Jack finished his lecture which gave a new twist to the classic parable from Luke 15. He then wrapped up by returning to the one loose end from the early part of his discussion - the child abuse allegations.
"I note with a great deal of anger that Patrick's and Hope's parents, as well as being fugitives from the law as their bail has been revoked, are among the worst child molesters in our nation's history. I was slightly off with the tallies I gave your shepherds earlier. The numbers are right but not the specifics. Harry Anderson raped eighty-nine girls and eleven boys - mostly teenagers but some as young as age five. Prudence molested forty-three boys and seven girls, some as young as age three. Worst of all, Prudence got pregnant by Patrick four times while he was a teenager - and she had an abortion all four times."
This was too much for the Anderson siblings. Inconsolable, they ran out of the sanctuary. They were quickly followed by Tammy and her children.
"This is too much, sis," said Patrick, weeping. "Not only did Mom take advantage of me, when I was totally helpless, she murdered my four babies! Destroyed them! I became a father in the worst possible way, but they were my children. This is beyond anything I can handle. I need a break ... a real break!"
Hope's tears were a torrent. She embraced her brother. The Wilkinsons joined in.
"Darling," said Tammy after a long minute, "our honeymoon can wait. For now, I think you and I and our children, including the two on the way, need to take a vacation. We have way too much on our plate even without this - I've heard more about intelligence than I even wanted to know existed! We can calm down, and take the next step. We really do need to bond as a family. As for the babies you lost at the hands of your mother, we'll help you through that, too. I love you. That's what a wife and children are for. Love. Nothing like what you got from your parents."
"Oh sweetheart, thank you!" Patrick kissed his wife, then their living children.
Meanwhile, Felicity thanked Jack for coming, then took the rostrum. Looking straight into the camera, she was boiling inside with this new revelation. And her fury let out.
"Have you no sense of decency, Harry? Prudence? Edward? At long last, have you guys left no sense of decency?" screamed Felicity at the top of her lungs. She was channeling Joe Welch from the McCarthy hearings who brought down the Senator from Wisconsin. "You have long past the point of any redemption. In fact, you have all forfeited that redemption, your salvation, and everything that comes with it! And if there is a God in Heaven it will do neither you nor your cause any good to stay on the run. You do this to Patrick, to a hundred and fifty children - and God knows how many adults! Not to mention all the money you stole!"
Felicity was shouting herself hoarse. She grabbed a glass of water. As she drank it, she suddenly realized why Lisa had been targeted for rape by Ed Sanderson so many years earlier. When Lucy decided to become a minister, more than a year before she told Eric of her decision, she wanted to get advice about how to be a female minister from a number of her mentors. One was the Reverend Hope Anderson. Ed hacked her e-mail account and found Lucy in her address book. He wanted to go after Lucy but upon finding that she, Mary and Ruthie were well insulated because of Annie and Eric, he decided to go after Lucy's most vulnerable friend. It also helped that Ed hated Habitat for Humanity for "denying prosperity". In other words, denying con artist televangelists their prosperity.
Having calmed down just slightly, Felicity returned to the camera.
"Do the right thing. Just turn yourselves in. You are the three most wanted people in the country - dare I say the world! God might still show you some mercy if you do. The courts won't, but God will forgive you if you just admit what everyone knows. Life without parole is way better than the alternative. And given you all had a hand in the murder of Patrick's children in the womb, you could all just might get the death penalty. Not that I support that because I actually don't. I'm pro-life from conception to natural death. But if y'all get the needle and die at the hands of the state, I really couldn't fucking care less!" She didn't care if she cursed in front of nearly three thousand children, besides twelve thousand plus adults - all pretense of decency had long gone out the window.
The congregation roared.
The ever-growing posse, flush with new energy, decided to go out to a steakhouse to talk out what their next steps ought to be.
As for the Unholy Trinity, their luck finally ran out the next day. The unrepentant Prudence had twenty-four shots in a row of Canadian whiskey, drinking it down in an eight-hour session, during an all night session of three-way sex. She, Harry and Ed headed out on the expressway after leaving the hotel. Two miles down from the on ramp, there was a construction site. Prudence, driving ninety miles per hour in a forty-five restricted zone, ran over seven construction workers. Four, including a pregnant mother, were killed. The accident happened in their home state of California, that had a fetal homicide law; but well away from their base of Anaheim. In fact they were in Yreka, near the Oregon line.
It took the officers on the scene five seconds to recognize the trio. Prudence blew 3.37 - 42 times the legal limit. The cops marvelled at how she was managing to stand as she was booked. In fact they were shocked she was even alive at all.
On top of all the federal civil rights and fraud charges, Prudence now faced five counts of murder one in California. She didn't even pretend to show remorse.
"I know I'm pro-life," she said during booking, "but I was protecting Patrick from the truth and it was my right to get rid of the trash!"
One of the officers who had done the arrest, a staunchly pro-choice woman, couldn't hold back her anger.
"Deciding to end a pregnancy can never be taken lightly - whether you agree with abortion or not!" she said. "This isn't trash we're talking about. These were beings that could have been humans. You never gave your son a say."
"Like I care what he thinks. He disowned me, after all. As did Hope."
"You disowned yourselves from them by doing what you did - raping him, and standing idly by while your daughter was molested. So spare me! By the way, what did that poor woman you killed today ever do to you?"
"Collateral damage," said Prudence flatly. For a woman who was legally dead drunk, she was sobering up rapidly. "And I'm done talking."
"I think you've just buried yourself, Pastor," said the cop angrily. "And good riddance!"
The following day, along with Patrick. Hope and Ruthie headed to Atlantic City for their wedding, both in resplendent and complimentary although non-matching wedding gowns. Hope chose a pure white while Ruthie picked taupe. Both dresses were strapless, and the women both made a point of keeping the skirt high up so their garters showed just slightly. They went to their chosen casino and headed to the wedding chapel. To their amazement, as they met with Ruthie's matron of honor, all of Ruthie's siblings were there, with their families.
"Oh my God!" shrieked Ruthie. "What are you doing here?"
"You think we'd miss our sister getting married?" laughed Matt.
"Not to mention, our first ever lesbian wedding," added Sarah.
"And this will give me a chance to take notes for when we marry Lisa and Brigitte on Friday," concluded Lucy.
"Eric and Annie aren't here," noted Hope sadly.
"They said being a lesbian is one thing," replied Sam.
"Getting married to another one is something totally different," said David. "They're not talking to you or Ruthie for one year. We tried to get them to change their minds, but they're absolutely not changing their minds. When the one year is over, they'll welcome you as their daughter-in-law. But not one day before that."
"C'est la guerre," said Ruthie.
"What about children?" asked Mary.
"I'm done with having kids, sis," said Ruthie. "Hope's ex-lover has agreed to be her sperm donor."
"Works."
"Well, let's get this show on the road!" said Roxanne.
Roxanne Richardson had just completed her credentials and was now a minister like her husband Chandler Hampton. In addition to being an on-duty chaplain for the NYPD, she was able to perform weddings for just about anyone. She had no trouble getting extra credentials for New Jersey.
"Why did you agree to do this, Roxie?" asked Deena.
"Ruthie's my friend. And if Hope makes her happy, then I'm happy!"
The women approached the altar. With them were Rolanda, Ruthie's matron of honor, and Patrick, Hope's gentleman of honor.
"Dearly beloved," said Roxie, "we are gathered here today to join these two women in hold matrimony. Since no one here objects, let's just get right to the point. Ruthie, will you take Hope to be your wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep yourself only unto her, till death shall part you two?"
"I do," said Ruthie. She started crying.
"Hope, will you take Ruthie to be your wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep yourself only unto her, till death shall part you two?"
"I do," said Hope, sobbing with joy.
A pause, while Sam and David revealed four rings. An engagement and wedding ring for each woman. In the rush to organize the nuptials, Hope and Ruthie had forgotten to get rings in Saint Louis and wound up spending forty thousand dollars each on engagement rings and an extra ten on wedding bands complimentary to their respective cousins.
Quickly, the women slipping both rings on each others' fingers, saying in unison, "With these rings, I thee wed, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."
Wanting to wrap this up, Roxie concluded: "By virtue of the authority granted by me and this sovereign state, I now pronounce Ruthie Bernadette Camden and Hope Ophelia Anderson wives for life. What God has joined together - and it is God that has brought these two women together - let no man, or woman rend asunder. Ladies, you may kiss each other!"
Ruthie and Hope kissed. For five long minutes, before they both ran out of breath.
"Well, darling, now back to Saint Louis, so we can lick each other up, all night long!" laughed Hope.
"You read my mind ... sweetheart!" replied Ruthie. They kissed again, for another two minutes.
Cheering, the gang walked out of the casino, the wives still in full wedding regalia. As they walked out the door, the earth started shaking. Instinctively, they all ran out to the parking lot. The rumbling kept going. It stopped after two long minutes. It was a 6.2 earthquake. Incredibly, the casino was still standing. Except for the wedding chapel, which was totally destroyed.
Ruthie and Hope, now wives for life, burst into tears and comforted each other. Had they really come that close to losing their lives? And was this God's judgment or a horrible stroke of good luck? The Camdens, as well as Roxanne and Chandler and their daughters, were equally unnerved. Maybe Harry, Prudence and Ed had one more trick up their sleeves. Had this been it? Was God truly on the side of hate and not love?