"Tomorrow things forever change, be ready my concubines." That's because after school is over, I'll gather all of my harem in the same place! And then I shall make them live with each other! And also me! And also my parents! Something that is only possible due to my new mansions of course.
Shiro glares at me. "Why...? Just what are you planning to do Yato?" Geez why the immediate hostility!? First her non-provoked attack at school and now this! I'm beginning to think Shiro is a mindlessly violent person.
Caren grins. "Something will forever change huh? Are you finally gonna do it?" I raise an eyebrow in confusion, I have no idea what she's talking about. "It's just that I know all the places in this city with middle schools." Nope, back to ignoring Caren.
Luvia crosses her arms and shudders. "I... can't believe this is happening to me." Oh right, she's still stuck on the 'I don't want to be a concubine' thing. It also probably doesn't help that Waver just dropped her here and then went home.
I fake a cough. "Worry not my harem, for I am not planning anything too crazy... I just want all of you guys to move into my mansion! But like the one with my parents, because I like living with my parents." I shall stop doing so when, like, I'm eighteen or something. I'm still a teenager right now.
Caren is the first to react, shrugging. "I'm disappointed your first fall ended so early, but I'm fine with living with you." She nods to herself. "I basically live with you already anyways." That is true, but now it's gonna be in a mansion! Which is cool!
Also I'm glad my third concubine was so easy to convince, because I know it will be more... difficult with the rest. People tend to get overly attached to their homes, so much so that they may even try to deny their betters. I'm their betters in this situation... and all other situations, obviously.
Shiro immediately shakes her head. "There's no way I'm moving with you! Fuji-Nee is already gonna have my head for staying here tonight!" Fujimura-Sensei should give you more freedom! You're almost an adult, you have the mental capacity to live with your master.
Still, I understand he can't exactly say no to her. "Fine, I guess. I suppose it will be just me and Caren, plus whoever else accepts my invitation." Which better be all of them! I can only take so much rejection before collapsing in a dead pile of shame and fury!
A sudden look of realization passes through her eyes. "Okay, I got it. I will be moving with you no matter what Fuji-Nee says, for the good of the world." What's with the sudden attitude change!? And for the good of the world!? Does Shiro think the world is better when I'm with her...? Cute! "Also, maybe she will be okay with it, she was basically throwing me at you before..." Yeah, that was due to my billionaire status, which has nothing to do with owning a mansion.
I send her a smile. "I'm glad that's settled Shiro." Then I look towards Luvia, who is still muttering on the corner. "It goes without saying that you have no choice on the matter, cow." It feels weird calling her cow, but Waver did it, so I'll just imitate it to get along with everybody.
She sighs. "Sorry, what were we speaking about again? I wasn't paying attention." Wow, could she be dumber than Shiro? This is certainly a new factor about my childhood friend... Or maybe she was just distracted with something else.
I pout. "We were talking about us all moving into one of my new mansions." I then can't help, but mutters. "Someone like Rin would be paying attention..." Well, maybe she wouldn't. I'm just saying so out of frustration, I'm meeting much more resistance than initially planned after all.
Luvia immediately glares at me, it makes me take a instinctual step back in fear. "Rin? Are you talking about this generation's Tohsaka?" I nod, though I don't get what's the big deal. "Are you saying that this Rin Tohsaka, this... miscreant, is a better concubine? That she listens more? That she plans more? That she pleases you in bed more?" I didn't say anything about that though!
Suddenly Luvia starts laughing. "Ohohohoho! Just what was I thinking!? I am Luviagelita Edelfelt damn it! I have hunted Dead Apostles before! I may lose, but not so easily, and never to a Tohsaka!" Huh? You know Rin? Could it be that she's your childhood friend too!? Childhood triangle...
The Ojou-Sama continues. "Very well, I'll show you what an actual good concubine looks like Yato! So you better be ready, for I will move into your mansion of course!" Cool. I don't know where all of this motivation came from, but I'm happy about it nonetheless.
I nod. "Great, I will be looking forward to it, cow." I still don't get why her mood changed so quickly once I mentioned Tohsaka, I guess I'll have to ask her tomorrow after school, once I go get her. Ah, we haven't talked since the blowjob... awkward...!
For some reason I receive a disapproving look from Shiro, while Luvia goes back to being depressed. "Why...? He was so nice when we were young..." I was also very naive, I didn't know the true terrors this world contains! Like the opening of Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance... They kill the protagonist. Spooky.
I put both of my hand on my hips and puff my chest. "Okay then, now that everything is settled, tomorrow I'll go from door to door recruiting my harem!" It will be an adventure, that's for sure. "You guys can just prepare yourselves or whatever, I'll come back here with everyone before we move into the mansion."
Caren fakes a cough. "Um... Yato, do you even know where most of your harem lives?" I... know Illya lives in a big forest! One with a castle! Which is probably not enough information, and Caren definitely sees that in my face. "You should take a guide... though I don't know where they live either."
My guide then is Shiro, so I send her a expectant look. She only shrugs in response though. "Sorry Yato, I also don't where they live... Honestly, you have been dating them for so long, how do you not know this?" Because I'm dumb! It wasn't done with malice, I swear! Also what's with this useless 'guide'!? Though I guess she did get lost on the school's rooftop...
Luvia suddenly proudly smiles. "Don't worry Yato, while your other concubines flounder everything they do, I am know where all the major people in this city live!" That sounds kinda stalkerish, but it sure is convenient.
Caren glares at her. "Watch who you make an enemy of you blonde bimbo." I'm sure she didn't mean any harm. If Luvia actually wanted to cause harm then she would break our happiness in a thousand little pieces.
Shiro crosses her arms and sighs towards Caren's direction. "I feel like you're the one who loves making enemies here... It was just one silly comment." Well, Caren did make Illya her enemy, so maybe you're sorta right?
Nonetheless, I ignore them and send Luvia a thumbs up. "Okay then my childhood friend! Tomorrow meet me in front of Homurahara after school!" Would Shiro feel sad if I took her job as 'guide' and transferred over to this newcomer.
Luvia nods, and then mutters something about the cow nickname disappearing. Oh well, if it makes her sad when I change it, I'll call her cow even more from now on!
"Oh, you found out where I live... I will have no peace will I?" Those are the words Rin greets me as she opens her door, her eye twitching in anger. "And more than that...! Are you stupid!? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you are!" I don't make a secret out of it! "You just tore through my bounded fields dumbass! Now it's gonna take forever to put them up again!" I don't even know what they are though!
Cow smirks. "Well, any fool could have tore these pathetic barriers to shreds. It's only natural they would collapse around a Campione, so please don't blame Yato for your incompetence Tohsaka." Yes! Defend me from my first concubine!
Rin immediately glares at her. "And who is this cow...?" Luvia for some reason trembles in shock, she takes a few steps back muttering something about 'how does she know?'. In her defense, I'm also very surprised by Rin's cow detection abilities.
I awkwardly scratch my head, Rin has missed a ton. "Well, she is my new concubine, the sixth to be specific. Shiro Emiya was the fifth by the way." The harem has receive two new member in her absence, nonetheless Rin doesn't need to worry, because she will always have first place in my heart!
Rin pouts. "So I blow you, and then you don't talk with me for a whole day, and somehow you get two new harem members? Including the school's fake janitor of all people?" Ah, I have a feeling my first concubine is mad.
Before I can answer, Luvia interjects. "W-wait, Tohsaka blew you...?" Her face is red as if in disbelief. I don't really get her surprise though, Rin is a concubine after all, that's kinda her job. "And Tohsaka is basically the harem's queen, correct?" We of the Soviet Harem don't believe in such hierarchies.
Rin nods with a smug grin. "You are indeed correct, newcomer." That grin disappears as soon as it appeared. "Wait, when did I start being proud of that...?" Back in the fight with Illya, if my memory has not started working like Shiro's memory.
Luvia then looks at me, with a blushing face, and a trembling body she points towards my crotch. "I will steal the position as queen from this gorilla! Drop the pants Yato!" Ah, I don't wanna get naked in public. "I will be showing you how someone actually sucks a dick!" Ah, I'm okay with getting naked in public!
Before I can take off my pants as ordered, Rin steps out of her house. "Wait! Don't go getting naked here Yato! Though I guess is not like anyone would see it here...! Nope, stay clothed!" Did Rin develop a second personality or something? Please make up your mind in whether I should get naked or not.
Luvia pouts. "Don't interfere Queen Gorilla! Just stay still and watch... actually look the other way... while I steal your throne!" Rin has a throne!? Now I kind of want to steal that myself! Actually, now that I think about it, is it really stealing when I own Rin? Also why does Luvia keep called Rin a gorilla?
Rin glares at my childhood friend. "Okay, what's your problem with me? You have been treating me as an enemy since you arrived here... This harem is a pit of treachery and snakes, and trust me, you don't want to be bitten by me." I don't have any snake concubine though.
Luvia smirks, and then laughs like an insane person as usual. "Ohohohoho! My name is Luviagelita Edelfelt, isn't that reason enough?" Not really. I'm pretty sure if I kill the prime minister and then scream that my name is Yato Shibata, people will still be mad at me.
Rin snarls. "Yeah, it is enough. Cow." It is!? Why though!? "Yato take her off the harem right now, and make sure to call her worthless while doing so." Um... No? Why would I do that? Luvia has plenty of utility, like taking me to your house.
Luvia then chuckles. "Threatened are we? How pathetic, as expected of a Tohsaka. Don't worry though, you can always kidnap Yato and throw him into your basement until he agrees with whatever you say. You know, like a true Tohsaka." D-damn, Luvia has reached levels of venom comparable to my rejection. Even if I don't really understand what she's talking about, there's no way Rin can keep me in a basement.
My first concubine's eyebrow twitches. "It was seduction. So watch what you say about both my grandfather, and my grandmother!" She glares at me. "Yato tell her to not make fun of my grandparents." Well, making fun of someone's grandparents is indeed very mean...
Before I can say anything though, Luvia just snorts. "Whatever, if you gorilla's want to call rape seduction, feel free to do so. Actually considering how Yato 'acquires' concubines, maybe for the Tohsaka rape really is romantic? Affection for him is clearly visible on your face after all, you truly look like a maiden in love, even if a very dumb one." Is Luvia implying I get concubines through rape!? I can't rape things I own, dummy. By the way rape is bad, obviously.
Rin blushes bright red. "S-shut up, I'm not the one offering Yato a blowjob in public like the world's biggest scheming whore!" I feel like my harem says the word 'whore' a lot. Which feels kind of mean, we shouldn't be ashamed of our sexuality like that!
Which is why I should tell Rin's story with pride. "Yeah, Rin didn't suck my dick in public! She sucked my dick in private! While Caren, Sakura and Illya watched." For some reason the twin tailed magus looks like her heart has fallen into despair.
Luvia immediately bursts into laughter. "Amazing, the Tohsaka truly are an amazing family of perverted gorillas!" Wait so Rin is a gorilla just like you are a cow!? The world is bigger than I thought!
I give Rin a look filled with wonder, a nice contrast to her face filled with pain. "Rin are you really a gorilla!? Could you win against a tiger in a fight!?" Now I can finally start asking the important questions humanity has always wanted to ask!
Rin pouts, she's also teary eyed. To be honest she doesn't really resemble a gorilla that much. "Of course I'm not a damn gorilla! H-how could you take her s-side? Even after what I did for you..." I'm not taking her side! I'm just curious, specially now that you have confirmed your species as human. Seriously why is Luvia calling you that?
I tilt my head in confusion. "I don't pick sides, I believe in the Soviet Harem. But it's just that since Luvia is a cow, I thought maybe you really could be a gorilla." For all I know, Sakura is a little worm! Or Shiro is a living sword! The world is complicated...
For some reason, this time it is Luvia who falls into despair, while Rin immediately brightens up. "Yeah, she is a cow isn't she!?" I nod, confirming Rin's suspicions towards the species of my childhood friend. "That's right she's a cow! A cow!" Why did you have to repeat that? It's not like you go around calling me a human... Then again, Waver did start calling Luvia a cow, which is why I imitated him. I guess I just don't know enough about cow culture.
While Luvia falls into a deep depression, Rin fakes a cough and escapes her state of euphoria. "So what do you need Yato...? Or D-did you come here just to see me?" Wow, Rin is all blushy. People really change after sucking dick.
I better crush her misconceptions though. So I raise a hand in denial. "Nope, I didn't come here just to see you." Though soon I won't have to visit Rin's house if ever want that, she will be living in my house after all! As all haremettes should!
Immediately Rin's smile fades away. "Die. Just die Yato." Ah! She went back to normal Rin mode! "Whatever it is that you want, it better not be complicated." It's not, I just want you to live somewhere else! It's not like I will be asking her to be my concubine, because she already is.
I smile. "Don't worry Rin. It's just that my two mansions have finished building, so... all of my harem will be moving into them! Including you!" Rin's eyes widen in surprise. "That's why I came here, I'm gonna go to everyone else's house too." Wow, I might even see Bug Man again, I wonder if he will sell me another granddaughter?
Rin starts tapping her foot while muttering. "Dumbass idiot, bringing cows to my home and then asking for the impossible...!" She glares at me. "I can't just move out you idiot! How am I gonna transfer my workshop!? And you expect me to leave it so close to so many other families too!?" Yeah. What's the problem?
Luvia escapes from depression to mock him. "Well, it's not like anyone cares about your research anyways. If the Einzberns or Matous wanted to steal something, they would obviously aim at the source of your magecraft... me!" How is it Rin's magecraft if it's yours? That makes no sense whatsoever. Dummy.
Rin glares at her, though maybe calling glare is giving it too much praise, it's more like Rin is looking at an ant. "Shut up Edelfelt, no one asked for you opinion. Cow." And like that, Luvia returns to depressed mode... Maybe I should ask for her opinion more?
I send a smile towards her. "Cow, I am currently asking for your opinion. Please give it to me as soon as possible." I ignore Rin's betrayed look. Really what's up with her? I'm just trying to make Luvia escape her depression.
My childhood's friend expression morphs into a strange mixture of sadness and happiness. "Thank you Yato... Why cow though!?" Because I accept everyone is different, and there's nothing wrong with that! No need to thank me, it's nothing special, just the bare minimum respect everyone should receive really. "Anyways, Tohsaka shouldn't worry about having her workshop close to others, or moving it..."
Luvia continues, looking at Rin. "I mean, you were planning to go to the Clock Tower eventually right? Besides, if we keep looking for knives on the hands of other concubines, we will go crazy." My childhood friend smiles. "So don't worry about it!" You guys are looking for knives? Just go to the kitchen.
Rin sighs. "I guess that's true, but..." She turns back, looking at her house and then starts muttering. "This is the ancestral home of my family... The cold, always quiet ancestral home that was passed down onto me..." She snorts, and then looks back to me. "And you want me to go towards a place where everyone will never ever shut up, where there will be someone causing trouble everyday?" She looks down. "Where I'm going to live with Sakura...?" I don't get why you're bringing her up, but okay.
I give her a thumbs. "Yep, let's go get Sakura already." I don't want to bother her when it's really late, just when it's sort of late! That's because her grandpa is very clearly ancient, and probably sleeps early.
Rin chuckles. "Okay then, no problems my dumb Campione. Let's go get Sakura and the brat." Mission accomplished!
AN: A tsundere's weakness... Stockholm Syndrome!