Chapter 30

Arlene POV

Arlene shifted around on the hard hospital mattress trying, and failing, to find a comfortable position, swearing under her breath. The starched white sheets scratched her legs and no matter what she tried her body ached.

"Ugh!" she kicked her legs and threw her head back in frustration, immediately regretting it as her stitches complained something fierce.

"You're going to hurt yourself dear," the matronly voice of a nurse chided her.

She scowled at the older women, who in turn shook her head with a tsk.

With a huff Arlene relented and greeted the women who had become the closest thing to a friend she had in the hospital. "Hi Beth."

"Hello dear. How are you feeling this morning?"

"I've been better."

"H'm, I bet you have been. But these may cheer you up," Beth replied, reaching into her apron and taking out two cream envelopes.

Arlene's eyebrows shot up as she hastily reached for the envelopes, the quick movement eliciting a hiss from her before she could stop it.

Beth arched an eyebrow and Arlene watched the nurse make a notation in her chart.

Damnit.

"I'll come back to check on you before my shift ends."

Arlene answered with an absent nod, her eyes and mind occupied scanning the envelopes in her hands.

She was vaguely aware of Beth's retreating footsteps and moments later the silence she had become accustomed to settled over her once more.

The hospital was full of soldiers being cared for, but as a woman she was separated from them, stashed away in the women's ward, which had twenty beds of which only four were occupied.

She continued studying the two envelopes, torn between which one to read first. She recognized Jessica's handwriting but the other one was unfamiliar, so she hoped it was Joe's.

Finally deciding that, if the second letter was from Joe, she would want to spend time lingering over it, she put it to the side and opened Jessica's.

Arlene

I've called in a few favors so we can write to one another and bypass the censors. You'll see I made sure to include Joe in our little conspiracy. I know neither one of you would ever forgive me if I didn't.

I hear your recovery is going well, but that you're being a stubborn patient, already looking for ways to go AWOL.

Please don't, not yet anyway. As much as I want you back with us, being the only woman with all these men is really testing my everlasting patience, I need you at full strength. And there's not a chance in hell you're anywhere close to ready yet.

Our days are spent going on patrols with Easy, or infiltrating the German line trying to gain better intelligence that what we had when this whole thing kicked off. Not that it would take much. What a bloody mess.

Speaking of. Apparently Michael was spotted near the German border on the day of our drop into Holland, but no one knows anymore.

She closed her eyes and dropped her head back, taking long deliberate breaths to push down the anxiety clawing at her throat at the mention of Michael's name. After a long pause she felt settled in her own skin, and only then did she open her eyes and continue to read.

We lost Williams, that lanky replacement with the gap in his front teeth. Sniper.

If you're able to look past their bitching, the men are all doing well. Relatively speaking. Alex misses Bell something terrible so he's pushing himself harder than he should. I swear half my time is spent negotiating with him to get some sleep.

Joe's alright. I mean he's cranky and scowls at anyone that breathes too loud, but honestly I think he's relieved you're far away from the front. I try to check in on him and the other men most days, which isn't hard since we're sharing a billet with Easy. Officers and all. It's rather glamorous.

I don't think I'm ever going to be clean again. Damn, I miss being clean.

The upside of sharing Easy's billet is I get to see Richard often. The downside, we're never alone and most of our time spent together is briefing or debriefing. I swear I'm at my wits end. If I wasn't so disgustingly filthy and exhausted I may have completely lost it by now being close to him but unable to actually do anything!

Before you ask, my interactions with Ron have been even less frequent. I swear I'm not avoiding him, but I do feel like Nixon and Richard (maybe) are conspiring to keep us apart. I should be bothered by this but, see above. Filthy, tired and frustrated equals not caring much right now.

Nix is his usual self. Every time I see him he does manage to make me smile. He's such a clown. God I love him.

Write back soon please. I miss you terribly my girl.

Yours always

Jessica.

She reread Jessica's letter twice more, trying to tease out any hidden meanings.

Jessica was clearly frustrated about the turn the fighting had taken, everyone was, but this time she felt it more acutely because she wanted to spend time away from the fight with Richard. Add to that the lack of resolution with Spiers and she was surprised the letter hadn't contained more expletives.

Finally comfortable there was nothing more to learn from Jessica's letter, she returned it safely to its envelope and tucked it underneath her pillow for safe keeping.

She held the second envelope in her hand and traced her fingers over the writing on its face. She so wished the letter was from Joe that she was almost afraid to open it in case it wasn't. Silently chastising herself for being a coward she took a deep breath and opened the envelope, allowing her eyes to race to the bottom of the page. When they landed on Joe's name her heart soared, her trepidation from a moment before erased.

Hello my darling

I love you. I hope you never get bored of hearing it. I love you.

As much as I miss you being near me, I sleep better knowing you're away from the fighting, even though I'm sure you're already trying to figure out a way to get back sooner than you should.

We got new replacements again. They're so young and green they make the new guys look like D-Day vets. God, I swear some of them have never even kissed a girl.

Your team's okay. They're working hard, constantly out and behind the German line. Winters hides it well from the other fella's, but I can see how much he worries about Jessica every time she goes out. Not that I blame him. I would have gone mad if it were you. He keeps himself busy though and Nixon comes around every chance he gets. I'm not sure how Nixon actually gets his job done.

When you're better and I'm back from the front we should go to Paris for a few days. Or London. Anywhere really where we can be together and anonymous, Just the two of us. Whenever I can't sleep I dream of that. Or our days spent in Jessica's room in Aldbourne.

Yours always

Joe.

A drop smudged the page. She hastily wiped at the tears that had silently started to run down her cheeks. Holding the letter to her nose she smelled it, hoping to catch the smallest hint of Joe, something to bring her a little closer to him.

Her heart ached and she longed to rest in his embrace. She read his letter again and again, until she drifted off into a deep sleep still clutching it close to her heart.

Jessica POV

"Harry?!" she called out to the blonde Lieutenant. The short man had a determined set to his jaw as he turned his attention towards her and she noticed a good portion of 1st Platoon had followed him out of the billet.

"How was the patrol ma'am?" he asked, but she could see he was itching to move out.

Studying the men waiting for him she noted they were all carrying extra ammo and none had a pack on their back.

She didn't bother answering his question, nothing of importance had happened on their patrol, instead asking, "What's going on?"

"Captain Winters and half of 1st Platoon engaged the enemy at the crossroads where the road crosses the dyke. He's called for reinforcements."

She nodded, schooling her features so they didn't betray her at the mention of Richard's name. "We're going with you. John," she glanced over her shoulder at her men, "tell Alex. I'm taking Parker and Hunt with me."

John frowned, not pleased at being left out but she ignored him. There was no sense in all of them going and she would prefer to not take another veteran with her if it could be avoided. Besides, someone had to break the news to Alex.

"Okay," he finally conceded.

"Hunt. Parker. Grab extra ammo and let's go."

"Ma'am," the men replied in unison, already running off to get what was required.

"You sure ma'am? You guys have been out for two days now," Harry asked.

She shrugged and shot him a lopsided smile. "The more the merrier Harry. Lead the way."

The Lieutenant nodded and ordered the men to move out. She fell in beside him and before long Parker and Hunt had caught up with them, quickly handing her extra ammo before falling into place in the advancing column.

Just as the sun was starting to lighten the sky they reached the bottom of a dyke. They paused and listened intently for any signs of the enemy or their own men.

"Wait here," she whispered before scrambling up the embankment in a half crouch. Reaching the top she pressed herself into the damp earth and peered over the edge.

On the other side of the dyke there was a small drop to a dirt road, followed by a longer one to a field. The other half of 1st Platoon were crouched in a drainage ditch which ran parallel to the road, she couldn't see the Germans so assumed they were sheltered by the solid roadway embankment she could see a hundred yards or so to her right.

"Shit," she whispered.

The enemy could easily outflank them from their stronger position and that's without assuming they had superior numbers.

We're going to have to assault their position.

Turning back to the waiting men she signaled for them to join her and less than a minute later they had fallen in beside the other men in the ditch.

"Luz," she called to the radioman.

"Ma'am?"

"Where's Captain Winters?"

Luz turned his head so he was looking out across the field in the direction of the Germans. She followed his gaze and spotted two figures lying prone in the long grass a few yards away.

"He's with Talbert," Luz answered.

She gave a nod as she offered the men around her a cigarette from a brand new pack. They enthusiastically accepted the small token, offering her a few mumbled 'thanks' in return.

Before long Richard and Talbert turned back to their line. She watched as they approached, waiting for the moment of recognition in Richard's eyes when he spotted her. She assumed he would be unhappy to find her here, but she couldn't help but long for a moment's connection before the inevitable attack.

As expected, when his gaze settled on her, his mouth set into a disapproving line and his eye glinted in the early morning sun. She replied the only way she could think of, with a small smile and a shrug.

They made space for the two men to slide back in beside them and she was silently pleased to find herself next to Richard, their bodies pressed close together in the small confines of a ditch already filled with men.

"Captain King," he greeted her a little tersely.

"Captain Winters," she replied, smiling sweetly.

There was a small twitch in his neck and for a second she thought he was going to reprimand her for being here, but at the last minute he let out a deep groan before taking a sip from his canteen.

Replacing the cap on his canteen, he turned his eyes away from her, to the waiting officers.

"Here it is. Talbert, you'll take ten men along the dyke. Peacock, you'll take ten men along the left flank." He paused for a beat, looking between the two Lieutenants to make sure they understood their orders. Satisfied he continued, "I'll take thirteen men up the middle. Captain King," he turned his blue eyes to her, "you and your men will be with me."

"It's your show," she answered.

He snorted in reply but continued as if she hadn't said anything. "Questions? Go."

With that the two officers moved out to relay the order. As soon as they were away he turned his attention to her, speaking just above a whisper he said, "You shouldn't be here."

"But I am and you need the extra guns."

His frown deepened and she could tell he was fighting with himself over what to do next, but she held his unblinking stare.

"Fine," he finally relented. "You're here now. Just, stay close."

"Okay," she conceded.

He turned his attention away from her, back to his own gear and the German position. She took the opportunity to ready herself and go over Hunt and Parker's gear.

"Fix bayonets," she ordered her two men as she slotted hers on. Soon the rest of Easy were following, the hollow click of the bayonets slotting into place echoing up and down their line. With each passing moment the tension in their company grew, until it was so thick she could almost taste it.

They had no idea what was waiting for them on the other side of the embankment. They could be running right into their own slaughter.

She took a deep breath and on the exhale closed her eyes and willed her body and mind back under her control.

Richard shifting next to her signaled that the time had come to launch the assault. She stole a quick glance at him, hoping her face didn't give anything away to the men around them, or to Richard. The last thing she wanted was for him to see the fear that gripped her insides at the thought of losing him in this random field.

His lips twitched up in the corners in an attempted smile and she returned the small gesture.

He looked past her to the men at her back before glancing over his shoulder to those in his right.

"Go on the red smoke," he reminded them.

Those near him gave a nod, their eyes never looking away from the enemy's position.

She heard the pin pulled from the smoke grenade and a beat later felt Richard leap out of the ditch.

She watched, heart hammering in her chest, as his long legs carried him further and further away from them. It felt like an eternity and her mind and heart screamed at her to move, unwilling to sit by and watch as the man she cared so deeply for ran into harm's way without anyone there to help him. Finally, just as she was about to disobey his direct order, red smoke spewed from the grenade, coloring the early morning mist.

As one the men leapt from the ditch and sprinted towards the enemy. For a moment her view of Richard was obscured by the red smoke and she heard the distinctive clap of a rifle up ahead. She pushed harder than she thought possible, her lungs and legs burning.

Then she was through the smoke and saw Richard and a dozen or so other men firing down the embankment. With each passing second more men joined them and soon the sound of her blood rushing in her ears was drowned out by that of gunfire.

Cresting the embankment she dropped hard onto her stomach and opened fire on the first moving target she found. Shot after shot she picked out individual men in grey. Only when she had to reload did she look around.

There were Germans everywhere, running away from them as more streamed over the embankment that ran parallel to the road. The Germans were confused and in the open, panic was running rampant amongst them.

Another empty clip pinged in her ear. She slammed the next one in and continued picking off the fleeing men.

"In coming!" came the call and a second later the ground in front of her erupted as artillery tore into the fleeing German soldiers.

She continued to add her own hailstorm of death to the destruction.

Suddenly an explosion erupted on the embankment they were shooting from, a few feet from their position.

"Easy Company take cover! It's German artillery!" she heard Richard shout the order.

She shot up, grabbed the collar of Parker's jacket, and yanking them both backwards they rolled down the embankment . "Stay down!" she shouted to be heard over the deafening sound, pushing herself into the earthen wall as artillery battered their position, raining earth and soot down on them.

A body collided with her and she looked over to find Hunt staring at her, his pupils completely blown, his face a terrifying combination of exhilaration and disgust.

Then, like a wave rolling back in on itself as it returns to the sea, the artillery faded to be replaced by the moaning of wounded and dying men, punctuated by calls for a medic.

She pushed herself up and crawled back up the embankment, rifle at the ready to continue her work, but when she crested the small rise her breath faltered and her insides froze.

The field in front of her was littered with dozens of bodies, some writhing in agony but most a bloody mess.

"Fuck," Parker's voice by her side startled her and she realized she must have been holding her breath because her lungs ached.

Pushing herself onto her knees she scanned their line, her eyes frantically searching for Richard and Joe. She spotted Joe a few feet from her, lying on his back, eyes seemingly closed as a stream of smoke floated above his face, cigarette perched precariously between his lips. She narrowed her eyes at the splash of red across his neck which stood in stark contrast to the filthy white bandage wrapped over it.

Getting to her feet her eyes moved past Joe and continued their search for Richard, her chest finally releasing the vice grip it had on her breathing when she found him giving orders to Talbert and Harry.

Thank you.

"Parker. Hunt," she called to her men, turning away from Richard.

"Yeah," they replied.

"It looks like Johnny is rounding up prisoners. You both speak German, go and see if he needs help."

They nodded, put their helmets back on and jogged over to the Easy Sergeant.

She watched them for a moment longer before turning to find Joe. He was still where she had last seen him, by the looks of things having just started his second or third smoke.

When she stopped next to him her shadow fell across his face. He opened his eyes, a scowl already firmly etched into his forehead. "What the -," he stopped short when he realized it was her.

Dropping onto her haunches she took a drink from her canteen, swishing the water around her mouth before swallowing the cool liquid. "Hey Joe," she greeted as she put her canteen away.

He pushed himself into a sitting position so they were facing one another. "Here," he offered her the cigarette he'd just lit, which she accepted, and he quickly replaced it with another one.

"You're hurt," she nodded towards the bloody bandage tied around his neck.

"It ain't that bad."

"Maybe, but you should get it checked out and cleaned. Infection isn't something you want to mess with."

"Yeah-yeah. I'll get it checked out by Doc later. He's got his hands full," he replied, glancing up towards the road where she could see and hear their wounded being treated.

Looking back to him she said, "Arlene will never forgive me if anything happens to you. Promise me you'll get it checked out."

At the mention of her friend's name his face softened and he dropped his head, his chest heaving as he took a deep breath. Looking back up to her he replied, "I'll get checked out."

She stared him down for a moment longer, deciding if she should push the matter further or drop it. Technically she could give him a direct order, but she wasn't comfortable stepping on Richard's toes by ordering his men around. With a final sigh she flicked the half smoked cigarette to the ground and rose. "Take care of yourself Joe."

"You too Cap. Arlene will never forgive me if anything happens to you," he deftly turned her earlier words back on her.

She smirked and raised her eyebrows in response before turning to look for something to do while she waited for the adrenaline to fade and leave her feeling exhausted in every way imaginable.

The men had started to gather on and around the road so she made her way in that direction.

"Malarkey," she greeted the redheaded Sergeant where he stood hunched over a small gas stove and mess tin, the tantalizing aroma of coffee wafting up to meet her.

He looked up and gave her a tired smile. "Ma'am," he rose, bringing the coffee with him, "would you like some?"

"Thanks Malark, but I can't take all of that."

Muck appeared beside Malarkey holding out his empty mess tin. "Here, you can use mine Ma'am."

Before she could protest Malarkey had already poured some of the hot liquid into the empty tin. She smiled gratefully. "Cheers."

"Cheers," the two men sang.

A scream pulled her attention away from their smiling faces and her eyes quickly landed on the red cross on Doc Roe's arm.

"I'm going to see what I can do to help Doc Roe while we wait for Battalion to send more men. Here," she held the fresh coffee out to Muck, "my hands will be full. Thanks again gents."

"You're welcome ma'am," Malarkey replied on their behalf as Muck shot her smile over the rim of his mess tin.

She spent the next hour or so helping Doc Roe treat the wounded, the two of them not saying much to one another yet she found the medic's presence alone to be soothing, helping her come down from the high of the attack without a complete crash landing.

When more medics and supplies appeared she patted Doc's shoulder and excused herself before she got in their way. He looked away from the man he was tending to and gave her a soft, lopsided smile.

As she turned away from him her body and mind suddenly felt like led and she could feel a slight tremor in her hands. Stuffing her hands into her pockets she walked back down the embankment a short distance away from the men. Looking for a place to sit for a moment, she spotted the stump of a large wooden stake which she could rest her back against. Ambling towards it she was debating which way to face. She could either face their men and German prisoners, have her back to everyone or face the dead.

The thought of turning her back on everyone and not being able to see someone approach kicked against every instinct she had, but there was no way she was going to sit and stare at the faces of the dead or open herself up to scrutiny, imagined or real, from the surrounding soldiers.

Settling in against the stake she took of her helmet, leaned back and closed her eyes, feeling the exhaustion cover her like a thick blanket.

She heard someone approach, their measured footfalls crunching the rocks and dirt underfoot. She didn't have to look over her shoulder to know who it was, so when Richard settled in next to her, facing the German dead, she rested her head against the side of his arm.

He took his helmet off and placed it near his feet, after which she felt him fidget with something in his hands. She opened one eye a slither and peered around him so she could see what he was doing to find him twisting and untwisting a length of black cord, his eyes staring off into space.

She settled back and listened to his steady breathing by her side.

When he cleared his throat her eyes opened to stare off into the middle distance, watching as the breeze swayed the tops of the long grass.

"Do you ever stay out of a fight?" he asked, his voice tired.

"Not when my people are in it."

"Jessica -," he started to say but she cut him off. "If it had been Alex or John or Arlene. Nix. I would have done the same thing."

She thought she heard him huff a small laugh. "And here I thought I was special."

Despite her darkened mood her lips turned up into a faint smile and she grunted a small laugh. "You are. I would have come to help them, but when Harry told me you were out here I had to stop myself from running headlong into the fight."

She couldn't tell if her admission was good or bad news to him, but the silence that followed was comfortable, safe.

Eventually she spoke. "I'm tired. Not just today, but…"

"Permanently," he finished her sentence, weariness slowing down his speech.

She nodded even though he couldn't see her. "I've been doing this a long time. I know I'll never walk away as long as my people are still in it, but there are days I dream of a life away from it all. A life of peace, rest. Whatever that looks like. I'm not really sure anymore."

She felt his head turn and she peered over her shoulder to find his blue eyes studying her, his brow furrowed. She didn't dare look away, didn't want to.

"You deserve a quiet life Jessica. You have to know that."

She gave him the smallest of smiles and gently bumped her head into his arm in response. He dropped his head and placed a kiss onto her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin.

"One day," she murmured.

He lifted his head as he said, "One day."

"Captain King!" Parker's voice shattered their delicate moment of relative peace.

"Here!" she replied, waving her hand in the air as she heard him approach.

When she heard him stop in front of her she opened her eyes, using her hand to shield her face from the sun.

"They need us back at Battalion. With all the prisoners they need extra translators."

"H'm, interrogation. Fun," she replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, but there'll be hot chow. Maybe."

"We live in hope."

Taking the hand he was offering she allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. Grabbing her helmet she stole a glance at Richard. His gaze was focused on the body of a young German soldier lying a few feet from them. She rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, wishing she could stay.

She dropped her hand and grabbed her rifle. "Let's go."

As they walked back up the embankment to a waiting jeep Nixon intercepted them, her friend heading in the direction she had just come from.

"You should know, Alex is furious," he said in greeting.

Parker continued walking ahead, indicating that he would wait for her by the idling jeep.

She nodded in understanding before replying, "Yeah, I guessed as much. I would be too, I suppose."

"You guys did good work here," he said, but his voice was flat and his dark eyes were scanning the field behind her where dozens of dead bodies lay.

"It was Richard. We just came to help."

He nodded and looked in the direction she had come. "How is he?"

She shrugged. "Tired. Conflicted."

Nixon nodded and pulled his eyes back to her. "And you?"

"Tired. Conflicted."

He pulled her into a one arm hug. Speaking into the air above her head he simply said, "Yeah." He sounded as disillusioned as she felt in that moment. But she knew the melancholy would pass. It was always at its worst right after a fight.

"I should get going."

He let her go a little reluctantly, but before she could step away her grabbed her arm. "Oh, Dick is being promoted. Executive Officer of Second Battalion. It's not official yet, but I heard Sink is on his way here."

She sighed and nodded. "He'll do a great job. He's a wonderful leader."

"Yeah, he is."

"Do we know who's taking over Easy?"

"Not yet, but Moose Heyliger is the most senior officer. If I were a betting man –,"

"Which you are."

He smirked. "Which I am. I'd put my money on him."

"He's good. Solid."

"Yeah, and you know Dick will stay close."

"I better get going. May as well face Alex's wrath while the day is still young."

He gave her a thin lipped smile as he patted her shoulder. Reaching the waiting jeep a moment later she stole a look over to her two friends and she couldn't stop the twinge of longing that pulled at her heart.

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