Age 5
"Uncle Sirius?" The child called softly, stepping into the foggy room, his slightly oversized pajama trousers dragging on the floor. Harry knew the meeting had ended quite a while ago now, but he hadn't heard the steady footsteps of his godfather ascending the creaky stairs to his bedroom.
Sirius quickly stubbed the cigarette he had been smoking out into the ashtray beside him, the voice of the small boy breaking him out of his quiet reverie. "What is it pup?" he asked, waving his wand to brighten the dimmed lights slightly.
Harry padded over to the man, coughing as the stagnant smoke hit his lungs.
"I'm sorry" his godfather winced at the cough, waving his wand again and clearing any lingering signs of the cigarette he had partaken in. "I thought you were asleep" he added guiltily, dropping his feet from the foot stool, and sitting up as he invited the child to join him.
"I thought you quit" Harry answered back, a pointed look at the ashtray which now held a single stubbed out cigarette end. His uncle had been smoking since as long as he could remember, but most of his uncle's friends had said it was a fairly recent habit.
Sirius smiled at the child, "I'll try again tomorrow" he said softly, a sense of guilt at having disappointed the child. Remus had been on his back about quitting too, but it wasn't quite as effective as when it came directly from Harry. "Come and give this old man a hug" Sirius held his arms open to the boy, squeezing him tightly when he bounded into them.
"I heard you guys shouting" Harry spoke softly, his face pressed against the man's chest as he loosened his hold.
The meeting hadn't ended pleasantly. Accusations had been hurled about the response to the dark artifacts and pureblood loyalists since the fall of Voldemort 3 years ago. While some still felt that a more defensive strategy was in the best interest, others felt taking the offence was. Sirius had voiced his support of the latter.
"Did our shouting wake you up?" He asked, combing his fingers gently through the child's hair. Harry leant into the touch, curling up towards Sirius. The older man pulled the child up into his lap, his thoughts going to the meeting that had ended about an hour ago now.
"Uh huh" the child nodded, lifting his head from the man's chest as he glanced up.
Sirius hummed in response. The order meetings had always taken place here, and he couldn't think of a better suited location for the meetings. But having Harry upstairs while they took place was rather unsettling. The topics of those meetings were not pleasant tales for children, and he didn't like the idea that Harry might overhear.
"What's a fibilus charm?" Harry asked quietly, pondering the topics of the meeting he had overheard and breaking the short silence. His fingers found the buttons of Sirius' shirt and fiddled with them nervously as he awaited a response.
"A fidelius charm" Sirius corrected without thinking, before feeling his own heartbeat quicken at the thought of the charm. He worked hard to not let his discomfort at discussing the topic with Harry show on his face, and he offered the child a strained smile. "What's made you ask that kiddo?".
Harry thought about what he'd overheard for a moment, unsure if it would upset his Godfather to speak about. He'd noticed that Sirius didn't do too well on the topic, and it was often easier to speak to his Uncle Remus about his Mum and Dad's deaths. Taking a breath, "You said the fibelius charm" Harry tailed off, both parties knowing exactly what Sirius had said about the decision to use it for Lily and James.
Sirius cringed at the thought. He had a strong suspicion that Harry had heard what he'd said about Albus' plan, and he hoped he was mistaken. "Did my words upset you?" He asked carefully, looking at the child's face to ensure the words matched the expression.
Harry thought for a moment, "no" he confirmed with a shake of his head, not noticing the relief that crossed the older man's features.
"But you said mummy and daddy shouldn't have hided" he spoke matter-of-factly, "you told Uncle Albus that he had them trapped" he added in a quieter tone.
"I shouldn't have said that Harry" Sirius soothed, wincing at his own words being quoted back to him. "What happened to mummy, and daddy was an awful thing, but Uncle Albus isn't to blame" he continued, putting an arm around the child and hugging him to his side.
The pair sat in silence for a short while, both looking into the dwindling fire opposite. Sirius loved and hated moments like this with his godson. While he would give the world to spend each waking day with Harry, he couldn't help but think that he was taking the place of James. Worse yet, he couldn't help but think how much happier Harry would have been, how much better James and Lily would have done at raising him. "I love you very much pup" Sirius broke the silence, glancing down at the messy head of hair that reminded him so painfully of his best friend.
Harry looked up, smiling up at the man "I love you too" he confirmed. The child leant up, hugging the man around the neck in a tight squeeze. "Even when you're mean to people" he added with a giggle.
Sirius pulled the child into his lap with a laugh, "I am not mean to people" he said. Then, looking at the little bundle in his lap "I thought we might go to Hogwarts tomorrow" he told Harry, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.
"Really?" The child grinned back.
"Really" the older man smiled, "I need to speak to Albus, and I assume you need to pay the owlery a visit?".
Harry nodded eagerly at the prospect of going to the owlery. Ever since he had come to stay with Sirius, he had been taken to see the owls each time the pair visited Hogwarts. It was Harry's favourite part of the castle to visit, and Sirius was well aware of it.
Swinging the child up into his arms as he stood, Sirius began carrying him through the parlor and up the stairs to his bedroom. "Are you gonna say sorry to Uncle Albus?"
Sirius grinned at the boy, throwing him up into the air and catching him again as he kissed the smiling cheeks. "Do you think I ought to?" he teased in return, widening his eyes to feign innocence.
"Remember that time when I told Ron to shutup?" the child asked in all seriousness, and Sirius knew exactly where he was heading with such a question.
He nodded solemnly at the boy, "I do".
"And d'you remember what you told me?" Harry asked, making Sirius feel that the parental role had been firmly turned on its head.
"If my memory serves correctly, despite my ancient old age" the man began teasing, "I do believe I made you issue him an apology" he added.
"Uh huh you did" the child smiled in confirmation, "so when I was rude to Ron, I had to say sorry, which means that you need to say sorry when you're rude to Uncle Albus" he instructed, with a wagging of his eyebrows to encourage the older man.
Sirius let out an exaggerated sigh, "well I suppose if my most favored Godson wants me to apologise then I must" he exclaimed as they made it to Harry's bedroom.
"Uncle Sirius is here to say sorry!" Harry exclaimed joyfully as the pair entered the headmaster's office. He quickly made himself comfortable, jumping up into one of the plush armchairs and not noticing Sirius' awkwardness and embarrassment at having to form an apology.
"Welcome boys" the headmaster greeted them both, giving Sirius a somewhat encouraging smile. He was well aware of the toll that Lily and James' deaths had taken on Sirius, and he did not blame him for his outburst the evening prior. It was quite understandable that the man sought answers and blame where he could, and the headmasters own experience of grief had taught him that it was far from grounded in rational thought.
"Thank you for your assistance, Harry" Sirius teased before turning to the headmaster. "Albus, I owe you my deepest apologies" he began, refusing to stop when the headmaster attempted to wave it away, "I am aware that we all did everything we could to help, and turning on our allies will not help" he added. "I would be most appreciative if you could accept my apologies for my comments yesterday evening".
"We will speak no more of it, Sirius" the headmaster accepted with a smile, "now please tell me you have come for more than just the sharing of apologies" he added, glancing at the small boy who was beaming up at his godfather.
"Uncle Sirius is gonna take me flying!" Harry burst out in excitement. "And then we're gonna go and see Hagrid n fang" he added.
"Merlin, what a day of excitement" the headmaster enthused. "I may join you for some tea with Hagrid later this afternoon then".
"That would be most welcome" Sirius chimed in, solidifying the return to normality with the headmaster.