Each of us Walkers lost our tempers now and then in our own unique way. Dad's temper flared when he was stressed out at work. He had a hard time not bringing it home with him and would get more and more frustrated until it all boiled over, most often with yelling. Mom rarely yelled; she was much more skilled in the art of backhanded comments that made you wonder if she was angry or not (if you had to ask, the answer was yes). I wasn't all that great at staying mad; when my temper flared, it blazed for half a second, then quickly burned itself out. Cara, on the other hand, could stay mad for weeks.
The way she sat silently on my bed as I stood in the doorway was worse than any yelling match, biting remark, or slap to the face. It made my tongue feel like it'd been replaced with cotton. My hands were sweating so bad, I had to wipe them on the legs of the sweatpants Alice lent me. This was the calm before the storm that had all night to brew.
"Cara, I-," she held up her hand, making me close my mouth and try to swallow, though there was no spit. The way her lips set into a deep frown made her look just like Momma.
"Nine hours, Collins. I've been up for nine hours, wondering where the hell you were. And the only reason I haven't called Mom or Dad is because I'm sure they'd find some way to make it my fault that you've been out all night without so much as calling or texting!"
She looked like she'd been up for nine hours, that was hard to miss. Her eyes were bloodshot, the skin under them shadowed with dark purple circles. The lines around her mouth were more prominent than usual. She never did try that moisturizer I recommended, I thought, which was something so odd to think at the time. I should be thinking of a way to explain and apologize that she would actually believe. The idea of having to bring up Matthew, that Cara would want to press charges and make the incident more public, turned my stomach.
"Someone spiked the punch bowl last night, and no one caught it until it was too late," I began hesitantly. "Alice and Jasper didn't drink any, so they gave me a ride and let me crash at their house. I didn't know any of this until about an hour ago; they had to fill me in on everything when I woke up."
She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips ever so slightly, letting me know that she thought I was full of shit.
"So you're telling me that someone put alcohol in the punch, and the school hasn't bothered to contact any of the parents or guardians of students that may have ingested it? And you didn't, I don't know, taste the alcohol?"
Her eyebrows shot up as she stood, putting her hands on her hips. All us Walker women did that when we were disgruntled like she was now. All I could do was shrug and nervously run my fingers over the smooth gel polish that coated each thumbnail.
"How do I know you weren't with Matthew all night instead, and got Alice to drop you off as a cover?"
"Because I'm telling you the truth," I spat back. Well, most of the truth, the important part anyway. I could have mentioned that it was Jasper who had driven me back, but I was already annoyed she thought I'd spent the night with one guy. Mentioning him would probably raise more questions. I had enough of my own to deal with at the moment. "If you don't believe me, then that's your prerogative."
"You don't have to have such an attitude when I've been worried sick about you," Cara's face was reddening with each word. Another thing that we had in common.
"I'm sorry you were worried, but it's not my fault I can't make a phone call while I'm unconscious with a dead phone."
"God, you are such a brat! I shouldn't have let Mom and Dad talk me into letting you stay here. The last thing I need is a missing person on my workload."
The words stung, but I was too angry to stop.
"It's not like you have anyone else trying to move in. You're too busy making eyes at Dr. Cullen to even get another guy's attention. If you haven't noticed, he's married."
"Who would want to live here when there's a spoiled eighteen year old running around and acting like she knows everything?"
"Probably the same person that would put up with a bitter twenty-seven year old virgin!"
Cara opted to slam the door rather than reply. I threw my purse in that general direction and dove onto my bed, pulling the pillow over my face and screaming until all of the air left my lungs.
I knew that Cara didn't mean any of the things she said, except the parts about being worried. I knew that I hadn't meant the ugly things that I had said, especially the part about her making eyes at Dr. Cullen, even if it was kind of true. But I couldn't stop thinking about whether or not Mom and Dad had really had to beg her to let me live with her. We had been doing alright lately. Sure there was the occasional tiff about dishes in the sink or a towel on the bathroom floor, but that was normal sibling stuff. We rarely got into it like we had that day. Even though I was sorry and wanted for things to get smoothed over, I was too upset to do anything about it for the time being apart from tossing and turning all night. The events from the past 36 or so hours kept running through my mind, making it impossible to sleep. Dancing with Jasper, waking up in his room, meeting the rest of the Cullens, getting drugged and slapped by Matthew.
Ugh, Matthew. He'd be at school tomorrow, and I'd have to face him. Hopefully, he had the good sense to keep a wide berth, but the boy had proved "good sense" wasn't in his vocabulary. Perhaps if I stayed near Angela or Jessica or one of the Cullens, he would leave me alone.
The Cullens.
The thought of them stirred up a host of conflicting feelings. The more I got to know the family, the more suspicious they became. But whether they were suspicious for good or bad reasons had yet to be decided. There were too many unknowns. I grabbed a piece of stationery from my bedside table and began a list of things that had been off about them, everything from my own observations to ongoing questions and comments that other people had made. Maybe there would be some connection between them all, or at the very least, a thread of commonality. The title of the list? Things About the Cullens that Don't Geehaw.
1. The Cullens and Hales = alarm bells in my head.
2. Jasper makes my empathic abilities go haywire.
3. They all look strangely alike (skin, teeth, eye color), but also not (hair color, features, stature)
4. They all left for a few months and then came back after Bella went to find them.
5. Edward gives me bad vibes.
I stopped there and reread each point. There were a few other things that still floated around my head, like the scars on Jasper's arms or the fact that he coincidentally had the same girly lavender body wash in his bathroom that I had used for the past ten years. Maybe that one wasn't worth jotting down, but it did bug me. I added a few more, like how Jasper and Edward had been arguing a few weeks ago and how they had both showed up in the gym when I'd broken my ankle, then a quick blurb about how confusing the interview with Dr. Cullen had been after the fact. Each point by itself was not particularly interesting, but together, they made the Cullens seem odd. Some occurrences had been a little too coincidental or convenient in such a short time. Jessica had mentioned during the first week of school that they were strange, though I had assumed that was because she felt jealous of Bella. Maybe there was something to it, and I wanted to figure that out, starting with Jasper.
The next morning, my stomach gurgled and rolled anxiously. Primarily because I was unsure how school would go and whether Matthew would prove to be a bigger issue than originally thought. Secondarily, because Cara left before I'd even gotten out of bed, indicating that she was still upset and would be for a while. Two could play at that game, but I gained no pleasure aside from the initial burst of irritation I felt towards how we were acting. Mom and Dad used to serve as a buffer when we fought, and those fights would end quicker when we got space away from each other. Now, the two of us living and working together provided more friction to keep our quarrel going indefinitely. I welcomed the distraction of the list I'd made of the Cullens. The more I focused on that, the less my stomach twisted about Cara.
I had assumed that Alice was picking me up as usual, but when the time came around, an unfamiliar honk sounded outside. At the curb sat Bella's old, rusty red Chevy, exhaust rising into the cold February air. The truck had made me feel a little more at home in Forks the first week or two, as there were plenty of old broken down vehicles on the side of the road in Alabama. I waited for her to knock before opening the door.
"Hey," she said, crossing her arms over her chest, then uncrossing them and jamming her thumb in the northern direction. "Uh, Alice asked me to give you a ride? She was, um, supposed to text you. I don't-I don't know if you saw it or…"
She trailed off quietly and recrossed her arms again. I checked my phone, where there were no new messages from Alice, or anyone for that matter. Maybe she had forgotten.
"Thanks."
She helped me down the steps and to the passenger door before stowing my crutches in the bed of the truck. The next six or so weeks, when I would hopefully be able to give them up, could not pass quick enough. The inside of the cab felt pleasantly warm compared to the wet, chilly outside air. It smelled like old upholstery, dust, and stale air, scents that were amplified by the heat running at max temperature.
"It's freezing," Bella hissed through gritted teeth as she slammed her door. It must have been a stubborn latch to need that much force. We weren't the best of friends— I used that term loosely enough as it was— which set us up for a perfectly awkward twelve minute ride. I focused on warming my hands in front of the vents, like they were the most interesting thing in the world, while she maneuvered the neighborhood roads. Her radio, a fancy model which actually looked to be from this century, was on a local news station. A reporter recounted the violent deaths occurring in Seattle. I turned the dial up a little.
"That story is crazy," I half said to myself, half said to break the uncomfortable silence. The number had risen to four attacks total in the span of just over a month. There was some speculation that a missing local had fallen victim to one of the attacks, though he had yet to be found. Seattle was hours away from Forks, but it still sent a chill up my spine to think. Bella didn't seem to hear what I had said or the reporter for that matter, so I tried another approach.
"You usually ride with Edward, don't you?"
That got her attention. Her eyes flicked over to me for just a second, to the radio, then back to the road. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, like I'd just asked her for a plan for world peace.
"Uh, yeah. He, Alice, and Jasper had an errand to run before school today. They'll be about an hour or so late."
I nodded, noting that Jasper wouldn't miss tutoring, then tried to lightly press for some information.
"How long have you and Edward been dating anyway?"
"About six months," she answered, then bit her lip again.
"You guys met this summer?" I tried to act like I didn't know about the little siesta the Cullens had taken from Forks, hoping that Bella wasn't informed about me knowing.
"No, we started dating last spring. We…took a break this fall."
"Oh, okay. Well it's good that y'all are back together I guess," I said nonchalantly. It would do no good to press for too much information at one time. Whatever was going on there would have to come out little by little.
As the school's marquee sign came into view, my mind shifted from one problem to the next. Matthew's black Camry sat in its usual parking spot. He stood by the driver's side door, as if he were waiting for someone. As if he were waiting for me. My stomach did a little flip in the most uncomfortable way as the truck slowly turned into the lot.
"Do you want me to walk with you to class?" Bella offered. A sudden feeling of affection for her surged through my body, displacing the uncomfortable feeling as we came to a stop as far from Matt's car as possible.
"Yeah, that'd be great."
I guessed that Edward had told her about the dance, or maybe one of the other Cullens. Bella retrieved my crutches while I tried to stay hidden between the other cars. Maybe, just maybe, Matt would give up and head inside. I kept an eye on him, not paying any attention as Bella handed me my walking sticks. The cold metal was almost painful, but what really caught me off guard was the touch of her hands.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It was very rare that I couldn't read someone; usually only the dead fell into that group, but Bella was also completely blank. A few weeks ago, I had chalked it up to Jasper causing some interaction. At the time, I hadn't given it much thought and felt it wasn't worth noting. Now, with my list, I wasn't so sure.
"Sorry, I know my hands are a little clammy," she shrugged and slung her backpack over her right shoulder. She hadn't even noticed me looking at her. I swallowed and turned away, making a mental note to add this to My List, but deciding there were bigger fish to fry at the moment. Angela, Jessica, and the guys must have already headed inside to get out of the chilly weather, as their cars were unattended. It was just Bella and I making our way across the pavement, directly in view of Matt. I tried to both ignore him and also peep whether he'd seen me, though it's hard to miss the halting motion of someone on crutches, especially if you're looking for it. My teeth ground together, waiting for him to call out my name or head in our direction, but it never happened. I chanced a glance his way and nearly tripped over my feet. One of Matt's eyes was completely purplish-black, and his nose was covered by a white bandage. The corner of his mouth looked puffy and red, the thin red line of a cut just visible from where we were. Jasper must have done a number on him. My mouth twitched and I allowed myself a small smile, until our eyes met across the lot. The barely discernible look told me two things: one, that Matt did have the sense to not approach when I wasn't alone. Two, that I couldn't avoid him forever.
Lucky me.
Bella escorted me to Calculus without any issue, and Angela intercepted me on the way to Government. That was pure luck, as she was still oblivious to the events of this past weekend.
"What happened to you two the other night, but better yet, what in the world happened to Matthew's face?"
I glanced around before grabbing my history notebook from my locker. Matt was nowhere to be found, and neither were the Cullens, I noted. Now was the time to figure out what the story was going to be. Did I tell Angela (and Jess, eventually) the truth? Maybe the obvious choice was 'yes' from the outside looking in, but a creeping sense of shame welled up in my stomach at the thought. Esme had assured me that I'd done nothing wrong, and at the time, it was easy to believe that.
"It's a long story that we probably don't have time for," I said as we took our seats in class. Most everyone else was already there and worksheets were being passed out. If I did tell her the whole truth, we'd need more than five minutes.
Angela's next class was in the opposite direction of the gym, causing me to hide in the bathroom until just before the bell rang. However, both Matt and I were delegated to the bleachers, much to my chagrin, just on opposite sides. He made no bones about glaring at me for the entire forty five minutes. I didn't even have to check; I could feel his gaze like hot coals on my skin. Once Coach blew her whistle, signaling that PE was over, I decided to wait out the transition in the locker room. When I peeked my head out of the doorway, the gym floor was completely empty except for half a dozen discarded basketballs. My shoulders relaxed and the knot in my stomach loosened. Maybe he would leave me alone, and I was just being paranoid.
That would be too easy, wouldn't it? The second I rounded the corner on the way to the library, Matt stepped out of the alcove of another classroom door. The hall was virtually empty; everyone had gone to lunch. Fear dropped in my stomach like a lead weight. Was he stupid enough to try something at school, where someone could walk by at any minute, though it seemed highly unlikely? I didn't get the chance to find out. Just as I took a half of a step back, cool fingers landed on the inside of my elbow. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as the sweet scent of whiskey tickled my nose. I didn't have to turn my head to know it was Jasper.
"Sorry I'm late," he said coolly, not even looking my way. His eyes were trained on Matthew, who had gone pale as a ghost. My heart beat out a more jaunty rhythm than normal, either exacerbated by the evil dude in front of me or the hot one beside me. Matt kept walking in the direction of the cafeteria, keeping a wide berth until he passed us. We continued on, the coolness of Jasper's fingers seeping through my shirt and sending chill bumps across my body. It's only the cold, I told myself.
"Thanks for that," I breathed once we were through the doors of the library. Ms Fields was nowhere to be found, as usual. Jasper just nodded, not meeting my eyes as he let go of my arm and started setting up. We were back to business as usual. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I had skipped breakfast and now lunch as well. I grabbed the baggie of apple slices and peanut butter that was supposed to be my "work-snack" later and Jasper started skimming the notes I'd taken in class, underlining and circling as he went.
"Want some?" I offered the bag towards him.
"Not hungry," he replied curtly, neglecting to look up as he began writing out a few practice problems, seemingly off the top of his head. I should have known better than to ask; Jasper never ate when we studied in the library. Actually, I couldn't recall the last time he'd eaten anything in the cafeteria on the days that we didn't skip lunch. I added this to my ongoing mental list that I would later add to the physical list tucked away in my desk at home.
Speaking of that list, the most pressing bullet point was Jasper's interference with my ability to empathetically connect with him. As I attempted the first problem, my mind replayed the last time it had happened, and I had tried to ask him about it. The whole idea had disappeared from my head, and I hadn't been able to remember asking until later on in the day.
"You're forgetting to combine like terms at this step," Jasper sighed and plucked the pencil from my hand, careful to avoid my fingers, perhaps because he felt the same thing I did when our skin made contact. He corrected my mistake, and then placed the pencil down on the table. To keep from accidentally touching me?
"Right, thanks," I muttered and moved on to the next few. But no matter how hard I tried, my mind kept going back to how Jasper had somehow evaded talking about the weird things happening between us. Would he be more apt to talk about it now? What if I caught him off guard? He was already getting frustrated at my lack of math skills; there was not telling how he'd react to such an unusual question.
"Collins, our next test is in a few days, and I know for certain that these types of problems are going to make up seventy-five percent of it. You've got to focus."
I would have felt a little embarrassed about my poor performance if there weren't more pressing matters at hand. After a third failed attempt, I decided that studying was getting us nowhere.
"I'm having a hard time focusing because there's something that I've been wanting to talk to you about," I confessed and closed my notebook. Jasper's lips pressed into a thin line, but he didn't say anything. My eyes returned to the cover of my Calculus notebook, tracing each doodle rather than meeting his eyes. I continued before I lost my nerve.
"You're going to think that I'm crazy, but just hear me out for a second. I've— well I've never actually told anyone this so please don't laugh. Whenever I touch someone, I can…sense what they're feeling. Like, emotions and stuff. It's called pathokinesis, or at least, that's what some article said it was. My reason for bringing this up is because in the past, when our hands have touched, I—"
The words stuck in my throat, unwilling to move any further. Everything I'd said so far played back through my head and sounded just a little bit unhinged. What if it was all in my head, the part with Jasper? What if he actually hadn't been experiencing the same thing? What if he was starting to think that I wasn't only dumb but crazy as hell? My cheeks flared at the thought.
"Yes?" Jasper asked expectantly. His right eyebrow lifted although the look on his face gave nothing away. This was a mistake.
"Nothing, just forget I said anything. Cara's mad at me about the dance, so I didn't sleep all that great, and Matthew has me on edge. My brain is fried. Anyway, I'm gonna get a head start to my art class."
I shoved my books into my bag and made to stand up to grab my crutches when Jasper's hand wrapped around my arm and tugged me down into my chair again. The end of his pinky finger brushed the exposed skin at my wrist. As always, the world spun with too much feeling, but only for a brief second.
"I'm guessing it feels like that?"
My mouth hung open until the right words strung themselves together in my brain.
"So you do feel it!" I half whispered, since Ms Fields chose that moment to return from the teachers' lounge. The bell rang, signaling the end of free period. I ignored it.
"This means I'm not crazy, and there is something strange going on. Am I the only person you feel that with? Do you have a type of pathokinesis? Have you done any research on this?"
As excited as I felt, Jasper looked equally exasperated as he ran a hand over his face and sighed loudly. He stood and started gathering his things, making me think he was going to bypass all of my questions. I followed him to the door, fully prepared to keep up the interrogation if needed.
"This isn't really the best place to talk about it. There's too many people that might hear," he finally said as we headed toward the east side of campus. "Besides, there's not enough time to hash it out on the way to your art class."
The statement momentarily sidetracked my thoughts.
"You're walking me to class?"
"There's only so many risks I'm willing to take," he replied, the corner of his mouth tugging slightly upward. I wasn't 100% sure what he meant by that; maybe he was referring to the run in with Matthew earlier.
"Okay, then when?" I was nothing if not persistent. The door to my class was only a few feet away. It felt like if I didn't establish some sort of deadline now, I may never get the answers I wanted. Jasper's mouth set back into a thin line, and I wondered what he was thinking at that moment.
"I've got to swing by the hospital this afternoon to see Carlisle. I can give you a ride, and we can talk about it then. Deal?"
"Deal!" I smirked and turned to walk into class, feeling absolutely triumphant.
A/N: I'm sorry I've been behind on posting here. is the least user friendly out of all the sites I post on. If you want to see updates sooner, Wattpad or Quotev are usually the first to be updated. I hate that FFnet isn't as easy to use because it's the OG site I used back as a preteen lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the mass upload that I've done. Stay tuned for more!