Rei was slowly coming around to video games. At first, she hadn't understood the principle. She had called the games too abstract to make a good training simulation. Then, she had tried them, but as a complete novice of course hadn't been very good at them. Normally, for Asuka, that would have been no reason at all to go easy on her, but Rei…

...Asuka had always had an incredibly soft spot for Rei.

The blue-haired girl had become quite good on her own, though, especially in fighting games. Asuka would still win four out of five games on Tekken, but she wasn't invincible anymore. What dismayed her was how Rei defeated her now and then. Asuka was, on principle, always going for the tanky characters. It was unsubtle, yeah, but she made it work. Rei, though, went for the light and graceful characters. The ones people claimed "required more skill". It felt like a slight vindication of those people whenever Rei won.

It could have made Asuka angry. But now and then when Rei won her lips curled upwards, and it was the cutest thing to see. Not that this would stop Asuka from always trying to win, but it made it bearable whenever she didn't.

Right now, their gaming session was a bit unusual, though. More pleasant, but in a melancholic way. They were sitting on pillows on the ground, in front of the TV, close to each other… but still with Shinji squeezed in between them. Currently, the boy was nestled under Rei's arm, just leaning his head on his shoulder and watching the game. A few minutes ago he had been cuddled up to Asuka.

Not only did Asuka not mind, she was glad to be able to help him. Normally, this would even have been enjoyable – her and Rei so close, and Shinji cuddled up to them. But it was sad that Shinji needed that, or rather, the reason for that need. Whatever the angel, which NERV apparently now was calling 'Arael', had done to him, it had messed him up good. He was deathly afraid now everyone would leave him. Only constant physical contact could convince him otherwise.

His mind. The angel has entered his mind. Has… violated his mind. When Asuka had first come to Japan, she had envisioned glorious and ultimately victorious battles against the angels. Wild brawls in which she would have the upper hand. After all, that was what NERV had trained her for, wasn't it? Physical combat. But it turned out NERV had lied to her. The angels were fare more insidious than that. Bardiel had nearly made them lose Rei and now Arael… Mind rape. That's what it is. NERV is sending us out against beings that would rape our minds.

All three had spent the night in the same futon, of course, this time with Shinji in the middle. He had shaken and cried, and they had held him. Asuka just wished… Asuka just wished she could help him. She knew she already was by simply not leaving him, but it pained her to see Shinji like this. Gentle, soft Shinji, who already was caving under the burden put on his shoulders as it was. The nicest boy she had ever met, and how was the world repaying him?

So if constant physical contact was what Shinji needed, Asuka and Rei would give it to him. It wasn't like that was really a burden on Asuka, and she doubted it was one on Rei, either. The two looked so… peaceful together. So adorable. So… Asuka didn't have the right words. To see them both, well, maybe not happy, but content in each other's presence, bringing each other peace. Asuka thought it odd she was thinking so. Shouldn't she be jealous of the two?

She had been jealous, when the whole crisis with Shinji and Mana had happened. She had been jealous of the giggling airhead and still didn't like her. But it seemed she just couldn't get jealous of Shinji and Rei. When they caused each other to smile, then that was… good. The two looked good together.

"You won!"

Asuka's attention snapped back to the TV screen. Her character lay beaten on the ground, Rei's was doing a victory animation. She jerked her head around to look at the blue-haired girl… but Rei's attention was now entirely on Shinji, giving him a faint, comforting smile.

Then she looked at Asuka. "Another round?" she asked softly.

"I'm sorry," Shinji muttered into her neck.

Rei looked down at him. "What for?"

"Well… it's not like you two can do much," Shinji muttered an explanation. "Not with me around. With you needing to take care of me as if… Sorry. I can't even prepare food for you..."

"You have for the past months," Rei simply told him. "Now it's our turn."

It was blunt, but it seemed to quieten Shinji at least for now. That was Rei's nature. She never pretended to care. She genuinely did, and she told people how she felt. One didn't have to guess with her. And that was comforting in its own way.

The doorbell rang. Asuka and Rei looked at each other. The redhead got up on her feet. "I'll go see who it is." As much as Shinji needed the contact… it wouldn't do if people were seeing it.

So Asuka opened the door only slowly and carefully. It was Misato standing behind it. Her face was the same stony, emotionless mask she so often wore during missions. She has a key to this apartment, Asuka realized.

"Can you let me in, please, Asuka?" Misato asked.

The girl merely nodded, opened the door and stepped aside. For all her faults, Misato could be trusted… or at least, could be trusted to be on their side. She had proven that after the battle. That didn't mean Asuka liked her right now. Not after everything that had happened.

The two entered the kitchen. "I was wondering how Shinji is doing," Misato stated.

"He got his mind violated," Asuka answered, suppressed aggressiveness in her voice. "How do you think he's doing?"

Misato looked down. "I know. But… is he getting better?"

"Yes," Asuka answered. She felt slightly sorry for the outburst. After all, Misato had in fact helped them after the battle. But the whole situation was getting to her. She continued more softly, "He isn't doing well, but he's… stable. I think we can help him."

Misato nodded and walked over into the living room. She looked at Shinji, who, seemingly oblivious to the new arrival, still simply sat leaning against Rei. She didn't comment on it. After a while, she spoke up, "Shinji?"

Very slowly the boy lifted his head from Rei's shoulder and looked around. "Mi… Misato?"

Again, the Major nodded. "Are you feeling better?"

"I… I don't know," Shinji answered. He sounded utterly defeated.

"You should come home," Misato said softly. "I can get us something nice to eat." For a short moment it seemed like Shinji would panic, until Misato added, "Rei and Asuka can come as well, of course."

"I… uh..." Shinji looked at Rei, her face right next to his, then to Asuka. He seemed very unsure.

"And then?" Asuka asked.

"And then what?" Misato asked in turn.

"Will we just eat there, or are you coming to 'bring him home'?" Asuka inquired. She sounded tense. It made a certain amount of sense Misato would do so, but she didn't like the prospect.

"I'm his guardian," Misato told her, softly but firmly. "I need to make sure he is okay. That he is recovering."

"I understand," Shinji almost whispered. He visibly tensed, and Rei tightened her half-hug around him.

Asuka walked over to him and knelt down besides him. "Shinji… is that what you want? You can stay here with us as long as you like."

"I… I'd just be a bother," Shinji muttered.

"You aren't," Rei whispered to him from the other side.

"Tell me, Shinji," Asuka prompted him. "Would you rather go with Misato or stay here?"

Shinji looked down onto the ground. His answer sounded ashamed and was barely audible, but it was enough for Asuka. She stood up again and turned towards Misato.

"I'm grateful that you two looked after him," Misato told her as soon as she had her attention again. "Truly, I am. I am in your debt. But… do you want to make this permanent?"

Asuka crossed her arms. If need be, she would fight for him. "Yes," she simply stated.

That took Misato aback. "What?"

"Unless he says otherwise, Shinji will stay here," Asuka told her. "With us."

Misato sighed. "I get that you're concerned, Asuka, but..."

"Look, I know you're concerned as well," Asuka conceded. "And… yeah, okay, that's good. But… what do you want to do? After everything that has happened to him, drag him away from here kicking and screaming? You think that will help him?"

She looked over her shoulder at Shinji again. He was still a ball of misery that even under Rei's care seemed to have withdrawn entirely into itself. She doubted he could kick and scream, actually. He would most likely just collapse and think everyone had left him. No, no, no!

"I need to make sure he gets the proper care and… " Misato began.

Asuka laid an arm around her stomach and semi-pushed her towards the kitchen. "Come with me. We need to talk."

Once there, Misato asked, "What's the matter, Asuka?" Her voice was subdued. She had apparently correctly guessed why Asuka had guided her to here.

Asuka worked her teeth. This would be difficult. And she wasn't sure she had any right to tell Misato this. But she had to convince the Major. "Look..." she began, her own voice just as low. She breathed out. "What do you think would happen if you take Shinji back to your apartment?"

"Well, I think..." Misato began.

But Asuka didn't wait for an answer. "I'll tell you what will happen. He will wait until night. He will then go onto your balcony. And then he will try to climb over the railing. Again."

Misato breathed in sharply and stumbled two steps back. "A… gain?"

Asuka looked down. "I… wasn't there. He told me afterwards. Apparently, Ibuki had pulled him away from there. Look, I'm sorry, Misato. I didn't mean to…" She frustratedly fumbled for words. "But I can't allow this to happen again! If Shinji dies..." She couldn't bring herself to end that sentence.

"I… understand..." Misato replied. She still sounded utterly shocked. She turned on the spot, and walked over to the living room again. "Hey, Shinji? If you want… you can stay here as long as you like." There was an awkward silence as Shinji didn't answer to this. Didn't even seem to acknowledge Misato had said anything at all. "And… Rei? The Commander wants to speak to you at 18. I can drive you to HQ. You can ring my doorbell a quarter of an hour before that."

"Understood, Major," the girl answered softly. And after a pause, "Thank you."

Misato just nodded, turned around, and left the apartment with large steps.

For a decade, Commander Ikari had been the only point of light in Rei's life.

She would sit in her room deep in the bowels of the Geofront for a week at a time, and only his brief visits would brighten her mood. Throughout the years, he would remain her only social contact. Only his Scenario gave any purpose to her existence. Only by doing as he told her, by piloting EVA and standing ready to return all souls to their source, could she connect with humanity at all. She had never had anything else, and she had never had anybody else.

Commander Ikari had always been associated with fond memories and good moments. One reason she had always followed him without question.

Another reason, though, had been Rei's years-long passivity. For six years, she hadn't been fully there. Or rather, hadn't been fully there in one place. The part of her soul within her second body, torn asunder from the rest, had just accepted whatever had come its way. Had accepted being kept in a dirty, barely lit room in the Geofront. Had accepted being used for activation tests and piloting and the dummy plug, despite all the pain and indignities. It had never been something bad, just… that what was. The few, scarce times that painful monotony had been interrupted, like when the Commander visited her, had been good, but she never had a problem with the rest.

And even now, she didn't know any better than to follow the Scenario… at least in principle. She had no intentions to get off the tracks of the Scenario. She literally didn't know any better than to follow them. However, that increasingly began to annoy her. In her second body, she had had no problem with seeing herself as nothing more than a tool. But now, part of her rebelled against that thought. Part of her was infuriated that others had made her a tool.

And in any case, even while she was maybe still following the Scenario, her world now consisted of more than just that. Even if soon she would recall all souls to their source, that was no reason not to receive and give joy. Rei had Asuka and Shinji now. It was still unclear what they were, but in a way, it didn't matter: Rei loved them, both of them. Shinji had looked so afraid when she had gone. But Rei was reassured that Asuka was now taking care of him.

These attachments were also a danger, though. The Commander could end this with a single word. If he made it an order… what else could Rei do but obey?

He mustn't know.

That thought formed as Rei stood several metres in front of the Commander's desk. It was a new thought. Before, Rei would never have dreamed of intentionally withholding information from him. But then… it wouldn't affect the Scenario, now would it? Even if it was his Scenario. Rei would still fulfill her role. But she would also love and be loved in the meantime, even if it meant keeping the Commander in the dark about that.

"Rei," he spoke up in his raspy voice. "How are you feeling?"

Asuka or Shinji would have meant her emotional well-being, what she was thinking or feeling in general, or whatever else Rei might have wanted to tell them. But the Commander only cared about functionality. "I am alright," Rei answered.

"There have been irregularities in your recent behaviour," Ikari told her.

"I see," Rei merely replied. That was probably the best strategy: To answer like she would have had in her second body. And indeed, that was what still came easiest to her.

"You disobeyed an order from Dr Akagi and Major Katsuragi," Ikari observed.

"Yes," Rei merely confirmed.

"Why?" Ikari asked.

"Everyone else did as well," Rei explained.

"Is that a reason to disobey orders?" Fuyutsuki spoke up now.

"If I hadn't, I would have been alienated," Rei answered. "Our sense of collegiality would have suffered."

"Is that why you joined this mutiny?" Ikari asked.

Rei nodded. "I judged esprit de corps to be more important than Dr Akagi's test."

"That's not your call to make!" Fuyutsuki snapped.

"Yes, sir," Rei answered.

"And is that the only reason?" Ikari asked.

Rei hesitated, but no longer than she would have had before her life-changing encounter with Leliel. "No."

"Did you also do it for the other pilots' sake?" Ikari asked.

"Yes," Rei answered. It would have been pointless to lie on that issue.

"Explain," Ikari ordered her.

"Ikari… the Third Child…" Rei began. "I don't want him to be depressed."

"That is the reason you accompanied him back from the graveyard?" Ikari asked. Rei just nodded. "How would you describe your relationship with him?"

"We are colleagues," Rei explained. "He saved my life."

"Ah," Ikari grunted. It was a short sound, but Rei knew what it meant. Ikari thought he had finally understood. Let him think that. "What about the Second Child? What is your relationship with her?"

"She is my flatmate," Rei answered. "I have become… used to her."

"Used to her?" Fuyutsuki inquired.

"I always follow a daily routine," Rei explained. "The Second Child has become part of it. It would confusing not to have her around anymore."

"Worrying, but predictable," Fuyutsuki muttered.

Ikari turned his head around and looked at him. "It doesn't yet sound like friendship. Her estimation of the Third Child is more problematic, even if it just hero worship." Then he turned his attention on Rei again. The blue-haired girl was used to it. People talking about her as if she weren't even there. Anger began to slowly cook inside her, but she suppressed it. Right now, that fact was convenient. "Rei. Why did you attack Dr Akagi?"

"I don't know," Rei answered.

"Explain," Ikari ordered her.

"Ever since Dr Akagi brought me back, I'm having sudden impulses," Rei explained. "Sometimes they are uncontrollable."

"Predictable as well," Fuyutsuki muttered.

"Impulses?" Ikari inquired.

"Sudden bouts of anger," Rei replied. "Impulses to lash out. They're sudden and unpredictable." Of course, ever since Leliel things weren't as bad anymore. The part of her that was in the EVA now truly was part of her again, and those 'impulses' part of her personality now, not something random and foreign compelling her to do things. But Ikari couldn't know that.

"Hm," Ikari grunted. "Those will stay around for a while. Maybe until the end."

"Understood," Rei answered.

"So what do we do now, Ikari?" Fuyutsuki inquired.

The Commander didn't look at him. "Rei. Those attachments to the Second and Third Children are dangerous. You only exist for one purpose: The Scenario."

"Yes," Rei confirmed. "Do those attachments threaten the Scenario?"

"They could make you turn away from your purpose," Ikari told her. "That is unacceptable."

"Understood," Rei answered.

"We should get her out of that apartment again," Fuyutsuki advised.

"Commander… Vice-Commander… I would like to stay in that apartment," Rei told them.

"Explain," Ikari ordered.

"The sudden bouts of anger are dangerous," Rei stated. "In fits of rage, I have already destroyed physical property at the apartment, and hurt myself. Soryu watches over me. If I lived alone again I could seriously injure myself."

"Hm," Ikari grunted. "That's a complication."

"If Rei becomes too damaged we can simply replace her," Fuyutsuki urged his superior.

"We still have that option," Ikari told him, without looking at him. "But it would be foolish to use it without need. For now, you can stay in that apartment, Rei. But you have to keep away from Soryu and my son. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," Rei answered.

"Good," Gendo judged. "One more thing before I dismiss you: The Second Child. You can tell her she is currently suspended as pilot of EVA-02, pending further deliberations as to what to do about her. She is to appear at synch-tests to maintain readiness, but for the time being won't be deployed."

"I will tell her," Rei confirmed.

"Good. Dismissed."

The office remained eerily quiet even minutes after Rei had left. Fuyutsuki thought Ikari could sit there all day and not move. He wondered why he did it. Certainly, Ikari didn't need to play up his oh so mysterious and dark aura around him anymore. Maybe it had just become second nature to him.

So eventually, Fuyutsuki spoke up. "If we lose Rei, we lose the Scenario." Ikari just grunted. "We need to keep her under better control."

"I underestimated the depth of the new experiences she would have, once outside the Geofront," Ikari admitted. "But for now, those experiences seem to still confuse her."

"But for how long? More than a third of the angels still remain," Fuyutsuki reminded him. "Enough time for her to come to grip with her new emotions and act on them."

Ikari remained silent for several seconds before answering. "This isn't a problem that can be solved." That much was true. Even if they killed Rei and readied a new clone, that clone would then have her memories. It would simply be a continuation of the problem. "We can only limit it and mitigate the effects. But that would require recalling Rei to the Geofront and keeping her under lockdown there. That would create additional problems."

"Such as?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"For the first time in years somebody has shown some interest in the Third Child," Ikari argued. "If we remove Rei from his life, he might rebel."

"Doubtful," Fuyutsuki judged. "In the incidents so far, he has merely followed the Second Child's lead. Besides, even if he rebels, he's only a reserve pilot now."

Ikari grunted. "We'll keep close watch on the situation. If Rei socializes too much with the other pilots, we'll recall her to the Geofront. So far, the situation isn't that dire, and it may not ever be."

"What about the Second Child?" Fuyutsuki asked. "She is another problem."

"A manageable one," Ikari declared. "She's a constant nuisance, but she doesn't threaten the Scenario."

"If an angel reaches Terminal Dogma, the scenario is over," Fuyustuki stated sternly. This got Ikari to look at him. "Soryu's rebelliousness threatens the entire defence effort against the angels. Quite frankly, use of EVA-02 isn't worth having her around."

"You want to fire her," Ikari concluded.

Fuyutsuki nodded. "We never really expected to have more than three units, anyway."

Ikari turned around again, looking straight ahead. His head sunk behind his hands again. He grunted. "But the Second Child doesn't act alone. The other pilots follow her lead, as you have said. If we fire her, we could lose more units than just EVA-02."

Fuyutsuki furrowed his brows. "So what do you suggest?"

"We need to wait," Ikari declared. "If we fire the Second Child, the Third and Fifth Child may well quit. Loss of two units would currently be less acceptable. We have to wait until it is."

"Ah," Fuyutsuki voiced. Now he understood the Commander's position.

"We have to wait until she is ready," Ikari continued. "Then we can deal with the Second Child once and for all. Then all options are open to us. For now, she will simply remain suspended."

Two days weren't enough to get Misato's apartment all dirty again. However, the first signs could already be seen: Clothes were left unattended on the ground in the living room. The packaging from ready or take-out meals remained behind on the kitchen table. Misato knew she should clean this up, especially if she wanted Shinji to return… but she just couldn't muster the motivation. What would be the sense of it all? Shinji was with the girls, and that was even for the best. She didn't deserve to have him around.

Suicide… I've driven him to a suicide attempt… True, Shinji already hadn't been the most sociable boy when he had arrived. But he had in fact had some strength. He had even countered her, a complete stranger who had just picked him up, with some sass. And what remained of that boy? After Misato had heartlessly sent him out into several battles? Just a meek, subdued boy who had attempted suicide. It was all her fault.

The angels need to be destroyed. That was a constant in Misato's thinking. But she realized that for this aim, she had used the children like they were nothing more than tools. And she couldn't even tell herself that she had done so for the sake of the Earth's defence. In truth, she had done so for revenge. And she had made children tools of her revenge, no matter what they had to suffer. Shinji and Asuka had already fallen unconscious in pain when Ramiel had boiled their LCL. Was it any wonder then that Shinji had tried to take his own life? And Misato hadn't even noticed it!

She had always closed her eyes before the truth. Had always made light of it. Always joked and teased. But the truth was she had raised up and utilized children. Children whom she had sent into life and death battles. She had sent them against whips, against being boiled alive, against mind rapes. Of course one of them would sooner or later attempt suicide. It was the logical choice to get out of this all. To get out of what Misato had obliged them to.

It is best if Shinji stays as far away from me as possible. Asuka as well. I deserve their hate. So what else could Misato do? She was just a pathetic, abhorrent woman who used children for her aim. Who drove children towards suicide. She could lead battles against the angels, but nothing more than that. And once the angels were defeated… she hoped she would get justice. Punishment. She would deserve that.

Her thoughts immediately ground to a halt when she heard something at the door. Someone was trying to open it. Instead of morose ruminations, now combat instincts took over. Misato ran to her room and grabbed the NERV pistol she had stored there. When she returned, she heard how the door was opened. She leaned against the wall separating the living room from the kitchen, breathed out, swung around…

...and aimed the pistol at the smirking face of one Ryouji Kaji.

"Kaji you goddamn idiot!" Misato cursed. "I could have killed you!"

"You're far too well trained for that," Kaji countered, still smirking. He stood in the kitchen in a relaxed position, a small bag in his right hand. "And your reflexes and aim are too good."

Misato had the weapon lowered already, but that didn't stop her from continuing to rant. "What the fuck were you thinking? What you've done here is breaking and entering. You've committed a crime! I could drag you to the police!"

Kaji shrugged nonchalantly. "As U.N. Inspector to NERV I'd be let go within the hour again, most likely."

That annoyed Misato further… probably his intended effect. "So you think your shiny ID card gives you the right to just break into homes everywhere?"

Kaji's grin got broader. "No. Just yours."

"You goddamn little..." Misato was too furious for words. "I should have just shot you on the spot!"

"Killing a U.N. Inspector?" Kaji commented, still with teasing voice. "Risky business."

"Oh, just shut up and tell me why you're here!" Misato shouted at him.

Kaji got serious now. "You didn't answer any calls, neither on your landline nor your NERV mobile phone. You weren't at NERV. You didn't react when I rang here."

"Maybe you should have taken the hint," Misato grumbled aggressively.

"Katsuragi… what's the matter?" Kaji looked around in the kitchen, his eyes falling on the left over takeout food bags and emptied ready meal containers. "What's…." He stopped.

Misato walked over to the kitchen table and put her pistol there. "Nothing that need concern you."

Kaji hesitated and then spoke softly, "It's the children, isn't it?"

Misato had placed her hands on the table and was leaning against it. Now they were getting weak. She sat down. "How could it not be?" she asked hoarsely. "Look at what happened to Shinji..."

"Why isn't he here?" Kaji asked.

Misato just shook her head. "It's better for him if he isn't." Now that Kaji was here… she trusted him. Trusted him to understand at least. So she continued talking. "I sent him into that battle, after all. Just like in all the ones before. Even though he never wanted to be pilot. He's only piloting because I insisted. He got his mind taken apart because of me, ultimately."

Kaji sat down opposite of her, laying his bag on the table. He looked at her intensely. "There were reasons for what you did."

Misato scoffed. "The angels, yeah. But..." Again she shook her head. "Look, maybe we do need those children. Maybe I do need to send them into battle. But did I need to be an utter ass about it? Now Asuka probably hates me, and she has good reason to."

"Shinji is with her?" Kaji asked.

"And Rei," Misato confirmed. "None of them have talked with me since Tuesday, since..."

"I see," Kaji just stated.

"And you know, that goddamn test really wasn't necessary for them piloting," Misato went on. "Asuka was right about that. So… what happened to Shinji might have happened regardless. Someone needs to pilots the EVAs, and someone needs to send the pilots into battle. But I… I behaved like an asshole about that. Instead of then showing respect and gratitude to those pilots, the pilots I send into life and death battles, or to stand up to others on their behalf, I just had to make fun of them as well!"

"But surely... what you did maybe wasn't okay, but still not very important," Kaji tried to argue. "Shinji's state..."

"Don't you see?" Misato interrupted him. "The problem is that such things happen to the pilots, that I send them out to face such things, and then don't even properly support or respect them! It's pathetic!"

"You still can, you know," Kaji told her softly.

"What do you mean?" Misato snapped. What could possibly still be there for me to do?

"The current state of affairs can't go on forever," Kaji predicted. "The relationship between NERV command and the pilots is in tatters. What Asuka has told me… but that can't stay that way. NERV needs the pilots to defend the world from angels. And the pilots needs NERV to defend the world, and thus ensure their own survival as well. Eventually, the two sides will have to come to an understanding. And you can be on the pilots' side then."

"That's rather little and a bit late, isn't it?" Misato argued.

"But it's something you can do," Kaji argued back. "The pilots won't be helped by you moping around here. But they will be helped if from now on you do speak on their behalf and do stand up for them to others." He smirked a bit. "And if you don't make them the butt of your jokes anymore, maybe."

For a long time, Misato was silent. Kaji didn't push her for an answer. Finally, she said, "It might still be too late. The kids have already fought nine angels, without me ever showing the proper gratitude or respect towards them. So starting now might still be too late to earn back their favour. But then… maybe I don't deserve their favour. What matters now… what I can still do… is to make up for at least a bit of my previous behaviour. And that is what counts, regardless of how the children may react."

Kaji smiled. It was a surprisingly warm smile on the rogueish man. "I'm glad you understand that point." He hesitated. "Sometimes, a certain guilt can haunt one their entire life. There is nothing then people can do. But I don't think you're that far gone, Katsuragi. And in any case, all people can do is to start changing now, once they have realized their mistakes."

Misato smiled weakly and sadly. "I wouldn't have taken you of all people for a philosopher."

"Oh no," Kaji answered with a grin. "I'm not a philosopher. I really am a rogue. And as such, I have made contact with local yakuza."

That got Misato's attention, though she was a bit surprised about the sudden change in topic. "You want to talk with them about the attacks?"

Kaji shook his head. "No. We will. That is something else you can do. And if you manage to make them stop attacking, imagine how you could use this fact in NERV… for the good of the kids, for example..."

Misato scoffed, but it sounded amused. "A rogue indeed. But I see what you mean." She hesitated. "Thank you for that chance."

"There is also something else," Kaji continued. "Another reason I've come."

"Go on," Misato prompted him with some suspicion.

"I told you how the relationship between NERV command and the pilots has gone downhill," Kaji explained. "Hell, you know so yourself. So, if you side with the pilots, you'll side against NERV. That… would come with problems." He took something out of his bag, an electronic device. "So, I'm here to help you with some of those."

Now Misato got even more suspicious. "Explain."

"I'm here to detect whether your apartment is bugged," Kaji told her seriously. "Of course, I'll only be able to sweep up wireless bugs, but I don't think NERV would have been able to lay wires here. They don't own the building, after all, and when you moved in they had no reason to assume you would become… problematic, maybe. And Asuka and Rei moved into that other apartment far too quickly for NERV to react. No, they won't have wired bugs. The only problem are recording bugs. They don't send out wireless signals, either… they just record stuff and then need to be picked up manually. So I would advise you to get a security cam or something, so you can check if people have entered your home."

"Kaji..." Misato hissed in shock. "You can't be serious!"

"Really, Katsuragi?" Kaji countered. "We're talking about NERV here. Keep in mind what they're keeping in their basement. I'll check for wireless bugs here, and then I'll go over to the girls' apartment and do the same there. Also, give them the same advice. Trust me… it might well become necessary. Going against NERV is something you can do… but you need to do so well-prepared."

Misato just sat there at the table and looked at it glumly. She didn't like the sound of this at all. She had so far maintained a high opinion of NERV as an organization. It was after all the organization that fought the angels. She didn't like the thought of really standing against them.

But for the pilots' sake… I will, if necessary.

Shinji reveled in feeling Asuka around him. Whenever he might panic once again about ending up lonely and abandoned he could concentrate on that physical contact and calm himself down. She was sitting on a pillow in the living room and his head was lying in her lap. Thus, he had a constant reminder that he wouldn't be abandoned, at least not right now. And an hour ago, he had spent the dinner with Rei keeping an arm around him.

The two were there. They wouldn't abandon him… at least, not now. He could count on them. And they were constantly reminding him of that. It was… it was a gigantic relief for Shinji. He hadn't thought it possible. That people would sacrifice so much of their time, just to care for him. He felt almost overwhelmed by that realization. It was like Asuka and Rei defiantly thrashing all the memories and revelations the angel had brought up in his mind.

He… he loved them. He needed them. They were the best thing that had ever happened to him.

And now they were saddled with him. Yes, they did spend time and care on him, but that was exactly the problem. They had to, just because of him. He hadn't even been able to make that dinner that they had eaten. Instead, they had let something come from a nearby Korean place. And the packaging of that takeout was still on the kitchen table. Normally, Shinji would have cleaned it up immediately, but…

...but right now, he couldn't do anything. Right now, he was completely useless. A drain on Asuka and Rei. All he could do was hang on to Asuka like a big, fat parasite. Not that he would let go. That would have meant letting go of the flotsam he was clinging to and drowning. But exactly this weakness was what Shinji blamed himself for.

Rei appeared in the living room, already wearing her night gown. Shinji sometimes thought she looked otherworldly beautiful in it. Desirable. But that was also a thought he hated himself for. Rei was a being of beauty and grace, whereas he was just an useless slob dependent on her and Asuka. What business did he have thinking about kissing her or touching her?

"We should go to bed," she announced softly.

Asuka looked down on Shinji and smiled sadly. "Yes. Rest."

"I should maybe," Shinji muttered. "So that you can also do things without me."

"We won't leave you alone," Asuka told him sternly.

This made Shinji feel both relieved and guilty. "But you deserve some time off from me," he insisted.

"Time off from you?" Asuka asked. Then she caressed his face and her voice softened. "Shinji… This is no duty. Rei and I could just bring you over to Misato's apartment again. There is absolutely no obligation for us. We want to help you. That is why we're doing this. We want this. And that is why we'll continue doing it. As long as you need support… well, you'll have it. Because we want to help you."

"But… why?" Shinji pleaded. "I'm not… I'm just a drain on you two. I don't deserve…"

He stopped when Rei knelt down next to Asuka and him. "You're important to us," she simply stated.

"Why?" Shinji asked.

Asuka and Rei looked at each other. Even in his current state, Shinji could see how much understanding and how much tenderness was in that look. Finally, it was Rei who continued, "You're Shinji Ikari. You and Asuka are the most important people in my life. It's only due to you that these days I can feel and smile and live. And you in particular have shown compassion for me since the day you arrived."

"It wasn't right," Shinji muttered. "Wasn't right what my father tried to do with you. You deserved someone to help you. But I..."

"Nobody else had showed me compassion until then," Rei almost whispered. "You're special, Shinji."

Shinji scoffed. "So because I behaved halfway decently, I now get a prize? That's not..."

"No!" Asuka cut in.

Rei shook her head. "It isn't a 'prize' you're getting. What matters is how this was indicative of your personality."

"You're a good boy, you know?" Asuka continued, naturally sounding more forceful than her blue-haired counterpart. "The… the best I've ever met."

Tears welled up in Shinji's eyes. "I'm not! I'm just a pathetic helpless boy who'd break down if you weren't constantly around."

"Then we will be constantly around," Rei told him softly.

"When Rei needed help, we were there," Asuka reminded him. "I'm sure should I ever need help, you two will be there. And now, it's simply your turn. That is all."

"But..." Shinji tried to protest again.

Asuka looked down at him with hard eyes. "Listen to me, Shinji! I won't abandon you! Not after… after all this. I won't remain behind alone myself!"

"You'd still have Rei," Shinji muttered. Their strange threeway attraction was a problem, anyway. If he fell out of the triangle, the way would be free for Rei and Asuka. That would probably be for the best.

"Yes," Rei took the cue. "I'd stay with Asuka. But both of us are also staying with you."

The tears were now flowing down Shinji's face. Asuka was stroking his hair. He didn't understand this. Didn't understand any of it. All he had ever been good for was cooking, and now he couldn't even do that. Why would anyone bother with him? Much less two such wonderful, amazing peple like Asuka and Rei. But they did! They do! It was an almost religious mystery to Shinji.

Rei took Shinji's hand. "Come. We're going to bed." Asuka got up and helped Shinji up in the process as well. The boy simply let himself be led by Rei now, too overwhelmed by all the love and care he was receiving. Once again, he clung to that hand, a physical reassurance that this all wasn't a dream, that the two were still there, that a miracle had happened and despite all odds they continued to care about him.

Even as they changed, the three didn't stay far apart from each other. They had gotten… comfortable around each other. Even so, Shinji still felt a bit guilty for looking. The curves and smooth bodies of the two were something that could fill him with other emotions than his ongoing anxiety and depression, but he didn't really feel worthy of those emotions. Not in the context of Asuka and Rei, at least.

Once again, they laid Shinji in the middle of the two. Asuka wrapped her arms around him, so that he could feel her on one side, and Rei's lithe figure to his back. They were both there. They were both caring about him. And right here and now, surrounded by them, Shinji felt… safe. Calm, even. Whatever happened, he had those two.

"Shinji," Asuka spoke up softly. Her face was mere centimetres apart from his. "We're here. And we'll stay with you. Forever, if need be."

Shinji felt Rei tightening to his back. But when she answered, her voice was, by her standards, full of emotion. "Yes. Together."

"But..." Shinji tried again. "It's Monday tomorrow and… school…"

Asuka scoffed softly. "That isn't even remotely as important as you. We're staying right here with you for as long as you need. Sleep now. We'll be here when you wake up. And school can be damned."

He breathed out heavily several times, nuzzled his head into Asuka's neck and felt calmed by Rei resting her head against his back. It was… extraordinary. Something he had never thought possible. To be held by two incredible girls, to be allowed to sleep between them. He had fucked up so many times in his life that to receive a second chance like this felt almost unreal to him.

And yet, this seemed to be reality. The girls never interrupted physical contact with him. They were there. And they were not leaving him.