Author's Note: Sorry about the wait! I do really love the attention to this story. I am really liking the idea. I had so much planned for this chapter that I couldn't fit it all in. So, I guess I'll have to fit the rest of this night into the next one. Sorry about that! Thank you all for being so sweet and giving me your thoughts on this so far! I do hope that you continue to enjoy!
Neteyam escorts Ronal back to her hut in time for an exasperated older woman to appear in the doorway, annoyed. Ronal takes one look at her, at her expression before letting out a long, drawn-out sigh.
"Still trying to repair that boat?" Ronal asks.
"Yes," the woman sighs. "I told him it's going to kill him."
"Back or legs?" Ronal asks, a touch of playful amusement to her voice.
The woman rolls her eyes. "His back. He says it hurts. Like I told him it was going to. I need you to come slap some sense into him, please."
Ronal huffs, shaking her head. "Okay. I'm on my way."
Neteyam offers a polite smile to the woman before looking over at Ronal. "Would you like some company? I could help."
Ronal shakes her head. "No, Neteyam. I've got this one. An old stubborn man needing to be told what to do is my job. It's cathartic for me, really."
The woman smiles at that, amused. Her blue eyes turn to Neteyam and there is a moment there, always there, of contemplation. Wonder. Curiosity. She's no doubt seen Neteyam a thousand times since he got here, but still, there was something about him that was misplaced. Something eye catching. But still shiny and new. As if people were still seeing him as if he's something strange.
She isn't disgusted or repulsed. Her eyes shine with confusion, curiosity even.
Maybe it's because of what happened earlier, but Neteyam feels more sensitive than he usually does to those looks, where he can usually ignore them without worry or dissuade them with a smile, instead of doing either of those things, he looks to Ronal. He feels thin and frail like a worn blanket that's nearly threadbare with frayed edges, and when her eyes find his, he recognizes the understanding flashing across her face.
"Come along," Ronal says easily to the woman, to Neteyam's relief. "Your mate isn't going to fix himself."
The woman rolls her eyes. "I don't even think you will be able to fix him, Tsahik," she says, her attention being thoroughly removed from Neteyam and any questions that may have been building under the surface before heading out.
Ronal makes to follow after, stopping next to Neteyam and placing her hand on his shoulder. A single, assure nod, before following after. Neteyam grabs his spear and unfolds the blanket covering the doorway to let everyone know that the Tsahik and Chief were not taking guests in their home - mostly because neither of them were home. After making sure it's in place, Neteyam turns and makes his way back toward his home, taking the path between the marui instead of heading to the beach and cutting across like he usually does.
Neteyam walks along the rails holding the nets up with his excellent balance - something that he doesn't usually get to practice unless Ao'nung is feeling crazy enough to come out into the forest behind the marui and follow him along the roots and branches. No one else is really interested in wandering the forest other than Ao'nung, Tsireya and Rotxo - which is all that Neteyam needs.
But event hat interest is fleeting on the best of days, mostly because Neteyam doesn't really know what's out there and what anything is, but he mostly goes to pick berries for their meals when he wants something especially sweet, but Ao'nung is the only one with the patience to just wander aimlessly whenever Neteyam gets the bug to just climb around in the trees and practice his balance. It's one of the few things that Neteyam does that helps connect him to his roots as a Forest Na'vi. He kept his style of braids in part too, but most things he's given up, or forgotten about after all of these years.
Usually, Neteyam can go through his daily life without worry, but sometimes he gets the bug that he can't ignore and has to just go and explore. He knows that Ao'nung isn't getting the same fulfillment from it that he is, so he tries not to go often or stay overly long, but sometimes he can't help it. Ao'nung doesn't complain, but Neteyam knows that he would no doubt rather be doing something else more interesting.
Still, Neteyam loves that he's willing to come with without complaint.
But he's okay at the moment, content to just rising up onto the balls of his feet and walking across the beams holding up the net walkways between the marui and the giant tree that they are rooted beside. Once he gets close to his marui, he makes his way toward the beach and cuts to it to put his spear away so that he can go in search of Ao'nung. They needed to get the shells that Ronal wanted before having the rest of the day for themselves - at least until tonight.
Once making it into his marui, his mama is in there, she's cleaning - or she was, judging by the basket of cloth in her hands, no doubt something she intends to go clean - but the floor has her attention, so much so that she didn't notice Neteyam walk in. Her pursed lips are pushed to the side, considering something.
"Are you okay, mama?" Neteyam asks, moving to put his spear on the weapon rack, beneath his dad's, before turning to look at her.
Startled, Rhalwari jumps at the sound of his voice, hand over her chest as she turns toward him. "Neteyam! You scared me! Great Mother, I need to give you louder shells so I can hear you coming!"
Neteyam grimaces. "Sorry, mama. What are you looking at? Is something wrong?" He walks over to her, nearing the far-right corner of their marui, over by where they keep Neteyam's medical supplies - his small, but growing stash - next to where they keep their storage of food. She's about five feet away from the storage, staring at the ground in thought.
She shakes her head, dismissing whatever she was thinking about and just turns to Neteyam. "Nothing. I must be losing my mind. But never mind that. How was the hunting trip?" She smiles, walking over to the corner to pick up something that was placed on one of the boxes, putting it into the basket. "Have you gone to see Ronal yet?"
Neteyam stops just short of where she had, glancing down at the spot but not seeing anything out of the ordinary before looking back over at his mama. "The hunt was fine. We got a great haul. And yes, I went to pray with Ronal already. I was just going to go out to find Ao'nung. Ronal asked us to find some shells. I think she's going to be making some ointment for shalshuka burns. I hear there was a lot of them spotted just outside the reef."
Rhalwari makes a face at that. "I've been stung before. They hurt a lot. The ointment is good enough, but it'll stings for like a week before the burning sensation fully goes away."
Neteyam's ears flatten at that. "I hear they are pretty to look at, especially in the dark, but yeah, I hear they can sting bad enough to scar."
Rhalwari nods, pressing her lips together tightly. "Yeah, there are some in the clan that have the scars to prove it. That's why I want you boys to be careful when you're out there. We live on land and in the sea, but the sea is all they know. They move silently through the waters, and if it's really the shalshuka and not another kind, then they are almost invisible to the eye during the day. So, be careful, okay?"
"Okay." Neteyam shivers, wrapping his arms around himself. "Scary." He shakes himself from it. "Are you sure that you don't need anything?" His eyes lower to the ground once more to make sure that there wasn't anything obvious to him being a problem, but there's nothing jumping out at him.
"Oh, I'm okay," Rhalwari says, smiling playfully at the look to the floor once more. "Although," she trails off slowly. "I could use your help with something."
His ears perk at that, dragging his eyes back to her. "Yes? What can I do for you?"
Rhalwari smiles more, pleased at her helpful boy. "Thank you, my sweet boy. I was thinking, there is moss growing in the deep cave that I wanted to get, if you're willing to come with. I could use your skinny arms to reach between the crevasses."
"Be careful of sea spiders," Rotxo quips playfully, poking Neteyam's shoulder.
Neteyam glares at his brother while Rhalwari tuts, pretending to be displeased but there is amusement dancing in her eyes as Neteyam says, annoyed, "Thank you for that. Now that's all I'm going to be thinking about every time I stick my hand in between them."
Rotxo grins mischievously. "That will definitely encourage you to be careful of sea spiders." He laughs at the droll look that Neteyam sends his way.
"What are you doing here?" Neteyam asks, bringing up his hand and flicking Rotxo's shoulder.
"Oh, ow," Rotxo gasps, laughing. "Wow, that actually kind of hurt." He grins playfully at the look that Neteyam sends him. "Um, I was coming to see if mom wanted to come with me to feed the ilu."
Rhalwari's eyes brighten with joy. "Oh, yes! I would love to go."
Neteyam pats the part of Rotxo's shoulder that he flicked in a soothing motion and a very gentle apology for any pain that he actually caused. "Well, I should let you guys go, then. I have to go find Ao'nung. I have made him wait long enough."
"I just saw him at the docks, he was straightening out some nets with Ha'lir," he says slowly, offering a little, tentative smile.
Neteyam frowns, staring at Rotxo, feeling something ugly coil in his stomach. He sucks in a few, slow breaths before nodding. Rhalwari frowns as well, placing the basket against her hip as she delicately says to Neteyam, "He gave you a betrothal gift, sweet boy. There is no need to worry."
Neteyam stares at her, trying to keep the ugly feeling deep inside of him. He hates this feeling, this ugly, twisted feeling that he can't seem to ever shake. No matter how much he tries to push past this, convince himself and let others convince him, that this isn't the problem that he fears it is, but he can't stop it. He lets out a long-winded sigh, shaking his head slowly.
Today has, perhaps, made him extremely sensitive because normally he finds that he could have handled this with more grace than what he feels like he's capable of at the moment, but he's already made Ao'nung wait long enough.
"I know," he says, voice flat. "I just... hate that I worry."
"He's crazy about you," Rotxo says, the jest from earlier gone. Now he looks somber. "They were never really a thing, anyway."
"I know he's trustworthy," Neteyam says evenly. "It's not him I'm worried about." Because if Ao'nung is crazy about him, Ha'lir is just crazy. Neteyam won't speak ill of her, especially out loud, but even so, barely in his head, but there is just something about her that he doesn't like. Something that has always rubbed him the wrong way. He knows that in part it has to be for her crush on Ao'nung, which is fair, because to Neteyam, Ao'nung is the most wonderful boy in the village. He can't really blame her for never letting go.
But he does. He blames her for never letting go.
They were betrothed for a time, because they were young, and friends and she comes from a strong, well-known family, and that's just what happens in reef clans. Olo'eyktan are betrothed at a very young age. But naturally things change and can be altered so it wasn't a surprise when Ao'nung was - technically - old enough to tell his mother and father that he had his hearts set on another and went through all the hoops of getting approval to court Neteyam.
Or, well, get permission to one day court Neteyam. When he becomes an adult recognized by the clan. Whenever that is.
He moved on. She never did.
Neteyam chews on his lower lip. He trusts Ao'nung never to cheat or lead him on, but Neteyam recognizes that he's an... acquired taste. He comes with a lot more hardships than that of a normal Metkayina female.
Sure, he should be able to bare kids for Ao'nung - and for himself, it's always been a quiet dream of his - but it'll always be harder for him to conceive than it would be for the average female. He knows he is a fertile male, much more than Ao'nung is, so he should be able to carry children to term easier than Ao'nung ever could but there is a small part of him is scared.
Ronal is a strong, healthy female and even she had trouble carrying to term. They couldn't find any reason why she miscarried but figured stress had a huge role to play in it, but they don't know for certain. And her body was designed for this, his adapted over generations to make it possible. But not every male can, and even if they have the parts necessary, another huge part is fertility.
Thankfully, Neteyam knows that he is extremely fertile, which is a sign of a same sex parentage somewhere in his bloodline, that also makes him the better choice of the two of them to be the one to carry any future offspring, but, well, there are still hardships involved. Which, he supposes, is natural.
A good part of it can also be recognized by his more androgynous features. He was such a pretty boy when he was young. Very delicate and dainty, but most of the Metkayina had never seen a forest Na'vi at all, let alone one as young as him, so no one knew what to expect.
But now that he has hit puberty, he isn't broadening out like normal adult forest Na'vi. So that was also a good indicator of a same sex parentage in his bloodline. His future doesn't appear to be broad shoulders and a wide chest akin to most male forest Na'vi. Which was fine, he supposed.
Thankfully, he's going to be tall, or at least taller than his mom and the average female Na'vi. But he's going to be a more sinewy musculature than anything else. Tall and lean, if he's to guess.
So, while he's a better option between himself and Ao'nung, which has honestly been his preference all along, he will never be as good as a female.
He never spoke to anyone about this - not his parents or Ao'nung. He's scared to tell Ao'nung because they are still young, and he doesn't want to scare him. Neteyam realized going into puberty that he might be either maturing faster than the boys in his age group, which is very possible, or is perhaps closer to Ao'nung's age than Rotxo, which is all in the span of a year and a half, but still a lot of time when it comes to puberty.
They think he is fifteen, which is the same age as Rotxo, but he's starting to think he might be closer to sixteen, if not already sixteen, like Ao'nung. Just based on how he felt that he's matured and basing on the boys of the clan around his age. Even Ao'nung is more childish than he is. And his voice went from being really soft to soft and low, husky even.
Ronal suggested sickness when he was a baby that made his voice so low and husky. Something that he's not sure of, seeing as he's the picture of perfect health at this point in his life. But he doesn't remember really being sick when he was young, his parents saying he was usually pretty healthy, while he doesn't really have anyone else to ask in that regard, so they are left to simply speculate.
But back to having kids? Well, Neteyam has always loved them. And he... wants to undo a wrong. Maybe even prove a point. The people who brought him into this world... they left him. They didn't want him anymore. Maybe he was really sick when he was young, and they couldn't deal with it anymore. Maybe something horrible happened to them so they couldn't care for him. Maybe... maybe they knew of all the strange things he could do or would do, and thought he was a freak.
Or... maybe it's just him. Maybe the reason is as simple as they didn't want him anymore. Maybe the problem wasn't them at all. Maybe it was always him.
He was smart enough or helpful enough. He was too loud or too sick. He didn't fit in. He's a freak. Too soft. Too delicate. Too stupid. Too worthl-
A soft hand touches Neteyam's cheek. He blinks, golden eyes focusing on his mama's worried face.
"I love you, sweet boy," she says softly, her eyes studying his face. "Your dad loves you. Your brothers love you. Ao'nung loves you. He chose you. We choose you. You are here with us. And we love you so much."
Neteyam has to wonder if his father stopped by earlier and told her about what happened today. That, or she's just so perceptive, which could also be true. Either way, he needed to hear that. He needed that confirmation. It assuages some of the fear in his heart.
A tension that Neteyam didn't realize was pulling taut at his shoulders loosen enough for him to feel Rotxo's hand there. He looks over at his brother's frowning expression and smiles faintly, stomping down the ugly and the painful until it's all the way down to his toes. Now wasn't the time for that. He doesn't do anyone any good worrying about things that have already come and passed. He'll never know. He needs to make peace with that. There is no point in worrying about something that he can't control.
Wonder why people who never loved him, don't love him.
"Sorry. I just... sort of got into my head a bit there. I... I'm okay. Thank you, mama. Thank you, Rotxo." He reaches up, placing his hand on Rotxo's and giving him a little nod. "I should go. I already made Ao'nung wait long enough today. We'll be back tonight, okay?"
"Okay," Rotxo says slowly, frowning while glancing at their mother. She nods as well, also frowning before both of them pull back. "Mama? Do you need help with that basket? We might as well clean those while we're out."
Rhalwari smiles at him, reaching out to caress his cheek. "Yes, my darling boy. I was thinking the same. Be safe out there, Neteyam," she says, turning back to him with worry still in her eyes. "We'll see you tonight."
Neteyam nods, waving his hand a bit before turning and heading out of his home, stuffing those thoughts and feelings - so ugly and unwarranted - deep down inside of himself. As far as they will go. Forcing himself to focus on the heat beating down on him. On the sand beneath his toes. The gentle wind pulling at his hair. Anything but that ugly thing that squirms in his chest whenever he feels this way. This sensitivity that puts him on edge. Makes him unpleasant. Makes him unkind.
Makes him unworthy of all the good things that he was mercifully given.
In spite of all he lost, he could have had it a lot worse, and he does his family a disservice by giving it a second thought more. He should be happy with what he has. He doesn't even deserve that.
Forcing his chin level with the smooth white sand beneath his feet, Neteyam makes his way to the docks, spotting Ao'nung almost immediately. His back is to Neteyam, as he listens to the petite, beautiful Ha'lir while carefully folding nets that were used earlier in the morning. Her long black hair, wavy and braided along her skull on the top half before crisscrossing into an intricate design down her back over the top of her free-flowing waves. She's adorned to perfection. Hair, legs, necklace, modesty piece, even her bright blue loincloth is accessorized beautifully. Everything about her; beautiful, elegant, perfect.
And when she turns to look at him, being the first of the two of them, she smiles sweetly. Beautifully.
"Hi, Neteyam," she says sweetly, hands taking the net that Ao'nung was carefully folding.
Ao'nung twists around at that, blue eyes landing on him as Neteyam steps onto the dock, about five or so feet away. With his hands free, Ao'nung's face breaks into this beautiful smile that Neteyam just melts at the sight of every single time. The corner of his mouth faulters slightly, his eyes scanning Neteyam's face, as if seeing something and Neteyam forces a smile - which is slightly easier with an eyeful of that beautiful smile on Ao'nung's face - and Ao'nung makes his way over, hands encircling Neteyam's waist and bending down just enough to press his face into Neteyam's neck.
He must have been standing out in the sun for a while because his skin is so warm to the touch that Neteyam just purrs at the feeling, hugging him tightly. His shoulders especially. He can feel Ao'nung smile against his neck, nuzzling a bit before pulling back enough to look at him, eyes studying his face, searching again for whatever it was he saw walking over to Neteyam.
"Are you okay?" Ao'nung asks, voice soft.
"Always," Neteyam says back, smiling easier and easier. "Would you two like some help?"
Ao'nung studies him for a moment longer before nodding and stepping back. "We would love the help. We're almost done. Then, you and I can head out."
Neteyam nods, giving his hand a squeeze before pulling away entirely. "Sounds good to me." He turns to Ha'lir, pleased that the ugly inside of him has been stomped down to specks of dust for the moment. "Hi, Ha'lir. I hope your day is well."
Her smile doesn't faulter, her eyes don't wander, but the tension in her shoulders speak volumes. Regardless, she kindly says, "It is. I hope yours is too." And the three of them set to work finishing folding the nets.
By the time Neteyam and Ao'nung finished gathering all the shells for Ronal and got to walking the beach, hand in hand, they probably did about thirty laps back and forth, playfully poking and teasing one another before they realized it was time to get home. They stopped by Ao'nung's house to drop off the basket of shells for Ronal so that she wouldn't have to carry it back later on tonight, before they both head to Neteyam's house, noting that Ao'nung's family was nowhere to be found.
"They probably went over early," Ao'nung said as they put the basket in his mom's medicine corner of their marui. "My mom just loves these nights."
Neteyam smiles, pleased before taking Ao'nung's hand and leading him back towards his house. "My mom too."
They try, Neteyam and Ao'nung's families, to meet up at least once every week or two to have a little bonding time between both families. They've been doing this for as long as Neteyam can remember, and he's always loved it. Even before Ao'nung and he became friends, he still enjoyed playing with Tsireya and Rotxo and tolerating Ao'nung's presence. They got to eat good food, sit around and talk and in recent years, Tsireya and Ao'nung would stay the night and the four of them would sleep outside on the beach, all cuddled together, just talking and having fun.
Neteyam had worried that would stop when Ao'nung asked to be able to court him when they both are adults, but their parents tentatively allowed it to continue at first, seeing as Rotxo and Tsireya would both still be there - and they were probably fifteen feet away from the marui that Tao'su and Rhalwari will be sleeping in - so they grew comfortable once more. As they grow older, Neteyam recognizes over this last year that perhaps both of them are growing more and more bold in their touches, but nothing crazy enough to get either in trouble.
Besides, Neteyam is adamant about waiting until they are both adults. No matter how freaking hard it is sometimes. How hard he makes it sometimes.
Speaking of.
A hand wraps around his tail, close enough to the base to make Neteyam's spine tingle deliciously, giving it a playful, light tug. Neteyam glares at Ao'nung, fighting the smile threatening to overtake his burning face. "Don't touch my tail, skxawng."
Ao'nung grins mischievously but Neteyam has already sped up, willing his flaming face to calm, making his way into his bustling marui. His mama, Rotxo, Tsireya and Ronal are already in there. They are gathering everything to bring out to the fire pit. They greet each other as Neteyam jumps in to immediately help, smiling sweetly at his mama's look, her eyes studying his face to see if he was still upset from earlier, but smiles back in relief when she doesn't see anything out of the ordinary.
He carefully avoids the wolfish smiles that Ao'nung keeps sending his way as they all pull everything they need outside in time for Tonowari to make his way over, no doubt late because he was checking in on the clan, letting everyone who needed to know where to find him if something happened, the sky darkening to night. He quickly glances around, noting that Tao'su wasn't there, before getting to work on the fire pit for them. He managed to get the fire lit in time for Tao'su with an arm full of a giggling Rowee thrown over his shoulder like a sack to come into view from the marui behind them.
"Sorry," Tao'su says, easily, dumping the giggling boy onto his mama's awaiting lap, face streaked with joyful tears. "I lost track of time. This rambunctious boy kept me occupied."
Rhalwari cuddles her baby close, listening to him breathlessly tell her about all the fun he and Tao'su had. Apparently, Neteyam's dad went to pick him up from lessons and they went over to play with the ilu and were making something when the boy cut off, blue eyes wide as he glances around the fire pit. Neteyam's ears perk when Rowee grins at him, scrambling off his mama's lap and racing over to Neteyam.
"I made this for you!" Rowee says, revealing a simple leaf necklace that was clenched in his hand.
Neteyam's entire body goes rigid as Ao'nung tugged on his tail just a second before, timing impeccable. He glares, not knowing how the other boy got behind him, ripping his tail from Ao'nung's hand, toes tingling, but he stomps down the feeling as fast as possible. "Stop touching me, skxawng!" Ao'nung smiles at him, chin curved down toward the sand to look at him through his lashes. But Neteyam ignores the look - or tries really hard to - before lowering down onto his knees in front of Rowee. "You made something for me?"
Rowee, blissfully unaware, holds the necklace closer. "Yep! Daddy and I made it!"
Neteyam's eyes brighten in joy. "It's so beautiful!" Neteyam doesn't bother inspecting it further than noting the strings of leaves hanging off of it, each a variation of green and just so beautiful. He turns away letting go of his tail before grabbing his hair and holding it up. "Will you put it on me?"
The little boy giggles, tying it at the back of Neteyam's neck for him. It settles neatly against his chest. Neteyam settles his hair back down before turning to gently hug his little brother, noting right away that the leaves weren't protected yet, so he had to be careful with them or they would break or tear off.
"Thank you, Rowee, I love it so much," Neteyam says sweetly, grinning up at his baby brother.
"I know," Rowee says, grinning back. Neteyam lets out a little laugh. "I made it! Of course, you're going to love it!"
"My humble brother," Neteyam jests, standing up and yanking his tail back in time, catching sight of Ao'nung's hand. "Hey! Don't touch my tail! I told you." Ao'nung holds his hands up in surrender, stepping back when Neteyam points a finger at him in warning, fighting the amusement coiling in his stomach.
"I'm just playing around," Ao'nung says, in mock sweetness.
"Stop it," Neteyam says, a slight curl to the corner of his mouth.
"Careful, Ao'nung," Rotxo says, grinning. "He'll kick your butt if you make him mad."
Ao'nung's eyes flare as his grin grows and Neteyam knew right away that's what he was going for. Neteyam rolls his eyes as Ao'nung innocently says, "I'm not doing anything. I'm sorry, Neteyam."
"Uh huh."
"If you boys are going to fight, can't it wait until after dinner?" Tsireya asks, playfully, her own eyes sparkling. She smooths long, beautiful black hair over her dimly glowing shoulder.
Neteyam glares at Ao'nung, who keeps his hands up in mock innocence, before walking over to his giggling mother and amused looking Ronal to help them clean the fish. He drops onto his hunches next to them. He shakes his head, catching his giggling mother glancing at Ronal.
"You boys are too funny," Rhalwari says, handing a clean fish to Tao'su to start cooking.
"You can beat him up, if you want," Ronal says easily, her voice lilted in amusement.
"I will if he doesn't leave me alone," Neteyam says, no longer fighting the smile that crosses his lips. "Will that make me a bad mate to fight him?"
"Not at all," Ronal says, voice even. "It's how I won the heart of his father, after all."
Neteyam's eyes widen at that, while Rhalwari barks out a laugh, throwing her head back. Neteyam glances over to see his dad's shoulders shaking, as if remembering this moment while Tonowari grins, amused. Neteyam has no idea if she's joking or not but he has his suspicions.
"You used to beat up the Olo'eyktan?" Neteyam asks, golden eyes sparkling in equal parts amusement and fascination.
Tonowari lets out a hardy laugh as Ronal simply says, "Used to? No, dear boy, I still do. He is the boss of the clan, but I am the boss of the household - and everything else."