Chapter 76 I don't own Merlin. Strange place to end last chapter, could barely start this one, let's hope it turns out okay.
"Con su permiso, Majestad." came Adalberto's voice from the other side of her door.
"I've told you before, Adalberto, that's no longer my title. I haven't been royalty since I left Hispania." Cassie said, opening the door for him and going back to the chair she had been sitting in.
"All due respect, my Lady, but you will always be a royal." he told her, closing the door behind himself and taking a seat. "I've come to offer my condolences."
"Thank you, Adalberto. I would much rather be alone at the moment." Cassie responded, not looking at him.
"I was just visiting the Lady Eleanor. She told me about what happened. I was hoping you'd allow me to check you over."
"No need, Adalberto. I'm fine." Cassie told him bluntly, going back to finishing to embroider her mantilla.
"It's been years since I saw one of those." he said, ignoring her attitude. "It's progressing beautifully, my Lady. You have quite the talent with a needle and thread."
"Adalberto, please. I would much rather be alone. I am perfectly fine." Cassie told him, trying to hone in her patience and not snap. Again.
"Very, well. My door is always open." he said, bowing respectfully and closing the door with a gentle click.
"I hate this." Cassie mumbled to herself, leaving the embroidery and walking out the door aimlessly.
She eventually found her way out to the back garden where she and Owaine had been married and sat down on the ground under the arch, thinking back on the best day of her life with a fresh round of tears streaming down her face. She stayed in that position until she saw the sky begin to darken and quickly closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind so she could say the incantation in time.
"Āsundra þéos gefégednesse, béte þéos bréostlocan, ġehǣl þéos cbeftes." she whispered, closing her eyes, once she managed to clear her mind.
"Cassie? Can we talk?" Ellie asked timidly, walking up to her and crouching down in front of her.
"Nothing I can really do about it, can I?" Cassie asked, opening her eyes and glaring at the horizon.
"Cassie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said in the forest. You know I trust you. I trust your judgement. I was just worried about you. Worried for you." she said softly, taking her hands in hers and waiting for Cassie to look at her before continuing.
"So why'd you say it?" Cassie asked airily. "Why?"
"Magic scares me. You don't, but magic does." Ellie answered in a vulnerable voice. "Magic took our husbands from us." she said in a cracked voice, choking back a soft sob.
"It wasn't magic, Eleanor. Magic is only a tool. A sword doesn't make the decision to kill, the man who wields the sword does. The same goes for magic; if the intent behind it is bad, the outcome will also be." Cassie told her, her voice almost raw from the emotion. "An evil sorceress killed them," she added, her voice choking, "an evil sorceress who used her magic to kill them as an assassin uses a blade."
"Cassie, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me!" she said, outright crying harshly while her body shook with sobs.
"Ellie, I was only overreacting!" Cassie sobbed back, leaning forward and hugging her friend and sister. "There's nothing to forgive! If anything I should be the one begging forgiveness. I've been a right nightmare. To everyone. It should be me who apologizes."
"You have reason to, Cassie. You've lost more than anyone would ever survive when you were so young, and you managed to be happy again. You will manage it again. You're the reason why I'm keeping it together." she said, disentangling herself and using her small handkerchief to dab at the tears. "Well, kind of." she added with a watery chuckle.
"Ellie, I really don't mean to be so rude. I swear, I just… my patience is just so thin right now. And I can't use my magic. I've never felt so alone in my life. I've always had my magic. Always." she whispered tearfully, wiping her nose softly. "I can't stand it. This hollow feeling. I used to have a constant companion, even when I was alone in the woods, I used to always have something I could count on. I never dreamt it would disappear."
"It might have more to do with losing Owaine and your child. Cassie, I don't believe your magic is in the Otherworld. And if it is, then you should be happy, it means Owaine is in Annwfn, and that's good. It's the equivalent to your heaven." she said gently, putting her hair behind her ear and standing up slowly. "We should go inside, it's late and you've been out here since noon. Your face is red from the sun. and you must be hungry."
"I'm not, I'd rather stay here. The memories are good." Cassie said, looking down at her lap and twisting her hands.
"The good thing about memories, Cassie, is that you can see them wherever you are. Come." Ellie said, pulling her up gently and leading her back through the gardens toward the manor. "Sup with me and Elle. She wants to play with you."
"Ellie, I-"
"Please, Cassie. I can't stand to have dinner alone another night. Caelia and Bruin can only do so much, and they have a long journey to make." she beseeched with wide eyes.
"I'll have dinner, but I'm going to-"
"You don't have to stay, Cassie. I just don't want to be alone."
"But I do." Cassie whispered soft enough she couldn't hear as they walked to Ellie's chambers.
"Ca-ca!" baby Ellie gurgled when she saw her walk in beside her mother, crawling quickly over to her and clutching her skirt.
"Thank you for watching her, Caelia." Ellie said with a strained smile, grasping her friend's hand and giving it a little squeeze while Cassie carried Ellie deeper into the room and sat down on the floor to play with.
"I know I'd asked you to keep me company tonight, but I managed to convince Cassie to not be alone tonight. Besides, you do have a long trip tomorrow, best to be well rested." Ellie whispered to her, smiling as her daughter giggled brightly on the floor and played with Cassie.
"Are you sure? I can stay with both of you either way." she offered kindly.
"You're my best friend, Caelia, but tonight I need to be with Cassie." Ellie replied, turning to watch the two. "She doesn't want to be with anyone, she barely even agreed to dine with me, but I think she just needs to be insisted upon. I really think I can get through to her. Make her see reason."
"After what she's gone through, I'm surprised she's even speaking."
"She spent almost four full days without uttering a word, and the few words she's spoken since then are 'leave me alone.' It's not healthy, and she is family."
"I'll go. Goodnight, Ellie. Goodnight, Cassie. Bye-bye baby." she said, waving her fingers in front of the smiling child's face and kissing both girls on the cheek before leaving.
"I'll get them to send up some dinner, Cassie. Do you mind watching my daughter for a little while?"
"She won't have it any other way." Cassie answered with a sigh while she tried to extricate her necklaces from the girl's grip.
"That's a beautiful pendant, did Owaine gift it to you?" she asked as she walked in a minute later.
"No, I got it two night ago." Cassie answered absentmindedly, taking the necklace and stuffing it into her dress.
"From this mystery sorcerer?" she clarified, looking worriedly at her daughter.
"No, not from him. Besides, all it does is make you invisible." Cassie answered, grabbing the amulet and covering the stone so she would become invisible. "See?" her disembodied voice asked as the baby girl looked around and started crying that she was gone.
"Does it only work with magic?" Ellie asked, going over and picking up her daughter.
"Yes, apparently it only works with my magic. Gildas didn't disappear when he grabbed it. It's linked to me." Cassie answered, reappearing beside her and gently patting the crying girl's head.
"Your dinner, my Ladies." a servant's voice came after a quick knock on the door.
"Come in." Ellie said, shushing the crying babe gently.
"Is there anything else you need?" she asked dutifully, waiting for the answer.
"I would ask you to have someone bring up warm water to bathe my daughter later." Ellie answered with a small, fake smile.
"Yes, my Lady." the servant replied, curtsying quickly and leaving, any offense she would have felt at any other time gone because of the circumstances.
"You know, the one thing I've always liked about having my magic?" Cassie said quietly as she fed the small baby.
"Do you want me to guess?" she asked, pushing around the food on her plate before reluctantly taking a bite.
"Water. I never had to wait for the tub to be full and hot to bathe. I think the servants asked themselves how I kept clean since they never took any water up." Cassie responded.
"It does seem helpful." she commented, chewing her food silently
"Not so much anymore." Cassie said dully.
"She doesn't like it when you look off like that." Ellie told her, finishing her plate of food and standing up to take the fussy child.
"Sorry, I can't help it. I just… have moments where I forget what happened. All of it, and then I remember and it just hits me all over again. Losing him. Losing my child. Losing my family. Ellie, I don't think I should be here. All I'm doing is upsetting your daughter. And you. I can tell." Cassie whispered, her food lay untouched.
"You can only leave if you finish all your food, Cassie." Ellie admonished, adding immediately after she saw the younger blonde take a bite "And you don't upset us. She just misses her father."
"We all do." Cassie answered, eating in silence for the rest of the night while the Lady Eleanor put her daughter to sleep.
"Alys wanted to speak with you today, but she couldn't find you anywhere." Ellie said in hushed tones as she stood over her daughter's crib.
"I know, I heard her knockin and hid." Cassie answered guiltily, pulling out her amulet and disappearing for a split second before reappearing by the door. "It was low, I know, but I just can't-I couldn't- I'm a horrible person!" she said, breaking down and crying into her hands while the baby began crying from the crib.
"Cassie! Shh, don't worry, don't cry!" Ellie soothed, picking her daughter up and trying to soothe them both at the same time. "You aren't a horrible person for wanting some time alone after such a loss. You're an amazing, kind person. Don't cry, Cassie."
"I can't stand to see her so close to giving birth while I lost everything." she whispered brokenly, quiet sobs racking her body as she held them in for the sake of the baby.
"Oh, Cassie." Ellie whispered, bouncing her daughter soothingly in her arms while she looked sorrowfully at her sister-in-law. "Cassie, I know it hurts. I've been in your shoes, I've lost a child before. It doesn't make you a horrible person, it just makes you human. No one's infallible, Cass. I would have done the same if I could have when I lost my child. Alas, all I got was a lock that didn't keep everyone out. Alys would understand, why don't you tell anyone?" she asked, looking at her.
"I don't want their pity. I have it from Leon, and Merlin, and Gaius, and now Adalberto. I don't want it from anyone else. It would be the end of me." Cassie confessed in a whisper, her voice failing her and hands shaking as she looked down at them.
"Oh, Cassie. It's not pity, from any of them. It's concern for someone they deeply care about. No one pities you, Cass." Ellie told her, lifting her chin up gently. "Cassie, we all lost them. Owaine was my family and he was my friend, just like Pellinore was yours. It's not pity. Believe me."
"I should go, Ellie. I'm sorry for breaking down like this in front of you, I shouldn't have done so."
"Nonsense, Cassie. We are family, that's what family's for. And more than that you are my friend." Ellie told her seriously, her hand still holding her chin up. "I'm always here for you, Cassie."
"Thank you, Ellie, but… I don't want to be a burden." Cassie whispered softly, kissing both Ellies gently and closing the door behind her.
"Cassie, can we talk? Please." Alys called gently through the door after knocking softly. "Cassie?"
"Alys." Cassie said from behind her, looking at the ground guiltily as she walked back from Ellie's chambers.
"Cassie, I was- I wanted to talk to you… earlier, but I couldn't find you." she said, turning around slowly and looking at her friend.
"I know, I was hiding from you." she confessed, looking anywhere but at her and going to the door.
"Why?" she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion as Cassie opened the door and stood in the doorway.
"I- I don't want to-I'm sorry, Alys. I can't- Come in." Cassie said, shaking her head as she tried to figure out what to say.
"Why were you hiding? Are you angry at me?" she asked with tears in her eyes.
"No! I'm not angry." Cassie told her, kneeling in front of the fireplace and lighting a fire before going to sit at the table. "At least not at you." she mumbled as she sat down across from her.
"Cassie, I just wanted to talk. See how you were doing. We haven't spoken since last you were here, and I'm worried about you. You and Owaine were so close to each other…"
"Yeah, close enough to follow him into the Otherworld." Cassie muttered.
"What?" Alys asked, looking at her with worry swimming in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"My magic, it's followed him across the lake into Annwyfn." Cassie answered. "It went with him."
"And you'll never get it back?" she asked gently.
"I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I've only just started to do what I'm supposed to do should this happen."
"So this happens often, then?"
"Not at all. I'm glad I found Gildas when I did, I wouldn't know what to do otherwise." Cassie answered, walking towards the end table where the goblet of wine was placed.
"And who's Gildas?"
"A sorcerer I met, he helped me with this, answered a few questions, left me with many more. The typical run-in with any sorcerer, you know?"
"No, I don't. Cassie, be serious, how are you?" she asked her worriedly.
"About as fine as I can be." Cassie answered, pouring some wine from the jug and downing it in one.
"Slow down, Cassie." Alys admonished, putting her hand over the goblet and looking pointedly at the blonde.
"Why? It's not like I'm with child." Cassie said harshly, pulling the goblet towards her and staring challengingly at the redhead and downing another goblet-ful.
"This is hardly healthy, Cassie. You seem like a drunkard."
"Nothing different in that then!" she said with a sarcastic smile, pouring herself another goblet.
"Cassie! STOP!" Alys said, forcefully taking the goblet from her hand and pulling it out of her reach. "You cannot do this to yourself! You lost your husband, yes. But we all lost him. We lost him and Pellinore! Ahh!" Alys groaned out, breathing heavily through her nose to calm the pain.
"You're in labor?" Cassie said, standing up immediately and making her lean back against the backrest of the chair, placing her hand gently over the womb and concentrating hard. "Has it only just begun? Have you felt the pains before?" she asked urgently.
"But I'm not due for another week, this shouldn't be happening so soon! I haven't felt any pains before." she answered through heavy breaths.
"Just breathe, deeply, in and out." Cassie told her, breathing alongside her to help.
"The pain's gone, Cassie. Relax." Alys said after a minute of breathing deeply.
"Are you sure?" Cassie asked worriedly, reaching frantically for her magic.
"Yes, it's gone, I'm fine." Alys reassured her, standing up slowly and going to the door.
"B-but you shouldn't be walking around alone! What if you go into labor in one of the hallways? Or-or you faint from the pain. Or you-" panicking as she couldn't reach her magic.
"I'm fine, Cassie. Breathe. In and out." Alys told her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, smiling softly at the panic in Cassie's eyes.
"I just- I-I thought. I'm sorry. I'm a mess, you should go to your chambers." Cassie told her, breaking down into sobs and gently pushing the door closed on Alys, turning the key and locking it before sliding down the door and wrapping her arms around her legs and muffling the sobs with the heavy skirt of her dress.
"Cassie, please let me back in." Alys said softly from the other side of the door.
"Alys? What are you doing here alone? You know you shouldn't be climbing stairs this far along." Mor said softly as he walked closer to her. "I've been looking for you, I was worried."
"As am I?" she whispered, nodding to the door and miming crying quietly.
"She just needs time. We all do. Let's leave her alone. Come on, love. You need rest." he said softly, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her gently. "Get some rest, Cass. We'll see you tomorrow." he said through the door with a gentle knock before leading Alys down the hallway and to their temporary chambers in the lower level.
Cassie woke early the next morning with burning eyes and a sore bottom from sitting on the cold stone floor all night, her back stiff from the hunched over position she'd fallen asleep in while crying. She got up and stretched herself out before grabbing her embroidery and leaving her chambers quietly, sneaking through the manor before going outside and sitting under the big oak tree she and Owaine always visited. She sat there until the sun began to rise just looking despondently out at the smooth surface of the lake, trying to feel even an ounce of her magic. But all she felt was empty, hollow.
When the sun finished its ascent and was glinting off the crystalline surface of the lake, Cassie took a deep breath and grabbed the embroidery from the floor, picking at the threads she'd been doing the whole week prior angrily, hating the feeling of futility and hopelessness it instilled in her. She unravelled almost all of what she'd been doing until all the thread had been pulled free. She shook her head and began her work from scratch, re-doing the edges with precision and repetitiveness so she could calm down and focus on nothing but the needlework.
"Cassie, can I sit with you?" someone asked as she sat there working on her embroidery, too immersed in her work to hear who spoke or what was said and giving a noncommittal hum in response. "It's beautiful, is this another one? You were wearing another one yesterday that had the embroidery."
"No, I picked the thread loose and began again." she answered in a distracted voice, the needlework doing its job and keeping her thoughts focused on pushing the needle through the fabric meticulously.
"Why would you do that? It looked very beautiful." he replied.
"It was messy and loose and asymmetrical. If my mother saw me wearing that she'd have me flayed for doing something so lazily."
"It really wasn't half-assed at all." he replied.
"What do you want, Mor?" she asked, putting the embroidery down and looking at him in annoyance.
"To talk." he answered, taking her hand and looking at her pointedly.
"About?" she asked, her anger rising in her.
"You. Owaine. Pellinore." he said, pausing slightly before adding quietly, "Your child."
"How do you- she promised she wouldn't say a word!" Cassie said, closing her eyes as she felt hot, angry tears form and her blood boil when she realized Ellie had told. "She swore to me!" she sobbed out, the ground shaking slightly from her angry sobs.
"No one had to tell me anything." Mor told her, his hands going to her shoulders and gripping tightly. "No one said a word. Calm down, Cassie." he told her, slightly disconcerted at the faint vibrations he felt coming from the ground. "No one said anything." he repeated, hugging her close as her sobs turned sorrowful.
"H-how do you know, then?" she sobbed out.
"Alys was the same. Not that she'd know. She spent her days wallowing, alone. Keeping her hand over her womb without noticing. Cassie, all I had to do was watch you to know." he said softly, kissing her temple and holding her tighter. "Besides, you haven't been able to look Alys in the eyes since you've been here."
"I want to be alone, Mor. I want to not think, please. Don't make me remember!" Cassie pleaded, feeling her tears dry themselves on his shirt as quickly as they fell.
"Then just cry, Cassie. Let it all out, and cry." he said, moving closer to her and getting comfortable while she did as he said and forgot all propriety and held tightly to him.
"Let's go inside, it's time for lunch and I know you haven't had any breakfast." he said, rubbing her shoulder gently before moving to stand up.
"You go inside, I'm not hungry. I'd rather stay and continue with the mantilla. I should have it finished by the time I get back to Camelot. If I ever do go back." she added quietly to herself, already trying to return to the monotonous repetition of the embroidery.
"You need to eat, Cassie. I'm serious." he said, looking down at her with an outstretched hand.
"I don't want any food, Mor. I'm not hungry." Cassie said, trying not to get riled up again.
"Fine, don't come in. I'm still sending someone with food for you." he said, walking away with a shake of his head.
"Don't bother." she muttered, losing herself in the monotony of the needlework.
She spent the rest of the morning concentrating on the embroidery, ignoring the lunch that had been sent out-a cold sandwich, cheese platter and goblet of wine- and the noise of the birds flying about. She only stopped the embroidery when she ran out of thread, having had just enough thread to embroider two rows of flowers along the circumference of the lace veil and the thick border.
"It looks beautiful, darling." Morrigan said from behind her as she stretched out her back, and drank the goblet of wine in one swig.
"Morrigan!" she said, coughing a bit and wiping the dribble of wine that fell down her chin embarrassedly. "You startled me."
"It was not my intention, dear." she said, sweeping a strand of hair behind the girl's ear. "You just seemed so at peace, I didn't want to interrupt you."
"I'm sorry." Cassie said with flaming cheeks.
"For what? Everyone grieves in their own way, Cassie." she said, looking out at the lake. "He loved you. Very much. They both did." she said softly.
"I love him." Cassie replied just as softly. "Both of them."
"It's very tranquil here. I can see now why you both spent the majority of your days sitting here."
"Yes." Cassie said simply, not wanting to say anymore, lest she start crying again.
"If I ask you something, will you answer me truthfully?" she asked after a long pause.
"I-yes, I will answer as truthfully as I can." Cassie answered.
"What's going through your head right now?" she asked.
"Too much to put into words." Cassie said after a quick pause.
"Can you try?"
"I have no words to describe what I'm thinking, Morrigan. Half of the time there's too many thoughts and the other half there's nothing. Truthfully I prefer it when there's nothing. And then I realize I feel nothing. And that's the worst feeling I've ever had." Cassie said, her hand absentmindedly twirling the ring Owaine had given her when they got engaged as she thought. "It's even worse than hurting,"
"I'm glad you're here. It helps, having you and Ellie close. They loved you both so much. I can see him, whenever I look at you." she said after a few moments in silence, sighing and reaching out to stop her from twirling.
"That's not tr-" Cassie said, letting her hands fall limp on her lamp.
"It is very true, Cassie." Morrigan interrupted. "I don't see him physically, obviously, but I see him in the way you smile, and in the ring he got you. I can almost see him here next to you, keeping you company while you sit and do your needlework."
"How?"
"Because he loved you. And you loved him." she answered, sighing deeply and looking down to the cushion in her lap to continue working. "I have more thread if you want it."
"I do, thank you." Cassie said, taking a roll of black thread and continuing, visualizing what she wanted to draw on the crown of the mantilla, taking the chalk from Morrigan and starting to draw the tree and lake with Owaine and her sitting under the tree.
Once the sun was low enough in the sky that Cassie needed to say the spell, she excused herself under the pretense that she had to use the chamber pot. She quickly went towards the garderobe and ducked into an empty room, closing the door and sitting against it while clearing her mind. Once it was clear enough, she concentrated hard and muttered the spell quietly, feeling a slight stirring in her blood as she did and letting out a small smile as she felt so. She walked quickly back to the tree and found that Morrigan had had a light dinner brought out for them.
"I had someone bring a plate for us, I was getting rather hungry." she said, straightening up when Cassie approached and sat down next to where she was. "You need to eat, Cassie."
"Thank you, but I'm really not hungry."
"It matters not whether you're hungry or not. You must eat." she said sternly, looking at her until she reluctantly ate the meal and smiled in mock appeasement.
"No need for the attitude, Cassie. I'm just looking out for my daughter." Morrigan said, rolling her eyes slightly. "You're quite the marvelous artist, you know. The sketch really looks beautiful." she said, nodding to the lace in Cassie's hand.
"Not as good as my mother was." Cassie responded sadly. "She had a talent for this. Didn't need to draw it out before sewing. She just followed her instinct and made beautiful handkerchiefs and cushions and lace veils. I always admired that of her. Wished I had a minimum amount of inspiration to do as she did. I always preferred to be outside. Or with Edurne." Cassie said, looking out at the lake sadly, reminiscing about her times as a child in Hispania.
"She seems like a wonderful woman. I wish I had met her. Especially since she brought such an amazing person like you into this world." Morrigan told her, gently turning her head to look into her eyes and smiling reassuringly.
"Thank you, Morrigan." Cassie said timidly, looking down at her hands and breathing in deeply to hold back the tears that were already threatening their way out.
"No. Thank you." Morrigan said sincerely, her hand stopping Cassie from twirling the ring again with a quick, gentle squeeze.
"For what?" she asked, startled at the gratitude enough to let a few stray tears roll lazily down her cheeks.
"For talking to me, trusting me. Telling me about your childhood." she answered, wiping away the tears with a trembling smile. "It makes me feel closer to you. It makes me feel as if I know you like Owaine did."
"Morrigan-" Cassie started, her tears blurring her vision as she knew she had to tell her about her magic.
"No, don't. We should go inside, the sun's going to be down in a few, anyways." she interrupted softly, standing up and gathering her embroidery. "Come, it'll get cold."
"Morrigan, please, I-" Cassie repeated, wanting to get it off her chest.
"I know, I know. You want to stay out here. Alone." she said with a sigh, bending down and kissing the top of Cassie's head.
"I wanted to tell you what you don't know about me." she whispered as she watched her surrogate mother walk away sadly, looking down and crying disconsolately.
"Cassie, you should come inside. It's well into the night, you shouldn't be here." Morvydd said, coming up behind her and standing over her.
"I'm just thinking." Cassie answered, "I'm fine."
"You've been out here all day, Cassie. Literally. Come inside, get some rest. You need it." he said, lifting her gently and picking up the fallen mantilla. "You finished it in a day?"
"I had help." Cassie answered, the one good thing that had happened that day was that the spell had finally worked-partially. Her magic began to come back gradually and she did what she used to do to learn control when she was younger so she could see the handle she had on her magic. Cassie learned that it was slowly getting back to its usual, constant hum in her veins.
"Come inside, Cassie. We've let you stay out here all day, but that doesn't mean we're going to let you stay here all night. I'm afraid Lord Urien's putting his foot down. He wishes to have a word with you." Mor said, motioning for her to walk ahead and waiting.
"Wh-what does he want?" Cassie asked, suddenly worried.
"What we all do. Father wants his sons back. But we can never get them back." Mor answered quietly. "So, he wants his daughter to not retreat into herself."
"Oh." she said simply, not entirely sure what to make of it and letting him take her along.
"Relax, Cassie. He just wants to speak, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I haven't told a soul." he reassured her, stopping short of the door and turning her to face him. "Just keep your heart open. My father doesn't show it, but he's hurting. Deeply. He needs you as much as you need him." he said, letting her go when she nodded slightly, opening the door for her and announcing her.
"My Lord?" Cassie greeted, curtsying and standing in front of the closed doors
"Have a seat, Cassie." he said, standing up and pulling out a chair beside him for her.
"Yes, my Lord." Casse said, sitting down obediently.
"Cassie, you don't need to be so formal. I'm not going to reprimand you." he said with a weary sigh as Morvydd closed the door behind himself. "Why have you been avoiding us? Morrigan had to search you out, Alys practically stood watch by your door all day, Ellie's been trying to keep you company. You haven't even greeted me." he said, leaning forward and looking at her sadly.
"It was not my intention to offend you so, my Lord. I apologize for all grievances done unto you." she answered in a small voice.
"You've hurt us, whether intentionally or not. Cassie, Owaine was your husband and you loved him very much, but he was our son. The pain of losing a child is horrible, and I sincerely wish you never have to learn just how horrible." he said, kissing her hand and taking her to the door. "Get some rest, my Lady. Those two boys you brought here nearly a year ago wish to see you tomorrow." he told her, closing the door before she could say anything and running his hands over his face with a deep sigh.
Cassie awoke the following morning and used her magic to bring a change of clothes over from the armoire, huffing when the fabric slapped her in the face hard. She dressed quickly, adjusted her mantilla to cover her face and went to the back gardens to sit under the tree again, a yard of velvet and colored thread in her arms as she began her old ritual of letting her magic guide the needle with precision and accuracy. She managed to stitch the outline of the statue on the far side of the gardens with birds flying around it and flowerbeds surrounding its base when she heard the loud, excited voice of a young boy calling after her. She let her magic go and turned around to find Alex running over with his mother trailing behind with a babe in her arms.
"Cassie!" he said happily, stopping short of her and hugging her tightly with a smile.
"My Lady." Aldith greeted solemnly. "Alex asked me if he and Taran could spend the day with you so I asked Lady Morrigan if they could spend the day here."
"Thank you, Aldith." Cassie said softly, pulling away from Alex and tapping the ground beside her for him to sit.
"Sir Owaine was a fair man. Very brave. As are you, I just wanted to thank you for the blessing Alex and Taran are. You have my sincerest condolences, my Lady. And Col's as well." she said, bending down and handing the toddler over.
"He's gotten so big." Cassie commented as she bounced the eight month old on her lap.
"He has. He's already walking. Only a little, but still." she said awkwardly. "I should go, Col's expecting me."
"Thank you for your condolences, Aldtih. I'll make sure to bring them back in the evening." Cassie said, holding back the tears in her eyes. Barely.
"Yes, my Lady." she said softly, curtsying and kissing Alex on the top of the head
"Cassie, can we play? I brought this for you." he said, holding out a small pouch full of round pebbles for her. "It's to play on the floor, we try to hit them with each other. Dicun taught me and we looked for the roundest pebbles we could find. These are for you."
"Thank you, Alex. Perhaps we can play with them a little later. I'm a little tired right now." Cassie said, untangling her hair from the giggling baby and placing him on the grass beside her.
"Okay, what do you want to do now?"
"Tell me about what you've been doing here. Do you like it?" she asked, watching as Taran crawled away from her and giggled when she pulled him black gently, only to crawl away again.
"Okay! So me and Dicun have been…." he said, talking her ear off about everything he's been doing there since they left excitedly, only pausing to eat lunch and go inside when it started drizzling.
"We can play for a while, right?" Alex asked instead as Cassie walked towards her bed and prepared to put both boys down.
"Yes, of course, Alex. we can play. You can teach me." Casie said with a forced smile, keeping the baby on her lap and making sure he didn't get any of the pebbles in his mouth.
"Okay, so you just have to flick them like this and try to hit the other pebble and knock them far away. Dicun plays in a circle he'd drawn on the floor, but I have nothing to draw with, so we can just imagine it." he said, showing her how to play the game and giving her one of the bigger pebbles.
"Use this, to draw." Cassie said, handing him the chalk she used to outline the fabric.
"Thanks!" he said enthusiastically, drawing a circle as best he could and kneeling back for her to play.
"Okay, like this, yeah?" Cassie said, curling her hand and showing him before flicking the stone away and hitting another pebble out of the circle.
"You're very good!" he said excitedly, taking position and tossing the stone himself.
"All thanks to you." she replied, smiling softly as he cheered at her turn and went himself, playing the game for the rest of the hour while the baby just giggled as Cassie kept bouncing him and keeping him from putting the pebble in his mouth.
"Come on, Alex. Let's go for a walk." Cassie said after they grew tired of playing the game.
"Do we have to? Can't we just stay here for a while?" he asked in a whiny voice, rubbing his eyes as he walked around the big room.
"Okay, what would you like to do? Just tell me and we'll do it." Cassie said, trying not to sound forced.
"Can you tell me a story? I love your stories! They're very good!" he said excitedly, running over to where she was sitting with the baby on the carpet and kneeling. "Please."
"Okay, come on, let's get comfortable." Cassie acceded, leaning against the legs of the loveseat and watching the baby as he crawled around on the rug.
"There was once a princess who lived on a star. Her father was king of all the stars in their galaxy. He was a good ruler, fair and just, but ruthless in affairs of state. He never fought a battle that he lost, and he never met an opponent who could best him in his strategies. He was a true warrior, the best in the galaxy.
"He loved his daughter very much, so much so that he gave her the highest room in the castle, with a great big balcony that wrapped around the whole tower. Every day she would go out and look out to all the star systems her father ruled over through a magical sextant. One day, after a big party her father had thrown to find her a potential suitor, she decided that looking out wasn't enough. Something inside her made her feel like she was missing something, like she wasn't full. So, for reasons unknown, she decided to look down. And what she saw left her breathless.
"On the banks of a sparkling lake she saw a glinting head of golden hair looking out steadily at it. And when the golden head turned up, she saw the most beautiful face since Diarmuid. With a quiet gasp she leant against the railing and watched as he fought with a practice sword. She stayed there, watching him from above for hours until he rode his horse back to his castle. Every day, she watched him ride to the lake. And every day she fell a little more in love with him. Days turned into months, and the love she felt only grew. One day, her father walked out onto her balcony and saw her looking down.
"'What are you doing, my daughter?' he asked, coming up behind her and trying to find what she was looking at. 'Nothing.' she says, walking into her room and leaving him there looking around. 'Clearly not nothing. Tell me.' he ordered, looking at her sternly. 'I was looking down to Earth. I was curious.' she answered vaguely. 'I want an end to it. There's nothing on Earth for you.' he said, brokering no argument. 'It's been months since I told you to find a suitable man. Have you anyone in mind?' he asked her. 'No, no one has struck my fancy.' she replied. 'And has anyone struck your interest? This match is for our realm, not for your fanciful whims! It is important to find you a suitable match!' he told her angrily. 'I expect an answer by the end of the month.' he said, walking away and turning around at the door. 'Spend less time with your curiosity and more time thinking about your duty as my daughter.'
"But the princess, obstinate as she was, knew that her father was misguided. She continued watching the golden-haired man from afar, dreaming of how they would meet, how he'd fall in love with her the moment their eyes met. She spent her days thinking of that and her nights lying in bed dreaming of him.
"Her father, however, knew her mind wasn't where it was supposed to be, so one night he snuck into her room and went out onto her terrace, looking through her sextant to the empty lake and wondering what was so interesting about it.
"The next day he confronted her about it, conversationally asking her what she saw so special in the lake. To which she answered the way the sun made it look like pools of stars clustered so closely together they looked like diamonds, which wasn't in fact a lie. He nodded in amusement and continued eating, making small talk with his daughter before dismissing her with a simple wave of his hand.
"She walked back to her room in the tower and looked down to Earth, a wistful sigh leaving her lips as she did. She was so engrossed in watching the golden-haired prince train shirtless that she didn't hear her father enter. And she didn't have any time to move the lens aside before he pulled her away and took her place. 'So this is why you haven't found a suitor? Wasting your time on riff raff? Wasting my time?!' he demanded angrily, taking the sextant and pulling it out of its socket. 'You are my only daughter! This throne needs an heir and unless you marry appropriately, it will not be you, my dear. Desist with this waste of time! Earth harbors nothing good. Nothing good at all. Find a suitable mate from this realm, marry him, and when I die you two will rule over my realm. And I hope you don't decimate everything I have built! You are henceforth forbidden from looking through this sextant, or any sextant! If you will not find yourself a proper suitor, then I shall.' he yelled at her, walking out the door with the sextant and locking her in.
"The moment she stopped hearing his descending footsteps she broke down crying, jumped onto her bed and buried her head in the pillow to muffle her sobs. When she was done crying she went onto her balcony and stared out at the stars, noticing the small cluster of vibrating stars whose people were leaving quickly. Recognising that they were about to fall to Earth, the princess quickly grabbed her magical cloak, one that would keep her warm wherever she was, her bag, which she stuffed with a few dresses, and gathered her skirts. She got onto the ledge of her balcony and expertly worked her way down the tower to the foot of the castle, running cunningly into the shadows to cross the bridge that connected them to the nearest star in the group. She made it to the star seconds before the bridge disappeared and the star fell, ducking into the nearest cottage and holding on hard to the first item she could find.
"When the falling finally stopped after what seemed like an eon, with a harsh impact the beautiful princess walked out of the cottage on unsteady legs and untucked the astrolabe from beneath her shift, pointing it at the horizon and smiling as she walked towards where the lake was meant to be, ignoring the slight twinge in her side in her excitement to find him. She kept to the shade of the trees, hiding under the canopy and shielding herself from the view of the moonlight. She got to the edge of the lake and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and gathering the courage as she saw the golden-haired man with his back turned to her looking out at the undistruved surface. The princess took a tentative step forward and cried out from the pain in her side, falling to the ground and capturing the prince's attention. 'Are you alright? Are you hurt?' the man asked her, but before she could say anything, she fainted." Cassie recited softly, smiling as the boy curled into her and tried to keep his eyelids open.
"Keep telling me the story. Did he fall in love with her? Did her father find her?" he asked, stifling a yawn.
"Okay, I'll continue, but only if you're more comfortable. Come on, get up." Cassie said, patting the loveseat and sitting up on it with the baby in her lap and the boy curled up by her side. "So the prince gathered her in his arms and placed her gently on the horse, mounting behind her and holding her gingerly as he rode towards his palace. He called one of the servants to go and tell the physician while he dismounted and gathered her in his arms. 'What happened, Sire? Are you hurt?' the physician asked, looking at the girl in his arms. 'Not me, I found her by the lake. Well, she found me. Collapsed on the floor and passed out before she could say a word.' he answered with crossed arms. 'I will look her over, Sire. Your mother wanted to speak with you before you see your father.' the physician told him respectfully, waiting for the prince to leave before beginning his examination.
"An hour later, the prince walked into the physician's chambers and looked at the older man expectantly. 'The girl has broken ribs. The pain was too much and she fainted. Nothing is wrong, Sire. Have you any idea who she is?' he asked, looking at the prince curiously. 'No, she's clearly noble if not royal. Her clothes are finer than anything I have seen before. Perhaps she's from another land?' the prince sai, pondering out loud. 'Yes, perhaps. She should wake up in a while, you are more than welcome to wait in my chamb- in your chambers. Just. Wait.' the physician told him. 'Yes, I will do just that. Thank you.' the prince said, sitting down on the workbench and watching the sleeping girl with a small smile, admiring her beauty and the memory of her eyes. When she woke up in the morning the first thing she did was smile widely, then wince as she tried to sit up alone. 'Here, let me help you.' the prince said softly, moving forward to help her sit up. 'Can I ask your name?' he said, looking into her deep dark blue eyes. 'My name is Geowidden.' she said shyly, looking into his eyes and smiling. 'What is your name?' 'Math. Where do you come from? I haven't seen you around here.' he said as he gently rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand absentmindedly. 'No, I'm not from here. I'm from far away. Very far away.' the princess said. 'Well, you're very vague in your answers.' Math told her with a small smile. 'As are you.' she replied with the same smile. 'You've only asked me one question.' he pointed out. 'Oh. So I have. May I ask you one more question?' the princess asked shyly. 'You can ask me anything.' he told her. 'What do you think of the stars?' 'That's an odd question to ask. I suppose they are very beautiful, like you.' he told her, leaning forward slightly and breathing in her intoxicating scent. 'You think I'm as pretty as the stars?' she asked with her eyes full of wonder. 'Even more so.' he said with a smile. 'Do you want to kiss me?' the princess asked, leaning closer to him. 'Very much so.' he answered with a wide smile, closing the space between them and kissing her.
"The two broke apart with matching smiles and glinting eyes when the door opened and in walked the King and Queen. The Queen took one look at the two and knew that her son had finally found his destiny, and that they'd be as happy as she was. The Queen simply smiled at her husband and laughed lightly as she walked forward and took both their hands in hers. 'Meet your bride, Math. Be happy, both of you." Cassie finished quietly, slowly getting up and taking the boys to the bed before sitting down on the loveseat and muttering the words of the spell once more, feeling even more of her magic return to her.