"Here you all stand witness: Katniss Everdeen has agreed to be our Mockingjay!" Coin announced. I stood in the crowd below, watching her closely. A few pairs of eyes from the people closest to me turned around to stare. Peeta put a protective arm around my shoulder. Really, he was the only thing keeping me together at this point. I hadn't seen Prim in days. She had been scheduled at the most inconvenient times for her shifts at the hospital, and when she wasn't working the District 13 doctors were training her for the promotion that she deserved. "As a gracious gift from us to our Mockingjay, I have decided to grant full pardon to the fellow Victors in the Capitol."
An outraged cry went up from the crowd. It really didn't surprise me. Just yesterday, there had been another mandatory broadcast that had not painted any of my comrades in a good light.
"Here I am once again," Caesar Flickerman announced as his theme played in the background, "With some of our most favorite Victors. I have with me today Gloss from District 1, the Victor of the 63rd Annual Hunger Games. Next to him is Britt of District 4 from the 68th Annual Hunger Games, and of course we have our own favorite Capitol romancer, Finnick of District 4, Victor of the 65th Annual Hunger Games." The crowd applauded for each of the three Victors. I ignored the first question Caesar asked them. I stood rigidly in the crowd, my eyes scanning every inch of Finnick that I could see on the small, grainy screen, hoping to find some sort of confirmation that he was going to be fine.
I saw nothing but fidgety hands and dark circles under his eyes.
"Mr. Odair, I understand that this must be difficult for you, in particular. There have been rumors circulating of late that a certain Miss Katniss Everdeen has joined forces with the rebels. What do you have to say to that?"
Finnick cleared his throat. "Who's Katniss Everdeen?" He asked finally. I frowned slightly upon hearing his answer. It was peculiar... He knew well enough he shouldn't be making jokes like that.
Caesar froze briefly before a wide smile erupted on his face. "My apologies, Finnick. My apologies. It's hard for an old man like me to remember these things. I meant to say Katniss Odair, of course."
"An old man, Caesar? You've still got some good years left," Finnick protested, his smooth Capitol mask hiding him easily.
"You're right, Finnick. I'm still in my prime. Now tell me how you feel about being on an opposite team as Katniss Odair."
Finnick laughed. "Caesar, I haven't been on a different team from Katniss since I was nineteen years old."
"Until now you mean?" He asked.
Finnick tilted his head. "No, no not until now. I mean ever. We just haven't had the chance to talk about it, but I'm sure if we could, Katniss would be on my side."
The room I stood in erupted into groans of protest.
Caesar smiled at Finnick. "You mean she would join us here in the Capitol?"
Finnick's smile slid halfway off his face. "I never said that. I'm not on the side of the Capitol. I'm not on the side of the rebellion, either. I'm on the side of peace. Katniss and I... we only got a few short months together in District 4, and I would give anything to go back to that. I want everyone to throw down their weapons and see reason. Both sides have gotten much too carried away with all of this. The unnecessary violence needs to stop, right now. The bloodshed has-"
I couldn't hear the rest of what he was saying as the jeers grew louder and angrier. I watched Caesar turn to question Gloss, and I left the room.
Coin continued, unabashed by the crowd's less than enthusiastic reaction. I had to give her credit—she was not easily swayed. And she took the blame for my unpopular stance. Even though I disagreed with her on many fronts, it was easy to see why the rebels wanted her leading them. "This will include the full pardon of Finnick Odair–" the crowd cried out once again, and Coin was forced to raise her voice over them. "Finnick Odair, Gloss Beckham, Britt Lee, Clove Kentwell, Zahra Avlis, and Johanna Mason."
I let out a breath. She did it. There was no going back now, for either of us.
My costume needed adjustments. Effie showed me a file full of Cinna's ideas for my Mockingjay wardrobe, all of them including skin-tight jumpsuits or dark armor. I don't think Cinna anticipated my husband impregnating me so soon after our wedding, because the measurements were months old and there was no way a suit that tight would fit over my swollen belly.
So two days later, I stood in my costume that Effie had made for me, my mouth moving silently as I committed my lines to memory.
"Whenever you're ready, Miss Ev... Mrs. Odair," Plutarch corrected himself. I nodded and set down the script. Effie pulled a lock of hair out from behind my ear and lightly prodded me into their makeshift studio.
"Alright," Plutarch's voice came over the speakers as he directed from the booth. "I want you to start in a crouch, and then rise to stand just as you are now. You're going to hold up the flag, give it a count of two, then say your line." I nodded in confirmation, and knelt down on the ground. The fans began to blow softly, the loose hairs sticking out of my braid fluttered neatly around my face. "Three... two... whenever you're ready."
I stood and hoisted the stick in my right hand. I counted to two silently. "Panem, we fight we... die... we..." I shook my head, dropping my arm.
"Do you know the line?" Plutarch asked impatiently.
"Yeah... Yeah, sorry. I know it." I shook my head in irritation. I wasn't an actress. When I signed up for this, I thought they would use old footage or something. I definitely didn't think I would be stuck in this stuffy studio for several hours a day, which is what I began to think this might be.
I crouched down again. Plutarch gave me the cue to begin. Taking a deep breath, I stood once again. This time, I got halfway through my line before I was interrupted again.
Someone was clapping. "And that is how a revolution dies," Haymitch's patronizing tone echoed through the chamber. I dropped my flag pole with a clatter. I didn't want any weapons in my hands when I reunited with Haymitch. Despite everything he's done for me... he still left Finn– I tore my mind away from those thoughts before I fell down a rabbit hole I was doomed to be trapped in.
"Good afternoon, Haymitch," I said monotonously. I exited the glass room. "Have you finally recovered from withdrawal?" I asked him.
"It's only been a few weeks, Sweetheart," he told me. "I haven't recovered from anything."
I rolled my eyes.
He looked me over carefully, his eyes resting for a moment on my belly. I wrapped my arms around myself protectively, daring him to say something. He did anyway. "You know, even I thought you were faking it." I glared at him, but he continued. "Unless this is just from stress eating, which is-"
I cut him off by punching him squarely in the face.
"Katniss!" Effie exclaimed. I shook my head in annoyance but said nothing. I had been wanting to hit Haymitch for some time.
He recovered quickly, holding his sleeve against his gushing nose. I wouldn't be surprised if it was broken. I know how hard I hit him. "How about everyone takes a seat and we discuss this civilly."
I sat next to Effie as Haymitch stood at the front of the room. "So clearly this isn't working for us," he began.
"Well it has to," Plutarch said. "We need our Mockingjay."
"So let's find something that will work." Haymitch said. "Let's compile a list of every time you have genuinely felt moved by something Katniss has said or done. Not when Peeta or Finnick or anyone else has made her look good for the cameras, I mean a time when you have been moved by her."
After a moment, a few hands went up. Haymitch called on a woman in a military uniform. "Her romance with Finnick in the arena," She suggested. "The way they were willing to do anything to protect each other."
Haymitch considered this. "Good, but try to stay away from her romance. I know that it's a big part of why so many of us support her and this cause, but Finnick isn't here anymore."
"Don't invoke his name," I said quietly. Everyone looked at me. "And stop pretending he's dead."
Haymitch raised his eyebrows, ignoring me. "Alright, any other ideas?"
All the other hands had gone down. Except Effie. "The way she volunteered for Prim, even though she shouldn't have been able to. Oh, and when she protected and cared for her friends in her first Games."
Haymitch smiled. "Good. She protects those weaker than herself. And isn't that what this rebellion is all about? Protecting our children from the Games?"
Caspian raised his hand. I forgot he was there, and I blushed at the way I had reacted to them talking about his brother. "She pulled out the berries in the arena. I feel like that's a big one, too."
Haymitch nodded. "Exactly. And what do those three things have in common? Besides the Hunger Games."
"No one forced it to happen," Caspian said.
"Unscripted," Haymitch agreed.
Coin frowned. "So what? You want to drop her in the middle of a war zone? I can't risk that. We need her alive for the time being."
I leaned forward. "I hate to agree, but Coin is right. I'm not going into any sort of battlefield. I'm not doing anything more to risk this baby's life."
"I was thinking we could send you somewhere quieter, where there hasn't been a war in a while." Haymitch reasoned.
"District 8," Plutarch suggested. "There's a hospital there, but there hasn't been any sort of action in days. The rebels have complete control."
"I am not doing anything more to risk this baby's life," I reiterated, standing.
"Katniss, it's perfectly safe," Plutarch argued. I opened my mouth to repeat myself once more, but Caspian interrupted.
"No, she's right," He said, moving to stand next to me. "That's my nephew she's carrying. I know Finnick's still alive, and I know he's coming back but..." He cleared his throat. "But it's my responsibility to protect his wife and unborn child while he's away." Caspian rested an arm around my shoulders and I felt myself lean into him, trying to stop the uncontrollable trembling. The arena was traumatic enough for the little life I carried. Now they wanted to put my child through more of the same? I would never allow it. "Come find us when you've found a solution that doesn't put my family at risk," Caspian told them, pulling me out of the room.
I was certain the entire district was awake with me as I screamed. No one was permitted in the room with me besides Prim and the midwife, but that didn't mean they couldn't hear me.
It had come as a surprise to all of us when my water broke four and a half months early. I was immediately rushed to the hospital portion of District 13. Prim didn't think I was at any sort of risk, but both medical professionals with me were very scared for my baby.
It was three hours of labor, and as soon as my baby was out and cut loose, they were pulled away from me.
Peeta was allowed in as Prim carried her niece or nephew away urgently.
"Peeta," I whispered.
"It's going to be okay, Katniss," He told me.
I shook my head desperately. "You don't know that."
"Katniss, breathe," he told me. I looked up at him anxiously. Where was Prim? When was she bringing my baby back?
After what seemed like eternity, Prim came back out. With no baby.
"Prim-" I whimpered.
She sat next to me. "He's alive, Katniss."
"He?" I repeated.
"A boy," She confirmed. "He's stable, for now. We need to keep him here in the hospital wing for a while. I'm not sure how long."
I nodded slowly, relaxing against the pillow. He was safe. He was alright for today. Tomorrow... I could worry about that later. "Can I see him?" I asked.
Prim nodded and had a wheelchair brought in for me not a minute later. I tried to stand on my own and promptly fell directly onto my sister, who shook her head at me and pushed me gently into the chair. She smiled at my stubbornness to do everything myself. Peeta pushed me from behind and Prim opened the door for us. She escorted us into a dimly lit room, which was absolutely silent besides the scuffle of a nurse working with a female patient on the other end of the hall. The room was lined with sickly looking people, all of them hooked up to machines and wires.
"This is our intensive care wing," Prim whispered to me. She led us over to the smallest machine, up on a pedestal that set it at the height of the average table. It appeared to be a simple glass dome. Inside was the smallest human I had ever seen.
It was the littlest Odair.
I let out a small squeak of surprise. His eyes were closed and he was wrapped in cloth to keep him warm, but already I could identify a miniature version of Finnick's nose peeking out. A tuft of dark hair covered a patch of his scalp. His skin was red and wrinkly, and later I would look back and realize just how much he looked like a rat.
But I thought he was the only cute baby I had seen in my entire life.
"Can I hold him?" I begged quietly.
Prim looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry, Katniss, we can't move him. It's not safe right now."
I nodded slowly, my body shaking once more.
"Did you pick a name?" She asked me, her comforting arm around my shoulders as I gazed at my son.
I swallowed. "Finnick had a few names picked out. He... he wanted it to have meaning. He said he liked the idea of an original first name, and a meaningful middle name. So they could be their own person but still honor someone or something else."
"Do you like that idea?" Prim asked me.
I nodded. "I always thought... I always thought August Caspian would..."
"August," Prim repeated. "That's a handsome name," she told me approvingly. "Should I tell your brother-in-law?"
I blinked. "Oh... yeah. I guess he should be here. It's his nephew, too."
Prim laughed quietly. "Anyone else?"
I considered this, but shook my head. "The rest of them should wait. Just family for today." Prim left me alone with my brother and my son.
Peeta smiled at his little nephew. "August Caspian Odair," he repeated.
Baby Odair is here! Finnick is... not :(
No, he is not named after a Taylor Swift song. No, he is not named after the kid from Wonder. I just thought it was a good name that was different enough to be Hunger Games-esque but not super weird like or something that's wayyy to obvious for a District 4 or 12 baby, like Cole or something.
But Happy New Year and enjoy the last few days of break (if you're still on break)