"It doesn't matter how much gold you wear. In the end, a rat is still a rat." Suddenly the shopping trip between me and Cleopatra is interrupted.
It's funny that this guy is talking about gold, because he himself might be the human incarnation of it. He's wearing gaudy clothes full of yellow after all, and his hair is a pretty striking blonde too.
Welp, I don't know why he suddenly blocked our path, but he isn't wrong. "Yeah, gold doesn't exactly change someone's species. You would need something different for that." Like magecraft. Or advanced science, maybe?
He laughs. And laughs. And laughs some more.
Cleopatra interjects. "Master, I don't think he was being literal. He was insulting you, the metaphor here being that even though you are now wearing luxurious clothing, you still are a lesser being."
I hum. "Oh...! That makes tons of sense, thanks Cleo!" She smiles with my compliment, a blush on her face. Though she has been blushing at pretty much anything I do since last night.
She giggles. "You're welcome, it's only natural I will be here for you...!" She then tilts her head. "But aren't you gonna punish that man?" He's still laughing by the way. Doesn't that hurt? Doesn't he need to breathe?
I shrug. "Nah... It's true that I don't exactly feel like a new man." I don't like saying that, because it makes Cleopatra feel sad, but I guess I'm just not an expensive clothes type of yguy.
The most fun I had today which revolved around throwing money away was calling Waver and discussing the things we planned yesterday. The most fun I had which didn't involve money was getting a titfuck from Luvia and Shiro of course.
Cleopatra pouts. "Maybe that will change once we actually buy you some gold...?" I guess, but I feel like I'm more of a blue guy than a yellow guy. "Anyhow..." She then points at the man. "You shouldn't let him talk so freely about you, no matter the reason!"
The golden man finally stops laughing. "There has been a misunderstanding here, I did not aim my insult at the Campione." Wait, he knows I'm one!? He knows about Campiones in general!? "I aimed it at you, the whore who brought down Egypt." He motions to Cleo.
How does he even know her true identity? Though I guess she has been introducing herself to random people as Cleopatra...
Cleopatra flinches. "Y-you...! Who even are you anyways!?" I'm curious about it too, I should probably learn the name of the person I'm about to kill after all.
He snorts. "Of course you wouldn't know. Only a true king would!" He then points at me. "Yato Shibata, tell me... what is my name!" Isn't this guy way too weird? My anger is slowly evaporating, because I think he's just crazy...
I raise a hand. "I have no idea who you are. Also, apologize to my concubine before I beat you up."
He flinches, as if I had punched him. "Y-you do not know who I am!?" Should I? "I-I...! I am Gilgamesh! King of Heroes! And without a doubt the king of the wor-, I once was the king of the world!" Huh...
Is this guy a Servant? I thought they couldn't be summoned right now normally without cheating. Yeah, he might genuinely just be crazy after all. And I guess I shouldn't kill the mentally ill.
Cleopatra scowls. "So you're a Servant like me? What, you want to fight?" She gets in a combat stance, one that relies purely on martial arts. Could it be that my new concubine was a shounen protagonist all along!?
He shakes his head. "I am a Servant, but no, I have nothing against the new King of Japan." He laughs again. "In fact, I'm rather happy a new successor has appeared!" Well, I guess I really am that, if he was once the king of the world.
I sigh. "So, what exactly do you want anyways? Also, apologize to my concubine already." I'm feeling depressed now. Someone cucked me out of having an extra servant... He better not he a Saber.
He waves me off. "Sure, sure... She may have been a unworthy queen, but I suppose she's just fine as a lowly concubine." What do you mean by lowly? It's a respectable profession.
Cleopatra takes a few steps back. "I'm a genius you know, so why are people so focused on my body!?" You are not gonna like what the popular media says about you then. Also, being smart is a good quality for a concubine too!
Gilgamesh chuckles. "Clearly you weren't enough of one." He then crosses his arms. "But if you two are wondering why I came here... Then the answer is simple! I wish to know why a Campione would pursue something as boring as the Holy Grail!"
"People of your kind should seek higher pursuits...! Yes, that is what your elder sibling taught me! And so, I must absolutely not let you walk the wrong path, since you're a baby." So you met a older sibling of mine?
Doni maybe? He visited Fuyuki not too long ago after all. It's kind of difficult to imagine him not immediately fighting a Servant though, and I'm pretty sure I would realize if such a giant battle was going on.
Cleopatra's eye twitches. "How is the Holy Grail boring? It can realize literally any wish!" Because the journey is part of the fun, yada yada. That said, I do agree the Holy Grail is pretty neat.
At least when it's being used as a dating app. Or a fighting app. The last is kinda useless for me, but it's mostly 'cause I'm way too strong, if I was just a normal samurai born in a era of peace I would love the second feature.
Gilgamesh groans. "Ugh, looking at you really is pathetic. A woman who simply wants to love, passing herself as Queen. Though I suppose you are better than Ishtar in every way imaginable at least." That's some ancient goddess, right?
Cleopatra scoffs. "I will admit, love is wonderful, and I love being in love, but... There's nothing that says I can't be both an amazing lover and a glorious queen!" That's true! Slay queen!
Gilgamesh scowls. "Fool...! The thing a king should love above everything is himself! Someone such as you who only devotes herself, can never be a true queen!"
"Yes, if you hadn't been foolish, if you had taken the reigns instead of letting your equally foolish lover run wild... The biological son of Julius Caesar would have been the first emperor of Rome, not his adopted one!" Cleopatra actually flinches at that.
Okay, that's it, I'm breaking this guy's jaw.
I immediately move my body as fast as I can, aiming to punch his head off in a single blow. The sound I make is horrible due to my sheer speed, if a normal person were near me, their eardrums would have burst from it.
My fist reaches close to his cheek, but then it's definitely by a... lightning bolt? Yeah, a lightning bolt hits my fist, and it actually slows me down a bit. Not really because it's powerful, but because I do have nerves, and they don't tend to react well to electricity.
Gilgamesh jumps back with that time, and suddenly he's wearing an armor made entirely of gold. "Hah! As aggressive as your sister!" His words probably only reached my ears, all the windows of the store just shattered after all, clouding the noise.
People are now running away and screaming, a normal reaction to have when a lightning bolt suddenly enters a store, and the sound barrier is broken by... something. Not that I care about them.
I extend my hand, and begin my chant. "Calm down my flustered heart..." It seems my authority has considered this as Gilgamesh challenging me. It makes sense, since it's probably working off my perspective of things...
And offending my concubine like that is definitely a challenge.
Gilgamesh grins. "No point on holding back against your kind...!" And a golden portal appears close to his hand, from it he draws a cylinder shaped sword. It's definitely dangerous, so I'll try cutting his arm off first.
But then Cleopatra interrupts me. "Yato, wait! A king must not destroy his own kingdom!" She sounds so worried that it makes genuinely pause. And so does Gilgamesh, funnily enough.
I stutter. "B-but he was mean to you!" Even now I can see tears in the corner of her eyes. Just that sight alone is already almost enough for me to go Super Campione. Though I don't actually think Super Campione is a thing.
Cleopatra claps her hands, a blush on her face. "I know, and I'm feeling super happy you are defending me!" So I gained extra love points...? Nice. "But please look around you!"
I do as she says, and I... see nothing special. "It's alright! No one else I care about is near us!" Now that I have assured her everything is gonna be okay, I can go back to focusing on the fight.
Cleopatra sputters. "T-that's not the point Yato! These are your subjects, so you should be more aware of them!" But you are one of the only subjects I actually care about! Also, how am I gonna fight this guy without collateral damage.
Gilgamesh however... throws his sword back into the portal. "Even a broken clock is correct twice a day, huh?" And then his armor disappears. "Yato Shibata, I would like to apologize. Not for speaking my mind, but for doing so with the intention of hurting your concubine." Huh? What's with this sudden change of attitude?
He nods to himself. "Yes, I have decided to give away my kingdom to the legends of today. Throwing a tantrum now that it's not my garden is simply wrong of me." So we aren't fighting...? Lame!
He continues. "Besides, Cleopatra... A king should love himself above all others, that's what Yato Shibata should be, and that's what you should have been... Now however, this new role entrusted upon you... it fits. I declare you Queen of Concubines!" Wow, what an honor.
Cleopatra blushes. "Why would I even want that title!?" I think it's cool, but you probably don't deserve it yet. I mean, you only ever gave me a blowjob after all. For now I'll secretly consider Rin the queen of concubines.
This time I'm the one sighing. "So... We are all cool now? There's no need to fight anymore?" It feels weird to ask that, considering I'm the one who actually escalated this in a fight, but Gilgamesh definitely knew what he was doing.
Of course insulting someone's lover would lead to a fight, that's just common sense.
Gilgamesh grins. "You sure are bloodthirsty... Tell me, did you pursue the Holy Grail to look for more fights? Is that it?" And suddenly I'm reminded that I never explained why I was after the Holy Grail in the first place.
I shake my head. "Nah, I'm way stronger than any Heroic Spirit." His eye twitches at that, but he doesn't object. "I'm actually looking for cute girls to add to my harem... Though if I end up summoning a guy, it wouldn't be the end of the world either."
I point to Cleopatra. "As you already have figured out, she's my concubine, but the truth is that I have way more. That's because both fighting and bullying cute girls is great!" There you go, that's my real objective.
I nod to myself. "And the Grail is a great source of cute girls, so I'm using all my concubines who have Command Seals to cheat and expand my harem." Right now I can only have three servants.
But I was hoping to get all seven eventually, somehow... Sadly some jerk summoned Gilgamesh, stealing a spot. And this King of Heroes isn't even a nice dude like Doni either, he's just as bad as his thieving Master.
A weird gleam appears on his eyes. "I see... I see...! Not bad at all King of Japan! And through Cleopatra I can see you have good taste too!" You were trash talking her a moment ago.
Cleopatra raises an eyebrow. "Talk about mood swings... Not uncommon for royalty, but I never saw ones this bad." Yeah, even you don't reach his level!
Gilgamesh laughs. "Of course! Since I am the greatest king... of old, I will have the biggest mood swings as well!" Please stop sounding so proud of it. "Anyways, have you prepared any catalysts, Yato Shibata?"
Should I answer that? Ah, whatever. "Well, I summoned Assassin here without a catalyst. I have a catalyst ready for Saber, and I'm hoping to summon Caster, but I haven't decided on which one yet..." For now I just said Waver should look for a catalyst in general.
He laughs. "Then rejoice Yato Shibata! As a gift towards a new king... and as an apology to a man I offended carelessly, I shall give you the most exotic concubine of them all! The future crown jewel of your harem!"
"A Servant who shall outshine all others, a being who's mere existence as your sex pet shall bring other gods to challenge you, quenching your lust for battle! Yes! It shall be the greatest gift of them all!" That sounds great and all, but...
"Sorry, I'll pass." His eyes widen. "I mean I'm grateful for your offer and all, but I only have two Servant spots remaining, and I'm not wasting them by trusting a guy I don't know." I rather trust Waver and Illya's catalysts.
Cleopatra interjects. "Actually Yato, I think we should take his offer?" I raise an eyebrow in her direction. "He doesn't strike me as a liar or a manipulator. Annoying as it is to admit, the reason why his insults hurt... is because he's Gilgamesh. The Gilgamesh." I... I see.
Gilgamesh nods. "As previously said, a woman worthy of the Queen of Concubines title!" Cleopatra scowls, I think she's still hasn't accepted the fact that her position is a prestigious one.
Which is weird, since she seemed to know how important a crotch warmer was... Maybe it's because we are also sort of insulting her life as a queen...? Nah, a Queen of Concubines is obviously above a Pharaoh after all.
Gilgamesh points at me. "So Yato Shibata, call upon one of your lovers, and then we shall leave this place!" He looks around. "I have a feeling law enforcement is on its way." Right, we destroyed a bunch of stuff.
Well, if Cleopatra says it's a good idea. "Fine, I'll accept your gift that is also an apology. Whoever you are summoning better be super hot though... and also a Caster!" I have my Saber spot chosen already... "Hey, you aren't a Saber, right?" If he is...
Then maybe we will fight after all.
He waves me off. "I am an Archer." Weird, considering I'm pretty sure that was a sword you were bringing out, but I won't be against good news. "And worry not, your Caster shall be unlike any other...!" Hopefully in a good way.
"Right." I take my cellphone out of my pocket. I'm gonna call Rin, since Sakura is definitely gonna be summoning Saber... The tough part here is that my concubine might not take the call for a variety of reasons.
First is the fact that Rin doesn't do well with technology, hell the only reason she's carrying a phone around is to either talk with me, or to talk with Waver. Second, she's in class right now, which means her phone is probably turned off...
To my surprise however, my call is immediately responded. "Yato~...! Ah, I was going crazy without you!" There's a ton of other voices on the background, and they seem full of surprise.
I think... I think Rin genuinely answered the call in the middle of class.
That's... cute? Yeah, that's cute, so I blush. "I was missing you too... Is everything going well there?" I'm guessing my girlfriend is gonna get suspended again. Right after she came back. Ouch.
She giggles. "Now that you're talking with me everything is going great~! Ayako has been kind of annoying today though... She really wanted to talk about you, but then I told her she wasn't worthy of your time!" Right, I forgot she existed.
A voice shouts in the background. "Tohsaka...!?" It has been there for a while, but now it's so loud that I can clearly hear it. And it's definitely a voice belonging to Fujimura-Sensei too.
And Rin completely ignores her. "So Yato, do you need something...? You can ask me anything as usual~!" My mind crashes. I still haven't truly accepted the fact that this Rin is so... different from the one I knew.
But it isn't bad. "Yeah, I... It's a long story, but I actually stumbled onto an Archer servant." She gasps. "But he's actually gonna help us summon a cool Caster. That's why I need you to go home right now."
I leave out the fact that we fought in public, I don't want to factory reset her into being a tsundere.
It takes some time for her to respond, but at least she still sounds cheery. "Okaaaay! I'll be right there, sweetie!" I don't know how to feel about being called that. It sounds a bit too maternal to my liking.
And then Taiga finally snaps. "Tohsaka, that's it! Turn your cellphone off right now, and go to the principal's office!" Yeah, she's getting suspended for sure. Since this is partially my fault, sorry Rin.
"Eh...? Who the hell do you think you are, you virgin!? I can talk with my boyfriend whenever I want!" No, she's not just getting suspended, she might get expelled. "And he needs me right now, so I'm not wasting my time with some old losers like you and the principal!" I end the call.
Even I am not bloodthirsty enough to want to hear what's about to go down.
"Are we sure we can trust him, Yato...?" Rin whispers on my ear. She's talking about Gilgamesh of course, who's creating some sort of complicated ritual while we talk.
At first it started off as normal, he drew the ritual circle, put some gems around it, put a red wand as a catalyst, but then... He started making more and more circles, and started putting many objects on them, from jewelry to weaponry.
I whisper back. "Yeah, probably. Cleopatra said it's okay." And as she likes to remind us, she's a genius. Assassin is also watching Gilgamesh like a hawk, to see if he tries something suspicious. "By the way, how did school go for you?"
She pouts and looks away. "I hate it, you're not there... Well, I always disliked it, because no one would ever approach me... because I made sure no one could approach me. Now that I have you though, being separated is unbearable." Wow... is this loser really Rin Tohsaka?
Well, she's my loser, so I pull her into a side hug. "Don't worry Rin, your body will never forget me anyways." Because I took her virginity and stuff. According to hentai that's how it works at least.
She blushes. "Yes, my heart can never forget you." She totally misunderstood my intent. "But if you're wondering, I didn't get expelled, only suspended. Apparently Fujimura-Sensei felt a bit of pity for me, since normally I'm a great student." How surprising.
Fujimura-Sensei is great of course, but even her patience has it's limits... which tend to be very short. Maybe Shiro spoke up in favor of Rin? Ah, whatever, even if she got expelled I would use my authority to allow her back into the school anyways.
Gilgamesh suddenly laughs. "And so it's done!" He points at Rin. "Heart eyed girl, begin the summoning, and bring someone from another place entirely!" Another place entirely...? It really is gonna be something exotic, huh.
Rin just hugs me tighter. "I don't even recognize any of the circles you drew!" She looks at me. "Seriously Yato, do you truly want to trust this guy?" Well, even if he summons a god, I will just kill it.
Gilgamesh smirks. "Worry not heart eyed one... For not even I know what I just drew! I was simply following my wisdom!" How is it wisdom if you don't know what you're doing...? Could you be one of my people...?
While Rin's eye twitches, Cleo interjects. "Don't worry Rin, this guy is the King of Heroes after all... If he was born in the modern era he would probably have become a Campione one way or another. Probably." Is that a good sign, or a bad one though?
Rin walks forward. "Whatever, as long as Yato is okay with this... then I'm down for anything." She begins chanting the same words Illyasviel did, her hand shining bright red.
I tense my body, just in case. The servant could be hostile, Gilgamesh could betray us... Maybe the Holy Grail could explode after being abused, I don't know. Either way I'll be ready for anything.
The Servant suddenly appears in a blink, her summoning doesn't even create smoke... Maybe because Gilgamesh's ritual is simply way too advanced? An Archer with skills comparable with a Caster, and some super crazy sword... What a weirdo.
But he doesn't matter right now, what matters is the new Caster Servant. She immediately smiles, looking like the picture of elegance and beauty. "Ara, I didn't think such a little one would manage to summon me... But considering the company you keep." Her gaze shifts between Gilgamesh and Cleopatra.
She probably doesn't know I'm a Campione. Prey that is unaware really is too funny.
Yeah, she's prey alright, because all I can think about is how I want to either tame her into my woman, or cut her up until she becomes a corpse.
Her gaze goes back to Rin. "Well, let me introduce myself, I am Scáthach=Skadi queen of the second Los-... Nevermind that for now. Just be glad you have summoned a goddess. And call me Skadi!" I see, so that's why I...
Rin's eyes widen. "A goddess!? Skadi!?" And then she immediately looks at me.
Cleopatra has a similar reaction. "H-he summoned a goddess!? A real deal goddess!?" She gets into a combat stance, probably expecting me to jump Skadi as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
Skadi giggles. "Oh? Those reactions are truly adorable... Though it seems this one doesn't like me..." She's talking about me of course, since I'm pretty sure I never glared at someone with such emotion in my life until now.
It's not even hatred, it's just instinct. I will either die against this woman, or break her, there is no other choice. What can be interpreted in multiple ways is the break part of course.
I ignore her and look at Gilgamesh. "Would I get an authority if I killed her?" Skadi immediately takes a step back, I don't know if she even knows about Campiones, but Rin does have Command Seals, so this would be easy.
I wouldn't say she looks scared though, mostly surprised. "Have I wronged you somehow...? No, that would be impossible." Yeah, there's no way she could, we never met. I repeat, I don't hate her, I simply want her to be beneath me.
Gilgamesh shakes his head. "No. She's not even at full power after all, the Servant container highly restricts her." He then smiles. "She won't provide you with too much raw power... But a Campione having a goddess for a sex slave is simply too good to pass up on, no?" Yeah...
Absolutely!
I grin from the bottom of my heart. "You're totally right! Sorry for disliking you at first, because you're not a douche, you're just golden Waver!" Maybe I should be the one giving him an apology gift.
Skadi however, very much heard all of this sex slave talk. So with a blushing scowl she summon her wand... "What are you all discussing!?" And then gets captured by many chains. "Ah!?" Those chains having left golden portals of course.
Gilgamesh crosses his arms. "We are discussing how you are now a concubine! Be glad goddess, your useless body will finally be put to some use!" That sounds kinda sexist my dude.
While Skadi sputters, I walk closer to her and cup her chin, the sight of her being suspended by chains is super erotic. "Ah...! You're just the best! I'm gonna enjoy playing with you!" I feel like a kid on Christmas.
She struggles against her chains, to no avail of course. "This...! This...! Is still better than my previous situation..." For a moment she stops... and then she goes back to struggling. "But it's still awful! Can't a man ask for my hand normally for once!?"
Geez, what a drama queen... an adorable drama queen!
AN: I know a lot of you were expecting some big fight between Gil and Yato... But as you can see, Golden Boy ain't about that life anymore. He has seen the gods and their pitiful attempts at clinging to power after their era, so there's no way he would do the same.
He finds much better to help and give advice to the new generation. That is to say, Dadgamesh is here, or Big Brogamesh, whatever you prefer.
Also, Skadi has been picked as the Caster! I actually think she gets overshadowed a lot by Scáthach when it comes to being used in fics... Which makes sense, considering her lore and all, but Gilgamesh chose her for that exact reason!
She also fulfills the godly waifu spot that every single Campione needs. Probably. Skadi plap, plap, plap next chapter.
Anyways, if you like my content, make sure to check out my ! For just two dollars, you could get two chapters of this fic in advance!