Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue, RWBY, nor some of the items and lore from Halo. RvB and RWBY was owned by Rooster Teeth and Halo is Microsoft's IP
'Welp, here it is,' mused a rather sarcastic Blue as he sat adjacent to his fully packed backpack and tactical suitcase on his bed. 'Today's the day, the day we finally get out. . . . Huh, you'd think I'd be more . . . up for this? Ah, who am I kidding?'
If Church was going to be honest with himself, well, for once anyway, he really didn't know whether to be excited about the trip or worried how his not-friends will inevitably screw it all up. And so, as usual, his mood was in the typical grey area.
'Ugh, just don't get your hopes to high, what with these idiots, but also don't be such a brooding prick. I mean, seriously, we're going out to see the rest of the world. I can't believe I'm saying this but honestly, Caboose was right. This is a vacation, so why not enjoy it whi-'
"OH MY GOSH!" he was cut off from his stupor by the aforementioned blue, much to his chagrin. "I'm so excited, we're finally going on vacation!" The idiot was dressed in a floral shirt and swimming trunks, along with a set of scuba mask and flippers, and an inflatable duck floatie around his waist, as he unceremoniously strolled into the outpost. Simply put, it was quite the disgrace.
'. . . Yep, this whole bust of a mission is gonna blow, so hard.'
"Oh yeah baby. Remnant, spread your entrance wide 'cuz your doctor of love is cruisin' through, bow-chicka-bow-wow!" Tucker exclaimed as he walked in after Caboose, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder, no doubt filled with all his . . . "stuff." The aqua aficionado was currently combing through his newly aqua-tipped dreadlocks, making sure not a strand was out of place, and was dressed in a matching flannel shirt and a set of ripped jeans, completing his ensemble with a brand new pair of Jordan 1's. A little too, on-point in Church's opinion, who had elected to don a simple cobalt-blue hoodie over a white Affliction t-shirt, along with a pair of black cargo pants and casual Timberland Boots. He didn't have time, however, to ruminate on either's choice of style as he had to get up from his bunk and interrupt Ticker from doing something rather stupid.
"Hey, what's wrong dude?" he asked the Grumpy Blue leader, who had just snagged the keys to the scorpion before he could.
"We're not taking the tank Tucker." Church deadpanned as he pocketed the keys out of Tucker's sight.
"Oh come on dude, think of all the chicks! I mean, sure it's no sports car, but it's big, it's powerful, and it's still sexy. Chicks dig all those things man. I mean, how many times have you seen a guy pick up a girl with a tank? Zero, which means we may very well be the first ones!"
"Are you even listening to yourself?" Church exasperated, this was worse then how he usually was. "It's a fucking tank, for shit's sake! Think of the miss- no wait, screw the mission, think of common sense. What the fuck do you think is going to happen if someone drives an armored killing machine through the street all for the sake of hooking up with the hoes?!" Seriously, this had to be one of his most batshit insane plans yet, and that's saying something.
"I mean, come on man," Tucker bashfully bemused, "when have you ever been serious about anything around here? And besides, it's going to get tiring walking around everywhere."
"You have legs you moron."
"I just sa-, ugh. Can we at least rent a car or something when we get there?"
"*sigh* Fine" Church relented, not wanting to continue this conversation any more then it already had. He then turned to his other half of trouble, which was trying to re-stuff all his stuff back into his backpack. Apparently he overdid it with things he "needed." First thing first, he could not keep looking at the ridiculous display before him.
"Oh hey Church," Caboose greeted his 'best friend,' "are you excited too? There's so much fun we can have: we can go exploring, and eat lotsa new snacks, ooh, and Freckles can have fun with us too!"
"Caboose, go change, we're not going swimming."
"Okay." The dumb blue beamed as he rushed back into his room to get rid of all his extra apparel, rushing back out in a plain blue shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Simply, fitting, and unflattering, a perfect fit for Caboose. He then proceeded to continue with his "packing," and Church couldn't help but notice that he had decided on bringing a teddy bear, some comics, and . . . three whole bottles of ketchup?
'You know what, I don't even wanna know.'
. . .
"Grif! How many times do I have to tell you to fold your clothes before you pack them?" Simmons irately yelled at Red team's resident fatass who lazily took another drag from his cigarette as he just as lazily stuffed his belongings into his bag with his free hand.
"You know, you'd think by now you'd have realized I don't give a shit?" He blew some smoke out before continuing, "I pack how the hell I want. So, if you wanna go bitching about neatness then you do that with Donut. I'm sure he'd love the help folding out all his designer shit. And thongs." A notion that brought a shudder to the academic.
"Yeah that's what I thought. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to order one last KFC bucket meal before we blow this popsicle stand. If I'm gonna have to poison myself with whatever trash the other kingdoms have got goin on, then I'm at least gonna have one last Gulchian delicacy while I still can."
"Grif, we are literally a few hours away from setting off on a stupidly important mission, and you're ordering a last minute buffet?" Simmons let out incredulously.
"The point still stands I'm doing it."
"Oh relax Grif, it can't be that bad. Didn't you yourself tell me 'pizza is pizza. I don't care where it comes from just so long as I know where it's going.'"
"Yeah but it still won't be Gulchian."
"Whatever" Simmons sighed as he simply git back to his own packing. While he wasn't outwardly expressing it, he truly was excited for the sights, sounds, and smells of the Rest of Remnant. And he was dressed for it too, clad in his maroon blazer over a matching plaid dress shirt and a pair of black slacks to go with his shiny new dress shoes - certainly a far cry from the stained orange shirt and tattered jeans Grif had haphazardly put on, showing off the tattoo on his back-lower leg. In a way, it was kinda goanna be a lot like a scientific field trip.
Except, you remove the professors and replace the students with a bunch of idiots, plus Sarge and his ridiculousness.
. . . Yeah, scratch that, this was going to be nothing like a scientific field trip. '*sigh* I guess it's up to old Simmons to be the resident Straight Man, again.'
Meanwhile in the other room, Sarge has finished dressing into his red tank top and camo-military pants, complete with blood red commando boots, and was currently busy backing an absurdly large bevy of shotgun shells and hallow-point rifle ammunition, along with a spare sawed-off shotgun.
"¿Son realmente necesarios?" (Are those really necessary?) Lopez inquired as he simply waited for his "superior" to finish up, to which that Sarge looked up at the robot currently holding the rest of his luggage.
"Why of course it is Lopez."
"¿Entendiste en serio lo que acabo de decir?" (Did you seriously understand what I said just now?)
"I agree Lopez, it's just like the old saying goes, 'you can never have too many shells in your life.' Well I say, screw the old folks! I'll have them know that anything that revolves around me and my precious beauties will have no effect whatsoever. I do. What I want. With my shotguns."
"No importa." (Never mind.)
Donut, meanwhile, was busying himself, humming to a pleasant tune as filled his luggage with his large and varied assortment of clothes and male beauty products.
"Delightful, I just can't wait to see all the exotics. It'll be perfect for my special journal of special happenings. And don't you get me started on the team bonding we'll be doing. Ooh, I can't help but gush at that perfect climax of activity!"
Lopez simply looked up towards the celling and muttered "Hermanos salveme." (Brothers save me.)
. . .
It wasn't too long before both teams were finally all squared away. Now, all that was left was a quick trip to the RnD department of the HQ, as apparently all mission personnel were to report for an important upgrade.
And now here they stood, patiently waiting to be led in after the group before them cycles out.
"This is it men," Sarge enthusiastically let out, now fully dressed in his Sargent in his dress greens. "Soon enough we'll be receiving the very best to dish out at our enemies. Ah, it truly takes me back."
Grif sighed in response, "The heck are you so pumped up about Sarge, it's just guns. We pick them up, aim at our foes, and fuck em up. Its the same-old, same-old."
"That just goes to show how much you lack in being a good soldier you walking pile of lard. Our weapons are our pride and glory, an extension of our very selves. It a perfect reflection of us, as a people and as warriors, just like we were back in the old days. Ah, those must have been the best times I tell you. Which reminds me, did I ever tell you boys about the time I-"
"Yes, dozens of times!" Grif and Simmons exclaimed at once.
"Well then you knuckleheads better shut up and listen, that's an order! Back at the peak of the Insurrection, there I was-"
Grif and Simmons groaned in displeasure while Donut happily engaged as his superior drawled on once again about the "glory days." It was times like this Lopez was glad he could simply shut off his audio receptors.
Church, however, wasn't as fortunate and could only ignore the red sergeant's violent ramblings. As bad as his team could get, he was honestly glad he for the most part had a guy like Doc as his fourth member, unlike the reds with Sarge. While he would've preferred someone with more competence, pk a lot more competence, it was nice to have someone who would at least try to work things out peacefully among them.
"So," the purple medic piqued up, "what do you suppose they've got for us today?"
AT that moment, the group that came before them exited the room they were waiting on, looking rather pleased of themselves.
"Well, only one way to find out now I guess."
"You heard the dirty blue men, lets move."
And in they went, which was a bit of a surprise. When they heard "Research and Development hall," they were expecting a white-coated laboratory, when what they saw before them was more akin to a really busy body shop. Everywhere you could turn, one would see an engineer or mechanic whizzing to and from or waist deep in some large of small contraption. That being said, it wasn't exactly an ugly sight for our guests.
"Damn, look at this place." Tucker glanced about the hustling bustle. "If only I'd been assigned to this hot spot. All it missing is some sweet n sexy posters."
"And a cookie machine! Ooh, and a cotton candy machine. And chocolate pudding, and spaghetti and meatballs, and chicken nuggets, and popcorn," Caboose chimed in as he drawled on listing his favorite foods.
Church sighed and looked around once more, catching sight of their destination: a rather cluttered and busy desk covered with all sorts of prototype gadgets and half-drawn blueprints. Waiting at the table were two figures, one tall in yellow armor with purple highlight who was currently waving at them, and one wearing an amalgam grey-dark red armor with a slightly cracked visor.
"Hello, you must be the sim troopers of outpost 1, you're actually the last on our list." the yellow one, who apparently was a woman, cheerily let out. "Oh, where are my manners, I'm Tiny, and this is my partner Axel."
"Isn't that a bit too ironic? Your name, that is?" Tucker inquired, which was met with a harsh elbow to the side, curtsey of his leader."
"Oh no worries, I get that a lot." she replied back with a chuckle, apparently unfazed.
"Tiny, please," her partner urged her as he tried to bring the focus back. "Anyway, I'm the head weapons specialist here and she's one of the best mechanics on the force."
"Aw shucks."
"We take it you're here for your upgrade? Please follow me." He curtly let out as he directed them to a wide cubicle to the right. It was a far cry form the table they were just in front of, with everything in its place either in a stack of papers, on the desk to be immediately tinkered with, or hanging on a wide pegboard on the wall.
"Right then, you all are familiar with the MJOLNIR armor, what it is and why it was made?"
The troopers nodded at the specialist, which he took as his cue to continue. "Well, then you would know that, while powerful, is most certainly a hassle to suit up, to say the least. Even the watered-down simple gear you've all got on. Well, it hasn't been perfected yet, but the materials group has been able to make the process a walk in the park for non-augmented personnel. If you'll direct your attention here," he cut his brief monologue to gesture to Tiny, who pulled out what appeared to be a pair of vambraces from the desk behind them.
"May the team leaders please step forward?"
The two briefly glanced at each other, before teak taking a small stride towards Axel. "Say hello to the latest to come from Misriah, Acheron Security, and Chalybs Defense Solutions: the Nanus Operandi. These babies utilize nanotechnology and just a smidge of dust to essentially piece the whole armor right onto you in a flash. You're actually one of the few teams being issued the prototypes-"
"Sweet smokin sassafras!" the red sergeant interrupted, "Is this to test which of us is worthy of wearin' them beauts? Well alrighty then blue, I may be in my golden years but that don't mean I ain't down and dirty for some good ol' MMA, oorah!" he then yelled as he went in for an easily telegraphed right hook, which Church responded by nonchalantly sidestepping and extending his leg, tripping him in his 'charge.'
"Grr, dangnabit," he muttered from his new perch on the floor.
"Enough!" Axel ordered. "This isn't a brawl, and I won't be having any skirmishes in my workspace. Now you got a beef, take it outside, and leave no evidence." He took a moment to recompose himself. "Now then, what you got there is state-of-the-art, next generation tech that is HIGHLY sensitive and even more EXPENSIVE, so you had better not lose these under the pretext of you life."
"Hey wait a minute, if these are so important then why the fuck are you giving 'em to a bunch of fuck-up rejects like us?" the cynical blue leader couldn't help but asl. Sure he may be testing his luck with the, admittedly, totally awesome new tech, but it did certainly feel out of place.
"Oh the feeling's mutual; if it were up to me I'd keep these as far from your hands as possible. And the director thought so too, but apparently there had been a little change of plans the other night with the Chairman and the Director, and someone had apparently convinced him enough to not let you out without some better protection. One of the freelancers, I think, if my memory serves correct."
That came as a bit of genuine surprise to Church. 'Huh, I guess she's still looking out for us . . . heh heh. She probably had to pull out a lot for us on this one too . . . I am so gonna owe for this, I just know it' he briefly ruminated. In any case, he still reached out for one of the two sets in Tiny's hands, with Sarge following suit after he finished dusting himself off. Once they were strapped on, however, they were met with an unpleasant surprise.
". . . I don't, feel any different. Have I got it on backwards?"
"Ha, it probably refuses to activate for the wrong blood, ya dirty blue . . . dangnabit, work ya piece of trash!"
Axel decided to intervene before one of them decided to do something stupid. "Guys, relax, they're working fine, just trying to interface with your neural implants. Just give it a second . . ."
And sure enough, the vambrace on Church's arm shifted from it's default dull-grey to his trademark cobalt-blue scheme, announced by a slight ping. Sarge's followed suit, becoming his signature deep red.
"Alright, they're all linked up with your biometrics. That way, only you will be able to activate it, and your armor shall respond to you only. All you got to do now is press that small button by your thumb, and watch the magic unfold."
Looking down, Church indeed saw a small, violet button right at the bottom of his index-guard. Right in line with his thumb. Already test the waters, he took the plunge and pressed. What followed was a slight buzz throughout his body, followed by a swarm of reflective dust seemingly emerge from the vambrace. It swirled around him like a miniature twister, giving a strange feeling of shock yet comfort.
"Oh shit!"
"Amazing!"
"Oh my gosh! Why are we yelling!?"
"Awesome, just like in Endgame!"
"Excelente, muy excelente."
"Ooh, neato."
The captive audience each let out at the scene before them. The cloud of shifting metallic dust then settled onto Church, first forming a makeshift techsuit over the apparel he was currently wearing, then followed by the armor itself. The whole process was seamless, and even as the last bit of nanites formed his new helmet, he didn't even feel a shift in his weight. Even the clothes he was wearing felt like he had nothing else on over them.
". . . Holy . . . Fucking . . . Smokes. This shit is awesome!" Church enthusiastically hopped in place as he flexed his arms and shifted his fingers. It literally felt and fit like a glove, and yet he didn't feel underdressed.
"Chekhov's canon! My turn!" Sarge exclaimed as he mirrored the blue leader, soon enough clad in a bright red MJOLNIR.
"Pretty sweet eh?" Axel continued. "Now you'll notice that it fits seamlessly over what you currently have on, as well as being rather lightweight. Now for you all, we had to slightly sacrifice some durability for mobility, so don't go around thinking you've got Master Chief levels of protection out there. But it is comparable to what you usually wear during simulations, so as long as you don't find yourselves into too much trouble it'll do you just fine."
"I want one!" Tucker cried.
"Yeah, me too!" Simmons agreed.
"Woah now, hold your horses fellas," Axel tried to calm them down, "you'll all get yours soon enough, just come with me. They should all be finished by now. Just slip the vambrace over your arm, no need to change out of what you're already wearing."
"Awesome." Grif said.
"And efficient too." Doc happily agreed.
Caboose also piped up. "I know, I can go the the bathroom again!"
"And I can finally wear all my designer clothes again, thanks guys!" Donut followed.
"Okay" Axel continued "moving on, the armor has the standard energy shield, magnetic straps for your weapons and ammo, a new HUD and BIOS."
Hey, um, Axel," Simmons began to ask, "is it just me, or do they look like they're wearing the old Mark VI, not the standard Gen II we usually wear?"
"Hey, you're right," Church spoke up, taking notice of his apparel, "it does look like the classic armor."
"Well, my superiors said it was to match the design of greater protection, but honestly, I think they were just drunk off of nostalgia."
". . . Yeah I don't blame 'em."
"Now, as for your robot," Tiny announced, "you're gonna come with me to section F5 to get your hardware and software all up to date."
"Bueno. Gracias señorita." (Okay. Thank you miss.) Lopez nodded as he proceeded to follow the tall mechanic.
"Hey, I've never seen those before."
The group turned to face the aqua trooper as he was gazing at the workbench they had earlier passed. His eyes had come across several sets of ammunition. Multicolored ammunition, that is.
"Oh my gosh, are those crayon bullets? I've always wanted those, now I can paint the whole town without paint!"
"Ah, right." Axel had briefly forgotten about the other thing he had brought them for. "Gentlemen, I'd like to show you what you're gonna be using for the foreseeable future: dust."
"Dust, seriously?" Grif asked incredulously.
"Not the stuff that gathers on a shelf, this is the stuff the rest of Remnant uses for, well, everything. From energy, to construction, and yes, weaponry."
"Oh yeah," Simmons concluded, "if I recall correctly, Gulch doesn't have too much of the stuff. It's why we've largely used gunpowder and slugs."
"Exactly." Axel piqued back up. "And its a good thing one of you knows your history, cause you'll be needing them if you're gonna wanna blend in better. Not to mention these can pack a serious punch. In atmosphere that is. It's also why you'll need to find more ammunition once you make landfall. But until then, we'll be supplying you each with with a small coach to keep you in the meantime. We've also taken the liberty of modifying your weapons for compatibility, so you won't have to worry about resupplying."
"Good to know" Church muttered.
"Now hold on there, mister Axel," Sarge inquired, "I believe you were sayin somethin about new weapons?"
"Please sir, just Axel, no need for formalities. And yes, your weapons. If you'll all follow me please." The group entered the armory which displayed the newer models of the guns that they will be using for the mission. Tucker saw a green colored rifle and with his curiosity, he picked it up.
"Now, onto the guns. The one you're holding there is the VK78 Commando."
Tucker looked down on the gun he held.
"The VK78 fires 6.5mm rounds on automatic, and is fitted via rail-mounting with a recon sight-style optic that can magnify up to at least times three. It is distinctive among the other rifles in that it does not share the common bullpup configuration of weapons like the MA40 assault rifle and BR75 battle rifle, in which the magazine is inserted behind the trigger. Instead, the magazine well is located at an angle directly in front of the trigger guard. The VK78 can hold twenty rounds at one time with an observed sixty rounds reserve."
"Sweet" Tucker patted his gun.
"That gun functions similarly to a DMR but with a faster fire rate and larger magazine box." Axel continued.
"Looks unique." Doc commented.
Caboose saw a different variation of the assault rifle he mostly used. He picked it up and showed it to the weapons specialist.
"What about this thingy?" Caboose asked.
"That's the MA40 Assault rifle. Produced by Misriah Armory, the MA40 is a part of the same lineage as the MA37. The rifle feeds from the new, MA5-standard thirty six-round detachable box magazines, akin to the MA5D."
"So does it means it's awesome?"
"Uh, sure?"
"Neat."
Church shook his head and grabbed a sniper rifle. "What about this" he asked. "Kinda looks like the one I previously used."
"The Sniper Rifle System 99-Series 7 Anti-Matériel (SRS99-S7 AM), also named the S7 Sniper, is a gas-operated anti-materiél sniper rifle used by the Unified Gulch Military, part of the widely-used SRS99 series of weapons manufactured by Misriah Armory. It's in the same line your previous rifle was in." Axel helpfully explained. "I take it that those will be the main weapons you will be using?"
"Yep" the three blues answered.
"Okay, be sure to take some sidearms. Here. This is the new pistol, the MK50 Sidekick, produced from Emerson tactical Systems. It is different from the M6 series that Misriah makes."
The blues just took them, not actually giving much words to say. It just looks like a common looking pistol.
"Now with the blues aside, time for red team to get in gear. Now, what is that new shotgun you have there?" Sarge pointed to the shotgun placed in the rack. it looked different from the usual shotguns he used, with this having a rotary magazine and a handle at front.
Axel then gave the details to the new shotgun. "The CQS48 Bulldog is a pump-action combat shotgun which fires 12-gauge shells from a 10-round rotary magazine. After every shot, the foregrip must be retracted and pushed forward again to work the weapon's action and rotate the cylindrical magazine into the next position. The rotary magazine allows the CQS48 to replenish its supply of loaded ammunition substantially faster than the non-detachable magazines of the M45 and M90 shotguns. However, the 12-gauge ammunition it fires is substantially smaller. The Bulldog integrates ironsights and multiple attachment rail segments on its body."
"Eh, as long as it's a shotgun and it kills, I don't mind." Sarge quickly grabbed the gun and carried it as if it was his long lost child.
"So, what's this new BR model. Kinda looks like the old BR55." Simmons pointed out. Simmons, Grif, Donut and Lopez often wielded battle rifles.
"In appearance, the BR75 bears great similarity to the BR55 battle rifle. Its features a scope mounted on a rail set into its carry-handle, and feeds from magazines of at least 36 rounds. Some notable differences between the BR75 and its predecessor include an accessory rail mount on the left side of the handguard, and a new muzzle brake. It is a highly versatile weapon, capable of engaging targets at a variety of ranges, and is particularly suitable for long-range engagements."
Grif just shrugged while Simmons nodded. Both of them grabbed the new battle rifles and the pistol except Donut who just chose the sidearm."
"Wait, Donut, you aren't going to grab a rifle?" asked Simmons.
"It's ok guys, I have my sights on the new grenade launcher they have."
Donut grabbed a new Hydra MLRS since he was the team's expert grenadier.
"What about you Doc, anything of your liking?" asked Axel.
"Oh, it's ok. I'm actually more of a pacifist." Doc answered as he grabbed a pistol and a newly modified and dust powered Med Scanner. The med scanner looked unique. It looks like an alien pistol and can be used as an offensive weapon.
"You know Doc, you're gonna need a lot more firepower during the mission." Church said to the medic.
"It's alright Church, I got you guys to do the shooting mostly. Now, let me go grab my medical gear." Doc said as he walked to get his things.
Church turned to see a Rocket Launcher and grabbed it just in case.
"Yo Axel, you mind if we take this?"
"By all means, feel free to. You guys need to be prepared for your journey."
END
Information from on the guns is taken from Halopedia