A/N- The site randomly deleted this, so reposting it.

New story

Like all my stories, not too much action, mostly romance with some humour.

Some events and backstories are changed.

Enjoy and review!

Prologue

A distant future…

Voldemort walked through the neighbourhood with a self-assured stride. There was no one awake, not that it would have mattered anyway. He was here with a task in mind, which he would take care of tonight.

His minions had alerted him of a prophecy which stated that the one who would vanquish him would be a child. And said child lived here. It was some girl who was around a year old, born to a muggleborn couple.

How ironic! The one fated to vanquish him, Voldemort, was a mudblood? This would not be allowed to stand. So ludicrous was the prophecy that the Dark Lord had personally decided to take care of the thorn in his side.

The child's mother, Lily, was a muggleborn witch with decent skills in magic. Nothing special. Since Severus had begged and pleaded with Tom regarding Lily's life, he would honour that request on a whim and spare the witch.

Probably, if she didn't stand against him.

But the child's father…

"That person is extremely strong for a Mudblood."

He would never forget that man. Naruto Uzumaki. That blonde wizard was perhaps the only one other than Dumbledore who could stand up to Voldemort himself. The man wielded some mysterious magic which even he, at the pinnacle of the magical world, could not understand. He was not from any renowned family, yet he stood at the top.

Solid clones, Wandless attacks, and a frankly ridiculous speed. The blonde was a huge hindrance to Voldemort's plans, and it made sense that his daughter was the one fated to destroy him. The only reason her father hadn't, was that Voldemort managed to Disapparate away again and again.

"I will end that worm for defying me. All those humiliations will be repaid tenfold!"

He had it on good authority that Naruto was away in America for some diplomatic business, being one of the best wizards alive. Which meant that Lily and the child were alone. It rankled Voldemort that he would have to resort to such cowardly tactics, but it was no matter. What mattered was his goal. He would kill that child, both to prevent the prophecy and to see the look of despair on Naruto's face.

Perhaps he should kill his wife too?

Voldemort's eyes shone with malice as he opened the gate to the small house, and felt the Fidelus charm wash over him. It was surprising that a strong wizard such as Naruto had failed to realise that Peter Pettigrew would betray them. The rat had squealed like a… rat and ratted them out immediately to escape his wrath.

Voldemort shook his head at the terrible pun. Even the Dark Lord was prone to whimsy at times. No matter, he had a family to kill.

He saw Lily through the window, and she looked to be rocking her daughter to sleep. Good. Now that they were all in the Fidelus charm, their deaths were assured. No one could apparate in, and no one could Disapparate out. He would have his vengeance today.

Voldemort smiled in sadistic glee and drew his want to blow the door apart. There was no need for subtlety, and he wanted these pests to feel as much fear and despair as possible.

Just as he was about to cast a Blasting Curse, Voldemort stiffened.

Why?

Because there was a hand on his shoulder.

Before he could react, all Tom heard was one sentence, and his world went white.

"Let's take a walk, you bald, ugly, shitty old man."

Naruto hummed in delight as he opened the door to his house. He was feeling particularly chipper, as he had dealt with the main threat to his family, Voldemort. Or, as Naruto liked to call him, ugly baldy.

He had no problems with openly naming Voldemort in public. But everyone else used to freak out, so he switched to 'ugly baldy'. While even more outrageous, it served its purpose. He still didn't understand why people were so scared of him. Naruto had dismantled the guy within minutes of meeting him.

"The only reason he was alive for so long is due to that teleportation ability of his. Slimy bastard, just like that snake sage."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, ugly baldy always managed to just slip by after using his followers as meat shields. Luckily, he was under the Fidelus charm and I managed to get him alone."

Putting those thoughts aside, Naruto walked into his house, a nice little bungalow in Central London. His wife and daughter were inside, safe and sound from the horror that was Voldemort. Why was his family in Central London while the Fidelus charm was cast on some random cottage in the countryside?

Obviously, because that was a decoy. Naruto could sense that the rat Pettigrew would betray them, so it was a perfect trap to lure Voldemort in. The people Tom saw in the window were not his actual family but clones.

"That man was an even bigger idiot than you, Naruto!" Kurama guffawed, clutching his sides in laughter.

"Hey! I'm gonna kick your ass, furball!"

"Honey? Is that you?"

Just as Naruto was about to devolve into a senseless fight with Kurama, he heard a familiar voice from the living room. He smiled softly and went to greet his wife.

"Yes, dear, it's me."

Lily Uzumaki sat on the living room couch, looking just as beautiful as the day they met. In her arms was their one-year-old daughter, Haru. Lily was clutching the toddler close to herself, her face tense with stress. She'd known what her husband was about to do, and she was worried.

She knew Naruto was strong, probably the strongest in the world. But, the heart of a wife was always concerned about the well-being of her husband, and it made her stiff with longing and fear. The sheer relief that flooded her when Naruto walked in unharmed was too much to describe in words.

Gently setting down Haru into her cradle, she bolted over to Naruto and crashed into his chest. Haru, being the curious child she was, picked up a toy and started chewing on it cutely.

"Oof!" Naruto gave a playful wince and tightened his arms around his wife. "I'm okay, Lily. Some weakling like that baldy isn't enough to take me out, ya know!" He puffed out his chest proudly.

Lily sighed in happiness when Naruto started to softly stroke her hair. She loved it when he did that, as she knew that her hair was what first attracted him to her. Then she looked up, locking eyes with him.

Naruto gulped.

"Love, I know you are strong, but I can't help it. Would you not be worried if it were me in your place?"

Naruto nodded vehemently. "Of course! I would be worried sick!" Then, he possessively tightened his arms around her, making her blush slightly.

They relished in each other's embrace for a few minutes, and moved to the couch. Naruto sat near Haru's cradle, and he assumed that Lily would sit across from him.

"E-eh?"

Naruto was surprised, when instead of sitting on the couch, his wife plopped herself in his lap. "Lily?"

"mnnmnmn…" Lily mumbled something inaudible, burying her head in his chest.

"What was that, sweetie?"

Lily looked up at him. She looked adorable. "I was worried sick for you, so you're not going anywhere. We're staying like this." She declared.

Naruto sweatdropped. "I'm assuming it's non-negotiable?"

Lily nodded once. "Hmm, hmm!" she was just as headstrong as her husband.

Naruto sighed and resigned himself to his fate. Maybe he was being dramatic. If he complained about cuddling with his wife on the couch, his mom and Ero-sennin both would come down from heaven and beat him up.

This was a fate he would gladly resign himself to.

"So, how did it go?" Lily asked, making Naruto stop his head pats.

"Ow!" Naruto grunted as Lily pinched his side.

"I didn't say to stop stroking my hair."

"As you command." Naruto smiled wryly and resumed patting her head. She did love it when he stroked her hair.

As they got comfortable, Naruto recounted how his battle had progressed.

Naruto reappeared in a pure orange room, with Voldemort in tow. Since the baldy wasn't used to Hiraishin, he was disoriented. Naruto capitalised on that by punching his stupid face in.

"Aargh!" Tom groaned as he fell to the floor in pain.

"Eww, you look even uglier now, dude! I almost broke your nose… oh wait, you don't have one!" Naruto barked out in laughter, pointing a mocking finger at Voldemort.

"Such insolence!" Voldemort snarled, rose up and drew his wand to end this farce once and for all.

"Where's my wand!"

He wanted to cast a killing curse, but suddenly found his hand empty. Impossible? A disarming spell? But when? Naruto didn't even have his wand drawn. Looking at his attacker, Voldemort found that Naruto did have a wand.

His wand.

Naruto hummed in thought, twirling the wand in his fingers. "I never really understood how you guys rely so much on these sticks, ya know?" Without further comment, he grabbed Voldemort's wand and snapped it in half.

"There, that's better!" Naruto grinned, and just for fun, threw the pieces at Voldemort so that one piece went up each nostril. "Bwahahaha! It suits you, wrinkly bastard!" Naruto cackled madly.

Even Kurama was amused. Without wands, these wizards were as good as useless. And the room which they were in was so heavily laden with seals that any teleportation was impossible. This insect was trapped.

Voldemort saw red at this terrible humiliation. "You craven! You dare defy me? I will burn down your life for this! I will kill your wife and child and make you wa—haahck!"

Tom couldn't finish his sentence, since Naruto was upon him, grabbing his face and slamming it into the ground.

He tried Legilimency, disapparation and all of his arsenal of wandless magic. But Voldemort found that nothing worked.

"You cur! What have you done to my magic!"

"I sealed it, obviously. Are you stupid?" Naruto kicked Voldemort's head again, just to hurt him. This bastard sure as hell deserved it. "Not so strong without your minions or teleportation, are ya?"

"Fool! This will accomplish nothing! Even if you kill me, I will return! I am inevitable!" Voldemort yelled. His magic was not working, and he was in an unfamiliar room. But, even if he died, he still had his Horcruxes. He would return, eventually, and have his vengeance.

"Who said I was gonna kill you?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion. "I know you have some voodoo magic to come back to life."

Voldemort smiled in vindication. "Then you know it is futile! Release me, and I will grant you a quick death."

Naruto blinked. "Release you so you can kill me? Jeez, this guy is not right in the head. Must be all the hard drugs he takes. Why else would his nose get like that, ya know?" He punctuated that insult with another swift kick to the head. Hmm, was he becoming a sadist?

Voldemort roared in humiliation, "Then what is your goal? To torture me until I break! I will never lose to mudblood filth such as you-"

"Enough talk." Naruto cut off the bastard's mad ramblings, and ran through an intricate set of handsigns. "I can't kill you, but I've fought plenty of tenacious bastards who can't die. So, I'll just seal you instead!"

Before Voldemort could retort, two hands slammed into his back.

"Sealing: Eternal Prison of the Death God!"

"Curse: Demonic Soul Spider!"

The two jutsu were Naruto's creations designed specially to take care of this trash. The seal, as its name suggests, sealed the body and soul of the target in Limbo for all eternity. Voldemort would forever be trapped, without any sense of touch, sight, smell or sound. He would be damned to eons of insanity.

A truly diabolical punishment for a horrible man.

The Demonic soul spider was a curse jutsu which relied on Voldemort having a connection to his Horcruxes. It would take the soul sealed in Limbo and spiderweb to all the other connected fragments and infect them from within, making them useless. Naruto didn't need magic to destroy the Horcrux physically; he just needed to destroy the souls held within.

Now, they would just be useless trinkets. And if one of them was a living being, it would be free from this bastard's curse.

Voldemort had been dealt with, so Naruto left the orange room, which was in another pocket dimension of his own creation. It was a single shack on a volcano, and there was nothing else in the dimension. Before leaving, Naruto disabled the oxygen supply and applied motion detector seals and magic restriction seals.

If, on the incredibly small chance that Voldemort managed to escape, the seal would detect any motion and drop the shack into the volcano. And the shack had no oxygen anyway, so Voldemort was as good as gone.

"Woah…" Lily muttered in awe after hearing of their battle.

"Heheh." Naruto sheepishly scratched his cheek. Hearing his wife admire him so much felt good.

"Love, enough of these thoughts. You are safe, and you came back home to me." Lily looked caringly at her sleeping daughter, "To us."

Naruto chuckled at her words, and drew her even closer in a tight hug. "Of course, Lily. I'll always come back to you." He kissed the top of her head.

Lily flushed. "My, what a charmer you've become!"

Naruto just grinned, and the pair got comfortable on the couch, looking out the window at the night sky. Now that Voldemort was gone, they had nothing to really worry about. It wasn't as if anyone could be a challenge to Naruto anyway.

Looking back, it was Lily who saved him from himself all those years ago, and he loved her for it. He was glad that this bubbly redhead was in his life.

The story begins

1976, UK

Naruto wasn't happy. At all. This country had no instant ramen!

Ever since he had crashed into this strange world six months ago, he had yet to find even one cup of instant ramen in any shop he checked! Even though these guys had some advanced technology, such as those 'cars' of theirs, how could they not have something as simple as instant noodles!

"Arrggh, dammit!" Naruto mussed up his hair in frustration, "I'm bored of eating real food!"

"At least you grew a few inches. I would not have my host be a dwarf anymore." Kurama quipped, earning a glare from Naruto. It was true, though. Since Naruto was now forced to eat meat and vegetables to survive, he was getting proper nutrition. That, coupled with Uzumaki genetics and Kurama magic, made his height cross six feet.

But the ramen was not his biggest issue. Neither was it money. Naruto had managed to forge an identity for himself, and got a publisher to sell Jiraiya's book under the name 'Ero-sennin'. He was loaded, which is why he could buy a townhouse for himself in some town called Cokeworth. Naruto just moved here last week, and didn't know any of his neighbours yet.

"Like that's gonna make a difference!" He sneered, crushing the potato he was holding into powder.

This was another change in Naruto since the war. He was so… angry all the time. After all he did to gain the village's approval, after all the blood, sweat and tears he shed, it was all ripped away from him by that bastard.

"Sasuke, you piece of shit…" Naruto's eyes turned red, as he unconsciously channelled Kurama's chakra. After the final betrayal by his former best friend, Naruto had snapped. He realised how foolish he had been, but he could not do anything about it. Sasuke had cast him away to this unknown realm, never to be seen again. At least Naruto had killed him on his way out. That brought him some satisfaction.

Kurama looked on in silence. He would have traded a few insults normally, but now was not the time. Naruto always got back up and fought in the face of any adversity, but the Uchiha's final betrayal was too much for him. Now, Naruto was a mess of anger and depression, and he swore never to repeat his mistakes again.

Naruto Uzumaki had stopped seeing the good in people.

Kurama wouldn't admit it, but it was a great loss to the world as a whole. Naruto's optimism had saved many in the past, including Kurama himself. The new Naruto gave no second chances. First chances, yes. He was still Naruto. But once you crossed him, he showed no mercy.

A few comatose robbers and street thugs were enough evidence for that. He still didn't kill indiscriminately, but neither did he freely offer friendship. As he was now, Naruto would have killed Gaara, Sasuke, Nagato, Obito and anyone else who tried to kill him, without remorse. Kurama honestly pitied any enemies this version of Naruto would make.

Naruto was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a knock on his door. Groaning in irritation, he went to see who it was. He really didn't want to deal with any person today, or possibly ever. But he doubted the person would go away by being ignored. His stubbornness sense was tingling.

Sighing, Naruto opened the door to find… a cute girl?

She was a redhead, Naruto noted with approval, with pretty green eyes. She had a wide smile on her face, and was holding a pie in her hands. She was about a foot shorter than him, and Naruto admitted that she looked adorable. In his mind, of course.

He was glad he opened the door.

"Good morning! I'm Lily, your neighbour!" The redhead chirped, "I came to say hello and welcome you to the neighbourhood."

Naruto liked the sound of her voice. It wasn't irritating or grating to the ears.

He managed a half-hearted smile. "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Naruto." He tried to be cordial, even though his mind was a mess of darkness. He wouldn't be a rude asshole like Sasuke if he could help it.

If Lily caught on to this, she did nothing to show it. "Here, I baked you a pie! It's apple, I hope you like it!"

Naruto's eyes widened. She had baked him a pie? Herself? "You made this for me?" he asked, slowly pointing a finger at himself.

Lily giggled. "Yes, silly! I wanted to give you something nice your first week here!"

"Just for that reason?"

Even though he was touched by the gesture, another flash of anger surged through him. Not at her, but at himself. Seventeen years in that damned village, and only Sakura, Hinata, Teuchi and Ayame had ever cooked anything for him. But here was this happy redhead, and she'd made him a pie without even knowing him?

Pushing aside those thoughts, Naruto gingerly extended his arms, and Lily handed him the tray. It was warm, must have been fresh. It felt nice.

"Thank you." He mumbled slowly, eyes downcast. He was trying to be polite, but Naruto felt like shit.

Nothing much, just the cruel weight of knowing how little he had been appreciated.

Lily smiled at him, her eyes softening. "Don't worry about it. Tell me how it was, okay? I'll come by in a couple of days for the tray."

"Will do. Thanks again."

"It's fine~! See you later, Naruto!"

Waving cheerily, Lily went back to her house, which was across the street from his own.

"Yeah, see you." Naruto muttered, his mind a jumble of thoughts. He at least took pride in the fact that he hadn't been a grump and hurt the nice girl's feelings. However depressed and angry he was, he was still Naruto. He wouldn't be a horrible emo like Sasuke.

Well, those thoughts could wait. He had a pie to eat.

Lily gingerly balanced the pie in her hands as she walked across the street. She was excited, because she was visiting the new neighbour today! She didn't know much about him, just that he was a boy her age.

The thought filled her with anticipation. She'd been longing for some friends for a time now. Ever since the Severus incident in her fifth year, she had no one to talk to during summer break. Her sister still thought she was a freak, and so did the other teens in her area.

Shaking her head, Lily pushed those thoughts aside and knocked on the door. She would be as nice as she could, and hopefully make a new friend!

The door opened, to reveal a blonde boy with the most sparkling blue eyes she'd ever seen.

"My, he's well fit, isn't he?" Lily thought in the deepest recesses of her mind.

The boy was handsome, very much so. And he had whisker marks on his cheeks? That was curious. Was he someone in the magical world? Oh, how lovely that would be! Maybe he'd go to Hogwarts with her, and they could be classmates in the sixth year.

But throughout their interaction, Lily observed that Naruto seemed sad, extremely so. However, he wasn't rude to her, which she appreciated. She didn't know what she'd do if her new prospective friend turned out to be a rude prick like Severus or Potter. Lily hated bullies with a passion.

But the nice boy, polite as he was, looked broken. As if he'd suffered some great tragedy. Maybe because he'd been alone all his life? Well, whatever the case may be, she was going to be his friend and change that! She didn't like seeing that look on his face. Lily thought he'd look best when he smiled with genuine happiness.

So, while leaving, she'd said that she would come back in a few days for the pie tray. The tray was disposable, and she didn't really need it. However, she wanted an excuse to pop by his house again, and try to bring him out of his shell.

Lily was a kind girl at heart. And seeing someone suffer in front of her, especially someone who hadn't lashed out at her just because they were in pain, was something she couldn't allow to stand. She wanted to help him.

And there was that small, tiny, inconsequential side benefit.

"Rather cute, wasn't he?"

A/N- Done! Hopefully will have regular updates now.

Fun fact: the UK didn't get instant ramen until 1977. Poor Naruto is one year early. Maybe he'll get some ramen in Hogwarts lol.

Review if you liked!