Anomalous Solutions to Magical Problems

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Overlord or Tales from the SCP Foundation, and I earn no profit in writing this. It's just for fun.

Chapter 3

The fifth floor of the great tomb of Nazarick was a barren place. It was meant to be. That didn't mean that it was devoid of life, though, or that that life was idle. Two of Neuronist Painkill's aides were hurrying back to their mistress after running an errand when they spotted a stranger. As denizens of Nazarick, the two, while low level functionaries, were still expected to defend the tomb should something happen. An unfamiliar presence in their mistress' territory certainly warranted investigation.

They approached the odd figure that just seemed to be standing in the open examining his surroundings curiously. It appeared to be an elderly human man, which made no sense to them. How would a human have gotten to the 5th floor of Nazarick? Least of all an elderly human who seemed so ill-prepared for the conditions. The pervasive cold of the 5th floor didn't seem to bother the stranger, though. Curious, they approached, taking little in the way of precautions. Whoever he was, he didn't seem much of a threat.

"Are you lost?" one of them asked condescendingly as they flanked the stranger, ready for trouble in case he proved more than he seemed. "It's not a fit place to be wandering."

"Why don't you come with us?" the other said, causing the stranger to turn to look at her. She was no expert on humans, but this one didn't look at all healthy. He was clearly ancient with wrinkly, discolored skin and only a few wispy hairs on his head. Despite the open vest he wore with no shirt, he didn't seem to feel the cold. She briefly wondered if this was an undead that had somehow wandered from another floor, but that didn't concern her. Mistress Neuronist would sort it out.

The stranger regarded them curiously for a moment, but then, with a toothless grin, it nodded and politely indicated they should lead the way.

They led the stranger to the frozen prison, where their mistress did her work. Neither noticed that the stranger perked up at the sounds of their mistress hard at work on her art. The screams, pained sobs, and begging seemed to add a spring to the stranger's step. They entered the workroom of Neuronist Painkill and got their mistress' attention.

"What have we here?" their mistress asked, approaching curiously. "Have you brought me a new toy?"

Deprived of her direct attention, her latest victim's screams tapered off, leaving the room in relative quiet. It didn't last. The workroom was soon full of screams again.

OOOOOOOOOO

Demiurge sat in his private study inside the blazing temple, finalizing the work on his latest stratagem in the plans for the conquest of the Bahamuth empire. It would take a little over a month for those plans to come to fruition, which was vexing, but rushing could lead to unforeseen problems. In the meantime, there were a few other projects to work on. Their master was a patient person, but Demiurge was determined that the one that held his loyalty shouldn't have to wait too long. In the fullness of time, the world would belong to Ainz Ooal Gown.

So much to do, he mused, reaching blindly for the cup he had set aside earlier. Humans were wretched, inferior creatures, but some of their creations were quite enjoyable, like the tea in his cup. Pausing briefly to consider the source of the tea and the steps necessary to acquire the lands on which it was grown, he rested the cup in his free hand before bringing it to his lips. The smell from the cup immediately caused him to jerk back in shock and stare. His tea had been replaced with... He took a cautious sniff. Human waste?

Demiurge rose to his feet, his temper flaring, as he looked around his study. Whatever prankster was responsible for that outrage, he silently vowed, would drink their joke. Then, they would tell him precisely how they had gotten into his private residence without him noticing. After a moment, he frowned. There was no one there. A spell on the cup, perhaps? He cast several spells designed to dispel illusion and enhance his own senses. Then, he reached out with all of those senses and found nothing. There was no one in his home and no sign that anyone had been there. Strange.

On finding no one, he set the cup on the table to start a proper search. At least, he tried to. He couldn't let go of the cup. Pulling his hands apart accomplished nothing, as both adhered to the cup. He changed shape, but his hands, even in his fully demonic form, remained stuck, and for some reason, he was suddenly very thirsty.

OOOOOOOOOO

Ainz Ooal Gown considered the story he'd been told. Other worlds existed where the concept of magic was, apparently, very different. It even seemed to work by different rules. Fascinating. He knew that there had been no magic of any type in the world he came from, at least as far as he knew, but he was reasonably certain nothing like the SCP Foundation existed there. Clearly, the truth about what he had heard referred to as the multiverse in various works of fiction was real and far more complex than he or any of the writers he was aware of had suspected. The notion excited him. There was so much more to learn.

All of that had to be set aside for the moment, though. Something had to be done about the foreign magical items and creatures that seemed to be littering his kingdom. The reason behind the actions of the so-called Serpent's Hand were a mystery for the moment, and one that would need to be solved. His guests had told him what they knew of the group, but they were nearly as much of an enigma to them as they were to Ainz. Until an avenue of research into the group itself could be found, he simply had to deal with the problems they had caused.

He spent several moments quietly considering what he had been told and the various pathways forward. Securing his home took priority. Securing the safety and well-being of the people he now ruled would be the second. Learning about the nature of the alien magics being used would aid in accomplishing both of these goals. Eventually, he would need to cut off the source of these 'anomalies.' To do that, though, he would first need a proper understanding of the enemy's motives, methods, and of course, their magic.

Nazarick itself was inviolate. None of the missing SCPs the visitors had told him of would pose a threat even if they could breach the tomb's defenses, which was absurd. These random occurrences were likely just the group's way of testing the waters. The artifacts he'd seen so far were mere curiosities or irritants. The necklace one of his guests had given to Shaltear to calm her ire over the tomato incident was of the former.

The one called Nod had simply bought it from a merchant after recognizing it. Apparently, the merchant had been only too happy to be rid of the item, as his ordinary customers found it disturbing. Nod had traded a candy bar for SCP-533. The gift seemed to delight Shalltear, and Ainz' spells found no surprises beyond its unusual appearance, so he let it be.

"And you cannot tell which of these SCPs you are tracking until you actually see it?"

"That's right. Some give off stronger readings than others, but there is no indication of what they are until we lay eyes on them. If an anomaly is moving, that tends to narrow it down, but not by much. Several anomalous creatures went missing as well."

"So you mentioned. This is an interesting challenge," Ainz mused. "I believe I can help you get these pests out of my kingdom more quickly."

"Surely there are better uses of your time, my lord," Shalltear said.

"True, but they have stated that some of the missing items can be very dangerous, and that there are predatory species among the missing creatures. I see no reason to leave potential threats to my people running loose." Especially if one or more of those threats established itself as a new invasive species. Although it hadn't been one of his interests on his Earth, his memories of various news items and documentaries indicated that such things could throw an entire ecosystem into chaos. "The magic involved also intrigues me," he admitted.

He had a large map brought into the conference room and began casting spells on it. It showed several of the nearby kingdoms with major towns and cities. "This should do for a start." He held out a hand. "May I see that device?"

Cole handed it over without hesitation and watched as the lich cast what seemed to be variations on scrying spells and examining the heavily modified hume counter in a variety of ways. He muttered to himself occasionally as he worked and made careful adjustments to the device that Cole thought only a skilled technician would attempt. After examining the magics that governed it and a bit of experimentation, he integrated the spells governing the device into his map. The locations of several of the SCP objects popped up as if being displayed on a screen.

"Amazing," Schaefer breathed. "I've never seen anyone adapt and adjust different magics that quickly."

"That's lord Ainz for you," Shalltear said with pride in her voice.

"These magics are a bit finicky, but I've had centuries of practice." He examined the map, noting that they were spread randomly across the kingdom, but none were within a day's travel of Nazarick. That was good. "I see several concentrations." He pointed to a couple of spots out in the countryside. "These seem to be mobile, probably creatures of one sort or another, given the terrain in the area."

"That's about a day's march from here," Cole said, estimating the distance.

"I'll send some of my death knights to investigate," Ainz answered negligently. "That is their function."

"Not all of them are hostile," Schaefer pointed out, "though most are."

"The death knights will act accordingly," Ainz replied evenly. "Hmm. There seem to be several clustered together in Re-Estize." He pointed to a spot on the map beyond his kingdom's borders. "Albedo is there, visiting one of the noble families. Perhaps I should ask her to investigate." Even as they watched, however, the moving group of objects vanished. "Odd."

"Local hunters, maybe?" Schaefer offered. "A pack of those vicious red dog things would likely draw a quick response." The others nodded and Ainz dismissed the matter.

OOOOOOOOOO

Three hours before:

Albedo completed her preparations to depart Re-Estize. She couldn't wait to put the wretched place behind her and return to her beloved Ainz. In just an hour or two, she'd be leaving the disgusting place and its disgusting lord. The insect had dared to touch her! If it had not run counter to her lord's plans, she would have killed him on the spot.

She was nearly done with her preparations when there was a knock at the door. Masking her irritation, she ordered one of the servants to answer it. They admitted a man in servant's garb who bowed low.

"Lady Albedo," the man began without prompting, "my master is saddened that your time with us ends so soon, and he prays that you will accept a few parting gifts to remember Re-Estize and him by."

Albedo had the ornate box placed on a table inside her rooms and accepted an ornate parchment. It contained a message from the worthless lord that had been hosting her and contained ridiculously flowery speech. The flattery was empty and irritating, but the gifts were intriguing. There was a carefully wrapped mirror, which she decided to leave for later, several combs, brushes and hair ornaments, tweezers, and a jar with strange markings on the bottom. The jar contained a cream that, when she applied it to the back of her hand, gave the skin an almost lustrous quality. Pleased with this, she resealed the jar deciding that further investigation of the gifts could wait till she returned home. She wondered, though, what the odd symbols meant and what language they belonged to. y. Perhaps Lord Ainz would know. Her love knew everything, after all.

OOOOOOOOOO

Toby walked away from the target's door with a slight smile. Reaching Albedo and delivering the gift-wrapped SCPs undiscovered had been much simpler than expected. None of the actual servants in the manor had given him a second look, thanks to a mild flexing of his power that encouraged others to ignore him. He had to admit that even he would have difficulty with such a powerful creature in direct conflict. He was no trained fighter, and though he might be able to reshape reality to his will, to a degree, that didn't mean he was invincible. He had to be able to concentrate on what he wanted to happen, and he doubted Albedo gave her opponents much chance to do that.

It did seem a bit like cheating to dispose of an enemy in such a sneaky, not to mention cruel, fashion, but there was little choice. The servants of the elder lich, Ainz Ooal Gown, had to be eliminated, and most of them were just too powerful to confront directly. Without them, Ainz Ooal Gown himself would be easier to deal with, especially if his citadel took some damage along the way. That part of the plan, he knew, was well underway.

It was still a bit odd to him how they had been drawn into this conflict to begin with. Jerry had run into a mage who called herself Evileye of all things in the Wanderer's Library. Apparently, she was frantically searching for a way to deal with a threat to her world. They had begun talking and struck up an odd sort of friendship. When Evileye had made a formal request, Jerry had been willing to help, but he couldn't speak for the Serpent's Hand as a whole. He had presented it to other members of the cells he was connected to as a request from one patron of the Wanderer's Library to another, which was not unheard of, and several members of the Serpent's Hand agreed to investigate the situation on that world. What they found was a bit alarming. The sudden appearance of such a powerful not to mention ambitious magical creature was worrisome for several reasons. So, they had agreed to help.

The plan had come together as they observed the creature's actions and studied its motivations. While it was true that Ainz Ooal Gown was not some rampaging monster, that just made him more dangerous. He was intelligent, calculating, and he moved to a plan. While his actions could and did benefit others occasionally, the creature's ultimate aim and the utter ruthlessness with which he pursued it made it clear that Ainz Ooal Gown had to be dealt with for the sake of that world and quite possibly, others. Or as Jerry had put it, "That lich has to go."

Not all members of the Serpent's Hand were lending their aid to the endeavor, of course, but the thefts from the various foundation facilities had benefitted a wide variety of plans that were currently in the works. The Hand was deliberately decentralized. Each cell moved toward its own plan while supporting the organization's overall goal. The Foundation didn't seem to understand that. They kept looking for a command structure or single leader they could eliminate. Toby could only chuckle at the thought of their frustration.

As soon as he was out of sight, in an isolated room, he opened a Way, and returned, by a series of carefully chosen steps, to the safehouse he shared with Jerry. Everything was going according to plan.

OOOOOOOOOO

Albedo looked out the carriage window, watching the countryside pass by as she was carried at a frustrating pace away from Re-Estize. It was her joy and honor to serve her lord, but some of the things she had to do vexed her. She had had to restrain herself from killing that fool and wiping his estate off the map.

Repressing a sigh, she looked out the window again. It would likely be several days travel before she saw home again at the rate they traveled, and that was unacceptable. Already tired of the long and tedious trip home, Albedo utilized a teleportation gate to return to Nazarick, even as Lord Ainz was considering contacting her about the SCPs in the Re-Estize kingdom.

On arriving back at Nazarick, she was greeted by one of the Pleiades with news that the master was away. Suppressing a sigh at the delay, she had so hoped to report the success of her mission to him immediately, she returned to her own home within Nazarick, and made herself comfortable before beginning to examine the presents that the foolish Re-Estize lord had given her.

Next to the jar of that remarkable cream was a small glass bottle full of thick red liquid. Removing the oddly fashioned top, she discovered a brush attached to its underside, and soon divined the purpose of the substance. It was used to decorate one's nails. The color is a bit off, she mused, eyeing the contents critically. Following an odd impulse, she pricked a finger on one of her fangs and put a drop of her blood in the bottle before examining the color again. Yes. That's much better.

She began applying the polish to her nails, pleased with the results. When done, she turned her attention to the jar of cream. If this was as promising as her test indicated, it would easily allow her to outshine Shalltear and finally earn Lord Ainz' affections. Although there was already a mirror in her chambers, she carefully unwrapped the one she had been given.

It proved a simple but elegant item that rather appealed to her. Then she looked into the mirror.

"What-?" She stepped back in shock, unable to accept what she was seeing. Her appearance couldn't possibly be that rough. The journey and her stressful association with the Re-Estize nobles must have taken more of a toll on her than she had realized. She set to work with the makeup, combs, and brushes, making little progress. Eyeing her perfectly formed and maintained eyebrows with dissatisfaction, she reached for the tweezers.

OOOOOOOOOO

Something was wrong. Mare could feel it, but wasn't sure what it was. Leaving his private rooms, he sought out his sister, Aura, and found she was as concerned as he. Little discussion was needed between the two, and they set out to investigate. One of the things that concerned them was that they hadn't heard from their lord in a while, or any of the other floor guardians. While it was true that they were all very busy people, something about the current situation felt off.

Using the communications' magic Lord Ainz had gifted all the floor guardians with, they tried to contact the others, only to receive no response. Their worry blossomed into alarm, and they reached out to Lord Ainz but again, got no response. They left their residence on the 6th floor to begin a search for the source of the trouble. Most of the guardians were out and about on Lord Ainz' affairs, but a few should be in. They knew that Victim never left Nazarick. Mare tried using the teleportation ring their lord had given him, but it did not respond. That shouldn't have been possible.

Mare frowned and shot a concerned look at his sister. "What could interfere with the teleportation magic?" Aura shook her head, not knowing either. "It's a long way to the teleportation spot on this floor, and it might not even work. Should we try calling Lord Ainz again?"

"Let's get moving. Try to contact him, or anyone else, as we go. I think Nazarick is under attack, and if we can't communicate as normal, we need to rally the guardians in person."

Setting action to words, she left their home and head for the nearest path to the 5th floor and Cocytus' domain, as his was the closest. He would know what to do, surely. They would speak to each area guardian they encountered, spreading the word and learning what they could as they went. It would take time to reach the heart of the gate system without the gates themselves. Aureole Omega, like the rest, did not respond, and that struck the twins as especially ominous. Aureole oversaw the Cherry Blossom Sanctuary.

There was no answer from anyone. Their communication network, both inside and outside Nazarick, was down, but neither was sure how that was possible. With no conversation needed, the two began to move at their top speed toward the path that would lead to the home of Aureole Omega and the teleportation gate system. They would pass through the floors governed by several different floor guardians and area guardians, and each of them would need to be warned if they weren't already aware.

The path through the forest was tricky, intentionally so, in order to frustrate intruders. Even the floor guardians had to be careful in places. Aura led the way, but slowed as she saw motion in the trees nearby. She knew the nature and habits of all the animals in the forest, and something about that movement looked off. Signaling to Mare, they carefully approached the creature, whatever it was. On peering through the bushes, they saw something that Aura knew shouldn't be there.

"It's a deer," Mare offered in confusion, stepping out of their cover to get a better look at it. Warily, Aura joined him. The deer's head swiveled 180 degrees to look at them with forward facing eyes.

"Not a deer," Aura declared, backing away. The creature rounded on them and charged.

The twins barely dodged the first rush and launched their own attacks. Mare threw a fireball after some hesitation over his sister's safety and the possibility of starting a forest fire. It missed by a wide margin. Aura engaged the beast directly, but found it to be both tougher and more agile than its appearance indicated.

After barely dodging a kick that would have put a serious dent in her HP, Aura called on Mare to cast every buff he knew. Her brother complied, nimbly dodging the creature's attacks as he did so. Aura could feel her stats growing by leaps and bounds.

Feeling far lighter on her feet, she easily dodged the next attack, as the thing seemed to be moving far slower now. Grinning, the young dark elf attacked. This time she easily matched the creature's strength and speed, bowling it over several times in a row, but it kept getting up. While still remarkably tough, she knew that she could wear it down. She waited for the next attack and made a quick sidestep to avoid the charge, and then a duck allowed her to keep her head as the surprisingly sharp antlers cut the air inches from her face. She drove the strongest punch she could muster into the thing's side, sending it crashing through two trees before it collided with a boulder. Finally, it lay still.

Mare cast detection spells at the thing but found no sign of life. They approached, beginning to speculate on what the thing had been and how it had gotten into Nazarick. When they closed to within a few steps, a black viscous fluid exploded from the corpse, instead of spattering in all directions, though, it remained a cohesive whole and lashed out with two spear-like appendages. Neither twin had time to doge. They were impaled and yanked toward the central mass.

OOOOOOOOOO

Victim wasn't sure what the thing was, but it had to be stopped. The beast had already destroyed the Cherry Blossom Sanctuary and killed several of the Pleiades, including their leader. It did not seem to have a plan, did not seem sapient at all, despite the cultured voice in which it spewed nonsense. The actions it took seemed entirely random, but given the number of important and delicate items in the area, it hardly had to be selective to cause carnage.

All attempts to communicate with or control it had failed utterly. At first, it had seemed to respond to his efforts. It had stopped its rampage and quieted, seeming to bend to Victim's will, but that had only lasted until Victim was in range of its tentacles. Victim had been killed before, that was his purpose, but each time before, there was meaning to the sacrifice. At the moment, Victim was the only living thing on the 8th floor. There were no allies to enhance, and no way to call for help. He could only hope that the debuffs inflicted would immobilize the creature until someone arrived to deal with it. With that in mind, it ceased struggling with the bizarre creature and accepted another death.

For a time, after Victim's death, the creature halted, as if considering something. It even stopped speaking. Otherwise, it did not struggle or show any other signs of distress. It simply stood there, immobile. Then, with a full-body shake, like a dog throwing off water, it resumed normal motion and went on its destructive way as it prattled on about flowering bones and the bliss of agony. Victim's final death was a complete waste.

OOOOOOOOOO

Albedo stared in consternation at her reflection.

No, no, no!

No matter how she tried, no matter what imperfections she removed, nothing helped. A despairing mewl escaped her throat, one she would have never given vent to before. Pride alone would have forbidden it, but she was beyond caring. Her dear lord would never want her looking the way she did now. There were still too many imperfections. She set to work again, completely ignoring the pile of hair and teeth on the floor before her and the bleeding wounds she had inflicted on herself. Any human would have been dead by this point, but Albedo wasn't human. The supreme being that had crafted her had given her a physiology that made her much harder to damage and quicker to heal than any human. That only meant that the process would take longer.

OOOOOOOOOO

Demiurge dropped to his knees. He had tried everything to rid himself of the cursed cup to no avail, and he was growing weaker by the moment, all of his MP and much of his HP drained by his efforts to free himself. Nothing had worked, and all attempts to reach anyone, even Lord Ainz, who might have been able to help him, had failed. Something was happening to Nazarick. That much was clear. The great tomb was under attack, but he had no clue as to who was behind it or how they were doing it. A part of him had to admire the artistry of the trap and the method of torture being inflicted on him.

His own pride, the demon now realized, was part of the trap. Intent on not appearing weak in front of anyone, he had thoroughly exhausted himself before conceding that he needed help. By the time he was willing to ask, the attack, as it had to be an attack, had succeeded to the point that no one could respond to a request for aid. Should he survive this, he was certain, Lord Ainz would never forgive his utter failure.

Whatever the cup's exact nature and effect, he was weakening fast, and his efforts had only made matters worse. There must be a way out of this! Think!

OOOOOOOOOO

Sebas led several of the Pleaides through the great tomb. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he could not contact anyone outside Nazarick and the teleportation gates were down, meaning he had to travel by physical pathways. Along the way, he had gathered what reinforcements he could. None of them knew what was happening either, and had been tending to their assigned duties or training. He brought them along, headed for the 8th floor and the Cherry Blossom Sanctuary.

After finding several others dead along the way, including two area guardians, he had come to the conclusion that the great tomb of Nazarick was not only under attack, but that it had already been compromised in a way no enemy before had managed. The condition of the bodies gave little in the way of information. Each had been ripped apart in a manner consistent with any number of monsters, but there were no physical signs of the attacker. Several of the Pleaides with enhanced senses searched the immediate area, but found nothing. No strange tracks, scents, or evidence of the passage of any kind of creature they were familiar with. The only clue they had was that every light source in the area they passed through seemed to have been disabled or destroyed. The darkness didn't hamper them, but they took it as a sign that their foe preferred hunting in darkness, perhaps nocturnal.

They proceeded carefully, wary of ambush. It didn't help. Narberal Gamma barely made a sound from her position at the rear of their formation as something seized her from the deepest shadows. The warrior was dead before any of the others knew they were under attack. A simple light spell revealed a figure seemingly composed of black smoke fading away, staring at them with white pupilless eyes.

"What was that?" Fith, a maid who had accompanied them for safety's sake, asked.

"I've no idea," Sebas admitted. There was no sign of the creature now. "Be aware and illuminate any deep shadows you see. It doesn't seem to like light."

They pushed on until they found another body.

This one sat upright, leaning against the wall of the hallway they were traversing. Unlike the others, it hadn't been ripped apart. In some ways, its condition was more disturbing. The body was desiccated; all traces of moisture had somehow been removed from it. While it was recognizably the body of Foth, another of the maids, the skin was dry and leathery. The eyes and mouth had been sewn shut with rough stitches. They searched the area, but found no trace of the culprit. They did find another body in the same state not far away. Sebas made the decision to ignore any more dead they found until the crisis was passed.

There were many bodies.