Chapter 2: Practice

"Mmm… Why would the Guild need a fountain of Vert in the middle of the base? I thought the Guild was full of people who didn't like the goddess of their country…" N scratched his head scratched through some paperwork. Ganache, himself, had delivered the papers to N's apartment since the new parent was still adjusting to being an actual parent. "Aw, whatever…" Yawning, N threw his pen against the stack of papers, which sat on top of his laptop.

Leaning against his chair, N stared at the ceiling.

It's been a few days since N adopted IF, and under the tutelage of Granny Arfoire, he was able to understand one thing only: Taking care of a kid is HARD,

Within those few days between taking IF home and now, the baby would randomly cry incessantly and in different pitches. And apparently, according to A Mother's Handmade Guide to Being An Actual Mother, babies have their own language and that IF wants something. But to N's chagrin, he could not figure out what these cries meant. It took Arfoire, who figured out IF's 'speech' immediately, to help N with whatever IF needed.

That wasn't even what N hated the most right now. If there was one thing that N could have removed when he was Purple Heart (if Purple Heart could do such a thing anyways), he would remove a baby's ability to poop and puke.

N rubbed his face in agony when he remembered when IF threw up all over the floor. Lucky for him, it was in the wooden living room floor.

"But the smell…" The young man clenched his face upon remembering both the puke, and the first time he had to change IF's diaper. Sighing, N let his arms hang at his sides. N didn't want to remember the smell, or the mess, or the fe- "Ugh…" N covered his mouth. "Totally didn't wanna remember that…" Letting out another sigh, N fixed his posture in his chair and picked up his pen. "Better finish this quick…"

Also according to the notebook, babies have sleeping schedules and feeding times. N glanced at his watch and then turned to the portable crib that Arfoire gave to him. Lying inside was his little baby girl, dozing under her tiny blanket that N created by tearing up one of the jackets he didn't need anymore. Staring at the infant at his side, scratched his head and adjusted the blanket to completely cover the girl.

Glancing at his watch again, N scratched something onto the paper before tapping on it a couple times. Putting down his pen for the final time, N stood up and walked over to the kitchen.

"Iffy should be hungry about now…" N paused at the doorway. "Or maybe it's in a hour…" Suddenly, he heard IF stirring and quickly headed to the fridge. "Now it is."

Immediately opening the fridge, N pulled out one of the bottles filled with baby formula that he prepared before he went to bed. Popping into the microwave, N set the number on the timer and hit start.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Iffy was a big eater…" In the last few days that N took in IF, his daughter began to devour his initial stock of baby formula. "Hmm… did Granny say that it was two scoops or one scoop…" N scratched his head as he walked over to IF. "Or maybe it was three?" Scratching his skull, N flipped through his notebook, which he left next on the coffee table. "Oh, it was one…" N put down the notebook and turned to IF, who was just rousing from her nap. "Thought it was two… my bad."

Kneeling over his daughter, N smiled when IF yawned and opened her eyes. Reaching out, N tickled his baby's stomach.

"Hey~" IF sat in her crib, her eyes following N's finger. "How ya doin?" IF blinked. "Ya hungry?" IF raised an arm and immediately dropped it. "I'll take that as a yes." Scooping IF, N walked over to the kitchen and hoisted himself ontop the counter.

Bouncing IF in his arms, like Arfoire told him to do so, N cooed at his daughter and mumbled incoherent words towards IF. And just like he expected, IF didn't react at all. Instead, IF reached out and grabbed onto his hoodie.

"You really like these things, huh?" Glancing up, N tilted his head to the side. "Maybe I could get someone to make her one…" N shrugged his shoulders. Glancing at the timer on the microwave, N reached for his phone in his pocket. "Wonder how Nep. Jr's doing…" Pulling out his electronic, N opened up Chirper.

N tapped on Nepgear's recent post, which was of her hanging out with the other CPU Candidates. Upon seeing his phone, IF squirmed more, reaching out for it.

"Oh whatsit? You wanna play with this?" Turning the phone off, N closed it and held it close to IF's tiny hands. IF grabbed for the electronic, her tiny fingers struggling to hold onto the phone. After a moment of trying, IF let a squeal of joy before turning to N and staring at him straight in the face. "Aw, what's wrong Iffy-biffy? Don't like it?" Suddenly, N heard a quiet growl. N chuckled while putting his phone away. "Oh, right food."

The microwave blared its signal, telling N that IF's food is warm. Sliding off of the counter, N opened the microwave and grabbed the bottle. Turning to IF, the young parent's eyebrows rose.

"Ah, hold on Iffy." Climbing back onto the counter, N crossed his legs and shifted IF onto his lap. "Almost forgot." Rolling up his sleeve, N pointed his elbow as far away for his daughter as possible before testing the bottle's warmth. "Hmm…"

Grinning, N nodded his head and shifted IF into his arm. Bottle in one hand, daughter in the other, N brought the former towards the latter's mouth.

"Here comes the delicious mil-" IF grasped onto the bottle and suckled onto it earnestly. "Well, it's not milk… Ah, but you're eating it up so fast~!" No matter how many times N fed his child, he always felt this warm blob in his heart. "Aw, you're such a good girl, Iffy~!"

If he was right, Arfoire told N to praise IF as much as he could. As he was praising her, IF tried to mutter something, causing some of the formula to run down her cheeks.

"Ah!" Reaching for IF's bib, N dabbed away the mess before it could get any worse. "Iffy, don't waste food. Or else won't become big and strong like Daddy…" N's mouth curled. "Heh, calling myself 'Daddy'… feels weird… and nice." Shrugging his shoulders, N noticed that IF was still suckling on the baby bottle, but its contents were gone. "Whoa! This might be, like, a new record!" Pulling the bottle away from IF's grasp, N placed the bottle to the side and held his daughter high into the air, smiling. "Who's a good girl? Who's a good Iffy-biffy? You are! Yes, you are!"

N raised and lowered IF about three consecutive times.

"Wait, didn't Granny warn about something…" Turning his head to the side, N closed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows. "Was it, don't shake the baby after feeding or… don't shake the bottle?" Suddenly, N felt a warm sensation on his lap and stomach. A sharp and sour smell forced its way into his nose, causing his eyes to tear up.

Opening his eyes, N bit his lip and glanced downwards.

"Yep, definitely the first one…" IF mumbled something.

0 o 0

After cleaning up the counter, and IF (after he found out she also pooped), N dabbed some dish detergent onto the giant stain and shoved the jacket into a bucket of warm water.

"Seriously… I would have been dead without Granny's help…" Tossing his clothes into the wash, N decided to wear a new set of clothes after a quick shower. N now wore a light blue t-shirt with a ton of horizontal white stripes and a pair of loose-fitting brown pants. Wiping his hair dry, N found IF sleeping peacefully in her crib. "Aw… even after throwing up a ton, she looks so adorable while sleeping."

Sitting back down in front of his laptop, N shifted through the paperwork that he had left unfinished. With each page that he flipped through, N slowly scanned through each work until he stopped on a name.

"Nepgear…" Pushing aside the papers that were on top, N pulled out the paper with Nepgear's name. "Hmm…" The piece of paper contained information on one of Nepgear's recent Quests. "Wow! Nep. Jr's movin' up, huh?" Grinning, N glanced over to check if he accidentally woke up IF. Last time he did that, it apparently ruined her sleeping schedule and took thirty minutes to calm her down. Upon seeing the girl peacefully dozing away, N sighed in relief and returned his focus to the paper. "Rank SS missions… She's gotten pretty tough."

N remembered when Nepgear would come to tears if Histy sent her out to exterminate some dogoos without her. Sighing, N scribbled onto the signature to approve of her accomplishment. Now, N could barely get away from a Rank A quest without bleeding at least three units of blood.

"Nep. Jr's all grown up now…" A sorrowful smile found itself onto Neptune's face. "And here I am… bumming around… like always…" N thought back to the earlier, when he was feeding IF. "Come to think of it, Nep Jr. always took care of everything I needed…" Squeezing his hand and causing his hand to tremble, N felt some tears building in the corner of his eyes.

Head dropping, a small droplet of water landed on his wrist.

"Man… I miss those days…" Reaching into his pocket, N turned on his phone. When his phone booted up, the young man smiled upon seeing a picture of him when he was Neptune, cuddling up to Nepgear and Histoire. Nepgear was happily clutching onto her sister while Histoire was squished in between the two Neps, still smiling despite her discomfort. Unlike the Neptune in the picture, the Neptune holding onto the phone sighed. The sorrowful smile on the physical Neptune slowly vanished. A frown replaced it while his eyes filled with regret.

"Sorry, everyone…" Suddenly his phone vibrated, catching the young man off guard. A notification popped up in the middle of the screen revealing that N had received a message. "What's this…?" Pressing a sequence of buttons, N opened up the message. His eyes popped open in surprise.

"I'll be coming over in a week for my monthly check up. ^o^)／" The sender's name caused N to make a small smile.

"Histy!" A loud cry pierced his ears. "Oh Nep…"

0 o 0

"Alright, that's done and done…" Stacking his finished papers together, N grabbed the large paper clip that came with the papers and fastened the papers together. Stretching his arms and letting out a satisfied grunt, N took a deep breath and glanced to the side. After N calmed down his startled child, IF decided to stay awake, sucking on the binky that Arfoire had given him. Grinning, the young parent reached out and picked up his daughter.

"Hey, Iffy?" Grin widening from side to side, N looked out the window. The sun was high in the sky, shining bright. Turning back to his daughter, the young man tilted his head to the side. "How about we go out for a bit?"

IF's response was to wiggle her tiny arms around, mutter a sound, and drop her binky. N followed the binky's drop and watched it bounce on the ground. After a couple of seconds, N looked at his daughter, smile intact.

"I'll take that as a yes." Walking over to coffee table, N gently placed IF on the couch and went into his room to grab the plastic bin that Arfoire gave him. Carrying the bin to the living room, N popped open the bin and pulled out various types of baby clothing.

"Hmm…" Scanning the dresses, shirts, shorts and other types of clothes, N scratched his head and looked at IF. "Come to think of it, I don't really have much of a fashion sense either…" Shrugging his shoulders, grabbed a pair of gray overalls. "This might work…"

After changing IF into the overalls, N also gave the child a pair of black socks and a pair of blue and white shoes. Grabbing the baby carrier given to him by Ganache and the Guild, N strapped his daughter to himself. Slinging a backpack containing IF's essentials, which he found out from page twenty three from the notebook, N stood tall and pointed towards the window.

"Alright, let's go on an adventure!" IF raised her arms, swinging her legs back and forth while attempting to utter a sound.

Stepping out of the apartment, N reached for the key in his pocket.

"Ah, that's right. I should tell Ganchy that I'm done." Pulling out the key, N locked the door. Placing his key in his pocket, N then grabbed his phone. Texting a message to Ganache, N put his phone away and patted his daughter on the head.

"Alright, now let's go!" IF put two of her chubby fingers in her growing mouth. "Ah. Iffy, that's diiiirtyyyy." After convincing, not tricking, IF into not chewing on her fingers, N walked down the stairs and exited the apartment gates.

"N, is that you?" Turning around, N waved upon seeing Arfoire standing in her doorway.

"Hey, Granny! Just taking little Iffy out for a walk!" Smiling, Arfoire waved back.

"Well, watch yourselves then." N nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

"Okay, come on Iffy," N grabbed his daughter's arm. "Wave 'Bye bye~' to Granny." Chuckling to herself, Arfoire nodded to N and closed her door.

Letting go of IF's stubby little arm, N began walking down the road.

"Hmm…" N put a hand under his chin, glancing around while keeping a hand on IF. "Where to go?" Turning a corner, N began wander the neighborhood. Upon reaching a street, N paused to look around.

N had walked out of the suburban area and ended up standing across the street from a shopping district. Scratching his chin, N smiled at his daughter.

"Hey, wanna go to there?" The small child looked up and drool rolled out of her mouth. "Oh hold on." Wiping away IF's drool, N walked over to the crosswalk. "We should go check it out, huh?" Patting his daughter on the head, N crossed the street and entered the shopping district.

"Au…" N reached an empty bench when IF began squirming around.

"Ah, is it time already?" N glanced at his watch. "So it is." Plopping down at a bench, N grabbed one of the baby bottles on his backpack and held it towards IF. "Foody time~!" IF latched onto the bottle and quietly suckled on the rubber teat, staring at the world around her.

A soft smile gracing N's lips, the young man bounced his child in his arms. Humming and slowly turning side to side, N closed his eyes and listened to his surroundings.

Birds chirped as they flew through the air, flapping their wings to stay high in the sky. Kids and parents laughing and screaming as they ran through the park, chasing whatever fun thing they brought with them. Finally, the quiet sound of IF suckling away on her bottle. Each small suckle taking in a bit of air as the fragile being in N's hands instinctively drank her food.

Suddenly, N opened his eyes. Two violet orbs dashed across their eye sockets, bouncing from side to side, until they landed on a small being boring her eyes into his side.

"Uh…" N looked around, hoping to see a parental figure around. "...Can I help you?" The child next to him was a girl, with orange hair that bounced around her neck, with a just as bouncy, and curlier, ahoge. Her ruby red, music shaped, pupils bounced from N to IF, her head copying the same motion.

"Um…!" The child pointed at N, causing the young man to tense up and gently tighten his grip around IF. "Where's the mommy?" N blinked his eyes.

"...What?" The child pointed at him.

"Mister, you're the big brother right?" N noticed that IF was swinging the empty bottle around and pried it away, after she clonked him on the cheek. The girl giggled as N tried to calm down his upset daughter.

"Aw… com'on Iffy…" Grabbing a pacifier from his bag, N stopped the uprising and sighed in relief. Turning to the girl, N cradled IF in his arms, bouncing her and swinging her from side to side. "Sorry, what was that?" The girl tilted her head to the side.

"Mister-"

"You can call me N." The girl stared at him, mouth slightly open.

"Mister N-" The young father's sucked in his breath. "Where's your mommy?" N paused and stared at the girl.

"Mommy? I- I don't have one." The girl gasped.

"No mommy?" N shook his head.

"No mommy." The girl pulled herself up onto the bench N sat on, pushed herself to a standing position and patted N on the shoulder.

"It's okay, Mister N."

"It's just N-"

"I bet your mommy loves you very much." Pursing his lips, N glanced at IF, who was gripping onto his jacket.

"Thanks… Anyways, Iffy isn't my little sister." The girl's eyes widened, stepping back and covering her mouth. "She's my daughter." The girl's ahoge transformed into a question mark, causing N to be confused.

"Huh?" Feeling IF's grip slacken, N crossed his legs and let IF rest in his lap. N tapped his cheek.

"Well, you see… Uh…" N pointed at the girl. "What's your name, again?" The child smiled.

"I'm Marvy!" A small smile found it's way to N's mouth.

"Marvy, Iffy isn't my little sister. She's my daughter." Marvy's eyes slowly widened.

"She's your baby?" N nodded.

"Yeah." IF began to squirm in N's arms. "Oh, hold up." Shifting IF to his shoulder, N began to pat the infant gently on the back. "So yeah, IF's my kid." A loud burp came from behind N. "Oh, wow that was a big one!" Marvy tilted her head to the side as N held out his daughter. "Aw, who's my adorable baby girl~. You are!" N pulled his daughter into a hug, to which IF gripped onto his sleeves.

"So, where's your wifey?" N blinked his eyes.

"My who?" Marvy copied N.

"Your wifey. The lady you super super love!" Marvy tossed her hands into the air. N pursed his lips.

"Hmm…" N shook his head. "I don't have a wifey." Marvy gasped.

"B-But! You're supposed to!" Marvy waved her arms frantically. "B-But RED said that everyone has a wifey!" N chuckled and placed IF on his lap, patting Marvy on the head.

"Well, my situation is a little more complicated." Suddenly, a voice reached Marvy and N's ears.

"Marvelous, we're going now!" Marvy turned to the direction of the voice.

"Kay~!" Marvy hopped off of the bench and landed on her feet, speading her arms out. N and IF, via N's control, clapped. Marvy turned to the N and IF and waved. "Bye, bye. Mister N!" Marvy ran towards her parents. N grinned at his daughter and pulled her close.

"Why don't we head home today?" A pair of beady eyes stared into N's. The tiny fingers squeezed the young man's sleeve. "Home it is!" Slinging his bag over his shoulder, N carried IF in his arms and walked home. "Hmm… Maybe Granny has some sweets for us!" IF held up her hands and let a small noise. "Haha, me too. Me too."

N and IF walked back home, running into Granny Arfy's welcoming arms. Said arms were filled with chocolate cookies and praise. At night, N placed IF in her bed, tucking her in and kissing her on the forehead. Lying down on the futon next to her, N turned off the lights and closed his eyes. As he was drifting off, N heard IF whimpering and the young man immediately sat up. Turning on the lights, N glanced over at his daughter, figuring out that she was no longer afraid. Scratching his head, the young man turned off the lights again, only for IF's whimpering to returned.

Snapping his fingers, N picked up IF and placed her on his lap. Wrapping the infant in the blanket, the young father took a deep breath and held out his hand. A tiny sparkle of light appeared above his palm. N squeezed his eyes shut and beads of sweat rolled down his face. More sparkles began to appear and condense above his palm. The sparkles formed to create a Sharicite. The Sharicite was nearly dark, emitting a faint light. Fortunately, IF stop whimpering and began to sleep in peace. Sighing in relief, N glanced out the window to see a crescent moon in the sky. Yawning, N slumped against the wall and smiled at IF, brushing her hair off of her face.

"Night, Iffy…"