Date posted: 16th January 2023

The grind never ends, just ask Sisyphus.

Chapter 17: Fungi Business

Caps and shells may fall to dust,
But Mr Mushroom readjusts...

- Hollow Knight

There was a tension in the air that wasn't there before, replacing the festive celebration of the first day.

Lisbeth noticed this as she woke up for the next morning. Her forge was working at optimal speed; merchants and knights asked for horseshoes, tournament goers asked for nails or to fix their own tools, or the Watch's incessant need for more locks. She had her apprentices rotate for the morning and the evening shift, for there was always an endless appetite for iron.

She recalled her dark days working at Mankhlar's many factories. Too much smoke, expensive rent, sharing an apartment with twenty other folks, not enough food, the water was dirty, and a whole host of problems. To say her current occupation was an upgrade would be an understatement. And all she needed to do was swallow her pride and beg a stranger for food.

She reapplied the pink dye on her hair, put on her leather apron and tucked her dwarven smithing hammer in her belt. It was still dawn, the sun barely peeking over the hills. It was at this point she would do some exercise, but the fields were aplenty of fighters looking for gold and glory. Instead, she'd opted for a walk before breakfast.

Even now, after days of people coming and going in and preparing for the tournament, the sight of so many people still surprised her, and activated a faint form of panic, reminding her of the dirty streets of Mankhlar. Her current path also happened to be occupied by a couple of drunks beating the snot out of each other, so she decided to take a walk in the forest for now. Already, se could hear the familiar shuffling of feet in dirt and the click-clacks of wooden swords hitting each other.

After a fair distance of walking, the sounds were drowned out, replaced by the singing of beards and the rushing of the nearby river. Sunlight shone over the trees as she felt the last days of summer warming her skin.

Lisbeth walked a fair distance, doing her rounds. Even this far, she could see strangers camping in the rough or hunters returning from a day's trip, a bundle of rabbits on a stick or a deer slung over the back of a horse. What was once exotic to her city girl view was now as mundane as schoolwork.

After half an hour of being by her lonesome, she made her way back, until she spotted a stranger by the riverbank. He appeared to be deep in thought, his feet in the river. A fishing rod was stuck in the dirt, though it appeared to be unused. A pretty katana lay on a nearby mat. There was something similar about him.

Out of a sense of curiosity, she approached him. "Morning!"

The stranger almost jumped at her greeting. "Oh, Lisbeth-san. It's you."

She cocked her head at that. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

The stranger, a bearded man in his thirties, in simple clothes, opened his mouth before suddenly closing. "No, we uh, haven't met. My name is Nes … Just Nes."

"Nes, huh? How'd you know who I am?"

"Not many smiths with pink hair about." He pointed at her belt, she glanced down to see her hammer. "Not many smiths with dwarven hammers either."

Ahah, so her reputation had grown. Lisbeth flicked her hair and allowed herself a swell of pride. "My name precedes me, it seems."

"Indeed, it has. Are you going back?"

"Sure. Join me."

The dirt road turned to gravel as they made their way back. "So, Nes-san, you a player?"

The older man smiled. "That obvious?"

"Well, not many NPCs that look Japanese."

"Fair, fair."

"What'cha doing here? Pleasure or busines?"

"A bit of both. Not many tournaments are run by players, it's always NPCs. Though I'd try to see what all the hubbub is about. Not competing though, I ain't good enough for that. So how's work?"

She cracked her neck. "Busy, as always. Got a buncha apprentices now, to do the boring work. You know, the kind we've replaced with machines back in the real world."

"Do you?" he asked, a tinge of interest creeping into his voice.

"They're fine, I guess. They're all NPCs from Mankhlar. Half of them are goblins. None of them can bang a hinge without my instruction, traded a good apprentice for a bunch of low level ones. It's a pain in the ass, really."

"You had an apprentice?"

She nodded. "Yep. Nezha's his name, really weird how similar you've got a similar name."

"My old man gave me his Super Famicom when I was young, that's why I named myself this. Besides, how many players you know are named Miyamoto?"

"Says the fella with the katana," she said, pointing to his belt. Nes looked, as if surprised he was wearing one. "Nice sword, by the way. You bought it or got it from a quest reward?"

"Oh, it isn't mine. It's … a friend's. I lost my old sword in a gamble, so he lent me his."

"Must be a good friend, if he lent you such a good katana." Like Nes, there was also something similar about said sword. "Hey, I recognise this!"

Nes' face went pale. "Y-you do?"

"Yeah! A guy I know, Guld, he has a similar sword!" She narrowed his eyes on him. "Wait, are you Guld's friend?"

"G-guld?"

"Yeah, Git Guld. A real tryhard, about twenty or so, wears fancy samurai gear. He's a member of the Eternal Watch?"

His mouth gaped like a fish before finally answering, "No. This is my friend's. It's a quest reward from a few floors ago. Don't know who this Guld fella is, sorry."

Lisbeth stared at the stranger before shrugging. "Right, sorry about that. We're all a bit stressed, is all."

Nes let out a sigh of relief. "Business problems?"

"Well … something like that." She considered telling the stranger how Guld went AWOL but Kirito's already at his hair's end about bad PR and decided against it.

They finally made their way back to Eternal Vigilance's surroundings. Traffic and work was picking up and her HUD clock told her it was seven AM, just in time for breakfast. "Anyway, I need to go back. Nice chatting to you, Nes-san. Come by to my smithy sometime, I'll show you some cool stuff."

"Yeah, that'd be great. See you later, Lis."

With that, the master smith went to one of Kirito's recommended spots, a place called Agil's serving burgers. It was nice to chat with new people from time to time, it really broadens one's horizons.

Yet, for some reason, Lisbeth couldn't help but feel a nagging feeling at the back of her head.

Little changed in the way since the riot, much to Kirito's thankfulness. When asked about the situation back in the Prisoner's dungeon, little remembered what transpired at all. Interviews conducted by Lt. Hwiatha followed a similar pattern:

"I felt a sense of disappointment needing to exit the tour I paid for, then suddenly got extremely angry. I heard some chanting for refunds, and the next thing I knew, I found myself in a world of hurt," concluded the Watchman as he snapped his wax tablet close. "Almost every one of their testaments went like that."

Kirito leaned over his table as he took it all in. "Was it something they ate? Were they drunk?"

"No, sir. Our food is clean, we made sure of that. No drinking is allowed in the dungeon either, nor anyone drunk may be allowed to enter."

It was at that moment that Argo presented her thesis. "I am going to present my thesis!"

"You can't say that whenever you have a guess, that's not what thesis means," said Asuna.

Argo ignored her. "I think someone's trying to sabotage us!"

"Sabotage?" said Tupi. "But who? I do not think the Cult of Conotocarious is capable of such a thing. They are far too dramatic, what with the zombies and black robes and the like."

Which was true, Asuna even made sure to tell the guards and the sheriffs to keep their eyes out on any cheap black robes. This did lead to an instance where Shaste had manhandled the poor CEO and thrown him into the fort's dungeon for questioning, so Asuna became a bit more precise in her wording.

"Yet, I did feel a wave of magical energy erupting in the dungeon," said Ava, who looked no worse for wear but some dark rings under her eyes. She had not stopped working on the seals for hours and only had a few scant hours of sleep, even with Professor Ramza's help. Argo was sure she'd turn the Rat into the Toad, when she'd woken the mage up for the meeting. "We cannot discount the possibility the cult has become more subtle in their means of warfare."

The professor finally spoke up, "Aside from the evil cult of necromancers trying to unleash a castle-ending being from its prison, what other enemies has the Kirito Corporation have?"

"Enemies? The Corporation does not have enemies! Enemies are bad for business," the CEO insisted. "The only all players is the mad god that trapped all of us in this place."

"Well, you still have the Tyrant's Guard," said Asuna.

"Bah, they're all dispatched. A lot of them are thrown into the Bastille," said Kirito.

"How about the Thieves Guild?" said Argo.

"Also gone into hiding. Whatever remnants they may have probably moved onto other places. Like acting as highwaymen or menacing the other cities, but hey, that wasn't the Corporation's problems.

"There's the Beaver Clans of the United Dams," said Brother Rays. "We did get into a scuffle with them."

"The beavers are too busy fighting against the Clearers, that or they're already whipped. Next suggestion?"

Everyone in the office looked at each other, thinking very hard. What Kirito said was true, he basically had no enemies. Even Miyuki 'Marco' Kutaragi, guildmaster of the Aincradian Players Mercantile Guild, was a business partner.

But Argo had an idea: "Maybe it was Nezha."

The room turned to look at her and she shrugged. "What? That's the one guy Kirito had wronged."

"I very much disagree, Miss Rat," said the paladin. "We found the book in his trunk, he must be the one. Who else knows the true worth of the book? Even most of the Watch knows little of it. And I defended him in court!"

Argo raised her hands defensively. "Hey, hey, I ain't gonna repeat that trial stuff. I'm just saying if anyone this little business of ours has offended, it was him."

Kirito poured another cup of tea for himself, only to find it was empty. "Nevermind that. Nezha is gone, who knows where. I don't care. What we need is to get some more money, and that's what we'll focus on. Tupi, what's next for this morning's schedule?"

The steward checked his tablet. "Races in the morning, the melee later in the afternoon and Sa'id the Suluk's show later this evening."

"Fantastic. Professor Ramza, Apprentice Ava, please continue your magical stuff thingy. Make sure that cursed tome is locked properly. Professor, didn't you say there's some heavily armed nuns on site?"

"Yes, Lord Kirito. They're called the Order of Saint Olga and they specialise in fighting orcs. However, there's been a lull as of late since the last great orc war. They're not fully trained in the arts of fighting undeath as the Ghazis of Suyufa al-Shams, but a holy order they are and can be of immense use."

Kirito nodded. "Very good. Bring this Abbess here in an hour, I will have words with her. Lieutenant Hwiatha, you and Master-at-Arms Robert continue to be on guard. Cut the number of attendants for the prison by a third, charge 25% more. No, jack up the price to 25% more, but say we're doing a 25% discount."

"That's false advertising," said Asuna disapprovingly.

"Well it's a good thing Japan's Consumer Affairs Agency doesn't exist in Aincrad, huh? Anything else? No? Good, be about your day everyone. Except you two, stay here."

As everyone left the room, only three remained. At that, Kirito deflated, sinking into his chair. The poor boy seemed to age a few years in the last month or so. "Alright, the riot was a disaster, but it was a mitigated disaster. We're still good for now. Argo, you've got any good news?"

At that, the Rat beamed. "A little birdie of mine may have some intel on what happened. It's a small lead, but a lead nonetheless."

"Good. Asuna, anything else?"

The knight looked no worse for wear since yesterday's joust. "Um, I won first place. Remember?"

Kirito blinked. "Oh. Oh you did. Sorry, it's just been, you know. Congrats."

"Thanks!"

"Right."

"Uhuh."

"Yep."

"Sure."

The two of them stared at the walls, finding them the most interesting things in the world. "So, how's Kumo-chan?" Kirito finally asked.

"She's fine. I gave her three sugar cubes as a treat."

"What a good girl she is."

"Listen Aa-chan, if you ain't jumping Kii-bou's bones soon, then I am."

Both CEO and bodyguard turned to her. "ARGO!" they yelled.

She shrugged. "I swear, you two act like a pair of horny teenagers. Which, well I guess you two are."

"I'm eighteen, you know," said Asuna.

"And you're making out with a seventeen year old? Tsk tsk, Aa-chan. Does your taste in young manflesh know no bounds?"

Her face became as red as her hair. "Y-you know about that?"

"EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT THAT!" Argo went to the door and snatched her bison hide cloak off the hanger. "You two lovebirds resolve your sexual tension, I've got leads to chase."

With that, she shut the door, leaving the two alone.

Kirito finally broke the silence. "So, makeout session before the next event?"

"Makeout session," said Asuna, as she cleared the desk of clutter and hauled her lover onto his desk.

It was about eight thirty in the morning when Argo strolled around the demesne of the fort. She munched on some pemmican as she walked; she always found she focused better when working on a less than full stomach. Apparently, some people trying to lose weight skipped breakfast, and called this intermittent fasting. In her household, it was called not having enough money to buy any food.

Few gave the small woman any attention. She was one of a thousand visitors to the tournament. Argo flipped through her notepad, a custom book she specifically ordered being made. Paper wasn't exactly rare, but they weren't actually common either. Most writing was still done on parchment with quill. Pencils had yet to exist, so she was stuck with a quill. Man, she missed using her smartphone with the stylus. Her old man put a lot of work into buying that for her.

There was a list of leads she had narrowed down after speaking with Hwitha, Robert and Sinon. Lucky Argo, her first lead was just nearby. And, perhaps more importantly, not too deep in the forest.

A quick trip later down the road, off the beaten path, Argo heard the music long before she spotted the bright red tent and a familiar face. "Sa'id, still hiding from your agent?"

Even in the sticks, Sa'id was sitting on a fancy rug and was surrounded by a fort of cushions. A small fire was burning in front of him. "You are a better seeker than my agent, that is for sure." Then he frowned. "I was told my concert was to begin yesterday."

"Well, there was a riot," said Argo as she hitched her pony. "Don't worry, you're still on for tonight."

"Hmm, I have heard of the news." He strung his lute again, letting out a melodious tune. "If I was there, perhaps I could have calmed the rowdy crowd with my music."

"Didn't work last time you were running away from the Tyrant's guards," she said as she sat on a nearby log.

"Their small minds could not even begin to appreciate my music. What can this bard help you with? More advice for the heart?"

"No, no. I need something else - intel." Her head was on the mission, and definitely not fantasizing Kirito and Asuna going at it like animals.

He smiled. "This, the bard can provide."

Argo asked him what he knew of magic, which he admitted to knowing little. "Magic is the realm of wizards or warlocks. Only those eggheads at an-Nur knows of these things. Do you not have a professor staying at your fort, why not ask him?"

"They admit to not knowing much, so I hoped you did. From what reports say, someone casted a spell of some kind, turning folks as mad as a Karen being denied her latte."

Sa'id thought for a moment of this. "Hmm, fortuitous for you, I know someone who can help."

It was only less than a kilometer from where Sa'id had set up camp, but it took her far longer than she cared to admit.

Once or twice, she could spot beavers in the treeline, glaring at her with weapons in paw. She picked up the pace.

She found herself deep in the forest as followed the smoke trail in the sky in the west. Argo was nearing the western edge of the 16th Floor, the tall mountain-curtain of the walls surrounding it looming over her. Thankfully, it wasn't too far off from where Sa'id had camped, maybe about one and a half times the distance between Fort Eternal Vigilance and Fort Arrowhead. There were no roads at all, only trails left by hunters, explorers and animals.

The smoke led her to a clearing, a fence circling it. Two tipis were set up at the edge of the clearing, a constructed well on another edge, and a shack that was yet finished. In the middle of said clearing was a man, with short brown hair and a bookish look to him. He wore the buckskin clothes of the natives: tunic, pants, and moccasin, but the crossbow on said table was smithy-made and the very modern looking scientist robe he wore marked him as a player. Aside from him was a pony and a mule, but no one else. He was hunched over a table, a variety of unfamiliar herbs and chemical tools laid before him.

He did not look up. "Ah, you've finally returned. Have you found the herbs I asked for?"

Argo dismounted her pony. "I think you're mistaking me for someone else, egghead."

The man looked up, startled; Argo noticed he wore glasses, which was completely aesthetics, on the account of every player logging into SAO with 20/20 vision. He narrowed his eyes on her. "Who are you?"

"Oh, don't go reaching for that crossbow of yours. Our mutual bard friend said I'd find you here."

The herbalist sighed as he returned to his work. "I told Sa'id not to blabber about this sort of thing." He stood straight and adjusted his lab coat. "Apologies for my manners. Name's Vladimir."

Argo shook hands with him. "Argo the Rat."

He smiled. "Ah, I've heard of you. SAO's best info broker."

"The best! Whatcha doing in the ass end of nowhere, Vlady?"

Vladimir gestured to his table. "Herb collecting. You'd be surprised at the amount of Crafting related quests in the game. Lots of it is randomly generated: women asking for silphium, a potion shop wanting raw ingredients, and the like. The big cash is from player guilds wanting potions that buff Attributes, Resistances, and um … stamina."

Argo frowned. "That's weird, SAO doesn't have stamina as a player sta – oooh, I getcha. You got any for sale?" If Argo was going to jump him, he's gonna need a pick-me-up for when it happens.

"I don't, and even if I did, you couldn't afford it."

"Try me."

Vladimir told her, and her eyes went wide. "That's robbery! I've seen players pay less for XP potions!"

"I have literally seen players pay a dungeon's worth of treasure for one. You could become a millionaire if you could farm the ingredients, which you can't. And I'm an apothecary, not an alchemist. Anyway, what can I do for you?"

She repeated the tale and the player listened intently. "And you're sure it was a spell?"

"Definitely, so it must be the work of NPCs."

"Well, not exactly."

Argo cocked her head. "What do you mean? Players can't do magic."

Early on in SAO's development, there were plans for players to cast magic. It was apparently based on Akihiko Kayaba's homebrewed design of some long forgotten tabletop game, which used to have classes, right down to copying the attributes and skills. Argus switched to a classless design when the owners of the game rescinded their Free Game License. It was a big controversy back in the day, and something Argo wasn't privy to, being unfamiliar with the tabletop roleplaying scenes. The creators of the game were long dead, completely destroyed when they went after the dread entity known only as the Mouse (unrelated to the Rat, that was herself).

Not that most people cared about the lack of spellcasting. The very concept of Full Dive was in itself in the realm of scifi, which was magic itself. Besides, spellcasting did exist in-game in the form of mobs and NPCs; it was deemed by the devs that such mechanics could not be properly balanced and the mechanic was removed sometime in development, but remnants of it existed in the form of lore. Many hoped it would be added with DLC, but well, you know what happened next.

Vladimir leaned back in his chair. "Are you familiar with «Basileus Fire»?"

"Well yeah, who isn't?"

«Basileus Fire» was a type of chemical, their most common form being «Basileus Fire Grenades». It was available early on since Floor 6, though you could have gotten it on Floor 2 if you leveled up your «Alchemy» and did the «Secrets of the Imperator» quest. It was an obscure quest, though it had been noted in the wiki back when she contributed to it in the beta. You basically had to ignore all combat skills and spent most of your time grinding.

Argo of course, had little interest in Alchemy, but being SAO's best info broker meant she knew quite a bit about every skill.

Vladimir produced a very bright branch of red herbs which he quickly grinded with mortar and pestle. To Argo's untrained, it looked like chili paste but she had bad enough encounters with odd looking plants to say that with any sort of authority.

Then suddenly, Vladimir grabbed the mortar and chucked the paste into the fire. A great inferno ignited, fire erupting into the air, casting long shadows in the clearing. It made the Rat jump and almost land on her ass and her own horse reared in fright. The apothecary's pony and mule continued to munch on grass, likely used to their owner's shenanigans.

"Hey, what the hell did cha' do that for?! Coulda killed me with a heart attack!"

Vladimir continued his previous work, ignoring the Rat's outburst. "There are reagents, potions, and elixirs that are, by all accounts, reskins of spells. A standard «Basileus Fire Grenade» is actually similar to a «Fire Drake's» breath spell. The only difference is the damage number and size. That's just one example. Many mob abilities, but also parts of nature, were made first in spell form. A «Seep Sight» potion has the same properties as a mage's «Blindness Spell». A «Lux Tube » is a «Glow Gem» light found in more advanced dungeons."

"Yeah so? Devs reuse assets all the time, I don't see where this is going." Sure, some gamers may complain about lazy devs reusing assets and copypasting tilesets, but to Argo, who had been reusing old stuff since she was a kid, that was being frugal and smart.

Vladimir shot her a look like a teacher would, as if urging a student trying to figure a solution out themselves. Even in a Death Game she couldn't escape school.

She scrunched her face, as one does when thinking hard, but it came to her. "Ohhh… I get you now."

Vladimir smiled, please. He began peeling leaves off a branchl. "And what is that, Miss Rat?"

"It wasn't a magic spell, it was some sort of potion that did it."

"Exactly."

"Then again, if it was a potion, the guards would have noticed a puff of smoke or something."

Vladimir shrugged. "It's either that, or an artefact of some kind. Alchemy is a varied subject, it could be anything."

"Like a «Magic Item»?" she asked.

Like «Alchemy», «Magic Items» also came in many varieties. Most notable were weapons and armour, which almost always were in the hands of guild leaders or guild champions, not unlike the «Blackguard's Plate» currently in the possession of the Raiders. She racked her brain thinking of something that could enrage someone, but none came to mind.

"I'm afraid that's beyond my skill set. The only ingredients I know that could induce such madness is a type of mushroom called «Amok». I'll write down its description here. Where you might find them, I wouldn't know, I've used up all of mine. Maybe you know someone who does."

Argo took the note. "I think I know a certain huntress that can help me out. Thanks, Vlady. I appreciate it."

She caught the flask in hand and examined it. "Huh, what's this?"

"I call it «Davai», a mix of «Amok» mushrooms and «Elf Foot» leaves, giving you both the +25 Damage and +15% move speed."

"Oooh." She eyed it strangely. "What's the catch?"

"Well, that's the thing, I have no idea. Test subjects are far too pricey and giving it to some poor farmer is a bit unethical for my tastes, NPC or no. The most likely thing to happen is you'll suffer something like a caffeine crash. All I ask is you jot down the notes. Ah-ah, no payment please. Just report it back to me. My instructions and address are glued to it."

"Hmm, okay then." Argo replaced the flask back into a pouch. "However, as a stakeholder in the Kirito Corporation, I'd be remiss if I don't offer something in return."

Vladimir took the ticket in hand. "Huh, so there's a tournament? Run by a player? Interesting."

She cocked her head. "Really, you don't know? As Head of Advertising, I gotta work on that."

"Speaking of which, are the Clearers done with the 16th Floor Boss yet?"

Argo blinked. "Bro, how long have you been out in the sticks? That was months ago."

Vladimir lifted an arm, smelled himself and made a face. "You don't wanna know."

Pain wasn't really a thing in SAO. It existed but the formulae for pain and its threshold was something that wasn't so easily measured. Players had a stat called «Pain Threshold», which, if exceeded, the injured body part would simply stop functioning, as if being sedated.

This wasn't the first nor will it be the last time Sinon had broken a limb. First time it happened, she had set up an iron jaw trap when hunting down a bear way back in the day.

She was careless and had accidentally triggered the mechanism, almost losing fingers in the process. Her hand had gone semi-numb as she was slowly losing blood. She had foolishly left her boot knife by the campfire, thus defeating the purpose of a boot knife. A little poking with a study stick and she was freed.

Her left arm had been a little too ripped up to effectively use her bow, which was the catalyst for her to learn the sling and the javelin. Lucky for her, she had a bundle of them via a trade from some local hunters.

Was it extremely stupid to hunt a bear with a broken arm and minimal skill in «Throwing»? Yes. Was it impressive when she walked into the village, dragging a 400 kilo bear corpse with her? Also yes. It took way more time to actually craft an overly complicated pulley system into a travois dragged by her donkey.

Ever since that day, tales had spread of a blue haired huntress, who had taken on a bear despite a broken arm. The village elder dubbed her Slayer, and the name stuck. She, for reasons obvious, neglected telling anyone that it was her own fault she had broken her arm. Maybe she should be heading PR over Argo.

Speak of the Rat, and there she was. "Yo."

Sinon stayed quiet as she let fly the throwing knife. It spun perfectly in the air before striking the wooden target with a hearty thunk, tip first. "Sneaking up on people like that is rude, y'know."

"Psha, Sinonon. You heard me coming a mile away."

"I smelled you." Sinon thumbed her nose before plucking another throwing knife. "Did you get into a fist fight in an alchemy shop or something?"

"No! Well, I did, but that was before I met you guys. Man, you ever land on a crate of poison ivy, my butt was so itchy for an entire week. I mean, who stocks that?"

"Cease the detailed explanation of your itchy ass."

The two women were currently standing in Sinon's yard: a little spot near the girls' rooms, which were at one time a training yard for the officers of the Eternal Watch back in its heyday. It wasn't particularly large nor as well equipped, but it was sufficient to add a couple of archery butts. Sinon claimed it a long time ago, much to the protest of everyone else.

"Ain't cha watching the tournament?" asked the Rat, as she sat in Sinon's seat.

"No, not interested." The melee was well underway, and Kirito had taken his spot by the judges once again. "I'm resting."

"Training in the sun is resting? You know you're actually decreasing your «Heal Rate», you don't need to be a doctor to know that."

"I'll manage. Figured out what happened in the dungeon?"

Argo explained what she found briskly. "Hmm, interesting. I didn't hear any shattering glass though."

"You don't need glass flasks to use the potion, it's just as possible the instigator used a pouch."

"What chemicals would one use that would give such an effect?"

"I dunno, I'd thought you'd know."

"Why me?"

"You're a nature nerd, of course you'd know." She handed Sinon the slip of paper Vladimir provided. "Seem familiar?"

Sinon read the slip carefully, she remembered seeing a cave that the locals warned against entering. At the time, she didn't care because she was busy running errands. "Yeah, I've scouted the area around the fort well enough. There's a cave nearby, a bit of a ride away."

Argo grinned, whiskers expanding. "Maybe we can figure out if anyone's been gathering them, and we can catch them in the act. I'm not a good enough girl scout to navigate it."

"Didn't you just scold me about not resting?"

Argo wrapped one of her beefy arms around the Slayer's shoulders. "Come on, Sinonon. Let's go, twenty minute adventure. Whadayasay?"

Sinon sighed. "Fine. But you're buying me a burger later."

"I heard about Agil-san's cafe. Is it really that good?"

"I heard Kirito said it was better than sex."

At that, the Rat's jovial face went grim, as a switch had been flipped. She let go of her and stomped away. "Meet me at the stables in ten."

Sinon smirked. "Really, Argo? You jealous over a burger? Or is it something else?"

"Shuttup!" she snapped, not unlike a kid. Sinon laughed.

"Hey, I think we oughta go that way."

"Argo, what the hell are you talking about? We just came from that way."

"Yeah, I was just messing with ya'. Come on, let's take a left here."

"... that's your right."

"Haha, I'm a kidder, Sinonon. Now, come on, we're just getting started."

"No, we're almost there." Shoes scraped the earthen floor as Sinon stopped in place. "Argo, is there a problem?"

At that question, Argo stopped walking which led to Sinon bumping into her back. Even in the dark, with only her lantern as light source, the shivering was noticeable.

"... Argo? "

She mumbled something so quietly, even Sinon's enhanced hearing couldn't hear it. "What? What did you say?"

"I'm bad."

"Bad?"

"I'm really bad."

Sinon really was regretting coming here with a broken arm. "Are you hurt?"

Argo spun around, eyes glistening."I'm bad with directions okay?!"

The last wordechoed throughout the cavern, becoming ever so quiet. Okay. Okay. Okay. Ok-

The Rat sat on a nearby rock, dejected. Well, Sinon probably could use a break. Increase her «Healing Rate» and all that; so she sat on a similar rock.

The hallway they were in was a long corridor, partly collapsed, the roots of great trees hanging above them. The natural cave made way for ancient stonework, the bricks the remnants of a long forgotten civilisation. There was even a sign above the junction, written in a language long dead.

If Sinon had a Col every time she explored a cave and found the bricks the remnants of a long forgotten civilisation, she'd had enough Col to buy that siege crossbow she wanted. It was surprising at first, but had gotten old quite fast. If anything, exploring a cave and not finding a built-in dungeon shocked her more than anything. Sinon planted her own lantern on the cave floor.

"Uh, you got something you want to get off your chest?" Sinon was never one for small talk, or really, any talk. It was probably why she didn't have many friends.

"I'm …" Argo gulped. "I'm really bad at directions."

Sinon raised an eyebrow at that. "You are? I … haven't really noticed. Well, even if you are, it's not that big of a deal."

"Back in high school, my class went on a field trip to a forest. I strayed from the path and got lost, but turns out, I was only ten meters away from where we started, I got lost in a ring of trees and bushes."

Try as she might, Sinon couldn't help but wince. "Hold on, you help run the Mankhlar Rebellion! That city is more of a maze than any deep forest, and I haven't even brought up the sewers."

"I'm a city girl, not a country bumpkin. Why do you think I hang around in settlements and military camps?" She gestured all about her. "Dungeons? Dungeons I can do. But this is a cave."

"But… the cave is a type of dungeon." Sinon sighed. "Well, it did explain the last time you got trapped back in the Bastille. Good thing you brought me along."

"Yep. Last time I went dungeon diving alone, I got lost and had to beg Kii-bou at school to come save me." She grinned at the memory. "I rewarded him well for it though."

"Tell me about your sexual encounter in detail. Leave nothing out."

"You know for someone so standoffish, you sure are horny."

The slayer shrugged. "I know what I like. Besides, this is coming from a girl malding over her ex being dommed by a pretty knight girl."

Sinon didn'ts see the punch coming. Argo stood and buried her fist in the wall behind her, cracking ancient brick and stone alike. "It's not fair! We made up, had a heart-to-heart, talked about fertiliser and everything!"

She retracted her fist and Sinon marveled how much abuse her small fist was able to take. There wasn't a single cut on it, whereas if Sinon did the same, she'd probably broken her hand. "You just gotta put the moves on him, girl."

The Rat turned around. "What are you, a boy expert?"

"Well, I probably have the most experience amongst all of us."

"Oh, and you've got a boyfriend before?"

At that, she looked away. "Well, no but …"

"Having the odd one night stands doesn't count." Argo placed both hands over her heart and spun in place, in a display of femininity that Sinon never thought to see in her. "What we have is love."

Sinon rolled her eyes. "Girl, you broke up with him."

"I did not. I merely stopped speaking to him and avoided him for months." Argo sighed and sat back down. "Maybe I should have said yes to his proposal."

"If I were in your shoes, I'd have done the same thing."

"Really? And how would you have reacted to someone offering to marry you?"

"Well for one I wouldn't stop talking to him for months. If he brought it up, I would simply have sex with him on the spot until he stopped talking. Do this enough times and he'll stop bringing it up." Men are so easy to convince. Flash some tit and ass and you'll have them eating out of your hand.

Despite everything, Argo smiled. "Thanks for the pep talk, Sinon."

"Don't worry about it. I'm still gonna peg him though."

"Yes, yes, we all know."

She stood back up and picked her lantern. "Now come on, it shouldn't be far."

It was said that the World Before was the corpse of a dead god, and the tunnels, caverns, and caves were its veins. When Lord Aincradius willed his Castle into existence through the ritual of Deusphanes, he plucked the torso of the god and made it his own. The heretics of the Aincradian Schism spoke otherwise, that the Castle had been there all along, and Aincradius committed great acts of violence upon its inhabitants. For the orthodox, he was called Aincradius Ascendant, Bellum Deus, the Make Way God; but his detractors and the heretics called him -

"I think we're almost there," said Sinon. "There, I see a patch! Wait, there's a mean looking spider blocking the way."

The spider was easily the size of a dog, its eight eyes glaring at the intruders. Sinon recognised this spider as a standard «Rock Spider», and while it wasn't venomous, its fangs were still the size of her finger. "Careful, that thing will leave a gaping hole in your body. Let me -"

Before the Slayer could pluck a throwing knife from her belt, Argo merely walked up to it and delivered a devastating karate chop on its head, squishing the body and ruining its web.

"Or, you could do that, I guess." They carefully stepped through the hole, making sure not to have the web stuck to their persons.

Both women squatted by the patch of mushrooms. To Argo's untrained eyes, they looked like nothing special: just a fair amount of bulbs, like shiitake mushrooms. Then again, shiitake mushrooms are the only shrooms Argo recognised. "This must be the shrooms that the apothecary spoke about," said Sinon.

Argo checked her note. "Yep, that looks like it. Oh, under the light, they glow a bit. And they're purple!"

Sinon plucked the shroom at the base. Purple shrooms existed, such as violet corts, but the heads tapered tall and there seemed to be spots of red all over. It was definitely fictional. She summoned the shroom's stats and saw that most of the listed effects were a series of question marks. "Hey Argo."

"Yeah?"

"I saw Kirito rawdogging Asuna an hour ago, right in the ass."

"YOU SAW WHA - HURK!" Tears swelled in her eyes as Sinon shoved the cap in her mouth. She chewed the offending thing before spitting out.

Sinon summoned the shroom's UI window and read the stats again. "Ah, so it does +35% more Melee damage. Interesting."

"Wha - what the hell was that about, Sinon?!" she yelled/spit.

"I need you to find out what it does, the easiest way to do it is for you to chew. Good thing you didn't swallow, it would have depleted your HP a fair bit, by percentage instead of flat numbers too."

"You could have told me that yourself, ugh!" Argo gargled water and spat it to the side. "Right, so, what now?"

"We bring this to your alchemist friend and see if he can recreate this so-called potion. Might give us an idea on what to do next, or maybe, even counter it."

They plucked a fair amount of the strange shrooms in their bags before making their way back "So uh, anyway … did you really see Kii-bou and Aa-chan … you know …"

At that, Sinon smiled and walked faster. A look of sheer horror graced the Rat's whiskered face. "Hey! Hey! Don't you dare do this to me! Sinonon! Sinononon!"

Halfway through the tunnel, the earth shook, earth and pebbles falling from above. Both women looked at each other and started running.

Their hearts fell at the lack of sunlight for the entrance was no more, replaced by a mount of earth and rocks. Dust had yet to settle, for it was clear it was done deliberately.

"Bastards!" Argo scowled. "We're trapped!"

Sinon kept quiet, analysing the situation: there were only two of them, with only a few weapons, and no one knew there were out here. They had no digging equipment on them, nor did they find any laying about in the tunnel. "This must be the work of the cult."

Argo pried a particularly large rock out of the way, only for even more dirt to take its place. She coughed and waved dust out of her face. "No! This is gonna take forever!"

"There must be another way out. There are people out there wishing us harm, we have to go back."

"How? There's only two of us and we don't have any digging equipment!"

"Stay calm, we've passed a fair few tunnels on the way here. Chances are there's another cave mouth out."

Calming down, Argo sighed. "Fine, but we better be quick. We have to report this back to the rest."

"Agreed."

Then, from the depths they heard a great rumble. The rumble became louder and louder. Sweat was dripping from Sinon's forehead, and for once in a long while, her hand trembled. Even without a broken arm, fighting in such a cramped environment wasn't her strong suit. She counted her knives, six in total. It'll have to do.

"Be ready, Argo," said Sinon as she took a fighting stance. "Something's coming."

The rumble intensified next to the Slayer, and she turned, only to see a very sheepish Argo, patting her stomach.

"I uh, haven't had lunch." She dug into her bag and produced a strip of meat. "Pemmican?"

"Guld, there you are! Where the hell have you been?"

The swordsman turned to Kirito, almost surprised to see him. "Uh, you know. Stuff!"

"Stuff?" he asked, irate. "We thought you went AWOL, or worse!"

"A friend of mine passed away recently, I found out from my old guild. I spent the day consoling my old comrades."

At that, all anger flowed out of Kirito. He sighed. "Well … I'm sorry to hear that. You know what happened in the dungeon, right?"

Guld raised a hand. "Yes, I know. Terrible stuff! And don't worry, Asuna-san already assigned me another post after a serious tongue lashing. Sorry, boss, it won't happen again."

Kirito exhaled through his nose. "Fine, just give us a heads up next time."

Guld shot him a grin. "Don't worry, boss! I'll be sure to do just that." He saluted and made his way on the post.

Night had fallen, and as a habit, Kirito found himself walking the walls of the fort. The outside was lively, dozens of campfires burning. The wind was cold and he found his silks far too thin for the task of keeping him warm. He was no shut-in, but he was no extrovert either.

He greeted Hansel and Gretel on the walls, as well as Sergeant Hamid in his office. The former sellsword was a good NCO, and Kirito gifted the veteran with a pouch of gold and congratulated him on being recently engaged. Finally reaching the end of his lap, he adjusted his robes and entered the great hall once again.

The sounds of laughter and music struck him, as well as the taste of roast bison and corn beer. In the middle of the floor, Ser Reginald danced with his wife Alona, moving with the familiarity that only a years long relationship could achieve. Yeoman Dupont too was dancing, his eight year old daughter standing on her father's feet. Her brothers and mother were cheering them on. Sa'id the bard was ripping on that lute of his on stage, and the fort's inhabitants cheered as they did the last time he played.

The curious trio of warrior nuns stood by the side with a crowd of other women. The old woman, Abbess Natalya was having a grand old time as a shirtless, sweating, Rumine warrior danced in front of a group of women, dancing with his lasso like cowboy god. Her juniors, the Bobcut Sisters, looked like they were liable to explode with how red their faces were.

The few missing familiar faces were Rays and the mages. Something about magic stuff, completely over his head.

As he made way to his table, dubbed as the seat of honor, Asuna acknowledged him with a nod, standing in one corner, with Master-at-Arms Robert at the other. With how professional she was acting, you couldn't have told how many vigorous make out sessions they had done throughout the day. Six if you were wondering, but Kirito wasn't one to kiss and brag.

Kirito took his seat at the table,where Commander Emeri and Steward Tupi chatted with the winner of the big melee.

"So here I was, staring down this giant of a beast, two meters tall! He swung his great «Tree Hammer» at my head. But he swung too high, and the benefit of being short is it was easy to dodge. I ducked under the swing, got behind him, and slammed both my tekpis into the back of his knees. He fell, kneeling, and I had my arms around him. And that's how I won."

Commander Emeri raised his glass of wine to the winner. 'Good show, Ser Kid Lat. Mayhaps, if you're done wandering the realm, you could join my Militia. We could always use a man who knows his way around a baton."

Kid Lat gulped down his own goblet, a gorgeous golden thing, studded with precious stones before answering. "Thanks but no thanks, old man. I belong on the battlefield; this tournament's a nice distraction though."

"A shame then," said the commander as he finished his wine. "An overall fantastic performance on the field. Wouldn't you say so, Lord Kirito?"

"Huh? Oh yes, indeed. Good job, kid." Kid was a misnomer; Kirito was pretty sure the champion was older than he was.

Kirito stared off into nothing, vaguely enjoying the music. Asuna did advise him to enjoy himself, but it was difficult when he discovered Sinon and Argo had been missing since midday at least. Company policy dictates that they should have at least let someone know. At least they were together. Kirito really shouldn't be surprised to learn that Sinon was already going about adventuring with a broken arm.

His thoughts were disrupted when he felt the steward's elbow in his side. "Lord, someone's speaking to you," said Tupi.

Kirito coughed. "Right, right. Welcome, uhhh …"

The stranger before him was tall, perhaps even taller than Brother Rays by an inch. Yet unlike the robust paladin, the stranger was lithe yet possessing a sort of wiry strength so common in archers. Not that she carried a bow, but any elf worth their salt was one. She wore a lovely purple dress with a pattern of yellow branches and leaves. Her hair was short, a deep indigo, and her skin was the color of earth. Most notable were her horns, shaped like deer antlers.

The elf bowed deeply and placed her hand on her chest; she had three large, long fingers instead of five. "Greetings Kirito, Lord of Eternal Vigilance and the Kirito Corporation. I am Kizmel. Your hall is most beautiful and your party is most lively."

Tupi whispered to him. "She won the archery contest yesterday."

Figures. "Welcome, Kizmel of … wherever you're from. Congratulations on your win. I hope you are enjoying your time here."

The elf smiled, an unnaturalness to her face. SAO elves had always creeped Kirito out. There was an uncanniness to them, which he supposed, was what elven beauty was all about.

"Lord, if I may be so bold to tell you something?"

Kirito turned to Tupi, who shrugged. He shot a quick look to Asuna, sent him the look that meant 'There Could Be Trouble', a language they had perfected over their time together in SAO. She nodded and moved closer to the table.

He turned back to the elf and nodded. She walked up to the dais, and Kirito only realised how tall she was, easily six feet plus. She leaned over the table and whispered in his ear.

"You have a traitor amongst you."

Nerio, jobless smith, currently known as Corporal Git Guld of the Eternal Watch, stalked the halls of the fort. He was on edge. The halls, which were once a point of familiarity and comfort to him, had become foreign and hostile. Passing faces, many of whom he'd recognised, only made him more nervous.

The encounter with Kirito sparked many feelings in him: anxiety and anger, sadness and shame, humiliation and horror. He was tempted to confess and stab his former boss at the same time. After all, what better way to commit vengeance against the asshole who slew him and his guild back in the beta?

The face he wore was uneasily good. It didn't feel like a mask at all, but as if PoH had performed world class face surgery on him. When asked how long it would last, his new friend answered, "Long enough."

He turned the corner only to bump into the one person he didn't want to. "Lisbeth-san!"

"Oh? Oh! Guld, where the hell have you been?"

"I - uh …" He shut his mouth. Lisbeth looked quite different out of her work clothes and apron. Currently she wore the buckskin dress of the Free Tribes, coloured porcupine quills and a pattern of hammers on her shoulders. She had a small keg under an armpit.

"Well?" she asked.

"I found out some of my friends had died."

Her face fell. Lying to her like this felt like a stab to his stomach. "Oh. Damn. Sorry about that, buddy."

"It's alright. I'm processing it."

"Hmm. Anyway, I need to hand this into the hall, staff is already busy as all hell. Thought I'd lend them a hand."

"Cool. I need to go to the library."

"Ah, get away from the noise. I get it." She beamed, patting the keg. "Don't worry, there's plenty for the rest of you guards. Talk to ya' later."

"You too."

As she left, Nezha made a turn, not to the library, but to the bedrooms where the rest of the staff slept in. It was ironic: he was committing the crime that he himself was falsely accused of.

He had one goal in mind as he went to Lisbeth's room: «Wicasa's Legacy».

Will Agent complete this arc this year? Who knows? Read to find out.

Oh, by the way, if this fic hits 200 reviews, I'll post the Golden Foursome at the end of the arc. I can't promise it'll be good, but I promise it'll be there. You think this fic is horny before?! You ain't seen nothing yet.

Till next time.