Rule by ijnfleetadmiral

15433. The Science!Girls have a new employee. Please welcome her.

There were certain things necessary to conduct a successful summoning. Bauxite, fuel, some ammunition…all things warships would need. Maybe a vial of aviation gasoline if you wanted a carrier, or a torpedo if you were specifically after a submarine. And if you wanted a specific ship, you would include something that would relate to their name.

Things that didn't pertain to summoning were usually okay to bring into the chamber without threat of any mishaps, but today just seemed…different.

And that's why Fleet Admiral Jeffrey Briggs was worried.

The Admiral glanced around as various personnel filed into the chamber to aid in the summoning. And of course there were the two Science!Girls, Phoenix and SoDak, as well as their two 'Laboratory Assistants', Sparky and Oak Ridge. Briggs saw Sparky walking in with a bag from Taco Bell and initially thought about stopping her, but then had second thoughts.

I can't recall any ships being associated with Taco Bell…what harm could it do?

He shook his head to clear his mind – despite a little voice in his head saying he really needed to be more careful and not flip karma the bird like that – and turned his attention to more important matters.

The summoning proceeded without incident, resulting in several new shipgirls…and another new girl standing by the pool looking rather confused. She was average height, with turquoise hair, wire-rim glasses, and an older-style police uniform.

"Not to be rude, miss," Briggs addressed the unknown girl, "but who are you?"

The new girl didn't say a word, and instead walked over to where Sparky and Oak Ridge were sitting at the back of the room, picked up a Burrito Supreme, opened the wrapping, and chowed down.

"Yum."

"Girl knows good food when she sees it!" Oak Ridge giggled, while Sparky gave her signature laugh and insanity-tinged grin at Briggs when he approached the table.

"Miss, we need to know your name, please."

The girl appeared to be concentrating solely on her food, but she did spare a brief second to reply to Briggs' request.

"Can't talk…eating."

"Hate to tell you this, but he's not gonna give you a moment's peace until he gets what he wants," Yellowstone informed the newcomer. "It's annoying, but we've learned to live with it."

"HEY!" Briggs growled as the volcano girl and the self-summoned electric chair cackled.

"We've tried to break him of that habit, but it's just resulted in a lot of vacations and, weirdly enough, a massive pudding addiction." Sparky's added comment did nothing to improve the Admiral's mood.

"I do NOT have a pudding addiction!"

"Pudding?" The new girl's head jerked up. "Where?"

"We'll sneak you some from the Admiral's secret stash…it's the best," Yellowstone assured her over Briggs' indignant protest and Sparky's insane giggle at the thought of future chaos.

The new girl sighed and turned to Briggs. "You can call me Amandine Dickerson. Now," she turned to Yellowstone, "I believe you mentioned pudding?"

"Sure! Right this way!" Yellowstone grinned, leading the new girl out of the summoning chamber.

"Ehehe! Bye!" Sparky giggled and waved as she jumped up and ran after them, carting the remnants of the food from Taco Bell.

Briggs sighed. The stress was starting to get to him again, and Carnival Legend was currently at sea. He forced himself to think positive.

At least Sparky cleaned up their mess...

Three weeks later and Briggs still couldn't figure out what Amandine was, or why or how she'd been summoned. But Phoenix and crew had apparently 'adopted' her, and getting her settled in meant they hadn't had much of a chance to cause chaos or destroy anything as of late, so Briggs and Portland – who'd taken over from Wright, who was now on maternity leave with Moskva – weren't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Then the 'incident' happened.

Amandine – or 'Mandi', as she'd been nicknamed – had gone to the mall close to the Naval Base. Mandi had needed some clothes other than the outfit she'd been summoned in, and Briggs had designated Portland to go with her. Saipan – upon hearing her girlfriend was going shopping – decided to tag along, while Yellowstone and Sparky had decreed they were going as well. Portland – who didn't relish the prospect of turning Sparky and Yellowstone loose in a mall – reluctantly agreed to bring them.

Now, Portland was regretting letting anyone tag along at all; Mandi had spent two hours in Barnes & Noble buying chemistry and science-related books that Portland were pretty sure would be advanced even for Einstein, while Yellowstone and Sparky got distracted by anything shiny and/or made noise and lit up. Going past the arcade had proved a definite challenge.

Then there was Saipan, who was in 'playful' mode today. This meant teasing her girlfriend into an easily distracted, horny mess and then looking completely innocent when Portland tried to get her to knock it off.

The fact that Portland secretly loved the game was not lost on either of them.

Now Yellowstone and Sparky had dragged Mandi into the one store that Portland had sworn up and down they would not be patronizing on that shopping trip.

Victoria's Secret.

And – predictably – Saipan was loving every minute of it, pointedly informing her girlfriend that she planned to do some shopping of her own.

"Babe, can you come here a sec?"

Portland drew her attention away from where Yellowstone was explaining different lingerie styles to Mandi – and pointedly ignoring Sparky, who was standing near a display showing a next-to-nothing nightie and eyeing it with her insane grin – and walked over to a nearby dressing room. She was about to say something when the door opened and her girlfriend reached out and pulled her inside.

"Hey! What's...the…meaning…?" The heavy cruiser trailed off when she saw Saipan's outfit of a side-tie bikini in a shade called 'Forever Pink'.

"You like?" the light carrier purred, striking a pose with her hands on her hips and giving Portland a 'come and take it' grin.

Portland pounced. Her shoulder angel shouting that she should not be taking what was so blatantly on offer was swiftly drowned out by the delightful noises coming from her girlfriend, along with the devil on her other shoulder saying that the Science!trio would be all right by themselves for the next fifteen or twenty minutes…

Sparky finished up in the restroom and ran her hands under the dryer. As she opened the door to go out into the hallway, the door to the adjacent men's restroom also opened.

"Hey there, pretty girl," a young man with a high-pitched, grating voice greeted her. His hair was cut short, and he had a roly-poly build. He wore thick-framed glasses perched on a small nose that appeared to have been broken a time or two before.

Warnings started going off in Sparky's brain, but she wasn't worried…she could more than take care of herself. Something this Darwin Award candidate's going to find out the hard way if he tries anything, she thought.

"I've been watching you all morning," the young man seemed quite proud of himself for this 'feat', "and I couldn't wait any longer…I had to come say 'hi'. So…hi," he giggled, coming closer than anyone would feel comfortable with.

"Hi. You wanna step back a bit there?" Sparky edged herself backward, but the young man simply kept coming.

"What's wrong, cutie? You shy or something? I wanna get to know you." He glanced around then appeared to decide something. "But not here…we need privacy." He grabbed Sparky and attempted to pick her up, and was seemingly surprised at how light she was. He hefted her under his arm, opened the door to the men's restroom, and headed back inside.

Sparky sighed and went limp in her captor's grasp, becoming as ungainly and maneuverable as a sack of potatoes or the classic move of 'Flat Basset'. Now to lull him into a false sense of security, she giggled to herself. He's not gonna know what hit him…literally!

Mandi sighed. Sparky sure was taking a long time in the bathroom. She glanced around the food court, her eyes landing briefly on Yellowstone, who was trying to get the people working the Japanese teriyaki grill to let her give the grill 'more heating power' via her own 'unique' methods. Judging by the way the manager was arguing with her in Japanese, she was not proving successful.

She got up and went down the hall to the restroom, hearing an unknown voice, followed by Sparky saying something. Rounding the corner, she was just in time to see a man carry Sparky into the men's room.

Mandi's vision went red and she stormed towards the door.

For Marty Beckett, everything seemed to go wrong at once. He'd gotten the cutie into the restroom and into the bathroom stall without any problems, but it went downhill from there at what felt like warp nine.

"So…wanna tell me about yourself?" He giggled as he advanced on the girl, who – to his disappointment – didn't appear at all afraid, which in hindsight probably should've been his first clue.

The girl shrugged. "Sure, but first…how about I light up your life?" She flashed him a grin that was more insanity than happiness, and it was right then Marty realized he'd probably made the last mistake of his life.

Sparky grabbed the creep's hand and sent a blast of 'juice' through it, and Marty screamed in pain and went flying backwards…

…while Mandi crashed through the restroom door just as Marty blasted through the door of the stall and smashed quite painfully into the row of ceramic sinks against the opposite wall. He hauled himself to his feet and glowered at Sparky, the effect of which was ruined by the obvious fact he'd peed his pants and his arm was visibly trembling like he had advanced Parkinson's Disease.

"I-I d-don't know how you d-did that, b-but y-you're g-gonna get it n-now!" He turned and saw Mandi advancing and flashed her a sinister look. "And y-you'll be n-next!"

Mandi's response was to get up close and personal, grab his jaw in her hand, turn his face towards her, and exhale a white plume of air directly into his face.

The overwhelming scent of musty, sweet almonds burned Marty's nostrils, and his taste buds and lungs seemed like they'd just been doused with acid. He did the only thing he could think of.

He screamed as loud as he possibly could.

Admiral Briggs ran his hand over his face wearily.

"Let me get this straight…you saw Sparky being carried into the men's restroom and went after her."

"Correct," Mandi nodded, and Briggs turned to a nuclear-blushing Portland and a very satisfied-looking Saipan. "And where were you, Miss Acting Secretary?"

"Miss Saipan needed help in the dressing room, so Miss Portland went in to help her," Mandi helpfully volunteered.

Portland whimpered and plopped down in the chair at her desk while Saipan stretched like a cat and exhaled contentedly.

Briggs resisted the urge to facepalm and concentrated on Mandi; it appeared the poor cruiser was punishing herself enough as it was.

"And where was Yellowstone – OW!" A soft rubber ball bounced off the side of his head as he heard the volcanogirl in question yell, "Catch, Admiral!" The ball ricocheted off Briggs' head and emitted a very annoying giggling noise.

"What the hell is that thing?" He glowered at the offending object while rubbing his head.

"It's a Giggle Ball!" the human caldera announced happily. "I found it at Toys 'R Us!"

"How nice," Briggs snarked. "Whatever you do, please don't play with it in the lab."

"'Kay!"

The Admiral sighed and turned back to Mandi. "So you smash in the restroom door and see Sparky zap the asshole across the room with her powers."

"Ehehe!" The electric lunatic in question piped up from a corner of the room.

"Then," Briggs ignored the interruption, "you get in the guy's face and do…something…to him, which somehow results in his current residency in the ICU with severely scarred nasal passages and lungs and major trauma to his eyes. Just what the hell did you use on him?!"

"My powers." Mandi replied. "Given what I was before, I can – if I so choose – breath hydrocyanide gas. And given that Sparky is not only my friend, but a 'kindred spirt', if you will, I decided to help her." She pulled something out of her pocket and showed it to Briggs.

The Admiral's heart skipped a beat as he read the inscription on the seven-pointed gold police badge:

NEVADA CORRECTIONS

EXECUTIONER

"Dear God…we have another one," he moaned.

"She's gonna work in the lab with us!" Yellowstone piped up. "She likes chemistry!"

Briggs chose to ignore the chaos potential of that seemingly innocent statement and instead checked his calendar.

How long is Legend supposed to be gone?

He whimpered when he saw it was a three-week cruise to the Bahamas, and then reached into the minifridge behind him for a pudding cup. Lord knew he was going to need a lot more of them now.