals are behind a desk, and you have to ask for them?"

Hermione huffed as stairs after sets of stairs were blocked off for exploration, "Where are the books?" They passed a type of store and found a door leading them to library stacks, "Finally!"

"Shhh!" Patrons stated, causing Harry to laugh.

After an hour, Harry was getting bored. Hermione glanced over at him and shut the book she was looking at, "You are bored."

Harry shook his head, "No, I'm fine."

Hermione brought her books to the librarian, thanked her, and grabbed his hand, "Come on. I just want to explore upstairs, and then we can go."

After climbing to the next floor, Harry noticed a shimmering lion with two buttons next to it, "Do you see that?"

Hermione looked at it, "Press it."

"Which one?" Harry whispered as people passed by.

"Left, always the left first," Hermione stated as she reached past him and pushed it. The lion's nose turned into a doorknob, and Harry turned it.

A small man looked up as they entered the room, "Hello! Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone. It's been a while since a witch or wizard entered this room. I'm Ben."

"Hello, Ben. Is this room a secret?" Hermione asked.

Ben's face lit up, "A British witch at that. Welcome to the Scamander Library, where the Scamander family collection is stored. If you want something specific, I can try to find it for you."

"I'm looking for books about Animal and Beast Law in America, and if there are any about British law, that would be amazing as well," Hermione stated.

Ben stared at Harry, "You look familiar."

Harry shrugged, "I guess I have that face."

"I guess. Alright, Animal and Beast Law. Any period that you are focusing on?" Ben asked Hermione.

"Within the last hundred years," Hermione said as books soared and started piling up on Ben's desk, "Wow.

"Welcome to the power of magic. Feel free to take them over to those tables and explore," Ben stated.

Harry aided Hermione in grabbing books and then sat down next to her. "What are you looking for specifically? More SPEW?"

"Actually, yes. I wanted to learn what House Elf rights are here in America," Hermione told him.

Harry smiled, "Never change, Hermione."

After taking a shower, Harry ventured down to the Community kitchen in their resident hall to find Hermione after she had bought food for them and said she missed cooking. Before he even reached the door to open it, the scent of something burning wafted through the air and hit his nose. Opening the door, he walked in to see Hermione waving her hand frantically, trying to get rid of the smoke in the air that was filling the kitchen before the smoke detector went off. Harry smiled, taking in her quickly frizzing hair, flour on her face that was clearly overwhelmed.

She looked up and saw him in the doorway, "Maybe I should just stick to spells and potions," Hermione said dejectedly as he sealed the door and cleared the smoke with his wand, "I don't think cooking is my forte."

Harry grinned as he walked into the kitchen, "I keep telling you, cooking is just like potions." In the kitchen, he saw flour burnt onto a pan, a pot of water boiled over, and flour scattered along the floor like bits of snow. "What were you trying to make?"

Hermione huffed, "Toad in the Hole. I figured how could I screw it up, and I did."

"Hermione, you know that you aren't the best at cooking. Why do you go difficult?" Hermione glared at him, "I'm just saying, start simple. Did we start with the draught of living death or simple potions?"

Hermione sighed as he cleaned up her mess with his wand, "Simple."

"What is left? Oh, we can still make Toad in the Hole. There is some left, enough for us," Harry said, "Slice up the onions. You need to do that first."

Together, they sliced up the onions, Hermione casting a bubblehead charm on them after they started getting teary-eyed. Harry touched her bubble, popping it, "Sorry I popped your bubble." Hermione laughed as Harry put the remaining sausages in the pan and put them into the oven, "Wait, oven? I thought you had to do that on the stove!"

"You can, but I learned why waste another pan when you just have to wash it up?" Harry stated as he looked around, "For the pudding, get three glasses."

Hermione grabbed three glasses from the cupboard and handed them to him.

"Measure out equal amounts of milk, eggs, and flour," Harry instructed.

Hermione glanced up at him as she cracked the eggs one by one into the glass, "How do you find this so easy but struggle with potions?"

Harry looked at her sheepishly, "It was more Snape, than it was me not understanding, and Ron."

Pouring the flour and eggs into a bowl, Harry beat them together, then added the milk, "Now it has to chill to set up a bit. Then we add salt, baking powder, and horseradish if you want."

Sitting down together at the table after it was all done, Harry smiled, "Thanks for making this. Reminds me of Hogwarts."

Hermione pouted, "It was mostly you. I wish cooking came that easy for me."

Harry took her hand, "We will make you a five-star chef before you get married so your husband doesn't starve."

Hermione snorted, "Won't be Ron."

Harry bit his lip, "Is it bad of me that I am glad if you two don't end up together?"

Hermione looked at him, surprised, "Really?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably, "Not that I don't… it's not that I didn't want you two to work out. Having both my friends happy and in love would be awesome," Harry admitted. "It's just that I didn't want you two to force yourselves together because it was convenient and comfortable."

Hermione bit her lip, "What's the difference between you and Ginny?"

"While it is comfortable between us, we want to be there for each other, but we know we can't be with each other constantly. We are perfectly happy seeing each other once a month and talking on the phone between us right now. We aren't thinking of rushing to get married by any means. I want a family, but I couldn't imagine having one in the next five years. While I cannot wait to have kids, they aren't a priority right now and aren't for her either. That's why we work and, never mind," Harry said, shaking his head.

"No, what?" Hermione inquired, leaning on her arm and listening intently.

Harry sighed, "We work sexually, too."

Hermione sat up, "Oh! Well, I guess that matters."

Harry squeezed her hand, "When you find that person, sex shouldn't be boring, right? The spark and fire should be there."

Hermione clenched her hand in his, feeling the electricity flowing through her whenever Harry touched her, and sighed, "Yeah, I would assume so."

*~*~* February 14, 2000 *~*~*

"Harry!"

Hermione froze as she and Harry were leaving their last class for the day. Harry turned and saw Ginny, "Ginny?!"

Ginny lept into Harry's arms, and Harry twirled her, "What are you doing here?" Harry asked after he kissed her.

"It's Valentine's Day, and coach gave us until Wednesday off, so I asked Kingsley for a Portkey," Ginny said as she kissed him again, then looked over to his left, "Hey, Hermione."

"Hey Ginny, how are you?" Hermione asked as Ginny hugged her.

"Busy, still on the second string, but practices go well, so never know when my chance to play in a game may come," Ginny told her as she wound her arm around Harry's waist, "So where were you heading next?"

"I'm finished with my classes," Hermione told her, "Harry was heading to work."

Ginny looked at him, "You work?"

Harry nodded, "Both Hermione and I have jobs. I work at the restaurant three days a week for extra money."

Ginny looked at Hermione, "A bookstore?"

Hermione blushed, "The library. I work the evening shift, so I get a lot of studying done between patrolling my floor," Hermione looked at her watch, "I have a few hours before work. We could hang out or check in on Luna?"

"No, I think I'll go with Harry and just hang out if I can," Ginny told her as she looked at Harry, "Is that okay?"

"As long as you order something, I can't see them saying anything," Harry told her, kissing the top of her head, "See you later tonight, Hermione."

"Nah, I'll see you tomorrow," Hermione said, giving Harry a look.

"Are you sure?" Harry frowned.

"Yeah, enjoy your Valentine's Day," Hermione told them as Ginny grabbed her hand.

"Ron is sorry and regrets it all," Ginny told her.

Hermione sighed, "Has he seen her since?"

Ginny looked at the floor, "Yeah, they are seeing each other."

"So he doesn't regret it much," Hermione stated as she walked away and walked to the elevator to take her down to the ground floor.

Walking out of the building, she pulled her jumper closer to her, wishing she had also grabbed her coat. Closing her eyes, she disapparated into Harry's dorm room, grabbing her things and stuffing them into her bag. She tried not to cry as she shrunk her blanket into her backpack.

"Why are you moving out?" Hermione jumped, dropping her bag and grabbing her chest, "Shit, Josh, don't do that to me!"

Josh walked over to Harry's desk and watched her grab her things, "Why are you taking all traces of yourself out of here? You and Harry fight?"

"No, Ginny is here," Hermione explained as Josh's eyes widened, "And I don't want to explain why all my stuff is here in Harry's dorm and not my own."

Josh stared at her, "She doesn't know you stay here?"

"No, and Ginny tends to get very jealous. She is only here briefly, and I work late tonight. I guess I'll just go to my dorm," Hermione told him.

"Use the extra bed that was Jeremy's tonight," Josh said as he held his hand up, "I know ya'll have nightmares. Honestly, I don't care. I sleep with earplugs anyway since I'm used to being so quiet in the country. It's honestly too loud here for me."

Hermione bit her lip, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's just for a night or two. I promise not to make a move on you," Josh joked, "You don't have to worry about me, sweetheart. I don't play for your team if you catch my drift."

"What do you… oh," Hermione said, surprised, "I didn't realize."

Josh shrugged, "I don't exactly advertise it. It's acceptable here, but not back home as much."

Hermione glanced around the room, followed Josh into his own, and sat down on Jeremy's former bed, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Back home," Josh told her with a smile, "His name is Dane. We've been together since our Junior year. On weekends that ya'll home to England, I take the ME to see him."

Hermione took her pillow and blanket out of her backpack and then lay on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. "Josh, are there therapists here for wizards?" Hermione asked, looking over at him.

"Oh yeah, want me to call up mine for you?" Josh asked, taking his phone out, "Do you have one back home?"

Hermione shook her head, "No, but Harry did have a mind healer he saw after the war for a bit. It helped him with his nightmares and working through things. I think it's time I worked through some of my issues."

Josh put his cell phone to his ear, "Hey Maria, it's Josh. I have a friend who was wondering when your next appointment is." Josh looked at Hermione, "She just had a cancellation."

Hermione sat up, "Today?"

"In 30 minutes, it's here in the Village," Josh explained, "You could make it there."

"Um, sure?" Hermione said, surprised.

"Her name is Hermione Granger," Josh informed his therapist, "Alright, thanks Maria." Josh said, "Come on, I'll walk you there."

Hermione found herself on a comfortable couch about a mile from her dorm, where the room smelt of roses and the room's heat was comfortable.

"Thank you for coming to see me today, Hermione. Please remember whatever is said here, does not leave this room," Maria said as she sat down in a chair across from Hermione, "I'm Maria Huntington. Before we start, I want you to just take in this room. This will be the room we are meeting in. Would you like some water?"

Hermione swallowed hard, "Yes, please."

She removed her wand and filled the glass, "Here you go."

"Thank you," Hermione said as she sipped from the glass and saw the water quiver.

"Please don't be nervous. This first session is all up to you. If you get uncomfortable, we can stop. I am here to support you," Maria informed her.

Hermione swallowed hard.

"Is it a struggle to be here for you?" Maria asked.

Hermione ran her tongue over her bottom lip before biting it, "It needs to be done."

"Why?" Maria asked.

"I'm tired of living my life in limbo," Hermione admitted, "For years, it's been throwing myself into my studies and just going from moment to moment in my life. Living by the moment. I have my routine, and I have to stick by it."

"What made that change?" Maria asked.

"I've been having nightmares for years, but they take over my life lately if I don't stay with my best friend. We both have nightmares, but mine are somehow worse than his," Hermione told her.

"In his dorm?" Maria asked, surprised.

"I know we aren't supposed to, but he has a private room, and his dormmate doesn't care," Hermione explained.

"No judgment here, Hermione. What made you reach out to me?" Maria asked.

"His girlfriend, one of my good friends, came in town today to be with him for Valentine's Day. I felt like I was having a panic attack just thinking I couldn't stay there tonight," Hermione admitted.

"Don't you have a dorm?" Maria asked.

"I do, but my dormmates remind me of the girls at school too much. I'm not comfortable there," Hermione told her.

"Did they bully you?" Maria asked, writing something down in her notebook.

Hermione scoffed lightly, "Everyone did, but Harry. I wasn't pretty enough or fashionable enough for Lavender and Parvati. Only Eloise was nice to me, but her father pulled her from our school in the sixth year after things started to get bad."

"When did the nightmares start for you?" Maria asked.

"First year, but they weren't bad. The second year, they got a bit worse. In my third year, it was from stress because I was taking too many classes. My fourth year was the first year they were about someone else," Hermione told her.

"Who, if you don't mind me asking?" Maria asked.

"Harry," Hermione told her.

"What happened in your nightmares about him?" Maria asked.

Hermione pulled at her jumper, "He would die, and I couldn't save him. That's what most of my nightmares are about."

"Tell me a bit about Harry," Maria asked her.

Hermione stared at her, "Do you know who Harry is?"

"Possibly, but I want to hear about him from you," Maria told her, "When did you two meet?"

Hermione sat back and sighed, "I met him on the train to Hogwarts, but I thought I knew him before that. He was a wizard about my age, supposedly saving the world as a mere baby. He inspired me to be the best. If he could do that as an infant, I had to catch up."

"So he challenged you?"

"I guess you could say that, but he was nothing like that when I met him," Hermione explained.

"How so?" Maria asked, interested.

Hermione stared at her, "Everything that I say is private. Nothing leaves this room?"

"Nothing unless you want to harm yourself," Maria told her.

"Harry was abused his whole childhood," Hermione stated as she blinked back tears and looked at the ceiling, clearing her throat, "He was hit and neglected for far too long. So when I had this image of him when I started Hogwarts and saw him in person, something… happened that day. I can't explain it. I don't understand it."

"How so?" Maria asked.

"He was skinny, far skinnier than he should have been, and was wearing clothes four sizes too big for him," Hermione said, closing her eyes to see him in her mind from that day, "His glasses were broken, and my first thought was I needed to take care of him."

"Like a mother that you knew he didn't have?" Maria asked.

Hermione opened her eyes, "Like a friend I never had before. I thought I had screwed it up, too, because he seemed to ignore me for Ron. When I put on the sorting hat, that's how we are sorted into our houses at Hogwarts. It wanted me to be put in Ravenclaw. I told it no, I wanted to be in Gryffindor."

"Why did you want that change?" Maria asked.

"Because Ron mentioned to Harry that's where his family was, and he was making friends with Harry, so I wanted to be there too," Hermione told her as she groaned, "I sound like an obsessive person, but I wasn't, really I wasn't! I just felt a connection to him for some reason."

"How soon do you estimate that you became actual friends?" Maria asked her.

"He seemed to want to talk to me, but Ron was so cruel back then and called me names and made fun of me. Harry never said anything about me himself," Hermione explained, "Ron was the catalyst for our friendship ironically by making fun of me and saying no one could stand me. I ran and hid in a bathroom crying for hours because Harry heard him."

"Did Harry come to you?" Maria asked.

"He knew somehow I was in there, and a troll got into the school," Hermione explained.

"A troll?" Maria asked, surprised.

"It was a Mountain Troll that our professor let into the school. It's a long story for a different time, but Harry and Ron came to find me to warn me. They accidentally locked it in the bathroom with me but saved me from it. We became friends, the three of us, after that. Our first near-death experience together that we survived," Hermione told her.

"How many times were you in those situations together?" Maria inquired.

Hermione swallowed hard, "Too many to count, but we had each other and could depend on each other then. Harry never left my side once, and I never left his."

"But Ron did?"

Hermione looked up surprised, "I didn't say that."

"But you implied it," Maria told her.

Hermione sighed, "Twice, well now three times."

"Did the third time happen recently?" Maria inquired.

"He cheated on me," Hermione told her sadly as she rubbed her chest when the pain started again.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you," Maria said, holding a tissue out for her.

Hermione wiped her eyes when she realized she was crying, "I feel so stupid crying over him yet again."

"Do you feel like you can't depend on him like you can, Harry?" Maria asked.

"No, I can't. I can't lose him, though. He and Harry are… my lifeline. They keep me centered. They let me be me. Well, Harry does. That was the issue Ron and I had. He was trying to make me into his mother," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"And that's not what you wanted?" Maria asked.

Hermione laughed, "She was a stay-at-home mum of seven who was judgmental. She lives to interfere in her children's lives and keep them that. Ron will never grow up until he severs the umbilical cord."

"Is that his big issue? Her?" Maria asked.

"She doesn't help, but he is so insecure and spoiled that he wants me to be a stay-at-home wife and Mum. I can't be that," Hermione told her.

"What would Harry want?" Maria asked her.

"For me to be happy. But he is with Ginny, so what I want doesn't matter to him," Hermione told her as she realized what she said, "Where did that come from?"

"Who is Ginny?" Maria asked.

"Harry's girlfriend, Ron's sister. She and Harry have been together for almost two years," Hermione told her.

"Are you friends with Ginny?" Maria asked.

"Of course, best friends? Not really, but I stayed with Ron and his family part of every summer, and Ginny and I got close sharing a room," Hermione told her.

"Jealousy is natural. Are you jealous of Harry and Ginny's relationship?" Maria asked.

Hermione stared at her, "What do you mean?"

"Do you wish you were her?" Maria asked.

"She is beautiful, smart and witty. Before she was with Harry, she had many boyfriends. If she and Harry weren't together, I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem being with anyone," Hermione told her.

"And you aren't those things?" Maria asked.

Hermione laughed bitterly, "No, Ron and I got together after I had feelings for him for years. It was an emotional kiss because we thought we were about to die, and then he asked me to be his girlfriend if we survived. We did, and we were together for over a year."

"But you've never had feelings for Harry?" Maria asked.

"I can't have feelings for Harry," Hermione told her.

"Why not?" Maria questioned.

"Because, because he is Harry. I can't ruin that," Hermione explained.

"Why would feelings for him ruin your friendship?" Maria asked.

"I can't lose him. I can't let feelings for him ruin that. I…" Hermione grabbed at her chest as the tightness started again.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Maria asked.

"Just a panic attack," Hermione said, holding her finger up. She put her head between her knees and breathed slowly as she tried to calm down.

"Do these happen much?" Maria asked as she came over next to Hermione, "I'm coming up next to you."

Hermione slowly breathed, trying to calm down, "Not as much lately."

"Lately? Why? Did they happen more in the past?" Maria asked.

Hermione nodded as she slowly sat up, "Harry helps keep them at bay and keeps the nightmares away. That's why I wanted to come. With Ginny here, I can't use Harry like that."

"Do you feel like you are using him?" Maria asked.

"Of course I am. I would fall to pieces without him," Hermione said, wiping her tears away angrily.

Maria got up and walked to her door, "Could you reschedule my next appointment, please?"

Hermione swallowed hard as she sat beside her, "Why did you do that?"

Maria smiled at her, "Because I know you need me more now, and I'm here for you."

*~*~* March 11, 2000 *~*~*

"It's been nearly a month. Have you been doing the homework I gave you?" Maria asked as Hermione settled into her office.

Hermione let out a breath as she set her journal down, "Yes. I wrote down every moment I felt out of control of my emotions and what I thought may have triggered it."

"How many moments were there?" Maria asked.

Hermione swallowed hard as she opened her journal, "15."

"How many nightmares?" Maria asked.

"Ten nights," Hermione told her, shutting the journal.

"Any of those during the nights you spent with Harry?" Maria asked.

Hermione shook her head, "No, most happened while I was in Australia."

"Australia?" Maria asked, surprised, "You do look very tan."

Hermione sat back against the couch, "My parents live there. For Spring break, I went there for a few days."

"I'm glad you had a chance to spend time with them. Were you planning to spend your Spring break with them?" Maria asked.

"No, but…" Hermione trailed off.

"Safe space, Hermione," Maria reminded her.

Hermione let a shaky breath, "Ginny plays for the Holyhead Harpies in England. She had a week off and came to spend it with us here. It was too much for me for some reason. When my last class ended, I got an International Portkey and went to see my parents."

"That is a fair bit of traveling by Portkey," Maria said, surprised.

"Harry and I did it before, and we go home once a month. It's nothing compared to traveling to Australia. Single travel is much better, though," Hermione said, picking at a piece of lint on her pants.

"What did Harry do for Spring Break?" Maria asked.

"Went back to England with Ginny and Luna," Hermione sighed, "I couldn't."

"Because of Ron?" Maria asked.

Hermione nodded, "I haven't been back home since January."

"You didn't go in February with Harry?" Maria asked, and Hermione shook her head, "Why is that?"

"I don't want to see him. He is still with her," Hermione told her, "It will just remind me I'm not good enough. That I couldn't even keep my best friend."

"Is that what Ron was? Your best friend?" Maria asked.

"I thought he was. Harry is my BEST friend, and so is Luna, but I thought Ron was too, but how can he keep hurting me like he does if he is?" Hermione asked.

"He's hurt you before?" Maria asked.

Hermione nodded, "Too many times. It goes back to his immaturity. It is usually me stuck in the crosshairs taking the brunt of it."

"Has Harry ever hurt you?" Maria inquired.

"Once," Hermione closed her eyes, "Only once on purpose."

"How?" Maria asked, moving forward in her chair.

"Third year, he got a broom. We didn't know that his godfather was innocent and thought he was trying to find Harry to kill him. Harry received a broom in the mail, which didn't say who it was from. So I told our Head of House, and it was confiscated to check for curses. He was so mad at me," Hermione said as her voice quivered, "I was just trying to keep him safe. It was one of the only times I used my time turner that year for non academic purposes. God," Hermione groaned as she ran her hand over her face, "I sound so obsessive with Harry."

"It is not obsessive. You care about him, Hermione," Maria told her, "And it doesn't sound like he had anyone to care about him from what you have told me."

"No, he didn't. So many people don't realize that," Hermione sighed.

"Spring break is over after this weekend. Is Harry back?" Maria asked.

Hermione shook her head, "No, to my knowledge, he isn't. I haven't gone back to the dorm yet. I only got back earlier and came here first thing. I don't believe that he is, though."

"Why do you say that? Will he contact you?" Maria asked.

Hermione shifted in her seat and slowly looked up at her, "I think… I would feel it if he was back."

Maria looked at her, "How?"

Hermione toed the ground, "I don't know if it is common here; it's not in England, and I think I'm the only one who feels it. Harry and I are magically linked in a way."

"How so?" Maria asked.

"It was explained to me that we are magically compatible. That because of all the situations we have been in and our closeness, we are comparable in our magic as well, so my magic searches out for him," Hermione said as Maria looked interested, "Again, I don't think he feels it. Still, I feel and see his magic reaching out to mine. Almost like Sparks, and mine does the same to him. When mine does, he has felt it but thought it was just static electricity."

Maria sat back, "I've never met someone that has experienced that. It's documented but rare."

"A professor told me that it is my magic, believing he is my soulmate," Hermione told her.

"It is your magic reaching out to him in compatibility when they are at magical maturity. Whoever you end up romantically with could also be compatible with you after a time. It could also be why you don't have the nightmares with Harry," Maria theorized, "I have something I want you to try. I know you said you work in the library, but I want you to find an outlet for some of your anxiety and extra energy. A way to exhaust your magical core in a way. Have you ever tried running?"

"For fun?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"Yes, I enjoy it as it gives me time to clear my thoughts," Maria told her, "Find some music you enjoy and listen to while you jog. Central Park is a popular location for running, and Washington, though not as big. There is also a gym for the students as well."

Hermione bit her lip, "I will think about trying it."

*~*~* April 1, 2000 *~*~*

Hermione wiped her brow as she jogged through Washington Square Park and saw down on a bench for a rest. She nearly jumped out of her skin as someone walked over and sat beside her.

"Well, hello there, gorgeous."

Hermione took in the man's dark hair beside her in disbelief, "George?!"

"Hi, Hermione," George said as she threw her arms around his neck, and he laughed, "Missed me that much?"

"What did you do to your hair?" She asked in disbelief.

George ran his hand through his hair, "I needed a change. I could barely keep up with you. When did you start running?"

"Recently, it has kept my mind off things, and I'm sleeping better. Why are you here?" Hermione asked, taking his hand.

"You, actually. You mentioned the joke shoppe idea for here in New York, and I thought I'd check out the space," George told her as he looked at his watch, "I'm meeting the building owner in an hour."

"We have to have dinner tonight for your birthday!" Hermione said with a smile.

George grinned at her, "Hermione Granger, are you asking me on a date? Moving on from my brother that fast?"

Hermione hit him with a laugh, "Stop it. I know you are with Angelina anyway."

"You are no fun," George said, laughing, "Ronnie is an idiot."

Hermione sighed, "I can't make him grow up, George. Only he can do that."

"He hates Auror training. Mum is worried about him. He goes out with Jenna drinking then comes home drunk," George told her, shaking his head, "He needs to pull his head out of his arse and realize he lost the best thing that could have ever happened to him."

Hermione bit her lip, "George, there is more to it. We weren't working even without her."

George frowned, "Ron seemed so happy."

"He was, but I wasn't. It was part of the reason I said no to the proposal," Hermione told him, "He wanted me to be your Mum."

George stared at her and laughed, "You be Mum? Merlin's beard, if there are two witches completely different, it would be you two!"

"It was a source of issues between us. I felt he was trying to change me into something I couldn't. He wants someone he can marry and have many children who will cook, clean, and not work. I can't be that," Hermione explained.

"Again, an idiot. You are Hermione Granger, future Minister of Magic. Of course, you won't be Mum," George told her.

"I doubt I'll go anywhere in the Ministry, but still, I don't ever plan on being a stay-at-home, Mum," Hermione explained.

George looked at his watch and stood up, "I want to take you up on the dinner offer. Where do you want to meet?"

Hermione pointed down the park to the tall building over the trees, "See that building? That's our resident hall. After you finish your meeting, meet me at dorm 302."

"Is there a key to get in?" George asked.

Hermione shook her head, "No, just go to 302 and ring the doorbell."

George hugged her, "It's so good to see you, Hermione."

Hermione held onto him and rubbed his back, "It's good to see you too. Now go kick some arse and get you a second location."

George winked as he walked off opposite her as she jogged back to Lipton Hall. Riding the elevator up to Harry's floor. She opened the door and stepped inside, glancing into Harry's room to see he wasn't there. She knocked on the frame of Josh's room, and he looked up at her, "I'm going to take a shower. Need to use the loo before I do?"

"No, thanks for asking. Shit, Granger, you look amazing. I know you said Maria said it would help, sure is," Josh said with a grin, "Need a running partner? I need to work on my figure."

Hermione laughed, "Sure, Josh, I'll let you know next time I go for a run."

Hopping in the shower, Hermione hummed with the radio as she showered.

"I take my chance on a beautiful stranger. I looked into your eyes, and my world came tumblin' down. You're the devil in disguise, that's why I'm singin' this song," Hermione sang along to Madonna as she turned the water off.

Drying herself off, she slid her underwear and bra on and then combed her hair. Wrapping her towel around her hair, she walked back into Harry's room and yelped when she saw him sitting on his bed, "Harry! Sorry, I didn't know you were back."

Harry frowned as he approached her, "You are getting skinny again."

"I've been running. It's not an unhealthy skinny," Hermione told him as she opened a drawer to pull a jumper out and found a skirt to wear.

"You've been running?" Harry asked, surprised.

Hermione nodded, "It helps clear my head. It's been too much between taking an extra class each semester, working, and everything with Ron. Running has helped."

"I'm glad," Harry said as he watched Hermione look into the mirror and apply makeup, "And you are wearing makeup?!"

Hermione grinned, "I have a date tonight," She told him, trying not to smile.

Harry frowned, "You do? With who?"

"It's his birthday, so I invited him to dinner to celebrate," Hermione said, rubbing her lips together, "How do I look?"

"Good, where are you going?" Harry asked, concerned.

"Figured we would try that Italian restaurant we saw the other day," Hermione told him as the doorbell rang, "He is here!"

Hermione exited the bedroom and opened the door, "How'd it go?"

"I got it!"

Harry exited his room as Hermione launched herself at the man, who hugged her. "Hello."

George looked at Harry, "I probably should have asked you first, Harry, since you are part owner too."

Harry frowned, "Shit, George? What are you doing here?"

Hermione grinned as she looked at Harry, "He came here to look at that building we saw in the MEWS, and he got the location."

Harry groaned, "Today is your birthday. Hermione, here I thought it was a real date!"

Hermione laughed, "We are going out to dinner. Want to join us?"

"Shit, let me change," Harry said as he went back into his room.

George snorted, "You told him it was a date? No wonder he came out like he wanted to murder me. I'm surprised that look didn't kill Moldy Voldy by itself."

"Harry is just protective over me," Hermione explained as she knocked on the door to Josh's room, "Hey Josh, I want to introduce you to someone."

Josh stood up, "Hello, I'm Josh."

George shook his hand, "George Weasley."

"George is our friend from back home. He owns a joke shoppe and is looking to open a location here in America," Hermione said, "Josh has become a close friend to us this year. He went to Ilvermorny."

"A joke shop? Sounds interesting. Like whoopie cushions and stuff?" Josh asked.

"And so much more," George said with a grin. As Harry opened his door, George walked over to it and looked around, "Much bigger than I thought it would be."

"I'm lucky that I got a single," Harry said as he sat on the couch to put his trainers on, "It's bigger now that Luna is staying in her new dorm. We used to expand the couch every night for her."

"How is she?" George asked as he noticed books on one side of the bed with a hairbrush. Small touches that screamed Hermione stayed here often.

"She loves the program. She met Newt's grandson when he was over here," Hermione told him as she walked over to the desk, grabbed her purse, and then grabbed her cell phone off the charger, "She has her explorers group tonight, or I'd ask her to join. Neville was here last week visiting." Hermione looked at Harry, "Where were they going?"

"Upstate New York looking for some Hidebehind or something. She said it was a rare creature only in the New England area," Harry explained as he grabbed his wallet, "Got everything?"

Hermione opened her purse, and Harry put his phone in it, "Let's go."

George stared at them, "Hermione's living here, isn't she?"

They both froze, looking at him. "What? No," Hermione said, shaking her head, "I have my dorm upstairs."

"So your stuff just happens to be in Harry's closet, and you have your table next to his bed?" George asked.

Harry sighed, "Look, don't tell Ginny. I'm not cheating. We wouldn't do that."

"I have nightmares," Hermione sighed, "And for some reason, sleeping next to Harry helps. If they get too bad, he wakes me up. My dormmates get upset with me waking them up, even with silencing charms."

Harry shrugged, "And I got used to sleeping near her and Ron when we were on the run, and like her, no nightmares when we sleep near each other."

George looked at them, "I won't tell Ginny, but eventually you will have to. She was here a few times. She didn't notice?"

"I slept in the extra bed in Josh's room," Hermione explained, "Not that we were hiding it from her. I just thought it would be easier that way."

"Just tell her eventually. I know she gets jealous easily, but she needs to know," George told them.

"We will," Harry assured him as they left the dorm.

a/n: Or will they? So Matt was so sweet! I wish I looked that good as he did, being as exhausted as he said he was. So I have gotten behind on writing. I hope that this week will be easier to write. Updates may becoming every other week if I don't find the time, I have everything outlined so I hope it doesn't come down to that.

For some reason my alerts here aren't coming through

Preview of next week's chapter, Joker and the Queen:

"It's not my story to tell, but when people see Harry Potter, the defeater of Voldemort, the Man that Conquered and before that the Boy Who Lived, they don't see the scared little boy who was neglected and abused, who didn't know love if it hit him in the face because he has never known it," Hermione told her sadly.

"Because he doesn't see that you love him," Maria said.

"Yes," Hermione said as she froze, "No, I mean…"