I DO NOT OWN BALDER'S Gate 3.

Note before you read: Anastasia is my Tav from one of my playthroughs. She is a drow sorcerer/wizard. She does have the eye from Volvo in addition to her regular red eye. Her hair is not the traditional white drow hair. It is short and red with black highlights. Some decisions that were made in the playthrough may be reflected in the story. Other things are made up. I will always disclose if there is dialogue from the game, as I do not own it and want to give credit to the amazing writers behind the game.

Chapter 1

"You are a pawn, not a queen."

Your words burn in my mind. How? How did I mean so little to you? After all we've been through. All those sleepless nights, the countless times you told me I love you….were they all a lie? Do I really mean so little to you? So little that you would send me away? Away from all I have known for the last hundred years? Away from you, my first and only love? Away from the life we have built together? I feel the tears threatening to fall, but I cannot let them. I can't show weakness to anyone. Maybe this is one of his jokes…a cruel joke. I reach for my ring band and twist it. Maybe this will calm me down.

"Amelia will be my queen. You, pawn, will report to the outer wall."

I increase the speed of my ring twisting. This is suppose to be helping. Why are these damn tears still falling? I stop twisting my ring and let emotion take over me. I fall to the ground and cry. Why Astarion? Why are you treating me like this? Ever since you ascended…ever since you came into power…after we defeated the elder brain…you have changed. At one time those hands fought with me, loved me, and protected me. I did the same for you. I taught you so much. I taught you that you were not just Cazador's spawn. That you have your own thoughts and feelings. That you are your own person. Once I accomplished that, I taught you to love. Those many nights we spent exploring each other's bodies. Now, those hands are used to torment me. What have I done wrong? I did everything right. Once I became your lover…no. Who am I kidding? He never considered me to be his lover. He used me for my magic. He used me for my body. He used me to satisfy his own needs. He knew from the beginning he would never love me.

Well, now you get what you want. A powerful queen by your side…and a spawn sent to the battlefield to get killed. What a perfect life you will live. I pick myself up as I wipe my tears. I need to get to my room before more tears fall. Quickly, I move down this hall. This hallway…I have walked it thousands, if not a million, times. Yet, I do not recognize it. Dark curtains blocked out any light from peaking inside. Not like there was much to see. Gray walls are not something that most people are interested in. They just add another layer of depression to this place. They go well with the decapitated heads on pillars. It looks like these heads will have to be placed soon. One of the other spawns will handle it.

Turning the left corner, I see some servants chatting amongst each other as they work. They stop once I turn the corner. They lowered their heads and remained quiet until I passed them. Shortly after, I hear them returning to their conversation. A conversation I do not want to hear: "Finally we are getting a queen. I hear she is coming today."

"What about Anastasia? I thought she was the queen." At least someone has my back. I don't want to hear the answer so I quickly move out of earshot. Next thing I know, I'm at my room…no…cell. The guards bow and open the door for me. I nod, thanking them. Then I wave my hands to dismiss them. They nod and leave as I enter. My small bed, my chest, and desk with quills and ink was all that was in there. No windows, no closet, no privacy. Opening my chest, I kneel down to begin looking through the contents. Lots of clothes I have not worn in decades. I pull them all out and open a false bottom. There my three journals lay. All three were leather bound with a string bookmark. Various gems were embedded into the covers. I picked up the one on the far left and flipped through the pages. It is about a quarter full. I haven't written on these pages in ages. Since it may-no. It will be my last time. He has no intention of bringing me back.

I pick up the book as I stand up and move to my desk. I take out my quill and ink as I sit in my chair. I am almost out of ink…not a surprise. I won't be needing it where I am going. Once again the tears begin falling down. No. I just got them under control.

"You have gotten soft and weak."

I immediately jump and turn around in my chair. No one was there. Well, at least my tears have stopped. However, now my heart is racing. I am surprised it can still pump that fast. I thought when he transformed me that my heart rate would be slower and not as strong. I turn back to my journal. What should I write? It's not like anyone is going to read it. If they did, I bet they wouldn't care. Astarion has already altered the truth to make himself look good. Nothing I say here will change that. He has erased everything, including us. Picking up the quill, I start.

I apologize for not writing sooner. It has not been easy since the last time I wrote. What has it been? Four, maybe five decades? Maybe even longer. Astarion was not pleased last time I wrote here. He somehow found out about you, and read you. He was not happy at all. We know what happens when he is not happy. I reached around and touched my back as much as I could. That day I received the worst punishment I have ever received from him. That was the day I realized that he had stopped loving me. Once I managed to move, I got you back from him and hid you, safe away from him with your sisters. A place you three were safe. Unfortunately, our reunion is going to be short lived. I am sent out to the battlefield tomorrow. Astarion pissed off some dwarfs in the mountains. Now they attack at random times. He needs someone to go there and be in charge at night. That is what he says at least.

I know the real reason: he wants me killed so he doesn't have to get his hands dirty.

Don't get me wrong, he will get his hands dirty when he needs to. He has someone else ready to be his queen and I am not even dead yet. But then again, how can I blame him? She is beautiful. Pale skin with gorgeous long black hair. And her eyes, they are scarlet red. I have seen her fight, and she is strong in battle. She is strong, and clever. She is three steps ahead of the enemy. She looks great next to him. They look like a real power couple… Tears started to fall again again, getting on the paper. I don't even care anymore. Last time we got our portrait done was about two years after we defeated the elder brain. My dusk-toned skin remained. My red and black hair is still short. I refuse to go back to my natural white hair. I don't want to look like any other drow. My left eye never changed during the transformation because it was already red. My prosthetic eye has reminded. I still have not gotten use to it. I still go cross-eyed sometimes when I am talking to my friends. They laugh when it happens, make jokes, and we continue on with what we were discussing before. Astarion on the other hand…he threatens to remove my eye if I can't control it. I just started looking down.

A knock jumps me out of my thoughts. I turn to find a female spawn standing there with a scrying eye behind her. She bowed. "Master would like to see you in his office immediately," she said. In his office? I'm not allowed in his office ever. I want to ask if she is sure, but the scrying eye makes me think twice. I nod, thanking her as I stood up. She bowes again and leaves. The scrying eye follows. He must be telling me I will leave the next night since it is almost daytime. I place the open book in my chest and close the chest. Before leaving the room, I pause. Something doesn't feel right. He has not allowed me in his office for at least one century. I bet he is trying to set me up in order to punish me again. No. I won't let that happen. Going into my desk, I open the false bottom and pull out a box. It is divided in two. One side has cotton balls. The other side has ear wax from a gnome. I combine the two ingredients and make it so I can't hear any commands he may give me. Mostly I can read lips now, so he won't realize it at first. Yes he will get mad but oh well. It's not like this is the first time I've done it.

Leaving my room, I head to his office. Why in all of Faerun does he want to meet me there? Oh. I know why. That is where he keeps his maps if I remember correctly. I guess he wants to show me where I am going to die. Hopefully it is at least somewhere with a pretty view. As I walk down the hall, I see the other spawns quickly moving to their room. That means the sun is coming up. Why would Astarion be calling me now? I am walking up to the tower where his office is located. Why the Hells did I not grab my dagger? Why can't I shake this feeling, even as I get closer to his office. I prepare to cast true strike to protect myself. Once I see Astarion then I will release the spell. Step by step, I ascend the stairs until I come to his door. I pause then knock before opening the door. Looking around, I find that he is not here. Odd. If this was an important issue, why is he not here? I enter the room, my guard still up.

In front of me, I see the curtain on the balcony open and the sun was starting to rise. Quickly, I run over to close it. I won't risk either of us getting burned…even though burning his ass sounds like a good idea. I extended my hand and grabbed the velvet red curtain. I walk it towards the correct place. The curtain is closed now. Good. Where the hell is Astarion? I turn around only to be met with something sharp slashing down the left side of my face. Immediately my left eye shuts and I jump back, only to be met with the curtain. I look up and see the blade coming down again and I jump to the right. Dammit! What the hell is Astarion-Wait. That's not Astarion. A figure in all black stood in front of me. Quickly, I cast darkness to move away. Crap, I can't see well. This person is good. I didn't hear a damn thing. Quickly I find a corner and wait. Ok. I need a plan-

A blade stabbed me in my right shoulder and I screamed. I throw my right hand up only to be met with a blade into the palm. Then suddenly I can't move it. I try to swing with my left hand only to have the same thing happen. The darkness cleared as a sword went into my stomach. Even if I am a vampire spawn, I don't think I am surviving this. I throw up some blood. My assailant grinned. I stared up at him to see if I could determine what he was saying with one eye open. This was the wrong time to have put some wax in my ears.

"Pity. My benefactor…more of a challenge," he said. "...blades…holy…monsters…you…suffer." As he said that I felt my palms and stomach start to burn. Damnit. Think Anastasia think! What to do? Wait. He said benefactor. Did Astarion really-no. Why would he send me away if he was going to send an assassin to kill me? A cool blade on my cheeks brought me back from my thoughts. I looked up. For the first time, I got a good look at this person. Only their face and body were covered. However, his gold eyes stared straight at me. "Such beautiful skin. Drow… the prettiest shades." I felt the blade move down to my top. I gave a pitiful struggle.

I glared and showed my fangs as I said, "Don't touch me filth."

They let out a laugh. "Funny…condition you are in. Before…steak…heart I…have…fun." His hands went to the top of my dress and he cut it open. He pulled back the layers to reveal my chest. He grinned. "Damn." He touched my neck with his cold hand, right on Astarion's mark. The mark that transformed me into his spawn. The mark that I now regret. His hand lowered as it went to my waist to cut my skirt on one side. Then he pressed himself against me. He smells like the Hells. Is he a tiefling? I tried to bite him. My attempt failed, and I was smacked across the face.

"Behave or else."

My body started to shake. Astarion may not love me and want me dead, but I know he would never allow this. Several times he has punished guards, servants, and others for attempting this act. Tears fell again as I felt his hands wander my body. No. I can't let this happen. Out of fear, I did the only thing I could think to do. I screamed and yelled, "Astarion, help me please! Astarion!" The assailant growled and sliced my throat.

"We could…had…fun little drow…die." He walked over to the curtain to the balcony. Immediately, he threw back the curtain to reveal the sun rising. The bright sun hit me, burning my skin. Immediately I struggled. However, I could not move. I am still pinned and have lost to much blood. I watched as the person left through the balcony. The intensity of my tears increased as I felt my body burning. Memories flood my mind. First it was the moment I met Astarion. Next was memories of Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart, and others. I remember my first night with Astarion. I remember the day that Elminster gave Gale the news from Mystra. I remember when Astarion confessed his feelings. Finally, the last thing that came to my mind was Astarion's smile. The smile that made my heart melt. I will never see that smile again. My eyes shut as the darkness surrounds me.