Logan woke up in a hospital bed.

Which shouldn't be happening, his next check up isn't until September and he knows for a fact it is not September.

"Are you awake, Logan?"

His mother is holding his hand.

"Mm-hmm."

And she kisses his hand. "Okay."

She hits the call button for a nurse.

Hopefully it's Nurse Danielle, she's the only nice one.

And his mother rises from her spot in one of the plastic chairs.

"I'm going to go talk to Dr. Jones."

And he is left alone in the hospital bed, until Nurse Danielle looks at him, and smiles.

She's nice.

Not nice enough to want to stay awake.

He can't believe this happened.

No one is going to let him live this down.

He sighs.

He'd sleep if he could.

He can't.

"How are you feeling, Logan? It looks like you had a seizure."

"Either I had one or I didn't. I'm here aren't I?"

He really shouldn't be rude to his nurse, that thought strikes him is.

"You are. Now let me just check over some things for you."

It's not like he can say no.

—————

"Oh my God, Mom. Oh my God."

Kendall is strangled by his seatbelt. He can't focus in the dark. The streetlights and the headlights of the cars that speed past distract him.

"Honey, you need to relax. I'm sure Logan is fine," his mother says, not taking her eyes off the road.

He would've driven.

The only reason he couldn't is because his hands kept shaking.

And he didn't need a car crash right now.

He needed to be alive to see Logan alive.

So, reluctantly, he let his mother drive.

Katie is in the backseat, she's calmer than Kendall could ever be.

"Kendall, he's going to be fine."

"But that's the point Katie, I saw him and you didn't. I know he isn't fine. He didn't look fine."

Katie only sighs.

"Kendall, that's not fair."

"It is so fair. You could've been there if you wanted."

"Kendall," his mother warned him. "Please don't get in an argument right now."

"I'm not," he muttered. "I'm just worried about Logan."

And mad at Joanna.

He knew he shouldn't be. Joanna was his mother.

Of course his mother had to come with him in the ambulance. Of course, of course.

That had to make sense.

But it didn't, it was his fault that this had happened to Logan.

He was watching him. And he had screamed at him for not being smart enough to text after Camille left. And Logan had been alone for four hours.

Four hours.

And when Kendall finally could watch him, and make sure he was safe and in fact alive, he collapsed in the bathroom.

And now he's at the hospital and Kendall knows nothing.

This isn't fair.

He's mad at Joanna.

And he's mad at himself.

—————

Carlos is really scared.

His mother got a call from Mama Knight earlier. Which meant something bad had happened, because only calls like that end up with him stuck in the backseat of the car as his father drives and his mother frantically texts for updates.

On Logan's condition.

Something happened to Logan and no one will tell him what it was. Not his parents anyway.

Maybe Mama Knight wasn't being specific enough. Maybe she didn't know.

Maybe the only one who knew was Logan's mom, but she might not be picking up her phone.

And Carlos got to see Logan, too. Lying in that hospital bed. It looked like he was dead.

But there was one of those monitors with the lines on it, and they were moving, which had to mean Logan wasn't dead.

Carlos knows Logan is going to die. But that couldn't happen yet. That would've been too fast. And he was alive a few hours ago, and he had been mad when he was alive.

Carlos would not be able to forgive himself if the last time he saw Logan alive was when he was angry with everything and in a bad mood.

Dead people don't open their eyes.

Logan had been sleeping, and he woke up.

Not dead. Just sleepy.

Carlos could live with that.

That was okay.

"Hey, Logie."

"Carlos?" he murmured sleepily, yawning. "Where's—"

Everyone.

Everyone was in the hallway. Freaking out. Thinking Logan was dead when he wasn't.

Though Carlos had thought Logan was dead a minute ago. Maybe he should tell them he isn't dead.

"They're coming."

And into the room they came, with sighs of relief and lots of hugging and Carlos guessed his parents and Mama Knight and Logan's mom had been crying.

James's mom was dabbing her eyes. But that could be face cream. She didn't usually cry.

But now mostly everyone was crying.

Just not him or Logan or James.

Or Katie, she just looked really tired too. And scared.

Kendall wasn't crying. But Carlos knew something was wrong with him.

And Logan might have too, because he shut his eyes again and pretended he was sleeping.

But not for long, because once the parents went outside to talk, and Katie went to hospital cafeteria, which Carlos would have to accompany her to, because he's hungrier than he thought, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kendall approach Logan's hospital bed.

"Wake up."

He felt bad for James. And for Logan.

He'll be quick, he'll bring back food.

Maybe Kendall will calm down by then.

—————

"This is all my fault."

Logan only sighed. Sitting up, opening his eyes.

"Kendall. It's my brain. It's a seizure."

"Which you had in the shower. While I was supposed to be watching you."

James tries to pull Kendall back from the hospital bed, and push him into a chair. But Kendall stands his ground, unfortunately. James is the one sitting in the chair now.

"Kendall," James says. "It's not like you can watch him shower."

Kendall nods too quickly to be convincing enough. Like now it's perfectly acceptable to watch him shower because he's not much of a human being anyway, anymore.

"I know that," he spat. "I just should have been paying more attention."

"Mistakes happen, man."

"And it could've killed him! He looked dead, James, don't you realize he could die like that?"

Kendall snaps his fingers.

Logan sighs.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"You're sleeping, aren't you?" he retorts.

And Logan sighs again.

"This is not your fault. A seizure is an imbalance of electrical impulses in the brain. My brain. My fault. Not yours. You need to calm down."

"I am calm!"

Logan and James say it together: "You just yelled."

"Shut up!" he yells at them.

And storms off.

Good. Now he could actually sleep.

So he closes his eyes.

—————

Camille's phone is buzzing.

And she had been trying ignore it.

Her main goal right now was to sleep. Sleep without being angry at Logan, about how stupid he was being, why would he lie to her?

She loves him.

It's her self-critical conscience that adds, when you love someone, you don't walk out on them. Especially when that person has a deadly disease. And had been left alone for hours.

That is enough to convince her to snatch her phone off her nightstand.

Flooded with messages.

Kendall's are mostly why did you leave him alone, Logan is in the hospital now, he collapsed in the bathroom and we don't know if he's alive.

She doesn't want to check through the other twenty-odd messages from Carlos and James.

She just needs to know what happened to Logan.

So she calls, she calls Kendall a total of five times.

And each time, she is left with his voicemail.

She doesn't need to leave a message, he'd figure out why she called if he ever picked up his phone.

And anyway, she's going to see Logan.

It is at least ten, and Rochester is an hour away, maybe even two if traffic is bad.

She doesn't care.

Logan could be dead. She is going to see her boyfriend on his deathbed.

Logan cannot, he absolutely cannot be on his deathbed.

She needs to tell him she loved him, one last time before he can even think of dying on her. She loves him so much and if he dies before she gets there she'll just get in a car accident on the way back.

No.

No. That's suicidal.

But what's that thing Logan says all the time?

She's being realistic.

—————

She knew it, she knew it, he's dead, he's dead, and the last thing she said to him was—she doesn't even know.

She doesn't want to remember.

It wasn't I love you, I love you more than I could love anyone else in the world, you are everything and I'm so sorry we fought and I love you, I love you, I love you forever.

He is dead and she never said goodbye.

She never said goodbye.

"Camille, honey."

"Is he dead? He's dead. Oh my god—"

And Joanna is out of his chair next to Logan's hospital bed. And hugging her.

Did everyone else already say goodbye?

She was the only one who didn't say goodbye.

It shouldn't have happened so soon.

Nobody expected it. It wasn't fair.

"Logan isn't dead, Camille."

And she can breathe again.

She squirms out of Joanna's hug, because the only thing she needs right now is to be close to Logan.

His hand is cold but that's because he's always cold. He has a pulse. And she can hear him breathing.

"He's just sleeping," Joanna continues. "Visiting hours are over. How did you get in?"

She's an actress and she needed to be here. She thought he had died.

"It's so late," Joanna adds. "How are you getting home?"

And Camille shakes her head. "I don't want to go home. I can sleep in a chair."

And Joanna gives her a sympathetic smile. "Honey, you have work tomorrow, don't you?"

She didn't care about work right now.

"I do."

"Do you want me to call you an Uber?"

And then Joanna looks at her again.

"That's dangerous, isn't it? Do you have someone you can call? The boys all went home already."

And Camille nods.

She has contacts she can call.

From work, maybe.

She does have Gianna's number.

"I can try to call someone."

She kisses Logan, who's asleep and cold but alive, she reminds herself, that Logan will be awake in the morning and she'll send him a good morning text about how much she loves him.

Because he's stupid but she can't get mad at him when she thought he was going to die.

And she disappears back out to the parking lot, phone call made.

This has to be the strangest circumstance that Camille has ever been in a coworker's car.

But Gianna just hands her a tissue and says, "I don't sleep much either. I'll pick us up expressos before call time tomorrow."

And Gianna drops her off, and gives her a hug that Camille didn't know she needed.

And Camille is back in her bedroom.

Logan is alive.

Everything is fine.

She might as well send the good morning text now.

Good morning, babe. I love you so much

Want to meet up after I wrap on set today? I miss you.

I love you.

She just can't say I love you enough.

She had never been more scared in her life.

But it was all okay now.

She just needed Logan to know that she would never not love him.

She will, would, and always love him forever.