Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

One Knuckleheaded Glutton

Living After Midnight

An hour after the threesome started, a single screen in front of two sets of eyes lit up. Speakers played, erotic and wild groans and snarls projected. One of the watchers chewed their lip, but the other...

"Why did I agree to this?" Vortex grimaced as he watched a screen that showed him – what Bee called – the Naru Nap room. The girlf– er, mate of the little bastard namesake of the room was laid on the side of the bed, her back to the camera and nothing truly exposed. Beside her, however, Vortex watched as his girlfriend's ankles touched the tips of her ears. Normally a sight he always found arousal with, there was conflict as he watched her legs forced back by the Foxfiend that was her little brother while that bastard's ungrateful dick pierced his girlfriend's tight cunt.

" Yeah! Fuck! Ram it in there! Ram it in! FU-LCK!" Her whine cut off as a clawed hand wrapped around her neck and squeezed. " Yegsh! Har-der!"

Dammit. He grit his teeth as he felt his cock harden, and one hand reached up to rub his neck. He knew how that felt, how it made him feel powerless, how he could be absolutely crushed. Ugh, it pissed the hound off that he was so aroused by it. Shit, but that little bastard had a strong grip...something rubbed over his tented pants and he sucked in a breath. "B-boss!"

"Because Bee wants you to get used to thinking about it. About what you're going to miss out on." The hourglass body of his fellow 'observer' found itself on his lap and her two perfectly plump cheeks sandwiched his growing erection. Her winged back pressed into his chest and she started to stroke his muzzle. "And I'm here to watch another preview."

"You must...nngh...really want...hhgh..that dick, Boss." Vortex groaned, his hand that had rubbed the phantom feeling of being choked, draped over Verosika and joined its brother in fondling her breasts. Fuller and rounder than Bee's, but that was almost to be expected by what was considered the 'peak' Succubus body type.

"You have no fucking idea, Tex." The bittersweet chuckle almost turned him off from the whole thing – because Verosika was more than just his boss, she was his friend, she was Pack; she was essentially family and Vortex cared about his family – but then Bee let out a squeal as she was flipped over and mounted. "Oh, fuck, that's hot."

"Do penile ridges actually feel good?" He wondered as the cock on the Foxfiend — yep, just a hair wider than his, but Vortex was pretty sure they matched in length — became the camera's focus — not for the first time, he wondered why the 'Nap Room' had such advanced cameras in it; whatever Bee got up to in there was definitely some hot kinky shit — before it pressed into his girlfriend's puckered anus. Vortex felt his tongue lull out of his mouth as hard, short thrusts clapped their skin together on screen. His girl's hair was grabbed and pulled while she was pounded into an inverted arch.

"Mm, yeah they spread you real good. Want me to demonstrate?" Verosika asked as her tail slipped under his shirt and slithered over his chest. He growled approvingly and let his eyes drift shut. His girl was whining in so much pleasure — " That's it! Shiiit, awwwn-yeah! Jam that fat fuckstick in my ass, Baby Bro! Yes Yes Yes! " — and Vee's ass felt so good over his hard dick.

"...Fuck it. Sure, why not?"

Red eyes blinked open to a dark room and the owner sat up with a groan. A hand went to her head, which throbbed like she had a hangover. Shit, it hadn't hurt this bad since...fuck, since her twenty-first birthday. The memory of that led her to thoughts of her mate, and thoughts of him led to their last interaction before she purposefully dosed on lube — a sentence she'd never thought that she would think — and she searched her surroundings.

They were in his room, not the Red Room, and he wasn't anywhere to be found. Okay, she can fix this, she just had to get a whiff of his scent and—Lucifer's Halls in Pride, what the fuck was that smell?! It smelt like someone's gratuitous sex hole got filled up, corked for a week and then got shat out!

...Look, before you start judging, Loona saw a lot of crazy shit during her time in The Orphanage. Not all of it was pretty. That was one pup she almost felt bad for. Almost.

"Nuh...gib mur...Bruh..."

Covering her nose and wincing from the fast turn of her head, Loona looked to her right and found the very Sin she wasn't overly fond of at the moment on the floor. Bee was bundled up in a bunch of towels so tight that only her face was exposed. She almost looked like a burrito. A Bee burrito.

Well, Naruto did that, no question about it, Loona thought with a deadpan stare. That sort of dumb joke was exactly up his alley...and Blitzø's come to think of it; oh fuck, she suddenly wasn't sure if one hating the other was better or worse than them getting along. That conundrum was blissfully brushed aside when her nose found the awful smell's source. A stinky Bee burrito? Why is She—?

Bee's murmurs stopped when her face screwed up before she sighed and the stank became even more apparent. Ah, so hers were silent, but deadly all the time. Gross.

Covering her mouth so as not to retch, Loona rolled the other way and exited the bed she was lying in alone. Alone. The revelation made her pause, but before her still half-asleep subconscious got too far ahead of herself, she saw a sticky note on her mate's pillow.

Slept in hammock outside. Sorry, Love.

She presumed the apology was for the impromptu stink bomb he'd inadvertently left her with. She'd ask why the fuck he'd think that was okay, but she had a feeling that she already knew the answer. She pulled the note up and —there was a second note beneath the first. Were she not dying from the toxic fumes that wafted from the Sin of Gluttony's tight ass, Loona would've laughed at it.

Do Not Wake Bee!

The last bit was underlined quite furiously. There had to be a story there. She'd get it from him once she got out of the danger zone. Once she'd gotten out of the room – with a parting odorous ass blast from the bundled up and dozing Sin; god damn, the gas she was letting out should be a fucking war crime! Unholy shit! – Loona was met with a team of opaque face-shielded individuals in white HAZMAT suits. The suits blocked their scents, but she could tell just by the way they shifted awkwardly around her they were her mates' clones.

" Chrk - Boss said to hit the showers before you come find him." One brave fake offered, voice slightly obscured by the protective gear he and the others wore. He turned to his brethren and his shoulders sagged. " Alright guys, you know how this goes: Move fast. Move quiet. And don't take off your suits until the job is done."

" This tanks. I can't believe I have to do this because I said I was bored of restoration duties." One of the clones groaned as they started to enter the room. His head shook. " We should get more ramen for this shit."

" Hey, man, don't drag me down for your fuck up. I was totally fine with my mopping duty in the East wing. " One argued. A few of the other masked duplicates mumbled and murmured agreement. Loona watched them file off with a snort and then checked her scent with a quick whiff of her forearm.

Urrp, yep. Naruto had a good point. She should definitely shower first.

One slightly painful shower later – the loofah and bath sponges did not get deep enough and Loona was certain she left a few cuts on her body somewhere with how hard her claws scrubbed against her skin – and she was back on the hunt for her mate. Now, she was wearing an appropriated Judas Priest 2008 Tour shirt that she snagged from her mate's closet during their first day in Gluttony and a pair of fitted shorts underneath it. Without Bee's unholy gas assaulting her nose – Don't think about it too much, you'll retch again! – she caught wind of his scent and followed it outside to the treeline. A few 'rows' in and she found her target.

Naruto was, as his note said he would be, lying in a hammock, with his tail draped over an edge and dangling down a hair's breadth from the ground. His eyes were closed and his head rested on interlocked hands with his chin tilted up as he basked in the crack of sunlight that filtered down through the trees onto his face and body. His lips were pulled back into that sweet little heart melting smile of his and a barely noticeable rumble, almost akin to a purr, was heard if she listened for it. A loose pair of shorts kept him decent and his chain collar was the only thing he wore above the waist.

Loona instinctively pulled her phone out and quietly captured a few pictures, but hesitated before she posted it.

Should she even share this moment? Any other day of any other prior week, she wouldn't have blinked an eye at the thought. Any picture she had of her boyfriend-turned-mate was hers to use to brag, hers to lord his status and opinions over the lessers that followed them, hers to flaunt his innate and unintentional aesthetic appeal on social media. But...part of her was sick of sharing him already.

Their sex videos didn't expose a lot, but enough horny freaks out there had downloaded them to the point that the Sin of Lust and fucking Valentino of The Vees had contacted her about protecting her likeness. In case anyone wondered, not that it was any of their fucking business, she'd agreed to a tentative trial contract with the former. 'Weakest' Sin in Hell Asmodeus might be, he was still leagues stronger than the Sinner from Pride.

More recently, however, was what transpired last night. She'd given Bee her way very reluctantly – she didn't want to miss out a single round, let alone four or five, just so the Sin of Gluttony could have some 'alone time' with her 'Baby Bro'; there were better fucking ways to spend time with a 'sibling', especially when he had a mate! – but the alternative option was worse. She started a low growl just by thinking about it. A pregnancy – if it was even fucking possible for the Sin to get pregnant; everyone in Hell knew how much of an anomaly Princess Morningstar was and there were MANY theories on how she came to be – was off the fucking table! That was her stupid sexy Mate and she would be the only bitch in all of Hell that would have his Puppies!

"If you aren't going to take a picture, then just come join me already." Loona's growl quieted in an instant and she frowned at his still closed eyes. Wait, what? How the fuck did he–? As if he knew what she was going to ask, he pointed at his nose. "You're downwind, Loon."

Oh. Her ears turned back as they burned, that was so obvious in hindsight. She slipped her phone into her pocket and crossed her arms over her chest before she walked over to him as his hand went back behind his head. Blue eyes cracked open and his smile seemed to grow a bit wider when they found her looking down at him.

"Hey."

"...Did you have to leave her in the room with me?"

"Do you want to have this conversation standing up, or do you want to join me?" His eyes gained a playful twinkle and The Wriggler flicked up suddenly. "Be warned, I am a serial cuddler and will snatch the nearest pretty girl up to pull into my hammock with me."

Don't wag. Don't wag. Don't wag! – Swoosh-swoosh-swoosh–swoosh-swoosh – Dammit. Stupid Doof and his suave childish charm. Loona narrowed her eyes and huffed before she looked him and his hammock over.

"How do I–?"

"Ask for help."

"...I was before you interrupt–" The sound she elicited when his hands shot out and caught her hips was not a squeak, a yelp or a yip, it was a surprised grunt. On principle, Loona didn't make squeaks, nor did she let out yelps or yips. She did grunt and growl on occasion, and the latter was what she did when she realized she was in the hammock with her mate. Laying on his chest, his firm, toned, scarred chest – don't get distracted by the situation, he just manhandled me!

"Doof! What was–?!"

"You just had to ask for help, Loon." He grinned at her and his neck craned down to push his nose against hers. Ooh, a morning Boop? Yes yes yes, Loona was all for that! Her eyes closed and she hummed as she leaned into their unique gesture of unity – Mate Mate Mate, Doof Doof Doof, Love Love Love – and let out a soft moan of want when his breath warmed her lips. She tried to deepen it, but ultimately whined when he denied her as he pulled away. Her red eyes opened to meet his blues once more.

"Doof..." She frowned as her hands slid up and over his shoulders, loosely wrapping around his neck. His smile dimmed and his claws gently brushed down her back. One hand went back to rest behind his head as he looked up at the sky.

"I am sorry for the Bee Burrito. We had to, uh, clean up after I hit her anal G-spot."

Loona's tail flicked irritably and she scowled. Well, that explains why he didn't let her kiss him. He was mad. Her eyes closed and she rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady. Calm. Her brow furrowed.

"Are you mad?"

"At Bee? Furious." He admitted and his claws paused midway down her back. "Not at you, though."

"...You're not mad at me?" She would be livid if she was in his place. "For going along with Bee's–Er, she did tell you it was...uh, her idea, right?"

"I gathered as much when you two just agreed to jump into it after you both stepped out to 'freshen up'. I mean, I guess I am a little mad." He looked at her – damn his stupid pretty blue eyes, Loona felt her heart clench at the dark emotion that reflected in them; the hurt that was evident for her to see – with a frown. "You really...You really scared me, Loon. I couldn't get an answer out of you, and your Vibes were...Just...gone. Muted. Then Bee decided to have a fuckin laugh about it, before she dropped the bomb about the fucking lube, which didn't help at fucking all."

"...I'm sorry..." Ugh, her voice needed to not be so quiet. She was not a weak-willed bitch, she was a proud fucking hound. Her sweet Doof made her so...So...

Fuck, no. No! Do not cry! Don't fucking cry! Her eyes burned and she squeezed her eyes shut. Dammit! No! Power through this like the mostly indomitable bitch you are, Loona!

"I fucked up. I know I fucked up." She tried to fight back the whimper, to force back the tears. Shit, this fucking asshole just managed to melt through all of her hard-wrought walls, didn't he? She blamed his stupid little smile, his cute wriggling tail...Dammit, she had no one to blame but herself. Loona let her guard down and her Doof managed to slip his foot in the door. She nuzzled into his chest. "And I'm not trying to fuckin' – fuckin' cry my way out of this or some shit, I just...just, fuck! God dammit, I tried to talk her out of it, Naruto. I swear I did, I swear, but she pulled the fucking Sin Card and it was either that or...Or she'd want...I couldn't, accept it. I couldn't let her have that. I'm so ...so fuckin' sorry."

"Loon– No, c'mon." He hauled himself, and consequently her, up further in the hammock and sat up – Not the first time he maneuvered in this thing; also clearly not the time to make that observation either, Loona – to wrap his arms around her. She hugged him back and hid her eyes in his neck, immersed herself in his scent, their scent: Vanilla, Violet and Almost Coconut. His chin rested on her head and he rumbled. His thumb rubbed her shoulder. "Loon, hey, I don't blame you. I'm a little mad you didn't try to ask me for help – I can handle Bee's idiosyncrasies, I've been doing it on and off for fuckin' millennia – and, yeah, I'm hurt that you'd be willing to risk hurting yourself before that. That you're okay with scaring me like that...which is probably how you felt when I got shot, huh?"

"...Oh, fuck, is that what you're taking from this?" Loona groaned. He was a Doof, she loved him so much, but at the end of the day...he was a Doof. "That isn't the same thing–"

"I didn't know what was happening and I thought you were going into shock or something." He huffed. ...Okay, so similar. Loona wordlessly conceded to that, but it wasn't the fucking same. He rubbed his muzzle on her head. "Look, the point is, my Mate conspired with my fucked up sister to trick me so she could...what, get her pipes cleaned?"

"She wanted 'alone time'." Loona grumbled. Naruto's rumble cut and he pulled back. She looked up at him and sniffed. "What?"

"...She wanted alone time? We did that last time, and you seemed fine just watching."

" Consecutive knots, multiple rounds in a row, with my mate?" Loona growled and nipped at his neck. He hissed and she licked the spot before nuzzling it again. "Sin or not, you're my mate. I let the first round go because I agreed to it before...and because you were stupid and I needed a vent."

"Reaming my ass is your vent." He snorted. She grumbled and pinched his side. He growled at the act but it didn't last. "Rotten Zombie Christ...I never thought I would wind up hearing that from someone...And liking it..."

"The point, Doof," she growled, interrupting his musing, "Is that I didn't trust myself to not do something stupid in the midst of something. Bee didn't either."

"So, scaring me was the alternative you two decided on?" He deadpanned. "I thought I was the idiot in the relationship."

"You're not – I wasn't–" Loona closed her eyes and growled in frustration. "Look, it-it wasn't the best idea– I know, but...she's a Sin, Naruto and maybe you're fucking strong enough to fight that...but I'm...I'm just fuckin' not."

"Okay, then, let's fix that." Oh, yeah, sure, like it was that fucking simple.

"It's not that easy, Doof." Loona huffed bitterly. He tilted her head up so she would look him in the eye. A fire lay in his bright eyes, like the distant glow of the sun that stretched across the sky. It was the same fire that was there before his final match in the Elysium fights. The fire he had when he promised her to win.

"Loona, what was the alternative you wouldn't let happen?"

Indignant rage, not aimed at him, flared into life. The alternative request played in her head over and over. With each repeat that fire stoked her Wrath. Growling, she reached up and cupped his face. Her lips pressed to his and she forced a kiss on him that he responded to after a moment.

"Mwah! Hah...hah..." She panted when they had to separate for air. Her lips curled on her snout and she bared her teeth. "First: You are mine. My Mate! Your cock is mine. Your balls are mine. And your Pups will be mine. Agreed?!"

"Fuck yes ." He growled back at her. She absently heard the Wriggler going nuts beneath them, switching through its many sounds. Still, he agreed.

"Good." She pushed the tip of her nose to his. Boop. They calmed, together, her more so than him; his arousal was evident as his shorts' did little to hide the mass that pressed into her ass. Once they'd calmed, she growled as the request passed through her head again. "She wanted you to give her a pup."

Naruto closed his eyes and groaned. Not in pain, not in arousal, but in sheer confusion.

"Fuck...I might actually kill my sister. What the fuck."

"Yeah, imagine how I felt." Loona deadpanned. He nodded and opened his eyes back up.

"Okay. I understand why you went with the first request." He cupped her face as she did his. "But Loon, you can get strong enough to fight a Sin."

"Doof... Naruto, I'm just a Hellhound."

"So the fuck what?" He snorted and – new record, he held another part of her body for more than ten seconds this time – his hands dropped to her hips as his nose gently brushed against hers. "Your talent with magic...I've never seen any Hellhound that was as gifted and fucking clever with spells as you are. Do you even use incantations?"

"...No?" She frowned as he stared at her. "Is...that bad?"

"Uh...No, Loon. Unholy...Yeah, okay. So." He grinned at her as he leaned back. "I have a plan. It's vile, you'll hate it and hate me for it–"

"Not exactly selling me on the plan, Doof." She deadpanned as her hands dropped to his shoulders. His thumbs were making circles on her hips and his aforementioned arousal hadn't exactly gone away.

"– Buuuut it'll piss Bee off a whole fuckin lot if we do it."

"Alright, I'm interested." She smirked and leaned into him again. "Details?"

"Well, I reconnected with an old friend the other day, you might remember?"

"...I think I can see where you're going with this...So, turn his offer back on him for what? Lessons?"

"Yeah," he said with a wince. "That might be the part you hate me for."

"Mm, maybe you'll just have to suffer with me then."

"...You're so fuckin' devious." He growled at her and pushed his nose lightly against her again. She pushed back. Boop. Their lips ghosted a chaste kiss as their tails showed their enthusiasm. "Hey, I just had a second great idea."

"New record."

"We...should date." He waggled his brows and she blinked at him a few times. What the fuck– Where did that come f–? No. No, she didn't. She didn't! "I mean, I know I'm no Violet and Coconut Candy Guy, but–"

"You are such an asshole." Loona growled around a laugh as she pushed him back onto the hammock. He pulled her with him and they laid together once more. His claws drifted up her sides and her breath hitched. Oh, did he want a Spot Stroke Off?! Challenge accepted, Doof!

As they started to tease and physically torment each other, the silent agreement passed between them. Words said before, understood, and shared. Three simple, innocent words that alone, meant nothing, but together became one of the most powerful, dangerous, amazing and deadliest phrase in Hell, Heaven and on Earth.

I love you.

AN: Alright, Vortex scene aside, a mostly Loona POV chap! ...That's, nearly, two in a row. Huh. Not intentional, but given the situation, I think it's more than fair.

Also, who's ready for a training arc?! ...No, Steve, I was being facetious! Of course, I'm not!

Remember, it's just Fan-Fiction