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Keep Your Chin Up

I stood, holding Carlos as tightly as I could, while he returned the embrace with equal fervour. Lester and I were headed to the airport in about five minutes, but I was holding onto him for as long as I could. Our plane left at 11.55am Miami time and it was already 11 o'clock. Our last night together had been special, eating the delicious pasta and salad that Carol had prepared, along with a yummy fruit flan with whipped cream for dessert. Well, I had had the cream. Carlos had eaten a tiny sliver of the flan. Insert eyeroll. We had held each other for hours, talking and laughing together, before moving into the bedroom, where we had not fallen asleep until the early hours of morning.

This morning, when we awoke, I was a little surprised, but very pleased, to find Carlos still wrapped around me, even though it was 7am. We had showered together, lingering touches and glances, before eating our breakfasts and heading down to work for a few hours. I had eaten lunch with Carlos, Marco, and Tank, talking about various issues and plans, and had then headed up to change and get ready to fly back to New Jersey. Now we stood, hating to say goodbye, and needing to hold each other for just a few more minutes.

There was a soft knock on the door, that drew us out of our embrace, and Carlos led me over to the door, picking up my suitcase as he went. My suitcase was only about half-full and not heavy since I had left some of my clothes and travel toiletries in the penthouse apartment. Carlos opened the door, where Lester was waiting patiently, and we all went down to the lobby together in the elevator. Carlos loaded my suitcase into the trunk of the car that was waiting for us. One of the men was driving us to the airport, and Lester's suitcase was already loaded. Lester moved off to get into the car, leaving us to say one final goodbye, with one more lingering kiss, and I promised Carlos to call tonight. As we drove off, I couldn't help looking back through the window to watch him standing there watching me, until we drove out of sight.

We landed in Jersey to a bracing 62-degree misty rain, with a delightful brisk wind that probably dropped the temperature another couple of degrees. I sighed, realising my balmy summer days were definitely done for the year. Lester and I waited for our luggage, chatting casually. We were going to catch a taxi to Carlos' Newark apartment and pick up his Ford truck for the trip back to Trenton. I had not driven to Trenton but had taken an exorbitantly expensive taxi ride all the way from Trenton, on Marco's insistence. Lester was going to drop me at my apartment, where I would pick up my car and head to Vinnie's office.

Lester was going to head to Les Sebring's office; Sebring had been reluctant to accept that Carlos would not be looking for the FTA, but Carlos had managed to convince him to at least speak to Lester before refusing. Lester was hoping he would accept him as a reasonable substitute, but we had agreed my presence would probably only be a distraction, especially given the misogynist overtones Sebring had displayed the last time I met with him. If Sebring agreed for Lester to handle the file, he would bring it back to the Trenton Rangeman office and meet me and we would begin planning the pickups.

I greeted Connie, happy to see her despite the fact the weather had not improved as we headed to Trenton. It had just taken on a deeper undertone of grey smog that caught right at the back of your throat. Connie smiled at me and asked me about my trip to Florida. I chatted with her cheerfully for a few minutes, describing some of the scenery, weather, and activities I had done. She was very envious of the weather if nothing else! Eventually, I asked her about the file she had, and she picked it up and handed it to me.

"It's a bit of a nasty one, Steph," Connie advised. "He's wanted for grand theft auto, assault with a deadly weapon causing death, and manslaughter. Basically, he stole his ex-girlfriend's car and ran over her new lover and her, killing him and putting her in hospital for a month. He put up his house as collateral on the bond, but it was a bad deal. I doubt the house would cover the bond in the condition it's in, so Vinnie is rabid to get him back in court. He's on the warpath, ranting and storming about the place. Ignore him if he gives you a hard time. It's his own fault for signing the bond agreement."

I rolled my eyes and nodded to her, "I'll threaten him with the duck thing if he gets on my nerves."

Connie choked on her coffee; she had just taken a sip. She looked up at me, wide-eyed, "You know about that?" she asked amazed.

I nodded, my nose wrinkling in disgust, "Yeah, found out through the grapevine. Hard to believe, but I have to, cause its Vinnie." Connie nodded in acknowledgement. "Sadly," I added, "I think the only one who doesn't know is Lucille. And probably Vito." Lucille was Vinnie's long-suffering wife, and Vito was her mob-connected father, and the underwriter for Vinnie's business. If Vito knew about the duck, he would likely cut off Vinnie's junk and feed it to him. It was a safe bet he didn't know. But that just made him more vulnerable to my threats.

"When is Ranger coming back?" Connie ventured.

I felt a flash of melancholy at the question. It had only been a few hours and I was already missing Carlos so much. I answered carefully, "Not exactly sure. At the moment, he's committed to a project at the Rangeman headquarters in Miami. I brought Lester back with me, so we'll handle the research and Les will handle the pickup, probably with a couple of contract workers. I'm hoping it won't be too long until Ranger is back though."

Connie looked sympathetic, "Where is Lester?" she asked.

"He had to go and meet with Sebring Bail Bonds. They might also have a file for Rangeman, if Sebring agrees for Lester to do the pickup."

Connie's eyes bulged, "You're working for Sebring Bail Bonds as well?"

"Possibly," I agreed cautiously, "As I said, it depends if he agrees to work with Lester. He only really wanted to work with Ranger."

Connie shook her head, "Well, don't tell Vinnie. Not only does he hate to lose business to Sebring, but he'll flip if he thinks your attention will be divided. Like I said, he's on the warpath about this one."

I smirked at Connie, "Our secret, then." She chuckled. I signed the paperwork for the bond agreement, before saying my goodbyes to Connie and headed back to the office to wait for Lester.

At the office, I watered the wilted-looking pot plants, hoping they'd recover from the lack of care, and quickly ran a cloth over the surfaces where a fine layer of dust had accumulated. There was a carpet sweeper in a hall closet for the offices, but before I could grab it, I saw Lester coming up the stairs. He was holding a file folder and had a triumphant smirk on his face, so I knew he had convinced Les Sebring to work with us. Or at least with him. I grinned back at Lester and gestured him into the office.

I had skimmed quickly through the file from Vinnie, getting the basics, and confirming Connie's brief explanation. I ran through it for Lester, and he nodded thoughtfully. He told me a few brief details about the file, from a similar overview from Sebring. It was actually two people; they had committed armed robbery on a bank just north of Trenton and assaulted several people. They had beaten the security guard badly, and he was left with permanent brain damage. Sebring suspected they were on the run together, and likely to be together wherever they were hiding. Lester moved over to my desk began to read through the three files carefully.

When I had been planning the FTA pickups during Carlos' absence, I had invested in a medium-sized whiteboard for the office. I hadn't been able to mount it on the wall by myself, but I had propped it up on the coffee table against the wall. Now I carefully drew a line down the middle of the whiteboard and another across the top. On one side, above the top line, I wrote, Donald Berghofer (PBB) and on the other side I wrote, Joseph Morrison/Anthony Turnbull (SBB).

I walked over to where Lester was sitting and picked up the files he was not reading currently. He glanced up as I picked them up and asked, "What are you doing, Beautiful?"

I smiled at him, "I like to use the whiteboard for planning. I thought we should try and keep everything clear and obvious, so we don't get any details mixed up or forget anything. It will help us keep track when working separately." Lester nodded thoughtfully and went back to reading the Berghofer file. I went back to whiteboard and drew another vertical line about two-thirds way down under the Sebring Bail Bonds side. Then I wrote the two separate men's names on each side, adding basic details like dates of birth, addresses, family details, work history, etc. Then in the upper area, I wrote the joint details about the crimes, dates, and other relevant data from the files.

I stood back to check my work and Lester came over to pick up a marker in a different colour and add the relevant details to the Plum Bail Bonds side. He then picked up the other files I had borrowed to continue reading, and I sat back down to read through the Berghofer file again, more carefully. After about twenty minutes, I stood up to add a couple more details to this side, and then picked up a third marker, red this time, to write a couple of questions adding names in brackets; Sister? Parents? Ex-wife? Cousin (Jersey City)? I thought these might be places to start looking or contacts that could possibly be hiding Berghofer.

I walked back over to where Lester was working and picked up the file he had just finished with. It was for Turnbull, and I started to read carefully through the information. As I was finishing the file, feeling sickened at the description I read of the poor security guard's injuries, I saw Lester get up and go over to the whiteboard. Like I had for Berghofer, he added one more detail in Morrison's information, then picked up the red marker to write the names of a couple of the men's friends, Morrison's brother, and Turnbull's mother. I walked over to the whiteboard, reading through what we had written, and then wrote the address of a warehouse where the two had worked in the past, telling Lester that I thought it was now empty as the business had gone bankrupt.

Lester double-checked the Berghofer file again, and added in red, Check the previous employer's address. I looked at him and he told me, "It's a seedy-sounding bar. I thought he might still have friends there." I nodded and we stood back to consider what we had so far.

Lester told me it was an excellent start, and he liked the whiteboard planning. I took a picture of the whiteboard on my digital camera, which I had started keeping in my desk, and decided I would print it out and get copies for Lester and I to carry. I might fax it to Carlos to give him an update as well. I wrestled with the cables to connect up the digital camera to the computer, and then the program to open and edit the photograph. After twenty frustrating minutes, I had two pictures printed out with two copies each: one picture for each of the crimes, and one copy for each of us. I gave Lester his copies and he thanked me, folding them up to fit in his pocket.

"Beautiful, why don't you see if your friend Tricia wants to have dinner with us, maybe tomorrow night? She can bring her boyfriend along and we can sound him out on working with us?" I nodded enthusiastically, eager to catch up with Tricia and happy to see Bobby again.

"I'll call her now. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to check into the hotel I used last time. We've got too much at stake here for me to operate out of Newark; it's too far away. So, Ranger agreed I should stay in Trenton. I'll check in, and call Hector, maybe catch up with him tonight if he's free. You can have a quiet night tonight, and we'll catch up tomorrow morning to get started on all the research?"

I agreed, "I have to go and get my hamster, Rex, from my friend's place anyway. Mary Lou and her boys have been looking after him while I've been in Miami. Then I will head home. I will probably have to call my mom, as well, otherwise I'll never hear the end of it."

Lester smirked at me. "Just tell her you've been too busy with your boy-toy in Florida to call!" he joked. I rolled my eyes. I decided to call my mom first when I got home and save a soothing call to Carlos as my reward.

After Lester left, I rang Mary Lou to make sure I could come around to pick up Rex. Mary Lou greeted me happily and told me the boys had been fawning over the hamster and I could come around anytime. I smiled to myself. Rex was not a very social animal, I doubted he returned the boys' attention.

I then called Tricia, and we spent a few happy minutes catching up. She was very happy to come to dinner with Lester and me tomorrow. She told me she already had tentative plans with Bobby, but they would be quite ok to change them to suit the new plan.

"Has Bobby got a job yet?" I asked carefully.

I could hear the frown in Tricia's voice as she replied, "He picked up a temp job at a medical clinic. Just reception work for four weeks while the receptionist is recovering from a broken leg. He's got another week there, but he's still looking for permanent work. He's getting pretty worried he isn't finding something. He's even started talking about maybe moving his mom to a care facility near Philadelphia so he can look for work there." I could hear the undercurrent of distress in Tricia's voice and knew she was worried about Bobby moving away.

I tried to reassure her a little, "Well, Lester and I have been talking to Carlos about him. Carlos is keen to start looking for people in Trenton who can do contract work until the office opens in the new building. That's one of the reasons we wanted to see you tomorrow night; to sound Bobby out and see if he's interested. Carlos even thinks we might be able to use Bobby's medical background to help with Rangeman."

"Really?" Tricia almost squealed. "Oh, Steph that's great! I think he'll be keen, even if it's contract work, if there's the prospect of permanent in the future. Even if not, he's going to need another temp job soon at a minimum. Can I tell him?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Sure, I agreed. Tell him we'll give more details tomorrow night, but he can still take his time to think about it. Lester and I have a couple of files we are working on right now, and Bobby could even be involved, if he wants, in any pickups. It might be a way for him to get a feel for the work, or at least some of it, and decide if it's something he wants to try."

Tricia agreed and hung up happily. I assumed she was going to call Bobby immediately to share the joy.

"Babe", the honeyed tones of Carlos' voice was a balm to my tired ears. After the trip, the initial planning session with Lester, a frantic hour visiting the chaos of the Stankovic family, and a whining call with my mother where I was told three times that somebody else's daughter would not go to Florida for three weeks and not call their mother, I was pretty exhausted.

"Carlos," I breathed, "I'm missing you already."

He gave a throaty chuckle, "You sound beat, Babe. What's been happening?"

I filled him in on my day's activities. He was pretty impressed with all we had achieved already. I agreed that I would fax him through the whiteboard pictures tomorrow morning. Tentatively, I asked, "How did your appointment with the therapist go?"

He sighed, "Okay, I guess. I just gave him some general background on me, and a brief overview of what happened on the last mission. He wants to see me again on Thursday to continue."

"Do you think he can help you?" I whispered.

"Too soon to tell. I hope so. It doesn't come naturally to me to open up about the shit I've seen, so I'll have to play it by ear. If I think I can work with him, it should help." I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. I hoped so much the therapist could help. I murmured my agreement, audibly this time.

We continued to chat about inconsequential things for about fifteen minutes and then agreed to catch up again tomorrow. I hung up and went into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich for dinner with the groceries I had picked up on my way home. I had only grabbed the minimum, but there was always enough for a peanut butter and olive sandwich!

I tapped on Rex's cage as I passed by and saw his butt wiggle firmly deeper into his soup-can home. Rex was feeling a bit unsettled by the upheaval in his life. Or else he just didn't care and just wanted me to stop bothering him. I caught a whiff of his bedding as he rustled around in it and wrinkled my nose. I decided I would have to clean his cage out tomorrow, as the smell was a little ripe. Oh well, job for tomorrow.

I finished off my sandwich and went in to take a long, warm shower – not long enough really, my water heater just didn't cut it for long showers – before crawling into bed. I hugged my pillow and tried not to think about the cold sheets, and the lack of a hot body that smelled like Bulgari. I allowed myself a single tear down my cheek at the empty feeling of my bed and the ache in my heart, before falling into an exhausted sleep.

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