(September 2nd 2000, 4:57PM)
The veteran at the counter was dismayed at the kid's arrival : why the hell would he be here ? In fact, he already knew, but he didn't want to believe it.
He also knew who this kid was : his colleague Jimbo shot him back in Thanksgiving of last year.
-"What the hell are you doing here." he asked with his monotone and broken voice.
Timmy brought his hand to his head.
-"Isn't it obvious ? I need weapons."
Ned was flabbergasted. The kid was so sure of himself it was almost convincing ! However, something else was in the hunter's mind.
-"...Did you just speak."
-"I do not speak. I think. You will forget about this conversation in two business days anyway. I need to buy guns. I do have cash money."
Getting past the security of Tolkien's house was no easy feat.
-"I can't let you get a gun."
-"And why so ? Is it because i am under the legal limit ? Negotiation is always possible."
-"You don't have a license. And your hands twitch all the time. You might kill someone."
-"THAT'S THE POINT !"
Timmy sighed. This conversation would be going nowhere.
Ned suddenly fell a deep headache, and his already dim vision grew even darker, before he finally collapsed behind the counter.
The psychic kind of regretted his action : he never used his super cool psychic powers in that way, but it was for a good cause. At least according to him.
He grabbed two assault rifles, similar to those in the western movies his dad loved. It was going to be heavy.
Timmy left the store. Jimbo then entered by the backdoor and saw his fellow hunter on the floor.
-"God damn it, Ned !"
He looked up from his friend and observed the large sum of cash piled up on the counter.
-"Well, whatever runs business, i guess."
--
After a few hundred meters looking like a wanted individual with the two guns in his hands, Timmy came across two elementary school kids, probably heading home.
-"You two. Stop this instant."
They did so, caught up in the voice in their little heads. Timmy rolled towards them and looked at each.
-"Do you know where the South Park middle and high school is located ?"
The kids nodded in unison.
-"Good. Now hurry, and take these to the janitor's shed where he keeps all his tools, located in the establishment playground. Hide them well, so he is incapable of seeing them."
He placed a weapon in the hands of each of the children, and they began to run off as fast as their little legs could make them go towards their goal.
Timmy rubbed his hands together like a cartoon villain. His plan was going according to plan for the moment. Everything would be decided tomorrow, at lunchtime, in the school's playground, and he couldn't be more impatient.
But he had one last thing to bring : indeed, he had planned a second secret option in case Jimmy did not die, which will for sure make him expelled.
--
(September 3rd 2000, 12:12PM)
-"Hey, look at that !" Stan declares. "There's a post-it on Jimmy's locker."
Cartman snatched it and decided to read it. The writing was clearly not by hand, but by computer.
-""Come to the playground for lunch break. I've got revenge to take and scores to settle. Do not bring anything, not even your bag, for it will not save you" Holy crap, Timmy is pissed !"
-"Woow, that's very threatening !" Butters said, fidgeting with his hands." I would be scared if i was him."
-"Scared of wh-what ?"
The group faced the boy and Kyle grabbed his shoulders, shaking him lightly.
-"Jimmy, no matter what, do NOT go to the playground !"
-"Why ?"
-"It's Timmy ! He's at it with his shenanigans again !" Butters added.
-"But don't worry, we're gonna take care of him !" Stan said, fist in hand.
-"I can do that m-m-myself. Gimme that."
Jimmy snatched the note from Cartman's hands, and read it throughly. His face went from a neutral expression to an annoyed one. He sighed, eyes rolling up.
-"Well, he wants revenge, huh ? Well I'm gonna be... I'm gonna be... beat his ass again."
-"Yeah yeah, fuck him up Jimmy !" Cartman shouted, full of excitement. "Cripple Fight Two ! I repeat, Cripple Fight Two : The revenge ! Right now in the playground ! Come place your bets and get your front row seats !!
That is crazy ! This dude is a real weirdo ! Jimmy had been too nice again, had hoped that he would change but no, never. He came to the conclusion that some people were born to be sons of bitches, and would remain so for the rest of their lives. And that was the case for this bastard Timmy.
Jimmy opened the double doors that led to the playground in one hit of a crutch, followed by a black sea of students.
He saw him right away : Timmy was straight ahead, his piercing gaze locked into his, briefly interrupted by a group of teenagers.
-"Jimmy."
He smiled, sure of his move. Jimmy looked at the astronomical number of kids, their eyes pointed to the two colleagues.
-"W-well then, when do we f-fight ? I thought you were supposed to get your revenge huh ? You're a fu-fucking w-wimp !
Timmy let his head fall into his right hand, still smiling.
The janitor shed then opened from the back of the playground, and the two elementary school kids emerged from it, the famous assault rifles in their little arms.
Here was Timmy's plan : a duel. A duel he was sure to win, and a grand death for the most annoying guy on the planet before Jimmy Fallon.
-"Jesus Christ, he has guns ??" Kyle exclaimed.
-"We need to get to the teachers !"
But Stan was quickly stopped by a tenth grader guarding the double doors.
-"No one comes in, and no one comes out, turd !"
-"Shelley, what the fuck ?!"
-"I said no one in !"
Shelley kicked her brother in the nuts. Cartman was completely coasting, exploding with impatience.
-"Come on guys, place your bets ! Who's gonna win this time ? Crutches guy or wheelchair guy ?"
One of the kids gave a rifle to Jimmy, and he admired the weapon in his hands, but he quickly came to his senses.
-"Are you f-fucking mad ?! Where the h-hell did you f-f-find this ??"
-"Timmeh. (I do have my network.)"
-"Oh yeah ? Then will your n-network stop me from sh-sh-shooting you right now ?"
Jimmy furrowed his eyebrows and nervously pointed his gun at Timmy. It was only a threatening move : honestly, he didn't think he'd be able to actually pull the trigger.
At this sudden move, Timmy raised one finger. Only one.
-"There's only one b-bullet in this thing ? That seems c-counterpr-productive, very much."
It was not. One shot, one dead.
-"Can you FIGHT ? It's getting boring ?" Cartman protested.
Voices in the crowd agreed with him.
-"I'm gonna g-give a little s-speech first."
The voices protested, but Timothy raised his hand with a twitch, as if to allow Jimmy to speak. Indeed, he was interested in what he had to say.
-"Listen to me, you little b-bitch."
Oh. That kind of speech.
-"I came b-back with the hope that your hatred would have d-dissip-pated in the summer, and that your visible jealousy and e-ego problems would not b-be an hindrance to your miserable existence anymore."
Well, this guy sure does play with words ! No wonder why he's a comedian. "But it doesn't stop him from sucking at it."
-"However, you s-still stick with your old manners for absol-lutely n-no reason, and don't try to give me one because you're litteraly k-known all around the US with your s-stupid ass garage buh-band, which is only successful thanks to y-you anyway !"
Timmy clutched his gun to his chest, doubtful of the sudden compliment that might not be one. If this big coward's strategy was to make him abandon his plan, it was not going to happen like that.
-"Is this because I'm h-handsome ? Okay, you may not have n-necessarily been spoiled by nature but there are more s-s-serious things in life ! You could've got cancer and lost all of your h-hair ! Which is already a b-bit of the case because you look like you have a receding hairline at the ripe age of ten years old !"
Timmy held back a laughter and pointed at his colleague.
-"Timmy ???? Jimmy ! (YOU are saying that ???? Feels like hypocrisy !)
-"What did he say ?" a guy in the crowd shouted.
-"He s-said :"You are saying th-that ? Feels like hypocrisy !"" Jimmy answered.
-"He actually understands him ?" Kyle said.
-"Who doesn't ?? For Christ's s-sake !"
-"Shut up crip, FIIGHT !!!"
Roaring applause exploded from the crowd, who couldn't wait anymore.
The two fighters then took position : Jimmy extended his crutches slightly lower, so that they touched the ground even with his arms raised.
As for Timmy, his weapon was too big and hit the back of his wheelchair : he therefore had to put himself in profile and turn his head towards the enemy.
The tension was palpable in the cold air of the playground. People were getting impatient, not knowing who was going to fire the first shot.
Timmy suddenly gritted his teeth. The bullets went off, barely half a second apart.
--
-"Oh my god, he killed Kenny !"
-"You bastard !"
Jimmy, eyes shut and arms shaking, suddenly turned around. He watched with horror the blond boy surrounded by his two friends who ripped away his hood, with a gaping hole right in the middle of his forehead and a puddle of blood growing under his jacket.
Timmy missed his shot. Wait... Timmy ?
James looked in his direction, but he didn't see him : his wheelchair was knocked over.
He laughed a little : all of that for this outcome ? All this preparation, these big words only to end up collapsing so quickly ?! He knew Timmy was far from dead, and he ran towards him.
He was right : Timmy was sitting in the snow against the back of his overturned chair, clutching on his left arm like his life depended on it. It kinda did though : from his arm emerged waves of blood merging with his long sleeved shirt. He looked up at Jimmy, teeth clenched and mouth closed. He was angry but ashamed : red and blue were mixing in his brain.
He tried to bring his valid hand closer to the barrel of his rifle, which had fallen not far from him, but Jimmy pushed it away with a crutch swing.
-"You r-really are a fucking d-d-dumbass, huh ?"
Jimmy reached down, grabbed Timmy and placed him over his shoulder, holding him with one arm.
Timmy protested ! How dare he be so calm and just pick him up like that after shooting him in the arm ?! To think that because of one of his involuntary hand movements, he shot Kenny ! Luckily it was him though, he'll come back tomorrow anyway.
-"I am t-taking you to the n-n-nurse office, you'll die if you keep bl-bleeding like that."
The nurse office ? The nurse office ?? That's it, he definitely proved how stupid he was.
Jimmy barely started to walk away from the circle when Timmy grabbed his shirt and bit down his shoulder as hard as possible, feeling a bit of blood in his mouth.
-"Fucking b-bastard !"
The crowd cheered as Jimmy fell backwards. Timmy laughed like a madman and climbed on top of him, grabbing his hair with one hand and repeatedly slamming his head into the snow : once, twice, thrice.
Jimmy jabbed him in the brow bone, reopening a war wound sustained during their previous fight.
-"Don't you think that there's a little... gay stuff between them ?" Cartman constated.
-"Ugh, shut up Cartman ! You just say that because they're both disabled !"
-"One witness is not enough to convict anyone accused of any crime or offense they may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. Deuteronomy 19:15."
-"Can it, fag."
-"DO NOT CALL ME A FAG!!"
The fight was still going on and it bled everywhere : from Timmy's arm to Jimmy's nose, which was broken. This time, he was on top. Timmy was clearly weakened : he was pale, breathing rapidly and his vision was turning all colors. Jimmy suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.
-"What the f-f-fuck is wrong with y-you ?! I just wanted to be your f-friend !"
Timmy took a quick look to his right and saw Jimmy's gun, which must have cooled down quite a bit. He grabbed the barrel and swung with his good arm as hard as he could.
Jimmy collapsed to the side, his temple stained red by the rifle's stock. It was over.
Timmy held the gun in his hands in a way that could be destructive if it hit Jimmy's face. But before he could do anything, the weapon fell from his hands and he collapsed as well, on top of his sworn enemy, blood mixing with his.
Disappointed words could be heard from the crowd, sad that it was over already.
-"Aw, come on ! It's the same as last time !"
The double doors flew away as the mind control ended, and Raquelle rushed to the playground, followed by the fruity supervisor.