Chapter 70 I don't own Merlin. This might just be my least favorite chapter so far.
"Hello, Arthur! Excited for tomorrow? I've never been to a coming of age ceremony. Well, that's not true, I saw two of the younger princesses' ceremonies, but never a crowning." Cassie asked excitedly the morning before his coming of age ceremony, most animosity over the Druid incident gone with her joy for him.
"I don't know if I would use the word excited like you do. You're practically bouncing off the walls." he said with a chuckle as the younger girl walked with him to the training field.
"Fancy a ride later? I've always found it calms me down." Cassie suggested, "Merlin could pack a lunch and come with us an-why are you looking at me like that?"
"I don't know about Hispania, but here, once you're married, you don't go courting another man."
"I'm not courting you!" Cassie cried, offended. "It was simply a friend wanting to spend time with you. Get off your high horse, Arthur. You're like a brother to me."
"Then I'm looking at you as if you were crazy. Merlin would do everything but calm me down. He talks so much!"
"Aww, you know you'd miss him!"
"No, I wouldn't." he deadpanned.
"Okay, fine. Just go for a ride, run your horse hard and it'll make you feel better. Worked for me all the time when I was younger."
"Why don't you ask Morgana and Guinevere?"
"I think you know why, Arthur." Cassie replied sadly.
"You're full of contradictions, you know. One of these days, I'll understand you."
"Good luck. There has yet to be a sane person to understand me completely."
"So who was this crazy person who understood you?"
"Edurne. My tutor, she taught me what I know about healing."
"Was she killed that night? When your family was…" Arthur asked softly, looking at her curiously.
"No, she passed away five years ago. Never knew what illness it was, but it took her quickly."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I've had to learn to just keep the good memories of everyone."
"Throw away the bad?"
"No, not necessarily. I remember those too, it's harder, but I can't lie about who they were. The last memory I have of my brothers was fighting with them. It was who they were, but still…. I would have liked for us to not have fought."
"Can I ask what the fight's about?" he asked, knowing she might not be so open any time soon and taking advantage.
"They arranged a marriage for me. To a man I'd never met. And 'advantageous match' or however you say it in English."
"I know I wouldn't like it if my father did that to me. I'd marry her, it's my duty. But I wouldn't like it." Arthur agreed, stopping near the weapons rack and looking at her. "It was a wonderful conversation, my Lady. I'm afraid I must train now."
"Right, I'll just be over there then. " Cassie said, walking away awkwardly and finding a shady spot to sit under.
"Cassie?" Gwen asked softly after Cassie opened the door for her.
"Yes, Gwen?" Cassie replied.
"C-can I talk to you?" Gwen said nervously.
"What for?" she asked in cold detachment.
"Cassie, please. We've apologized so many times. How were we to know?"
"Paying attention. That's how. I remember quite vividly talking to you about it. Both of you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm expecting my husband back any moment for lunch. Goodbye."
"Don't do this Cassie. You know we never meant to hurt you. It all just happened so fast."
"You still hurt me. In more ways than one." Cassie said in a watery voice, her lower lip trembling as she backed away and closed the door on Gwen's face.
"As did you." Gwen called back, just loud enough for Cassie to hear through the door and break down into quiet sobs.
"Cass? Cassie, what's wrong?" Owaine asked as he walked through the door to find her curled up in bed, crying.
"I don't know. Gwen stopped by… and then I got angry… and then I said something… and then she said something… and now I'm crying and I can't stop… No matter how hard I try." Cassie said through sobs and shaky breaths.
"You miss her. You miss them. We both know you do. Why won't you forgive them? You forgave Merlin." he said softly, rubbing circles on her back and kissing her softly.
"Merlin's different. He hasn't known me as long, nor is he a girl. I'm not even sure how muc I forgave him. I thought I could trust them, and the first thing they do… the first thing they do is save what I fear the most." Cassie answered, sitting up and taking deep breaths before looking at him with red rimmed eyes.
"No, my love. They saved a child. A Druid, but a child nonetheless." he said softly. "I don't know much about Druids. I don't know anything about them, really, but I do know that children may have the potential to become what you fear, but it doesn't mean that they already are that which you fear."
"Owaine, please. I don't want to fight with you. Not about this, I'll never change my thoughts on the Druids. The boy was manipulative and conniving, they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt, they really don't." Cassie replied quietly, hunching over where she was seated and holding her face in her hands.
"Okay, I won't say any more of it. Come on, I need a bath and you need to relax." he said, taking her hand and rubbing his thumb along the inside of her wrist.
"So bathing you will relax me?" Cassie said suppressing a smile.
"No, bathing with me will relax you. And me." he corrected with a wink and a smile as he untied the laces of her dress and slipped it off her shoulder.
"Somehow I don't believe that." Cassie said with a small smile, looking to the side and letting her magic fill up the tub with hot water and looking up at him through her eyelashes.
"What do you believe?" he asked with a wink, standing up and gathering her in his arms, enjoying her laughter.
"I can show you better than I can tell you." she replied as he placed her on the edge of the tub and undressed.
"You really better keep that promise." Owaine replied, leaning down and kissing her deeply before getting into the tub behind her and pulling her in. "I'm so glad you made this tub so big."
"Not as much as I am." Cassie replied blissfully, forgetting her problems for a few hours.
"I have to be there an hour earlier. Direct orders." Owaine said after he read the note given to him by a servant.
"Will you save me a dance for the party?" Cassie asked with a sweet smile as she helped him fasten his cloak.
"How about I save you one for after the party?" he countered suggestively.
"Depends on my mood, darling. Might not have enough drinks in me to bear to be with you." Cassie joked, kissing him chastely on the cheek and whispering in his ear words she knew he wanted to hear.
"I will definitely save you a dance for the whole night, my Queen." Owaine said with an excited chuckle, kissing her passionately before reluctantly turning around to leave.
"Dork." Cassie mumbled fondly under her breath as she turned around and began to do her makeup for the crowning ceremony.
"Enter." Cassie called out a while later when she heard the knock on the door.
"My Lady." one of the serving girls greeted as she came in.
"Camren, how are you?"
"Very well, my Lady. Thank you. I just need to change the bedsheets and take the laundry."
"It's perfectly fine. Go ahead." she replied, turning back around to finish pinning up her hair and disappearing behind the screen to change into her dress.
"Do you need anything else before I leave, my Lady?"
"Yes, actually, would you help me with the laces. I can't seem to get them tied." Cassie said, after having tied them with her magic too tight.
"Yes, my Lady." Camren said, going behind the screen and tying the dress up. "Congratulations, by the way." she added when she finished smoothing out the dress.
"For what?" Cassie asked with a confused chuckle, turning around to look at the girl.
"Well, you are with child aren't you?" she said, with a smile.
"N-no...I don't think so."
"Well, for the Court Midwife, you're not very observant when it comes to your body. The laundresses are all talking about it."
"I-I'm with child?" Cassie repeated breathlessly, her eyes glazing over slightly as she imagined herself with a child in her arms and cradled her womb absently.
"We think so. Or perhaps you're just eating too much." she added jokingly. "If you'll excuse me, my Lady. I must get back to my duties."
"Yes, thank you." Cassie said, still gazing into the mirror dreamily. "I really hope I am." Cassie whispered to herself, using her magic to lock the door and turning back to the mirror as she concentrated on using her magic to see the aura around herself, staring happily at the sky blue glow in her lower abdomen.
"Estoy en la dulce espera." she whispered to herself happily, staring into the mirror for another half hour before regaining her composure and wiping off the rivulets of tears that had fallen down her cheeks.
"Cassie, you okay?" Ellie asked as she walked out into the hallway and noted her dopey look.
"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. I just have something to tell Owaine. Preferably before we leave in three days hence."
"I do hope it's what I think." Ellie said with a sideways smile.
"It might be." Cassie said vaguely, knowing what she was suspecting, as every other woman in the castle was most likely suspecting it.
"Come, the ceremony's about to begin, we should take our places." Ellie said, hooking her arms through Cassie's and leading her over.
"This brings back memories. Of our ceremonies, but I never saw a crowning. The next in line was only four months shy of being crowned." Cassie whispered as everyone took their places.
"I find that it's better to live in the moment."
"We had a saying… roughly translated it says that remembering is living."
"Yes, but don't remember so much you forget to live, Cassie." Ellie whispered back with a pointed look as the trumpets sounded and everyone grew quiet.
Looking regal as ever, Arthur walked down the middle of the Hall, his cloak billowing behind him with each step before he stopped in front of the King and knelt down.
"Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of this kingdom and its dominion according to the statutes, customs and laws laid down by your forebears?" Uther said, standing over his son with the scepter in one hand, his crown glinting in the candle light as everyone looked on in pride.
"I do sire."
"Do you promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgments?" Uther asked as he continued with the ceremony
"I do, Sire."
"And do you swear allegiance to Camelot, now and for as long as you shall live?" he finished, holding the scepter out to his son as he asked the question.
"I, Arthur Pendragon, do pledge life and limb to your service and to the protection of the kingdom and its peoples." Arthur declared, reaching out to grab the scepter and looking into his father and King's eyes as he did so.
"Now being of age and heir apparent, from henceforth, you shall be Crown Prince of Camelot." Uther said, turning around and taking the crown, placing it on his son's head with great pride, clapping along with the rest of his Court as Arthur stood and faced the crowd.
"He looks just like his father, you know?" Cassie told Ellie with a wide smile as she caught Arthur's eye and winked subtly.
"Yes, he does. Although I've heard he's much more his mother's son." she commented, noticing the wink. "Why'd you wink at him? Not tired of Owaine already?"
"No." Cassie said with a laugh, "Just proud of him. Reminds me of my brother. What I'd assume he looked like when he was… you know." she said, stopping short as she remembered herself.
"Yeah, I do." Ellie said, turning her face to look at her sister-in-law just as the stained-glass window shattered and a horse and knight appeared in the room, the screams from the courtiers loud in the hall as swords were drawn from their scabbards.
"What in the devil's name?" the king asked, stepping forward slightly while the dark knight just moved his horse closer to them and the knights protectively circled the royals.
Cassie could feel her hand being tugged away while the servants and courtiers all backed away frightened. She pulled her hand free and went to stand in front of the Lady Morgana just in time to hear the clinking of the gauntlet on the stone floor.
"I, Sir Owaine, accept your challenge." he said, bending down and grabbing the gauntlet before Arthur could, stepping forward and looking up at the knight seriously while Cassie swayed on the spot dangerously.
"Single combat. Noon tomorrow. Till the death." he said after a short pause, his horse rearing up slightly before he turned around and left the chamber. As soon as he was gone the court erupted in chatter excited for the upcoming battle.
"Are you okay, Cassie?" Morgana asked when she saw her so pale.
"Yeah, I'm just going to go lie down. You don't need to tell Owaine." Cassie told her friend quietly, taking shuddering breaths and sneaking out through the back door.
"I was looking for you, Cass." Owaine said as he walked into their shared chambers an hour later.
"Not hard enough, I guess." she mumbled, putting the hairbrush on the dresser and looking at him in the reflection of the mirror.
"Cassie." he sighed, looking at her disbelievingly.
"No, Owaine. It's a fight to the death!" Cassie said in exasperation. "How could you accept a fight to the death?"
"He challenged the Prince. Cassie. It's my sworn duty to protect my King and my Prince." he told her calmly.
"And what of your duty to your family?" Cassie shot back, turning around and looking at him challengingly.
"Protecting them helps me protect you." he told her, placing his hands gently on her shoulders.
"I don't like it, Owaine. That knight didn't feel right. Something about him..." Cassie said, tapering off at the end.
"Cassie, you're just worried. And for no reason. You know I'm a good fighter. A good warrior." he told her, straightening up subconsciously.
"No, Owaine. No matter how good you are, fighting someone you don't know is dangerous. Please, pull out." Cassie told him, showing the sincerity in her eyes.
"I can't, Cassie. My honor is on the line." he said, walking over to the bed and taking off his boots.
"Your honor?" she asked, horrified. "You'd risk your life to save your honor? What of your family?! Are we supposed to just let you die to keep your honor intact?"
"Cassie, I don't know how they did it in Hispania, but if you lose your honor here, you'll have nothing. No one will take you at your word, and our children, whenever we have some, if I have no honor, they will have no standing. Anywhere." he told her, throwing his shirt on the ground and walking barefoot closer to her.
"Yeah, except our honor wasn't won through stupid challenges! It was won on the battlefield, under real conditions! Whatever honor you gained there was for life! And it wasn't lost because of some stupid challenge."
"I'm not pulling out! That's final!" he yelled, making her jump slightly.
"Fine. But don't expect me there tomorrow to watch you die. I have a terrible feeling about this, and I won't stand by." Cassie told him, standing up and stalking to the door.
"Cassie. Cass- I'm sorry." he said placatingly, walking towards her and regretting it.
"No! Your honor is on the line. Go ahead and fight. But you're doing it without me." she told him, opening the door and walking out, closing it behind him and sprinting to the end of the corridor, letting her feet carry her wherever they wanted.
She found herself in the alcove with the hidden passage, reaching up to the sconce and opening the passage to the tower, letting her magic seep into the stone wall to open the door into the tower.
"He's a complete idiot! How can he not care?" she asked herself tearfully, letting her magic summon any book and lighting the lanterns along the floor. "I can use this to save him!" Cassie mumbled to herself, eagerly flipping through the pages of the book and reading all the spells over and over, absorbing the knowledge as best she could for the next few hours, ignoring the tears that came and went.
"Cassie." Owaine said with an audible sigh of relief when he saw her sitting down on the floor outside their door, leaning her head against the post. "I waited for you in your chambers. Where were you?" he asked her, sitting down on the ground next to her and taking her hand in his.
"Someplace you couldn't follow me." she answered quietly, her eyes swollen from crying and reading.
"The tower?"
"Yes. The tower." she whispered, pulling her hand out of his gently and turning her head away.
"I'm sorry, Cassie. I didn't mean to yell at you. And I don't mean to insinuate that my honor is more important than you." he told her, gently turning her head to face him.
"So don't fight. Stay with me tomorrow, pull out!" Cassie pleaded with tears in her eyes. "Please."
"I can't break the Knight's Code, Cassie. I can't. Come inside, please. Let's get some rest." he said quietly, standing up and offering her a hand up. One she refused.
"I don't want to, Owaine. I can't stand the thought of losing you, and everytime I think of that knight, all I get is chills. Like he's dangerous. I don't want to get rest, because it means that tomorrow will come.
"Then come inside. We won't rest. I'll try my best to keep the sun from coming up." he joked, hoping she'd feel better.
"Okay." she relented, standing up and letting him open the door for her.
"Want something to drink?" he asked awkwardly as she sat down in front of the fireplace and ignored him.
"No."
"Cassie. Talk to me." he said, kneeling in front of her and looking up into her eyes.
"What do you want me to say? Fight? I can't do that, Owaine. I love you, but I can't say that I agree with you on this because I don't." she told him, letting the tears spill over. "I'm begging you, don't fight." Cassie said, kneeling in front of him and taking his hands. "Please. Don't fight. Stay for me."
"Ca-"
"If you won't stay for me, then stay for your child." she told him, putting his hand over her womb. "Please, don't fight. For him."
"Cassie," Owaine told her, the smile on his face beaming as he hugged her tightly. "My love. You're with child?" he asked, forgetting everything they were talking about before.
"Yeah, I found out just before the ceremony. I was going to tell you the moment we were together, but then…"
"I love you." he said, kissing her deeply and undressing her with practiced ease, ignoring her weak protest at the beginning. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too, my Knight." Cassie told him, falling on top of him and using her magic to call over the heavy blanket from the bed and rolling on top of it...
"I know you might not understand it, but I'm fighting for our child." Owaine told her softly, nipping her earlobe gently before kissing her neck.
"I understand fighting for our child. But that's not what you're doing, Owaine. You're fighting for yourself." she told him, turning around in his arms where they lay on the floor and looking into his eyes. "No matter how you try to frame it, you're fighting for your honor. Your pride."
"No, I'm not. I'm fighting for his future. Or hers. No knight would go near a lady whose father was disgraced, and no one would count on the son of a disgraced knight to be any different from his father. I'm doing this for our child."
"I- maybe now, but not last night you weren't." she told him, letting a tear fall down. "Owaine, I understand why, but I'm begging you, don't fight. I'd rather my husband be a coward and alive, than brave and dead."
"I won't die, Cassie. I'm not a bad fighter. I am a damn good one, and you know it. I may not be the best of the knights, but I was trained by the best. And I've beaten Prince Arthur a few times as well. Cassie, I'm going to win. But I can't if you don't believe in me. If you're not there. Have faith in me, my Queen."
"I'll go. I'll watch, and I'll support you. Because that's what we do. Wives support their husbands through everything. But I won't enjoy it." Cassie told him sadly.
"You can yell at me, hit me, do whatever you want to me after I win, my love. Because with you there, there's not a chance in hell that I'd lose. It's for you and our baby." he told her with a wide smile, peppering her with kisses. "Try to enjoy it. For me."
"Owaine-" Cassie began, only to be interrupted by him tickling her some.
"How about now? Can you enjoy it now?" he asked, kissing her all over and smiling at her giggles as he continued tickling her.
"Yes! Okay, yes. Stop it, Owaine!" Cassie said through peals of laughter.
"Know what else you'll enjoy?" Owaine asked her with a wink.
"Sleeping on the bed? You need your rest." Cassie told him, standing up and pulling him up with her, shaking her head at him when he made a move. "Sorry, love. Go to sleep." Cassie told him, pushing him onto the bed and getting a nightgown for herself.
"You're no fun." he told her, turning on his side and pulling her closer to him when she got in bed.
"No, I can tell you'll spoil our child rotten." Cassie told him with a deep sigh, smiling at the words as he placed his hand over her womb and kissed her neck.
"I certainly will, my love. They'll love me more than you." he told her with a kiss on the top of her head, closing his eyes and letting sleep take over, missing the tears that began to fall down her face.
"You want to come with me to Prince Arthur's?" Owaine asked, finishing pulling his boots on.
"No." Cassie answered with a laugh. "Why would I want to?"
"To support me? To tease him, I did see that wink you sent his way last night. Were you trying to make me jealous? Because it won't work. The prince is an honourable man, he wouldn't be with another man's wife, much less one of his knight's." he told her jokingly.
"So it worked, I see. You got jealous of a man who would never go near me with a seven-foot lance pole." Cassie replied jokingly, her eyes twinkling.
"Let's say it did, you're going to see just how jealous I can get. And what I'll do about it." he answered, leaning over and kissing her deeply. "I should go now. It's rude to keep the Prince of Camelot waiting."
"Eh, he's used to it by now with Merlin. Don't think he'll really do much more than moan about it." Cassie told him offhandedly, waving it away and pulling him down for another kiss.
"I really must go now, Cass." he told her with heavy breaths.
"He can wait." Cassie told him, biting down on her lower lip seductively while she let her magic unclothe him. "I want you right now, and it really is very rude to keep your wife waiting."
"Oh, you littl..." he said with a grin, his words mumbled as their lips collided in a passionate kiss and her legs wrapped around his torso.
"Hey, Cass." Merlin said as she walked with Owaine to Arthur's chambers.
"Have fun, boys." Cassie said, ignoring Merlin and kissing Owaine lightly.
"She's never gonna forgive me, is she?" Merlin asked him in an undertone as she went out.
"Give her time. She forgave Gwen and me. When Lady Morgana had that beetle making her sick or whatever it was." he told Merlin with a sympathetic clap on the back.
"Sir Owaine, ready?"
"Never been more ready in my life. Except for my wedding day." he said, correcting himself quickly.
"No, I wouldn't think so. Merlin, start helping him with his armor." Arthur ordered, putting on his surcoat and tying his belt.
"Sure thing, Arthur." Merlin said, helping Owaine with all his armor while chatting away non-stop.
"Merlin, please, shut up." Owaine said, his patience running thin after so much nonsense.
"You've never fought in mortal combat before. It's different. It's not like the training I've been giving you." Arthur told Owaine seriously as Merlin finished tying off his cloak quietly after a quick apology.
"Yeah, I know." Owaine answered cockily, being turned around by an exasperated arthur.
"Listen to me. The problem is, we've never seen him fight. You have to quickly get the measure of him." Arthur told him, making sure he got the importance of the words as he looked into the younger knight's eyes.
"But I have the same advantage. He's never seen me fight." Owaine replied with the same fervor.
"True." Arthur agreed reluctantly.
"You've watched me." Owaine asked, looking at his prince expectantly.
"Yes."
"And?" he asked, wanting to hear what he thought, if Arthur thought that he could win.
"And I know no one braver." Arthur answered, grabbing his shoulder as he smiled on proudly. "Remember, all it takes to kill a man is one well-aimed blow." he said, stepping back and giving him his advice.
When the door opened, both Merlin and Arthur looked over to see who it was, the former smiling as she walked in and curtsied at Owaine.
"The Lady Morgana asked me to give you this token. She wishes you to wear it for luck." Gwen said, holding out a strip of red fabric for him to take.
"You can thank her, and tell her I shall wear it with pride. But I won't need luck." he answered cockily,
"Cassie already give it to you, then?" Merlin asked jokingly, clearing his throat when Arthur looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Right, my Lords, Merlin." Gwen said, backing out of the room with a last meaningful glance at Merlin before turning around and leaving.
"Merlin?" Owaine said, looking at him as he shared a glance with Arthur.
"Yeah?"
"My helmet. I need it."
"Right, yeah. Here." Merlin said handing it over to him and backing up so he and Arthur could walk out, Arthur talking to him about strategies and last minute advice while they made their way out to the tournament grounds.
"Now remember, find the flow of the fight; try to control it." Arthur told him as they walked into the field, letting him walk to his position by the knight while Arthur went to his place in front of them.
"The fight shall be to the knight's rules! To the death!" Arthur said for the crowd to hear, sparing a glance at Cassie as he walked into the stands.
"Let the battle commence!" he called out, hearing the crowd cheer as the two knights got into fighting position and the battle began.
The black knight struck first, his sword falling heavy against Owaine's shield as he drove Owaine back. He kept striking, letting the momentum of his fight lead him as he battered Owaine, his shield showing all the knicks. Owaine managed to black a particularly nasty swing at him, moving away from the knight to gather some room and fix his grip on the shield. But all too soon the knight began swinging at him again, always on the attack. He swung and swung, following Owaine as he spun around and moved far away from the dark knight, finding his footing and blocking more swings. Owaine, having had enough, took his first swing, one easily blocked by the knight as he stopped the sword in its downward momentum and spun it away from him, opening Owaine's chest for a hard kick and making him fall on the ground.
"Please." Cassie muttered to herself as the black knight swung down, tightening her hold on Ellie's hand and sighing in relief as Owaine rolled out of the way just in time.
But the knight continued attacking relentlessly until he had Owaine on one knee, his shield the only protection.
"One well aimed blow!" Arthur called to him, seeing him floundering.
Owaine saw his chance as he held the knight's sword above his head, stabbing up and piercing his gut.
"He did it!" Cassie breathed out in relief as she saw the blade pierce, smiling widely and squeezing Ellie's hand even harder, only for her world to shatter away when the knight pressed on with even more fervence, swinging his sword over and over until he knocked Owaine on the floor and plunged his sword into his body.
"Cassie." Ellie said, looking at her sister-in-law worriedly while the crowd looked on in abject horror.
"Who will take up my challenge?" the knight asked, throwing his gauntlet on the floor and staring at the royals' box.
"I, Sir Pellinore, take up the challenge." he said, jumping over the palisade and banding down to pick up the gauntlet angrily.
"So be it."
"Cassie. Talk to me, please." Ellie said from beside her, watching the younger blonde's vacant expression as she stared at her husband's dead body. "Cassie?"
But all she could focus on was her husband, all she saw was the knight plunging his sword into Owaine's chest. Over and over again. It was like she was in a tunnel, everything else was black, every noise, every smell, every thing. She was numb, and she didn't care about anything anymore. Everything she cared for was gone. There was nothing left in that moment, and she couldn't care less.