AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I know it's been a WHILE since I updated (please forgive me!), but I promise I haven't forgotten. I've been sitting here for months, with hundreds of planning notes, docs, versions of this chapter because I got stuck in a "choose your own adventure" situation where I literally went down dozens of potential plot possibilities and scenes because I couldn't make a decision and got overwhelmed, lol (yay ADHD!).
But I'm doing well, so thanks to everyone who has commented and checked in- life is good (just busy busy busy with a toddler & work, despite the fact I'm desperately trying to manifest being independently wealthy so I can just write/read fanfic all day ). I also went through one of those phases as a writer where I hated everything I wrote, thinking every chapter I've ever written was a total piece of garbage and I should just delete it all. LOL. IYKYK.
But I took some time away, re-read this fic a few times and even if it has many imperfections (that I swear one day I'll go back and fix), I love this story and these characters and definitely plan to finish it. Anyway, if you're still here—thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for sending love! I appreciate you sticking with it! ️
Also for real- this is like a 3-4 drink chapter. 🍷 🍷 🍷 depending on your preferences).
Soren made his way through the crowds until he was standing in the middle of Diagon Alley, looking around and trying to get his bearings. Unsure of where to begin his mission, he headed for the first place he knew: Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.
Like a man on a mission, Soren pushed through the door and rushed confidently up to the front counter where he was greeted by a bubbly red-head who couldn't have been more than 15.
"I need a love potion, please," he said, clasping his hands on the counter with his head held high. He was slightly out of breath from the adrenaline and his brief sprint through the street, but he swept his hair back and stilled himself, attempting to put a serious look on his face.
The shop girl giggled. "Awww, is there a special someone you want to make your little girlfriend?"
Soren's face devolved into a scowl. "No. It's not for me."
She gave him a small wink. "Of course not."
Frustration started to build inside of Soren, he couldn't stand being spoken down to like a little kid; he was here with money in his pocket and a purpose, and he didn't have time to waste. "Do you have it or not?"
"Well, we have some Lust Lollies, and some 'Be Mine, Valentine' smarties that will make your lips look luscious and taste of strawberry, but honestly, you're probably a bit young for both of those products. Maybe you can just get her a nice selection of chocolates and write her a card. We have a charmed card that explodes with little colored hearts, it's quite cute, actually."
"I don't want any of those. And I told you, it's not for me. I need a real Love Potion. Something that will actually work." Soren stepped back slightly and crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at her in clear disdain, channeling his father's most displeased look with perfection.
The smile on the girl's face disappeared as she looked around. "Where are your parents?"
"Nevermind." Soren took that as his cue and with an irritated huff, he stormed out of the store, disappointed but no less motivated.
He was looking up and down the street trying to decide where to go next when he heard a voice behind him.
"You can't get a Love Potion in a place like that."
"Where then?" Soren turned around to see a lanky teen coming out of the shop door behind him.
The smug boy looked down at him with a knowing smirk. "You've gotta go to Knockturn Alley for stuff like that, mate, no proper shop here would sell it."
Soren gave him a quizzical look. "Where's Knockturn Alley?"
"It's not a place for little kids."
"I don't care, I'm not afraid. And I'm not a little. I'm 7."
The older boy laughed. "Oh yeah, big man. You should probably go back and find your mummy before you get yourself in trouble. Besides, those Love Potions are dark magic, nothing a little boy like you should be playing about with."
Soren squinted his eyes. "My mummy is dead. And my father asked me to get it for him and if I don't he's going to be really cross."
"Really? Then why didn't he just come get himself?" The older boy raised a disbelieving eyebrow, but his face shifted as he stared at the kid, realizing this wasn't a joke to him.
"None of your business. If you won't help me I'll find someone who will." Soren had no idea where this bravado was coming from, but he didn't have time to waste and he was fed-up with being dismissed because he was small.
The older boy stood for a moment staring at him, mulling things over as he ran a hand through his spiky blond hair. "I guess I could show you how to get to there, but I'm not going in. My mum'll kill me if I do."
With a nod of his head, Soren agreed. "Well, let's go then. I have to get back home before dinner."
"But seriously, you shouldn't be going in there alone. It's really not safe."
"I told you, I'm not scared."
"I don't know, mate. It's not a good idea."
"I'm not leaving til I have what I came for. So if you won't help me, just leave me alone, I'll find Knockturn all by myself." Soren huffed and adjusted the straps on his backpack, ready to make his way back into the streets.
Recognizing the boy was determined, the teen heaved a sigh and gave in. "Alright, fine, let's go. But don't say I didn't warn you. And keep your voice down, you don't need to announce it."
He reached out and grabbed Soren by the hand, pulling him away from a crowd of children and adults who were gathered at the window in front of the Weasley's shop, watching as the display came alive showcasing their newest firework quills, looking around and hoping no one had heard them.
Soren allowed himself to be walked down the street by the bigger boy who took him up and down several streets before pausing in front of a small and unassuming brick wall.
"You can pass from here. Look for Archibald's Apothecary. They might have what you need."
Now that the afternoon light was waning into dusk, a chill descended on Soren, and he shivered slightly, both from the cold and his growing anxiety. "Can you come with me?" He looked up with big pleading eyes, his nerves starting to get to him. "Just for a minute…please?"
"No way, mate. My mum'll have my hide." He shook his head vigorously. "Just be quick about it. If you linger around, someone's liable to snatch you—or worse."
Soren was proper terrified now, but he refused to give up, so he ignored his lurching stomach and pushed his fear aside as he put back his shoulders and put on a brave face. "OK."
"And for Merlin's sake, don't let anyone know you're alone. If anyone asks, tell them your dad is in Borgin & Burke's, and if you get a bad feeling, just run. Pay attention where you pop out of the brick, you'll need to come back through the same way."
With a nod of his head, Soren let go of the boy's hand and walked straight into the brick, an odd feeling overtaking him before he exited into a much more desolate and eerily dark street.
Just as the older boy instructed, Soren turned around and made a mental note of where he was. Almost there. Be brave.
Another shiver ran through him as a particularly icy gust of wind chilled him to the bone. Soren could have sworn the temperature dropped several degrees as soon as he emerged from the brick, or maybe it was just the shadows devoid of sunlight that made it feel extra cold.
Diagon Alley had been packed full of people enjoying their Sunday afternoon out, piling into the pub for a roast dinner and a pint, exasperated parents trying to corral their gleeful children who were hyped up on ice cream and chocolate frogs trying to keep them from lingering at every exciting window. It was full of life and light and laughter.
But this was nothing like that. The streets were nearly empty, the buildings appearing abandoned and covered in soot, with an ominous darkness that hovered over Soren like a storm cloud teeming with negative energy.
A large door slammed open up ahead, and Soren quickly dipped into the shadows when he heard voices.
He stayed crouched in place until the three men had disappeared into another building further down the street. When the coast was clear, he stood up and moved quickly toward the handful of shops he could see up ahead.
His reading still left much to be desired, but he could see the potion's symbol on the sign, and after staring for a moment trying to sound out the words, he was sure he was in the right place. Archibald's Apothecary.
With a deep breath, he reached for the door handle.
A small bell on announced his presence and Soren looked around, old books and bottles of potions and scary looking ingredients stared back at him. But he wasn't afraid, not even of the jars containing pickled eyeballs, he'd seen plenty of unusual ingredients in his father's lab.
At first Soren thought no one was there, and he wandered over to a particularly beautiful bottle shimmering with a blue-purple liquid. Unable to control his impulse, he reached up to touch it.
"Don't touch, boy! You break it, you buy it."
Soren jumped back and stared at the elderly man scowling at him from back of the store. "Sorry."
"This isn't a store for mischievous brats. Some of these potions are worth more than your wretched little life, although I'm sure I could get a nice price for a jar of your ground bones."
The man gave a menacing smile revealing a mouthful of rotten and crooked teeth, several of them conspicuously absent. "Now out you go before I change my mind and start bottling up your organs."
Soren knew he should run, but he had already come this far, and he was so close he could taste it. Every instinct inside of him was screaming to leave, but he ignored his inner voice and brought himself to his full height (tiny as it was) refusing to show any fear.
"I need a love potion."
This elicited a loud cackle from the man who slapped a hand down on the counter in amusement. "Oh do you now?"
"I have money."
"I see." The man's eyes flashed with something sinister and he made his way slowly toward Soren.
"Did you have a specific potion in mind? There are dozens of potions that fall in this category—you'll have to be more…specific."
It had never occurred to Soren that there would be different options, and truthfully he had no idea.
"There are potions that can turn someone into your love slave, completely without free will." He walked toward a shelf in the back and plucked a small bottle. "Servitus Amoris— a favorite of mine. Although you seem a bit young to enjoy this one fully."
He smiled again, revealing more of his rotting teeth and blackened gums.
"It's not for me. It's for my father. "
"Well, I'm sure your father would enjoy this one very much."
Soren shook his head. He wanted his father to fall in love with Ms. Cloutier, not turn her into a love slave. Whatever that meant.
"I can also source a potion that causes the one taking it to become irresistibly attractive to anyone nearby. The people around them won't be able to control themselves. He could have his pick of anyone, muggle or witch. But it only lasts a few hours, then it must be re-dosed."
"I need it to last forever."
"No potion lasts forever, you silly boy. If you want to maintain the effects, it must be redosed."
"Oh." Soren's face fell slightly.
"Amortentia is rather mundane choice when we have so many more exciting potions on offer, but its effects can last weeks, longer potentially depending on the dosage and potency."
"But it can make people fall in love?"
"Boring, but yes."
"I want to buy that one, then."
"Amortentia should be brewed fresh to maintain its potency. Leave a deposit and I'll have one of my potioneers make it fresh…but it will cost you."
"But I need it today. It's an emergency."
The old man scoffed and waved a dismissive hand. "Not possible."
"Please?" Soren pulled out three galleons and placed them cautiously on the counter. "Maybe you have a bit in the back?"
A sinister smile crossed the elderly man's face as he stared down at the coins. "It's going to cost you quite a bit more than three galleons, boy."
"That's all I have."
The man swiped the coins off the counter and put them directly into the pocket of his robes. "You've wasted enough of my time. Get out."
"Wait!" Soren dug into his pocket and pulled out a gold locket. It was his mothers, and one of the few valuable possessions he had of hers. "I have this too. It's gold. And there's a diamond in the middle. See?"
"Give me that." A gnarled hand shot out, filthy nails and potion-stained fingers reaching for it greedily.
Not to be tricked into losing his only heirloom, Soren pulled it back. "No. I don't want you to take it. I want to see the potion first."
The man leaned down and sneered so close to Soren's face that he nearly fainted from the putrid smell of his breath. "Careful, boy or the only way you'll leave this shop is in vials and bottles."
Reluctantly, Soren handed him the necklace.
After looking it over thoroughly, the man tossed it on the ground at Soren's feet. "This is worthless. Nothing but a cheap bit of rubbish made of pewter and glass."
Tears started to pool in Soren's eyes as he realized he was running out of options. "I can get more money. How much is it?" Soren thought that maybe he could borrow some money from Teddy or even Harry. And he was also sure the manor was filled with valuable things that his father probably wouldn't even miss. He'd figure something out.
"300 galleons for a small bottle. 500 if you want it brewed fresh."
300 galleons!
Soren's heart sank. "I don't have that much right now." He paused for a moment debating whether he should just leave before squeaking out one last request. "I want my three galleons back."
"I told you, boy, you wasted my time, so you had to pay for it. Now get out of my shop," he said, dismissing him with a wave and a scowl. "And don't bother to come back unless you've got real money."
"You stole my money. Give it back!" Soren demanded. "That's not fair!"
Before he could realize what was happening, a hand snatched Soren by his shirt, lifting him onto his toes as the man leaned close enough that Soren could feel his rotting breath on his face. "If you're not out of here in fifteen seconds, I'll turn you into a dog and lock you in a cage until I find a suitable buyer. I know quite a few customers that would pay a pretty penny for frail-looking boy like you. One in particular I know who'd enjoy training the insolence right out of you."
Soren froze momentarily as the man dragged a filthy fingernail slowly down the side of his cheek before releasing him abruptly, causing Soren to fall backward onto the floor.
With a flick of the man's boot to his flank, Soren yelped and grabbed his locket, scrambling to his feet as he launched himself toward the door. But in his haste, he didn't have his full footing and he fell forward harshly onto his hands and knees, pain erupting as he slammed into the rough stone.
When he heard the man cackling behind him, rage exploded out of him, and bottles along the wall started to pop and shatter, spilling glass and potions onto the floor, his accidental magic wreaking havoc all over the shop.
"Why you little cretin, how dare you!" Immediately the old man reached for Soren, but youth was in his favor and the boy was much faster. Soren had just pulled open the door when he was hit by an incredible, searing pain all over his body. He tried to scream but nothing came out.
The old man hurled another hex at him as Soren writhed on the cold street in more pain than he ever thought possible, the world around him fading briefly as he struggled to stay conscious.
"You'll pay for those! I told you boy, you break it, you buy it. And you will pay," He reached down to grab Soren, but the boy channeled every ounce of energy he had and bit the man's arm until he tasted blood, causing him to drop his wand and grab the gaping wound.
Soren snatched the man's wand and shoved it in his waistband, running as fast as he could toward Diagon Alley, his entire body electric with pain. He stumbled through the brick and came out the other side, before collapsing in a heap against the wall.
His entire body burned from the inside and his hands and knees were throbbing with pain, but when he looked down to check them for blood, he realized that his arms were covered in dark fur. What is happening?
He ran a hand down the back of his trousers and realized he had grown a tail as well, and when he felt his face, he knew he was in trouble.
"Help!" He tried to scream, but instead of words, all that he heard was a bark.
A small child holding her mother's hand pointed. "Mummy, look! That boy looks like a dog!"
The exasperated woman ignored the little girl's ridiculous statement, pulling on her hand to keep her moving, not sparing a moment to glance in Soren's direction. "Come on, Lizzie, keep your feet moving. You've got school tomorrow, and we should have been home an hour ago."
Terrified, Soren looked for a place to hide until he figured out what he was going to do. Thankfully right across from him was another alley with several large wooden barrels so he sprinted across the road and crouched in between them.
Finally, fear gave way to angry tears as the sky darkened above him and Soren began to shiver. He'd lost his bag somewhere in the scramble, so he didn't even have his extra jumper. He wished more than anything he was at home in his room, waiting to have a nice warm supper with his father and Ms. Cloutier. But he'd massively screwed up and now he was stuck here, all of his money gone, his stomach grumbling, his partially fur-covered body throbbing with electric pain. He turned me into a dog.
Soren tried to close his eyes and pretend it was a dream, but the rain started to fall on his head and as much as he wanted to believe he was anywhere else, he was painfully present in his current reality.
He sobbed into his furry little arms— there was no point in even going home now. His father would probably kill him, but even if he didn't he'd probably be so mad he'd send him away. Teddy's words that day in the maze rang through his mind. If his father didn't want him before, he definitely wouldn't want him now. He'd probably have to live on the streets a forever, a half-boy, half-dog orphan.
Without meaning to, he let out a loud wail that instead came out as a pathetic puppy-like whine, allowing himself to wallow fully in his current dismal situation.
"Oi, what's this then?" A plump woman in her mid-50s leaned down over the barrel before letting out a gasp.
Soren had his head tucked into his arms before he felt two hands lift him up from behind the barrel.
"Oh my days, what have we got here? Oh you poor little lad. Come inside before you catch your death. We'll get you sorted out."
The kind woman took Soren gently by his wrist—or whatever the joint above his now paw-like hand was called, steering him through the back door of the pub while he whimpered and whined, no human sounds coming out of him.
After spelling him dry and wrapping him in a blanket, she sat him on a comfy sofa by the fire. The pub, which had been completely overrun by customers all day, was starting to empty out as families and punters made their way home to get ready for a new week ahead.
It was dark enough inside that with the blanket wrapped around him, no one gave the boy a second look. But Soren held his knees to his chest, wallowing in his situation and hoping he'd disappear.
"Give us a minute, love and I'll get you something to eat, you must be hungry."
Soren nodded his head, only just now realizing he had floppy ears to go with his half-puppy face.
As he warmed himself by the fire, the woman went over to a pair of men sitting at the counter enjoying a pint and a friendly game of checkers. They both looked up, one nodded his head and went out the door.
A few minutes later, the nice lady placed a plate of roast chicken, mash, and veggies smothered in gravy on the table in front of Soren and sat beside him. "My name is Madame Rosmerta. We're going to take care of you until we find your parents. Are they somewhere here in Diagon Alley?"
Soren shook his head.
"Were you with friends then?"
Another shake of his head and a low whimper.
"Grandparents? Other family members?"
When he shook his head again, her soft face hardened slightly. "Oh dear, I hope a little lad like you wasn't here all by himself." Her eyes were soft and kind, but the gentle scold in her voice was unmistakable.
Soren nodded ashamedly, his big eyes spilling tears into the fur around his nose.
"Oh, up to no good it seems. No matter now, love. We'll get you fixed up and home, I'm sure your mummy and daddy are worried sick about you."
This sent Soren into a fresh round of sobs, but instead he sounded like a wounded puppy howling, causing the few remaining patrons in the dark room to turn their heads and stare.
"There, there, love. It's all going to be alright." She pulled him into an embrace. "No need to cry, you're going to be alright."
With his hands now half-paws, Madame Rosmerta helped to feed him each bite and he graciously devoured nearly the entire plate before he noticed several people in matching robes walking toward him.
A young pretty witch kneeled down beside him as two wizards stood by. "Hiya, mate. My name is Geraldine Fischer, and I work with the Magical Children's Ministry. We're going to get you fixed up and find your family, OK?"
Soren felt adrenaline rush through his body. Now he was in serious trouble. Were they going to throw him in jail? Did they send boys his age to jail? He looked around quickly for a route of escape.
As if anticipating what the boy was thinking one of the men in Ministry robes stepped forward and put his hand on Soren's shoulder. "You're not in any trouble. But we're going to take you to St. Mungo's and let them take a look at you, alright?"
"No!" Soren tried to shout, shaking his head, but all that came out was a bark. He attempted to stand up, but the man kept a heavy hand on his shoulder.
"I know you're scared, but try to stay calm. We're here to help you."
A third wizard pulled out his wand and ran a quick diagnostic spell. "Definitely some kind of dark magic, he needs to be seen by a specialist healer, someone with curse-breaking skills."
A panicked look flashed across Soren's eyes as Geraldine grabbed his paw-hand and helped him up. "Nothing to be afraid of, St. Mungo's has the best healers in the world. They'll have you sorted out in no time."
"Be a good boy for them, now." Madame Rosmerta gave them all a smile and then cuddled Soren into her ample bosom.
It's a bit late for that, Soren lamented, but he nodded and allowed Geraldine and the other Ministry officials to lead him out the door, wrapped in a blanket, whimpering quietly the whole way.
Soren had no idea what time it was, but it felt late. The sun had gone down hours ago and the bustling streets of earlier were now empty. He was exhausted.
"Hold my hand tightly, we're going to apparate now." Geraldine gave his hand a tight squeeze, but before Soren could even realize what was happening, the four of them disappeared with a crack.
It had never occurred to any of the adults that this child had never apparated before, and Soren yelped as his body erupted again in electric pain, reigniting whatever curse had been thrown at him by that evil man from the apothecary.
He howled and whimpered, collapsing to the ground, his vision going dark once more as he waned into unconsciousness. Without a pause, one of the Ministry officials scooped him up and rushed him quickly into the secret entrance of St. Mungos.
Immediately Soren was surrounded by a gaggle of witches and wizards in healer's robes swishing their wands around him and examining him. Soren opened his eyes briefly to see a pleasant-looking mediwitch hovering above him with a potion. "Here you are, bunny, this will help you feel better."
Soren parted his lips and allowed her to tip the potion into his mouth. Immediately the worst of the pain faded, and he closed his eyes again, enjoying the feeling of floating on a cloud, all of the voices and sounds of the hospital slowly fading away as he drifted away.
All day, Snape had worked feverishly in his lab. He was so close he could taste it, but the potion wasn't quite there yet, there was still something missing. He carefully added some diced mandrake roots, stirred it clockwise 28 times, and left it to simmer.
After cleaning his bench, he removed his brewing robes and glanced down at his watch. Nearly time for dinner. He wondered if Marie would be back in time to join them, or if she was planning to stay away as long as possible.
He let out a sigh and stretched his arms briefly before dragging his exhausted body up the stairs.
Part of him longed for the days he was alone in the manor, when he could do as he pleased, eat when he pleased, and not have to worry about another soul. When he could indulge himself in enjoyable intellectual pursuits, then pour himself a drink and read by the fire. But those days were long gone.
As he made his way up the main staircase, he prayed Soren would be in a much better mood—he was in no state to deal with any more tantrums or outbursts today.
With a brief knock, he opened the door. "Soren, it's time for supper."
Expecting to see the boy moping on his bed, or optimistically, sitting at his desk doing schoolwork, Snape's brow furrowed when he looked around and saw that the room was suspiciously devoid of small children. He growled out a far firmer "Soren?"
When the boy didn't respond, Snape felt the annoyance rising in his chest. "I've had enough of your nonsense today. Soren, come here, right now!"
He rushed the rest of the way into the room, looking under the bed, in the wardrobe, behind the curtains, anywhere a small boy might hide.
As he stormed out of the room he let his voice boom down the hallway. "You were given clear instructions to stay in your room. Wherever you are, you will come out here right now! I can assure you, you'll be in far more trouble if I have to go looking for you."
He looked in the classroom, and finding it empty, Snape's simmering anger was turning into incandescent rage. He rushed down the stairs to the library, but found it too was empty.
Not knowing what else to do, he began methodically checking each room of the house.
"Soren!" He called out loudly as he threw open every door in the West wing, searching each room, more and more haphazardly, slashing his wand through the air as he upended furniture and threw open curtains and wardrobes.
One by one, he checked every room upstairs, even his own (although he couldn't imagine Soren would have ever have the audacity, not to mention he kept strict wards on it).
Back downstairs, he searched the library once more, then the cloak room, the kitchen cupboards and pantry shouting the boy's name frantically, his anger slowly being replaced by concern.
It was already starting to get dark, but Snape ran out into the back gardens and the maze, calling out the boy's name as fear began to course through his body.
By the time he made his way back inside, he was in a full panic. Did Soren somehow leave the grounds of the manor? Was he that miserable that he felt like he needed to run away? And where the hell was Marie when he needed her!
"Tinny!"
Tinny popped up, wearing his apron. "Yes sir?"
"Where's Soren? I can't find him anywhere."
"I don't know, sir. Last time I saw him, he was in his room. He gave me this note." Tinny proudly pulled out Soren's letter, which predictably was fairly illegible, but it looked like "Sorey Tini" misspelled with half of the letters backward and the whole thing slanted on a downward angle. But there was a cute picture of what Snape assumed was supposed to be Soren and the little elf outside in the garden.
"What time did you see him last?"
"When I brought him a snack. Around 3 o'clock, sir."
"And you didn't see him after that?"
"No sir, I was in the elves' quarters getting dinner ready."
Snape and Tinny searched the whole manor again twice, running every "reveal" and "point-me" spell they could think of, completely certain now that Soren was not in the manor, and beginning to accept that the situation beyond grave.
As reluctant as he was to do it, Snape realized there was no choice, and even though it nearly killed him to do so, he pulled out his wand and cast a Patronus, falling back into his chair as the beautiful iridescent doe leaped out and disappeared into the dusk.
Minutes later, the floo roared and Harry Potter dusted himself off, a small smirk on his face. "You know, if you missed me so much, you could have just said so. Hearing your Patronus shout "Get to the manor, Potter. Now!' was a bit jarring for a Sunday evening.
Snape stared him down with an icy glare. "Soren is missing."
Harry's cheeky grin was immediately replaced by a look of horror. "What do you mean, missing?"
"What do you think I mean, Potter. He's gone. He's disappeared. He's not here." Snape spat each word, letting Harry take the brunt of his pent up emotions.
"Did you check everywhere? Maybe he's just hiding. Did you do a revealing spell?"
"Of course I did, you imbecile. He's not here. Why else would I have called you. He must have run away. Or perhaps the Ministry came and took him. They're the only ones who could get through my wards."
Harry shook his head. "No, they would never just take him without speaking to you first."
"Then he must have run away."
The words came out in Snape's usual harsh tone, but there was an uncharacteristic twinge of emotion in his voice that left Harry even more unsettled.
"Sir, I really don't think Soren would do that. He seemed happy here."
"He was probably angry because I grounded him to his room all day. Foolish child."
"Did he seem really upset when you left him?"
Snape thought back to the last few days, and he regretted so much of it. This was definitely his fault, and he knew it. He paused before he responded, composing himself. "It's been a…tense…few days. He was quite emotional last night and this morning, certainly acting out in a very uncharacteristic way. I could see he wasn't himself, but I didn't imagine—"
Deep emotion nearly caused Snape's voice to break, so he abruptly stopped speaking, refusing to appear as unbound as he felt. He paused and took a breath, stilling his face and composing himself. Then, with a single click of his tongue, Snape shook his head slowly, silently cursing himself. "I should have checked on him earlier."
Harry reflected for a moment, trying to imagine what could have possessed the little boy to run away when he seemed like he was settling in well. He knew Snape was strict, unyielding even, but from everything he'd seen in the last few weeks, Soren was thriving. All kids get angry with their parents from time to time, threaten to run away, but to actually do it? It didn't make sense.
"Where's Marie?"
"It's her day of Potter, how on earth should I know?"
"Could he have gone to find her? Maybe meet her somewhere? Or maybe she took him out somewhere and didn't tell you. Could she have left a note, maybe?" Harry knew he was grasping at straws, but he still couldn't fathom Soren just running away.
"Doubtful. She was gone before breakfast. Soren was quite perturbed that she left without waking him up to say goodbye, which no doubt contributed to his bitter mood today."
Both men stayed silent as Harry seated himself on the couch, crouched over deep in thought.
"If he really has left the manor, we need to go find him. It's getting dark."
Snape massaged his brow and then let his hand run down his face, exhaling audibly. "Obviously Potter, that's why I called you."
"And I think we should let the authorities know he's missing. We're going to need their help"
"I'm going to lose him," Snape said flatly. "But perhaps that's what he wants. What is best for him."
Harry stood back up and walked over to Snape with an authority that he rarely had to muster. "You are not going to lose him, Snape. We're going to do whatever we need to do to find him and bring him home safely. You're his father, he needs you. Now is not the time to sulk and feel sorry for yourself."
When Snape didn't fight back, or even bother to tear into him for his audacity, Harry grew even more worried, he'd never seen the man act this defeated.
"Listen, I'm going to go and speak with friends of mine at the Ministry. I'll do what I can to get a group of aurors working on it that I can trust to be discreet. But at the end of the day, all that matters is that Soren is safe, at this point nothing else matters. Everything else we can sort out later, right now his life is in danger and protecting your identity is the least of our concerns."
Snape nodded his head solemnly.
"I'll go now, you should probably stay here in case he comes back. And if you can, try to think about places he might go."
Harry put a reassuring hand on Snape's shoulder, surprised when the man allowed it. "We're going to find him. I promise."
Without another word, Snape stood and reached for the floo powder on the mantle, squinting his eyes at the mess around the bowl. Why would Ms. Cloutier be so careless?
"There's floo powder everywhere."
Harry looked at him quizzically before it struck him. "Oh Merlin, do you think Soren could've used the floo? He could be splinched. He could be anywhere!"
"Potter, I need you to have the Ministry run a trace on my floo. Then we can at least narrow down where we're looking." Snape temporarily snapped back into action mode, pushing his emotions out of the way, feeling a small inkling of hope that maybe now they had a lead. It was certainly their best hope. If the Ministry could give them a destination, they'd at least know where to start looking. Assuming he hadn't been splinched, of course, but Snape refused to allow himself to think of all the worst possibilities. Foolish boy .
"I will. I'll send news as soon as I have it." Harry grabbed a handful of the powder and disappeared back into the floo.
Even though he had far more important things to worry about, Snape was furious that Soren had gone through the floo, and if he ever got Soren back, he'd make sure he would never do anything so absurdly dangerous again.
If you get him back. You don't deserve to have him back. You're a complete failure in every way. Soren hates you. Marie hates you. You make everyone's life so miserable they'll take any chance they can to get far far away from you. If you really cared for the boy, you'd let him go. Let the Ministry take him and give him a real family. You're such a terrible father, he'd rather be an orphan alone on the streets than be here with you .
Snape collapsed again in his chair, leaning over with his head in his hands as close to tears as he'd been in years. Grief and regret poured through him and he coped the only way he knew how—He indulged himself in a downward spiral of self-loathing, his thoughts progressively getting so dark that he allowed himself to think briefly of the silver vial of potion he kept in a locked and warded box in the back of his wardrobe.
A vial that he'd worn on a chain around his neck every moment during his days as a spy. One sip to end it all. It was a necessity during the war, when he risked being captured and tortured, and he should have gotten rid of it long ago.
But he couldn't. As sick as it was, it made him feel safe. It was his dirty little secret, and something he would torture and tease himself with when he got stuck in the darkest parts of his mind.
It had been a long time since he'd thought about the vial. Even longer since he'd held it, rolling it around in his hands, sliding his fingers up and down the familiar silver bottle, running his thumb around the lid. Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly resigned, he'd even allow himself to open it, bringing the potion to his face to inhale the metallic, nutty, almost sickeningly sweet smell.
Coward. He'd always saved that word to berate himself viciously one last time before he closed the vial up again, never quite being able to bring himself to drink it.
Just as he began a fresh round of dark thoughts, the floo roared again, forcing Snape out of his mind and back to parlor. He looked up expecting to see Harry, but instead it was Marie.
"Hi." She tried to give him a soft smile, not knowing where things were between them. They hadn't exchanged a single word since she screamed at him in his study and then laid next to him all night on Soren's bed. But she'd spent the entire day thinking and she'd made up her mind that they needed to fix things.
"Nice of you to finally show up," Snape said bitterly, his voice dripping with disdain. He glanced up at the clock, only just now realizing how late it was, dinner time have long since passed.
Marie wrinkled her brow, her smile vanishing. "It's my day off, you know. I'm allowed to leave."
"Well next time you might have the courtesy to wait until Soren wakes up. He was so upset you didn't say goodbye, he has now run away."
Snape knew that wasn't how he should have handled sharing the news—and it certainly wasn't Marie's fault Soren was gone— but he was angry and scared, and seeing her had triggered all of the complicated emotions he didn't have a handle on. For whatever reason, seeing her face made him desperately want to spill his guts, tell her everything, allow her to comfort him. But he would never, so instead he lashed out with the only emotion he felt comfortable expressing.
"WHAT? What do you mean Soren ran away?" The color drained from her face and eyes went wide with fear. "Why are you being so calm? You should be out looking for him, not sitting here sipping your tea!"
"Potter's handling it. Someone has to be here in case he returns, and since you weren't around, I was the logical choice."
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's your son! You should be tearing the world apart looking for him!"
"There's a plan in place, Ms. Cloutier. Potter is at the Ministry, I'm to stay here until we have more information."
Marie sat on the couch in shock, her mind reeling. "You go. I can stay here in case he comes back." She put a hand over her mouth, tears building in her eyes as the realization hit her. "Oh my god, Lord Kent! You have to find him! He's only 7, someone could kidnap him or hurt him."
She'd tried to hold her tears, but she burst out in a sob, covering her face. "That poor boy, he must be so scared. Oh god, and it's dark out and starting to get so cold. He could freeze to death!"
"Don't you think I realize that? There's nothing else I can do right now and your irrational outbursts are not helping." He snapped at her, feeling instant relief at having somewhere to direct his emotions. And truthfully, he was glad she was back, he didn't want to deal with this alone—not that he'd ever say so.
A few seconds passed as Marie attempted to compose herself. The man was being a complete jerk, but he was right. Sitting and crying about it wasn't going to help anyone. She wiped her face and took a breath, trying to take it all in. After another minute of thinking, she shook her head and looked over at Lord Kent, growing angry at his emotionless face, just calmly sitting in his armchair as if it were any other Sunday evening.
She stood up and stalked toward him. "What are you doing still sitting here? Get up! Your son is missing!" Marie's voice was nearly an octave higher as she stood over him in disbelief. "You need to go find him! I don't care if there are 100 aurors looking for him, you're his father. Go! I'm here now, there's no excuse for you to stay."
"I can't," he replied flatly, finally allowing himself to dissociate completely from all of the excruciating feelings he was unable to process.
"What the fuck do you mean, you can't? Are you insane! That's your child!" Marie was shouting now. She was tempted to grab him and shake him, but she held back.
"It's complicated."
"SOREN IS YOUR SON! How is that complicated? Get off your ass and go find him!"
"Lower. Your. Voice." Snape growled, clenching his jaw and allowing his eyes to bore into hers as he stood from his chair.
But Marie refused to back down, and she lashed out, tears coming again as she angrily grabbed his frock coat, a combination of anger and desperation. "What is wrong with you! Your 7 year-old son is missing, and you're sitting in the parlor like it's no big deal. And don't you dare tell me to lower my voice!"
Snape gripped both of her wrists tightly, yanking her hands off of his clothes before tossing them harshly away from him. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
Not trusting himself to contain his rage, he moved past her, incapable of hearing another word. He wanted to break something. He wanted to scream. He wanted to blast the manor to pieces and punch his fists into the stone walls until his hands were broken and bleeding.
"Don't you dare walk away! That's what you always do. Go hide in your study or the dungeons and refuse to deal with anything. You don't deserve Soren!" Marie screamed at his back as he walked toward the stairs.
He turned briefly to speak. "I agree. He's far better off without me."
"No. NO! You don't get to do that to him!" Marie ran after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. "He needs you! Please. Please go find him!"
Marie collapsed at his feet, grabbing him around his legs, pleading and sobbing, staring up at him. "He loves you. He needs you. I'd die if anything happened to him. And I know you love him too. Why aren't you doing something? How can you leave him out there? Please go find him. Please!"
He reached down and pulled her off of the floor, holding her firmly by both arms as he stared into her tear-streaked face, speaking firmly to her, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Soren is not coming back here, Ms. Cloutier, even if they find him. I suggest you pack your things. I will pay you your year's salary, but your services are no longer required."
Snape turned around, leaving Marie dumbstruck as he mounted the stairs.
"What do you mean? What the hell does that even mean?!"
She shouted up at him, but Snape ignored her, continuing up the steps toward his study.
"Answer me dammit!"
Just as reached the landing, Marie sprinted up after him, pulling out her wand as she did so. "I swear to Merlin I will use every hex I know til you tell me what is going on." For good measure—and because he still refused to respond to her—she shot out a stinging hex that hit him squarely across the back.
The spell lashed at him like a whip, but Snape needed to feel pain right now and he paused and closed his eyes, allowing himself to bask in the burn. Under any normal circumstance, he'd never allow another person to raise their wand at him, much less strike at him from behind, but he was so far gone at the moment, he almost relished it.
When he still didn't respond, Marie grew furious, sending several stronger hexes, one after the other, slashing him with spells over and over until she was out of energy and she knew his entire body had to be throbbing with pain.
Not knowing what else to do, she shouted out once more with the only thing she could think of. "If you don't explain to me what is going on right now, I don't even care, I'll Imperius you until you do."
Marie didn't even know where that came from, she'd never threatened to use an Unforgivable curse, and in fact she wasn't even sure if she could do it she wanted to, but she was desperate to get his attention. And she succeeded.
Before she could even have a moment to regret her words, Snape whirled around, drawing his wand and disarming her faster than she even thought possible, blasting her wand so far out of her hand that she didn't even see what direction it flew.
"Have you lost your mind?" Snape stalked toward her, summoning her wand to him in the process and tucking it into his coat. He stared down at her, fury flashing in his eyes. "Don't you ever ever threaten me or anyone else with an Unforgivable Curse." He enunciated every word through clenched teeth. "Get out of my sight."
"No." Marie's heart was racing but she stood her ground. Lord Kent loomed over her and for the first time, she felt truly afraid of him, the powerful energy and magic radiating off of him was beyond description. "Not until you tell me what is going on."
He narrowed his eyes. "I owe you no explanation. You've had your little tantrum, now pack your things. You'll get your wand on your way out the door."
"I'm not leaving. I'm not going to have Soren think that I abandoned him as well. If you don't want to go looking for him, then I will. And I won't give up 'til I find him, at which point, you'll have to rip him out of my arms."
Marie was about to launch into another scathing rant when the floo roared downstairs.
"We've found him!" Harry shouted. "Where are you?"
Relief flowed through Snape and he exhaled sharply, taking a moment to compose himself as Marie flew down the stairs ahead of him, reaching the parlor in record time, Snape only seconds behind her.
"Oh thank God!" She launched herself into Harry giving him an enormous hug. "Where is he? Why isn't he with you?"
"He's in St. Mungos. That's all the information I have. He's in the custody of the Ministry as they have yet to confirm his identity. He was unable to speak when they found him."
Snape's heart-wrenched and he closed his eyes, hating himself even more, praying Soren would be alright.
Before he had a chance to enquire further, Marie blurted out. "Is he OK? What happened? Can we see him? We should go right now!"
"I don't have all of the details…I'm just putting pieces together from the few contacts I have." Harry hesitated for a moment before he broke the hardest news. "It's just…"
Losing his patience, Snape lashed out. "Well, what happened to him? Spit it out Potter."
"I'm not entirely sure. The aurors have launched a full investigation. The trace on the floo showed Soren went to Diagon Alley, which is exactly where he was found. And it appears someone has cursed him, with some unusual and very dark spells. That's really all I know, and I was lucky to get that much."
Marie turned toward Lord Kent, whose face was still, but whose eyes were full of pain. "You should go to St. Mungo's straight away. Soren needs you, he's probably terrified."
Snape paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's not that simple."
"Oh for fuck's sake, then I'll go. Someone should be there with him!" Marie stomped toward the fireplace, reaching up to grab the floo powder before turning back. "I need my wand back."
"I don't think they'll let you see him, Marie," Harry said gently, putting a hand on her back and replacing the bowl of floo powder on the mantel. "He's in protective custody in a secure ward, no one is allowed to see him besides a few specialized healers and certain people from the Children's Ministry."
Harry looked at Snape who hadn't moved a muscle during the entire conversation. "I think you'll need to make some decisions, sir. Rather quickly."
"I've made my decision, Potter. Soren will stay in the Ministry's custody. It's better for everyone that way."
END NOTES: If you're still here- thank you! I've missed you all and I hope you "enjoyed" the update even though this chapter is angsty AF. I always love getting your comments, so please let know what you're thinking and if you still want to read this! ️