Date posted: 31st March 2023

An author is never late, nor is he early. He posts precisely when he means to.

Chapter 18: Conflicts of Interest

"Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill."

- The Fellowship of the Ring

"I am Kizmel, Knight of the Royal Guard, Swallow of Oakhome. Hark, merchant prince Kirito, lord of Eternal Vigilance - evil is afoot."

Asuna had not met many elves. Asuna had not met any elf, for that matter. Their presence, along with dwarves were however felt throughout all her time in Aincrad.

The elven kingdoms of the Green were but small city-states in the age of the sorcerer kings, content to hide in their forests when the legions of orcs and undead came to conquer. They viewed the burgeoning Aincradius and the Alliance of Light with not undeserved suspicion. Many an ancient warlord had allied, used and betrayed them for their own selfish reasons.

When Aincradius and his warband asked for aid, the elves viewed the human with suspicion. But Lord Aincradius was not only a mighty general but an adept diplomat, whose powerful speeches and undefeated rhetoric were able to sway the elf lords to join the Alliance of Light. With their light footed skirmishers, deadeye archers, and mighty cervus cavalry, they lured the orc legions of the sorcerer kings into their deep forests and slaughtered them like the barbarians of Gaul did to the legions of Rome. For this, they called Aincradius and his comrades as Eternal Friend of Elves.

Or at least that's what the books in the fort's library had said.

The one known as Kizmel was tall. Very tall. Easily a couple inches taller than Brother Rays, who himself stood at six feet. Whereas Rays was broad, Kizmel was lithe, with an eerie gracefulness that bordered, if not was deep, within the Uncanny Valley. Yet her light purple hair, lilac eyes and bronze skin gave her a beauty not seen even in the prettiest of girls. Some of the Watchmen were staring.

It was the horns. Or was it antlers? Sinon had told her there was a difference but Asuna had forgotten. And Kizmel had three fingers on each hand, more alien than elven. She was clad in a modest purple floral patterned dress, complimenting her toned figure.

"Pardon me for asking, Miss Kizmel," said Professor Ramza, "but we need a little more info than 'evil is afoot'."

"Apologies. I bring dire news from Oakhome. My liege has sent me here to warn you of the Cult of the Great Worm That Inherits the World."

Brother Rays smiled politely. "Alas, Miss Kizmel, we already know of this. We have been hunting their ilk for the past week. It seems they have gone underground."

"That is because they have. Literally." She walked to the side of Kirito's office where a beautifully detailed map of Fort Eternal Vigilance and its surrounding desmene hung. "How familiar are you with the Imperetors Nekros?"

"Who isn't?" asked Tupi. "Every wiseman and wisewoman knows of it, even though they are far off long dead conquerors."

Kirito raised a hand. "Um, I don't. Not like I have time to go lorediving. Steward, if you please."

"Ah, thank you. I've been working on oral skills. Ahem.

"Once, there were two wizards by the names of Sodosma and Mmatmuor, who hailed from the dark isle of Naat. Exiled from their homeland, they traveled to the ruins of a desert city, the once great capital of a mighty empire, ancient even in the age of the sorcerer kings. With their blasphemous arts, they resurrected the corpses of the royal family and the entire city. They waged war against the other sorcerer-kings, the likes of the Mistress of Darkness, the Storm That Rages, the Fanged King, and many others. They were not very invited to many paties.

"The Annals of the Eternal Watch is light on the details, but what we know was they were not defeated by the Alliance of Light, but something else. Some say they were slain by their own thralls; others say they slew each other in fits of jealousy and paranoia. Regardless, their end was a footnote in the age of the sorcerer-kings.

"But before their fall, each of the Imperators wrote a tome of dark magic: the Books of Sodosma and Mmatmuor. These tomes had changed many hands, since copying the black tongue of dark magicks burns the eyes and harms the soul."

Asuna blinked. "The books we've been guarding. Well, the book. That's -"

"It is the Book of Sodosma. Trying to understand its text has left me tired and weary," said Brother Rays.

It was only then Asuna, and the rest of the office, noticed Rays' condition: he had bags under his eyes, his usual browns were red and he hunched ever so slightly. Even his usual physique did not fit into his robes, as if he lost weight. She mentally kicked herself for not noticing it sooner.

"Ah, that's why you haven't been with us in our skirmishes," said Master-at-Arms Robert. "Not that there's many skirmishes to be held. Chasing ghosts more than not. And the metaphorical ones, not the literal ones."

"And the Book of Mmatmuor is gone, stolen by an ex-employee or so says the wind," said the elf.

Kirito blinked. "How did you -"

"Even in this castle of stone, the roots and vines speak to me. This is the magic of the elves, unknown to the children of Man."

The Wall sheepishly raised his hand. "UM, THE WALL MAY HAVE SPOKEN SOMETHING TO THE PRETTY ELF LADY, WHEN HE WAS A BIT TIPSY."

"The magic is wine," Kizmel admitted.

"An effective technique, yes," concurred Asuna, making a mental note of being more strict with the Watch's alcohol rations.

Lisbeth made a worried face. "Are you saying Nezha-kun … actually stole the other book? We only found the one in his footchest …"

"That's because there was another thief in your fort."

The room came to a dead silence. "I would like to ask Lord Kirito to only keep his most trusted staff on hand. This is state secret and the kingdom of Oakhome would rather keep such information to certain ears."

Kirito dismissed most of the lower ranked officers, leaving only Asuna, Robert, the wizards, Brother Rays, and Tupi. The lack of Sinon and Argo was noticeable.

"Many months ago, thieves had infiltrated the royal palace on the 25th surface. They struck our vault and stole the Books of Sodosma and Mmatmour, tomes that Oakhome was entrusted upon us in the ancient Accords of Aincradius. There have been multiple cases of such break-ins around the castle, including one at the university of Medina An-Nur."

The mages looked surprised. "There was?" asked Apprentice Ava.

"There was indeed, my apprentice. Of course, the thieves failed. The guards killed one of them and chased away the others. We kept it hush-hush, for reasons obvious," said the professor, giving the elf the side-eye.

Kizmel ignored it. "Do you know what they were trying to steal?"

"No. They didn't even get into our vaults. The thief drunk a poison and slew himself before they could be captured. There are artefacts more powerful than mere books, weapons of such power that could destroy nations."

"Yet here we are, no guards to keep watch over our friend beneath," said Tupi, smiling sadly.

"I seal the dungeon with your permission, warchief," said Hwiatha.

"Do it. What else can you tell us of these thieves?" asked Asuna.

"Not much else, I am afraid. The necromancer cults had not fully died out, often financed by petty bandit lords trying to gain an edge over the law, khans trying to their raise hordes, or orc warlods trying to replenish their numbers. But such magic is strictly forbidden."

"Yet you keep these dangerous artefacts to yourselves," said Asuna.

"Sometimes, to make a cure, we keep a sample of the disease," argued Ramza.

"Oh, like how the United States and Russia have the last samples of smallpox in some lab," said Lisbeth.

"They have smallpox?!" asked Kirito.

"Hey, you never know when it can be weaponised! In that sense, I guess zombies are a type of bio-weapon if you think about it."

Brother Rays spoke up, "In our defense, ser knight, we did not know this was the Book of Sodosma. After all, it would be strange to find this ancient tome in the hands of some cave-wizards. I had assumed it was a copy. I have but read only a fourth of the book, and even then, it tires me, and whatever lessons I have gleamed from these blasphemous texts can barely be applied into fighting the undead."

"Worry not, brother-ghazi. I am well aware of your order's insistence of studying the enemy's magic," said Kizmel. "My people are too easily corrupted to even attempt such things."

"Alright, alright. So what you're saying is, someone that is not Nezha, snuck into my fort, stole a dangerous magic book, just the one mind you, and then just left?" asked Kirito.

"If I may be so bold to suggest a theory, perhaps the thief was trying to steal both books, but failed to do so and hid it in this blacksmith's footlocker," said Kizmel.

Lisbeth thrusted a finger at Kirito. "Hah! Told you Nezha-kun was innocent!"

Kirito frowned, absorbing the information that was given. "Well, this is all well and good, Ser Kizmel. But aside from all this information you've given us, is there another reason why you're here?"

"Yes. I believe the Cult of the Great Worm is planning an attack on your fort."

That got everyone's attention. "When?" asked Kirito.

"I don't know exactly when but soon. Perhaps during the last day of the tournament. The largest amount of people, the largest amount of corpses for them to use. The deaths of so many would be vital to break the enchantments that keep the danger beneath imprisoned."

Asuna winced ever so slightly seeing Kirito age ten years on the spot.

"Hey, wait a minute," said Asuna. "If you arrived at the fort earlier today, why didn't you tell us sooner!"

At that, the elf looked aside, blushing. "I … spent all my money and needed the money. So I joined the archery competition. Felt a bit guilty really, like plucking sweets from a babe."

Everyone stared at her. Her face grew redder. "It's not my fault your bison burgers are so delicious."

On the second night of the Tournament of Wicasa, the Eternal Watch was on full alert much to the happy ignorance of their guests.

Asuna was in her element. Months of serving as the Captain-Warchief of the Watch had honed her leadership and organisation skill as sharp as her rapier. She had locked down the dungeon of the Prisoner and doubled the guards. Hwiatha was appointed as scout leader, sending outriders far and wide, ready to alert the fort of an incoming army of undead at the smell of a rotting corpse. Old Lady Ohkwáho and Yeoman Pierre Dupon were also informed, as well. The fort's staff did inventory and locked the larder while Reginald's fellow homesteaders posted a few guards. They would need all the help they could get.

The suggestion to cancel the last day of the tournament was out of the question. The sheer amount of bad will and negative reception would have killed the fort's profits just as well as any army of zombies. Lisbeth felt out of her element, not being able to do anything.

"Come on Kirito, let me do something!"

"And what can you do, Lisbeth-chan? You're a smith first, a warrior second. Oh, and of course, Chief Fire Hawk. Your horses are most fine! Absolutely gorgeous beasts! You must consider selling some to us."

Kirito had returned to the hall and was all smiles and chats. Lisbeth was surprised at how quickly the merchant turned from nervous commander to charming businessman. He was currently in the process of chatting up a Rumine chief. He had been chatting with others too, many NPC important people that Lisbeth didn't recognise or really cared to.

"I can still fight!" she said, patting her dwarven hammer that wasn't there. She was still in her dress while Asuna and crew were running about getting ready. "Come on, assign me to a squad or something?"

"Shouldn't you ask Asuna? That's what she's here for. Ah, you look lovely as always, Miss Harko. Are those new porcupine quills?"

"Asuna won't let me go on patrol or whatever. I can't believe she doesn't trust me!"

Kirito sighed deeply through his nose before grabbing onto her arm and leading her outside into the courtyard. "Lisbeth, when was the last time you went fighting?"

"Huh? Uh, I was on the raid on the mines. You know, with the dwarf skellies."

"Okay. And when was that?"

"That was -" A few months ago. "Not that long ago! Besides, I've been training!"

Kirito cocked his head. "Ah, really? Throw a punch."

"What."

"Throw a punch." He rubbed his chin with his knuckles. "Right here."

Lisbeth looked around. There weren't many folks in the courtyard, and though there were some guards on the wall and people quietly drinking or dicing, it was basically deserted. "C'mon Kirito, you know I can fight! Better than you anyway. I'm like 10 levels higher than you. Higher STR too."

"And you would have no problem landing a haymaker on my jaw."

"And I'm not gonna punch you just because you ask!" She shook her head. "I'm gonna go ask Hwiatha and ask him to let me join."

"Let me guess, using that mediocre mace you built last month? I wouldn't smelt that for scrap."

"Why you -" Lisbeth turned around to hit the smug bastard in the face only to find herself staring into the night sky.

"Bwah?!"

Kirito stood next to her, hands behind his back. "I'm sorry to agro you like that. Your new mace is actually well made."

She stood up and brushed the dirt off her dress. "So you're apologising for making fun of my work, but not for aikido flipping me on my butt."

"Please, Lisbeth. That was clearly judo."

Lisbeth let out a sigh. "I ain't joining am I?"

Kirito smiled. "I know you want to help, but the thing is, you're useful in other places. Not everyone's up to being a fighter. Besides, I need the best smith in the world mounting defenses when the cult attacks."

"Do … do you really think we're going to attack? There's like thousands of people here, they'd be mad to do it!"

Kirito made a stern face and in the light of the moon, looked almost like a different man. Older, more worn. "I don't know how to tell you, Lisbeth, but anyone who joins the Cult of the Great Worm That Inherits the World isn't exactly the people who are sound in mind."

"Point taken, but still -"

He raised a hand. "And you forget most people here are civilians. Probably never held a spear in their life. The contestants are more athletes than soldiers. Maybe a few of them will stay, but the moment they see a legion of skellies marching in lockstep they're gone."

"Yet here you are, insisting on not canceling the tournament."

He looked around. "Well, if you have a spare few hundred thousand Col on you …"

"Okay, okay! You win! God, you are so smug and insufferable!"

He shot her a winning merchant smile. "Best go to sleep, master smith. It is late after all."

Admitting defeat, Lisbeth stomped off to a room, reminding herself too much of a moody teenager. Still, if the Watch has it all under control, then she supposed everything was safe.

Lisbeth reached her room and went to reach her key, only to realise the door was unlocked. Her heart froze. She was 200% sure she had locked it. She had been doing it for weeks. She made the damn locks in the first place.

Ripping the door open, she entered the room and turned to the wall where «Wicasa's Legacy» hung, now gone.

Well, now Lisbeth definitely wasn't going on patrol.

There are many things that are primal enjoyments to human beings that cross the boundary of space and time. It did not matter if the person was a modern human in the 21st century or a peasant from the 1st, every child who has picked up a stick has pretended it to be a sword.

Sinon in her youth had a fantasy, but it was a pretty grounded fantasy: she imagined wearing a cloak and standing at the mouth of the cave, holding a torch aloft in one hand, a sword in another. She imagined the outside of the cave was littered by the skeletons of man and cattle, the food of the dragon that rests within. Maybe two great glowing eyes staring at her as she prepared to do battle.

What fantasy fiction didn't tell you was holding up a torch, even high above your head, is a fantastic way to get blinded by your own light. "Hey, careful. Almost burned this luxurious blonde hair of mine."

"Sorry, Argo. Wished we had lanterns."

"We did! It's … on our horses."

"Yeah ..."

They had been walking for close to a few hours now. Had Sinon not had the time displayed in her HUD, she wouldn't have known it was almost morning. They had arrived sometime past noon, and aside from a quick nap in the evening, they still had not stopped searching for a way out.

They had brought a few torches with them. A single torch had an hour's use if soaked in pine, moreso in kerosene. Sinon had thought, not unrightfully, it wouldn't take long. But the bastard who trapped them in probably hoped the things lurking in the dark would kill them. Had they not found some ancient torches and an almost empty cask of oil to light them they would have been groping the walls blindly. Not even Sinon's high Perception would have let them navigate these tunnels.

Sinon regretted not grabbing a bite on the way here. A few more spiders, dispatched by the Rat, but without the right tools eating them would harm them more than sate their hunger. She had brought food, but they were stashed on the horses too. The slayer hoped the horses returned to the fort, but most likely the one who trapped them had stolen them.

Grrrrr.

A deep growl came from nearby and Sinon took a fighting stance. She had a handful of throwing knives on her, and though she had some investment in «Marksmanship: Throwing», it was her least developed combat skill. She kicked herself for not bring a bundle of tomahawks. Or Javelins. Or her bow. Or food. Or more torches. Or …

Grrrrrrr!

The growl came again and the slayer half expected a pair of glowing eyes to appear in the dark. "Argo, stay alert!"

"Uhhh …"

"What is it? Are you hurt?"

She felt the smaller woman clutched at her. "Sinonon … I'm hungwy … can I please eat you?" Grrrr …

Sinon sighed. "I guess we can take a rest."

They settled by a small stream, the clear water coming from a crevice in the cave wall. Argo and Sinon emptied a health potion each and used the glass to drink from it. The slayer felt a bit proud of herself when she made a small fire one handed with nothing but the remains of their torches and some moss that clung to the walls, wrung dry as possible by the info broker.

But Argo's stomach grumbled still. "You got any eggs?"

"No, why on earth would you think I have eggs on me."

"I know you ranger types. You eat lizards, bugs and all that ewwy stuff."

Sinon waved a hand around. "I'm sure you can find dragon eggs somewhere in these tunnels."

Green eyes widened. "There are dragons in the tunnels?!"

"No, Argo. I'm joking. But a dragon egg seems like a hell of a breakfast."

The Rat folded her beefy arms and closed her eyes, deep in thought. "A single chicken egg contains 155 calories. An ostrich egg contains 2000 calories. Assuming a dragon egg is twice as large as an ostrich egg and assuming it has the same nutritional values, that brings it up to 4000, I only need to eat roughly two and a quarter dragon eggs to hit my 9000 calories quota."

Sinon did some quick mental math. "Wait, does this mean you eat … sixty eggs?"

"I try to."

"I don't believe you. You'd need sixty chickens laying eggs daily to keep up."

"My old man has five dozen eggs a day and he's big as a barge, I'll have you know. Ow! Hey, don't throw pebbles at me!"

Sinon gave the Rat a stare of death, though it didn't last long as her frown turned into a smirk and the two girls erupted in laughter. Despite the situation, she knew deep down they would make it.

Sinon laid against the cave wall. "I could go for some burgers. I think that's Agil-san's place."

"Agil-san's here? Man, I really am missing out on them. He runs a cafe in Tokyo, you know."

"Oh, you and Kirito know him?"

"Oh yeah. Actually spent a birthday or two there. Makes the juiciest steaks, let me tell you."

Sinon felt her own tummy growl. "Actually, no, don't tell me."

Argo also laid on the cave floor, and to Sinon's complete surprise, started doing crunches. Actually, now thinking about it, with those steely abs of hers, no, Sinon wasn't surprised at all. "Are you really exercising when you're already starving?"

"Abs are made in the kitchen, Sinonon. You know, Kii-bou met Agil because his boss once bought everyone dinner there. He invited me there and we've more or less been regulars ever since."

The slayer raised an eyebrow at that. "Wasn't he in highschool at the time? Ah, right. Part time job."

"The company he worked for paid a lot. Like a lot lot. He was finally dressing in nice clothes, feeding himself and his sister well, and was clearing up debt. He made it big, for someone his age, really. Even finally got back into kendo, for a time."

Sinon put her chin in her hand and leaned forward. This would explain so much about the merchant's eccentricities. "You'd think some kendo skills would translate into him being a fighter."

"Oh no, Kii-bou's a good fighter."

The image of a naked Kirito running through camp when a beaver was trying to mug him flashed in her mind. "Heh, good joke."

"He is!"

"Argo, I've seen the man cower behind Asuna's skirt when a rabbit came into camp."

The Rat did not cease. "Kirito was the kendo captain at school. He was on the way to nationals when he quit. He was on the track team too. Do you know how many presents the guy gets on Valentine's Day?"

Sinon considered the new information. He was charming and handsome, and had a way with words. But strong? Competent? "I find this unlikely."

Argo, now moving on one-handed push ups, grinned. "Imagine Kii-bou shirtless."

"Done." Sinon usually imagined the merchant in a lot less clothes so that was easy.

"Give him some muscle definition."

"Like you?"

"Hmmm, about fifty percent."

Done. "The twink has become a twunk."

"Now let him have shorter hair."

"Heresy." How could a woman dominate a man if not by controlling his hair, as everyone knew, was the source of their strength.

"Just imagine it okay!"

Sinon gave her imaginary Kirito a short stylish cut like those boy bands the other girls at school liked so much. "Hmm, not bad."

The Rat leaned over, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Now imagine him strong."

"Strong as you?"

"Sinonon, please. As ripped and awesome as I am, this hard bod of mine is still a bunch of ones and zeros. Imagine Kii-bou … more realistically strong. And toned."

Imagining it in her head, the soft, well dressed merchant transformed into something similar to the athletes at her school. Sinon also imagined Kirito in those super tight yoga pants too. "Mmm … I think I like this Kirito too."

"Imagine him picking you up?"

"Yeah?"

"Folding you in half."

Gulp. "Go on."

"Tearing your pants off."

Her chest thumped. "Yes."

White teeth sparkled in the dark. "And doing it to you while standing."

Her words were so sincere, Sinon couldn't help but believe she was telling the truth. "Holy shit."

"Oh yeah." The Rat had a wistful look in her eyes now. "You have no idea, Sinonon. Kii-bou's a stud."

Sinon let out a low whistle. It was hard to imagine, seeing as how Kirito melted like butter under her. Yet here was Argo telling him he was the opposite, that he was some sort of harem protagonist. Then again, he had three girls wanting to do him so that wasn't really hard to imagine. "And you're the idiot that broke up with him."

And like the flip of a coin she made a face. "You're a meanie, Sinon-san."

"Oh no, you're now referring to me with -san. How terrible. I think we've rested enough." Sinon rose, propping herself up with her non-broken arm. "C'mon, let's go. Maybe we can find a burger joint at the end of this tunnel."

At the mention of burgers, the Rat turned back to her old self. "Yeah yeah, I really rather not drink these weird potions Vladimir-san gave me."

Sinon kicked dirt on the fire. "Vladi-who?"

"Nevermind. I think we should head this way."

"By the way, you didn't mention this, but what company did Kirito work for again?"

"Oh that?" Though Argo herself was a capable speaker at times, Sinon could not help but notice just the slightest crack, the smallest hesitation in her voice as she tried to give an answer. "Oh, some big software company. Video game company! It's uh … Nintendo?"

Sinon blinked. "Nintendo."

"Yep."

"Really."

"Double yep!"

"The biggest company in Japan. A jock with no coding or video game design degree, went to work at one of the country's most prestigious companies." She snapped her fingers. "Like that."

"Of course," said the Rat, crossing her arms. "Kii-bou is very talented like that."

"I'd sooner believe he works for Argus." Sinon wasn't paid enough to wonder about her boss's mysterious past. "Whatever, let's go. Maybe we can find some dragon eggs on the way."

"As long as there aren't any dragons, I'm cool with that."

The swordswoman entered the tavern, where a burly bartender was cleaning a mug. She sat on the counter and slapped a coin on it. "Innkeep, give me your toughest drink."

Nodding, the bartender poured something from a pitcher and slid the mug to the swordswoman. She drank in gulps. "Ah, that hit the spot. Hey wait a minute, this is water! I need beer!"

"Kid, you're like, what? Fourteen? I ain't serving minors. Also, you only gave me one Col so …"

She thumbed the wooden star on her breast. "See this star, buddy? You know I can get you arrested for this."

The bartender laughed and shook his head. "Oh and what would be the charges?"

"Uh… It's um…" She adjusted the helmet on her head. "You're off this time, outlaw."

She stood up and was on her way out until Agil said, "I've got my bison burgers 20% off for staff working for the Kirito Corporation~"

She spun around in place. "Do you have fries?"

"Of course."

"I'll take your Frenchiest fries, barkeep."

Half an hour and a full belly later, Yuuki Konno, better known as Absolute Sword, walked out of the Melee Cafe's patio and remembered what she had to do. "Ah crap, I'm late!"

Speeding down the cobblestone road, she finally reached a large tent only to bump into someone. "Hey, watch it!"

Sheriff Hugo turned around, looked down at her as if he didn't feel her crashing face first into his armoured back. "Deputy, you're late."

"A deputy is never late, nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to."

"I'm going to smack you precisely in the head, how about that?" he sighed.

"Everyone's gone off now, running around the fort's desmane. I need someone to look in the fort, can you do that?"

She snapped the squire a salute. "Sir, I'll do my best, sir!"

"Very good. Off you go then." He went back to his wax tablet, jotting something down. "You're still here, what is it?"

"Ummm." She scratched the back of her head. "What am I looking for exactly again?"

Hugo shook his head. "I told Lord Kirito this was a bad idea."

Late last night, Hugo had come to the homes of both the Old Families and New Settlers alike, discreetly asking for some manpower. Yuuki was bunking nearby, and took the coin in a half asleep state and promised to come by the sheriff's office first thing in the morning. With Asuna doing important Watch business, it left Yuuki as at the moment, unemployed. But the moment she had enough money, she'd rubbed it in her rival's face.

Yuuki made her way into the fort's courtyard, and even from afar, she could see the small ocean of people at the training fields. It was the biggest event yet, bigger than even the joust from before, an ancient sport since times immemorial, older than even the age of the sorcerer kings:

Twenty men fought each other on the field wielding, divided into two ten men teams. Each man wielded a strange weapon, a polearm of somesort, but instead of a blade on the end, it was a net made of leather strips. On each end of the field was a man guarding a goal. The teams fought each other on who could catch a rubber ball and launch them into an opponent's goal. This sport had many names: bumping-hips, ball-play, or bag-away. But the Free Tribes most commonly called this game Little Brother of War.

And with how each player seemed to just beat the living crap out of each other and ignoring the ball, Yuuki could see why they settled on that name.

Even from this far, Yuuki could spot Kirito chatting up with the other judges. Asuna was mysteriously missing. In fact, she had noticed that her rival was completely missing since last night. To where she went, she didn't know, and the Watchmen weren't keen to answer her questions.

She found herself at the dungeon's entrance. "Hail, gatekeeper. Let me pass, I am on a holy quest!" she said.

Brickwall looked down on her and noticed the wooden badge on her chest and sighed. "BOY, WE REALLY ARE SCRAPING THE BARREL, HUH?"

"I am on a quest!" she repeated. "Grant me passage, or taste the blade of Absolute Sword!"

"AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'LL FIND THE SWORD IN THE DUNGEON? WE'VE ALREADY LOCKED IT UP!"

She tapped on her nose. "And we all know dungeons respawn loot, so that's why it's the best place to look into."

"THAT IS COMPLETELY UNTRUE. WE'VE KNOWN ABOUT THAT SINCE BEFORE THE GAME WAS RELEASED."

Yuuki stomped her feet. "Come on! Everyone else is searching the camps, the homesteader's houses, and patrols are sent everywhere! This is the one place no one is looking! Think, Wall, think!"

The Wall thought for a moment and sighed. "THE WALL IS PERSUADED BY YOUR ARGUMENT. TRY NOT TO DIE."

She slammed a fist into a palm. "Boss defeated!"

"AND BE SURE TO WEAR A COAT!"

A few moments later, Yuuki found herself in the dungeon once again. She had been working the place for a while now, and knew the place like the back of her hand. Well, almost.

In her brief time working and threatening visitors to wear a coat, she knew that the dungeon was a lot bigger than most expected. There was little in the way of mapping, as ink was prone to freezing. There were entire halls that stretched what seemed to be forever, the walls carved with tales long lost and ancient paintings being destroyed by the cold.

Yuuki rubbed her hands and started lighting the ancient sconces, recently replaced by herself. Even the act of heating up the oil took some time and she tried to hurry it up as quickly as she could. CEO Man expected the sword to be found before dusk before the gift giving ceremony.

She made her way back to the prison proper, the stalls of the fort's merchants and the wooden shack of an office were abandoned, giving the once lively hall an eerie atmosphere. Yuuki had heard tales of the big melee that happened here, and the image of a hundred or so angry people flinging themselves against a group of Watchmen was something right out of the Frontlines. Had she been there, she would have knocked sense into those idiots.

It was only then she realised that the office shack had a light in it. Odd, wasn't the place supposed to be locked down? Investigating the office, she found that there was a half finished bowl of porridge. She touched it, it was warm.

"The heck's going on?"

She heard a gasp behind her and turned, seeing a silhouette by the prison entrance. Running footfalls echoed in the hall.

"Who's there?" She wrenched her sword out. "Hey, come back!"

If there was one thing Absolute Sword invested in, it was AGI. With a speed that could only have been achieved with years of training, she found herself running through the dark hallways at an Olympic speed. A rush of excitement filled her as she chased down the evildoer, and really, who else but an evildoer could be skulking in the hallways of a closed dungeon wearing black?

But try as she might, the suspect knew the halls better and outran her. How? She spent the most time in the place, yet she could barely catch up. For every rounded corner, the suspect had rounded another. She found herself in halls she never knew existed, such was the maze beneath the fort.

After what felt like forever, she felt like she finally caught up to the bastard. This particular hall she knew, and there was nothing but a pile of rubble at the end. "Caught ya' now!"

She rounded the corner, only to find no one except a dead end. "Wait, this can't be it. I saw you coming through here!"

She shook her head. It was best to head back up and report to the she turned to leave, she noticed just the slightest shimmer in the air, like watching fire distorting the air above it. That wasn't there before …

Reaching her hand toward the rubble, she found the rubble solid, and suddenly, her hand phased through as a shout got stuck in her throat.

But Yuuki didn't relent. She pushed and found her entire body phasing through the rubble and found herself in a well lit hall that she never saw before. The sconces were bright and the floor clean, as if it had been cared for. "What the -"

An illusory wall! She had heard about it from some Frontliners. She thought it had been something only found at the end of a Boss Dungeon, not a place like this. Then again, was the Prisoner beneath not a boss in itself?

She walked through the halls and it didn't take her long to find a sideroom. Poking her head inside, she found it was a tomb: numerous sarcophagi neatly lining the walls, a tale of battle suspended in time with carvings and paint. In one corner were bedrolls, in another was a small fire pit with a cooking pot hanging over. Nearby, leaning against the wall was «Wicasa's Legacy».

Yet that was not the most surprising thing she found. "Git Guld?"

The swordsman was bound in rope and gagged, leaning against the wall, sleeping. Placing her torch away, she approached the sleeping player and ungagged him. That was enough to stir him from his sleep.

Guld looked awful. His hair was a mess and he looked like he barely slept. "Y-Yuuki?"

"Wha - I just saw you last night?"

His eyes widened. "Look out!"

Yuuki turned her head last thing she saw before she was knocked out was a warclub coming right at her.

"And that makes ten! Keep up, Sinonon. You're five points behind."

"Argo, I have a broken arm."

The spider's corpse made a squelching sound as Sinon stepped on it. "Bah, excuses. Maybe if you joined me in sparring once in a while you wouldn't have broken your arm."

"I am going to poison your food."

Argo laughed. "Nice try, but you - wait, do you hear that?"

They stopped and listened. There was an ominous chant and the shuffling of feet. Both women looked at each other before Sinon extinguished the torch, running as quietly as they could.

They ran in complete darkness, barely seeing what was in front of them and would likely have hurt themselves had there not been the smallest light at the end and the sound of hammers reverberating throughout the cave.

They reached a window with iron bars and crouched next to it. What they witnessed shook them:

In a large cavern, Argo and Sinon could see a small army: group of necromancers performing their blasphemous arts, half a dozen black-robed wizards were walking between rows of undead, swinging a sort of censer puffing with some sort of green smoke. Even more stood by the sides, speaking and discussing with ill intent. The undead seemed countless, stretching far beyond what they could see. Many of the raised undead looked to be ancient yet their equipment looked new: tomahawks with shining axeheads, Granumite breastplates on bare grey skin, and bisonhide backed shields.

Across the cavern, a group of dwarven skeletons were hammering on a piece of iron, grinding spearheads and all sorts of smithing related crafts. There were easily a dozen of them, and a dozen dwarves could easily outfit an entire army Lisbeth had told Sinon. Some of their tools were of dwarven-make, and from the company smith had told them, dwarves tended to be buried with the tools of their craft.

"Sinon, look!" Argo whispered, and the slayer followed to where she was pointing:

At the very end of the cavern, on a raised platform, a man was reciting an ancient tongue from a familiar looking tome. Sinon recognised instantly. The mob of undead seemed to be entranced by the recitations of his spell, standing rigid and disciplined as statues.

Of the robed cultists, Sinon could see one that stood out. This necromancer was tall and thin as a spear, and was garbed in gold-inlaid purple robes instead of the usual black, wearing a bronze breastplate and carrying an opulent staff; it stood a head taller than he was, with a golden skull topping it decorated with brass worms around the shaft. His face was hidden within the darkness of his cowl. Following him were two skeletal dwarves, bedecked in magnificent plate and horned helmets, their beards still retained after deaths, carrying massive double-headed axes. Sinon had played enough video games to know who the Boss was.

"Shit, shit," whispered Argo. "Well, maybe this is just a random cult of necromancers, and has nothing to do with our tussles with the cult we've been fighting against?"

The boss necromancer stood next to the one at the pulpit and raised gnarled hands. "Friends, comrades," he intoned with a gravely voice, and the rest of the wizards stood at attention, save for the one reading the book and the censer-bearers. "Soon, we will wage a righteous war against the dogs of Wicasa, and free our glorious lord! HAIL LORD CONOTOCAURIUS!"

"HAIL LORD CONOTOCAURIUS! HAIL!" the crowd chanted back, their undead minions banging their dwarven-forged weapons against their shields. The cavern rumbled with bloodlust.

"Hmm, maybe I've spoken too soon," said the Rat.

"You think?!" Sinon snapped.

"We need to get back to the fort ASAP."

"Agreed. Wait, who's Discount Saddler talking to over there?"

A man in a nondescript half cloak and a skull mask said something to the necromancer lord. The tall wizard nodded and gestured to a room to the side and the two made their way over there.

"Huh, that guys looked familiar," said Argo. "Wait a sec, you don't think that's who I think it is?"

Sinon nodded. "That's the bastard that trapped us in here. C'mon, let's see if we can overhear what they're chatting about."

The slayer moved to the right, to the next point of light. "You've got a broken arm, idiot!" Argo whispered.

"And we'd be bigger idiots if we don't report back with intel. Come on."

It didn't take too long for them to arrive at the sideroom the necromancer lord and the mystery man were chatting in. Like before, there were low grates wherei they could overhear their conversation though the tunnels had decreased in size. Sinon heard them speak before she saw them."

" - all is according to plan, I assume?" asked the stranger, his voice as sweet as poisoned wine.

"That it is," said the necromancer lord. "Though, I must say, the lack of the Book of Sodosma has left our grasp of our minions … tenuous at best. Even I would have problems holding so many corpses enthralled."

"Worry not," said the stranger. "My accomplice in the fort has engineered a disaster in the making. In the mayhem, and when the paladin is overwhelmed with duties, the book shall be taken right under their noses."

The necromancer lord scoffed. "Had you simply stolen both books in the first place, this would not have been needed."

"The Watch's security was too complete, too tight on my first go around. This time it will be different."

The boss leaned his staff against the wall and took his seat behind his desk. "Very well. I have already provided you with rare glamour magicks, fail me not a second time. Now, is there another issue?"

"Aye. Two of the board members of the Kirito Corporation have found the patch of mushrooms which I've been using for my potions. They're onto us."

"You have not dispatched them?"

"Too risky. They might recognise me. Better to bury them in. It may take them a while to dig through, but I doubt they'll find a way out anytime soon."

"Or they may find their way around these tunnels," said the wizard.

"What are the chances that would happen?" said the stranger. "Now you said something about a new weapon for me?"

"Yes, these dead dwarves know how to wield hammer and tongs even in death. Come, let me show you." Thus the two evildoers left the office, leaving the two women by themselves.

"He left his staff," said Argo. "Creepy worm ass looking thing. If we grab it…"

"How can we? We're in a tight tunnel and there's iron bars blocking our - oh, you're giving me the look."

Smirking, Argo slipped off her vest. "Watch and learn, Sinonon."

The tunnel they were in was small enough both of them needed to half crouch. Argo adjusted the wraps on her hands onto the bars and started to bend.

The Rat, for all her hunger and tiredness, had a deep well of strength. Her already muscular arms grew, great cable like veins pumping blood. Shoulder muscles popped, sweat beaded from her back, and even in the darkness of the tunnel, her brawniness shone. Her already impressive triceps grew twice in size and Sinon doubted she could wrap both hands around it.

The iron creaked and cracked under her immense power and within the confines of the tunnel Sinon worried that she may have alerted the entire cult. But just as the iron struck its highest pitch, the bars loosened and popped, and Argo dropped the bars onto the dirt floor.

Finangling herself through the new hole, she entered the office and grabbed onto the staff and shoved it into the hole. Sinon took it. "Good, now c'mon let's get outta here."

Before the Rat could say another word, the door opened, as a necromancer entered. Their eyes widened. "Intruder!"

The shout died on his lips as Sinon's thrown knife struck him in his windpipe. The wizard cough and gasped, blood spurting from his wound before he fell to the floor, dead.

Argo, thinking quickly and muscles pumped, grabbed onto the desk and hauled it to the door as easily as lifting a pillow. "Alright, time to scram."

Grabbing onto the Rat with her good hand, Sinon hauled the smaller woman into the tunnel and the two of them retreated their steps just in time for an axehead to split through the door.

"What now?"

"Now, we find a way out," said the slayer. "This staff better be worth it."

As Sinon uttered the words, thoughts came into her mind. A path imprinted into her mind came to her as fresh as a memory. "I know the way."

"Now is not the time for jokes, Sinonon."

"Head right, left, and another left. Then walk for another ten minutes."

Argo blinked. "How do you know?"

"I … I don't." Then she looked down at her wrist, where the long brass worm that around the staff now wrapped onto her wrist, alive. "Ugh, gross!"

"An enchanted staff? Must be some sort of worm-sense!"

"Really? Worm-sense?"

"Beggars can't be choosers. Now c'mon, let's go!" said the Rat as the two made their escape.

"Bit early to start drinking, don't you think?"

"Just give me another beer, dammit."

"Okay, okay. No need to be rude," said the bartender as he slid another mug of beer. "You want fries or something, buddy?"

"I'm … I'm good, thanks." Nezha sipped his beer, but after his second mug, even the smell of it was becoming too much for him.

When he joined this gig, he wanted to get revenge on that asshole Kirito for firing him. He didn't sign up for this. The sheer glares Git Guld sent his way was enough to make Nezha to eat back at 'his' office. It was a good thing that the guards cleared it off any customers.

And now what was he doing? Watching over a captive, feeding him, and knocking out a little girl? She wasn't supposed to be there! He had forgotten his drink only to have this strange girl snooping in the office shack. He felt like a creep tying a prebuscent girl and leaving her be like that.

God, what was he gonna do? Let her go? No, she would report back to Asuna. Safest thing to do is wait for PoH to come back, that's the smart thing to do. Just hope he didn't ask for anything too drastic.

Nezha almost jumped out of his skin when he felt something hit him in the back. "Nes! Good to see you again."

Oh great. This was the last person he had hoped to see. "Ah, Lisbeth. Taking a break?"

"Something like that! Yo, Agil! Burgers this way, me and my friend."

"You got it, boss," said the big man as he put a couple of patties on the grill. "Almost cleared out my stock when some elf lady came and ate a quarter of my larder yesterday."

"If you haven't tried Agil-san's bison burgers, you're in for a treat, Nes-san! By the way, isn't it too early to drink?"

"Speak for yourself, it looks like you haven't slept in a while."

"Oh, that clear, huh?" The bags under her eyes were very noticeable. "It's just … well … something of mine got stolen."

And there was the knife to his heart. "You don't say?"

"Yeah. Tupi, that's the steward of the Watch by the way, forced me to go get some food. I'd have whipped up a new s-tool. A new tool if possible, because let's just say my life depends on it."

Considering it took them an entire week to get the longsword made, and that was on double time with sleepless nights, Nezha was all too aware. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't worry about it, Kirito will figure something out. He always does. Oh, and Agil, make mine to go, eh?"

He wrapped the burger in linen in a jiffy. "I'd give ya' coffee, but I don't have any on hand."

"That's alright. It's the thought that counts. Sorry to cut it short, Nes-san, but duty calls. Hey Agil, put it on my tab, okay?" she said and left him by his lonesome.

"Lisbeth, wait!"

"Yeah?"

It took Nezha all his willpower not to spill it. "Nothing, good luck on your sword search."

"Have fun!" she said as she skipped her way back to the fort.

It was only halfway back that it occurred to Lisbeth that she never mentioned anything about a sword.

I'm afraid with a heavy heart that I must say that there will be no Merchant Prince or Sinonon Chapter next month. Very busy for reasons obvious. I may or may not post another chapter of Sinonon, or maybe some other stuff, but don't count on it. The arc is coming to a close soon!

The Kirito Corporation thanks you for your patience.