Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.
March 31st, 2252 (Jim's POV)
I woke up suddenly, with a stab of fear and my heart beating a million miles an hour. Was I having a nightmare? No. Was there anything for me to be afraid of? No. Which meant only one thing - it was Julia's fear I was feeling. Part of our twintuition.
Blinking, I sat up, rubbing the side of my head. Why was it we had to have this weird twin connection thing? I mean, it was helpful when Julia was in trouble when she still lived here at the farmhouse but now...She was at the Academy and -
"Shit." I said, realizing that today was when the shuttles left for the Academy, and the bet I made with Admiral Pike. I struggled out of bed, tossing aside my bed sheets and pulling on the closest pair of shoes. I was still in my clothes from last night, bloody as they were. After I pulled my shoes on I checked the P.A.D.D. Julia got me and checked the time. It was 0730. Great - only half an hour to go.
That really got my heart pumping. I never backed down from a bet - even if I made it when I was drunk. Which I was when I made that bet with Pike. I had the hangover headache to prove it.
I grabbed a few essentials and stuffed them into a knapsack (underwear, extra shirt, P.A.D.D., watch Mom got me, a holo-photo of the four of us before Frank came in the picture). Then I was down stairs, not even caring if I woke anyone up. I scrawled a quick note for Mom letting her know I was going, grabbed a few slices of bread, and then ran out for my motorcycle. I was not gonna miss this shuttle.
(Spock's POV)
Julia and I had checked out of the hotel, and were now on our way to the shuttles. I glanced at her as I drove, disconcerted at how strange she was acting. I knew it was possible she could be reacting to the medication she took, however...the fear and worry I sensed in her when we touched had me concerned.
I did not want to push her, however...I was very worried. Her eyes were glazed over now, and she was clutching her duffel bag as if it were a lifeline. Ever since she ran in with Devon, she'd been different.
"Julia…" I said, trying to figure out the best way to word my question. I wanted to know why she was afraid, but I didn't want to let her know that I knew she was afraid. "You seem a bit...off today."
"I-I do?" Julia asked, stammering a little. She glanced at me nervously, and I wondered if I should have just kept silent. I gave slight nod, my ears picking up the sound of her nails tapping along the door handle. "Must be the medication."
"I highly doubt that," I said bluntly. Julia gave me a look, and I couldn't tell if she was afraid, angry, or annoyed. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. "The medication was not meant to affect your mental well being - merely to block the pain of your foot and sleep more quickly."
"I know what it does, Spock." Julia stated, and I could tell by her voice she was angry. She folded her arms and looked pointedly out the window, away from me. We were nearing the parking lot for the car rental, which was conveniently located near the shuttles.
"I did not mean to make you angry," I said, pulling into the lot and looking for a parking spot. I made it a point to drive slowly around, hoping that she would tell me what was wrong. We were getting married soon. And, being half-Vulcan, I possessed telepathy. When Julia and I were bonded in marriage, I would be able to read her mind, and even communicate with her (if our bond was strong enough, that is. After all, I am only half-Vulcan). Before that happened, I wanted Julia to trust me. I wanted her to feel safe to tell me everything and anything that was on her mind, to share her fears with me. "It is just...I'm worried about you, Julliana. When our shoulders touched in the elevator, you froze up, and I sensed -"
"Can't you ever turn off your telepathy?!" She snapped at me, turning around and glaring at me. I froze, my foot pressing on the brake. "It's like I never get any privacy when I'm around you, Spock. It's always "I sense this", "You're upset" - well what if I don't want you to know what I'm feeling, huh? Would it be so hard to just let me think my own thoughts in private!"
"Julia," I said, feeling my own anger begin to spark. I was just worried about her, and she was getting upset with me because of that. "Vulcans inherit touch telepathy, it is not something we can turn off."
"But you're not just a Vulcan," Julia said, meeting my eyes. "You're a human too, Spock."
"That has no relevance in this situation." I stated, my jaw clenching. This conversation had to end soon, my temper was getting out of control and I wanted to punch something.
"Oh, I think it does." She replied, her voice full of mockery. My hands clenched the steering will until they turned white, and I felt the wheel begin to break under my grip.
"This is not about me," I said, concentrating on keeping eye contact with Julia. I could tell from just looking at her that she was hurting - but why wouldn't she tell me? Didn't she trust me? And why, in the name of Surak, did she feel the need to lash out at me? "This is about you, and the way you are avoiding my questions."
Julia blinked and opened her mouth to defend herself, but I spoke first, turning slightly, my hands still on the steering wheel.
"You have been acting strange ever since you saw Devon. I know he did things to you, you showed me what happened. I understand how that may be affecting you. What I do not understand is the reason you are not telling me what is wrong now. Is it something I did? Was it something I said? I do not know - because you do not trust me enough to tell me." I said, my anger slowly ebbing away to hurt. A very troubling thought came to mind. "Julia, please, just tell me what is bothering you...Are you...having second thoughts about our marriage?"
(Julia POV)
I stared at Spock, my eyes locked with his. Inside, my emotions were a mess. I still felt that old fear, that someone was going to push me up against the car against my will - even though I knew Spock wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Not to mention, I was upset at myself for trying to hide this from him. I knew he was touch telepathic - I should have known not to let any of our skin touch in this state…
And now I'd made things worse by getting all defensive and turning the conversation on him. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just come out and say I was having some trouble getting over what happened when I was sixteen?
"I…" I said, tears forming in my eyes. His anger was valid...I wasn't telling him everything, and I should have known better than to try to hide my feelings from him. His eyes bored into mine, and I saw the anger, and the hurt, swirling in those brown irises. I still felt angry...and I knew whatever I said to defend myself was gonna hurt him. So I did the next best thing. "No. It's not you."
After I said those words, I unbuckled and got out of the car, slamming the door before Spock could protest. Then I started to walk towards the shuttles. From behind me, I heard a car door open.
"Julia -" Spock's voice was interrupted by a honk from an angry driver. I felt my tears start to fall, so I clutched my duffel to me and started to run as best I could with my crutches. I couldn't do this right now. I needed to be along with my emotions right now. I had to have some time for me to just sit and cry, with no one to say that it was illogical or try and cheer me up.
My vision blurry, I could barely see where I was going. I didn't even realize I'd made it to the shuttle bay until I bumped into someone.
"Hey!" My brother's voice said, and I gasped when Jim turned around. I blinked and stared at him. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw me. "Jules - are you okay?"
"No." I said, my voice shaking, tears still pouring down my face. Jim gave me a sympathetic look and put an arm around my shoulder, tossing the keys to his motorcycle, which was sitting nearby, to someone.
"Come on, lets find a nice little spot where you can calm down." He said, leading me inside. I nodded. I glanced behind us as we went inside the shuttle, and let him sit me down in one of three empty seats. He sat next to me, an arm still around me. "Okay. Spill the beans, Julia - what's wrong?"
Before I could answer, a young woman with black hair and dark brown skin cleared her voice. I knew her from one of Spock's Xenolinguistics classes, Nyota Uhura, I think her name is. I felt a pang of regret and guilt for leaving Spock like that. I should have stayed there. I should have explained what was going on with me. But no - like a coward I ran away.
"You should beware of him," She said, pointing to Jim. Jim raised an eyebrow at her, and I gave her a confused look. "He's a heart breaker."
"Oh," I said, feeling somewhat sick as I got her drift. She thought Jim was hitting on me. "No, you have got things all wrong. He's my brother. My twin brother."
"Yeah." Jim agreed, giving his head a shake. "No offense, Jules, but just the thought of dating you -"
"Blegh!" I said, making a gagging motion with my mouth. Nyota's eyes went wide and she sat back in her seat.
"Wait, you guys are related?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Jim asked. Usually, he would ruffle my hair to emphasize this - but he could tell I was pretty upset, so he didn't. I sniffed and nodded, managing to smile a little.
"Oh - I am so sorry," She said, looking between us. "I didn't mean to imply you were practicing incest at all."
"It's okay," I said, wiping away my tears with the palm of my hand. "I needed a laugh anyways…"
"Yeah, looks like your foot took quite a beating," Nyota said, and I let out a wry laugh.
"That's not what I was talking about," I said, glancing out the shuttle door. I didn't see Spock...but I knew he was going to get here sooner or later. Hopefully the shuttle would leave before then.
"Which brings me back to my main question," Jim said, glancing at Nyota with raised eyebrows. "Unless, of course, you want to talk about your name…?"
"No." Nyota said, and I smiled a little bit more. I shook my head at Jim. He really, really could not take rejection. One night stands? Yes. Rejection? Not so much.
"Okay - back to you, then." Jim said, turning back to me. I had my emotions under a lot more control, now...and no way was I going to talk about what was bothering me. There were literally hundreds of cadets sitting in the shuttle, and any one of them might be listening in for good gossip.
"I'm fine, now." I lied, putting on what I hoped was a reassuring smile. Jim opened his mouth to protest, but someone started yelling.
"Sir - I need you to sit down."
"Let go of me - I want to stay in the bathroom!"
"You can't stay in the bathroom when we take off - it's not safe!"
"I'm a doctor, dammit! I know what's safe and what's not!"
"Excuse me," Jim said, getting up and walking towards them. I watched him go, and wondered who that voice belonged to. It sounded...really familiar. "You said you were a doctor?"
"What about it?" The doctor asked, turning to look at Jim. That's when I saw his face. It was Doctor McCoy, the guy who had tended to Spock's heart wound last time we were at the Rusty Nail.
"My sister needs a doctor," Jim said, and I felt myself bristle up at his comment. He could tell I didn't want to talk about anything - so he was dragging a professional in. Great…
"Nyota," I whispered, leaning over to the girl opposite me. She looked up. "Trade seats with me."
"What?" She asked, confused. "Why?"
"Please." I said, glancing over at Jim and McCoy. They were coming over now - and Jim saw what I was doing. Before I could even start to get up - he pushed McCoy over so he sat next to me, and then Jim sat next to him.
"Hey, hey - ya don't need to shove." McCoy grumbled, pushing Jim's hand off his shoulder. I clutched my duffel bag close to me, and let out a sigh. Too late. I was stuck here. Well, might as well push my bag below my seat and buckle up.
Sorry for the late update! I was trying to figure out how this chapter was going to go for so long - literally I have ten other possible chapters I wrote. However, this is the one I wanted to go with. I know it's...very emotional and angsty - but it's also going to lead to very personal heart-to-heart with Julia and Spock later on. I'll be working on the next chapter, but college has started so...I'll be working on that along with all my other stories so, no promises on a quick update.
Anyways, thank you all for the follows, favorites, and comments! I'm glad this story's so popular! I wasn't sure if it would be - but...well, it seems it is! Stay safe everybody! Till next chapter, live long and prosper!