The Craziest Raid
As good as it is to be back with the team, we got involved with what can only be described as the craziest mission of all time. Sarge really has a flair for crazy. I still can't believe we pulled it off. When listening to the plan, I couldn't help shaking my head in disbelief. It was so outlandish and unbelievable. Now that it's over, I have to admit it was fun but nothing like we've ever done before. It took us several days to prepare and even with all the advance work, we ended up having to "wing it" at times. Sarge is really good under pressure. I can't begin to understand how his mind works.
My job began with making some modifications to the jeeps. I loved the challenge to tinker and create. Our mission was to kidnap General Ernest von Helmreich and use him to get close to a large, hidden ammo supply. Troy and I allowed Dietrich and his patrol to capture us while Moffitt and Tully stayed out of sight. We were taken to General Helmreich where Troy stepped down from the back of the jeep so they could talk face to face. The General paid us a compliment about being "excellent soldiers," and was impressed we were 80 km behind enemy lines.
Troy made sure to keep his back up against the jeep so they wouldn't notice the tow line attached to his back. I sat in the driver's seat innocently blowing bubbles with my gum and casually realized a small device from the tube I'd attached on the back of the jeep. It made a high-pitched whistle like a bottle rocket before emitting dark smoke. Sarge grabbed the general in a bear hug as I sped up, the tow rope dragging the two of them along the ground.
Moffitt and Tully came flying over the dune with the .50 firing and grenades flying. They managed to take out a number of Germans and vehicles. Tully turned a handle I'd installed beneath the dash, releasing deep black smoke to cover our getaway. Once away, we were forced to stop while Tully repaired Olive's fuel line that had been nicked by a bullet. The general wasn't very cooperative, and Sarge caught him positioning the side mirror with his foot trying to signal his men by reflecting the sunlight. I've been complaining about those mirrors since we first started. They aren't needed and sure enough, Dietrich and his unit saw the reflection and moved into the pass we needed to use. We couldn't go around another way without losing a day and we had to take out that ammo dump by nightfall.
As Sarge would say, it was a minor setback, but we were well-prepared for such a contingency. I was sent to plant some explosives near the pass while Tully set up the extra equipment we brought along. We had to make the Germans think we were a bigger unit than we were, with heavy artillery to take them out.
We slowly drove along an upper ridge, out of sight of the enemy. We had phonographs set up in the jeeps playing recorded "tank sounds," and Tully stirred up dust with the smoke device and by dropping his rakes to create the illusion of a tank unit. Troy would set off the explosives near the pass and it didn't take long for Dietrich to have his men pull out. The general was really mad at the way we duped his soldiers. We dismantled and stowed the special equipment and took off through the pass.
We were just around a bend from the camp with the ammo dump, when Moffitt and I changed places. He drove Bertha and I got behind his Browning. Troy knocked out the general and we drove straight in. Like I said, CRAZY. Troy told the officer in charge the general was dying of heat exhaustion.. We would trade him for gas and water to get back to our lines. They allowed Moffitt and Troy to drive in with the general while Tully and I were to remain at the entrance.
The general was taken to a tent and a doctor was called. Now it was time for me to carry out my instructions. It was daunting to think about being unarmed and walking alone into the German camp especially since I don't speak German. I was chosen for this task because my blond hair and blue eyes make me look like a poster child for Hitler Youth. That and my knowledge of explosives.
I told the guard I needed to see Sarge, and he began to escort me across the camp. As we neared a solitary spot near a patrol car, I stopped and pretended to tie my boot. Before he could react, I took him down with a hard punch to the kidneys, then strolled to a nearby tent. I was hoping it would be empty, but a German officer was shaving, I rushed him, and we struggled for control of the straight razor in his hand. A second soldier entered, and I maneuvered the first guy's arm to use the razor to slice the second man's throat. I took out the first guy with a karate chop to his neck and got down to the task at hand.
I removed my shirt and turned it inside out. It had been modified to become the uniform shirt of a German lieutenant. I had a cap in the waist of my pants and once in disguise, I walked as confidently as possible to where a motorcycle with sidecar was parked. Nodding to the guards I climbed on and after a couple of tries, managed to get the motor started. They really do need to keep their vehicles in better shape. That bike sounded pretty rough.
I drove to the entrance of the bunker where the fuel and ammo was stored and walked inside giving Hitler's salute to the guard on duty. Now for the fun part. And more of the crazy. The canteen attached to my belt was actually the coolest little bomb I'd ever built. I set the detonator and timer and placed it on top of several ammo crates. I could hear it ticking away as I made my way back to the bike and the tent where I changed back into my uniform.
I was apprehended wandering around and they escorted me to the tent where Troy and Moffitt were with the general and several other men. Both sides had machine guns pointed at one another. The general realized we had planted a bomb and sent one of his men to investigate. Then it came down to a game of chicken between Sarge and the general. No contest. I knew Sarge would win. He doesn't flinch.
Moffitt told the German soldiers surrounding us that a bomb was about to go off and you could see them get really nervous. The general didn't like their reaction and began to slap one of his men, yelling at him in German. That was enough of a distraction for Moffitt and Troy to take out the other two soldiers and we headed for the jeep. The first explosion began a chain reaction of all the ammo and fuel stored beneath the camp. Tully took out the soldier on the guard post and prepared to leave as soon as we caught up to him. We took off across the desert with the explosions continuing. Wonder if Dietrich made it in time to see some of the fireworks.
We were getting close to our base when we came upon a water wheel and a young woman carrying a full jug. She came up alongside the jeep and Troy told Moffitt to ask what she would trade for the water. He offered money and a basket we had in the jeep, but she shook her head in response. I was busy checking her out while they negotiated. She had lovely dark eyes and high cheekbones. Quite the desert flower.
After turning down Sarge's offers, she pointed her finger at me and smiled. I smiled my best smile right back and told the guys, "This fella is what's known as the supreme sacrifice. I'll see you all back at the ranch." I climbed out of the jeep and put my arm around her waist as she gave the jug to Troy who gave it to Moffitt. Troy slid behind the steering wheel, and they took off. I knew Tully would come back for me later. One thing I have discovered here is that the native women are very curious and fond of blonds with blue eyes. Isn't it great that I have both.
NOTES: This is based on Season One, Episode Three, The Wildest Raid of All written by Al Ramrus and John Shaner. All quotes are from that script.