Back to work.

Ritsuko sneered bitterly at her own thoughts, at her own situation. The incident had only been three days ago, she had come only the previous day, and here she was again already, working. Like a good little drone, just fulfilling her task. She hated this, hated Gendo, hated herself. But what else could she do? Confront Gendo? She could do that, but to what avail? If she just complained and whined, he probably wouldn't even listen to her. Gendo respected strength and competence, and wouldn't abide anything else. Attack him? He was too well protected for that, and besides, with that thing now attached to his hand…

There was nothing she really could do. And really, what else did she have left in life besides her work? For years now she had always put her work first, hoping, trusting that her support for Gendo would eventually pay off, that he could actually love her. What a fool I have been. Mother and daughter alike. She had to go to work, because she had nothing else. And even besides the manipulations of Gendo and SEELE, NERV had a purpose. If an angel reached Terminal Dogma, they would all die, schemers and innocents alike.

This is pathetic. Ritsuko resented herself for her weakness. For her self-pity. She was not some fragile flower that would now retreat into her apartment and just die. She would go on. Just… for what? What sense did this all still make? She was simply going through the motions at the moment.

Normally, she would have been very interested in some results of the ongoing synch-test. For the first time, there were five entry-plugs on the other side of the window. Five children, all trying to synch. And the test results from their newest pilot, Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child, were interesting. He slightly beat out Rei, but couldn't nearly come close to Shinji's values. But the synch-rate he did achieve was impossibly stable. It didn't swerve even the slightest bit up or down. Normally, changes in the sub-percent range happened constantly.

Interesting… but right now completely irrelevant to Ritsuko. She was pacing back and forth behind the computer terminals, barely paying attention to them. The techs in front of them sometimes gave her worried looks, most of all Maya, but this didn't really register with her, either.

"How long are we supposed to sit in here?" came a voice through the comm channels. Touji Suzuhara, Fourth Child. His synch-rates had been the lowest so far, even lower than Rei's – but then, Rei had made steady progress over the last months. Touji was still at the very beginning of that development. If he would ever develop at all.

"The test is schedules to last another half hour," Maya told him. "Sorry."

Touji groaned. "This is all nonsense. We're doing this to raise our synch-rate, yeah?"

"Uh, yes..." Maya answered.

"But why?" Touji exclaimed. "It's ridiculous, I tell you. We're training to feel more pain in battle!"

"Will you shut up now?" Asuka hissed over the comm system. "Are you so goddamn afraid of pain?"

"I'm not afraid," Touji defended himself, hurt pride in his voice. "I'll take on whatever angel will come our way. But it still doesn't make any sense at all."

Ritsuko walked over to one of the terminals, forcefully thumped her hand on its upper edge and shouted into the comm system, "Quiet now, all of you! Touji, you agreed to pilot. This is part of it. Remember what we do in return!"

Everyone looked at her with shock. Maya was right next to her, and she felt her gaze. She ignored it. The young woman was idolizing her far too much, anyway. It wasn't that Ritsuko didn't like Maya. She did, and that was exactly the problem: Maya was young, fresh, innocent… naive. And if she were ever to follow in Ritsuko's footsteps, she would lose that innocence. Even at her current level of involvement, she was beginning to sully herself, like with her involvement in the Dummy Plug development. Ritsuko had long since stopped caring about that stuff for herself, but there was no reason to drag Maya down with her.

Ritsuko's face was stony as she stepped back from the terminal again. She couldn't allow the pilots to get even more unruly. Asuka had demonstratively refused any communication with her at the briefing. Shinji had been less bold, but his resentful voice and furrowed brows had been a language of their own. Rei, of course, had simply been Rei, confirming orders in that monotonous voice and showing no emotions at all. And now Touji was complaining. After Asuka's mutiny during the last fight, they all apparently were thinking they could do what they want. And sure enough they could – outside NERV.

It wasn't just the pilots, though. Misato had been overly formal and very distant with her. It seemed none of them had forgiven her for prioritizing EVA-01 over Rei in her rescue plan – nevermind that the plan hadn't come to be enacted. Nevermind that it was the only thing Ritsuko could have done. And nevermind that Rei was an expendable thing, a tool, and would in way or the other have survived anyway. With the plan she had designed, everything and everyone would in fact have been saved. The way things had gone down was better, but Ritsuko still felt a bit insulted about being given the cold shoulder for simply for doing her job.

In the end, she let Maya do the debriefing. She simply stood in a corner and watched. Maybe once everyone had cooled down again, then she would be able to do her job again. If by then she still wanted to.

Rei and Asuka were stable; compared to the last test their synch-rates had all slightly increased, but not by much. Meanwhile Shinji was slowly but surely catching up to Asuka. It looked like a head to head race would soon start. Then Maya turned towards the newer pilots. Touji was still oozing uneasiness in his plugsuit, whereas Kaworu was almost serene: Calm like Rei, but with an aura of confidence.

"Touji, I'm afraid your rate remained consistently low through-out the test," Maya told him. It sounded almost apologetic. "I know you have your reservations about these tests, but… they really are part of the job. Synchronization is what allows you to move and control your unit."

"Yeah, and feel it if it gets punched," Touji retorted. "Look, I could move my EVA just fine in the battle, right? What do I need more synch for?"

"Reaction times, you idiot!" Asuka exploded at him before Maya could answer. "Dodging a shot, raising a shield, in combat a tenth of a second can mean life or death!"

Touji looked glum. "Well, then at least I won't have to hear your bitching."

"Please, Touji, Soryu..." Maya intervened. She sounded a bit overwhelmed. "Let's all be calm, yes? Just do your duty, okay, Touji? Now, Kaworu. Your readings were, uh, interesting. But for a starter you have a rather high synch-rate! There wasn't much improvement to it during the test, but I'm sure we can work on that."

More like it stayed the exact same for an entire hour…

Kaworu smiled. "Your confidence is quite reassuring, Ms Ibuki. Thank you for that. Every living being should always strive to improve, isn't that so?"

Everyone looked at the strange, grey-haired boy now. Even Rei seemed to take an interest. Maya hesitated for a moment, and her voice was rather awkward when she replied. "I, uh… suppose that is the case, yes. Ah, well, it's a good attitude to have, in any case!" When nobody answered to that, she continued, "I think that will be all. I really wouldn't want to keep you here any longer. Sorry we're taking up so much of your time here, I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day!"

"What's left of it," Touji muttered. Ritsuko furrowed her brows. Spoiled brat.

Given those attitudes, it was of little surprise that Touji was leaving the room first, rushing towards the showers. Kaworu walked at a much more leisurely pace. And finally, Asuka, Shinji and Rei… they didn't seem to be in any hurry. Shinji leaned over close to Rei to ask or tell her something, something which caused Asuka to laugh and lay her hands on the shoulders of the other pilots. Why didn't we see this coming, how close they have become? It must have happened during Rei's and Asuka's synchronization training. Misato's stupid idea…

Finally, they turned to go. In doing so, Asuka's gaze fell on Ritsuko. She narrowed her eyes and shot a hostile glance at the scientist. Then she touched Rei's back to nudge her and Shinji forwards again.

So. I get thrown to the wolves and my replacement is suddenly the popular star of the pilot corps. It isn't enough that she has just Gendo's heart. By all rights, there should be no reason for Rei to establish close contacts with others. The clone girl knew what would soon happen, and knew what role she would have to play in it. She hence had to know that she was just a tool and that her purpose was at hand. Hope. She has gotten hope. And that after she has taken away mine. Ritsuko decided to keep that situation under observation. If she can take away my hope, maybe I can take away hers…

"How the hell did you even get access to these areas?" Misato muttered. "That goes even beyond my security clearance."

Kaji chuckled. "So, you shouldn't even be here?"

Misato felt conflicted. No, she really shouldn't be here. This wasn't part of her job. But Kaji had made her suspicious of NERV… and the information she had gotten this morning had made her suspicious of Kaji. So she was here, nearly three kilometres beneath the surface of the Earth, in a part of the Geofront that looked like a network of bunker tubes. It was hot, the air was rancid, and the light was dim – when the illumination worked at all. Many lamps were flickering.

She growled. "Just go ahead with whatever it is you're doing."

"That's the plan," Kaji told her with a smirk. "Don't be so stiff-necked. Above, everyone is busy with the synch-test. It's the perfect time to sneak down here. And after Thursday..."

"Thursday was a mistake," Misato said curtly. Inside, her heart thumped. This was turning out just like in college. Kaji was still like… like… Besides, she couldn't be sure if he was trustworthy.

That wiped away that smirk. "I see."

The two walked on through the lonely tubes with their barren walls and a general atmosphere of being caged. Neither of them spoke. Misato's hand touched her pocket. Everything was still in place. She would be able to go ahead with her plan.

After a few minutes, that silence became unbearable for her.

"There have been further attacks, you know?" she finally spoke up. "We weren't the first NERV personnel to be attacked by Yakuza."

"I heard," Kaji answered. "Though probably from other sources than you."

"I talked to Major Matsuno of Section 2," Misato reported. "Yakuza thugs have been roughing up NERV personnel all over town. Or the bad parts of it, anyway. Nothing bad, just some bruises and black eyes. But it seems they're picking a fight with us."

"I suppose there will soon be a security advisory for NERV personnel not to visit pachinko parlors and those kinds of bars anymore?" Kaji guessed.

Misato made an agreeing sound. "And not brothels, either, for that matter. Hm. The Yakuza are clearly not trying to sabotage us or even really only harm us. This seems more like sending a message."

"It is," Kaji confirmed. "NERV is now plagued by its own arrogance."

"What do you mean by that?" Misato asked. "Argh. I hate it when you play your 'I know something you don't' game."

"You don't know in fact," Kaji stated authoritatively. "Because NERV didn't inform you. I assume you have read the dossiers on all your pilots?"

"Of course!" Misato answered.

"Yeah, well, nearly none of them are entirely correct," Kaji told her. "In Shinji's case it's just a detail, like the death of his mother, but with Rei and Kaworu I bet the whole thing is just made up. The only dossier that seems genuine is Asuka's."

"And what does that have to do with the Yakuza?" Misato demanded to know.

Kaji just smirked. Misato groaned.

The corridors the now passed were much more elegant and sleek. The walls were panelled here, with orange lamp stripes on them. Obviously, this section was in more frequent use. Finally they arrived at a very large, very well secured door at the end of one of the tubes. Kaji came to a halt and looked at with appreciation.

"And you can get us inside here?" Misato asked. Kaji smirked, drew an electronic card out of his shirt pocket… and then his face froze as he watched Misato draw her pistol and aim it at him. "It seems your friends at the Ministry of the Interior have done good work."

"...oops," Kaji merely said.

"You underestimated us," Misato told him. "You underestimated me. Did you really think a bit of kissing would keep me from doing my job? You seemed entirely too well informed at our little meeting. So yesterday, I made some inquiries of my own. Mentioned some of the stuff you said in a phone call with the Ministry. I got a call back today, and it mentioned you by name."

"Clever," Kaji granted. "I suppose it's no secret for NERV that the Department has tried to gain access for some time. I… wanted to keep you out of this, Katsuragi. But I really felt I had to warn you. Maybe that was a mistake."

"So, whom do you really work for?" Misato asked. "The Department? The U.N.? The Committee? Commander Ikari?" Kaji once again just smirked at that. That unnerved Misato. "Kaji, if you don't concentrate on just one job, you'll die."

"As long as Commander Ikari finds me useful, that won't happen," Kaji stated with certainty.

"The Department of the Interior isn't above cutting off loose ends, either," Misato cautioned him.

"I merely use their resources," Kaji defended himself. "NERV is hiding something from the world. I need to see it uncovered. I need to, do you understand? And the Commander and Ritsuko, they are hiding this from you."

"What do you mean?" Misato asked. "What is this about needing to know?"

"You know what topic drives me," Kaji told her bitterly. "And here is an answer to it… if you let me show it to you."

Misato hesitated for a moment, though she couldn't say why. This was what she had come for, after all. Maybe I'm still too much the good, little NERV soldier, even now. NERV had given her a new purpose in life, a position of authority, respect. And a chance to atone for past sins. But if the secret Kaji had mentioned really had to do with Second Impact… She nodded, but kept her pistol at the ready.

Kaji swept the card through a reading machine. The door opened slowly, its heavy steel making its way upwards and downwards. There was a sort of orange glow coming from whatever was behind it. Then the door was fully opened. Misato froze.

A vision of a white giant of light passed before her inner eye.

"That is… That's impossible!" she whispered. "Not here!"

There was a small heightened path that led from the door, surrounded by an orange liquid. At the far side of the room a huge red cross had been erected in that liquid, as large as an EVA. And on it, nailed to it by its hands, was a giant white creature, with a purple metal mask covering its face.

"Here." Kaji confirmed. "This is the source of everything since Second Impact. The cause of Second Impact. Adam."

"Adam..." Misato echoed. "The first angel. Here? At NERV? I thought… I thought..." She shook her head. "You're right. I trusted NERV too much."

"Can you believe that?" Asuka hissed.

She and three other pilots had just left the Geofront by foot, to go to a nearby train station. The eternal summer sun was shining down harshly on all of them, its hue already shifted to the orange of late afternoon. Asuka was glad to be finally free of that underground dungeon and to feel the fresh air. Wide jeans and a rather loose shirt made sure that she could enjoy it… and Shinji's gazes, which were not at all as discreet as he probably thought they were. Watching that was kinda fun.

Shinji followed Asuka's gaze. "Uh, believe what?"

"That's Touji there, isn't it?" Asuka told him. "And look who he has been waiting for."

Shinji strained his eyes. "Is that… the class rep?"

Asuka scoffed. "Such a reasonable girl, but such bad taste."

"I don't understand," an unnervingly calm voice spoke up. Asuka rolled her eyes. She had tried to get Shinji and Rei away fast enough not to be stuck with the creep, but they had dawdled. Worse yet, they didn't even seem to have a problem being stuck with Kaworu. "Why do you disapprove?"

"Because Hikari is far too good a girl for the meathead," Asuka told him.

"She has a different opinion," Kaworu answered. "Her s- …personality is quite different from yours. Even so, shouldn't you be happy that she is pursuing some happiness for herself?"

Oh, um Himmels Willen… does that guy even have the theoretical ability to speak normally? "That is exactly my concern," Asuka shot back. "Her happiness. Do you really think some idiot like him could take care of that?"

Kaworu shrugged, a flowing, elegant gesture on him. "I think it is very much possible. Human contact can only ever distract from the loneliness inside everyone's heart anyway. And I think those two can manage that."

Asuka groaned loudly at that pseudo-mystical bullshit. "You don't even know the two one bit! So stop this nonsense!"

Kaworu paused for a moment. "I am sorry if I have caused offence. You seem… agitated."

"Agitated?" Asuka echoed angrily. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Uh, well..." Shinji spoke up hesitantly. "Ever since we've left the Geofront you seem kinda… uh..."

"Your head is red," Rei simply observed.

Asuka jerked her head sidewards, to look away from these people. There was a good reason for that, and Rei should know it best. To be precise, Asuka was flustered, and that for a good reason. Ever since she had come to Tokyo-3 she had shared the showers with Rei, of course. But today the blue-haired girl had openly looked up and down her body with an admiring gaze. She hadn't even tried to hide it. And given that, how could Asuka not have looked back just a bit? Rei had even commented that it was a pity the showers were gender-segregated… and while Asuka had protested that surely she wouldn't want to be ogled by the creep or the stooge, how could she not have begun imagining what it would have been like to have Shinji in the shower?

And while Rei appeared entirely calm, Asuka just kept thinking about that episode. She tried to distract herself with other stuff, but… phew. It wasn't quite correct to say she felt uncomfortable. Rather… well, flustered.

Asuka was uncharacteristically quiet as she and the others boarded the train.

Kaworu entered right after her. He had halted for a moment to look down… at the train's wheels? It seemed he was odd like this sometimes, staring at mundane things. A bit like Rei in her current state, actually, but of course not a tenth as adorable. That behaviour didn't go unnoticed by Shinji, either.

"Uh, Nagisa, what were you looking at there?" Shinji asked.

Kaworu smiled at him. "You can call me Kaworu, Ikari. You all can. We're all part of the chosen."

That seemed to catch Shinji by surprise. He didn't seem averse to it at all, though. "Ah, then you really should call me Shinji."

Asuka snorted. At least Kaworu was reasonable on this point. Wait. Isn't he supposed to be from Germany? Shouldn't calling other teenagers by first name be standard for him? Maybe that was in fact why he made this offer, and he was just needlessly polite, in contrast to her. In any case, it was a good suggestion. It just grated her how enthusiastic Shinji was about it.

"Very well," she said, "let's all drop this addressing by family name nonsense here, shall we?"

Rei nodded, and Kaworu answered, "Fine by me. To answer your question, Shinji, I was looking at the train's mechanisms, as much as was visible. Humans don't change themselves. They're in fact quite bad at coping with any change afflicting them. They go to great lengths to change their environment instead."

"Fire. Tools. Agriculture. Cities," Rei spoke up, and after a pause, "Evangelions."

"Exactly," Kaworu agreed. "But fire is easy to make. A single person can do it. The engine of a train must be made out of several parts, which must be produced by tools that themselves need to be constructed, the production powered by a plant and energy grid that also needs to be there… every such product is an achievement of human culture as a whole."

Asuka scoffed. "Which means if we lose any of those parts, everything will just break down."

"Everything beautiful is fragile," Kaworu opined. "But I think you give your culture too little credit. It can be quite robust. Has not life gone on here despite all the angel attacks? And has not civilization come back from the brink of collapse in a mere fifteen years?"

"Only if you just look at Japan and Germany," Asuka argued. She didn't even know herself why she was taking this position. Hadn't she recently said much the same thing about cities as Kaworu was saying now? Maybe she just wanted to oppose him. Or maybe she was just in the mood for a destructive opinion. "And Tokyo-3 could never go on if there weren't a whole outside world unaffected by the attacks."

"I suppose those are points to consider," Kaworu conceded. He looked genuinely thoughtful about that.

Asuka's dislike for him grew. It wasn't just the nonsense he spewed. It was also how Shinji seemed to hang onto his every word. Come on, idiot! You should be more intelligent than to fall for that nonsense! Rei as well seemed to be interested in Kaworu. The way she looked oddly at him, with a quiet curiosity that seemed to be aimed at himself rather than his words… That left a very bad feeling in Asuka. After all, she was very aware that Rei could appreciate both boys and girls. Which led to another terrible thought: As she should really know best, she shouldn't make any default assumptions about Shinji. What if the same was also true of him?

Asuka felt a tight grip around her heart. Those two wouldn't abandon her as everyone else had, right? She should know better than that, and they were better than that. Right? But she couldn't suppress a certain anxiety. She had pretty much aligned her whole life in Japan with those two. Without them, she'd have… well, her status as EVA pilot. But it would still be a lonely, frustrating stay here.

It briefly occurred to her how ridiculous this was. She was jealous… regarding two people at once? So, what did she want regarding those people in the end, anyway? To not have them leave… neither of them. Which was the reason her relationship, such as it was, with Shinji had gone cold. She didn't want to exclude Rei. But what's the alternative?

She was still caught in those dark thoughts when the train stopped at at the next station. She barely noticed it. She did however notice when a bright voice chimed, "Oh, hello there!"

Asuka looked up… and saw a cheery face framed by coppery hair directly in front of her. When it rains, it pours.

"Where are you all coming from?" Mana asked. She was standing in front of the bench where all four of them were sitting, holding a hand grip and bending slightly forwards.

"The Geofront," Asuka answered curtly.

"Deep down the earth?" Mana asked in a cliché 'curious cute schoolgirl' voice. Urgh. "What have you been doing there?"

"Synch-tests," Rei answered blankly.

"Synch-tests?" Mana echoed.

"You know… how we connect to our Evangelions," Shinji explained. "That's something that needs to be trained."

"Oh," Mana voiced. "So it seems piloting is not only dangerous, but also a lot of work."

"You could say so," Asuka said coldly. "Why are you so nosy about all of this, anyway?"

"Ah… that wasn't my intent, honestly!" Mana apologized. "I'm sorry if it came across as such. I was just… curious. Being a pilot… it must be so different."

Shinji just snorted at that. Asuka furrowed her brows at him. As annoying as Mana was, she was right about that much. Being pilots made them special.

"There is honour in being one of the chosen ones," Kaworu answered. "The tests are part of that. But they are considerably less grandiose."

"One hour of lying in a test plug, doing absolutely nothing," Shinji muttered.

"Part of the job!" Asuka scoffed.

"Today was odd," Rei spoke up softly. Since this happened so rarely, she got everyone's attention, which finally prompted her to go on, "I usually find the tests relaxing. Today was not. I had the urge to do something, but couldn't. Yet I didn't even know what I wanted to do."

Asuka laughed. "Boredom! You were bored. Another first for you?" Rei seemed to consider that, then nodded shortly. Mana seemed to want to comment on it. Shit, shouldn't have talked so much. So Asuka cut her off, "What about you, Mana? Where are you coming from?"

"From home," Mana answered. "I wanted to go to the city before it gets dark. See some shops."

"Bit late for that, isn't it?" Asuka commented.

"I had lots of homework to catch up on!" Mana defended herself. "And now I want to see the city. I'm sure I haven't explored everything yet."

Idea! "So the city is still new territory for you to explore?" Asuka asked, now surprisingly conciliatory.

Mana giggled. "I suppose you could say so. And I'd hate to get used to it too quickly. I like being able to explore stuff."

"Well, you're new here as well, aren't you, Kaworu?" Asuka asked her fellow pilot.

"Quite a bit newer than Kirishima, I think," Kaworu commented.

"Why don't you show him the city a bit, Mana?" Asuka suggested. "You want to explore it anyway. And you know first hand what newcomers need to know here."

Mana stopped short for a moment, but then her face lit up. "Oh, that sounds like a wonderful idea, Asuka! But why just us two? I'm sure you all had a long day, but there are spots in the city where we could relax together."

"Well..." Shinji began.

No, Shinji! "I think we can do that better at home," Asuka cut in.

Mana couldn't hide a disappointed face. Disappointed and… flinching? Just a bit.

Kaworu smiled directly at her. "If that is what you want, I would be happy to accompany you."

Mana smiled again. That was fast… "Great! I'm glad I won't be alone." She giggled.

And Asuka grinned. Two more stations, and she would be rid of both the creep and the walking cliché. And she would have… well, she would have Rei and Shinji all for herself.

The door to the bedroom opened. Misato groaned and drew the blanket over her head. It was Sunday, and way too early to wake up now.

"Let me sleep, Shinji, will you?"

"Shinji will. I, on the other hand..."

Beneath her blanket, Misato groaned again, now loudly and dramatically. Memories were returning to her. She had been shaken after seeing Adam again… again after fifteen years. And even while she had continued her work in her office in the Geofront, a room that looked barely better than her apartment before Shinji had moved in, she hadn't been able to shake off the thought that the First Angel, the being which had devastated the world and taken her father from her, was right now right beneath her feet.

So she had gladly accepted Kaji's offer to go out for some drinks after work. She had needed the distraction, and this time they had gone to a far more high class bar. And then, as the phrase went, one thing had led to another. Now Misato was here, fully unclothed in Kaji's futon. Fuck. She still distrusted Kaji, but at the same time… she hardly trusted anyone more. One couldn't rely on his good intentions, but Misato could rely on him understanding and accepting her. Even when they maybe were working against each other. That was why she had latched on to his offer.

And that was why, back then, she had fled. This intimacy had become frightening.

"You, on the other hand, have no tact," Misato accused Kaji, still from beneath the blanket. "Let a woman sleep, will you?"

"Come on, don't sleep in too long or you'll have trouble getting up tomorrow," Kaji argued. "I know you have an early shift tomorrow."

"Of course you'd know," Misato muttered. Her head peeked out from under the blanket. "Let me get dressed, will you?"

Kaji grinned. He was already dressed. "Now why would I want to do that?" He picked something up off the ground. Misato pushed back more of the blanket to see what it was… her clothes. Then he left the room.

"Hey!" Misato complained. She jumped up from the futon. "Give that back, Kaji!"

She had little choice but to chase Kaji without her clothes. The chase ended in the kitchen. It took some time until Misato was clothed again and the two could sit down for breakfast. They had had better things to do before.

But this didn't leave endorphines in Misato's body as could be expected. Rather, she was subdued now. This had been fun. And it had been with Kaji. In fact, it had been rather like back in college. When…

She didn't quite know what had come over her, but it was something that had to be said. "Kaji..."

The man looked up from his coffee mug. "Hm?"

"It's just… I'm sorry that I broke up with you, back in college," Misato told him.

"As I remember, you weren't in college much longer afterwards," Kaji answered. Taking it lightly, as so often. But it was true; shortly afterwards Misato had signed up with the JSSDF. Running away… "What brought this on?"

"What do you think?" Misato whispered. "Being here with you again… it made me realize… You were so much like my father, Kaji." She looked at him, but his face was now set in stone. "When I realized that I wanted a man like my father, I was scared. I was so afraid. Being with you… being a woman… everything scared me. I hated my father, but fell in love with someone just like him. So I ran. I ran to the JSSDF. I ran to South America to fight there. I once again broke everything off and ran to NERV. I swore vengeance upon the angels, but that was just running away from my feelings, burying them..." She breathed out heavily.

After a while, Kaji answered calmly. "And you still blame yourself for what you did back in college?"

"It was cowardly," Misato declared. Suddenly this sullen mood had come over her, that pent-up guilt released by the close contact with Kaji. She now couldn't not talk about this.

Kaji shook his head. "It was your decision, Katsuragi. There is nothing to be sorry about."

Misato scoffed. "That wasn't a decision! I was just trying to escape from reality. From the reality called Father…" She noticed how her vision got blurry. "I'm just a coward. Even… even Shinji is staying now, knowing why it's necessary. And me… me, I've always run."

"That's enough," Kaji declared harshly.

"I have no right to tell him anything, and yet here I am… just a child myself," Misato chastised herself. Tears were now flowing down her face.

"Katsuragi!" Kaji almost shouted now. Misato looked up, silently, without understanding. "You told Shinji he can go any time, didn't you? That it is his choice. That he could stay with you, even if he doesn't pilot. Didn't you?" Misato just nodded. "It is his choice. Nobody can blame him for how he chooses, or it wouldn't actually be his choice. And back then, it was your choice. Nobody can blame you for how you have chosen, otherwise it wouldn't actually have been your choice. And I'm not about to impose choices on you!"

"Okay, so I chose," Misato conceded, angry at herself, "but it was a pathetic choice. A choice born out of fear. I am pathetic!"

"Stop it!" Kaji demanded.

"Why do you even care?" Misato almost shrieked.

"Because… because I won't let a good person be slandered," Kaji answered with determination. "A resourceful, clever, fun, interesting person. A person I happen to care about. I won't allow her to be slandered. Not even by herself."

"But..." Misato began to protest.

"You blame yourself from running away? Running away from me?" Kaji asked in a hard voice. He stood up and walked around the table, up to her chair. Then his trademark grin appeared on his face. "Well, seems to me you have stopped running. And that's what counts." He bent over to kiss her. She didn't resist.

Was that it? Had she already stopped running? Was it that easy? Misato doubted it, but right now she didn't want to look at it too closely. In the past two days she had conspired with Kaji, slept with him, threatened him with a gun, gone out with him. This rather seemed like turning the run into a complex dance. Could she really trust Kaji, just like that? Could she trust herself?

But she didn't break off the kiss.

It was Kaji who ended it. "Convinced yet that you have stopped running?"

Misato remained silent for a while, with Kaji standing at her side. "I'm not sure that makes it better," she finally whispered.

"What do you mean?" Kaji asked.

"I run to get away from troubles… and if I stand, I only create more trouble," Misato explained. "I came here with you to… we both knew what would happen. Nevermind that Shinji is at home, that I left him behind there."

"He can take care of himself," Kaji told her. "Doesn't he cook most of the time, anyway?"

Misato shook her head. "That's not what I meant. I should look after him. It's bad enough that I go here to… to… but that's my business. I shouldn't let Shinji walk down a similar path. Or Asuka, or Rei."

Now Kaji seemed to understand. He laughed softly. "You think Shinji will sneak over to the girls? Come on, Katsuragi, he's much too straight-laced for that."

"He already has, once," Misato told him. As she was calming down from her crying attack, it was good to talk about something else. Anything else. "They all ended up sleeping in the same futon."

That took Kaji aback. Despite her situation, Misato had to chuckle, even though it still sounded somewhat sad. She hadn't seen Kaji surprised in years. The guy always seemed to be prepared for everything.

His face relaxed into a typical, broad smirk again. "So, whom do you think he'll pick?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that," Misato mused. She breathed out, shedding some more of the turmoil that had built up inside her. "After Sandalphon… I think Shinji might have collapsed if he hadn't had Rei as support. And she had never opened up to anyone this much before. As for Asuka and Shinji, well, you've seen it. And both were devastated when they thought Rei was dead. In fact, I also think Asuka… appreciates Rei."

Kaji almost jumped back. "Asuka? The Asuka we both had as ward? Are you sure about that?"

Now Misato truly had to laugh. "Is that so shocking to you, Kaji?"

"I just…" Kaji rubbed the back of his head. "I wouldn't have thought that. I mean, Asuka was never exactly the most proper of girls, but..."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Misato asked with a certain annoyance in her voice.

Kaji shrugged. "Well, I suppose it isn't my business anymore. So… what's going on with the three then?"

"To be honest, I don't think even they know," Misato told him. "But still, that means the fallout if something goes wrong while I'm away, because I needed to get laid," she sounded cynical, "will be twice as grave."

Kaji chuckled. "What are you afraid of? That he might dishonour the girls? I seriously doubt Asuka would see it that way." Misato just remained silent at that. Kaji was probably right, but that didn't make it a good thing. Sometimes Misato thought she just couldn't connect to Asuka. It was all good and well to tease her about relationships, but the prospect of her actually entering and enjoying one… Some part of Misato did think in old-fashioned terms of innocence and purity. That part she had always rebelled against. Kaji continued, "Besides, as I've said, you're giving Shinji too little credit. Or too much, as the case may be. He would never go on such… adventures while you forbid it."

"And yet, maybe he'd deserve them," Misato whispered.

"So would Asuka," Kaji reminded her. When there was no answer, he sighed. "Well, there's still business I need to take care of. Even on a Sunday morning… not that it isn't really morning anymore. You can stay here, if you want. But I really need to go."

"Now?" That seemed cold to Misato.

He grinned at her. "Duty calls."

Ritsuko was alone in a dimly lit room. The only source of light came from an object that nearly fully encircled her: A giant tank of LCL. Inside, there were dozens of bodies, all looking like Rei. All of them were Rei, after a fashion. Dozens of mindless objects giggling and looking at her. Showing autonomous reactions, but not actually possessing a soul. Instruments of Ritsuko's work, nothing more.

Ritsuko hated them.

Or maybe not them, but Rei. Yes, it was unfair. Yes, it was not Rei's fault for how obsessed Gendo was with her. But Rei should never have been more than a tool – a thing. A thing Ritsuko had worked on the past ten years. And now even that thing beat her for Gendo's affections. Worse yet, she had been forced to go through… what had happened, in order to save that thing. Wouldn't it make sense then for Rei to feel the pain she had felt? Rei wasn't guilty, no, Ritsuko realized that. But it should have been her going through that all.

Ritsuko breathed out.

She could destroy the clones, of course. There would be a certain poetic justice in that. She would be killing Rei several dozens of times over, and she would be sabotaging one of Gendo's most important tools. There would be no dummy plug without the clones, no soul transfers, possibly no endgame. It was tempting. That way, she could hit both of them, and it would be such an easy thing for her to do. But that was just the issue: It would be too easy.

If she destroyed all the dummy plugs now, then this would mean the end for Rei. Without spare parts, without reference points for Ritsuko's medical checks, Rei would literally fall apart. And that wasn't what Ritsuko wanted. She didn't care if the tool were rendered inoperative. What she wanted was for Rei to go through the same pain as herself, an equivalent amount of pain, because it should have been Rei in the first place.

And if that meant Ritsuko had to bide her time and wait for her chance, then so be it.

With that decision made, Ritsuko left the dummy plug room. It was just one of many creepy places here, in the lowest bowels of the Geofront, below even Terminal Dogma. The chaotic place for NERV's dirty secrets and its old trash of over a decade. A junk room of enigmas and atrocities. Or in other words, one of Ritsuko's regular places of work.

She moved through its corridors, thinking ahead what else she had to do today. The worst part of it would surely be the planned medical check up of Rei. That… would hurt. But Ritsuko was a professional, she could do it. She was mentally going through the list of tests to apply when she noticed movement in front of her. And that was something that absolutely shouldn't happen in this part of the Geofront.

She sped up her steps, looking left and right for the source. She turned her eyes left again… and found a person trying to stand as far in a corner as possible. A person she knew.

She stopped. "Kaji, what are you doing here?"

Ryoji Kaji walked out of the shadow. "Fancy seeing you here, Rits."

Ritsuko scoffed. "This area is strictly off limits to just about everyone. You have no business here!"

"And neither do you," Kaji replied. "If I'm not mistaken, your official schedule doesn't actually take you here. And your use of the elevator surely was registered. So people may wonder what you have been doing here."

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, that's it? You're slipping, Kaji." She actually was a bit amused. In a way, that was like their old games… just with significantly higher stakes now. "I'm the head of Section 3, Science, at NERV HQ. At any time, I could cite a dozen reasons for me to come down here."

Kaji tilted his head to signal a concession. "Granted, you could convince the Commander and the Vice Commander that way. But what if I tell Katsuragi that you have been sneaking around here? What you may be doing down here?"

"Misato?" Ritsuko reacted with some shock. "Keep her out of this!" Ritsuko knew she probably had lost Misato for good, but there was this last shimmer of hope for things to get better again between them that she didn't want to lose as well.

"That was my plan," Kaji told her. "So I'll make you a deal: I won't tell Katsuragi anything. You won't tell Ikari or Fuyutsuki anything. Deal?"

Ritsuko looked straight at him and remained silent to think. She should report his presence here. Kaji was dabbling in dangerous matters. But then again, there was no way this could remain going well for long. If that idiot wanted to get himself killed… then Ritsuko would actually be sad. She would mourn him. But he just seemed to be a lost cause. There was no stopping him, anyway, so why should she get involved?

"Deal," she answered.