Summary:

"He takes a deep breath. 'You got hurt again,' he mumbles. 'Except, this time…'

'This time what?'

Jonas squeezes his eyes shut. 'This time I think you died.'"

OR

Present-Day AU. A malfunctioning time travel device and a harrowing mission force Sam and Jonas to finally confront what happened in Florida. But they're running out of time to clear the air before Jonas' latest vision comes true - a vision of Sam's impending death. Sequel to "band-aids don't fix bullet holes."

A/N: Hello, everybody. We're in the endgame now, so the plot's going to be moving forward even more in this chapter. Thank you again for bearing with all the angst, I promise that there will be payoff for all the suffering I've put you and the characters through 😭 As always, I appreciate everyone who has followed along with this story so far - I cannot say enough how much it means to me to know that people are enjoying this fic despite how niche it is. Now, without further adieu, I'll leave you all to read ❤️

Chapter 15: someone's out there (sending out flares)

She's barely clocked in when General Landry throws her a curveball.

It's not intentional, of course. After her revelation the day before, Sam decided to keep quiet, at least until she had time to think things over. On the way home, she realized that she needed to formulate a plan before jumping back in time with the crystal. Although it activated on contact, Sam wasn't sure how much power it actually contained. It was possible that it might only work for a limited amount of jumps, and if Sam wasn't careful, she could get stranded in the past, unable to save Jonas and bring him back to the present. Or, alternatively, she could bring him back too late, missing out on the chance to try again if the crystal lost power. She might only have one shot to get this right - one shot she knew she couldn't afford to waste.

So she stayed up late, drawing up said plan in her mind. She had to pick a point in time to jump back to. Fearing a possible time paradox, Sam decided it would be best to avoid an encounter with her past self. That meant she would need to jump to the moment right after she left Jonas to search for the purple worms. That wouldn't give her much time to save him, so she would have to put a safeguard in place beforehand to ensure his survival. She'd have to visit Celia in her research lab first. Sam had heard talk of the entomologist developing a more concentrated anti-venom serum, using a few purple worm specimens she managed to collect during her time in the caves. If the serum was ready, then Sam could simply jump back to the SGC with Jonas right away and have Celia or Janet administer it. If it wasn't ready, she'd ask how long the timetable was, and figure out if she could stall the device's shipment to Area 51.

Sam went to sleep eventually, feeling a renewed sense of hope. But those hopes are dashed the moment Landry calls her into his office.

"I've decided to expedite the transfer of the device to Area 51."

Sam blinks at him, unsure if she's heard correctly. "Expedite, sir?"

"Yes," he replies, folding his hands atop his desk. "It'll be shipped out tomorrow."

Tomorrow?! Sam thinks, panicking. That's far too soon. She hasn't even talked to Celia yet.

"Is there any issue with that, Colonel?" Landry asks.

Issue? Oh, yes, there's a major issue - a life or death one, in fact. But Sam isn't certain she should elaborate. If she explains why she needs a little more time with the device, the general could veto her plan. She warned him before about the possibility of causing temporal disturbances by altering the past. He could determine that as noble as her intentions are, saving Jonas isn't worth the risk. True, maybe she's being reckless. Maybe she isn't thinking straight. Maybe it's selfish of her to prioritize one man's life over the stability of an entire timeline. But she just can't accept Jonas' death, not when the chance to reverse it is literally sitting in a lab a few levels down.

Of course, if she shows up at the SGC with a living, breathing Jonas in her arms, Landry will no doubt put two and two together, and she'll most certainly be in trouble. She's well aware that her plan may end up jeopardizing her entire career. But if Jonas was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for her, then it's only fair she does what she can to repay him. The loss of her job would still pale in comparison to the premature loss of his life.

Sam clears her throat, remembering that Landry is expecting an answer. "Um, no, there's no issue, sir," she lies, wringing her hands behind her back. "It's just…" She pauses. "May I ask why you're expediting the shipment?"

Landry leans back in his chair. "Well, the Area 51 scientists have wanted to take a look at it for awhile," he explains. "And, if I'm being honest, it has been eating up a lot of your time."

"Well yes, that's true, sir," Sam starts. "But you did ask me to put together a comprehensive report."

"I know," Landry replies. "But from what you've shown me it seems like your report is already pretty thorough."

The look on Landry's face gives away more than he's saying. Sam swallows. "I see."

The general eyes her for a moment before leaning forward again. "Look, Colonel," he says gently, "I'm not trying to cut your work short. But to tell you the truth, I've been a bit concerned about you. Colonel Mitchell tells me you've been so consumed by this project that you've hardly spent any time outside your office."

Sam suppresses a sigh. She should've known it would come to this. "I'm doing okay, sir," she mumbles. "Really."

Landry holds her gaze. "You're sure?"

Sam nods. "Yes, sir."

Landry nods back. "All right then. I'll hold you to that. But if you do have any trouble, try giving Dr. Lam a visit? I don't want to have to make it mandatory."

Sam inhales, keeping her emotions in check. "Of course, sir."

The general leans back in his seat. "Well, I suppose that's settled then. You're dismissed, Colonel."

Sam forces another polite nod. But as she exits the room, she knows for a fact that her time has just run out.

Sam doesn't waste a moment heading to Celia's lab. Her heart is racing and her head is spinning, and she knows for certain now that she's being completely reckless. But she tells herself that she doesn't have a choice. If she doesn't act quickly, she'll lose her only chance to put things right.

Celia is sitting at the right end of the lab, her head bent over a microscope. Sam hesitates in the doorway. She feels a bit guilty for interrupting the entomologist's work, but she forces the emotion down and knocks on the door.

Celia looks up and blinks in surprise. "Oh, hi," she says, slipping off her stool.

"Hi," Sam mumbles awkwardly.

She stands there for a moment, not knowing what else to say. Celia walks towards her, her brow creased in what could either be curiosity or confusion. "Is there anything I can do for you, Colonel?"

Sam finally steps forward. "Call me Sam, please."

"Of course."

Sam takes a deep breath, struggling to organize her thoughts. She hasn't had time to prepare an explanation for her visit, and now she's fumbling for the right words. "I, um…I heard about that serum you're developing."

Celia's expression shifts to one of pity. Sam isn't the least bit surprised. "Oh," she says quietly. "Yes, it's been coming along."

Another silence passes between them before Sam speaks again. What can she say to make this seem less intrusive? "Look, I don't mean to bother you," she starts, "but I guess I just…needed some kind of closure."

It's not a lie, not entirely. It's just that the closure she's seeking definitely isn't what the entomologist has in mind. "I see," Celia murmurs. "Well, I'm willing to answer any questions you have."

She gestures to one of the lab tables, inviting Sam to sit down. Sam perches herself on a stool and folds her hands atop the table. "I guess I'm still wondering why the anti-venom didn't work. You know, when…"

"When you tried to save Jonas?"

Sam nods, the horrifying memory flashing through her mind. "Yeah."

Celia sighs and sits on the stool next to her. "Well," she begins, "I'm not sure how much blue worm venom that dart contained. But I'm guessing it was a high enough dose that the anti-venom from just one purple worm wasn't enough to fully counteract it."

Sam bites her lip, mulling that over. "So, he would've needed a larger dose to survive."

Celia nods. "Yes, most likely."

Sam takes a breath. "How large?"

Celia frowns. "I'm not sure exactly. But based on what I've learned so far, it seems as if the amount of venom from one blue bite is proportional to the amount of anti-venom from one purple bite. If a single purple worm wasn't enough to save Jonas, the dart probably contained the equivalent of multiple blue bites. How many, I don't know, but it probably would've taken the same amount of purple bites to reverse the effects."

Sam's brow furrows, the gears in her mind turning. "So your serum," she asks, "how many purple bites is that equivalent to?"

"About three," Celia replies.

Sam glances at her hands. "And is it…effective?"

Celia pauses a moment before answering. "I've tested it on some of the lab mice," she explains. "And so far it seems to be working."

Sam fiddles with her fingers, thinking over her next move. She needs to know if she can guarantee Jonas' recovery, but she has to ask carefully to avoid arousing any suspicion. "Can I ask a hypothetical question?"

Celia eyes her curiously. "Of course."

Sam takes another breath. "If - hypothetically - you were to administer a dose of the serum and it still wasn't enough to save the patient, could you safely administer another?"

Celia nods. "Yes, theoretically I could," she answers. "The thing is, the higher the dose of blue venom, the faster it'll kill. The purple anti-venom is very effective at the right dosage, but it still has to be administered in a timely manner if the patient has any hope of making it out alive."

Sam swallows back the lump in her throat. "Okay," she says, fighting back a surge of anxiety. She glances at a cooler across the room. "Is that it? The serum, I mean."

Celia looks over her shoulder. "Yep." She turns back around. "There aren't a lot of vials yet since I've only just started, but General Landry wants me to stock up in case we have any more run-ins with the blues on return visits to the planet. He also told me that the less…unsavory locals were interested in negotiating an alliance. Offering them some of the serum would be part of the agreement."

Sam nods again, filing the information away for later. Right now there's a more pressing matter to attend to. "Thank you," she says softly, meeting Celia's eyes. "For taking the time to talk."

Celia reaches out and squeezes her arm. "Of course," she murmurs. "Look, Col - Sam - I know this won't change anything. But you did everything you could under the circumstances. There's no reason for you to blame yourself for what happened."

Sam can't help but disagree with that, but she says nothing, not wanting to waste any more time. "Thank you," she repeats, laying her hand atop Celia's. "That means a lot."

Celia offers her a sad smile before pulling away. "Is there anything else you wanted to know?"

Sam stands up and shakes her head. "No," she replies. "I think I've learned everything I need to."

"Okay," the entomologist says, escorting her to the door. "But if you think you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask."

Sam turns back to her before leaving. "I won't," she promises, forcing herself to smile. Trust me, I won't.

Not long after her visit with Celia, Sam returns to Lab 26. She snuck her vest and backpack out of the women's locker room while most everyone was at lunch, not wanting to invite questions. She figured it'd be best to be prepared, although she isn't going on an approved mission.

She runs through the plan in her mind as she shrugs on her vest. Jump back to the cavern, avoid her past self, jump forward with Jonas, get Celia to administer the serum. That's it. No distractions and no detours. The only variable left is whether or not the crystal will work as it's supposed to.

Sam hoists her backpack onto her shoulders, then directs her focus to the device. She opens the casing with the ring combination she used before and gingerly lifts the crystal onto the table. Once again, it starts to glow at her touch, this time emitting a low humming sound the longer she maintains contact.

Sam lets go of the crystal for a moment to pull her dog tags out from underneath her shirt collar. Jonas' ring is hanging next to them on the chain. It's not regulation, but after she returned from their ill-fated mission, she just couldn't bring herself to leave it at home. In some small way, carrying the ring with her has felt like keeping a piece of Jonas close by - a constant reminder that he was real and that his love for her was real even if she was too afraid to accept it. And besides, she promised to look after it for him. Sam runs her thumb over the gold symbol etched on its surface, remembering the earnest look in Jonas' eyes when he first gave it to her. She realizes suddenly that she never thought to ask him what the symbol means, but she tells herself that she'll have plenty of time to say everything she couldn't once she brings him back. Because she's going to bring him back, no matter what. She can't fail this time. She won't fail this time.

Sam lifts the ring to her lips and kisses it gently before tucking it back under her collar. She's trembling now, the reality of what she's about to do finally sinking in. She takes a deep breath and places her hands on either side of the crystal.

The crystal starts to glow again, the humming growing louder with each passing second. Sam takes another breath and closes her eyes. She knows that she has to time this exactly right or she'll miss her shot. Heart pounding, she clears her mind of all thoughts except the one that matters - the memory of her going to look for the purple worms. She envisions herself running out of the cavern, leaving Jonas alone as he fights for his life.

A hot tingle starts to creep up her arms. The humming escalates to a loud buzz, causing the crystal to vibrate and rattle the table beneath it. Sam keeps her eyes squeezed shut. Whatever's about to happen, she can feel that it's going to happen soon, and she can't afford to break her concentration. She focuses in on the image of Jonas lying on the ground, waiting for her to return, waiting for a rescue that will come too late. Except this time, she won't be too late. This time -

All of a sudden, a jolt of electricity shoots through her. And before Sam can register what's happening, she feels the floor open up beneath her feet, sending her hurtling down into an endless abyss.

A/N: The title of this chapter is taken from the lyrics of "Flares" by The Script. I thought the song was a fitting reference to Sam's grief, since the song opens up with "Did you lose what won't return?/Did you love but never learn?" and "Did you find it hard to breathe?/Did you cry so much that you could barely see?" It ultimately ends on a hopeful note, though, which I thought was a nice nod to the end of the chapter.

As Sam herself pointed out, she is definitely being reckless (for her, anyway) in regards to her time travel shenanigans, which may or may not be important at a later date...

The Sam & Celia bit was surprisingly one of my favorite parts to write. I wasn't originally intending to have Celia be such a major player in the story, but characters always take on a life of their own, and who was I to refuse? I did like the idea of Sam connecting with her, since Celia's a sweetheart and could easily empathize with her situation, given the parallel between Sam's feelings for Jonas and her feelings for Cam (which were referenced in an earlier chapter).

Once again, I apologize for leaving yet another installment on a cliffhanger, but I thought this was a good place to end it before jumping (no pun intended) to the next section of the story. Don't worry, we're in the home stretch now ❤️