Pokemon is owned by Gamefreak and all Pokédex entries are from Bulbapedia.
"Butts"- Humans speaking
"Butts"- Pokemon speaking
'Butts'- thoughts
"Butts"-Pokedex entries/TV commentary
Unholy Matrimony
After their scuffle with the Eevee brothers and dealing with the shocking reunion of Pikachu, Ash and his group are still on their way to find a way to Cinnabar Island, allowing Brock to stop at the nearest town to restock food first. However, they stop their tracks as Cobalt sports something they just passed.
Cobalt: Hey guys, check this out.
Ash: What is it?
Brock: It looks like a signpost… And it has a missing person's poster on it.
Indeed it was a wooden signpost, which was used to put up a poster of a missing child. However, the poster was decorated with a picture of a young boy wth expensive booking clothes. However…. The boy seemed familiar due to his hair…. His BLUE hair.
Ash: Is that…?
Misty: He looks like….
Brock: It can;t be…
Cobalt: Holy crap, is that….
Green: No way…..
Loki: Impossible…..
All: JAMES?!
Indeed, the boy in the picture looked extremely similar to James, the oh so familiar member of Team Rocket.
Ash: It… It certainly looks like James, alright.
As they stood by, a limo was seen driving up to the. They watched as the limo drove up more and more before stopping as an older man peaked out from one of the windows.
Man: Have you seen the boy in that photo?
Misty: If you mean James from Team Rocket… Unfortunately, yes. Every day for the past 6 months.
Man: Jolly good! Eureka! Quick, to the estate!
The man then opens the door and grabs the group, hulling them into the limo as it then sped off. However, they weren't the only ones in the area as the Team Rocket trio were seen coming out from the bushes. Jessie and Meowth came out from their spots as James solemnly came out form his spot as they looked at the sign.
Jessie: Hmm, this kid looks a lot like you.
James: You think so? He looks awfully pathetic.
Meowth: I think that's what she means. Maybe we better go investigate.
As Jessie nodded in agreement, she and Meowth began running after the limo as James stayed behind, sighing.
Jessie: James!
Meowth: What are you waiting for?
James: You guys go ahead, I'll wait here.
Jessie: Lik hell you will, come on!
James: *crosses arms* Make me.
Jessie frowns and growls, where the screen then transitions to her dragging a screaming James behind her as Meowth held his feet.
James: Help! Somebody!
—-
Back with Ash and friends, the limo they were driving in just drove through the front gates as the passengers inside relaxed, holding cups of tea as Cobalt and Green snacked on some biscuits.
Man: No need to get restless, we're almost to our destination.
Misty: Seems like we drove past the main gate about half an hour ago.
Green: Woah, look out the window!
Ash looked out the window, as did the others by instinct. They gawked and marveled as they saw a giant mansion in the distance.
Ash: Look at that place.
Misty: It's huge.
Brock: I've seen mini-malls smaller than that house.
Eventually, the limo stopped, allowing them to exit and actually look at the house itself.
Cobalt: This thing's absolutely massive, it must have like… 100 rooms!
Ash: It's the biggest mansion I've ever seen.
Man: That isn;t the mansion. This is the dog house of Growlie, Master James's favored Pokemon. *points over* That's the mansion over there.
They looked over, gasping in shock at the sight of an even bigger mansion. The man gestured for them to follow, hich they did. However as they got in, Jessie and Meowth had just arrived, still carrying James.
James: Help! Somebody help me! Stranger danger!
In the mansion, the man escorted Ash and his group into the main chamber, where much to their surprise, they see two coffins resting on a large bed of flowers with two portraits of a man and a woman in front of them.
Ash: Are those… Coffins?
Misty: Was there a funeral here?
Man: As you may have guessed, my master and madam only had one child, a boy named James. This morning, they sadly passed away and due to the law of inheritance, this estate is now his.
Green: This whole place is gonna belong to that Blue-Haird Himbo?!
?: I'm not- *muffled*
Everyone looked up, hearing something from above. But seeing as it was probably gone, they continued conversing.
Man: It's so firhgtfully tragic. After Master James ran away when he was a boy, his parents no longer had the strength to go on. Their hearts… Broken.
Misty: That's horrible.
Ash: I…. I'm vry sorry for your loss. I hope you find James to tell him very soon.
Man: Very soon won;t do! His parents' will clearly states that Master James must agree to the marriage proposal and marry his fiance in 24 hours of their passing away. If not, the entire estate will no longer belong to him and will be donated to charity.
With this knowledge in mind, the group left through the doors, sitting on the front steps as thy contemplated their next course of action.
Cobalt: Guys….. I think we should help find James.
Green: What, are you insane?!
Misty: What'd he say?
Ash: Cobalt said we should help that man find James.
Misty: What, are you insane?!
Green: Huh. Guess we have a lot more in common than I thought.
Misty: Why should we help him after all the crap he put us through?
Brock: It's his parents' funeral. This could be his last chance to say goodbye.
Misty: Wow, I… *guilty* I didn;t think of it that way. But we have no idea wher ehe is. It's not like we can find him in one day.
James: *off-screen* NO! NEVER!
Jessie: *off-screen* Careful, James!
Suddenly, with a loud scream, Jessie, James, and Meowth fall from the mansion;s roof, right in front of the group.
Loki: Huh. I'll be damned.
Suddenly, the three start arguing, James panickly yelling in defiance at whatever his two teammates were saying.
Brock: You guys stop that right now! Don;t you know James's parents just passed?
Ash: He has to come to their funeral!
James: NEVER!
Jessie: ….James…. We're getting VERY cross with you….
Meowth: Don;t you want to be the richest man in Kanto?
James: I….. I don;t know. *clutches* AH! I feel like my head is splitting! I can barely piece together a thing!
Green: What's wrong with him?
Cobalt: I think James is having a mental breakdown.
Meowth: Well, can you make him stop?
Cobalt: I'm a Lucario, not a therapist. But I have an idea in mind.
As James continued his panic attack, Cobalt suddenly hugged him tightly. Soon enough, James returned the hug as he began to slowly alm down.
Cobalt: That's right, buddy. Calm down, everything's okay. Now, how about you tell me the last full memory you can recall….
James: I…..It's all mostly a blur…. I remember flunking out of Pokemon Tech and joining a biker gang… I only remember one scene before that. It was a dark and stormy night, a boy was wandering far from home with his reliable and best buddy, Growlie. They were both freezing and neither of them had eaten in days, which was kind of weird since Growlie was a Fire type. The poor boy collapsed upon the doors of a synagogue and as he looked upon the stain glass windows… He saw angels coming for him. Then… The boy departed our beyond the veil, and poor Growlie howled throughout the night, even when the boy was found frozen over the next day…..
Though the story was indeed sad and tear-jerking, nobody actually believed James as even though in the story he died…. He was right here.
Misty: Uh, nice story and all but there's one detail you forgot….. YOU'RE JAMES!
James: Ah, that's right!... *clutches head* Everything's all mixed up!
Jessie: Regardless of what you remember, you need to go in there and get the cash.
Ash: But James can't get the estate OR the money unless he gets married by some girl in the next 24 hours
Jessie: We'll just fake a wedding and make off with the cash. Simple.
James: I won;t do it!
Meowth: Jim, you have to. You wanna live like a bum for the rest of ya life?
James: Yes.
Jessie: Oh, you're being ridiculous. I'm sure your future husband or wife will be just dandy.
James: *runs off* I won;t do it!
As James was about to run out the gates, Jessie and Meowth throw ropes over him, lassoing him like a horse before reeling him back despite his declining. Eventually, they dressed James in a suit and gagged him before Jessie and Meowth clung behind him, both wearin black clothing and face veils.
Meowth: This is foolproof.
Jessie: With these shadow suits, we'll blend in no problem.
Cobalt: This won;t work in like, a million years.
Ash and the others hid behind a pillar while Jessie knocked on the door, which opened to reveal the man from earlier.
Man: Yes?
Jessie: *imitates James* It's me, James. I've come home.
Misty: This is never gonna work-
Man: Welcome home, Sir!
Brock: Oh, what the hell!
Man: Your parents will be most pleased to see you, come in.
Jessie: *imitates James* Thank you.
Loki: Wow, either they're that good or the butler's an idiot.
As he led James into the mansion, the others watched from outside, the butler telling the coffins about how James had come back and was ready to marry his fiance.
Misty: This just isn;t right what they're doing to James.
Ash: I know, I'm not sure how it can get any worse.
Suddenly, ominous chuckling sounded throughout the room, creping everyone but the butler out as the coffin lids then flung off, revealing a man and a woman hopping out of them.
Man: Prepare for trouble!
Woman: And make double….-ey not as good as Team Rocket's.
Green: Holy crap, they're ghosts!
Ash: Green, calm down. They're not ghosts, they're alive.
Misty: You mean… James's parents faked their death just to get James to come home? That…. *angry* That's horrible! Not even James deserves that!
Suddenly, the butler grabbed James (and subsequently Jessie and Meowth with him) and ran up the stairs with the parents, leaving our heroes back downstairs. Suspicious, Cobalt closed his eyes and his dreadlocks raised as he glowed.
Brock: What's Cobalt doing?
Cobalt: I;m using my aura power in order to see how many people are here besides us…. I sense the three Rocketeers, James's parents, and the butler…. But… Huh….
Ash: What's up?
Cobalt: There's another presence, I can't pinpoint who they are, but… I have a feeling it's James's fiance.
Loki: Well, only one thing to find out. Come on, let's investigate.
After Ash translates, the twam went up the stairs, finding an ajar door to peek through that showed the other group inside, although at the far end of the room sat a woman that covered her face with a fan.
James's Mother: As James's new wife, it will be your duty to turn him from a worthless do nothing into a respectable gentleman. My dear Jessebelle.
James: Hey, I resent that!
Jessebelle: As you wish, "Mother".
Brock: *blushes* Her voice… So sweet to my ears. Now that's a fine lady.
Suddenly, Croagunk appeared and was about to give him a Poison Jab, only for Loki to stop him.
Loki: Dude, I know it's annoying, but can you not today? We're trying to keep a low profile.
Croagunk stood for a second, nodding before being returned to his Pokeball. They looked back to see Jessie had hit Meowth, most likely he said something stupid.
Jessebelle: My name's Jessebelle. My only wish is to be your devoted and loving wife and companion and also…
She then lowered her fan and closed it, revealing her blue earrings and magenta hair.
Jessebelle: To educate you in your duties as a gentleman of property.
However, as she revealed her face, both Ash's group and Team Rcket stared or even yelled in shock as the woman in front odf them resembled.
Green: Holy shit, she looks like Jessie!
James: *screams, shields face* IT BUURRRNNNNSSS!
Misty: Not only are they dumb enough to not notice Jessie and Meowth, she even looks like her. This is becoming more and more of a horror film.
Cobalt: She's lying.
Ash: What? What do you mean she's lying?
Cobalt: I can read emotions, remember? And that comes with the ability to read people's thoughts. Jessebelle and his folks actually CAN see Jessie and Meowth and they're gonna take him downstairs to what they say is a vault to "teach him a lesson for running away".
Jessebelle: Here's an idea; let's go down to the vault and count all the money you'll be inheriting.
Brock: And that's our cue to leave.
With that, they rushed down the stairs and through the door, panting heavily as Cobalt and Green used their backs to shut the doors completely.
Ash: Why did we run out, we should've stayed and helped James.
Brock: We will, but if we do something out of impulse, it'll go wrong fast.
Misty: Brock's right, we're gonna need a plan of action first.
Cobalt: Someone;s coming, get out of the way!
Panicking, they run out of the way of the door just as it opens, revealing a slightly parlyzed Meoth and Jessie that were thrown out by the butler. After the doors were shut, Ash and Misty went over, helping them up.
Ash: Are you guys okay?
Meowth: We're fine, twerp. It's just a mild Stun Spore, nothin too bad.
Misty: What happened in there?
Jessie: That crazy bitch of a fiance James has showed us some sort of punishment dungeon and threatened James with a whip! They knew we were in there with them all along and played us for fools until that psycho told her Vileplume to Stun Spore on us. *worried* James is still in there….
Meowth: We wanted to get the money… But not like this.
Suddenly, a loud banging could be heard from the dog house as gruff barking could be heard as something tried to ram down the doors from the inside.
?: Let me out! I need to get out there!
Trying to hide his ability, Ash pretended to not be able to understand the growling from within.
Ash: What's that?
Meowth: They're saying to let them out of the doghouse.
Cobalt: Hold on, I got you.
The Lucario tried to pull the doors open, only for them to slightly jostle.
Cobalt: Dammit, they're locked!
Green: Now what do we do?
Loki: My time has come.
Suddenly, the Squirtle climbed up Jessie and reached into the resisting woman's hair, pulling out a hairpin. Asking Cobalt to pick him up, Loki straughtend and twisted the hairpin before inserting it into the keyhole of the door and turning it.
Loki: One thing great about being in the Squirtle Squad; I learned how to pick locks… *lock clicks* Got it!
Suddenly, the doors flung open, revealing a Growlight as it leapt through the doors and sent the three Pokemon back. Ash and Misty helped them to their feet as they looked to see the Growlithe running into the mansion.
Meowth: Da hell was that?!
Green: I think that was Growlie. After all, that was his dog house. Then that means….
Cobalt: He;s running to save James….
With eyes narrowed, Cobalt quickly got up and sprinted after the Growlithe, ignoring Green and Ash's yelling and asking where he was going while he followed the Growlithe's aura as he ran into the dining room and fdown a hidden staircase to the basement, just as Jessebelle and her Pokemon, a Vileplume, were towering over a desperate James.
Jessebelle: James, it's time for the wedding~.
James only looked more and more terrified before suddenly, Growlie leapt in between the pair, growling threateningly at the women as James smiled in relief.
James: Growlie!
Jessebelle: Oh no! Who let you in here!?
Growlie: Doesn;t matter, you stay from him or else!
However before Jessebelle could call an attack, Cobalt ran into the dungeon and picked up James.
Cobalt: You know, you are surprisingly light.
James: Y… You?
Growlie: Who are-
Cobalt: No time! Come on, we gotta move!
Nodding, Growlie led the way as Cobalt threw James to lay over his shoulder as he ran up the stairs once more.
Jessebelle: Where are ya going? Don;t leave!
These words fell on deaf ears as Cobalt and Hrowie made it to the dining room. Seeing the butler running to block the door, Cobalt cradled James into his arms and picked up Growlie as he jumped after a running start, turning to his back to break the window.
Cobalt: *groans* That was a bad idea.
Growlie: You're telling me. I'm not the one with shards in his back.
Cobalt kept running with the human and dog in his arms as he made it to the courtyard as he saw Ash, Misty, and the others still on the doghouse's front steps.
Cobalt: Guys! Guys, get in the house!
Green: What?
Cobalt: Get in the house!
Green: Dry off the blouse?
Meowth: He said get in the house!
With Cobalt running at them to[p speed, Ash and Brock held the doors open as Green, Misty, Jessie, Loi, and Meowth rushed inside as Cobalt carried James and Growlie past the doors as the boys closed them, James rushing over to lock them after being set down. With the adrenaline running out, Cobalt sat down as the pain in his back began to emerge, eliciting Brock and Green to treat him as best as they could (or reprimand his stupidity, in Green's case). James sat down on the couch, sighing in relief as Growlie jumped onto the couch with him.
James: Growlie, you came for me. Thank you.
Growlie: Of course, Jimmy. We're best pals forever, remember?
Jessie: Well, James, your fiance is truly despicable.
Meowth: Told you she's like Jessie… But worse.
Jessie: You-... Okay, fair.
Ash: That girl is crazy, how'd you get saddled up with her?
James: *sighs* It's an eranged marriage to merge our families. In fact, Jessebelle's the reason I left the estate over 11 years ago. As soon as my engagement was announced, Jessebelle would NEVER leave me alone, she kept trying to change me.
Misty: *disgusted* Even in the bathroom?
James: *horrfied* Every bathroom…. Nothing I ever did was "refined" enough for her. She even tried to convince me to abandon Growlie.
This caught Ash's sympathy, sure they did some bad things, but James had nowhere else to go except back to the horrid married life he had. He'd feel horrible and run away too if some girl or guy he was deranged to marry tried to make him abandon Cobalt, Green, or any of his other Pokemon.
James: Ever since I was a boy, I hated how upper class society had rules for absolutely everything. And Jessebelle is so rigid, if I married her, I'd be trapped forever! *pets Growlie* The only other friends I've had in my childhood were Growlie and a Pokemon I caught when we stayed at our summer home in Sinnoh.
Brock: Woah….
Misty: I've always wondered what it would be like to grow up with a rich family.
Meowth: I guess it does have its downsides. What's the point of having mountains of cash if you can;t enjoy your life with it?
Wobbuffet: *pops up* That's right!... Sorry, sorry. That was inappropriate, just making a point. *to James* You have my sincere condolences.
Suddenly, the wall behind Jessie, Meowth, and Wobbuffet cracked and eventually busted down, sending the three flying.
James: Now what?!
The dust settled, revealing Jessebelle and her Vileplume with her. Expecting James might need help, Ash scanned the flower Pokemon.
Pokedex: Vileplume, the Flower Pokemon and one of the final evolved forms of Oddish. A Grass and Poison Type. Vileplume's toxic pollen triggers atrocious allergy attacks. It is advisable never to approach any attractive flowers in a jungle, however pretty they may be.
Jessebelle: My sweet James, you can;t escape me.
James: *angry* Leave me alon, you vile woman!
Jessebelle: Vileplume, Stun Spore them to sleep like before!
Ash: Cobalt, deflect it with Aura Sphere!
Cobalt threw an Aura Sphere at the cloud of yellow powder, dispersing the spores and sending Vileplume back.
James: Now Growlie, Fire Spin!
The Growlithe let out a burst of flame that enveloped Vileplume, making Jessebelle shriek as she and the flower ran off, with Vileplume still on fire.
Jessebelle: Get away from me, you horrid beast!
Seeing the woman finally leave, James looked to his childhood best friend, smiling gratefully.
James: Growlie, you're the best.
Growlie simply smiled as he and James hid in the dog house's bushes. As Ash and the others were about to leave, Cobalt looked down to see something gleaming under a floorboard, pulling it up to reveal an expensive looking Pokeball. Putting two and two together, he found Growlie and James conversing as they listened to his parents, who were talking smack about him as they fed the Magikarp swimming about.
James: Well Growlie, please take good care of my parents. They need you here.
Growlie: What? No, they don't.
James: It's nothing against you. This upper crush high life just doesn;t suit me, I'm better liiving the low life of Team Rocket.
The Growlithe gave him a sad look, snuggling close to James as the man fought back tears.
James: Please don;t, Growlie. It's hard enough to leave you again.
Cobalt: Then don't.
James looked in confusion as the Lucario lingered back, before gasping in surprise as he handed him a Poke Ball.
Cobalt: Before you go, I have a feeling you'll need this.
James: This…. *takes Pokeball* This is Growlie's ball. Wher'd you find it?
Cobalt: Under the floor of the doghouse. My guess is they hid it, knowing you'd come back for it. You may think Growlie would prefer this life, but the truth is… We don;t care about the kind of life our trainers live, just as long as we get to be with them.
James: Hm….. So, Growlie, do you want to finally run away with me now?
Growlie: *smiles* I've been waiting years for you to ask that.
James: Oh, happy day! Growlie, return.
As Growlie was sucked into his Pokeball for the first time in years, Cobalt too it as his cue to leave. He was about to do just that, until James stopped him.
James: After all I've done to you…. You helped me…. Why?
Cobalt: Look, James, despite how much you might say you are, you're not evil. To me, there's no such thing as a bad person or a bad Pokemon, it's always just… Someone who's lost their way. You have the makings of a great trainer, James. But that doesn;t change the fact that I know your secret and you know Ash's. So… If you do't tell Jessie and Meowth Ash can talk to Pokemon, I won't tell Ash.
James: ….Tell him if you want. I was going to tell Jess and Meowth I'm a Speaker, anyway. But jst so you knwo, even though you heped me… I'm not gonna go easy on you.
Cobalt: *nods* Good. I don;t expect you to.
Despite the stern look he gave the Lucario, James gave him a soft mile as he conjoined his hand with his paw.
James: You;re a good Pokemon, Cobalt. Both in heart and power. If you wre in Team Rocket, I'd be glad to work with you.
Cobalt: And if you were a trainer, I'd be glad to have a battle with you.
And as such, Cobalt leapt off to rejoin his group while James changed into his Team Rocket uniform, letting Growlie out before the two ran off to find their partners. Sure James may be on the side of darkness now and he may still be an adversary, but maybe with just the right push…
Maybe he and his friends can truly be the best like they dreamed and while they're at it, break through and see the light.
TO BE CONTINUED…..
—-
Ash's Team
Lucario: Cobalt
Sceptile: Green
Alakazam: Psi
Gengar: Yami
Charmeleon: Aidan
Drizzile: Azula
Rotom: Sparky (at Oak's lab)
Misty's Team
Staryu
Psyduck: Perry
Gyarados: Mel (Malestrom)
Squirtle: Loki
Wimpod: Harold
Goldeen: Bella (at gym)
Horsea: Jeff
Starmie (at gym)
Butterfree: Alex (at gym)
Tentacool: Charles (at gym)
Brock's Team
Onix
Geodude
Zubat: Nightwing
Bulbasaur
Croagunk
Mankey: John
Jessie's Team
Arbok
Wobbuffet
Yanmega
James's Team
Weezing
Inkay
Growlithe: Growlie