Chapter 74 I don't own Merlin, and I'm binging it on Netflix. Again. Hate me, or love me, please review, I thrive on constructive criticism.
"What do you mean she's lost her child? The world cannot be this cruel to her!" Merlin said in outrage, pacing the room and trying not to cry.
"Merlin! Hold it together, I need your help. Cassie needs you. Get me towels, clean water and a basin, then help me get her to your chambers. There's more privacy." Gaius said, going towards the stairs and making sure his bed was clear.
"Okay, here they are. Now what?"
"Wash your hands, this isn't going to be very clean." Gaius said, washing his hands quickly and positioning Cassie's legs so he could duck between and look.
"What are you doing?"
"Merlin, now's not the time for a lesson! She's got a high temperature, I'm afraid she might be septic." Gaius said, looking up and directing him with his hand to stand by her head. "I need you to hold her legs up like this, I need my hands."
"Okay." Merlin said, taking each leg and holding them up while Gaius tried to see how dilated she was.
"She's not dilated at all." he muttered to himself, "You can release her legs now, I need to palpate." he told Merlin, placing his hands on her womb and pressing down to feel how swollen her uterus was and any other organs. "She's definitely pregnant. Or was at any rate. But she's not dilated. At all."
"What's that mean?"
"It means there's nothing we can do. She's dying." Gaius said wearily, meeting his nephew's eyes sadly.
"Can't you cut her open and take it out? We've seen her do it before."
"That was different, the baby was alive, and fully grown. We'd be cutting blind! There's greater risk of cutting something vital" he replied shortly, his grief overcoming his physician attitude.
"Bu- magic! I can do magic, just tell me what to do and I'll do it, Gaius. Please." Merlin begged seriously.
"We could get caught. You could." Gaius said at once.
"I don't care, not as long as she lives. She has to live, Gaius. Please. Tell me what to do." he pleaded once more.
"There's a spell. It's long, complicated. And it takes a lot of power. I could never do it myself, but I've seen Priestesses of the Old Religion do it before."
"Trying couldn't hurt. Just tell me what to do." Merlin said in exasperation.
"Okay, put your hands over her womb like this." Gaius said, showing him where and how to place his hands and looking at him in hesitation. "Merlin this spell is probably more powerful than anything you've done yet. You might not be able to do it."
"Gaius, I'm going to do it. You've always had faith in me before. It's no different this time."
"I need to lift her legs again, stay where you are." he ordered, bending her legs up in a forty-five degree angle and making sure they stayed in place before he grabbed the basin and held it under her. "It's going to be painful for her, we're essentially emptying her womb without an opening." Gaius warned him. "Whatever you do, keep your hands where they are. Now, you need to hold your concentration, if she's not too unconscious, she will cry out in pain. You have to ignore it, and cannot slip up in concentration. Focus only on her and the energy you feel coming from her."
"What happens if I slip?"
"Nothing pleasant. No, close your eyes and try to feel it."
"Yeah, I feel it, it's pulsating."
"No, Merlin, that's just her pulse. Try and feel beneath that." Gaius told him.
"Okay, yeah, I can feel something, like humming or something I can't describe it."
"Good, now I want you to repeat after me. Ācnyse þære deádboren fram þone cwiþ, ofádrince þære géotenlicre fram þone cwiþ, ġehǣlþ heo feorhbolde ond bréostlocan ealltæwe."
"Ācnyse þære deádboren fram þone cwiþ, ofádrince þære géotenlicre fram þone cwiþ, ġehǣlþ heo feorhbolde ond bréostlocan ealltæwe." Merlin said, breathing steadily while he concentrated on the feel of her energy, pouring his magic into every syllable as he repeated the chant over and over again for almost thrity minutes.
"He did it!" Gaius muttered to himself, surprised as her body began to tense in pain and her arteries became distended. He prepared himself with a firm hold on the basin to catch all that flowed out of her, ignoring the squelching and gushing sound as all the fluid was released and the foetus fell into the basin with a sickening plop. As soon as Gaius was sure that all the fluid and placenta had been eliminated, checking visually of course, he moved on to making sure there was no damage done to her vagina. Once he was satisfied that she was in no danger of infections from open cuts, he checked her femoral pulse and let out a sigh of relief. "You're done, Merlin."
"Is she alright?" he asked, trying to feel her energy with his magic once more while Gaius washed his hands.
"Physically, yes." Gaius said, drying his hands with the towel and hugging his nephew tightly. "And it's all thanks to you."
"If you hadn't known what to do…" Merlin said, looking at her worriedly.
"She's been through a lot, Merlin. But she's strong." Gaius said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezing, "And she's got you looking out for her. Merlin, what you did today was no easy feat. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks. I just hope she's okay."
"Come, we must clean this up first." Gaius told him, motioning around at his room. "It's both messy and now filthy. I got most of it, but…." Gaius said, signaling the basin and the few splotches on the floor..
"That was all in her?"
"It's usually more the farther along they are. I suspect there was some fluid mixed in with the blood from earlier. I need you to gather the ingredients for a blood replenishing potion. I'll take care in here."
"What do I tell them?"
"Tell them… stay here, help me clean up. They'll be suspicious if we finish up too soon." Gaius said, changing his mind in order to protect his ward.
"Yes, Gaius." Merlin said, going out to the main chamber and grabbing another bucket and a brush to mop up the floors with and a cloth for Gaius to clean the tabletops.
"Merlin, be careful… with that." Gaius said, a few seconds too late when Merlin stood up, having just finished mopping up the floor and bumping into the basin. His magic, however, reacted instinctively and much like his second day in Camelot, he stopped it midair. This time, however, he was able to place it back where it was as if it never happened.
"You're getting better at that!" Gaius said, almost surprisingly.
"I have a great teacher." Merlin told him with a faltering smile, taking the basin gingerly and asking Gaius what to do with that as he walked out to the front.
"It's still a body. And I know Cassie believes it deserves a burial. We should give her that much." Gaius said sadly, rifling around in the front chamber for a chest big enough.
"How far along was she, Gaius?"
"I don't know, Merlin. Three, maybe four months. I couldn't tell you." Gaius said sadly, finding a chest big enough for a few apples.
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? Did you see?" Merlin asked as Gaius placed a piece of cloth inside to line the box.
"Can't tell, no way to see." Gaius said, gingerly taking the small body out of the basin and drying it off, placenta and everything, before placing it in the small chest and closing it gently.
"It's so small. I could hold it in my hand and still have plenty of space. That chest is far too big." Merlin said softly, watching as Gaius placed it on the table and sat down wearily.
"Yes, it is." Gaius said sadly.
"How can someone so good lose something as pure as this? Why is this happening to her?" Merlin asked sadly, looking at the chest placed in front of him.
"Fate has a deadly hand in our affairs, Merlin. I have no answer for your questions. I'm not sure anyone does."
"Should we wait for Cassie to wake up before we bury it?" Merin asked after a few moments of silence.
"Let's try and wake her up. The sooner she's told, the better." Gaius said, taking a deep breath and collecting himself before he took the box in his hands and walked back up the stairs. "Cassie. Wake up." he said gently, sitting down beside her and shaking her awake.
"Gaius? Where am I? What happened?" she asked in a pained voice, seeing their bereft expressions. "D-did Arthur die?" she asked them in a broken voice, tears already spilling down her face.
"No, Cassie. Arthur's fine. It's something else." Merlin answered, sitting down opposite Gaius and taking her hand in his, rubbing the cold out.
"What is it? Please, just tell me." she begged brokenly, not wanting to think who else it could have possibly been.
"My dear, I'm afraid to tell you you've lost your child." Gaius said gently, placing the box on the bed in front of him. "I'm really sorry, Cassie. These are his remains. We were waiting for you to wake up to know what to do." he finished slowly, not wanting to sound insensitive.
"I have no child?" she asked, her voice rising in pitch as she shook her head trying to wake up from the endless nightmare, her lips trembling imperceptibly as she accepted the chest with shaking hands.
"I am truly sorry, Casiopea." Gaius told her his eyes watering at the sight of her heart-broken face. "I wouldn't open it if I were you." Gaius said gently, a warm callous hand over hers that stopped her from opening the chest.
"C-can I- do you know if- did I make this happen?" she asked, her voice hollow as she tried in vain to comprehend everything.
"I don't know." he answered softly.
"Why me?" she asked in a whisper, her lip trembling even more as she held back the sobs that wanted so dearly to escape.
"I don't know." he answered again.
"Why must I lose everyone?" she asked tremulously, the tears spilling down her face silently as her body shook with suppressed sobs.
"You haven't lost everyone." Merlin answers gently, regretting so as she turned away from him and looked to Gaius.
"I- will you please bury him. My child, Gaius. Can you bury him? Please." she begged, looking up at Gaius with wide, watery eyes that swam with dark memories.
"Of course I will. Where do you want us to bury him?"
"I don't know." Cassie said, feeling the coldness seeping through her body with every passing breath as her eyes burned and her cheeks flushed.
"His name?" Gaius asked gently.
"I-I don't know." she repeated, her tears so thick she could barely make out shapes.
"Did you and Owaine not speak of this?" Merlin asked gingerly.
"No, we didn't. Ever. I've only known three days! How can this be?" Cassie cried out, her body shaking with loud sobs as she clutched the chest tightly, taking her hand from Merlin's and bringing the small box up to her chest. "He can't die without a name. I can't live without him. Them. They can't be gone!" she said, rocking back and forth as she started to hyperventilate, feeling the walls closing in around her and seeing dark splotches through the tears. "I can't be alone again."
"You're not alone, Cassie. No matter how hard you push us away, we're here." Merlin told her, reaching forward and hugging her tightly as she broke down. "We're here, Cassie." he whispered once more.
"¡No puede ser! ¡No puedo estar sola, los perdí! Estoy sola, inequívocamente sola." she cried out in a raw voice, clawing at Merlin's jacket and sobbing into his chest.
"I'm here for you Cassie. I'm always going to be here." Merlin whispered over and over as she used up all her energy crying her eyes out.
"Iorwerth, that's his name." Cassie managed to say before she began hiccough consistently from all the crying and lack of oxygen. "Iorwerth." she repeated quietly, hanging onto Merlin as if he were her lifeline. "My beautiful Iorwerth." she whispered one last time before the blackness overtook her and she fell back onto the bed.
"Gaius! Is she okay? Please tell me she is." Ellie said as soon as he opened the door nearly two hours later.
"She's alive. Okay is a loaded term, my Lady." he said, looking down at the box in his hands.
"What is that?" she asked, looking at him carefully.
"It's her child. I was going to bury him." Gaius said, looking pitiful and old as he took the shovel and his bag from beside the door and hid the box behind his back.
"I'll do it, Gaius. You should stay." Leon said, taking the box and the shovel and nodding in explanation towards Ellie.
"Thank you, Leon. Come, my Lady. You look like you need to sit down. Bring us some water, too. We've run out." Gaius called to the knight's retreating back.
"How is Cassie?"
"Inconsolable, she's been crying and hiccoughing. We tried to tell her as gently as possible, but it's just not news you can give gently. Merlin's with her right now."
"Will she be okay?" she asked nervously, running her thumb over her lower stomach absentmindedly.
"Physically, yes. Otherwise, only time will tell." Gaius said, pouring some clean water into a goblet and handing it to her. "Drink, my Lady, you need it."
"I suppose I do. Gaius, I think I might be with child. Can you...?" Ellie asked, trailing off at the end as he nodded and stood up.
"It might be best if we do this next door, there's not much privacy here if Merlin comes out." he said, his hand gently leading her out the door in front of him.
"Thank you, Gaius."
"Think nothing of it, my Lady. It is my job." he said, pressing down gently on her lower stomach. "If you are, it's too soon to tell this way. We'd have to use the barley test and that'll take some time. Perhaps when you arrive at Lord Urien's lands his physician will check." Gaius told her, looking towards the closed door that led to her former bedchambers with a sad look.
"Yes, of course. How do you think Cassie would take it? If I told her?"
"I think that at this moment it might not be the best idea. I don't know how she'd react." Gaius told her, wearily walking to the door and holding it open for Ellie to go through.
POST CHAPTER A/N The spell reads: Expel the foetus from the womb, drain the fluid from the womb, heal her body, mind, and soul completely. I know, hate me. I cried so hard, this was too hard. I wrote and rewrote it a million times and I still don't think it's perfect. Please don't hate me, too much.