Chapter 11
San Francisco, CA - 2022
Gazing out the window at the city streets, Halona felt lost. The doctor's news spun in her head, refusing to slow down. No matter how she replayed the events in her mind, a scary doubt lingered. The worst possibility wouldn't go away. Maybe it was her kidnapper. The thought made her shiver. Was that why they took her? Did they plan this all along? "Stop it, Halona," she mumbled to herself. "You've watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds." She forced a weak laugh.
Pieces of memory surfaced - the hospital doctor talking quietly with the FBI about a sexual assault exam. Relief had flooded her then, the news of no physical injuries. But this new information made her reconsider everything. Could she have been drugged? Raped, not by force, but by being tricked or having her mind clouded by drugs? Unable to fight back. Fury bubbled up, and she punched the pillow on her lap. Why couldn't she remember? If she was drugged and attacked, kept prisoner against her will, it explained a terrifying truth - her mind creating a happy escape, a safe place to hide from the awful reality.
"I can't believe you're having a baby, dude." Sydney burst in, shoving a steaming mug of tea into Halona's hands. "A motherfucking vag destroyer!"
Halona chuckled, trying to wrap her head around the news herself. "Yeah,"
"How far along are you?" Sydney asked,.
"Not sure yet," Halona admitted. "I scheduled an ultrasound."
"Damian mentioned a rough patch when you first got back," Sydney recalled. "Do you know who the father is?"
Halona leaned against her friend, feeling super drained. "I wasn't myself for a while. You know how I usually am, having a glass of wine with dinner, maybe going out for drinks to celebrate something..." Halona smiled and rested her head on Sydney's lap. "But this time, I just wanted to forget everything."
"Halona, I'm so sorry I didn't go out with you that night," Sydney confessed.
"Don't you dare blame yourself, Syd," Halona said seriously. "Don't even go there."
"I'm sorry - "
"I never for one second would blame you." She hugged Sydney tight.
"Well, I'm glad you're home now," Sydney smiled.
Halona paused, a question on her mind. "Ever feel like you're just...off? Like not yourself?"
"Yeah, for sure," Sydney said. "We all get like that sometimes. Maybe it's hormones or something?"
"Maybe," Halona agreed. Then, an awkward silence hung between them.
Sydney knew how touchy Halona could be about family, especially her own past. But she felt compelled to ask. "Have you thought about all your options?" She ventured cautiously.
Halona lifted her head, eyebrows furrowed. "Options?"
"You know... you don't have to have it…" Sydney spoke carefully.
"No, I couldn't do that..."
Sydney hesitated. "I hate to bring this up, but have you considered that maybe... it's the person that…"
Halona's eyes widened. The person who'd taken her, held her captive, and vanished from her memory could be the father of her unborn child. Even knowing this, Halona couldn't imagine terminating the pregnancy. She craved this baby, no matter its origins. But raising a child alone, and without knowing the real father was terrifying. Adoption might have been an option under different circumstances, but she yearned for this child - it was hers.