Star Wars: Troopers Are Bad Shots...Or Are They?
I often think Imperial Stormtroopers are unfairly maligned. A favourite Star Wars/Star Trek fan trope asks the question: What if Imperial Stormtroopers were up against Red Shirts? In the spirit of John Scalzi's Redshirts, I often toy with the idea of writing a crossover parody, shades of Robot Chicken.
Even Obi-Wan had praise for them ("And these blast points, too accurate for Sand People. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise."). It seemed contradictory, i.e. they're superb shots, yet Luke et al escaped from the Death Star despite being vastly outnumbered. It only made sense if they wanted the Rebels to escape.
But this wasn't covered, except by implication, in the movie. So, my muse said, it's time to do something about that.
Give her due credit; she did, finally, help me finish A Question Of Priorities, Redux. My next target is The Haunted Stars. Here's hoping.
Death Star Conference Room
"Yes?" Grand Moff Tarkin inquied of a uniformed Imperial flunky.
"Our scoutships have reached Dantooine," the officer reported. "They've found the remains of a Rebel base, but they estimate that it has been deserted for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding systems." He clicked his heels and left.
Tarkin cursed to himself. He knew the scouts would find nothing. "She lied!" he snapped to Vader. "She lied to us!"
Vader was unsurprised; for all her slight appearance, the Princess had a strength about her. Almost, he mused, as if she knew the Force. "Then we are even in our first exchange of 'truths'," he opined amusedly. "I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion."
But Tarkin was in no mood to be placated. "Terminate her!" he spat. "Immediately!"
In truth Vader was not under Tarkin's authority, considerable as it was. He answered only to the Emperor. Thus Vader had no intention of obeying. Not yet.
But he was just about to soothe Tarkin's ruffled feelings when a call sounded over the intercom. Tarkin answered irritably, "Yes?"
"We've captured a freighter entering the remains of the Alderaan system. Its markings match those of the ship which blasted its way out of Mos Eisley."
"Mos Eisley?" he frowned.
"It is a city on the Outer Rim world of Tatooine," Vader told him, "where the Tantive IV was heading before we intercepted her. It is where she sent the droids in which she placed the Death Star plans. They must be trying to return them to the Princess." He turned thoughtful as an idea occurred to him. "She may yet be of some use to us."
"How so?" Tarkin inquired, curious.
"Doubtless she intended for the plans to be taken to the main Rebel base. So," Vader suggested slyly, "what if she were given an opportunity to do just that?"
intrigued, Tarkin filled in a detail. "Whoever is aboard that ship will discover her presence, if they are not already aware of it, and attempt to rescue her," he mused.
"We can place a homing beacon aboard the ship," Vader agreed. "Once they leave, they will undoubtedly go to the Rebel base...and we can follow them."
"I see," Tarkin applauded. "We can make it convincing by letting them escape. Our troops and TIE Fighters will of course make a token effort to stop them. I have heard from the ISB that some off-duty troopers have complained of restricted vision caused by their helmets - thus despite the Imperial reputation for accuracy, their misses will be understandable." He nodded. "Ingenious. Risky, to release such a high-profile prisoner, but ingenious. Very well," he decided.
Troop Barracks 17-A
Shortly after
The officer in charge of all stormtroopers frowned. "My Lord, I'm not sure I understand. You want them to escape?"
"That is correct. Injuries are permissible, but at all costs they must not be killed. They will rescue the Princess, make their way to the ship and fight off the patrolling TIEs. Thus your troops must employ their storied accuracy to miss them."
Honestly concerned for his men (the Rebels might have welcomed him), the officer pointed out, "My Lord, they won't be shooting to miss. Likely I'll lose several troops and officers."
"Collateral damage," Vader told him coldly. "Immaterial compared with locating and destroying the Rebel base. You have your orders."
"As you command, My Lord," he reported. It seemed the daftest thing he'd ever heard of...until he realised why.
Now it looked like a brilliant strategy.
He gave the requisite orders. His squad leaders, to their credit, didn't question the orders to shoot to miss. One cadre of troops, at the end of the Clone Wars, had queried their orders to kill the Jedi...and had been put to death by Vader. Though they were no longer clones, the stormtroopers just obeyed any orders their superiors gave them.
Docking Bay 327
Just after Vader has 'killed' Obi-Wan
And only Princess Leia realised it, that Vader and Tarkin were letting them escape. But, she decided pragmatically, at least they were escaping.
At least she was leaving the interrogation (read 'torture') droids behind.
Were they playing into Imperial hands? Probably. Almost certainly.
But just as they considered her release worth the price of Imperial officers and TIE Fighters, so she considered leading the Death Star to Yavin 4 worth the risk.
Mind you, she mused, as Captain Solo was covering a grief-stricken Luke, we still have to escape!
"Luke!" she cried. "It's too late!" She too grieved for Obi-Wan, whom she fondly remembered rescuing her at the age of ten, but he'd made the most noble sacrifice, and she prayed Luke wouldn't waste it. Obi-Wan had given his life to distract Vader. She swore he would be honoured.
When they had time!
Solo yelled, "Lock the DOOR, kid!"
Luke came to his senses and did just that. His shot destroyed the control panel, and the blast doors began to close...shutting off Vader and the approaching troops.
But he still had to avenge Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, and Ben, and so, too grief-stricken and enraged to realise (or care about) his peril, he kept firing.
Until a ghostly voice urged, "Run, Luke, RUN!"
He did.
Cockpit of the Milliennium Falcon
Shortly after
"I hope that that old man got that tractor beam outa commission, or this is gonna be a real short trip! Okay, hit it!" Solo ordered his Wookiee co-pilot. The Falcon backed smoothly out of the Docking Bay, executed an equally smooth 180 and her main drive flared.
They were free...for now.
Manipulating controls and keeping a careful eye on his readings, he gunned the Falcon to make her escape.
Not a hint of come-hither, he noted with satisfaction as they passed out of tractor beam range - even the enormous range of that battle station. I guess the old man knew what he was doin' after all. Thanks, pal. We are out of here.
Tractor Beam 7 Control
As she makes her break
He wasn't to know that was deliberate. An Imperial had discovered the sabotage; the tractor beam only appeared to be functional, but in fact it was powered down. It would, of course, be a simple matter to re-energise it - and make the freighter's escape utterly impossible.
He smiled at the thought. No, Lord Vader's plan called for the beam to be inoperable. Thus he would leave it be until they'd passed out of range.
Similarly, TIE Fighter Control received the order: "Do not launch fighters. The four on patrol will suffice. Order them to 'intercept' the freighter."
The Controller was confused, but he supposed his boss knew what he was doing.
Or hoped he did, anyway.
He had thousands of TIE Fighters under his control. A word and they would all launch. One TIE was relatively easy to deal with, especially for that modified YT-1300 whose armament rating was far above that specified by the Corporate Sector Authority and Imperial authorities. A thousand fighters, on the other hand, would be an entirely different matter. Ten thousand would overwhelm even a Star Destroyer.
Millennium Falcon
"We're comin' up on their sentry ships," Solo reported. "Hold 'em off - angle the deflector shields while I charge up the main guns."
The Wookiee complied.
Over the gaming table
Luke was lost in grief. He hadn't known Ben long, but he missed his kindly counsel. Leia approached and gently laid his poncho over his shoulders.
"I can't believe he's gone," Luke murmured. Artoo whistled sadly.
Sympathetic, Leia assured him, "There wasn't anything you could've done."
They were distracted by Solo's arrival. "Come on, buddy, we're not outa this yet!"
As his meaning penetrated, the same cold determination settled over Luke that he'd felt on discovering Owen and Beru murdered. He threw off the poncho and headed down the tube...to one set of the Falcon's main guns, a quad battery.
Payback time, he vowed.
THE END
"Continue with the operation; you may fire when ready."
"WHAT?!"
"You are far too trusting."
"Leave that to me."
"You're a damn fool, I knew you were gonna say that!"
"Who is the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?"
"Quick, we've got to get across! Find the control that extends the bridge!"
"Uh, I think I just blasted it."
"Help! I think I'm melting! This is all your fault!"
"So. You got your reward, and you're just leaving, then?"
"That's right, yeah. I got some old debts I gotta pay off with this stuff. Even
if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do you?"
- Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope