The house felt so empty, emptier than usual.

Where had he and Joanne gone wrong? All the talks, all the counseling, it had been all for nothing.

In the end, Joanne had packed up as much as their matched set of luggage would hold and had driven away to stay with her mother. The same mother who had long ago told Joanne that she would regret marrying that man.

She surely regretted it now.

As much as Roy wanted to deny it, Joanne walking out the door meant their marriage was likely over. Twenty-plus years, two kids, all the ups and downs and everything in between, it was gone. Gone.

It was his own fault, he knew that. If he had never seen Johnny again at that damn convention, hell, if he had never gone in the first place, he and Joanne might have been able to keep up the illusion of a normal marriage. If he had never seen Johnny again, those feelings would have stayed buried, and Roy never would have given it a second thought.

But that chance meeting had cracked everything wide open, and things would never be the same.

He finished his coffee and set it on the counter before crossing to the phone, dialing the now familiar number and waiting as it rang. "You've reached John and Kevin. Leave a message after the beep."

Roy took a deep breath before the tone sounded. "Hey, Johnny. It's Roy. I need to talk to you. Please call me back."

He hung up the phone and leaned against the counter, staring at the floor. Everything he had ever known had been ripped out from under him, and he had no idea what to do.

Maybe seeing Johnny would help him figure it out.

# # #

Johnny leaned against the wall of the hot tub, his arms stretched out, his head tilted back, his eyes closed as Kevin straddled him, starting a line of kisses up his neck.

He loved days like this, when his and Kevin's schedules lined up, and they had nothing planned other than this. Nothing better than a hot man and a cold beer on a Friday night, Kevin had told him that first time he'd come down here to see him. That, of course, had long since expanded to damn near any day, any time, and Johnny had long since come to agree with Kevin's assessment.

"You hear that?" Kevin murmured against his jaw.

"Hmm…not really." Johnny managed to answer.

"Sounded like the phone." Kevin replied. "Might be important."

"They can leave a damn message." Johnny responded roughly, his hands spreading out across Kevin's back. "We're busy."

Kevin laughed at that, and they were soon tangled up in each other, the phone call long forgotten as Johnny got lost in the intense pleasure he was experiencing. He rode that wave as long as he could, finishing with a shudder as he buried his face in the space where Kevin's shoulder and neck met, leaving a kiss on his collarbone.

"Mmm, that was good." Kevin murmured, wrapping his arms fully around Johnny. "I'm going to grab a beer. You want one?"

"Sure." Johnny answered, releasing Kevin and leaning back against the wall of the hot tub.

"Back in a minute." Kevin kissed him lightly. "Don't go anywhere."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Johnny watched as Kevin climbed out of the hot tub and padded toward the kitchen. Even after all this time, Johnny couldn't keep his eyes off him, or his hands, for that matter. Things were still almost as hot between them as they'd been that first night in San Francisco.

Kevin soon returned with a beer in each hand, and he handed one to Johnny before sinking back into the hot tub. "Checked messages while I was inside. Roy called. You might want to call him back."

"I will." Johnny accepted the beer and stretched his arm across Kevin's shoulders.

Kevin's brows wrinkled in concern as he moved in closer. "He sounded…well, a little distressed."

"You sure know how to kill the mood." Johnny huffed, taking a long drink. "Okay, let me finish my beer and then I'll call him."

They lingered for a while longer until Johnny drained his bottle. No sense putting this off any longer.

He climbed out of the hot tub and dried off, tugging on a pair of shorts before padding to the kitchen and hitting the button on the answering machine. "Hey, Johnny. It's Roy. I need to talk to you. Please call me back."

Kevin had called it right. Roy sounded distressed. But why? As far as he knew, things were going well between him and Joanne, the kids were doing well.

There was only one way to find out. Johnny picked up the cordless phone and punched in the familiar number, waiting while it rang. It only took two rings before someone answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Roy."

"Johnny." Roy sounded as on edge as Johnny had ever heard him. That alone was enough to make Johnny worry.

"Roy, what's going on?" Johnny tried not to let his worry show.

"She's gone."

"Who's gone?" Johnny asked. "What're you talking about?"

"Jo." Roy answered, his tone suggesting he was damn close to going over that edge emotionally. "Jo's gone. She left. Packed as much as she could carry and…left."

Johnny heard the slider door close, and he turned to see Kevin giving him a questioning look. Johnny shrugged before returning to his call with Roy. "What happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"It's…I don't know. It's hard to explain." Roy answered in a resigned tone. "Been a long time coming, probably. I…can I come see you? I just need…I just need to talk to someone."

"Hey, yeah, of course." Johnny assured him. "You wanna meet somewhere? Or come to the house? Whatever you need."

Kevin nodded firmly at Johnny's suggestion, gesturing to him. "Hold on, Roy." He held his hand over the receiver. "What?"

"Tell him to come here." Kevin told him. "I can have the spare room fixed up in no time."

"Okay, I'll tell him." Johnny replied before putting the phone to his ear again. "Roy? Just pack up and come on down here for a couple days. We'll talk it out, okay?"

Roy let out a sigh. "Okay. Thanks. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Roy." Johnny told him. "Just come on down. We'll be here."

"Okay. See you in a while."

"Bye." Johnny pushed the button on the cordless handset and placed it back in its cradle with a huff. "Shit."

"What's going on?" Kevin asked.

"Things blew up between him and Joanne." Johnny told him. "She packed up and bailed out. Roy's a wreck."

"I'd imagine so." Kevin frowned. "I have to admit, I didn't see that situation working out."

"Guess you'd know better than I would."

Kevin arched an eyebrow. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You know." Johnny tried to explain. "Being married, knowing you were, well, the way you were."

"Babe, that's just what people did." Kevin pointed out. "It wasn't that long ago."

Johnny leaned on the counter, picking at a spot on the countertop. "You don't get it. Those two, they were the perfect couple. I mean, perfect."

Kevin laughed, coming up behind Johnny to squeeze his shoulders. "Those two were far from perfect. You just idealized them."

"Hey, save the armchair psychology, huh?" Johnny lightly patted Kevin's hand. "Anyway, weren't you going to fix up the guest room?"

"With your help, yes." Kevin smacked Johnny's rear. "Come on."

By the time they had the guest room arranged and the rest of the house cleaned up, Johnny heard a car pull into the driveway. Shadow was immediately interested, hopping up on the back of the couch to watch intently as Roy climbed out, pulled out a bag from the back seat, and started toward the house.

He spotted Johnny, nodding as he came up the walk and entered the house. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself." Johnny answered, unsure what to do. "We've got the guest room all set up. You can drop your bag in there."

"Thanks." Roy answered, but he stayed where he was, staring past Johnny at some spot on the floor. He looked as if he was about to fall apart.

"Come here." Johnny stepped toward him and wrapped his arms around Roy.

It took Roy a moment, but he responded in kind with a shaky sigh. Johnny could only hold on to him, gently rubbing him between his shoulder blades.

"Whatever's going on between you and Jo, we're gonna figure it out, okay?" Johnny told him quietly. "It's gonna be okay."

He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Roy or if he was trying to convince himself.

# # #

Roy lay on the bed in the guest room, listening as Johnny and Kevin went about what he assumed was just an ordinary day for them. He caught bits and pieces of conversation, their teasing, their laughter, both of them fussing over that damn cat of theirs.

The door pushed open, and Roy heard a plaintive 'mrow?'. He rolled to his side to see Shadow sitting on the floor, looking up at him.

"Shadow, get out of there." Johnny scolded her. "Leave him alone."

"It's okay." Roy responded before patting the mattress. "Come on."

Shadow jumped up on the bed and immediately butted her head against Roy's hand. He stroked the cat for a moment before she flopped down on her side with her belly exposed.

"Oh, no you don't." Roy told her. "You're not gonna fool me like that again."

Johnny let out a soft laugh and moved to pick her up, holding her close and scratching her head. "Dinner's just about on if you want some."

"Suppose I should." Roy answered, rolling himself into a sitting position and letting his feet dangle for a moment before sliding down and following Johnny out of the room.

Kevin was at the stove finishing the stir-fry, and he gave Roy a quick smile. "Hi. How'd you sleep?"

"Okay, I think." Roy answered, sitting down on one of the bar stools in front of the counter. "Didn't plan on knocking out for that long."

"Must have needed it." Johnny responded casually as he set Shadow down and went for the refrigerator. "You want a beer?"

"Yes." Kevin and Roy chorused, causing Johnny to glance over his shoulder for a moment before he shook his head and grabbed three bottles. He popped the tops off all three of them before crossing the kitchen, touching one of them to Kevin's back, causing him to jump.

He huffed quietly and shook his head. "He's such a child." He told Roy.

"And yet you love me anyway." Johnny replied airily, kissing Kevin on the cheek before setting a bottle down in front of Roy with a wink.

Roy couldn't help the stab of jealousy he felt, mixed in with his own sorrow at the state of his marriage. There was a time when he could tease Joanne and produce a smile and a girlish giggle.

He couldn't remember the last time that had happened.

"Oddly enough, yes." Kevin answered. "Make yourself useful and get down some bowls, would you?"

Johnny did so, and they were soon all dished up and sitting out on the deck in the early evening sun. It was so peaceful out here, a different kind of peace than Roy had at his own suburban home.

No wonder Johnny liked it here so much. He had everything. It was odd, how somehow Johnny had been the one who had found security and serenity, and Roy was the one floundering.

He didn't wish Johnny ill, certainly, but it did feel more than a little unfair.

"You're awfully quiet over there." Johnny observed.

Roy swallowed a bite and followed it with a swig of beer. "It's nothing. This is really good."

Johnny smiled a little at that. "That's all Kev's doing. He got a wild hair up his ass a while back and decided to take some cooking classes."

"Only because there's only so much Stoker spaghetti a man can take." Kevin countered.

Johnny rolled his eyes, but with a smile. "Come on, man. I make other things, too."

"Stoker spaghetti is pretty damn good." Roy acknowledged. "Caused one hell of a fight between me and Jo, though."

"Oh, yeah." Johnny laughed quietly at that. "Thought Jo was gonna kill me."

"I was first on that firing line, remember?" Roy pointed out.

Johnny turned to Kevin. "I really was trying to help."

"I believe you, babe." Kevin merely looked amused.

Roy shrugged. "Suppose it's all water under the bridge now."

Johnny's expression changed to one of concern, but Roy shook his head. "Johnny, it's okay. Really."

Johnny arched an eyebrow. "If it was okay, you wouldn't be here."

They all fell silent as they finished their meals, and Kevin rose to take dishes in. Johnny started to get up. "Kev, I've got 'em."

"Don't worry about it." Kevin laid a hand on Johnny's shoulder.

"Just leave 'em." Johnny told him, briefly resting his hand over Kevin's. "I'll clean up before I come to bed."

"Well, I'm at least going to get leftovers put away." Kevin answered. "You two talk."

With that Kevin disappeared, leaving Johnny and Roy alone in the growing twilight. All was silent until Johnny broke it. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

Roy sighed heavily, playing with his beer bottle. "I don't know. A lot of things, I guess. We've been trying for so long, ever since…well, ever since that convention, I guess."

Johnny frowned at that. "I thought you guys had that all figured out. Jo seemed okay with the way things were going."

"I thought she was, too." Roy huffed irritably. "We've been going to counseling, we've been working on our marriage, everything we're supposed to do."

Johnny seemed to study him. "There's something you're not telling me."

Roy felt something twist deep inside him. Johnny was always able to sniff out when Roy wasn't telling the whole truth, and this one was a whopper. "We talked about trying to open things up."

Johnny's eyebrows shot straight up. "Jesus, Roy."

"No, it was, well, it was fine. Jo was on board. At least, she said she was." Roy started to explain. "We had it figured out. We had rules, we came to an agreement."

"I can't believe she agreed to that." Johnny shook his head.

"It was supposed to be an experiment." Roy continued. "Maybe just one time. Just to, you know, get it out of my system. Maybe…maybe to prove that there really wasn't anything to it. But it wasn't just one time. I…I don't know what I thought I was doing. Looking for something, I don't know."

"And Jo got tired of it and left." Johnny replied, with a distinctively judgmental tone in his voice. "Well, Roy, I can't say I blame her."

Roy scoffed. "Somehow I knew you were gonna take her side."

"It's not about sides, Roy." Johnny shot back. "For Christ's sake, what is wrong with you? You're wrecking your marriage, and for what? For what?"

"You and Kevin manage it." Roy argued defensively. "You've told me."

"And you thought you and Jo could, too." Johnny seemed to calm slightly, nodding. "Listen, that's not for everyone. And we don't do that nearly as much as we used to. Mostly for safety reasons, but mostly because it's not that exciting anymore. Hell, I'm getting old. I'd rather stay home."

Roy couldn't help the resentment that was bubbling up inside him. "Well, Johnny, you got to have a misspent youth. I didn't."

"That was your choice." Johnny told him bluntly. "You could have had that, too. You didn't. And you can't make up for lost time. It doesn't work that way."

"Well hell, Johnny, I might as well now, huh?" Roy replied sharply. "Jo's gone. She's not coming back. When that woman's mind is made up, nothing's gonna change it."

"So, that's it?" Johnny challenged him. "You're just giving up?"

"You don't understand—"

"Oh, I understand just fine." Johnny rose from his chair. "You had everything, and you threw it away. You need to fix this."

"There's nothing to fix, Johnny." Roy followed him inside.

Johnny turned around, almost nose to nose with Roy, those dark eyes boring into him, his jaw set in the way it always was when he was good and angry about something. And God help him, it was stirring up a desire Roy thought he had long since buried.

I do love you, Roy. Probably just not in the way you want me to.

Roy closed his eyes, willing his heart and his breath to just slow down already. He wasn't going to get what he really wanted, Johnny had made that clear long ago.

Still, he couldn't help himself. All those nights he spent at the bars, seeking out men with dark hair and dark eyes, men who carried themselves with an air of casual ease and confidence. None of them ever seemed quite right, and he knew why.

"Johnny, I—" His voice broke, and he could only rest his head against Johnny's shoulder.

Johnny immediately gathered him in his arms and pulled him in close. "I know. I know."

If only it was as simple as this, just being here with Johnny. But Roy knew damn well it wasn't. Maybe he'd always had that thought in the back of his mind, that if everything fell apart, he could run to Johnny, and he would somehow make things right again.

That was foolish, Roy realized that now.

Still, Johnny was here, and willing to hold him up, literally and figuratively, and that was worth something. It didn't make up for Joanne leaving. Nothing would. But it helped.

Finally, Roy pulled back, clapping Johnny lightly on the shoulder. "Thanks."

Johnny nodded, still clearly concerned. "I'm gonna get things cleaned up. You want another beer?"

"Sure."

Johnny crossed to the refrigerator and grabbed two more beers, popping them open and handing one to Roy. "Guess I'm gonna need to make a store run. Wasn't counting on company."

"Sorry." Roy answered as he sat down on one of the bar stools.

Johnny merely shrugged as he took a swig of his own beer and started running dish water. "Not a big deal. Better that you're here than being miserable by yourself."

"Right. Why not be miserable here?" Roy commented dryly.

Johnny smiled a little at that. "Hey, you'll have some company and you'll get fed. And you know it's always good to see you. Don't get to see you nearly often enough."

Roy felt a twinge of guilt at that. "That's not entirely my doing."

"I know that." Johnny responded calmly. "My fault as much as yours."

Roy took a drink of his beer. "You know, it's funny. For all that talk of staying in touch, we've done a pretty bad job of it."

Johnny nodded, his expression turning thoughtful. "Well, maybe some good came out of this after all."

"Maybe."

Kevin wandered out to the kitchen, dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers, passing by Johnny with a squeeze of his shoulder and a kiss on the cheek. The way Johnny lit up at the move made something squeeze deep inside Roy's chest.

He couldn't help it, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Johnny finished cleaning up while Kevin set up the coffee maker, and Kevin soon crossed back with another squeeze of Johnny's shoulder and a quick kiss. "Well, some of us have to work tomorrow, so I'm off to bed."

Roy finished off his beer and set down the bottle a little harder than he intended. "I'm feeling a little worn out myself."

"Sounds like an early night all around." Johnny commented.

It wasn't long before the house was dark and quiet, and Roy found himself staring at the ceiling.

There had to be something he could do to fix this. There just had to be.

# # #

Johnny lay awake, shifting around in an attempt to settle himself down. The whole conversation with Roy wouldn't quit replaying in his head.

What the hell was wrong with Roy? He had it all, a wife who loved him, two amazing kids, a flourishing career that would have him on track to make battalion chief before long. Why would he throw it all away? It made no sense.

He let out a heavy sigh, causing Kevin to stir next to him. "Settle down, will you?" He murmured.

"Sorry." Johnny answered quietly. "Just thinking."

"Think more quietly." Kevin replied, shifting so that one arm lay across Johnny's stomach. "Trying to sleep."

Johnny placed a hand over Kevin's arm, trying to push thoughts of Roy and his crumbling marriage out of his mind. He'd done it to himself, so why was Johnny somehow the one tied up in knots over it?

Part of that answer was easy. He liked Joanne, had from the first time Roy had invited him over after shift. She had let him in, made him part of the family. And maybe that was another part of it. It felt as if his family was coming apart, and yeah, he did feel more than a little caught in the middle.

It wasn't that he wanted to take sides. But it was hard not to.

He let out another sigh, and Kevin shifted next to him. "I'm going to make you sleep in the other room if you don't knock it off." He grumbled.

"Can't." Johnny tried to answer lightly. "It's occupied."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Kevin replied. "And neither would you."

"We're not having that conversation again."

"You're right, we're not." Kevin responded. "Because I'm going back to sleep."

At some point, Johnny must have, too, because the next sound he heard was Kevin's alarm going off. He automatically rose to join him.

It was a familiar morning ritual, one they'd engaged in ever since Johnny had moved in here. Some days they were both going in, other days, it was one or the other. There was just something about it that Johnny found oddly comfortable.

"What was that crack you made last night?" Johnny asked as he sat at the counter with his mug of coffee.

"Ah, thought you didn't want to have that conversation again." Kevin responded as he smeared peanut butter on his toast and took a bite.

"I'm not into him that way." Johnny told him. "Not anymore."

Kevin shrugged. "You might want to remind him."

"Christ." Johnny huffed. "That's not why he's here."

"Are you sure?" Kevin asked gently. "You already know it would be okay if—"

"Stop it." Johnny cut him off.

Kevin merely looked amused. "You have twenty-four hours without me and someone to spend it with. How you spend it is entirely up to you. And don't tell me you don't feel something for him. I know damn well you do."

Johnny fell silent at that. He had to admit that he'd felt something when he'd pulled Roy in close, but he couldn't fully define what it was. There had been a time when he would have been all over Roy if he'd said the word, no questions asked, Joanne be damned.

But those days were long gone, or so he thought.

Johnny shook his head. "I'm not gonna help him finish off what's left of his marriage."

"I hate to say it, but I think that ship has sailed." Kevin told him, popping the last bit of toast in his mouth and rounding the counter to give Johnny a quick kiss. "I love you, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you, too."

After Kevin left, Johnny sat at the counter, drinking his coffee and contemplating Kevin's words. It was hard to believe that there was a time when the prospect of a day alone with Roy would have fulfilled one of his deepest desires.

No, this was settled. That had been settled back in Chicago. He was going to talk some sense into Roy, insist that he make things right with Joanne. It was the right thing to do.

"Morning." Roy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Morning." Johnny slid down from the stool. "There's still some coffee if you want some. I was gonna start another pot."

Roy responded with a rueful smile. "I could use all you've got."

Johnny managed a short laugh as he found another mug and filled it, setting it in front of Roy. "Rough night, huh?"

"Could say that."

Johnny crossed back over to the coffee maker to start another pot, that worry creeping into his thoughts again.

"Kept thinking about things." Roy continued. "How I've been trying to get…whatever this is out of my system."

"Doesn't work like that, Roy."

"Yeah, I know that now." Roy nodded, staring into his coffee mug. "I really thought I'd gotten comfortable with the idea that I could love you and love Joanne, but…I don't know when that stopped being good enough."

"You sure this isn't some midlife crisis?" Johnny asked, hoping to lighten things up just a little. "You know, some guys buy sports cars, some guys buy motorcycles, you, you decided to start screwing around with other men."

"I didn't." Roy answered quietly.

That threw Johnny. "What do you mean, you didn't?"

"I mean…I started to, you know? But something always stopped me from following through."

"Did you tell Jo that?"

The look on Roy's face gave Johnny his answer. "Roy, what the hell?! She's your wife, for Christ's sake. Just…just talk to her."

Johnny crossed the kitchen and picked up the handset, holding it out to Roy. "Call her. Call her now."

Roy took the handset, shooting Johnny a glare as he slid off the stool and headed toward the living room. Johnny figured Roy could be as mad as he wanted to be, as long as he at least tried to talk things out with Joanne.

He found a note pad and a pen and started making a grocery list while Roy was on the phone, half-listening to Roy's end of the conversation. So far, at least, things seemed calm, but why wouldn't they be? It took a lot to get Roy wound up. Joanne too, for that matter. Johnny just couldn't believe there wasn't a way for them to work this out.

Soon, Roy returned to the kitchen, setting the handset on the counter with a somber expression. "Well?" Johnny asked.

"Says she needs some time." Roy replied. "I told her, you know, that nothing happened. I'm not sure she believes me."

"Yeah, I get that." Johnny answered. "And no, I'm not taking sides. Just saying that I get where she's coming from."

"Suppose I do, too." Roy's expression turned more thoughtful as he played with the coffee mug. "God, I feel so damn stupid. So damn stupid."

Johnny hated hearing the defeated tone in Roy's voice. He felt terrible for both Roy and Joanne. It must be a special kind of hell, feeling helpless as what should have been something so solid simply crumbled into pieces.

But couldn't those pieces be put back together? Johnny liked to think that they could, but maybe Kevin was right, maybe he had idealized Roy and Joanne to the point that he couldn't imagine them any other way.

No wonder he was so shaken by the notion of their marriage falling apart.

As shaken as he was, Roy was obviously far more so, and that was what had driven Roy to reach out for the first time in ages. And Johnny did sympathize with Roy on some level, he really did.

He finished off his coffee, scribbled a couple more things on his list, then clicked the pen and stuck it in the spiral spine. "All right, get dressed. I've got things to do and I'm not leaving you here stuck in your own misery."

"Fine." Roy managed a slight smile and finished his own coffee before sliding down from the stool and heading off to change clothes.

Maybe a day of errands was just the thing to help start to pull Roy out of his deep funk. If nothing else, it would provide a little bit of distraction. Maybe that would be good enough.

# # #

Roy rode along with Johnny, listening as Johnny talked the whole time, pointing out areas of interest along the way. Somehow he had a knack for making the most mundane errands an adventure, and this time was no different.

Of course, there were other things to see and do before they got to the errands part, and by mid-afternoon they found themselves seaside, scarfing down fish tacos.

"These are good." Roy told Johnny. "Not sure what I was expecting."

Johnny smiled as he popped his last bite into his mouth. "Yeah, I thought they were pretty weird, too. But Kev, you know, he's up to try damn near anything. We were out this way one night and stopped by. Been coming here ever since."

Roy finished off his own last bite and stared out toward the ocean, watching as the waves crashed over the sand, listening to the sounds of people enjoying themselves. "Never figured you'd like any place near the water."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still a mountains and forests kind of guy." Johnny responded. "But once in a while, I don't mind the change of pace, as long as I don't have to go too far into the water."

"Still hate water rescues, huh?"

"As much as ever." Johnny let out a short laugh. "Fortunately, where I'm stationed, it's not much of an issue. Kev sees a lot more of those than I do."

"You guys are at different stations."

"Yeah, and a good thing, too." Johnny answered casually. "We'd probably kill each other if we weren't. There's such a thing as too much togetherness."

"Suppose you're right." Roy couldn't help reflecting on all those years he and Johnny had worked together, how many off-duty hours they'd spent together. They were as close as two people could be, or so Roy had thought. "You're still happy being a paramedic?"

"Sure." Johnny nodded. "Not much different than when I was with L.A. County. Slightly different protocols, and I get to go home to…well, you know."

"Listen, I'm happy for you." Roy told him, tamping back the bit of jealousy that had flared up. "You've got a good life here. A really good life."

Johnny nodded at that. "Hasn't always been easy, but it's always been worth it."

That stung a little, given his own problems. His phone call with Joanne earlier hadn't given him a lot of hope that they could work it out. What did 'some time' mean, anyway? Roy had no idea, and had no idea how to convince Joanne to come home.

And what if she didn't? How would they break that to the kids? Sure, they were adults now, more or less, very much involved in their own lives, but this would surely shake them to the core, just as it had Roy.

But maybe not. Chris had decided to stay in Michigan, continuing his education and building a new life with his girlfriend, and he came home infrequently. Jenny was working through USC herself, and while she had started out coming home on the weekends, those visits had become more and more infrequent until they were lucky to see her every couple of months.

Maybe the kids sensed the tension between them. Well, how could they not? The tension had been there for a long time, despite all his and Joanne's attempts to ease it, to find their way back to the way they were.

He didn't want to give up. He didn't. But maybe there was no other way.

"Roy?" Johnny's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry." Roy shook his head. "Got lost in my own thoughts for a minute, I guess."

Johnny tilted his head, regarding him with concern. "You know, I don't mean to be so hard on you about Jo."

"I know." Roy sighed heavily. "Starting to think maybe we really have hit our breaking point."

"Don't give up yet." Johnny told him. "Maybe it won't kill you guys to spend a little time apart."

The thought made something squeeze deep inside Roy's chest. "That house feels so damn empty now. Kids are gone, mostly. Jenny only comes home once in a blue moon, Chris hasn't been home in months. Too busy, he says. Now that Jo's gone…"

He trailed off, and he suddenly felt Johnny's hand covering his, that look of concern on his face. Roy shook his head. "I'll get used to it, right? I'll just…hell, I don't know. I don't know."

This wasn't how he saw this time of his life going at all.

"Might only be temporary." Johnny reminded him, patting his hand briefly before pulling back. "Suppose we'd better get going."

"Right."

They made a couple more stops before returning to the house, and Johnny pulled into the garage and shut off the engine before they grabbed grocery bags out of the back and took them in the house.

It wasn't long before everything was put away, and Johnny got to work starting ground meat in a pot, stirring it every so often as he cut up other vegetables and started adding them.

"You want some help?" Roy offered.

Johnny shook his head. "Kinda like doing this all myself. Kev's the same way. We've tried cooking together a few times, and we just end up getting in each other's way. So, someone cooks, someone cleans up. Works for us."

"You guys sure seem to have it all figured out." Roy commented.

Johnny acknowledged that with a nod as he opened a few cans and started adding them in. "Took a while. You know, he hadn't lived with anyone since his divorce, and well, you know me. Lived by myself for so long that I wasn't sure I'd be able to live with anyone."

"Wait, Kevin was married?" That threw Roy for a bit of a loop.

"Oh, it was way before we met." Johnny answered casually. "But yeah. He was married for a few years. Didn't work out for obvious reasons."

"Huh." Roy pondered that for a long moment. He had to admit it gave him a little bit of hope, that if he couldn't manage to salvage his marriage, there were other possibilities. But the thought of trying to explain that to the kids filled him with dread. Sure, it was one thing for Uncle Johnny to have a boyfriend, but it would be quite another for their father to have one.

Johnny put a lid on the pot. "Got a couple hours before that's ready. What say we grab a couple of beers and sit outside?"

"Sounds good."

They spent the next couple of hours talking about everything but the state of Roy's marriage, and for that Roy was grateful. He figured there wasn't much left to talk about on that front, anyway, and one way or another, he supposed he and Joanne would work something out.

He'd forgotten just how good it was to spend time with Johnny. It brought to mind all the camping and fishing trips they'd taken over the years, all the good times they'd had. God, he missed that more than he'd realized.

Finally, after a couple bowls of Stoker spaghetti and another beer, Roy felt a warmth settle over him, and maybe a sense of something like contentment. Soon he'd have to go home and try to make sense of his life and his marriage, but for the time being, he was here with Johnny, and all was right with the world.

He let out a short laugh, and Johnny tilted his head at him curiously. "You okay?"

"For now." Roy answered.

"Good." Johnny beamed, grasping Roy lightly on the shoulder. "Suppose you have to head home soon, right?"

"Yeah, I do." Roy acknowledged.

"You want me to send some of this home with you?" Johnny asked as he started getting ready to clean up. "Otherwise it's just gonna take over the freezer and someone's gonna complain about it."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll take some home."

Johnny packed up several containers and set them on the counter while Roy went to pack up. He had to admit that he wished he could stay a little longer, but he had to face things eventually, and there was no point in putting it off.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and headed back out to pick up the containers Johnny had packed up. "Appreciate this…and everything else."

"Hey, yeah." Johnny nodded, wrapping an arm around him. "I really hope you and Jo can work things out."

"Thanks." Roy managed to wrap his free arm around Johnny. "I'll stay in touch."

"You'd better." Johnny cracked. "Don't wait until your next crisis to get hold of me."

"I won't."

With that, Johnny released him, and Roy left the house, putting his bag and the containers in his car before climbing in and starting it up. He spotted Johnny at the door, holding Shadow, and he gave him a brief wave before backing out of the driveway and starting his drive home.

One way or another, things would be okay. At least, Roy hoped so.

# # #

Roy pulled into the driveway and pushed the door to open the garage, somewhat surprised to see Joanne's car parked there. He didn't want to think too much about what that meant as he pulled into the spot next to hers.

He picked up his bag and the containers and went into the house, not sure what he would find. "Jo?" He called out.

There was no answer, so Roy put the containers in the refrigerator and started toward the bedroom to unpack and get ready to go to work the next day. As he did so, he spotted Joanne out on the patio, her back to him. No wonder she hadn't heard him.

He set down his bag and opened the patio door. "Jo."

Joanne turned around, her arms wrapped around herself. "I came back for a few things. I won't be long."

"It's okay." Roy wanted to gather her in his arms, tell her that everything would be okay. But he knew that was likely the wrong move. "It's your house too, you know."

Joanne briefly wiped her eyes. "I think it's better if we live apart for a while. I just need some time to think."

"That's fine." Roy told her. "I know this…all of this has been hard. And I haven't made it any easier."

"No, you haven't." Joanne responded with a rueful smile. "There have been times when I'm not sure you still want to be married to me."

"I do, but if you don't want to be married to me, well, then it doesn't matter if I want to." Roy answered quietly, dreading Joanne's response.

Joanne nodded soberly, unfolding her arms and approaching Roy, and Roy pulled her in close as she dissolved in tears against his shoulder. He found himself blinking hard to keep his own emotions at bay.

"Jo, I'm sorry." He told her roughly.

"I know." She replied with equal roughness.

They held each other for what felt like ages until Joanne finally pulled back and took a deep breath, looking up at him. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Roy told her, grasping her shoulders gently. "That's never gonna change."

Joanne pulled away, her hands drifting to take Roy's, squeezing them gently. "We'll talk soon, I promise."

"Okay."

With that, she left him out on the patio, and Roy could only watch her go. It hurt like hell, knowing that their love might not be enough to keep them together. All he could do was wait, hope, and just try to keep talking.

Maybe they wouldn't be able to make their marriage work, but there was no reason they had to become enemies. This was still the woman he loved, the mother of his children. He would give her whatever she wanted, whatever she needed. It was the least he could do for the woman who had stood by his side for so many years.

It seemed like it took ages until Joanne emerged again with another suitcase, and she waved to him before she disappeared. Roy went inside with the intention of following her, maybe try one more time to change her mind.

By the time he got to the door, Joanne had already started the car and was backing out of the garage, as if Roy wasn't there at all. It was somehow fitting, Roy thought.

He went back inside to the empty house, the memories of all the years spent together running through his mind. Maybe one day they'd all be here together again, but in the meantime, it was just him, and he'd just have to manage.

There was nothing else he could do.